Friday, 19 October 2018

Generic list post: 2018 late pass!

"Ten four! The Martorialist has been spotted dropping a top 10 list of songs he'd slept on until 2018! Officer required! Please bring heat-resistant gear!"


We got De La Soul samples by The Outlaw Blues Band; L.A Chicano Punk by The Brat; a buncha Bay Area shit by Mac Dre, Father Dom, Z-Man, Ghost8800, and Calvin T; an electro-boogie cover of Steely Dan's Peg by Brian Ellis; Nigerian semi-Grime by DJ Consequence & YCEE; and a 70th Street Carlos loosie from the biffin's bridge of 2017.

The Outlaw Blues Band - Deep Gully (1969)
The Brat - High School (1980)
Mac Dre & DJ Cee - Donkey Ain't Free (1989)
Father Dom - Tell Your Baby Mama Leave Me Alone (1997)
Z-Man - White Girls Wit Ass (1999)
Ghost8800 - Sonic Boom (video mix) (2012)
Calvin T - Bottom Bitch (2014)
Brian Ellis - Peg (2015)
DJ Consequence ft. YCEE - In A Benz (2016)
70th Street Carlos - Rich N*gga Bitch (2017)

Monday, 15 October 2018

Is Quavo's terrible solo album Auto-Tune's death rattle?

Let's be honest here, chiefs & chiefettes: there hasn't been a Rap song improved by Auto-Tune in a couple of years now, it's one of the two main reasons why 2018 is the blandest year for mainstream choonz in the genre's history, it strips regional Rap styles of all their geographical twangs into sterile RapCaviar fodder, and when Simon Reynolds is writing thinkpieces celebrating it and illustrating his points with some of the dullest songs Future and Migos have ever recorded then you know it's definitely time to leave That Funny Voice Shit™ in the past innit?

Sleep tight, sweet pitch-corrector... we'll always have the time Jadakiss accidentally called you "Audio-Tunes."

Friday, 12 October 2018

I hope you ordered Dr. Pepper and they give your ass Coke

"I hope you go get them new J's and they turn out to be fake
I hope you win a trip to Africa and choke on a grape
I hope you decide to take a run and go get bit by a snake
I hope your nanna cook spaghetti and they run outta plates"


Jay Lewis ft. Gorilla Mode Dezz & Mista Cain - I Hope
(From t'internet; 2018)



File this under ‘the official Hater's Anthem™ of 2018!’

Keepin' this schadenfreude essence inside us, because it provides us with the proper insight to guide us. I hope some Bork raer vinylz boutique label presses this up on a 12" with Scotlandville.

Wednesday, 10 October 2018

Thank Us Later


Tommy Robinson didn't do porridge just so some fooken' foreigner from Baggedmilkland could ruin that new Donae'o song with a verse of Poundland Drakeisms. Luckily Jack The Snipper was available to remove Fauxbrey's verse and now Chalice can be enjoyed the way Diana™ would've wanted to hear it, God bless her soul.

Donae'o - Chalice (No Canadian Rappers Please, We're British edit)
(From t'internet; 2018)



Can you believe Calvin Harris was behind the boards for this one? His first good production since Acceptable In The 80's or wot?

Sunday, 7 October 2018

Born To Audiomack: the REAL Loyalty Over Love

You see, in this world there's 2 types of people, my friend - doz that slept on Black Sheep's first LP and doz that wept when they heard OMB Peezy's debut LP. Fortunately ya host Captain Save-A-Rapper is here to dry your eyes like a laptop with this 7-song playlist of the EP that OMB Peezy's Loyalty Over Love was probably intended to be in 2017 before Peezy & his label decided to discard all the songs which built his reputation.



Actual factz: it's 2018 and the LP is an outdated drawn-out format which solely exists to give people on Twitter something to have Opinionz about every friday.

Friday, 5 October 2018

R.I.P Ad-Rock!

Much like the Beastie Boys' homeless m8 Johnny Ryall, ya host has a Rockabilly past which nobody knows. Only letting the cat(man) outta the bag today because I've just realised that The Phantom's Love Me #actually dropped in 1960 rather than 1958, thus it coulda/shoulda/woulda been included in my best songs of the '60s list. If proto-Punk exists outside the heads of aged music critics who think that Punk was the be all and end all of Culture™ then Love Me is far more deserving of the term than all those Garage-Rock bands from 1963 who just sound like Dick Dale with a fuzz pedal. You a fool for this one, Pat Boone:

The Phantom - Love Me
(From Love Me 7" single; 1960)



Memphis isn't where he's from, he invented Punk Rock but never met Malcolm McLaren. On the real, though, Yank teenagers in 1960 must have had their domes blown in the comforts of their suburban homes hearing some otherworldly psychotic rockabilly shit like Love Me for the first time.

Coming next on The Martorialist: was The Legendary Stardust Cowboy Rock's first ableist?

Thursday, 4 October 2018

Dog 'n' the wax

"There ain't no limit to this shit, I swear I'm feelin' like P
I fucked so many hoes, I swear I can name 'em from A to Z
I make my bitch sleep on the floor 'cause that choppa lay with me
Yeah, that glock it stay with me, that fake shit ain't okay with me"


70th Street Carlos ft BBG Babyjoe - Do That
(From t'internet; 2018)



Mr. Bang Bang? More like Mr. Triggaman amirite!

This upload seems to be the only one on t'internet which doesn't sound like you're listening to it through an ear clogged with wax. Shout out to Rhys Barber, we in this bitch like a Jobson Horne.

Tuesday, 2 October 2018

Rap songs that aren't on YouTube but really should be # 20

A square: why aren't De La Soul's classic albums streamable on Spotify or Apple?

A connoisseur: why isn't De La Soul's G.O.A.T B-side streamable anywhere, even YouTube?

There are certain De La Soul B-sides which are legit jams but deserve their position as surprise finds on the flip-sides of the anthems. And then there's What's More? which the group really should have saved for De La Soul Is Dead; Lord knows this song deserved a place on that album more than novelty interludes like Kicked Out The House or Who Do U Worship?.

De La Soul - What's More? From Original Soundtrack "Hell On 1st Avenue"
(From Me Myself & I 12" single; 1989)



There's no evidence that a movie by the name of Hell On 1st Avenue exists, let alone that a soundtrack album was recorded for it. Presumably that part of the song's title is one of Prince Paul's concepts: an imaginary soundtrack for a fictional crack-era blaxploitation movie in which the song's "tell me what's more.... " questions are set? Crazy visions, bruv.

Sunday, 30 September 2018

Generic list post: September 2018


Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when this little blog finally reached the top of Google's seach rankings for Will High and Vordul. Peak Martorialist... literally.

Mac Dre ft. Coolio Da Unda Dogg - California Livin' (demo) (1990)
Calvin T - Bottom Bitch (2014)
P-Lo - Same Squad (2018)
Cash Kidd - Zorbas (2018)
70th Street Carlos - Coogi Fit (2018)
Jay Lewis - Scotlandville (2018)
Lil' Wayne ft. Swizz Beatz - Uproar (2018)

Other notables: nice to hear 70th Street Carlos and WNC Whop Bezzy together again on Big B's; I've kept returning to #NeverUseTheInternetAgain by Homeboy Sandman & Edan for a couple of months now even though I'm not sure I even like it as a song or a sentiment; SonnieBo's Fresh Out is what D-Lo's 2018 songs would sound like if D-Lo stopped trying so hard to sound HARD; I was forced to endure Eminem's new album and all I could think about was tiggedy-tiggedy tongue-twistin' Iggy Azalea; X-Raided's first post-prison song is way more fun anyone could have expected (bit weird hearing his voice au naturel not filtered through a prison's phoneline, though, innit?)

Friday, 28 September 2018

Re-Up Gong!



Celebrate Tha Carter V featuring a Special Delivery revamp with the Martorialist best of G. Dep playlist! Early career unreleased & indie joints, prime Bad Boy Records joints, and one last dayz brief-comeback joint.

Did Swizz Beatz change Lil' Wayne's mind about the Special Delivery beat? If not, put a finger in the air for the hearing impaired.

Monday, 24 September 2018

Hi kids, do you like vegemite?

My mate Chinese John* forced me to listen to that new Eminem album yesterday, and it sounds like a fucking episode of DJ Akademiks' Rap gossip show on ComplexTV being rapped by Spazzy Azalea circa THAT live clip:


Which is apt since the only notable thing about the album was when Eminem spitefully gave The Real Slim Sheila™ half-a-bar. Obviously this was a backhanded compliment to the cocky Caubogan because Eminem knows he hasn't made a song which slaps as hard as Fancy since The Marshall Mathers LP.

(*Name changed to protect the secret Eminem fan.)

Saturday, 22 September 2018

However livin' better now, bangers about Coogi sweaters now

"Hatin' ass n*ggas they be listenin' to my song mad
The way I raise that glock up you'd think I was the fuckin' dad"


70th Street Carlos - Coogi Fit
(From t'internet; 2018)



Well, Ed O.G did implore black men to Be A Father To Your Child, didn't he? Anyhoo, if Carlos is gonna drop an Atlantafied-sounding song then at least the ATL influence comes from the parping regality of T.I's ASAP.

Friday, 21 September 2018

Born To Audiomack: 2018 Back!

1. BlocBoy JB - No Chorus Pt 11
2. DaBoii of SOB X RBE - Onna Gang
3. Kendrick Lamar & SOB X RBE - Paramedic
4. 70th Street Carlos - Sprite
5. WNC Ram Bam - G Warfare
6. Dru Down ft. Mistah F.A.B - Streets Is Cold
7. Tay-K - After You
8. Husalah - Bad Young Thang
9. Queen Key ft. Dreezy - Ha
10. Maine Musik - Soulja Slim Flow 2
11. Sada Baby & FMB DZ - Planet Of The Apes
12. P-Lo - Same Squad
13. DJ Premier ft. Casanova - Wut U Said???
14. Nef The Pharoah & 03 Greedo ft. ALLBLACK - Ball Out
15. E-40 & B-Legit ft. Stresmatic - Meet The Dealers
16. Rich Blue - Hands Hands
17. Valee ft. Jeremih - Womp Womp
18. Jay Lewis - Scotlandville
19. Level ft. Mouse On Tha Track & Boosie BadAzz - DFWT (Remix)
20. Edan - Real Bad Promo
21. Cash Kidd - Zorbas
22. City Girls - Period (We Live)
23. Mozzy - Who I Am



It's ya host's essential Rap songs of 2018 playlist, updated with legit jams™ by by P-Lo, DJ Premier & Casanova, Edan, Cash Kidd, Sada Baby & FMB DZ, Jay Lewis, and Nef The Pharaoh & 03 Greedo with ALLBLACK. Still missing some songs which nobody's bothered to upload to Audiomack, but steadily racking up like dirty dishes.

In case the 'mack is playing funny buggers here's a direct link to the playlist.

Wednesday, 19 September 2018

No Bounce To The Ounce


This motherfucker Big Choo is literally taunting me by still regularly posting snippets of that song he first teased in february 2017. New term for rappers who constantly preview songs but never drop 'em: Bop-Teases™.

Monday, 17 September 2018

School of Dumb Knocks


Too Hard For Da Fuckin' Radio but not too Xxxtra Mannish for a school talent show: it's 18 year old Mac Dre kickin' edutainment on stage at Hogan High in 1989. Same cazals as the Young Black Brotha EP sleeve, dipped in white like Casper The Furly Ghost, DJ Cee behind the decks orchestrating the boom-slap, a trio of Crestside wenches shakin' it like Hillside rear view mirrors, a couple of Romper Roomers movin' like Vallejo's answer to Scoob & Scrap, and an auditorium of young cuddies & cuddettes doing the '89 equivalent of Goin' Dumb.

... No wonder the Hogan Gospel Choir ended up as bridesmaids on their own turf.


Bonus beats: the 1990 California Livin' demo.

Sunday, 16 September 2018

Finding Dremo

Mac Dre ft. Coolio Da Unda Dogg - California Livin' (demo)
(From the California Livin' recording sessions; 1990)



As Kool G. Rap said it's a demo, specifically the California Livin' demo. As Kool G. Rap also said it's a shame they switched this one up for the California Livin' EP because the beat on this O.G mix is arguably better than the studio version. No facts, just my opinion.

Previously in Mac Dre demo gems: this and this.

Friday, 14 September 2018

Sorta late pass!

P-Lo - Same Squad
(From PRIME album; 2018)



This one's been out for months, but it's only just burrowed its way into my rotation as this year's Bay Area equivalent of With My Team on some Friends Foreverever type shit. Essentially, it's the sorta song Sage The Gemini woulda been making in 2018 if he hadn't completely abandoned the slap-anthemo sound of his Gas Pedal EP. Bring back Mac Dre's Rope Tug™ dance 4 this 1.

Wednesday, 12 September 2018

Doug Walkin'

Doug E. Fresh - Guess Who?/Keep Rising To The Top
(From The World's Greatest Entertainer album; 1988)



Etc etc in a cashmere sweater. Was Doug E. Fresh the first Rapper to use the Use Your Music Video To Promote Two Songs For The Price Of One trick when he shot a quick clip of himself onstage at The Rooftop doing The Dougie™ dance to Guess Who? and used it for the intro of the Rising To The Top video? Ya host cannae think of any earlier examples. Either way, it's still the only vintage footage of The Dougie™ dance being performing in its natural habitat of DJ Brucie B's roller rink bacchanal.

Monday, 10 September 2018

Wreck-N-Crew Effect

"You ain't gotta shoot him no more, shit, I know that n*gga wacked
I owe a lot of n*ggas money and they knowin' that they jacked"


70th Street Carlos & WNC Whop Bezzy - Big B's
(From YouTube; 2018)


I woke up on Monday morning and you know I need a zap, and what do I find on the internet but a new Wreck-N-Crew blaatt.

Was gonna suggest that a blaatt should be Baton Rouge's official equivalent of a slap, but then I remembered that the Bay already trademarked Blaaaat! a decade ago.

Sunday, 9 September 2018

Big Audiomack Dynamite

Updated my 70th Street Carlos loosies Audiomack playlist with Over Here and Change On Me. Shit is now 10 songs deep so call it Audiomatic.



Alas, that Close Encounters Of The 'Tard Kind Bleachers track turned out to be a better video than song, so there's no place for it here. Still, fair play to Carlos for the least-convincing death in a music video since the tubby bloke from Portishead caught a hot one in the Sour Times promo.

Friday, 7 September 2018

Late pass!

"Daddy, I'll hoe for you
Run up in the sto' for you
Do what I'm supposed to do
My bottom bitch"


Calvin T - Bottom Bitch
(From YouTube; 2014)



File this under ‘shut ya mouths when middle-aged mack rappers is spittin' game!’

Follow the instruction because without the instruction you're headed for self-destruction: get the underrated slap, don't forget to get the underrated slap, and when you get the underrated slap hip me to the underrated slap! Hat tip to Bishop Donal Juan for puttin' me onto this Calvin T tabernacle of funky uncle JackRabbit Bugzy pimp rap par excellance. Pimpin' ain't dead, it just moved to the web foreal foreal.

Before Mello-T there was Calvin T: hat tip to Fred for hippin' me to that 80's Calvin tabernacle. Same soup, just the O.G recipe.

Monday, 3 September 2018

Och aye the Boo, Jay Lewis kilt it

"You ain't never set up shop, you ain't shoot back at the cops
Bitch, you know you ain't no boss, you ain't never take a loss
You ain't even brush yo' teeth, bitch, you know you never floss"


Jay Lewis - Scotlandville
(From t'internet; 2018)



Boyz-N-The-Hoodcore is back for 2018! The G.Y.A.B kid Jay Lewis caught Rab C. Nesbitt's holy ghost and was like "you see me, Jimmy? You see me? I am bringing back the spirit of Elm Street in your memory!"

Sunday, 2 September 2018

Reasons why I love YouTube: In The Trunk edition

"Put that tooth under my pillow and went on to sleep
And at 5 AM in the morning I was laid up with a freak"



Ah, so this is one of Too $hort & Freddy B's infamous pre-75 Girls Records street tapes which they used to slang outta the trunk around the Bay. 1983 Oakland adventures of super XXX-rhymes about mackin' white freaks and the Tooth Fairy over Spyder D's Smerphies Dance.

Bonus beats: this guy really needs to digimitize his Too $hort and Freddy B street tapes.

Thursday, 30 August 2018

Generic list post: August 2018


Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when drama returned.

Mac Dre & DJ Cee - Donkey Ain't Free (1989)
Pete Rock & C.L Smooth - Cool & Calm (1990/2009)
Z-Man - White Girls Wit Ass (1999)
Z-Man - Artistic Violence (1999)
70th Street Carlos - Change On Me (2018)
70th Street Carlos - Over You (2018)
OMB Peezy - Venting Session (2018)
Edan - Real Bad Promo (2018)

Other notables: Boosie's rapping infant daughter is now a teenager who makes the modern equivalent of the music Boosie made during his own teenage years; alas, Nef The Pharaoh's album was too little, too late; hated all of YG's 2018 singles so I didn't even bother with his new album; Jacka's posthumous album with Ampichino is emotional as fuck, but no songs had me rewinding them the way One Sound and and Die Young from Jacka's posthumous album with Berner did.

PS: fave discovery on BigSleep's Genie of The Slap zipfile frenzy was Juice Lee's I'm Juiced.