People have been mocking that Trim bird's live performance at the Rolling Loud festival. Which is ironic to me because thee definitive version of her break out song BOAT isn't the studio version or the remixes with YKNiece & BunnaB or Pooh Shiesty, it's this performance of it on the Audio Exhbit YouTube channel. She nails the timing and delivery, and her voice sounds better all natural without any studio trickery. You can't tell me nuffink to the contrary.
Some of my most-listened to Rap songs in 2026 are songs from 2025: Make Her Gig by Ezale, Disco Kryptonite by Newcleus, That's A Playa by Young Bari & BossLife Big Spence, No Lie by OnlyHeaven, and BOAT right here. Like Styles P nearly said, I don't care about the release date and whenever it dropped, I don't care about anything except the song being in my rotation because it's hot.
Beastie Boys - Looking Down The Barrel Of A Gun
(From Paul's Boutique album; 1989)
One of the greatest mini-moments in Rap music: that 2 thump drum breakdown at 1:49 in Looking Down The Barrel Of A Gun. It lasts barely 2 seconds, but it hits like a cattle prod to my body and turns me into Busta in the Everything Remains Raw intro to the Woo-Hah video.
The Assembly - Mob Throb
(From The Assembly album; 2026)
The Assembly is a new Sic Wid It group comprising of E-40, Cousin Fik & Hitta Slim FKA Laroo T.H.H. DJ Fresh's mob musik synths on this song are so high-pitched they could be used as a dog whistle for missing pooches. High praise or wot?
Young Bari ft. BossLife Big Spence - That's A Playa
(From On The Radar YouTube channel; 2026)
A pleasant surprise to see one of the best NorCal Rap singles right now on a big platform like On The Radar. What a pity that it's a mimed performance with Bari & Spence looking like Milli Vanilli. This performance has big replay value for me tho because Bari & Spence have got the song's producer Pay$ean up in the video looking awkward but happy to be there. More rappers should give their producers a moment in the spotlight. Without the beats these rappin' arse MFs would be slam poetry battle rappers - a fate more embarrassing than being a stand-up comedian.
That "BAWSE! TALK! WALK! BABY!" bridge near the end before the final chorus comes in is a true Slap-Magnifico moment for me. Very rare double-whammy in a modern day Rap song.
Lil' M.U. - Top Of Cars
(From Handful maxi EP thingy; 2025)
You already know Lil' M.U's Top Of Cars is one of ur host's favourite 2025 Rap singles. But why did the original video get wiped from the internet and get replaced with a new video which is nowhere near as good? M.U let her own footwork do most of the talking in the original video, but here she mostly leaves it to her m8s to get on their good foot. Worse still, nobody even dances on top of a car second time around. Word up, the enshittification is real.
There's a From The Block performance of Top Of Cars where people in the comments are like "this beat sux!" And that is precisely why Hip-Hop kulcha is such a joke now: the audience mostly consists of dry-eared box-brains with terrible taste in music.
Dilligentz ft. The Pack & Go Dav - Punk Rock (remix)
(From Fresh Impression mixtape; 2007)
I feel like Johnny F**kface the Punk Rock beezy because I never knew this song had a video. As for the song itself, it's proof that the L.A Jerk sound was just an offshoot of what NorCal rappers like The Pack and Dilligentz were already doing.
"Sauced up, bossed up
Just got a few dollars she coughed up
All in a bitch mouth like cough syrup
Can't help this the way I was brought up"
Ezale - On The Radar freestyle
(From P-Lo's For The Soil cypher for On The Radar; 2025)
A mere freestyle, but it's the first time Ezale has rhymed over a P-Lo production and it's a great fit like tighty-whities. I'm down for a proper Ezale & P-Lo collaboration, preferably an EP together like the LARussell & P-Lo EP where Ezale does the raps and P-Lo does the slaps.
Speaking of which, it's very weird to hear the word slap enter Britain's normie vernacular. Just last week I caught an episode of British soap-opera Coronation Street and one of the zoomer lads said "this curry slaps!" O rly? Nane 3 Mac Dre songs, m8.
I'm in here like booty hair so it's my duty here to report that the best New Orleans Bounce song of the moment has an official video. And what an official video it is with a hospital which looks like a fun place to visit. Very pleased to see ol' girl is now going by the name of OnlyHeaven rather than Heaven; lest we not confuse her with the literal Kidz Bop Heaven.
Turns out That Whiney Canadian Nonce™ is an OnlyHeaven fan. On one hand, it's great exposure for the lass. On the other hand, the plebs who listen to That Whiney Canadian Nonce™'s shitty music probably don't care for New Orleans Bounce.
Homeboy Sandman - Win Win
(From Rich II album; 2024)
This is a reality-Rap video, you really go through it every time you have Sandman's music up in your lugholes. I was a huge fan of Boy Sand dog'n my earwax before he got too prudish and prigish these past couple of years (never trust a tee-total, vegan conspiracy theorist!) But Win Win is that old Sandman and gives me hope for his forthcoming sequel to Enough where he's reunited with J-Live and Kurious. Baby, I stay strapped mentally...
You already know I've been waitin' on a video to do this choon justice. LARussell got Funky Grampa from the Give Me A Beat video to pop, lock and dumb-knock it again. Turns out Funky Grampa is an old skool Electric Boogaloo dancer called OG Mike Chaos who has previous form for strutting his stuff to classic P-Lo productions. If the BBC ever accept my pitch for a Strictly Turf Dancing TV show then OG Mike Chaos needs to be a contestant.
When I've been to Oakland it seems like there's an old white bloke in a cap and an M-65 jacket on every block. Mans are in da streetz like black & white Nike Dunks.
"I can't listen to the law, I'm disobedient
'Cause shakin' 5.0 gettin' tedious
I'm a pro, bitch, this ain't intermediate
'Cause MDMA was the ingredient"
Ezale - Do It All Night
(From Do It All Night single; 2024)
We talked Ezale's new single when the visualiser clip dropped, but that shit is gettin' another post because the Pot Pot of The Pillionaire's Boys Club's songs always pop hardest with proper videos. We got son lookin' wired, we got wenches lookin' sultry, and we got posters of The Mack and the 2Pac, E-40 & Boots Riley picture on the walls. For the life of me tho, I can't work out which James Belushi flick is playing on the TV? Movie guys, pick up the slap-phone and dial M for Martorialist.
Eleven years on, somebody needs to convince Ezale to record a 5 Minutes Of Funktown sequel. Crazy visionz, BOOM: these are the 5 beats it'd jack:
Fun fact: when you search for Ago's Stop Your Life on YouTube it takes you to a special suicide prevention page. Here at The Martorialist we say DON'T DO IT like Big Fun.
Dick Fontaine's 1984 documentary Beat This: A Hip-Hop History is very much the Beat Street to Style Wars' Wild Style: a corny companion-piece made by outsiders which still captures the magic of early 80s New York. Endure Gary Byrd's dad-rap narration and Afrika Baambaataa with 2 studded belts wrapped around his noggin so you can enjoy such highlights as a DJ cuttin' up Black Grass while the Rock Steady Crew strut their stuff, Kool Herc driving around the Bronx in a droptop Cadillac with gigantic speakers propped up in the back seat, DJ Jazzy Jay on the decks at a basketball court block party, graffiti artist Brim crossing the tracks of an elevated station like he's James Bond to the sound of Jonzun Crew's Space Is The Place, and the Cold Crush Brothers dressed like Rick James' Band doing a live routine over Jeckyll & Hyde's Gettin' Money. There's even an interview with the infamous N.Y vandal squad coppers Hickey & Ski who were later immortalised as Fred Flintstone & Barney Rubble on one of Seen's whole car trains.
Malcolm McLaren also pops up to talk about being in New York with Bow Wow Wow and ending up going to a block party deep in the rubble of the South Bronx where he met Afrika Baambaataa. This, of course, lead to McLaren importing Hip-Hop kulcha to Europe via his Buffalo Gals single/video. Back in the late 2000s ya boi Martaveli went to a screening of Dick Fontaine's 1988 follow-up documentary Bombin' hosted by Fontaine where he said he regretted including McLaren in Beat This because ol' Malcolm was "a culture vulture opportunist". O rly? You say opportunistic, we say gave the opportunity to Trevor Horn & Anne Dudley and The World's Famous Supreme Team to record classics like Buffalo Gals, D'ya Like Scratchin'?, World's Famous, and Hey DJ. Malcolm In The Middle™ of greatness: music which could have never existed without his galaxy brain impresario vision of putting Horn & Dudley with two New York radio DJs. Plus, if we're talkin' posh English blokes accusing each other of being "culture vulture opportunists" then what did Dick Fontaine ever do for Hip-Hop other than those two documentaries? Name 3 Ultramagnetic MC's songs, m8!
Needless to say, some of the Beat This scenes featuring that nonce Afrika Baambaataa have NOT aged well, particularly the one where he meets some young lads in a dark room and then takes them away with him. Cash Money was an army, Zulu Nation was a grooming gang.
Madness - Night Boat To Cairo
(From Le Collaro Show; 1980)
Because I'm still in the 2 Tone zone after Dance Craze, here's Madness doing Night Boat To Cairo on some French TV show in 1980. It's a mimed performance, but in the best way possible. Word around town, England's 2022 World Cup semi-final loss to France was reparations for this clip. Parlez-vous Francais, mi amor, merci, oui oui, bon bons, good moaning and all apologies.
Belated video for my favourite Homeboy Sandman loosie of last year, shot in a German Hip-Hop club which looks exactly like what you'd imagine a German Hip-Hop would look like. As with most of the best Sandman songs, this one strikes a delicate balance between cosmic and commonplace by mixing Galaxy Brain shit with Ground Control shit. I'm not saying I agree and I'm not saying I don't - I'm saying I won't ever stop finding entertainment in Sandman's wacko eccentricities. The song's also a good example of No Bap with motion - and that's thanks to a bassline which will have you bustin' and pluckin' air-bass moves like Mark King from Level 42.
Big Doobie - I Go To Costco For That Wock (And That Chicken Bake)
(From I Go To Costco For That Wock (And That Chicken Bake); 2023)
File this under 'novelty Rap which hits like Reality-Rap in the cost of living crisis era.' God bless Costco - we came for the fabled Kirkland white t-shirts, we left with a trolley full of frozen meat and fabric conditioner. Call it Operation Stockola.
Hat tip to the artist/blogger formerly known as Juiceboxxx for hippin' me to Luh Tyler's Law & Order. That shit is a fine introduction on the lyrical exercise tip, and Tyler's new shit Back Flippin' is even better because it's a proper song of sorts. Killer gas drawl on this kid or wot? File both these shits under 'Yungstar's motormouth zoomer nephew from Tallahasse, Florida.'
Luh Tyler - Back Flippin'
(From YouTube; 2022)
Hopefully Back Flippin' is an indication that Tyler is gonna develop his songwriting in future. Be a pity if the kid ends up being just another trendy glorified freestyle rapper hacking out content for the sake of content.
"If it ain't about no money I don't see it in my schedule
Turn his brains into Chicken Noodle Soup, that n*gga dead, he ain't a vegetable"
Kookei - Incredible
(From Mr. Incredible album; 2022)
A cheat code song for those of us who've been hankering after some 2022 steel-drum Rap. No offence to the Michigan fanboys but Incredible is what I wish Veeze's music sounded like. File this shit alongside Phat Baby's Proper Play (FWS) in the 2022 canon of 'good bad-energy Rap songs which make me feel like I need to restore my moralbiotic balance afterwards.'
Incredible was all good just a week ago, and now Toknight is my jam too. Relentless Kool G. Rap type multis and an opera sample which elevates this one above the deluge of boring interchangeable 2022 Michigan Rap.
"Police askin' questions, I don't know, I popped a bar that night
I can't live with no bitch that like to fart at night"
Kookei - Toknight
(From Mr. Incredible album; 2022)
Eatem ft. BR Cowboy - Magical
(From Magical single; 2022)
No bunny rabbits were patronised during this video. Voooodooooo running from Eatem's Magical. Video is some hocus pocus Lewis Carrol of the Bayou shit that don't even make no sense - but in a good way. Is this what happens when you mix the brown acid with the brown arses?
"They call my place of birth the rotten apple
Where odds are long, the odds are better tryna win a raffle
Where every man's a king, but when a king don't have a castle
He feels more like a serf or like a vassal"
Homeboy Sandman - Radiator
(From his upcoming Still Champion album; 2022)
You know how I'm always saying that Homeboy Sandman is kinda like a Fondle Em Rammellzee? Radiator isn't so much Beat Bop as Bang Clang. Some zensual-bap packed with grain of Sandman non-sequiturs which make more sense to me than most current N.Y rap. Old bean really said "it's practically medieval, if you're not interacting with my VEVO you're basically reacting to placebo, whether you're the type of chap that like to sit and sip a cappuccino or enjoy a finger-lickin' bag of Cheetos"!
Speaking of Sandman's VEVO, Satellite just got blessed with a video which captures the song's essence and puts a whole 'nother spin on this is the way we walk in New York. Been a big fan of people walking around N.Y.C set to music ever since I first saw The Wanderers in the late 80s.
"What a mix
It can’t be recreated in a pic
It can’t be recreated in a flick
Or in a GIF
What you see is not as much as what you missed
But what a gift that what you see is what get"
Homeboy Sandman - Satellite
(From his upcoming Still Champion album; 2022)
Mouse On Tha Track - Big Blossom
(From Big Blossom album; 2022)
Highlight of Mouse On Tha Track's most recent album has gotta be its closing equivalent of Millionaire Dreaming from Millionaire Dreamzzz. Mouse realises this because he's shot a video for the song with a Nature Boy Alan Titchmarsh type theme. Forget the science, it's not rocket salad - a catchy feelgood song is thee shit to fertilise your soul. Might hit Mouse up for some horticulture tips because my money plant is looking like it's about to declare bankruptcy.
**EDIT** The album's other main single has grown on me too. It's exactly what you'd expect from a Mouse X BeatKing song and that's why it's so effective as a higher echelon booty-chatter bangeur.
Mouse On Tha Track ft. BeatKing - Universe
(From Big Blossom album; 2022)
Bonus beats: it's always good to see Baton Rouge's new generation hitting up Mouse. In the past few days alone both NBA Youngboy and WNC Whop Bezzy have come calling. The NBA song has got all the attention, but it's the WNC song which makes far better use of Mouse's talents.
WNC Whop Bezzy ft. Mouse On Tha Track - Don't Stop
(From Don't Stop single; 2022)
