Friday 30 December 2022

Generic list post: December 2022

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Harry Kane's penalty joined Bobby Shmurda's hat in space. Also the month when Terry Hall's data expired. As the lead vocalist of The Specials and Fun Boy Three, Terry was music's best sardonic curmudgeon of the late 70s/early 80s, and I'm genuinely bummed that we're never gonna get a FB3 reunion tour now.

Gucci Crew II - Why's It Always Got To Run (1988)
Luh Tyler - Law & Order (2022)
Luh Tyler - Back Flippin' (2022)
Kookei - Incredible (2022)
Kookei - Toknight (2022)
Steve Da Stoner ft. Rubberband Bootsy - King (2022)
Jack Harlow - First Class (instrumental with hook) (2022)
Sylvia - Pillow Talk (1973)
SZA - Nobody Gets Me (2022)

Other notables: someone in my comment section recommended me Texas by BigXthaPlug; Lil' Ricefield dropped my fave Christmas song of 2022; Ezale dropped a a new teaser snippet that's got me fiending like it's 2016 again; keep it between me & you, but I'm kinda feelin' a new Stalley song called Dilla Bap.

Further reading: my 2022 best songs list, my 2022 late pass best discoveries list, and my 2022 best TV & movies list. Party Sparty repped for Smut Peddlers' One By One in his top 100 Rap songs of the 1990s list.

Friday 23 December 2022

Best TV and movies 2022 awards

I'm not Mr. Netflix, I'm not watching Friends reruns on a Firestick. I'm more like Mr. BBC, but SAS Rogue Heroes could not tempt me, and I just do not got the patience to catch-up on HBO shows about cocky Caucasians.

Welcome to the Martorialist 2022 best TV and movie awards post, hosted by ya intrepid correspondent Marrty Bushell AKA Roger Qbert. My favourite soap opera got cancelled this year, but legends never die and it's coming back from the dead like Chief Keef in 2023. The BBC had a couple of major missteps in 2022 by losing the rights to What We Do In The Shadows and for the toadying fortnight it turned into Mournhub after the Queen carked it. Fortunately the BBC also delivered most of the best TV shows of 2022 so its all mashed potatoes, apple sauce and buttery biscuits. To paraphrase Chris Packham, it's what I pay my licence fee for!

Best TV shows of 2022 IMHO:
Neighbours (2022 episodes)
What We Do In The Shadows (season 4)
Ghosts (season 4)
This Is Going To Hurt (season 1)
The Capture (season 2)
The Responder (series 1)
Cunk On Earth (season 1)
Peacock (season 1)
Snowfall (season 5)
The Love Box In Your Living Room
Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing (series 5)
Frozen Planet II
The Green Planet (season 1)
Only Connect (2022 episodes)
Match Of The Day 1 and 2 (2022 episodes)
The Phenomenon: Ronaldo (documentary)
How To Win The World Cup (documentary)

Honourary late pass shout out goes to the BBC's When Nirvana Came To Britain documentary which completely bypassed me when it first aired in autumn 2021. Basically, it breaks down how and why the U.K adopted Nirvana before they blew up back in the U.S. Granted, there's a few too many talking-head plebs trotting out the usual "it was punk rock" cliches, but as a Nirvana documentary it makes a great prequel to Live! Tonight! Sold Out!!.

I didn't watch a single new Hollywood movie last year and I wish I'd stuck to my gunz in 2022 because White Noise, Nope, and Everything Everywhere All At Once were absolute slogs to sit through at the cinema. Roger Corman's motto as a film producer was to tell directors "no, your movie can't be that long" and the Hollywood studio system could REALLY do with some new Corman type producers nowadays. Red Rocket and Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery were the only American movies of 2022 I enjoyed, but both of them could have done with losing 15 minutes or so. Luckily, there were a handful of movies from the U.K and Europe which came through big time in 2022, with The Banshees Of Inisherin actually justifying its 154 minute running time.

Best movies of 2022 IMHO:
Brian & Charles
Boiling Point
The Banshees Of Inisherin
Funny Pages
The Innocents

There were other 2022 movies I wanted to see like Hatching, X, Crimes Of The Future, and Deadstream. Unfortunately they didn't made it to my local cinemas, they're only available on subscription streaming services I don't wanna pay for, and I can't be arsed finding them illegally on dodgy torrent sites. Can it be that it was all so simpler in the days of local video shops?

Tuesday 20 December 2022

3650 Days Later

"My flow like 50 Cals, I got like 50 styles"

Young Giftz & TREE - Nino
(From TREE Featuring The City compilation; 2012)

Can't let this year pass without celebrating that 2022 is the 10th anniversary of Nino. How very generous of TREE to give such a great song to a young'n like Giftz. As far as TREE songs go, Nino is number one in my top two, and it's been that way since it dropped too. TREE as the ol' dirty bastard son of Howlin' Wolf and Tammi Terrell, Giftz as the plucky sidekick, moonshine songwriting, champagne chorus - it's the song which best defines TREE's Soul-Trap sound innit?

Great Chicago Rap video moment at 1:11 where the windy city lives up to its nickname and blows Giftz m8's hat right off his head.

Sunday 18 December 2022

Mighty Mike Thai Son

New Ezale snippet video featuring Nump and... Mike Tyson!? Can't wait until he drops this song, probably 3 years from now. Riddle me this, Blapman - how come it's the Bay Area's AZN rappers like Ezale, P-Lo and Seiji Oda who are putting the most fun into Function Music™ nowadays?

Saturday 17 December 2022

I Luh Huh

Luh Tyler - Law & Order
(From YouTube; 2022)

Hat tip to the artist/blogger formerly known as Juiceboxxx for hippin' me to Luh Tyler's Law & Order. That shit is a fine introduction on the lyrical exercise tip, and Tyler's new shit Back Flippin' is even better because it's a proper song of sorts. Killer gas drawl on this kid or wot? File both these shits under 'Yungstar's motormouth zoomer nephew from Tallahasse, Florida.'

Luh Tyler - Back Flippin'
(From YouTube; 2022)

Hopefully Back Flippin' is an indication that Tyler is gonna develop his songwriting in future. Be a pity if the kid ends up being just another trendy glorified freestyle rapper hacking out content for the sake of content.

Monday 12 December 2022

The obligatory best rap songs of 2022 post

I share like Sonny Bono, black & white colour scheme like a piano, lay posts about the best songs of 2022.

I'm not ready to become a misery guts who only likes five new songs + one unearthed old Godfather Don demo track per annum, but my year end lists are getting shorter as I get older. And that's fine - year end lists are supposed to be a record of your favourite songs, not a résumé of every new song you've listened to four times in the last twelve months. So, while there's other 2022 songs I've enjoyed here and there, it'd be disingenuous of me to call 'em favourites. Enough babble, usual rules apply: one song per artist, no particular order of preference, features a handful of songs which dropped late December 2021, and no Drake ever.

Special shout out goes to Mr. 2-17's Still Spaz'n for being the only instrumental Rap song of 2022 which really doesn't need any rapping. He tried to make a Yeat Type Beat and accidentally created a Jean-Michel Jarre Swag-symphony.

Best Rap songs of 2022 IMHO:
Monaleo - We Not Humping
Mouse On Tha Track - Big Blossom
Level ft. Mouse On Tha Track - I Don't Miss
Homeboy Sandman - Satellite
2Rare - Oochie Coochie
Ezale - Ironic
Eatem - Lil' Phat Flow
Seiji Oda - Wake Up
Hitkidd & GloRilla - FNF (Let's Go)
Slimeroni, Aleza, Gloss Up & K Carbon - Shabooya
Tony Shhnow - Sometimes
Wavy Bagels - Slice
Young Jr - Bird Walk
Deviosy ft. Young Jr - GlockLover
Asian Doll ft. Bandmanrill - Get Jumped
AD - All I Do
Yuno Miles - Road To Riches
Duke Deuce ft. GloRilla - Just Say That
Consequence - Blood Stain
Nef The Pharoah - Old Enough
Young Bleed - Dat' Water
Boosie - Big Unc
P-Lo ft. Larry June - Good
Spitta - Power Ranger
D4M $loan - Swiper
A-Wax - Streets Callin'
Westside Boogie ft. DRAM - Aight
Texas Boyz - Awready
Kenzo B - Bump It
Stunnaman02 ft. Lil' Kayla - Roll Wit It
Phat Baby - Proper Play (FWS)
Marlowe - Past Life
Sha Ek - Too Oppy
Cash Cobain & Chow Lee - Just Blick It
Kendrick Lamar ft. Kodak Black - Silent Hill
Kookei - Incredible
Luh Tyler - Back Flippin'

Best U.K Rap songs of 2022 IMHO:
Benzz - Je M'appelle
Knucks ft. SL - Nice & Smooth
Lady Ice - Up North
Hazey - Packs and Potions

Best Other Genres™ songs of 2021 IMHO:
The Chats - 6L GTR
Paramore - This Is Why
Beabadoobee - The Perfect Pair
Mr. Fingers - Coastline Paradox
Cookiee Kawaii - Fly Away
Kia Bhn - Jersey Anniversary
SZA - Nobody Gets Me
Burna Boy ft. J Hus - Cloak & Dagger
Real Lies - Dream On
Disasterpeace - Dork

On one hand, it's probably too soon to include SZA's Nobody Gets Me since it only dropped this past friday. On the other hand, I've had it on repeat all weekend and it's already become my favourite R&B single of 2022. Never expected to hear a SZA song possessed by the holy ghosts of Mazzy Star's Fade Into You and Natalie Imbruglia's Torn.

Bonus beats: non-2022 songs which became favourites in 2022.

Bonus bonus beats: a round-up post of all the Audiomack playlists I've made in 2022.

Saturday 10 December 2022

The obligatory 2022 late pass list post

Annual list of non-2022 songs which became favourites in 2022. Raise a toast to the year I finally found CDQ MP3s of Heavy Rain by The Jacka and TCK by Y@k Ballz. As ever, the motto is All Ears For All Eras™.

Favourite old Rap songs of 2022:
Reggie Griffin & Technofunk - Mirda Rock (7" edit) (1982)
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - The Reverend (1989)
Stezo ft. Dooley-O - Piece Of The Pie (1990/2004)
C-Funk - OG Schwang (1995/2008)
Playa G - Drink A Yak (12" version) (1996)
Whodini ft. Peter Gunz & Lord Tariq - Can't Get Enough (1998)
Prodigy - White Lines (1999)
Problem Child - When She Hears This Tape (1999)
Edan - Dope Rhymes For Sure (2001)
6 Shot - Jockamo (2001)
Big Scoob - U Got It (2002)
Timbaland & Magoo ft. Attitude - Leavin' (2003)
Yung Joc - A Couple Grand (2006)
Mac Dre & Zion I - Roll On Out (2007)
Pastor Troy - Just Me (2007)
Traxamillion - Spaceship (2008)
Homeboy Sandman - The Carpenter (2010)
Jamie Jupitor - Future Computer (2016)
Lil' Ricefield ft. Seiji Oda - Trapanese (2019)
Seiji Oda - Like This (2020)
Stunnaman02 - Gut Check (2020)
Eatem - Cup Of Tea (2021)
Yuno Miles - Find My Legs (2021)
Bruiser Wolf ft. Apropos - Momma Was A Dopefiend (2021)
YRB NY - Replace Me (2021)

Alas, ya host didn't come across too many old non-Rap songs which became new favourites this year. Searching for music has never been easier, but finding songs you love remains the hard part. Oh well, plz believe I've had a blast soundtracking my daily operations with these songs.

Favourite old Other Genres™ songs of 2022:
The Jynx - How (1964)
Martin Slavin - Space Adventures Part 2 (1966)
Blondie - Shayla (1979)
George Clinton - Man's Best Friend (instrumental) (1983)
Yuma Nakamura - Dang Dang (1989)
Endangered Species - Endangered Species (1991)
Ashaye - Dreaming (Jungle mix) (1994)
The Chats - Bus Money (2017)
Ari Lennox - Pressure (2021)

Friday 9 December 2022

Kookei Crank Thatii

"If it ain't about no money I don't see it in my schedule
Turn his brains into Chicken Noodle Soup, that n*gga dead, he ain't a vegetable"

Kookei - Incredible
(From Mr. Incredible album; 2022)

A cheat code song for those of us who've been hankering after some 2022 steel-drum Rap. No offence to the Michigan fanboys but Incredible is what I wish Veeze's music sounded like. File this shit alongside Phat Baby's Proper Play (FWS) in the 2022 canon of 'good bad-energy Rap songs which make me feel like I need to restore my moralbiotic balance afterwards.'

Incredible was all good just a week ago, and now Toknight is my jam too. Relentless Kool G. Rap type multis and an opera sample which elevates this one above the deluge of boring interchangeable 2022 Michigan Rap.

"Police askin' questions, I don't know, I popped a bar that night
I can't live with no bitch that like to fart at night"

Kookei - Toknight
(From Mr. Incredible album; 2022)

Wednesday 7 December 2022

My Mind Spray 5.5

Just listened to Rio Da Yung OG's Speak Da Truth and was reminded that he has a tendency to ruin perfectly good songs with one awful line about sex. It's time to acknowledge that Rio's sex rhymes are as nauseating as J. Cole's sex rhymes.

People always talk about Craig Mack jinxing himself when he said "you won't be around next year" on the Flava In Ya Ear remix. But real #MackHive headz know that he'd been jinxing himself ever since he first debuted as MC EZ in 1988 with the "yo, lemme make another hype single and then I'ma tear it up on the album" line from Just Rhymin'.

Every Bay Area Rap fan has a specific track they most associate with DJ Fresh's production tag. Mine isn't the first song I heard with Fresh's tag or even my favourite Fresh production ever. For some reason it's Keak Da Sneak's Maxi Pads.

People say you can separate the art from the artist and still appreciate KanYe Pest's music. I say KanYe Pest is the only producer in Rap history who has ever made a Slick Rick sample sound unlistenable.

Haven't encountered anyone IRL or URL talking about Ka's 2 latest albums, so I presume everybody's grown politely tired of his no-bap sound? More cowbell or go home.

Monday 5 December 2022

I don't even like Jack, but I fux with that beat right there

Jack Harlow - First Class (instrumental with hook)
(From YouTube; 2022)

On one hand, I wish Max B would go jackin' for Jack Harlow's First Class beat because it really is some grown and gorgeous shit. On the other hand, I'm happier than a pig in the proverbial with this instrumental because that beat could be some Mr. Fingers shit. Music that's as evocative as a coastline streaky bacon sunset. Life's a beach and then you fly, pelican, fly.

Friday 2 December 2022

Run-D Jewels

Vincent Gallo's third greatest contribution to popular culture after Buffalo '66 and Palookaville: introducing Run-D.M.C's live performance of Sucker M.C's on Michael Holman's 1984 TV show Graffiti Rock. Davy DMX famously "cut the record down to the bone" and Run-D.M.C & Jam Master Jay followed suit by cutting a live performance every bit as sharp as the record itself. Sucker M.C's is one of those iconic 10/10 classic 80s Rap songs which doesn't have a video, so this clip is the next best thing innit?

A game-changing song for sure, but its impact is much misunderstood by lazy 'Hip-Hop historians' who like a neatly-packaged narrative. I've harped on about this before, but you can't tell the story of pre-golden era 1980's rap by using simple generational shifts and grand Slay Thy Father gestures. Far from wiping Rap's O.G generation out of existence, Sucker M.C's inspired Spoonie Gee, Love Bug Starski and The Fearless Four to hit up Davy DMX & Larry Smith for some Oberheim DMX drum pattern production on their respective comeback singles, and provoked The Furious Five, Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde and The Cold Crush Brothers into recording their greatest songs as groups.

Tuesday 29 November 2022

Generic list post: November 2022

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when the U.S remake of Ghosts turned up on British TV. Gotta be the worst American remake of an non-American sitcom since the U.S version of No Activity, right? Damn, son - CBS have turned the best modern British sitcom into The Big Bang Theory with ghosts instead of geeks.

Reggie Griffin & Technofunk - Mirda Rock (7" edit) (1982)
Whodini ft. Peter Gunz & Lord Tariq - Can't Get Enough (1996)
Eatem - Magical (video) (2022)
Level ft. Mouse On Tha Track - I Don't Miss (2022)
Spitta - Power Ranger (2022)
Duke Deuce - Anna (video) (2022)
Homeboy Sandman - Radiator (2022)
Homeboy Sandman - Satellite (video) (2022)
Marlowe - Past Life (2022)
Seiji Oda - She Go! (Ocaso) (2022)

Other notables: Saweetie shouted out D-Lo and P-Lo on the sole highlight of her new EP; I'm hoping that this video is a hint that Homeboy Sandman & Edan are finally gonna drop the other songs they recorded together; can't wait until Fall Semester by Da PE Teacha goes viral; can you guess which classic Messy Marv song gets flipped on MzA1's Playin' Wit You Heaux?

Other stuff: I upped the zipfile for my Eatem compilation; EttelThun finally put his book up for pre-order; Party Sparty on his favourite Hitchcock inspired movies.

PS: still looking for Seiji Oda's virtual cassette exclusives if anyone has them

Sunday 27 November 2022

Scooby Du

Big Scoob - Can Du 12" single (2000)
1. Can Du
2. Brooklyn Flava

Some more Big Scoob 12" gems from his brief early noughties renaissance. A-side Can Du is some 45 King produced Hard Knock Life-core with a sample from Guys & Dolls; B-side Brooklyn Flava is some hard Rock Brownsville shit-talk with young Uncle Murda on ad libs (allegedly!) Both songs strike the ideal balance between Brooklyn thug-Rap and Golden-Era fun. Not so much Tunnel Bangers as Tunnel Woppers and that's word to B.Fats.

Big Scoob's career trajectory was proof that a Dancer-Turnt-Rapper could drop hotter music than the Rapper they danced for if they were willing to persevere long enough. Scoob hinted this was possible when his 1996 single Champagne On The Block was lowkey better than anything on Big Daddy Kane's 1994 album Daddy's Home, and achieved it fully in the early 2000s when songs like Kryptonite, U Got It, Can Du and Brooklyn Flava bodied anything on Kane's boring 1997 album Veteranz Day. Patience is a virtue, chess not checkers etc.

In hindsight, I wish I'd named this place Champagne On The Blog.

Thursday 24 November 2022

22 'Til Infinity

Marlowe - Past Life
(From Marlowe 3 album; 2022)

This is like the best Hieroglyphics single of 2022. A-Plus effort & execution to the rapper Solemn Brigham & the producer L’Orange for delivering All The Feels™ of a new Souls Of Mischief solo song. Solemn Brigham is, of course, the North Carolina rapper who dropped that Dirty Whip song last year. Reeeeeeewind for my favourite piano sample anthem of 2021:

Solemn Brigham - Dirty Whip
(From South Sinner Street album; 2021)

Like I said, Dirty Whip is the first Mello Music Group single which sounds like it could be a Maybach Music Group single from the era when Rick Ross kept his ear to the underground.

Tuesday 22 November 2022

Plenty of Oda fish in the sea part whatever

WTF are these two 'virtual cassettes' Seiji Oda is selling? As far as I can tell they're like an NFT meets KanYe Pest's stupid stem player album or some bollocks? All I know is that I wanna hear the exclusive songs contained on them, especially the song in the video up top. Problem is, transatlantic time differences mean I'm asleep during the brief windows of opportunity they're available for sale, and even if I did stay up late I still couldn't buy them because I don't use Cashapp or Venmo. Who's gonna hook shit up for ya boy Kenji Mizoguccimane?

Sunday 20 November 2022

WNC Whop Bez & Shaun

"Spit God on them pills and that's word to The Reverend
You ain't cut how I'm cut, son, I'm rollin' off 7
On them fire bitches like 2007
A n*gga just sold me like 2000 for 7
Then a n*gga bought 'em from me 2000 at 7
Oh my God that's a profit, them pills fell outta Heaven"

Spitta - Power Ranger
(From Belly album; 2022)

Checked in on Baton Rouge's Spitta for the first time in a while. Turns out he recently caught the Furley ghost of Jackie Chain's Rollin' and dropped a Mighty Morphin Power Rapper track about pills 'n' thrills and bellyaches. Must be something in that water because Baton Rouge pill tracks hit different than pill tracks from other regions. Song is twistin' my melatonin, maaaan - call it a Ruff Ryder.

Happy Mondays - Step On
(From Pills 'n' Thrills and Bellyaches album; 1990)

Friday 18 November 2022

Pop goes the Ecstasy & Jalil

Whodini ft. Peter Gunz & Lord Tariq - Can't Get Enough
(From Six album; 1996)

The highlight of Whodini's 1996 comeback album on So So Def Records. Some pop-bass chauvinism par excellence with Whodini and Peter Gunz & Lord Tariq sounding surprisingly buddy-buddy together on the pan-generational tip. Basically, it's the best Sporty Thievz song not recorded by Sporty Thievz.

Wednesday 16 November 2022

Gonna tell my kid this was Donnie Darko

Eatem ft. BR Cowboy - Magical
(From Magical single; 2022)

No bunny rabbits were patronised during this video. Voooodooooo running from Eatem's Magical. Video is some hocus pocus Lewis Carrol of the Bayou shit that don't even make no sense - but in a good way. Is this what happens when you mix the brown acid with the brown arses?

PS: hit the dancefloor and do the twist of fate to my Eatem's Greatest Pressure playlist.

Tuesday 15 November 2022

My Mind Spray 5

A Love That's True Part 1 and Sittin' In My Car are my two favourite post-The Great Adventures Of Slick Rick songs by MC Ricky D precisely because they sound like they could be songs from The Great Adventures Of Slick Rick.

World Renown was the best song Slick Rick and Pete Rock recorded together during the sessions for Rick's Behind Bars album so of course that was the song which ended up getting shelved. Flippin' typical innit?

I hate to call Glorilla a One Song Wonder™ BUT everything she's dropped since FNF (Let's Go) has been so dour, so matter-of-fact and so completely lacking the zest which makes FNF (Let's Go) such a choon.

Or maybe Glorilla is the latest victim of Rap's cosmetic dentistry curse, wherein a rapper gets their teeth fixed and their music almost magically takes a dip in quality thereafter. Previous victims include Nas, King Louie, Gucci Mane, and Young Thug.

It's about time that Freeway & Peedi Crakk's Flipside is recognised and realised as one of the best singles of the Roc-A-Fella era. That song is a message in a bottle from State Property's peak, and pure electricity in a bottle which can make a corpse get up offa that thing and get on the good foot.

Sunday 13 November 2022

2 Deep (no Gang Starr)

Level ft. Mouse On Tha Track - I Don't Miss
(From Street Credit 4 album; 2022)

Good timing on a new Level & Mouse On Tha Track single since Mouse's Big Blossom single has been ownin' my speakers for the past month. I Don't Miss sounds like what a new Level & Mouse single should sound like without sounding like any of the previous Level & Mouse singles. Mouse & Level as a duo are kinda like 3 Deep minus Shell and with Level playing the position of Lil' Phat - both gents have very contrasting timbres but such good chemistry together and buku Baton Rouge energy. All in all, this shit is the best Level & Mouse single since DFWT.

Saturday 12 November 2022

Shoulda Been Mo

Coolio - Can-O-Corn
(From It Takes A Thief album; 1994)

The Coolio song which was never a single but really shoulda been. Certainly, it was the song The Source magazine's review of Coolio's debut album identified as the jam, and the song I rewound the most after Fantastic Voyage. Obviously the Everlasting Love sample helps, but Coolio brought some vivid lived-in autobiographical pathos from his own time on the pipe.

If KMD's Black Bastards album had dropped as was intended in 1994 then Sweet Premium Wine surely would have been the follow-up single to What A N*ggy Know? Name me a more anthemic song from Black Bastards which the iconic duo of Zev Luv X & Subroc both rhyme on. I'll wait.
KMD - Sweet Premium Wine
(From Black Bastards album; 1994/2000)

Tuesday 8 November 2022

Everybody Eats, B!

Better belated than Neveruary: for doz who asked for a zipfile of my Eatem's Greatest Pressure playlist you can download it HERE. Eatem is kinda like a rapper from Trill ENT's imperial era who woke up in the present day and decided to have his witty way with these wicked times we live in. Who else but Eatem could tour his local high schools performing songs like Whoop Sum and Go Get Yo F*ckin' Brotha? It's just a pity I couldn't include Stamina on the compilation because he still hasn't dropped it.

Monday 7 November 2022

Seiji Sun

Seiji Oda - She Go! (Ocaso)
(From Ora EP; 2022)

The rest of Seiji Oda's new EP is too wishy-washy singy for my taste, but this song is some Wavy flava for my ear. Only Seiji can make acoustic guitar Hyphy slaps for star-crossed lovers basking in the glow of a sea-front sunset. The first Bay Area Rap song you could play next to OMC's How Bizarre or wot? R.I.P to the Maori bloke with the cravat.

BTW, it's also R.I.P to Tame One from The Artifacts. The 12" they did on Rawkus Records under the pseudonym of Brick City Kids is one of that label's best bangers no IMHO necessary.

Brick City Kids - Brick City Kids
(From Brick City Kids 12" single; 1997)

Thursday 3 November 2022

Walk like a (Sand)man

"They call my place of birth the rotten apple
Where odds are long, the odds are better tryna win a raffle
Where every man's a king, but when a king don't have a castle
He feels more like a serf or like a vassal"

Homeboy Sandman - Radiator
(From his upcoming Still Champion album; 2022)

You know how I'm always saying that Homeboy Sandman is kinda like a Fondle Em Rammellzee? Radiator isn't so much Beat Bop as Bang Clang. Some zensual-bap packed with grain of Sandman non-sequiturs which make more sense to me than most current N.Y rap. Old bean really said "it's practically medieval, if you're not interacting with my VEVO you're basically reacting to placebo, whether you're the type of chap that like to sit and sip a cappuccino or enjoy a finger-lickin' bag of Cheetos"!

Speaking of Sandman's VEVO, Satellite just got blessed with a video which captures the song's essence and puts a whole 'nother spin on this is the way we walk in New York. Been a big fan of people walking around N.Y.C set to music ever since I first saw The Wanderers in the late 80s.

"What a mix
It can’t be recreated in a pic
It can’t be recreated in a flick
Or in a GIF
What you see is not as much as what you missed
But what a gift that what you see is what get"

Homeboy Sandman - Satellite
(From his upcoming Still Champion album; 2022)

Bonus beats: Homeboy Sandman 2022 Quinary Of Quality playlist.

Wednesday 2 November 2022

7 and 7 Is

Reggie Griffin & Technofunk - Mirda Rock (7" edit)
(From Mirda Rock 7" single; 1982)

Mirda Rock AKA the missing link between the vocoder-funk of Glory's Let's Get Nice and the wacky Electro-pop of Oingo Boingo's Weird Science theme. Much like Glory's Let's Get Nice, Mirda Rock is one of those early 80s choonz which hits hardest in its truncated 7" mix as opposed to the regular 12" mix that outstays its welcome by a couple of minutes. Notably used by 2 Live Crew in 1986 and Arabian Prince in 1989, Mirda Rock has barely been touched since. Imagine the fun Ezale & DJ Fresh could have if they freaked it.

True story: the only time Rap needed to exist on 7" single was the 1980s. Not only was it a handy format to snip certain early 80s songs down to a more listenable length, it was also a more affordable format for kids like me who discovered Rap in the mid 80s via chart hits like Run D.M.C's King Of Rock and Doug & Rick's The Show. The 7" single retailed at somewhere between 99p and £1.99, so it was the perfect format for 80s pre-teens who had to juggle our pocket money to accommodate Action Force figures and comics, sessions of Wonder Boy and Double Dragon in the local arcade, and singles like Whistle's Just Buggin' (Nothing Serious), Lovebug Starski's Amityville (House On The Hill), Run-D.M.C's Walk This Way, and the Beastie Boys' Fight For Your Right (To Party).

But then the cassette-single became the format de jour of the same pricepoint, the 7" single was quietly phased out for Rap music, and nobody gave a shit until the 2010s when boutique rare vinylz labels started reissuing 1990s Rap songs as overpriced 7"s for OCD middle-aged blokes who stopped listening to new music some time between 1997 and 2003. And so a whole pointless new cottage industry opened up, propelled by blokes who'd be stamp collecters if Rap music never existed.

Monday 31 October 2022

Generic list post: October 2022

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Max B got hench. Maybe he's been using yoga to get swole? Makes sense since he's been in prison for a long stretch. Really doe, free the King of New York already!

Prodigy - White Lines (1999)
Y@k Ballz - TCK (CDQ version) (2001)
Lil' Maru - On The Block (2021)
Mouse On Tha Track - Big Blossom (2022)
WNC Whop Bezzy ft. Mouse On Tha Track - Don't Stop (2022)
Homeboy Sandman - Boy Sand También (2022)
Duke Deuce - Anna (2022)
Slimeroni, Aleza, Gloss Up & K Carbon - Shabooya (2022)
George Clinton - Man's Best Friend (instrumental) (1983)

Other notables: October's Most Unexpected song award goes to Seiji Oda's City-Pop remix of DB Tha General's classic 2007 Intro; B.o.B dropped an unintentionally funny song defending his right to be a Flat Earther conspiracy theorist lol; Postcard is the first DJ Lucas & Papo2oo4 I've liked enough to listen to more than twice.

Other stuff: I made a post which links all the Audiomack playlists I've made so far this year; lotta hot music new and old contained in them there playlists. I also found out that Max B got the Why You Do That instrumental by a stroke of serendipity caused by New York traffic.

Friday 28 October 2022

Mr. Memphis Massacre's got nards!

Duke Deuce - Anna
(From Memphis Massacre III album; 2022)

Fresh for Samhain you (blood)suckerrrrssssss! Duke Deuce is one of those rappers who drops a lot of Shawshank, but Redemption comes in the form of a grand imperial stomper like Anna. A tale from the Memphis darkside that's as fun as a Halloween rewatch of The Monster Squad. Fun is the key word in that sentence because Duke Deuce's best songs reassemble the old motifs of Memphis Rap in fun new ways which make you wanna kick the nards off your nearest Wolfman.

Tuesday 25 October 2022

Crosstown Traffic

Max B - Why You Do That (instrumental)
(From Why You Do That single; 2007)

Via this video, sum shit I read: the production duo Arkatech Beatz made the Why You Do That beat for Jim Jones and arranged a meeting with him at ByrdGang's studio, but then got caught up in heavy traffic and by the time they arrived Jones had left. Max B was still in the studio writing and recording and told the Arkatech lads he'd pass their beat CD on to Jones, so they left it with him. Max listened to the CD, heard the Why You Do That beat, loved it, decided to keep it for himself, and the rest is history innit. Now, I'm a big fan of O.G ByrdGang era Jim Jones, but praise the Lord for New York's heavy traffic that fateful day. A stroke of serendipity which was both fortunate and glorious.

Max B - Why You Do That
(From Why You Do That single; 2007)

A quick browse through the Arkatech Beatz production discography reveals that Why You Do That is easily the best beat in their entire catalogue. That said, they were also behind the title track of Big Pun's first album so fair play to the lads.

Monday 24 October 2022

Yuma Slapamura

DB Tha General - Intro
(From Welcome To The Navy album; 2007)

Yuma Nakamura - Dang Dang
(From Dang Dang single; 1989)

What do you get if you cross DB Tha General's classic intro with Yuma Nakamura's Japanese City-Pop hit Dang Dang? Seiji Oda donned his DJ hat and found out by blending both songs together on some Ron G type shit. Worlds are colliding and, unlike George Costanza, I'm happy to find myself stuck in the middle.

DB Tha General - Intro (Seiji Oda's City-Pop remix)
(From the internet; 2022)

Is Town-Pop the new wave for Bay Area Rap? Did Junko Yagami's 1983 single Bay City accidentally predict such a crossover? I dunno, but Ezale would probably sound perfect over that shit.

Friday 21 October 2022

Born To Audiomack: 5 lesser celebrated 2022 jams

Call me Erik ten Hag the way I'm dropping 5's out here (geddit?) Here's another Quinary Of Quality playlist, this one consisting of some 2022 Martorialist favourites which are lesser celebrated elsewhere on the Rap Internet. 5 Songs by AD, Stunnaman02 & DrewBanga, Mouse On Tha Track, Westside Boogie & DRAM and Wavy Bagels which each deliver something very singular. True story: I almost weep with joy at how wonderful the Mouse song is.

1. AD - All I Do
2. Stunnaman02 & DrewBanga - Wit A Twist
3. Mouse On Tha Track - Big Blossom
4. Westside Boogie ft. DRAM - Aight
5. Wavy Bagels - Slice

Never in a month of black sundays & blue mondays did I ever imagine that perennial L.A hack-turnt-Adam 22's token black friend AD would drop a song I'd really like, but that's exactly what All I Do is. A notable new entry in my personal canon of Shinola Songs By Shitty Rappers.

Wednesday 19 October 2022

Born To Audiomack: Boy Sand 2022 Quinary Of Quality

Okay, New York's no longer paved with gold, at least it's paved though... ya know? Here's 5 Homeboy Sandman songs from 2022 + the arse end of 2021 which I much prefer to anything on his last EP There In Spirit. Some traditional New York Rap from a slightly untraditional perspective. As I've said before, Sandman is kinda like Rammellzee if he were born in 1980 and had emerged at the arse-end of Bobbito's Fondle 'Em era. So give it up for Boy Sand - N.Y.C's only working rapper officially approved by Edan and Doja Cat.

~~ Homeboy Sandman 2022 Quinary Of Quality ~~
1. Boy Sand También
2. Animal Kingdom
3. Fruit Day 1
4. Satellite
5. A!

Sunday 16 October 2022

My Mind Spray 4.5

Random old song that's been my jam lately: Style by Craig Mack. Combining the Spoonin' Rap bass with the South Bronx horn-stab was such a good idea that I can't believe nobody'd done it before the song's producer Mark "Prince Markie Dee" Morales hooked it up for Mack in 1997. R.I.P to the pair of them.

I'm immune to ironic hypebeast Rap songs which people performatively Stan for on social media, so obviously I hate that new Lil' Yachty song. TBF tho I hate every Lil' Yachty song because I can't stand his ol' Soundcloud Talib Kweli soundin' ass voice.

As great as Mouse & Level's I Bet U Won't is, for true #Mouse&LevelHive members Get It Back will always be their best song together.

I read Pitchfork's 30 best House songs of the 90s list because Philip Sherburne is someone who genuinely knows his onions about dance music. Or, at least, he usually does because he said Masters At Work's The Ha Dance was the House song which blew up the Trading Places sample in 1991 when it was #actually Seduction's Seduction in 1988.

Ain't gonna lie, I was almost as pleased to find the CDQ MP3 of Y@k Ballz's TCK as I was to find the CDQ MP3 of Jacka's Heavy Rain. Apparently Y@k recorded TCK for his debut EP on Fondle 'Em Records but Bobbito wouldn't let him include it because the song contained a rogue N-bomb - a fair decision when the rapper who dropped it looks like a Persian lesbian dressed as a 90s U.K Hip-Hop fan.

Real Lies are probably best experienced live on MDMA, but I caught them live while on mushrooms last night and still Felt Like I Was Part Of Something™ - just without the dreaded MDMA comedown today. It's very much a Boss Trick night when you can even find magic in the parlance of the venue's pissy bogs.

Wednesday 12 October 2022

Don't Believe The Hype (Sticker)

On one hand, it was a game-recognise-game moment when Devin The Dude got top billin' on the hype sticker for Jacka's Tear Gas CD. On the other hand, it was shameful that Cellski got shafted for sticker-space when he was behind the boards and the microphone for the album's arguable best single. Damn, homie - Cellski made Streets Of Frisco but he still got knocked out the box for Planet Asia.

Young Cellski aka 2 Took - Streets Of Frisco
(From Inner City Life EP; 1992)

So, Jacka songs from 2007/2008 you wish he'd put on Tear Gas? I got these 5 on it:

The Jacka - Heavy Rain (2007)
The Jacka - Aspen (2007)
The Jacka - Rule The World (2007)
The Jacka - Wake Ya Game Up (2008)
The Jacka - African Warrior (2008)

Sunday 9 October 2022

Modest Mouse

Mouse On Tha Track - Big Blossom
(From Big Blossom album; 2022)

Highlight of Mouse On Tha Track's most recent album has gotta be its closing equivalent of Millionaire Dreaming from Millionaire Dreamzzz. Mouse realises this because he's shot a video for the song with a Nature Boy Alan Titchmarsh type theme. Forget the science, it's not rocket salad - a catchy feelgood song is thee shit to fertilise your soul. Might hit Mouse up for some horticulture tips because my money plant is looking like it's about to declare bankruptcy.

**EDIT** The album's other main single has grown on me too. It's exactly what you'd expect from a Mouse X BeatKing song and that's why it's so effective as a higher echelon booty-chatter bangeur.

Mouse On Tha Track ft. BeatKing - Universe
(From Big Blossom album; 2022)

Bonus beats: it's always good to see Baton Rouge's new generation hitting up Mouse. In the past few days alone both NBA Youngboy and WNC Whop Bezzy have come calling. The NBA song has got all the attention, but it's the WNC song which makes far better use of Mouse's talents.

WNC Whop Bezzy ft. Mouse On Tha Track - Don't Stop
(From Don't Stop single; 2022)

Saturday 8 October 2022

Marunate on that

Lil' Maru - Change Up
(From Change Up single; 2020)

Lil' Maru - On The Block
(From On The Block single; 2021)

Who dis: Lil' Maru has a flow which shapes monotone into melody, so he's kinda like Lil' Peep if Peep were reincarnated as a Mexican zoomer gangbanger rapper from San Diego. Part of me wants to investigate Maru's music further to see if he has any other songs up my road, but it's probably not gonna happen because I have a very low tolerance for 70 BPM sad boi production. That's okay, though - a lotta rappers are best experienced via the Busy Bee Principle where you boil their entire career down to two songs. Here at The Martorialist we call it a Deuce And Dip.

Wednesday 5 October 2022

Me, Myself & I

Can I jump back and kiss myself like James Brown one time? I'm on the Blogspot and I'm feelin' myself, if your musical taste is lookin' bad then my Audiomack playlists are here to help. Here's a round-up of my best Born To Audiomack playlists of 2022. Let's go deep into this Rap shit:
First there's Edan Deep Cuts which is a buncha songs taken from his 12" and 7" singles. Big fan of how Edan created his own little musical universe by combining Percee P's Lung Collapsing Lyrics with the Beastie Boys' Paul's Boutique.

Then there's The Best of Seiji Oda which collated sixteen songs he'd dropped over the past two years before anyone on the Rap Internet was paying attention. Seiji's music has been a cool breeze of fresh air for me in this current era of Yaseo The Ruler boring NorCal Rap.

There's Eatem's Greatest Pressure which is a compilation of his best singles from 2016 to 2022. I like to think of Eatem as Baton Rouge's equivalent of Duke Deuce.

Then there's N.Y Twelves Quinary Of Quality which consists of five personal classic 12" songs by Phil Blunts, Consequence, Blahzay Blahzay, B-1 & Large Professor, and Ayatollah with Rakim.

There's Nef The Pharoah's Quinary Of Quality which is my top five songs by him from the past two years. Still a big fan of his Thizz Khalifa sound when he gets it right.

Then there's Mac Dre & Khayree's 1996 - 1998 Sure Slaps which collects the best songs they recorded during that period before they fell out. Probably the best playlist of the bunch because Dre & Khayree were one of the greatest rapper/producer combinations of the 1990s.

There's 2022 Club-Rap Quinary Of Quality featuring songs by 2Rare, Asian Doll & Bandmanrill, D4M $loan, Kenzo B, and Cookiee Kawaii. 110 BPM the minimum here.

Then finally there's the 2022 NorCal Quinary Of Quality featuring songs by Young Jr, Ezale, P-Lo & Larry June, Stunnaman02 & Lil' Kayla, and A-Wax.

There's a Homeboy Sandman 2022 Quinary Of Quality featuring my top 5 songs by him from the past 12 months.

And then finally there's lesser celebrated 2022 jams Quinary Of Quality featuring songs by AD, Stunnaman02 & DrewBanga, Mouse On Tha Track, Westside Boogie & DRAM, and Wavy Bagels which haven't had much love from elsewhere on the internet.

Oh yeah, I also used the Good Combination™ of Blogspot & Audiomack to upload a couple of songs which weren't streamable anywhere online: Stezo & Dooley-O's EPMD dis Piece Of The Pie and Big Scoob's minor classic Kryptonite. Cheers to Plug Step Won for the MP3 hook up on the latter song.

Monday 3 October 2022

Apollo Kids

There tend to be two problems with live TV Rap performances on Showtime At The Apollo: the first is too-cool-for-skool New York crowd's lifeless reactions to barnstorming performances from the likes of Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince and Run-D.M.C; the second is too-cool-for-skool New York crown holders like Rakim and Slick Rick rhyming over their own vocal tracks and rendering their performances as glorified karaoke sessions.

So we should be thankful for the Showtime At The Apollo performances where the rappers and the audiences are in total synergy as their lose their collective shit together. Best example has gotta be the post-Biggie 1997 Bad Boy roster's medley of It's All About The Benjamins and Mo' Money, Mo' Problems which could only be improved if Lil' Kim and Biggie's ghost joined them onstage to perform their respective verses. Peep the dearly departed Black Rob playing his position on baseball bat swinging hypeman duty.

Bonus beatbox at The Apollo: Doug E. Fresh living up to his title of The World's Greatest Entertainer™ by killin' it from his seat in the audience with a medley of La Di Da Di, The Show and Bel Biv DeVoe's Poison featuring BBD and Tony Rock. A performance so good even the musical input of a backing band couldn't ruin it.

I'm reliably informed this clip comes from Jamie Foxx"s 2012 Showtime At The Apollo remake Apollo Live. Foxx's 2nd best contribution to last decade after his role in Baby Driver.

Friday 30 September 2022

Generic list post: September 2022

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Queen Elizabeth II went back to the essence. Yo, pull ya skirt down, Britain - old people die everyday, b. Personally, I've disliked the British royal famalam ever since I got picked to play Prince Charles in my infant school's Christmas play. Same ears?

Jamie Jupitor - Future Computer (2016)
Nef The Pharoah - Old Enough (2022)
Nef The Pharoah - Tattooed (2022)
Seiji Oda - City Pop 001 (2022)
Seiji Oda - What It Feel Like (2022)
Homeboy Sandman - Satellite (2022)
Cash Cobain & Chow Lee - Just Blick It (2022)
The Chats - 6L GTR (2022)
The Chats - Ticket Inspector (2022)
Disasterpeace - Dork (2022)

Other notables: there's a New York Drill song which samples Level & Mouse's I Bet U Won't lol; and speaking of New York Drill songs, I quite like the spazziness of Sha Ek's Too Oppy.

Other reading: peep my Mac Dre & Khayree best of 1996 to 1998 playlist and Chicken-N-Kalinka's Cell Block Records playlist. Over on The Spartorialist, King Kos dropped a list of his 101 favourite British movies of all time and I had a go at my own list in his comments.

PS: If you combine my 101 favourite Rap songs of the 90s with my 101 favourite non-Rap singles of the 90s then you have a list that's a billion times better than Pitchfork's best 250 songs of the 90s list. Obviously I haven't actually read Pitchfork's list because the committee of frumpy music critics who collate Pitchfork lists mostly have terrible taste in everything and can't be trusted. Plus, 95% of American music critics are clueless about dance music from their own country let alone the rest of the world. As the old saying goes, 9/10 Pitchfork contributors probably think Juan Atkins is some guy who plays 'soccer' for Real Madrid.