Saturday 30 July 2016

Generic list post: July 2016

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Drew Millard came off as the most likeable character in teh great ironic h*pster N.Y media mafia civil war of 2016. No shots - at least Millard knows Jackie Chain isn't "a white guy".

2Pac - F*ck All Y'All (O.G version) (1994)
2Pac - Out On Bail (O.G version) (1994)
The Jacka - Rule The World (2007)
Dat Boi T ft. Kap G - DGAF (2016)
Gucci Mane ft. Young Thug - Guwop Home (2016)
Shy Glizzy - Think About It (2016)
Jimmy Wopo - Walkin' Bomb Part 2 (2016)
Fergie - M.I.L.F.$ (2016)
Gherkin Jerks - Strange Creatures (1989)
Shift K3Y - The Underground (2016)
Shift K3Y - Like This (2016)

Other notables: Ezale deserves a dead arm from Will High for promising We Want Some and then going silent; 21 Savage's whole Chinese Jordan GBE shtick is not for me but No Heart jams; Lavish D's Where's Waldo? is 2016's most unpleasant dis record; couldn't find any keepers on the new TRILL compilation.

PS: don't sleep on my best of Kap G and best of Fam-Lay playlists or my latest Recent-ish Jams compilation.

Tuesday 26 July 2016

Generic list post: favourites of the favourites 1979 - 2015

What do u do when Ezale and Nef The Pharaoh both take forever to drop their respective summer slaps and the Jimmy Wopo song you've been waitin' on has an unnecessary Sonny Digital cameo? You whip up the ultimate stopgap post in the form of a list where you identify your favorite rap song of each year from 1979 to 2015. Personal canon or just the type of parlour game one plays during another sleepless night when the country is gripped by a heatwave? Blog game Best of Both Worlds, tbh.

Spoonie Gee - Spoonin' Rap (1979)
Spoonie Gee - Love Rap (1980)
Blondie - Rapture (1981)
The Fearless Four - Rockin' It (1982)
Jimmy Spicer - Money (Dollar Bill Y'all) (1983)
Egyptian Lover - I Cry (Night After Night) (1984)
Doug E. Fresh & MC Ricky D - La Di Da Di (1985)
Schoolly D - Saturday Night/Salt-N-Pepa - Push It (1986)
Audio Two - Top Billin' (1987)
Slick Rick - The Moment I Feared (1988)
Mac Dre - Young Black Brotha (1989)
Too $hort - The Ghetto/Brand Nubian - Step To The Rear (1990)
Ice-T - New Jack Hustler (1991)
Eric B. & Rakim - Juice (Know The Ledge) (1992)
Snoop Doggy Dogg - Gin And Juice (1993)
Snoop Doggy Dogg - Murder Was The Case (Remix) (1994)
AZ - Doe Or Die (1995)
M.O.P ft. Kool G. Rap - Stick To Ya Gunz (1996)
Suga Free - I'd Rather Give You My Bitch (1997)
OutKast - Aquemini (1998)
MF DOOM ft. DJ Cucumber Slice - Rhymes Like Dimes (1999)
Black Rob - Whoa (2000)
Ludacris ft. Nate Dogg - Area Codes (2001)
Grand Puba - Issues (Pete Rock Remix) (2002)
T.I. - Be Better Than Me/Too $hort - Burn Rubber (2003)
Lil' Wayne ft. Mannie Fresh - Go D.J. (2004)
Z-Ro - Mo City Don (Freestyle) (2005)
Too $hort - Blow The Whistle (2006)
Max B - Why You Do That (2007)
Suga Free - Allergic To Bullshit (2008)
Lil B - Like A Martian (2009)
Waka Flocka Flame ft. Kebo Gotti - Grove St. Party (2010)
E-40 ft. Stresmatic & B-Legit - Rear View Mirror (2011)
Gunplay - Jump Out (2012)
Lil' Wayne ft. 2 Chainz - Rich As F*ck (2013)
Rae Sremmurd - No Type (2014)
Rich Homie Quan - Flex (Ooh, Ooh, Ooh) (2015)

Rap Bro Internet in near-full effect here because the only years other than 1981 and 1986 where I considered songs by Female Rappers™ were 2000 (Lil' Kim's Suck My Dick), 2002 (Trina's B R Right), 2006 (Young B's Chicken Noodle Soup) 2011 (Lady's Pussy), and 2014 (Iggy Azalea's Fancy.) Honour thy Mia X, but f*ck these bloggas who stan for Lauryn Hill.

**EDIT** Russian Ray zipped this list up. благодаря, comrade.

Sunday 24 July 2016

Season of the Sacness

How come Lavish D is allowed to record albums in prison? More importantly, how come Lavish D is allowed to record songs threatening Mozzy's life and implicating himself in ordering various shootings of Mozzy's crew from prison? It'd be tempting to call Lavish the Vybz Kartel of rap but even the World Boss couldn't get away with a pokyhumous song like Where's Waldo?:

"Even tho you lyin' in your songs, you can rap good
You can be the next Denzel, you can act good
The lil' homies catch you, they gon' smoke you like a backwood
Even yo' fans be sayin' shit that a rat would"

King Lavish D - Where's Waldo?
(From Real N*ggaz Don't Die album; 2016)

Ya host enjoyed Lavish D's beef with Philthy Rich as the banner on this site can attest, but this situation with Mozzy is already very unpleasant and can't possibly end well for either party. Rappers - stop the violence or, at the very least, take it back to the days of making your enemy run headfirst into a hedge.

Friday 22 July 2016

Reasons why I love YouTube # 72

Shout outs to YouTube, the HD uncensored version of Guns N' Roses' 1988 show at The Ritz is on that bitch! Peep how Axl Rose's snakeskin jacket glistens like jizm under moonlight, and hear the G.O.A.T rawk song of the '80s free from any of MTV's annoying bleeping during its profane final third:

L.A's Streetz is talkin' and they reckon that Axl's trademark Snake Dance was just a modified Crip Walk for white ppl. The proof is in the prancing:

Tuesday 19 July 2016

Born To Audiomack: best of Kap G edition

LOOK AT WHAT KAP G'S BROUGHT TO THE TABLE THESE PAST 3 YEARS: a wildly inconsistent catalogue for sure, but when he does come correct, the College Park Mexican is one of the few distinct artists in modern Atlanta rap. Here's a best of playlist from someone who's been ridin' for Kurious George Ramierez since 2013: tagless MP3s for all the song which exist no-DJ, tagged MP3s for the few song which don't. "Call Me David I'm The One To Drake" for the tagless F*ck La Policia MP3 which isn't available on any British retail/streaming service - Brexit done built a wall already?

Related: Russian Ray still doin' marvelous work zipping up my old generic list posts.

Monday 18 July 2016

Feel it in the air

You got me mixed-up twisted like Arabian gymnasts if you think I haven't been waitin' on this song. Finally drops later this week apparently.

Saturday 16 July 2016

Rap songs that aren't on YouTube but really should be # 17

"Might post her on the street 'cause I'm colder than Polish feet
You can you say you sorta like The Jack' but you know you weak
You.. couldn't move like me in ya deepest sleep"

The Jacka - Rule The World
(From AP.9 Presents: The Mob Movement compilation; 2007)

Short & not-so-sweet Jacka deep cut from the same AP.9 compilation Aspen originally appeared on. In a perfect world where rappers don't leave key songs off their own albums, Rule The World woulda been the regal intro track on Tear Gas with Aspen following it as the opening song proper.

BTW, Russian Ray just turnt my 2010 - 2015 NorCal Slap Files playlist into a RAR file. I'm not a rap blogga, I just post everything I like; Ray be right with me, zippin' up everything I write. It's the life, it's not a fairytale; she got a narrow tail like Natalie Gal.

Thursday 14 July 2016

Y'all can keep catchin' feelings, I'ma keep catchin' planes

"And it lookin' like a Smurf
And my hair lookin' like I surf
I been real since, like, birth
When the Vato pull up you hear that *BRR BRRR* that chirp"

Dat Boi T ft. Kap G - DGAF
(From DGAF single; 2016)

So calebo ondulado. Here at The Martorialist we do GAF about the Houston Latino X Kap G connection goin' on this summer. Viva La Vatos!

Related note: Russian Ray zipped up my anti-boys in blue generic list post featuring Kap's F*ck La Policia. Вива ла Раза!

Tuesday 12 July 2016

No blacks in Hauntology please, we're British

After decades of speculation about whether Simon Reynolds views the voices of ethnic minorities in rap music as a surface noise to be endured rather than enjoyed, his Wire magazine review of KanYe West's last album finally confirms what many of us have suspected all along: Grimey Simey™ doesn't care about blk ppl.

Whereas Reynolds would usually dismiss Rap's labyrinthine complex stories of life in AmeriKKKa as "some same old shit about bling and hoes" he tolerates for the thrill of the Mantronix/Bomb Squad/Dr. Dre/Timbaland/Mannie Fresh/Neptunes/Lil' Jon/DJ Mustard production backing it, his Life Of Pablo review finally makes it explicitly clear that he's always viewed the black voices in rap music as an undesirable sub-human nuisance he'd hate to share airspace with, let alone swap bodies with on some Castor Troy shit:

Moral of this story? As far as ex-Melody Maker scribes called Simon go, even Pricey has less #problematic views about ethnic minorities than Grimey Simey™.

Monday 11 July 2016

Generic list post: FTP edition

If you were a teacher's pet in junior school who went on to get bullied in high school then chances are you became a pig as an adult. F*ck all bizzies except Officer Crabtree from 'Allo 'Allo and the blonde bird from Reno 911. 22 great rap songs which are none too complimentary about the rozzers:

Ice-T - Street Killer (1991)
Cypress Hill - Pigs (1991)
Kap G - F*ck La Policia (2014)
Public Enemy - 911 Is A Joke (1990)
Mac Dre - Punk Police (1992)
Nighthawks - Cop Hell (2002)
Lil' Boosie ft. Webbie - F*ck The Police (2009)
Main Source - Just A Friendly Game Of Baseball (1991)
Ice Cube - Ghetto Bird (1993)
Max B - Cops Come Runnin' (2009)
Devin The Dude ft. Cory Mo - Go Fight Some Other Crime (2004)
KRS One - Black Cop (1993)
Big Lurch ft. Jay Boi - On Da Run (2004)
O.C. - Constables (1994)
D.I.T.C - The Enemy (1999)
The Coup - Pork And Beef (2001)
Geto Boys Crooked Officer (1993)
Turf Talk ft. E-40 - Popo's (2007)
Uncle Murda - I Shot The Sheriff (2006)
N.W.A - F*ck The Police (1988)
Eldorado Red ft. Mel Matrix - F*ck The Police Pt. 2 (2006)
Mic Terror - I Don't Call The Cops (2016)

Sunday 10 July 2016

She told me everything you said and how you want me dead

"Never trust a bitch, that's what I told
N*ggas change on you quick, that's what I was shown"

Yung Cat - Money On My Head
(From YouTube; 2016)

With or without his trademark porch, Yung Cat is quietly blooming into Kansas City's first and foremost exponent of Husalah-wave. Call him Cat because his town's fulla rats.

Thursday 7 July 2016

Born To Audiomack: best of Fam-Lay edition

Upped my best of Fam-Lay compilation to the 'mack because I'm tryna get ya browser Skrung Owt in 2016. You either lyin' or you deaf as Foxy Brown if you claim this isn't a top five Martorialist playlist of all time.

Other Audiomack rap playlists courtesy of ya boy: AZ Deep Cuts, Best of Jackie Chain, Best of Grip Plyaz, Grand Puba Deep Cuts, Best of Lil' Chris, and Rap Songs Which Aren't On YouTube.

Tuesday 5 July 2016

R U Still Damned?

2Pac - Fuck All Y'All (O.G version)
(From Thug Life sessions; 1994)

Personal favourite unreleased O.G version 2Pac song right here. Apparently intended for the Thug Life album and presumably mothballed because of the George Benson sample. Quite fancy the notion of it being an exclusive on the Above The Rim OST, meself - Lord knows that compilation could have done with a few more rap songs in among all those lukewarm R&B jams.

Remember when Suge Knight & Dr. Dre shelved the exclusive 1994 Dogg Pound & Nate Dogg bangeur featured in Above The Rim's obligatory club scene, probably so they could include one of those two shitty Jewell songs on the movie's OST instead? Thankfully, it turned up on the Sunset Park soundtrack 2 years later in 1996, albeit with its title switched from Mobbin' With Tha Dogg Pound to Just Doggin'.

Monday 4 July 2016


Shift K3Y - The Underground
(From his upcoming Thru The Nit3 album; 2016)

Talk about a bassline for the waistline. Shift K3Y is really out chea overcharging the industry for what they did to Artful Dodger and Dane Bowers. Time to pay the (pied) piper.

r|t|c >>>>>>>>> R.T.J.

Sunday 3 July 2016

A recent-ish jams 4 u compilation (2016 volume 3)

Everything I post is super-factual, even if I'm bloggin' supernatural. Everything I post got that thump, especially if I put it on a Jams 4 U comp':

Yung Cat - You Ah Bitch (2016)
Dreezy ft. Jeremih - Body (2016)
Brill 4 The Thrill ft. Plushh - Pay Me (2016)
Webbie ft. Boosie BadAzz - Problem (2016)
A-Wax - Always Something (2016)
Rittz ft. Mike Posner & E-40 - Inside Of The Groove (2016)
Danny Brown - When It Rain (2016)
Kap G - Southside (2016)
Carolyn Rodriguez ft. Kap G - On The Grind (2016)
Jimmy Wopo - Elm Street (2016)
The Team - Can I (2016)


Dreezy & Jeremih's Body is probably a tad too old and obvious by now, but I'll be damned if it hasn't blossomed into my holding summer jam of 2016. Conversely, Carolyn Rodriguez & Kap G's On The Grind is my favourite song of the moment which absolutely nobody else gives a f*ck about - where's the luv 4 Latino Rap & Bullshit songs with air-guitar potential?

Saturday 2 July 2016

I'm a walkin' bomb so my young boys grenades

No Afrika Bambaataa?

"Now I'm that muthaf*ckin' n*gga, tell me sumthin' I don't know
Tick-tick, bitch - Jimmy Wop 'bout to blow"

Jimmy Wopo - Walkin' Bomb Part 2
(From YouTube; 2016)

The unlikely scenario where the Elm Street kid from Pittsburgh drops another blamger. File this under ‘there's life in the old Get Up Offa That Thing break yet’ and ‘rap videos which abandon their sub-plot halfway through.’ Did the white kid get outta Wopo's neighbourhood in one piece or is he lost in time like the spannered penalties in the Italy/Germany game? Who knows, but Wopo is a right motormouth of a rapper with this one.