Saturday, 18 August 2018

Small Tymin'

Nef The Pharaoh really overachieved in 2015, huh? That's the polite way of saying his The Big Chang Theory album is neither good nor bad just lacking any of the spark which made his debut EP + the various loosies surrounding it so good. At least his fellow Sic Wid It signee OMB Peezy's album has one undeniable song; the only real slap Nef has in 2018 is Ball Out from his EP with 03 Greedo which only features 30 seconds of his vocals even though he clearly orchestrated the song.

Neffy got needs wings (no Claire Rayner!) Fly, Nefidelaphante, fly, and tell Mannie Fresh to drop your song with him already.

Wednesday, 15 August 2018

BigSleep presents The Genie Of The Slap: What Would Dre Say?

Claire and her best friend Blair, they square but they come as a pair. Here at The Martorilast, however, we're all about quinarys, which is why our fellow Mac Dre afficionado TheBigSleep came through with 5 zipfiles full of jams from the post-Dre slapmosphere. A quarter of these he found via ya host's turf, and the rest are his own favourites. We're entering your home via Firefox/Safari/IE/Chrome, and you ain't gonna bust a grape in Napa Valley with golf shoes on.






Monday, 13 August 2018

Becky With The Good Arse™

Why couldn't the pirate's wife sit down?
Because someone stole her booty.

Z-Man started from the bottom and set up shop there to write an shambolically lo-fi ode to back-beauty snowbunnies with derrières like 2 planets in a handkerchief. Lord Jamar wouldn't approve of a milk-shark anthem like White Girls Wit Ass, but there's nowt wrong with Z-Man wanting to put a bit of colour into a CAC bird's cheeks if she's looking a bit pale where the sun don't shine. The best song on 4 Hours Of Sleep because it doesn't hit a single bum note.

Z-Man - White Girls Wit Ass
(From 4 Hours Of Sleep album; 1999)

Here at The Martorialist we're definitely on the P.A.W.G Righteous Teachers tip, but we'd also like to send a fat shout out to all the white girls with no Batty like Leeds United post-2004. You know who else deserves a fat shout out? Z-Man for being the first Courtney Love killed Kurt Cobain truther in Rap. Don't get shit twisted like Fieldy's dreadlocks, though - EL DUCE INNOCENT!!!! It woz Michael DeWitt & Jessica Hopper wot done it (allegedly.)

Friday, 10 August 2018

Peez off

"Don't like the cards you was dealt, no givin' 'em back"

OMB Peezy - Venting Session
(From Loyalty Over Love album; 2018)

Grand mission statement to open OMB Peezy's debut album, eh? What a pity the LP takes a Sum 41 nosedive in quality after it. Granted, a couple of Loyalty Over Love's issues are personal gripes (he wants to be the new Kevin Gates; I want him to be the old Boosie with a soupcon of NorCal mobbishness), but the album's more general problems are genuine failings: gratuitous Auto-Tune smoothing out all Peezy's pan-regional rough edges, not enough trademark Sick Wid It slap in the production, and none of his best songs are present. How you gonna call your album Loyalty Over Love and then not even put the title track on there?

"Put a tag on your head like a cow"

OMB Peezy - Loyalty Over Love (Intro)
(From t'internet; 2017)

In hindsight, it was obvious Peezy's album would turn out be a bodge-job from the moment Lay Down and When I Was Down were remixed for their official release on 300 Entertainment. Overkill Peezy? More like awful A&Ring killed Peezy amirite.

Thursday, 9 August 2018

I wear my stunna shades all life

Things that make you go "hmmmmm": Fabo was the only member of D4L who wasn't wearing sunglasses on the cover of their album, yet he's never been seen without his trademark shades ever since.

You know Fabo had next-level 3rd eye vision because he saw spaceships over Bankhead even though he was wearin' sunglasses after dark.

Remember when Fabo tried to bring Romo to the ghetto by doing a song over Yazoo's Situation? Bet Simon Price never played that one at Stay Beautiful.

Tuesday, 7 August 2018


Halleluhwah! Some anonymous soul came through my comments with the MP3 of that new Edan song with the CAN sample that you had to be a streetwear influencer on Instagram to cop the 7" of. I'm So Green no more.

Edan - Real Bad Promo
(From that corny raer 7"; 2018)

Internet democracy - 1, raer vinylz kulcha - 0.

Sunday, 5 August 2018

Cool calm Pete

"The one, the only
Never smokin' any stogie
Funny like Yogie, and in golf I hit a bogey"

Pete Rock & C.L Smooth - Cool & Calm
(From the vaults; 1990/the Basement Demos EP; 2009)

Late pass on this highlight of Pete Rock & C.L Smooth's Basement Demos EP, a record ya host had no idea existed until The Lads© put me onto it earlier this week. Very different tone to All Souled Out here - none of Pete's trademark horn samples, and it's like C.L nicked a page from Grand Puba's notepad when Pubes was ghostwriting for Pete.

"Love all the cuties with big round booties/but if they pass gas I cross my fingers 'cause you're cooties."

Friday, 3 August 2018

Styles By The 'Gram part 3

'Twas a pleasant surprise to hear the Run D.M.C "OH YEAH!" sample on 70th Street Carlos' new single Over With, but real WNC fans are in that water like a straw waitin' on this song and this song:

Close encounters of the 'tard kind.

Thursday, 2 August 2018

Gab Gotcha

Another lo-fi late 80's demo proving Mac Dre had that magical X Factor™ before he ever appeared on wax.
Apparently: Mac Dre & DJ Cee's last demo tape with Studio Ton which The MAC then passed onto Khayree.
Definitely: eight minutes of Dre gabbin' game over Whodini's Friends as Cee cuts up The J.B's The Grunt.
Possibly: year zero for Oakland rappers goin' in over classic Larry Smith productions?

"Cold, bold, 19 years old
With a brain full of game to be sold"

Mac Dre & DJ Cee - Donkey Ain't Free
(From Studio Ton demo sessions; $20 an hour in 1989)

If this shit occasionally sounds like a dummy run for Da Gift To Gab (various lyrics here later resurfaced on there, which explains why Dre said he was 19 years old on that song when he would have been in his early 20s by 1991), then it also doubles as a graveyard for so many people involved in its making: Mac Dre, DJ Cee, The MAC, Larry Smith, and various members of The J.B's. Life's a bitch and Benny Blanco is tryna put a ring on her?

Damn, this shit slaps so cold on my £30 ALDI boombox.

Tuesday, 31 July 2018

Generic list post: July 2018

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when nobody needed the return of that rapist Yung Gleesh.

Mac Dre - Just Listen (demo) (1989)
70th Street Carlos - Rich N*gga Bitch (2017)
70th Street Carlos - Fat Girl (2018)
DJ Premier ft. Casanova - Wut U Said??? (2018)
Valee - Allat (2018)
Sada Baby & FMB DZ - Planet Of The Apes (2018)
Kreayshawn & KJ-$ - Not My Job (Punk Cover) (2018)

Other notables: Yang Style gotta be the best song Chippass has dropped since the glory days of NhT Boyz (God bless DJ Fresh!); I'd probably dig that new Edan song if you didn't have to be in a secret club of ageing streetwear scenesters to hear it in full; not that into WNC Ram Bam & 70th Streer Carlos' Rod Play meself, but I'm happy to see ppl enjoying WNC music; Babyloaf's Yo' Bitch Mobbin' is noteworthy for being the birth of Hyphy Wap; Dres from Black Sheep's FUGITUP had the potential to be as good as his his Top Shelf 8/8/88 song if there wasn't an unfortunate air of Wicked22ness to it; it's cool that someone rhymed over Trel Itz A Hit's instrumental remake of Beelow's I'm A Beast, but I'd rather just listen to the original meself.

Sunday, 29 July 2018

JD's Gafflin' back!

"I got Skube wit' me and it's Mob, no Ice Cube wit' me
Got your boo wit' me, she sucked me off, I gave her two-fifty
Can't be too picky, 100 blues, this shit too sticky
No new n*ggas around me, that shit too iffy"

Sada Baby & FMB DZ - Planet Of The Apes
(From YouTube; 2018)

File this under ‘2018 Rap songs with references to Da Lench Mob.’

Ya host's favourite type of modern Detroit street Rap tends to be the stuff which doesn't necessarily sound like yer standard modern Detroit street Rap, thus this new Sada Baby & FMB DZ track is more mah spot than Sada Baby's big song of 2018 or any single FMB DZ has dropped since Friday.

This also explains why ya host would rather watch Ken Kaniff get gangbanged by D12 than ever sit through an album by any member of BandGang. No shotz @ the bennies or the Lonnies - I just don't think of you like that, lads.

Friday, 27 July 2018

Do The Chris

"I'm the type to watch ya house if you don't watch ya mouth"

DJ Premier ft. Casanova - Wut U Said???
(From t'internet; 2018)

File this under ‘songs ya host really wasn't expecting to dig.’

It's Super Producer Pree & Casanova Thug! (Geddit?) Uncle Murda isn't scheduled to release another good track until next year so this will do very nicely as 2018's slab of olde-worlde Brooklyn nastiness. Like Paul Joseph Watson nearly said, the Conservative Rap Coalition is the new counterculture.

Tryna remember the last Primo production I liked and it was that Game song with Master P lolz.

Thursday, 26 July 2018

Wanted dead or alive: an MP3 of Real Bad Promo by Edan

Edan Real Bad Man Season 1 Bootleg 7” - White label. #VeryRare Given to family and friends to celebrate the first drop of the line @real_bad_man This KrautRock inspired jam classic features Edan the Humble Mag akak @edanexists one of the funkiest cats around and a uber producer/ rapper who just destroys the Can classic Vitamin C.. With his crazy chop of the infamous break coupled with some God MC influenced rhyming madness this slice of nice goes hard. love me some Edan the boys nasty with it. The B side is equally bananas as the Tokyo-based Dancehall wizards BIM ONE productions recruit vocalist Mr. Williamz for “Sorcerer”, which samples Tangerine Dream’s synth-heavy theme song from the 1977 cult film SORCERER. This pressing is beyond limited theres only 300 in existence! Done in conjunction with my man @adam208 and his killer new line @real_bad_man there is No digital release of this either u got blessed or you got less. #SuperDiscoBreakin #VeryRare #SaluteEdan #SaluteCan

A post shared by Dante Ross (@danteross) on

Spotted on Dante Ross' Instagram, a new Edan song over CAN's Vitamin C. This is only available on some corny purposely-raer promo 7" that's already sold out because it was given away free to the ageing streetwear mafia, and there's no digital release planned. Song sounds like a bangeur, so who's got the 7" and is prepared to rip it?

Quite fond of Edan as a singles artiste here at The Martorialist: the Sprain Your Tapedeck EP (especially Run That Shit), the Emcees Smoke Crack (remix)/I'll Come Running Back To You 12", and the Funky Rhyming 7". Plus, ya host will always have a soft spot for Edan since his Fast Rap mix CD first put me onto Percee P & Ekim's Lung Collapsing Lyrics.

Tuesday, 24 July 2018

Kreayshawn's Punk cover of Not My Job deserves its own post

Kreayshawn & KJ-$ - Not My Job (Punk Cover)
(From Soundcloud; 2018)

1. Best song Kreayshawn's been involved in since Pu$$y Magnet or wot?

2. You wait years for a decent Mac Dre tribute song and then this and Husalah's Bad Young Thing turn up within the space of a couple of months.

3. Saw someone compare this to Nausea, which is unfair because it bodies anything those Commie crusties ever recorded.

3. This is more akin to Kreayshawn fronting a Born Again$t reunion because Sam McPheeters was too busy writing for Noisey that day.

5. The main reason why this is the best Rock song of the 2010's thus far is that, unlike every other Rock song released this decade, it doesn't have terrible lyrics.

Saturday, 21 July 2018

Born to Audiomack: 2018 jams

It's about that time to make sense of 2018 Rap thus far, so here's a playlist of ya host's favourite songs of the past 7 months. Granted, I'm limited to what's already on Audiomack/what I can be bothered to upload to Audiomack, but at least 95% of my 2018 essentials are included here. One song per artist, natch.

1 BlocBoy JB - No Chorus Pt 11
2. DaBoii of SOB X RBE - Onna Gang
3. Kendrick Lamar & SOB X RBE - Paramedic
4. 70th Street Carlos - Wreck
5. WNC Ram Bam - G Warfare
6. Dru Down ft. Mistah F.A.B - Streets Is Cold
7. Tay-K - After You
8. Husalah - Bad Young Thang
9. Queen Key ft. Dreezy - Ha
10. Maine Musik - Soulja Slim Flow 2
11. Sada Baby & FMB DZ - Planet Of The Apes
12. DJ Premier ft. Casanova - Wut U Said???
13. E-40 & B-Legit ft. Stresmatic - Meet The Dealers
14. Rich Blue - Hands Hands
15. Valee ft. Jeremih - Womp Womp
16. Level ft. Mouse On Tha Track & Boosie BadAzz - DFWT (Remix)
17. City Girls - Period (We Live)
18. Mozzy - Who I Am

Wednesday, 18 July 2018

Just sayin', bruv # 16

The intro of Sum 41's Fat Lip video is a more credible attempt at Canadian Rap than anything ever recorded by Drake.

Shoreline Mafia are just Brockhampton if they'd met in the NoJumper YouTube comments rather than on the KanyeToThe message board.

New Yorkers under the age of 25 should be banned from making Rap music in 2018.

Apart from a handful of exceptions, New Yorkers over the age of 25 should also be banned from making Rap music in 2018.

Husalah is the ONLY American in the Rap industry who didn't make a complete tit of himself when attempting to comment on "Soccer" during the 2018 World Cup.

When the history books are written, Chance The Rapper will solely be remembered as the annoying twat who ruined Justin Bieber's Confident.

The only good songs to come out on G.O.O.D Music this summer are both by Valee.

What's Hell? Hell is reading Dart Adams droning on and on about video game release dates in his Tweets.

Monday, 16 July 2018

Shameless Re-Up Gong!

It was all good just a week ago and now it's even better. Updated my 70th Street Carlos loosies playlist with a song I'd previously missed - shit's called Rich N*gga Bitch and it's kinda like I Got A Story To Tell on a Baton Rouge budget, as produced by Mannie Fresh.

The petition to get FrankieThaLuckyDog to review some WNC music starts here! ~~~> ________

Sunday, 15 July 2018

Rich Blue ate my hamster

"I'm a Soviet, I don't give a fuck
In the Soviets we drink vodka, brah"

Sublime marriage of music and moving image or wot? This upcoming song by the Hands Hands guy is a new entry in the Martorialist canon of potentially-killer songs from the past few years which only exist in snippet form currently. The others?

Foxx & Boosie - Untitled (2015)
Ezale - Cold Game Chronicles (2016)
Mannie Fresh & Nef The Pharoah - Untitled (2017)
Ya Boy Big Choo - Hustla (Remix) (2017)
70th Street Carlos - On Me (2018)

BTW, that's yer allotment from Si Mane Price. New name: Kelvin Mack10zie.

Friday, 13 July 2018


Regrets, I've had a few, but at least I've never wasted my precious time on Earth listening to Drake albums like some of youz lot lol. PSA, Tamia's comeback single is still 2018's only good song outta Canada, and that shit now has a video:

Tamia - Leave It Smokin'
(From YouTube; 2018)

From Drake and Celine Dion to Michael Bublé and Mindbender Futurama, Canadians have always been varying shades of horrific when making music about love/lust. Thus, it's a major miracle that Tamia can drop a Legit Bedroom Jam 4 Ladies & Gentlemen Alike™ 20 years after So Into You.

Monday, 9 July 2018

Born To Audiomack: 2018 70th Street Carlos joints playlist

70th Street Carlos AKA Boosie FatAzz AKA Spaz Dillenger AKA Chubb Glock AKA Gumby Knuckles AKA Godfather Dumb AKA Sauce Water. Someone's gotta wrap the best of his 2018 loosies up like a mummy, so it might as well be me. One of the few new rappers whose style is totally his own - all fact, not an imho.

Thursday, 5 July 2018

Mac Dre Day

Mac Dre - Just Listen (demo)
(From Khayree's vaults; 1989)

Celebrate what would have been Mac Dre's 48th birthday today with this unreleased late 80's demo intro over Fred Wesley & The J.B's Same Beat. Khayree really shoulda put a CDQ version of this on his first The Musical Life Of Mac Dre compilation.

Wednesday, 4 July 2018

Reasons why I love YouTube part whatever

File this under ‘fam-made videos for songs which never had videos but really should have’ and ‘rap songs which mention Prince Naseem.’ Dunno why Nana Be Like wasn't a single because Foxy performed it live on Queen Latifah's TV show and it's easily the best song on the Broken Silence album.

Kinda cute that Foxy added a bunch of patois to the O.G 1999 mixtape version of Nana Be Like after she started dating Spragga Benz in 2000. You haven't really caught feelings for your boo until you start adopting some of her/his regional dialect innit/int'it.

Saturday, 30 June 2018

Generic list post: June 2018

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when PJW pretended to be into football. Pull the other one, Paul.

Jimmy Wopo - Elm Street 2 (2017)
70th Street Carlos - Big Knots (2018)
WNC Ram Bam - G Warfare (2018)
Dru Down ft. Mistah F.A.B - Streets Is Cold (2018)
Queen Key ft. Dreezy - Ha (2018)

Other notables: Dancing Man was the only song I was kinda feelin' on that new J Hus EP; wanted to like Rico Nasty's Rage but I just can't get with Slipknotcore Rap.