Friday, 19 April 2019

Re-Up Gong: the best of A-Mafia Audiomack playlist

Well, this explains why Uptown's-Mr-Outta-Town A-Mafia hasn't dropped any new songs in the last 4 years - he's been too busy movin' mountains of beak in the outskirt cities of New York state. Doesn't seem likely we'll ever get any new music from the G.O.A.T Harlem henchman rapper again, so here's a re-up of my best of A-Mafia Audiomack playlist. 24 tracks dating back to the Purple City mixtapes in 2003 right up to his last song in 2015.

Wednesday, 17 April 2019

Generic list post: 10 from 2019

Shoes up, who's down for my top ten Rap tunes of 2019 so far? It's hard out here for ya host when I'm hearing casual Drakeisms creeping into all manner of Rap, and even harder when so much current Rap production doesn't fulfill its basic requirement of knocking. Thus, I ain't even exaggerating when I say that I'm treating every song in this list as a minor-miracle.

BlocBoy JB - House Party
Positive K & MC Lyte - I'm Still Not Havin' It
AZ - It's Time
Eat Em & Spitta - Side N*gga
DaBaby - Walker Texas Ranger
TREE - Backflip
Queen Key - My Way
Sada Baby & FMB DZ - Ape Drip
Quelle Chris - Obamacare
Rich Blue - Kikan

Saturday, 13 April 2019

B.I.G >>>>>> R.S.D

Notorious B.I.G - Me & My Bitch (Computer Love remix)
(From the internet; 2011)

There was never a studio version of Biggie's live performance of Me & My Bitch over Computer Love from The Show so some intrepid soul put his own bedroom blend-job together. I shoulda pressed this up on 12" for 2019 Record Store Day today, advertised it as an unreleased Bad Boy remix from 1995, sold the 12"s for £60 a pop, and watched that boutique vinylz collector sucka cash come rollin' in.

MP3 here if anyone wants it.

Tuesday, 9 April 2019

Late pass! Dance to the Ski-Beatz

"Yeah, I stole the money that ya grandmother sent ya
She tried to get it back, I punched in her dentures"

Bizzie Boyz - Crazy Hard!
(From the vaults; 1988/Rare & Unreleased '87 - '89 EP; 2011)

Now, this is a proper banger - the My Rhyme Ain't Done of North Carolina. Say what, you don't believe me? Yo, Scout's honour. Makes zero sense that Crazy Hard! and Brainstorm got shelved back in 1988 because they're probably the best songs the Bizzie Boyz ever recorded. Presumably the M.C Willski-era Ski of Crazy Hard was just too ig'nant for Payroll Records in '88?

"Yeah I know ya brother, I called him a punk
Had a gun to my head and I was still talkin' junk"

Saturday, 6 April 2019

Thursday, 4 April 2019

In the Soviets we drink vodka, brah!

"I'll slam a n*gga on his fuckin' neck
Give him a heart attack in his fuckin' back"

Rich Blue - Kikan
(From Out The Blue mixtape; 2019)

Maniacal Detroit stream-of-consciousness shit by the Hands Hands guy. Been waitin' on this song for the proverbial hot minute and now it's here I can't decide if it's gas or ass - maybe both? (In the Soviets, song waits for you, brah!) I guess you've gotta take the bona fide quotables with the brain-queefs.

Tuesday, 2 April 2019

Lone bloggas who candidly flip fly prose single handedly with one eye closed (no Byron Crawford)


MF DOOM ft. Kurious - ?
(From Operation Doomsday album; 1999)

Ayo yo, you can't stand right here, April 20th is gonna be ya man's worst nightmare. Why? Because the internet is gonna be awash with Operation Doomsday 20th anniversary articles by those corny Indie fux who hold the tragic opinion that Madvillainy is DOOM's masterpiece. Obviously it's now or never like Tela, and I ain't tryna suck the life outta your P4K pitch idea like Bauhaus' muse Bela, but please refrain from writing anything if you've ever worn a straw hat like Dana Dane's Cinderfella.

Not that the obscurist Rap contrarians who prefer the sloppy O.G 12" mixes of Hey!, Go With The Flow et al to the perfecto Operation Doomsday re-recordings aren't equally annoying as #Madvillianhive, mind. Shakedowns, lockdowns, and wet dreams of Mrs Brown for the lot of you.

PS: no straw hats ever unless you were Mac Dre.

Sunday, 31 March 2019

Generic list post: March 2019

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Scott Walker died before he could drop his song with 70th Street Carlos. Really doe, a sincere R.I.P to Ranking Roger from The Beat.

Jakki Tha Motamouth ft. Copywrite - Widespread (2000)
Max B - Take A Flick (CDQ) (2007/2015)
AzChike - Big Chop (2018)
BlocBoy JB - House Party (2019)
TREE - Backflip (2019)
Sada Baby & FMB DZ - Ape Drip (2019)

Other notables: thank fuck someone fixed the low-end problems on Queen Key's Ratchett; just getting round to the new Quelle Chris album and Obamacare seems like the obvious highlight; this Peezy song is a good example of Detroit beatjack-Rap; if nothing else, there's now a 2019 Rap song which samples the Twilight Zone theme; heartwarming to hear Young Bleed & Max Minelli together again; kinda prefer the Mouse On Tha Track instrumental of this AK Da Ace & 70th Street Carlos song.

Friday, 29 March 2019

Who shot Phats & Small? If we don't get 'em they gon' get us all

It's bigger than HIP HOP HIP HOP today. As Canibus nearly once said, Stardust's Music Sounds Better With You was the most overrated song I've ever heard in my life because the greatest Filter-House choon of all time dropped on March 29th 1999:

Phats & Small ft. Vanessa Feltz's future husband - Turn Around
(From Now Phats What I Small Music album; 1999)

Officially 20 years old today this tune. If FACT Mag doesn't drop an oral history of Turn Around anniversary article in the next 24 hours then they're the police.. actual FACT! Remember dem dayz when Britain could waltz right into continental Europe and snatch a sub-genre from right under Johnny Foreigner's nose? Turn Around is Nigel Farage's utopian Brexit in audio form innit.

Thursday, 28 March 2019

Shout out to Karate Joe

TREE - Backflip
(From We Grown Now album; 2019)

Have a load of Hong Kong TREEey here on my favourite sing-sang song by him in yonks. I got crazy visions for the video, BOOM: it's TREE sittin' in a rocking chair on a porch while The Wongs from The Wanderers and the Ruff Ryders roster circa 2000 indulge in some Kung Fu fighting on TREE's lawn. Obviously the video would be the trailer for a spin-off movie called Enter The Drag-On.

Tuesday, 26 March 2019

Born To Audiomack: 2019 late pass! (so far)

If you know me then you'll already know that I'm constantly dipping back into the past like Rodney in Goodnight Sweetheart. Thus, here's a playlist of my favourite new-to-me discoveries of 2019 so far. Has somebody farted? No, this playlist is just THE shit.

Bizzie Boyz - Brainstorm [1988/2011]
Filthy Phil - Deadgiveaway [1992]
Jakki Tha Motamouth ft. Copywrite - Widespread [2000]
Dubee & Mac Dre - You Ain't My Dog [2001]
Cam'Ron ft. Ted Dibiase & Frank Muller - Oh Boy (Philly Remix) [2002]
Husalah - Inshallah (In God's Will) [2003]
Max B - Take A Flick (CDQ) [2007/2015]
Pablo Skywalkin - No Big Homie [2017]
AzChike - Big Chop [2018]
Eat Em & Spitta - Side N*gga [2018]

Thursday, 21 March 2019

Crap De Rap Show

In lieu of the news that only 2 members of Stetsasonic turned up to their live show at the Jazz Cafe in London last night (and neither of them were Daddy-O), here's some hypothetical nightmare live Rap shows which probably will happen one day because most rappers are lazy scam-artists.

Onyx.. but it's just a hologram of Big DS (R.I.P, natch.)

Eric B. & Rakim.. but it's just Eric B with Rakim-soundalike The Wizard Of Rap, and the show is a front-to-back performance of Eric's shitty R&B solo album.

Capone-N-Noreaga.. but it's actually their weed carriers Musaliny-N-Maze performing their C-grade 2001 Neptunes single 10 times in a row.

Brand Nubian.. but only Lord Jamar turns up and he's got DJ Vlad with him instead of DJ Alamo. After Jamar's performed Dance To My Ministry he spends the rest of the show complaining to Vlad about teh gays and Young Thug's skirt.

3rd Bass.. but it's MC Serch with Michael Rappaport.

MF DOOM.. but it's actually Dart Adams in a DOOM mask and he spends the entire duration of the show ranting about how he's the only person alive who knows the correct U.S release dates for 80's video games.

Slaughterhouse.. but you thought it was a Royca Da 5'9 solo show, so now you have to watch Joe fucking Budden & the other 2 useless bums perform live because you've paid £18 and you at least wanna hear Royce play Boom.

Wednesday, 20 March 2019

The Fixxers 2K19

"These bitches ain't got no finesse in they bones, I been the best in my zone"

Queen Key - Ratchett
(From Eat My Pussy Again album; 2019)

Round of applause for Queen Key & ChaseTheMoney. Fuck what you heard previously, they've fixed the distorted bass on this joint so it's now possible to bump that shit without causing cracks in your nearest windows.

Thursday, 14 March 2019

Champagne On The Bloc

BlocBoy JB - House Party
(From YouTube; 2019)

Some folks say BlocBoy JB looks like a BTEC Paul Pogba, here at The Martorialist we say BlocBoy JB's new single has a beat like Paul PogBLAP! While the man from Memphis' chapstick-flappin' here is cool enough, it's the FreshDuzIt backing-track that taxis House Party for takeoff.

Wednesday, 13 March 2019

Ice like T, hot like Hell

Max B - Take A Flick (CDQ version)
(From the ByrdGang era; 2007)

Take a picture, it'll last almost as long as it's taken me to snag the lesser-heard properly mastered CDQ version of Max B's Take A Flick, a ByrdGang-era Biggavelz song which didn't leak until 2013. In an ideal world this shit woulda been the B-side to Why You Do That, and both songs back-to-back on the same single woulda been New York's last great double-sided Rap 12".

24 volumes of Max's Library Of A Legend and they somehow missed Take A Flick? Owww the humanity.

Tuesday, 12 March 2019

Reasons why I love YouTube part whatever

"Aye, big stick on me
Big money cut his tongue, put a lick on him
Speak my name, bring the flame, put a flick on him
Trap star, that's a bar, put a brick on him"

AzChike - Big Chop
(From the internet; 2018/YouTube; 2019)

2019 fanmade video for a 2018 track which doesn't have an official video but really should do. Some ersatz-Bay slap from L.A which keeps shit effortlessly simple.

Sunday, 10 March 2019

For Doz Who Homaged?

"Sucker M.C with pockets so empty
Don't you know that a battle doesn't tempt me?
You talk smack but you & I know
You're on the first row at a Bizzie Boyz show"

Bizzie Boyz - For Those Who Slept
(From Droppin' It album; 1990)

Was it some sort of arch in-joke that Black Sheep recorded a song called For Doz That Slept when their first album sounds it was lowkey inspired by the Bizzie Boyz' For Those Who Slept? Probably accidental, yet weirdly coincidental.

The Bizzie Boyz era of Ski Beatz' career seems to be almost entirely forgotten nowadays despite the fact he was producing/rhyming solo on legit jams™ as far back as 1987. Maybe it's a form of punishment for For Doz Who Dabbled In Hip House?

Friday, 8 March 2019

Generic list post: For The Birds, By The Birds

We don't know much about chemistry here at The Martorialist, but we're not half bad on biology, tbf. Celebrate the lasses this #InternationalWomensDay with a list of ya host's favourite Rap songs of the 2010's by da ladeez.

Lady - Pussy (2011)
Kreayshawn - Gucci Gucci (2011)
Katie Got Bandz - I Need A Hitta (video version) (2011)
Sasha Go Hard - Why They Mad (2012)
Diamond ft. Juicy J & Jackie Chain - At The Bar (2012)
Junglepussy - Bling Bling (2014)
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX - Fancy (2014)
Heaven ft. Lil' Chris - Don't Shoot (2014)
Honey Cocaine - Honeydick (2015)
Tink - Aquafina (2016)
Dreezy ft. Jeremih - Body (2016)
Team Toon ft. Ya Boy Big Choo - My Hot Girl (2016)
Queen Key - My Way (2017)
City Girls - Period (We Live) (2018)
Rico Nasty - Smack A Bitch (2018)
Jean Grae & Quelle Chris - My Contribution To This Scam (2018)
Doja Cat - Go To Town (2018)

Let's not let da ladeez off too lightly, mind. In the interests of equal opportunity #content it's only fair to song shame the worst this decade of Female Rap™ has shat out. Does it really get any worse than these?

Kitty Pryde - Okay Cupid (2012)
Chippy Nonstop - Money Dance (2012)
Lauryn Hill - Neurotic Society (2013)
Nicki Minaj ft. Chris Brown, Drake & Lil' Wayne - Only (2014)
Cardi B - Bodak Yellow (2017)
Azealia Banks - Anna Wintour (2018)

Tuesday, 5 March 2019

Leg over like Mike

A guide on how to navigate hearing Michael Jackson's music in public post-Leaving Neverland noncetroversy. Read on to find out if you can still do the Thriller zombie dance at your local pub's next Halloween party without fear of getting bottled.

* P.Y.T aside, anything up to Thriller is socially acceptable because Pop's #Problematic Fave™ probably wasn't fiddling kids at that point. Thus, you can still dance to owt from Off The Wall, and it's still okay to shake a leg to all the Jackson 5's choonz (except for ABC because it's now the most played-out bait DJ tune of all time.)

* Any of the good songs from Bad can still be enjoyed within the privacy of your own home, but you're on shaky ground enjoying them in public because the (Jonathan) King Of Pop™ was clearly a serial pederast by 1987. Note: if you do still bump anything from Bad for your own pleasure this means you can no longer watch The Lost Boys in good conscience because Jackson had already bummed Corey Feldman and Corey Haim by that point.

* Anything after Bad is 100% No Play Zone territory. Partially because Mickey Mars Bar Jackson was in raging nonce-mode by that point, but mainly because his post-80s music was utter shite. I'm not saying bad taste in music is a crime on a par with paedophilia, but anyone who actually enjoys Earth Song or We Are Not Alone probably deserves chemical castration.

Saturday, 2 March 2019

The Rap career don't end if ya eyes don't close

Fuck the world, what happened to Ezale? He ain't released any new music since 2016, ain't posted on Twitter since 2017, and ain't updated his Instagram since 2018. Is the Pol Pot of pillpopping on an extended holiday in Cambodia? Or did he ditch the drugs and join an Orange County straight edge cult? Or has he simply bored of #BringingThisTownShitBack? Hope it ain't the third option because there are still classic Larry Smith instrumentals he could potentially reanimate.

Plus, it'd be tragic if Ezale exits Rap stage left pursued by California Bear without recording a slap called Pol Potna.

Thursday, 28 February 2019

Generic list post: February 2019

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when K-Rino dropped a B.o.B's Earth view of T.I. Vs T.I.P.

Filthy Phil - Deadgiveaway (1992)
Husalah - Inshallah (In God's Will) (2003)
K-Rino ft. Poiz'N - Don't Know Why (2004)
Positive K & MC Lyte - I'm Still Not Havin' It (2019)

Other notables: Ain't You was the only significant track for me on WNC Ram Bam's new mixtape; the Doja Cat & Rico Nasty song could have been a legit jam if it wasn't for that same played-out drumkit which refuses to fade into history; fair play to Deniro Farrar's Stuck For The Bag for adding an air of genuine menace to some generic Trap shit; the BeatKing & Fabo song coulda been a legit jam if Fabo hadn't rhymed about his dick for the duration of his verse (rappers should only be allowed to rhyme about their dicks more than once a verse if they do so via innuendo and/or for comedic purposes, imho.)

Sunday, 24 February 2019

The Price Is Trife

Speakin' of NorCal rappers on the run recording songs, el hombre tremendo BigSleep just put ya host onto this obscure 1992 cassette EP by Filthy Phil called The Manhunt. Story goes Phil was a Richmond turf buccaneer known for popularising the term Player Haters on wax who shot a cop during a traffic violation to avoid going back to jail, went on the run from the FBI, was featured on the TV show America's Most Wanted, and recorded an EP whilst he was duckin' the coppers using samples from his TV appearance for the EP's intro.

So far so fascinating for mob music mavens. But does the EP live up to the legend? In the case of Phil's gameshow-concept song Deadgiveaway, YES! Essentially, it's The $20 AK-47 Pyramid over some dense gangsta-fonk which sounds like a lost Bomb Squad noggin knocker for Ice Cube.

Filthy Phil - Deadgiveaway
(From The Manhunt EP; 1992)

Cool C shoulda hired Filthy Phil's lawyer because Phil was back on home soil and rapping again by 1999. He even dropped a 2002 CD that's somehow even rarer than his two 90s EPs.

Friday, 22 February 2019

Generic list post: favourites for the flicks

Boy, you've got me twisted like a robe if you think I'd ever read Pitchfork's 50 Best Movie Scores listicle. But please believe I'm gonna have my wicked way with the concept in the name of #content. The 50 G.O.A.T songs recorded for movie soundtracks as according to ya host Roger QBert. No order of preference, but all genres, all eras, all choonz.

1. Eric B. & Rakim - Juice (Know The Ledge) (1991)
2. Big Daddy Kane - Nuff Respect (1991)
3. Robert Tepper - No Easy Way Out (1985)
4. Curtis Mayfield - Pusherman (1972)
5. Cat Stevens - But I Might Die Tonight (Deep End version) (1970)
6. Lady Of Rage - Afro Puffs (1994)
7. Snoop Doggy Dogg - Murder Was The Case (remix) (1994)
8. Tha Dogg Pound - What Would U Do? (1994)
9. Dr. Dre & Ice Cube - Natural Born Killaz (1994)
10. Gene Pitney - The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)
11. Ronnie Hazelhurst - Are You Being Served? (movie version) (1977)
11. UGK - Pocket Full Of Stones (Pimp C remix) (1993)
12. MC Eiht - Streiht Up Menace (1993)
13. Lalo Schifrin - Theme From Enter The Dragon (1973)
14. Grand Puba - Fat Rat (1991)
15. Roy Ayers - King George (1973)
16. OutKast - Benz Or Beamer (1995)
17. Mystikal & OutKast - Neck Uv Da Woodz (1999)
18. Mark Vieha - Way To Go (1985)
19. Ennio Morricone - Man With A Harmonica (1968)
20. Slick Rick - I Sparkle (1999)
21. Henry Mancini - The Pink Panther (Theme) (1963)
22. Tim Capello - I Still Believe (1987)
23. Public Enemy - Fight The Power (1989)
24. L7 - Gas Chamber (1994)
25. 2Pac - Never Had A Friend Like Me (1997)
26. Shirley Bassey & John Barry - Goldfinger (Theme) (1964)
27. John Carpenter & Alan Howarth - Chase Across The 69th Street Bridge (1981)
30. The Crooklyn Dodgers - Crooklyn (1994)
31. James Brown - The Boss (1973)
32. State Property ft. Dirt McGirt - When You Hear That (2003)
33. Bernard Herrmann - Taxi Driver (Theme) (1976)
34. Prince & The Revolution - Let's Go Crazy (1984)
35. Kool G. Rap ft. RZA - Cakes (1999)
36. Brad Fiedel - Dream Window (1985)
37. Biggie Smalls - Party & Bullshit (1993)
38. The Plugz - Reel Ten (1984)
39. DJ Grand Wizard Theodore & Kevie Kev Rockwell - Gangbusters (1983)
40. Marvin Gaye - Trouble Man (1972)
41. Ice-T - Colors (1988)
42. Isaac Hayes - Hung Up On My Baby (1974)
43. David Lynch & Angelo Badalamenti - The Pink Room (1992)
44. Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth - One In A Million (1993)
45. Joe Walsh - In The City (1979)
46. John Lurie - Promedade Du Maquereau (1986)
47. Madonna - Into The Groove (1985)
48. Johnny Pate - Shaft In Africa (1973)
49. 50 Cent ft. Young Buck - I'll Whip Your Head Boy (2005)
50. U2 - Desire (1988)

(I wouldn't pass water on Bono if he were on fire, but I will pass judgement on U2's Desire from the Rattle & Hum OST and admit it's a legit 10/10 jam.)

Tuesday, 19 February 2019

Song 4 H >>> Song 4 U

"This is a tape, but at the same time it's ill
They said this is your fate, you'll be a Husalah that's real
Look at my face, I do give women the chills
These n*ggas they see I'm pretty, they think they know what the deal
Go ahead, get shot and buried in a hill
This is very very real, I suggest you stay very still'"

Husalah - Inshallah (In God's Will)
(From Coco County - The Album compilation; 2003)

Late pass! Feelin' tardy right now because I never knew Cutthoat Committee's Song 4 U was an obscure Husalah solo song originally before RobLo resold the beat to Mac Dre. Vintage spiritual criminal on-the-run Husalah over RobLo's holy ghost of Joni Mitchell chop-suey.

Arf @ the Coco County compilation also featuring a song by Husalah's soon-to-be bête cracker.