"Don't come round me talking all this Crew shit
You was strapped, saw the kid who shot me and ain't do shit
If that was me on the othеr hand
Woulda shot him and the n*gga he was with, I'm just keeping it a hunnid, fam
So miss me with all the phony shit
Woulda did a bid for you, thinkin' we was on somе real homie shit
That woulda been time away from my kids, n*gga
Woulda been sick thinkin' bout all the sucka shit you did, n*gga
But it is what it is, n*gga"
Me & Uncle Murda go back like Lil' Baby & Young Thug songs not named Pacifier, but my old chum ain't made shit dope since Cam'Ron Voice. Fortunately, friendship is a song topic which has brought the best out of everyone from Whodini to Dag Nasty and here it proves to be the ideal framework for Murda's foulness to flourish into a Bro Betrayal Ballad™. Listen closer tho because in every slice of Uncle Murda's ig'nance there's always a kernel of truth.
Last week it was Nino Man, this week it's Uncle Murda. Check back next week to see if I've found a Dave East song I like (probably not unless he miraculously drops some undeniable shit.)
Roots Manuva - Witness (1 Hope)
(From Run Come Save Me album; 2001)
A spectacular fluke in the otherwise dull career of stoner/student fave Roots Manuva or wot? Witness (1 Hope) is some bionic Englo-Jamaican Bashment-Rap - basically, that's my fancy way of saying it's the only U.K Hip-Hop song you can play in a DJ set between Mr. Oizu's Flat Beat and Dizzee Rascal's I Luv U.
Bad Bascomb - Black Grass
(From Black Grass Music album; 1973)
Breakbeat Lenny's Ultimate Breaks and Beats compilations contain a fair few shinola songs by the shittiest artists. For my money, Bad Bascomb's Black Grasss is the best of the bunch and I type that with the authority of someone who once bought Bascomb's one LP in the vein hope it contained any other jams (spoiler: it doesn't.) Originally a B-Boy favourite which Howie Tee later used as the backbone of Special Ed's Hoedown, Black Grass is peak Duelling Banjos-core.
Even Russell Grant couldn't have predicted that a CBeebies U.K Drill equivalent of WSTRN's In2 would be Brit-Rap's first legit anthem of 2021. Nuff respect to A1 x J1 for stickin' to the Nice & Smooth blueprint of one short chunky member & one long skinny member.
"Stresses are all around
Stress wants to be a verb, make sure that it's a noun
When stresses are repressed, effects can be profound
So don't be in denial when stress is goin' down"
Better out than in: off-kilter observational Rap that's more of an Overlord Of Overthinking handbook than Organized Konfusion's hall of famer and its equally hallowed remix. This song properly clicked for me when I realised it's got that sneaky MF Grimm Tick Tick sloppy-choppy energy in Sandman's flow and Quelle Chris' production. Brain sick, tick tick, stress will blow it up!
Tick Tick definitely ranks somewhere in the upper echelon of ya host's top ten G.O.A.T guest solo songs on other rapper's albums. The other nine? In no particular order: Lady Of Rage's G Funk (Intro) from Snoop's Doggystyle; Mac Dre's Game I'm Spittin' from Dubee's AKA Sugawolf; MF DOOM's I Hear Voices Part 1 from MF Grimm's The Downfall Of Ibylis; Kurious' Fastlane from King Gheedorah's Take Me To Your Leader; Fam-Lay's FamLay Freestyle from The Clipse's Lord Willin'; Lil' Cease's O.G solo version of Crush On You from Lil' Kim's Hard Core; Lil' Wayne's Wayne's Takeover 1 from Mannie's The Mind Of Mannie Fresh; Un Kasa's Un Casa from Dipset's Diplomatic Immunity; and Memphis Bleek's Hand It Down from Jay Camel's Volume 2.
"F*ck 5-0!
I was tryna get a bag on the ave but the slabs with 12 knocked down my do'
Had Show & Tell money, now I need bail money, man, 12 f*cked up my dough
Yeah, the trap was a crib so I stashed where I live, shoulda never had it there I know
Now n*ggas tryna take my flow, I blame 12 so f*ck 5-0!"
Nino Man - 5-0
(From No Turning Back EP; 2021)
Oi! Copper! Leave them dealers alone! New wave Harlem waviness for the Roddy Rich Homie Quan Durk-core generation. Conclusive proof that all New York rappers have at least one absolute CHOON in them when they take tips from the Max B manual to making music
Something I learned today: Run-D.M.C performed You Be Illin' and It's Tricky on the BBC's Old Grey Whistle Test in 1987. Rap music and Adidas is how I was raised, Run-D.M.C and the Beasties were the guys that I praised - thus, seeing this as a kid in 1987 woulda blown my mind almost as hard as seeing King Of Rock on Live Aid did.
Turns out Run-D.M.C were also interviewed on Old Grey Whistle Test a couple of years earlier during the King Of Rock era. Andy Kershaw is lucky he didn't get sparked out on TV for some of those questions - the epitome of a stereotypical clueless white host demanding black artists make 'protest music'. Maybe if Kershaw had spent less time harassing his ex-wife and more time researching the artists he was interviewing then he'd know that Run-D.M.C had already released Hard Times and Wake Up by that point.
Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Something For The Weekend unfortunately meant Rappers dying every week. Pour out a little beverage of your choice for Shock G and Black Rob. DMX too, though I only like a handful of his songs tbqh.
Other notables: that Gzus Haze album ain't bad but doesn't really have any stand-out songs imho; did anyone need a Real Instruments™ remake of Grand Puba's I Like It?; for my sins, I quite enjoy the CBeebies U.K Drill of Latest Trends by A1 & J1.
Some shit I wasn't expecting to find this morning: a new Cajmere choon based around James Brown's I'm Satisfied which sounds as Dirt McGirt Cajploitation as I'd hoped it would. Crazy visionz, BOOM: Cajmere's alter-ego Green Velvet is the ideal person to bring James Brown's batshit crazy late 70's TV show Future Shock back to life amirite?
Bonus beats:City Girls recently interpolating Percolator got me thinkin' about other Cajmere songs primed for rappers to use. Somebody could REALLY have their wicked way with Let Me Be, though that somebody preferably wouldn't be Kid Cudi, Vic Mensa or Makonnen.
Cajmere - Let Me Be
(From Underground Goodies Vol. 4 EP; 1992)
Walked in and shit got spooky the way this one has grown on me. It's definitely the most P-Lo Type Beat™ of his last four singles, but in a Hella good way. For best results use Walked In as the B-Side to Yours - an Oakland Yin & Yang combination of sweet romancing & dumb dancing which Shock G would be proud of.
FFS is this 2021's new normal where a Rapper dies every Friday? R.I.P to Shock G AKA Humpty Hump AKA Piano Man AKA MC Blowfish AKA The Packet Man AKA Rackadelic AKA the musical genius who did think with his penis. Half the Rap eccentricities Kool Keith brags he invented, Shock G has a more legitimate claim to, and, as I recently realised, Humpty Hump even pioneered Hyphy. It seems like Digital Underground have been shunted into the margins of Rap history but this shouldn't come as a surprise - any Rappers who dare to display a sense of humour get deemed "non lyrical" and end up derided as glorified novelty acts no matter how great their music is.
Homeboy Sandman - Conjugal Visit To The Prison Of The Mind
(From Homeboy Sandman Is The Sandman EP; 2014/YouTube; 2021)
This older Homeboy Sandman song recently got blessed with video outta the blue. Conjugal Visit To The Prison Of The Mind sounds nothing like Waiting On My Girl but my point about the latter song applies here too: when Sandman's music and my taste do converge it's always on some idiosyncratic bugged-out shit which could only come from him. True story: Killah Priest is still pissed that he didn't think of this song title first.
Bonus beats: if I'd heard Conjugal Visit To The Prison Of The Mind back when it first dropped in 2014 then I woulda had that shit up in my playlists next to Kurious' Best In The World. Call me Freedom Williams because I'm just a squirrel tryna get a nut - f*ck Rotten Apple Rap, gimme more Pecan Rican Rap.
Kurious Jorge - Best In The World
(From YouTube; 2014)
Black Rob - Up North (This is What it Is)
(From Game Tested, Streets Approved album; 2011)
This month is starting to feel like a new Final Destination movie where the Grim Reaper is on the hunt for everyone who appeared on 24 Hours To Live. F*ck White Cop, R.I.P Black Rob. Readers from the dayz of wayback will remember that I was a big B.R fan and why wouldn't I be? Rob was one of Harlem's vividest authors with an eye for detail and an ear for good old fashioned songwriting. Alongside Biggie, he was the only Bad Boy Records rapper to parlay Puffy's factory farm system into a couple of good albums; Rob also had an enviable stash of officially unreleased music dating back to 1991 when he recorded his first demo with Dan The Automator - still one of the unlikeliest rapper/producer pairings ever or wot? In and out of prison up until he hit the age of 40, a tiny crumb of solace can be taken from B.R spending his last decade on Earth as a free man who could transform a 2011 graduation party into The Tunnel circa 2000.
PS: the upload of my Black Rob deep cuts compilation is still live. I'd throw it up on Audiomack as a playlist but songs from the Bad Boy catalogue tend to get nuked by the DMCA within hours.
Nowadays my main Friday night ritual is watching BBC4's re-runs of old Top Of The Pops episodes, and two hall of fame Pop-Rap classix were performed on last night's 1990 shows. And I do mean performed because this was the era when Top Of The Pops began insisting that artists played live in a bid to make the show more credible/as a sneaky ploy to stop Rave acts with songs extolling drug use appearing on TV. If you were in high school or up in clubs when Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby and Dream Warriors' My Definition Of A Boombastic Jazz Style first dropped you loved both songs and you either lyin' or you were listening to Timmy Mallet if you claim otherwise.
On the evidence of the Ice Ice Baby clip, Vanilla Ice was a far better live performer than many of the G.O.A.T's including Rakim and Nas. Get yourself a Rapper who can dance and rhyme at the Same Damn Time!™
"Mosh pit, I'm 'bout to put a hole in 'em
Better have on Calvin Kleins 'cause I'ma knock ya out your denims"
CupcaKKe - Mosh Pit
(From Mosh Pit single; 2021)
Then we squashed it, Instagram let me know "watch it", it's time to join Chicago's filthiest rhymer in the mosh pit. Definitely tryna hear more saxobeat in 2021 Rap. Gimme that TOOT TOOT and lemme get that BEEP BEEP.
Major Weight Media - Natural
(From Music Speaks Louder EP; 1997)
Fave song on that recently reissued Major Weight Media EP. Some late 90's earnest everyman Seattle G-Funk with proper luscious bubble bath production. If Woodie's favourite rapper had been Snoop rather than 2Pac then his music probably woulda sounded like this.
Poor etiquette by the label who reissued this EP to not include a digital download with a release that's tape/vinyl only innit? Download codes with both formats should be mandatory, but this is what happens when reissue labels are run by music collectors as opposed to music listeners. Me, I like to jam the shit out of the physical releases I pays my money for, so you can catch me with my boombox ridin' shotgun in the passenger seat just so I can listen to this EP in its intended habitat of a car.
Talking about the Chili Peppers' Give It Away and Metallica's Enter Sandman in this post got me thinkin' about other elite examples of songs I love by artists I loathe. Not so much One Song Wonders in the vein of Jay Electronica's Exhibit C, more detestable artists who somehow managed one Godly fluke in an otherwise ghastly catalogue à la Weak Become Heroes by The Streets. Here's five diamonds from their artist's respective seas of shite - all genres, all gems.
Tricky ft. Martina Topley-Bird - Christiansands
(From Pre-Millennium Tension album; 1996)
You, a square: Tricky's Maxinquaye is the Illmatic of the Hardcore Continuum.
Me, a connoisseur: STFU Grimey Simey junior. Christiansands is the one song where Tricky's Worzel Gummidge whisper wap doesn't sound like a wet fart after a night on the cider. For that we can thank his backing vocalist bird, the subtle use of a Slick Rick sample, and John Woo for giving the song big villain's penthouse energy in Face/Off.
U2 - Desire
(From Rattle & Hum soundtrack; 1988)
You, a square: I hate U2, you hate U2, we all hate U2. Really doe, Brian Eno coaxed a few jams outta them in the 90's.
Me, a connoisseur: I wanna talk to you shorty 'cause you be trippin' sometimes. There was nowt more embarrassing than 90's U2 tryna be all arch and knowing. U2's one legit 10/10 classic came at the arse-end of their Christian cowboy cosplay era when they brought out the Bo Diddley beat for Desire. The result: MTV's answer to Mystic Eyes innit.
Big Sean - Paradise (single version)
(From Paradise single; 2014)
You, a square: I can't stand Big Sean but I can't front on the A$$ remix or I don't F*ck With You.
Me, a connoisseur: You all up in Da Game with the answers missin'. As anyone who went to a Westwood party in 2014 knows, Paradise is the one song where Big Sean's hyperactive valley girl steez worked. In my personal canon of Detroit spazz-Rap, Paradise is the mainstream club banger counterpoint to Pablo Skywalkin's All Facts.
Cliff Richard & The Drifters - Move It
(From Move It single; 1958)
You, a square: I refuse to believe that Tennis-loving Tory nonce Cliff Richard has ever made a good song.
Me, a connoisseur: Me too TBF until I heard Move It. Shit cranks. The Truth like Beanie first LP: Move It would be universally acknowledged as the G.O.A.T British Rock & Roll banger of the 50's if it didn't belong to Clifftiano Richnaldo.
Azealia Banks - Miss Amor
(From Broke With Expensive Taste album; 2014)
You, a square: I wish Azealia Banks would stop being such a troll edgelady and start putting out great music like 212 again.
Me, a connoisseur: LMFAO she's a far better troll than she is a rapper, m8. 212 was just a dry-run for Miss Amor where she did her usual Ya Kid K karaoke over an R&S Records classic and accidentally recorded a lost Lil' Kim song from Diddy's Last Train To Paris album.
"Bitch, I know my mathematics, I just keep countin'
Another sucker in the dirt and he ain't sprountin'
Ain't no playin' in that water, n*gga, they drownin'
They ain't even comin' outside, n*gga, they grounded
Bitch, you know that I'm the shit, you can't piss me off
I just called God, he missed mi call
I get in that pot, my wrist evolve
Never had a pet, I miss mi dog"
Mac J - Gotta Grudge
(From Tricky Situation EP; 2021)
Ah, that's more like it from Mac J. Subaquatic slap, sub-zero zingers, a soupcon of vulnerability, and he's actually spent time composing a chorus. His best song since Sparky or wot?
A buncha unreleased peak-era Casual songs? YAY! A 'vinyl driven release'? NAY!
Limited edition boutique Rap records are for Hypebeast teenagers on Instagram and middle-aged men who'd be stamp collectors or model railway enthusiasts if they'd never discovered Hip-Hop. Wax is a vastly-overrated format anyway - I give 12" singles their props but that's where it stops because vinyl has always been a useless format for Rap albums. Picture me paying money for an album on a format I can't play in a car or I can't even program out all the stupid skits about farts and blowjobs? GTFOH and take your pleas for crowd funding with you, m8.
Someone tell Dante he can keep the song with Everlast, though. I dunno what if it's Plastic Paddy-era Everlast or Wooden Guthrie-era Everlast but ain't nobody wanna hear any incarnation of that guy on a 90's Casual song.
The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu - It's Grim Up North
(From single; 1991)
Was 1991 as good a year for Other Genres™ as it was for Rap? This is the post where I prove that, yes, it was even tough that damn Bryan Adams song from Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves was utterly inescapable for most of the year.
Amazing year for British dance music or wot? Arguably the first year where the U.K overtook the U.S for sheer quantity of quality choonage.
Of course the best song from Massive Attack's first album was the one which didn't feature any Bwistolian whisper stoner wap vocals by 3D or Tricky.
I hate the Red Hot Chili Peppers but Give It Away is a legit 10/10 jam and if it's good enough for Pimp C then it's good enough for me.
I also hate Metallica but Enter Sandman is another legit 10/10 jam and if it's good enough for an entire country squeezed into a field then it's good enough for me.
Seaweed's One Out Of Four was the Generation X teenage skater boi's equivalent of the Brand New Radicals' You Get What You Give.
Madonna's Justify My love was a late 1990 song which didn't fully blossom until 1991.
I only discovered Masters At Work's 69 Steps a couple of weeks ago but it's a killer choon which is way better than the other 1991 MAW track which became a U.K Rave classic when played at 45 RPM.
Since my comments turned into a surprise P-Lo fanclub meeting the other day, here's another of his recent singles I'm all over like Heinz ketchup on fish & chips (other ketchup brands are available!) Much like Yours and Get Me Lit, Boomerang puts the Fun into Function Music and comes as a welcome relief when so much current NorCal Rap is barely functional. Seriously - have you looked at Thizzler or Siccness recently? Both sites are near-endless successions of wannabe Da Boii, Mozzy and Lil' Yase clones whose music has more tickle than slap. Rap's grim up North California right now so these P-Lo singles are a much-needed blapp of Vitamin D.
You, a square: upon initial contact with this trendy new drumless Rap album, I can deduce that it has redefined how Rappers use negative space to find previously-unexplored new pockets.
Me, a connoisseur: M8, City Girls combined Planet Rock with Percolator and the results are pure Miami Bass Poison Quim madness.
City Girls - Twerkulator
(From the internet; 2021)
Apparently this song got officially cock-blocked by sample clearance. Gonna hazard a guess that Bambaataa was asking for too big a bag since the noncing allegations have left him broke and hiding out in Germany. Never forget!
Rippin' up Showtime At The Apollo in 1989, it's Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince performing Jeff Waz On The Beatbox. Alas, the Apollo crowd were not as receptive to Jeff & Will's charms as the Union Square crowd because there's a stark contrast in energy levelz between artists on the stage and audience in the seats.
Alongside The Girlie Had A Mustache, Jeff Waz On The Beatbox is one of the two tape/CD bonus tracks from the shitty third Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince album which bodies everything on the regular LP. Them crackas at Jive™ f*cked things up big Willie style by relegating both songs to bonus status when they shoulda been the third album's two main singles: Jeff Waz On The Beatbox is a far better tribute to Jazzy Jeff's human-Octopus DJ skillz than Jazzy's Groove, while The Girlie Had A Mustache bangs way harder as a Fresh Prince storytelling yarn than the frankly Godawful I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson. Plus, imagine how hilariously #problematic a video for The Girlie Had A Mustache could be by modern day Cancel Culture standards, right?
Related thought: is Packet Man (Worth A Packet Mix) the only good CJ Mackintosh remix ever or wot? Shit sounds like a New Jack Swing track produced by Khayree, which is obviously some wonderful shit to sound like.
"Pause for the cause, mouthwash wouldn't hurt at all
Stop tounge-kissing basketballs"
Lord Sear - Ya Mouth Stink
(From Hello! (The Wake Up Call) 12" single; 2000)
B-Side Wins Again from the Mr. Bongo era. Guru made halitosis a hot skit, Lord Sear made it a hot song. This ain't a joke, this ain't a game no mo', this is peak Reality-Rap for doz who brought their nasty niffs through the door. Maximum musical synergy here because Lord Sear's production on this is as funky as the bad breath depicted in his rhymes. It's all luv to 1997's Alcoholic Vibes but Ya Mouth Stink is the song where Sear's radio persona best translated to wax.
It's a pity Sear didn't drop another single with his old C.M Mob famalam DOOM on the production job.
Now that's what I call Sang-Rap! Yours is the song which has officially earned P-Lo his Shmobby Brackins pseudonym. Same Squad proved that P-Lo could write/produce a million dollar solo choon which should be the biggest song in California, but who'd a thunk he'd conjure up the Bay Area R&Bass equivalent of My Boo eh? HBK Gang Bass All Stars Vol. 1 coming soon?
Bonus beats: last year's Get Me Lit was one of those songs I loved which nobody else on the Rap internet gave a f*ck about. Oh well, there's no accounting for everybody else's bad taste ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
P-Lo - Get Me Lit
(From the internet; 2020/Yours EP; 2021)
Bonus thoughts: I'm genuinely jealous of folk who got to grow up listening to those early Mac Dre EPs; O.P.P. has always been my fave song from Naughty By Nature's first album so I'm happy it's gone from being overplayed to being not played enough; lots of potential honourable mentions here but the two I'm gonna choose are Kraftworks by the UMC's and Easy Star by Poor Righteous Teachers; Tim Dog can, indeed, suck a big fat dick.
Duke Deuce ft. Offset - Gangsta Party
(From Duke Nukem album; 2021)
WHAT DA FUUUUUUUUUUUUUK are Rappers thinkin' by adding Migos guest verses to their songs in 2021? The old adage goes it only takes two people to get a party started, but Duke Deuce woulda been far better off dancing with himself on this one. Gangsta Party is the only song from Duke's latest album which might have as good as Yeh, Crunk Ain't Dead, Bad News and Fat Mac if only he'd have hit Offset with a "not tonight, buddy" at the door. Let's stop the bullshit already, Rap would be a far better place in 2021 if Migos had never existed and Travis Porter had got the beats for Hannah Montana, YRN and Fight Night instead.
