Wednesday 31 January 2024

Generic list post: January 2024

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when ya boi struggled to find any recent Rap music to my taste. It wasn't for lack of listening, but if shit doesn't click then I'm shit outta luck.

2Pac - Open Fire (O.G version) (1993)
Husalah ft. The Jacka - Think About You All The Time (2003)
Bruiser Wolf - Dope Boy (2024)
Bruiser Wolf - Hurry Up & Buy (2024)
R.A.P Ferreira & Furnitake Tamura - Jes' Grew Up In Osaka (2024)
Cajmere - Horny (2001)
Ramones - Today Your Love, Tomorrow The World (uncensored version) (1976/2017)

Other notables: because I could barely find any recent Rap which floats my boat, I put together a comfort blanket in the form of a Martorialist Classics™ playlist.

Monday 29 January 2024

Future Shock

Like I said in my Rap & BULLSHIT urban rumours post, when Digital Underground first came out very few folk realised Shock G and Humpty Hump were the SAME DAMN PERSON. Yes, Shock was a malleabley-mouthed MF who had the sheer charisma to pull off being two different characters; but he was also a crafty mischief-maker who was deliberately trying to fool Rap fans as he proved during his first YO! MTV Raps appearance in 1990. Peep Fab 5 Freddy interviewing Shock G and Humpy Hump at the SAME DAMN TIME!?!?
Later there was another Rap & BULLSHIT urban rumour that Humpty Dupe was 2pac in disguise, but he was #actually played by Shock's own brother Kent Craig. Anyhoo, am I correct in thinking that the only time Digital Underground ever performed live in the YO! MTV Raps studio was the 1991 episode where they did No Nose Job? A pity because D.U always set it off when they performed on TV.

Friday 26 January 2024


Ezale teasers got me feelin' like Captain Ahab in pursuit of his killa whale with a heavy tail. If the Pol Pot of Pill Popping-Rap™ isn't gonna drop that fun, fun, fun song yet then I'll gladly take this one instead. It's been a dry January for new Rap music which tickles ya boi's taste buds and Ezale snippets are the ultimate Martorialist thirst-trap. Let's get the Legit Slapz overflowing like a village pub's hanging baskets.

Monday 22 January 2024

Born To Audiomack: Martorialist Classics™

Various Artists - Martorialist Classics
1. 5th Ward Weebie - Supa Sunday In N.O (2003)
2. Mic Terror - If God Was Mic (2008)
3. Positive K ft. King Of Chill - Step Up Front (3 Heineken Technique mix) (1988)
4. Bailey - F**k Yo Couch (2006)
5. Spoonie Gee - The Big Beat (1983)
6. Grip Plyaz - Ray Lewis (2013)
7. Y@k Ballz - HomePiss (2000)
8. Eatem - Go Get Yo F**kin' Brotha (2021)
9. Lord Sear - Ya Mouth Stink (2000)
10. Mouse On Tha Track - Big Blossom (2022)
11. Go-Rilla Pimps - Pimp Olympics (2003)
12. Z-Man - Artistic Violence (1999)
13. Big Scoob - Kryptonite (2000)
14. Husalah - Inshallah (In God's Will) (2003)
15. Bizzie Boyz - For Those Who Slept (1990)
16. Missin' Linx - What It Is (1999)
17. J-Diggs - What Would Dre Say (2014)
18. Maino - Role Model (2008)
19. Toon ft. Ya Boy Big Choo - My Hot Girl (2016)
20. Kwest Tha Madd Ladd - 101 Things To Do While I'm With Your Girl (1994)
21. Extra T's - E.T Boogie (1982)
22. Ezale - Raised Like This (2021)
23. Max B - Take A Flick (2007)
24. Lil' Chris - Gods Crying (2015)
25. Cold Crush Brothers - Fresh, Wild, Fly & Bold (1984)
26. Slim Thug, PJ & Paul Wall - Live From The Lonestar (2005)
27. A-Mafia - Wunn (2019)
28. Jamie Jupitor - Future Computer (2016)
29. Day Day Sustaaa - B.A.N.P (2022)
30. The New Style - Scuffin' Those Knees (1989)

I post like fluid, got no choice but to do it. In it to win it, my blog layout is tinted. Presence is there, talents is rare, tellin' how I post, how I comb and share. My style is mobile, name is global, speak of Marty then say the boi he's noble. For years I trained and Rap music I probed, just to put sumfin' funky in ya earlobe. I'm causin' a frenzy inside ya Benzey, radio DJs is green with envy. But that's not my style, I'm just too kind, I repeat that line like an Auld Lang Syne. May old acquaintances be forgotten, I think that's just as well because some bloggers were rotten. I keep it positive and add some derogative, with a lot to take and a helluva lot to give. Readers... I know ya feelin' kinda right, press play on this shit because tonight's ya night.

Basically, I was browsing my Audiomack the other day and decided that I should make a playlist of Martorialist Classics™. 30 Rap songs spanning time between 1982 and 2022. I've posted about all these songs over the years so now I'm gonna let the music do the talking. I swept the 'mack with no broom, improvement needed? No room.

Wednesday 17 January 2024

My Mind Spray 13.5

If you thought "Illmatic OR It Was Written?" guys were the biggest bores then you've never come across an "Illmatic OR Stillmatic?" guy. Stillmatic is the dullest album to EVER receive 5 mics because Nas delivers his rhymes with the chutzpah of a double-glazing telephone salesman on his last call of a very long shift, and there's maybe 3 good songs maximum. On the strength of Get Down alone, God's Son is a far better album than Stillmatic innit.

I'm resigning from my position as British chief of EzaleHive because I missed this snippet from last year. 'Song OTW' in Ezaleglish translates as 'I might drop this shit in 2025'.

People used to wonder what Cadillac Tah actually did at Murder Inc Records - the answer was Ja Rule's gardening, Ashanti's washing & ironing, and any plumbing issues Irv Gotti had. But one of the reasons why Rap music is the G.O.A.T genre is that a record label's lackey can end up with a legit jam if they happen to snag the right beat at the right time, and that's exactly what happened when Tah recorded POV City Anthem. New Yorkers turned their noses up at the concept of Ringtone-Rap and decryed it as a symbol of southern LCD gimmickry. Newsflash: NYC invented Ringtone-Rap with the 2 way pager chirp of POV City Anthem.

This guy had the best 2023 songs list I came across. Fair play, my man has impeccable taste.

Ya boi watched Ghostbusters II for the first time since 1989 this past Christmas and was reminded of Doug E. Fresh's lousy song from the soundtrack which was made listenable with a Bomb Squad remix that sounded like a 1989 Howie Tee production. If only Special Ed had got that beat instead.

Sunday 14 January 2024

Ramonper Stomper

Ramones - Commando
(From Leave Home album; 1977/YouTube; 2008)

Another reason why YouTube is the internet's crown jewel: fan-made animated videos for Ramones classics like Commando, I Don't Wanna Go Down To The Basement, Judy Is A Punk, Listen To My Heart and Sheena Is A Punk Rocker. Most 1970s New York Punk was alright if you like junkies with nary a decent tune in sight, but early Ramones knocked out more tunes than Lozenges. An irresistible cocktail of riffs, rhythm, repetition, stories, melodies, harmonies and humour. The Ramones condensed entire worlds into songs which rarely lasted longer than two & a half minutes. That's some Vividest Author™ Mekon-brain songwriting decades before Un Kasa.

And another reason why YouTube is the internet's crown jewel, particularly if you're a Ramones Stan: the uncensored original studio version of Today Your Love, Tomorrow The World is on there innit. Even though Johnny Ramone and Tommy Ramone were Jewish and the song's writer Dee Dee Ramone was a half-German military brat who spent most of his youth in mumsy's Das Motherland, Sire Records' supremo Seymour Stein deemed the "I'm a nazi baby, I'm a nazi, yes I am" line #problematic and insisted the band remove the song from their debut album unless they changed its lyrics. Da Brudders complied and re-recorded the song but always performed the original lyrics live. In 2017 the O.G uncensored studio version turned up on the Ramones' YouTube page and I'm pretty sure it's never appeared anywhere else previously or anywhere else since. The re-recorded version is a top five dead or alive closing song on a Rock album, and this O.G version is frigging incredible too. Fifth rule IS: "don't mention the war!"

Ramones - Today Your Love, Tomorrow The World (O.G uncensored version)
(From Ramones album recording sessions; 1976/YouTube; 2017)

One, two, three, for the treble: which American actor/director is a huge Stan of both the Ramones and Spoonie Gee? Hey ho, it's Vincent Gallo.

Friday 12 January 2024

I saw a Wolf with a Columbian menu in his hand... (part 2)

"That was a good look, before he left me hanging like a pull up
It was money on the floor like a push up
But that's the story of my life, which is a good book"

Bruiser Wolf - Hurry Up & Buy
(From My Story Got Stories album; 2024)

When Bruiser Wolf declared "I got my own sound, I'm an instrument" on his first album it wasn't so much a boast as a explanation of how his dulcet Looney Tones work. Marvin The Martian tempo, his lines got pimples, the spaces got dimples, everything he says sounds com-umental. The game ain't the same without the playaz in, these words don't make sense without the layers in, the white lines don't hit the same without the LOLz in, this beat sounds like it was chopped in Shaolin.

Previously: I saw a Wolf with a Columbian menu in his hand...

Sunday 7 January 2024

Jack B Nastie

The Jacka - Heavy Rain (CDQ)
(From the internet/The Jackilation unreleased album; 2007)

Back in early 2022, me & JackaHive were over the moon to finally find a CDQ version of his G.O.A.T lost loosie Heavy Rain. In fact, it's one of Jacka's G.O.A.T songs full stop and demonstrates why him & RobLo were one of those perfect rapper/producer pairings who were born to record music together. Ya boi recently found out the story behind the song: it was recorded for some album called The Jackilation by a Benicia rapper called Jack Nastie. The album never dropped but Jacka's team uploaded the unmixed version of Heavy Rain to his MySpace page. Turns out there was another Jacka song recorded for the Jack Nastie album featuring Dubb 20 and Nastie himself which makes the ideal B-side to Heavy Rain. Naturally the song would be better if Nastie hadn't laid locals on it, but I can't begrudge him his moment in the sun because that man is partially responsible for Heavy Rain's existence. Raise a toast to Jack - both of them!

The Jacka ft. Jack Nastie & Dubb 20 - I Can Have It
(From The Jackilation unreleased album; 2007)

The three of them even performed I Can Have It live in a school gym once.

Friday 5 January 2024

I saw a Wolf with a Columbian menu in his hand...

"I wonder if they could tell I'm a dope boy?
My first toy was a scale, I had no choice
Money talk, I had no voice
My mom was gone, I had no joy "

Bruiser Wolf - Dope Boy
(From Dope Boy single; 2024)

2024 has lift off! It's the return of the Wolf with more one-liners than Bob Monkhouse. Thankfully he's stuck 2 his script and his musical M.O is still Danny Brown's m8 who sounds like Suga Free in a Carhartt Duck chore jacket rather than a Cavalli 3/4 length Mink coat. A Rapconteur with the comic delivery of your favourite sitcom character, Bruiser Wolf stays a breath of cool breeze in the zone of Detroit D-Boy rhymes. Those intangibles innit - it's mostly tha voice that makes your ears perk up, it's mostly tha voice that makes your funny-bone buck.