Saturday 30 April 2016

She's the big bad wolf, it's a full moon y'all

Spin the batty
Spin the f**kin' batty if you the reason that they wineing on a fire engine, baby
Spin the batty, truth or bare

Spice - Sight & Wine
(From YouTube; 2016)

Will Spice ever get any media buzz or love?
Damn, gal - you're way too fine for a local blog
Ignoring the world's current Greatest Female Artiste™ should be a f**kin' crime
Pretending Rihanna & Drake's fake-Dancehall song bangs should be a f**kin' crime
So back to what I was sayin'
I added Sight & Wine and Born Wid It to my Spice playlist
Sometimes it's about the best, not the deepest
This could be you & Spice but you sleepin'

Friday 29 April 2016

Generic list post: April 2016

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Brotha Lynch Hung admitted he'd also eat the intestines like groceries. Why did Big Lurch cross the road? Because he just passed his girlfriend

Egyptian Lover - Kinky Nation (Kingdom Kum) (1986/2016 re-edit)
Mac Dre - Livin' That Life (1997)
Mac Dre - Pawns In The Game (1997 or 1998)
Willie Joe - I Wonder (2015)
YG & Nipsey Hussle - F**k Donald Trump (2016)
DJ Quik & Problem ft. Shy Carter - A New Nite/Rosecrans Groove (2016)
DJ Quik & Problem ft. Candace Boyd & The Game - Rosecrans (2016)
Nef The Pharaoh - BMD (Baby Mama Drama) (2016)
Mozzy ft. Young Mezzy - So 4Real (2016)
Miit Gang ft. Bully - Devil Get Off Me (2016)
Kap G - Girlfriend (2016)
BlaqNmilD ft. 5th Ward Weebie - Ain't Dat Bout A Bitch (2016)
The-Dream - Love Me Back (2016)
Dexta Daps - Haunted (2016)

Other stuff: wish Rae Sremmurd would go back to making songs which sound like Max Martin composed a single for Travis Porter because songs which sound like Makonnen composed a single for Travis $cott are not my type; if you've heard The More Things Change then you've heard the one good song on Grand Puba's new album, and you should have heard The More Things Change because it was featured in my Puba deep cuts playlist.

Monday 25 April 2016

Very important question regarding 2016 R&B

The-Dream - Love Me Back
(From Crown Jewel sessions leak; 2015 - 2016)

Why's the best song on this Crown Jewel leak sound like what would happen if Terius composed Wheatus' comeback single for a remake of Say Anything?

Saturday 23 April 2016

Kid Capri Pants

"I wonder..
If I put you on a play would you keep that shit on the under?
If I leave you alone with my bitch would you be on her bumper?
Is you a real n*gga, my n*gga? Aww man, I wonder.."

Willie Joe - I Wonder
(From Doper album; 2015/YouTube; 2016)

The unlikely scenario where Willie Joe finally makes a song which neither sounds like everybody else nor features everybody else, though a 22nd Letter remix would be welcome. A legit slap for the first proper weekend of summer, just make sure you don't touch down pon road wearin' some 3/4 length capri pants like Willie or #TeamShortsAboveTheKnee is gonna be forced to intervene. Turn up to the pub in pedal pushers, get turned away and pushed back into your taxi.

Thursday 21 April 2016

#Woke up one morning about 6 O'clock part 2

"I was against all odds fresh out the womb
My only hope was to soak game so I consume
My n*ggas chilled and parlayed, I learned the hard way
Scuffed and ruffed up, the game done scarred Dre
Back in the days all I knew was the 'hood and rocks
Lookin' for fonk and headin' straight for a wooden box
Sprung on the quick cash and gettin' a grip fast
Never really trippin' on how long would shit last
Earnin' my ghetto stripes in scraps and ghetto fights
F*ckin' with 'hoodrats, them tramps and ghetto types
Never givin' a f*ck, nah, not even sometimes
Just havin' a fun time, runnin' from one time
Trippin' and not even peepin' the shit
Slippin' and steady gettin' deep in the shit
I let the game control me, it shape and mold me
Then it treated me coldly, it pimped and hoed me
I was sellin' the crack but not stackin' a damn thing
And now that I look back, man, it's a damn shame
Couldn't recognise there was game to peep
Dank had me gone and my brain asleep
I finally woke up in the federal penn'
Broke than a muhf*cka, beggin' for ends
I was a midget, a small digit, forgotten
Game was stale, my name was rotten
Had life by the ass, my shit was twisted
I thought about the 'hood and how much I missed it
But the life I was livin' wasn't really shit
I was clockin' them ends but wasn't stackin' a grip
They had the world thinkin' I was runnin' in vaults
I reassessed my thoughts, improved my faults
And for the next 4 years I kicked and waited
Becomin' top notch while incarcerated
But that's the way it goes, you pay the price
When you're deep in the game and you're livin' that life"

Mac Dre - Livin That Life
(From The Musical Life Of Mac Dre Vol 3 album; 2014)

If there's a glaring omission from the Mac Dre generic list post I put together for Drew Barber, it's gotta be Livin' That Life. Dre & Khayree damn near made a movie with this song and the 2nd verse as quoted up top might be the realest shit Dre ever wrote. The remastered version uploaded here for your pleasure is a very slight improvement on the 1997 original from The Blackalation, partially because of the enhanced sound quality but mainly due to Khayree removing that annoying post-song skit about the bisexual with the Beamer. Word around the town, Dre intentionally mispronounced FILA on the first verse because he was planning on dropping a side-project under the pseudonym of Mac Malapropism.

Previously: #Woke up one morning about 6 O'clock.

Wednesday 20 April 2016

Very brief thoughts on the DJ Quik & Problem EP

That smug face Wiz Khalifa makes when he realises the Max B and DJ Quik & Problem songs he's guested on in 2016 both comprehensively body anything on that last KanYe West album. A face which wears the expression of a man who lost the battle but casually went on to win the war:

It goes without saying that the track featuring Game would be one of the highlights on this DJ Quik & Problem EP because songs where Game and Problem team up are invariably great, and even Game's pitiful attempt to blow air-kisses at Dr Dre and Drake can't spoil some sun-kissed Quik production that's back in the Rhythm-al-ism zone.

Really doe, where's the reunion EP with DJ Quik that Suga Free was talkin' about on VladTV last year? Why U Bullshittin' is gonna be the greatest trilogy in Rap history if Sug' & Quik both do what they're both 'pposed to and follow up parts one & two with the ultimate fire 'n' brimstone conclusion.

Tuesday 19 April 2016

The Devil Made Me Do It (no Paris)

"And late nights I'm be dreamin' 'bout sinnin'
Uh huh, uh huh
He in my ear like a n*gga better ride wit' him"

Miit Gang ft. Bully - Devil Get Off Me
(From Soundcloud; 2016)

Seems like every city in California has its own local Rap group making throwback mob musik like 2001 and The Jacka never existed. More DBCO than DB Tha General, the aesthetic is an artistic cul-de-sac for all rappers of this ilk, but for mavens of traditional Gangsta-Rap it's a nice neighbourhood to visit every once in a while when you're hankering after more of the same, just slightly different. Progress must be a dirty word in the rulebook of San Diego's Miit Gang, but good mob musik tunes that knock as effortlessly as Devil Get Off Me are as timeless as Boyz-n-the-Hood beatjacks.

Monday 18 April 2016

Baby Bish Bash Bosh

Robin Schulz ft. Francesco Yates - Sugar
(From Sugar single; 2015)

How did Robin Schulz's House remake of Baby Bash & Frankie J's Suga Suga go from being a song which didn't even bumrush the U.K top 20 last summer to being the hen party banger du jour on the U.K high street? Hit up the Albert Dock branch of Revs any saturday night and you're guaranteed to find the dancefloor packed with women dressed as nuns doing things that'd make Lucifer blush whenever the DJ plays Sugar.

It might be scientifically impossible to record a bad version of Suga Suga as the Reggae remix proved when Major Riley & Happy Perez freaked the original with a (Baby) Bashment twist. Even the Grand Puba of 2016 could make a decent tune out of that remix and he's fresh offa dropping this century's worst Reggae-Rap song.

Saturday 16 April 2016

Reasons why I love YouTube # 70

Behold an unofficial video for Hashim's classique 1983 electro slap Al-Naafiysh (The Soul), shot on the tube in London for broadcast on The Tube after the song blew up in the U.K in 1984 (useewhattheydidthere?) Shit's like Alphaville meets Beat Street minus zee French ppl and the toy-town graffiti by Ramo:

Thursday 14 April 2016

The kid ALWAYS comes first

No Afrika Bambaataa, natch. Why rant about your baby mama on social media when you can monetize your frustration by turning it into a song instead?

"Come to think about it, you were really persuasive
Never shoulda let this alien step foot in my spaceship"

Nef The Pharaoh - BMD (Baby Mama Drama)
(From BMD (Baby Mama Drama) single; 2016)

Thizz Khalifa-core really is the ideal antidote to the plague of stale Ratchet leftover production currently infesting west coast rap, innit? Wouldn't surprise me if that YG song in the video for his clothing line also turned out to be one of Cardo's compositions.

Haven't bothered listening to that Lost Tapes project Nef dropped last week since it's just freestyles over other people's beats, but props to him for rapping over 2 Ashanti songs. Never forget the Foolish video made Goodfellas superfluous.

Monday 11 April 2016

Generic list post: 10 jams from 2016 that ain't even rap songs

Shout out to Audiomack, shout out to Soundcloud, shout out to the music channels on Freeview, shout out to Capital XTRA, shout out to Mark who DJs in Havanas, shout out to all these songs for being a much-welcome escape from the sheer glut of shitty Hypebeast rap which sounds like Migos and/or Chief Keef...

Tweet - Magic
Kwamz & Flava - Takeover
The 1975 - The Sound
Spice - Born Wid It
Mr. Fingers - Qwazars
Jacquees - Know You
Dexta Daps - Chinese Jordan
Moelogo - Pénkéle
Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign - Work From Home
Popcaan - Tight Pussy Wine

Sunday 10 April 2016

Hairdresser from College Park, that's the monster 'do

"I just took a flick with ur girlfriend
I been kickin' shit with ur girlfriend
I just smoked a blunt with ur girlfriend
I think that I'm done with ur girlfriend"

"Call me David, I'm the one to blame" - wordplay so eyerollingly dubious that you've got to admire Kap G for having the sheer audacity to sneak it into a song. I'on even care, though, because Girlfriend is Vato's most ondulado song since last year's tragically ignored Andelay, and the video proves he still has the most enviable hair in all of rap.

Kap G - Girlfriend
(From El Southside mixtape; 2016)

El Southside is now available tagless for those of us who want Girlfriend and/or the Pharrell joint without DJ Drama howlin' at the moon over them.

Friday 8 April 2016

#Woke up one morning at 6 O'clock...

"I did the thing in the penn' the whole time I was in
I stayed soakin' up game and steady pushin' my pen
I read about shit I never knew existed
Before I went to jail I had the whole thing twisted
But now I knows and I'm finna expose
What really goes on behind closed doors
Them devils got a plot that'll shock the nation
To control black power and population"

Mac Dre - Pawns In The Game
(From The Musical Life Of Mac Dre Vol 3 album; 2014)

Maybe it's just ya boy that's been sleepin', but there seems to be a couple of genuinely hitherto-unreleased jams on this The Musical Life Of Mac Dre Vol 3: The Young Black Brotha Years 1996-1998 album Khayree released through Thizz Nation a couple of years back. Best of the bunch gotta be Pawns In The Game here, some real spit in the vein of Life's A Bitch over the sorta bluesy fonk which later underpinned Devin The Dude's best albums. Presumably this was Too Woke For Da F**kin' Album when Khayree was puttin' The Blackalation together?

Related: #Woke up one morning at 6 O'clock... Part 2

Thursday 7 April 2016

Renegades Of Nonce Part 2

The story that's far too juicy to be confined to one post, even when I've wasted all my best jokes and puns in the aforementioned post's comments. 5 brief thoughts on the Afrika Bambaataa nonce allegations of 2016:

Turns out that the politician who claims Bambaataa used to molest him as a teenager had stripes in Bronx rap history: back when Ronald Savage was nicknamed "Bee-Stinger" he used to work for DJ Jazzy Jay at Strong City Records, he's mentioned in the thanks lists on a grip of golden-era rap albums, and he even got a shout-out on Busy Bee's Old School track in 1988.

Dead @ the unfortunate irony of a kid Bambaataa diddled being known as "Bee-Stinger", though. Bee-Sting/beasting - lol geddit?

Yesterday Star's Shot97 show broadcast a new allegation from another fella who claims Bambaataa coerced him into sex when he was 17 years old and looking for a record deal. His claims are too convoluted to get into here, so let's just say his tale of visiting Bambaataa's record label casting couch is very different to the stories EPMD and Craig Mack told in their respective versions of Please Listen To My Demo.

A rumour has also since emerged that Bambaataa allegedly touched up the late Sipho The Human Beatbox from Big Audio Dynamite and London Posse sometime during a U.K tour back in the '80s. This probably explains why people in the U.K have known Bambaataa is gay for decades, whereas the only people in the U.S who knew about Bambaataa's sexuality pre-internet were the teenagers he molested and the inner-circle Zulu Nation members who turned a blind eye to his noncing in order to protect the man who wrote their paycheques.

Remember the huge kerfuffle when Q-Tip asked Lil' Wayne to join the Zulu Nation and at least 50% of the organisation's members were apoplectic with rage because they claimed Wayne didn't represent da 4 elementz? Notice how all those same Zulu Nation members have suddenly gone quieter than church mice now these allegations about their organisation's head honcho have come to light. Southern rappers - officially more evil than kiddie-fiddlers, apparently.

Wednesday 6 April 2016

Martorial elegance: Nef The Pharaoh edition

Nef The Pharaoh ft. Philthy Rich - Say Daat
(From Neffy Got Wings EP; 2016)

Still trippin' how Cardo could go from Wiz's Mezmorized to the nu-Bay I'm Bout It, Bout It with Say Daat.

Theory: the reason Nef is shootin' videos for songs like Say Daat and Mobbin' instead of his no-brainer hit single in-waiting Michael Jackson is because, as anyone who follows him on Instagram knows, he doesn't actually wear those 'orrible Giuseppe Zanotti high-tops he raps about on the hook. Nef's only pretending he owns Giuseppes because that's what all those fashion victim rappers from the South and the Midwest who dress like Christiano Ronaldo wear and he wants Michael Jackson to be a national hit, so if he were to shoot visuals for the song he'd have to blow his video budget on a shitload of ugly Eurotrash high-tops he'll never wear again.

Why would an independent artist like Nef waste his moolah like that when he has the option to spunk that very same money on hiring a couple of shithot cars to hang out with Philthy Rich and Mozzy for the Say Daat video, and the option of hiring a yellow bus to fulfill all his childhood Mistah F.A.B fantasies with the Mobbin' video? Nef is wise beyond his 21 years on this planet, thus he's smart enough to realise that Giuseppe high-tops are the millenial equivalent of Troop and Lugz in the SAME DAMN SHOE.

Saturday 2 April 2016

Renegades Of Nonce

Let's not bullshit here: no straight man would ever sport a mohawk or willingly attend a German rave, thus it's been one of the worst kept secrets in rap for close to 20 years now that Afrika Bambaataa has a penchant for dick. What does come of somewhat of a surprise, however, is that Bamabaataa allegedly has a penchant for dick that's 13 And Good. Who's down with the S.P.M via Ken Kaniff? Afrika Bam-B! The founding father of the Universal Zulu Nation buggering young boys - oh the humanity!

Always said Jonzun Crew's first album was better than Planet Rock or any other Bambaataa song me, m8. Moral of the story here: never trust hip hop enthusiasts in Star Trek sunglasses who invite you around to their homes to show you Incredible Bongo Band raer vinylz.

In the (unlikely) event Bambaataa is innocent of being the Jonathan King Of The Beats then, yo, no shotz - it was just bantaa.

Friday 1 April 2016


Posted this already in march's wrap-up list, but apropos of #content 4 the weekend here's 5th Ward Weebie's 2nd new single in as many months. Grand Weeba went from sampling Donell Jones to sounding like he's recorded a Bounce & Bullshit song with him:

"She about to be my bae, I told her she my babe
But I'ma squeeze datazz first just to make sure it ain't fake
Ohhh yeah indeed, I know that's real
The way you back it up on me, gurl, you give me chills"

5th Ward Weebie ft. S 8ighty & Big Choo - Club Luv
(From Club Luv single; 2016)

Turns out this was a local record by its two guests S 8ighty & Big Choo before Weebie bought it from them and then added his own vocals. Also turns out Weebie has another recent song with the New Orleans producer/rapper BlaqNmilD who's reponsible for such Bounce-redux bangers as both parts of Let Me Find Out and Maine Musik's Social Media Gangsta:

"In '98 he was the man
He had the city in his hand
He gave his boy 100 grand, when the FEDS got involved, yo that boy took the stand
Like mannnnn, ain't dat 'bout a bitch

BlaqNmilD ft. 5th Ward Weebie - Ain't Dat 'Bout A Bitch
(From The Becoming mixtape; 2016)