Courtesy of Drew Huge, rare cassette-only artwork for Akinyele's debut single The Bomb:
Can't imagine why Interscope wouldn't wanna blow this pic of yung Ak's mug up and slap it on the 12" version too?
Saturday 30 November 2013
Friday 29 November 2013
That Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
Given that this is the year which has given us R.I.P, I'm 4rm Bompton, My N*gga, Fuck You and Next Bitch, who'd have thunk the best cuts from CTE's #ItsThaWorld 2 EP wouldn't be either of the DJ Mustard productions but a song where Jeezy does hoarse Jay-Z impersonations for 4 minutes over a Drumma Boy beat and a Doughboyz Cashout joint featuring the presence of Pusha-T rapping about beak in his irritating trademark scary-guy-on-the-phone-from-a-Scream-movie voice?
"I had 'em for the 2-3, n*gga, just like new J's
PURE WHITE COCAINE!
I can stretch that 62 about 4 ways
PURE WHITE COCAINE!
Cut it with the razor first day
PURE WHITE COCAINE!
Then I put that white gurl in the water, mermaid
PURE WHITE COCAINE!"
Doughboyz Cashout & Young Jeezy ft. Big K.R.I.T & Pusha-T - Pure
(From Young Jeezy & CTE's #ItsThaWorld 2 EP; 2013)
I'm loathe to enjoy anything featuring Pusha-T in 2013 other than Let Me Love You which I can jam as a fantasy unreleased Ma$e X The Neptunes track recorded for Double Up (Pusha has only ever been any good at sounding nonchalant over Neptunes beats so it's no surprise that him trying his hand at Ma$e's flow over a Chad & Pharrell replica by The Dream would result in his best song since 2006), but Pure manages to overcome the Pusha-T factor because it's a song about cocaine which would probably sound wonderful if you were actually high to your eyeballs on cocaine. Listen to those yawps of bandito trumpet and tell me you don't feel the bravura of a Zapatista general during the 1994 uprising in Chiapas.
PURE WHITE COCAINE!
I can stretch that 62 about 4 ways
PURE WHITE COCAINE!
Cut it with the razor first day
PURE WHITE COCAINE!
Then I put that white gurl in the water, mermaid
PURE WHITE COCAINE!"
Doughboyz Cashout & Young Jeezy ft. Big K.R.I.T & Pusha-T - Pure
(From Young Jeezy & CTE's #ItsThaWorld 2 EP; 2013)
I'm loathe to enjoy anything featuring Pusha-T in 2013 other than Let Me Love You which I can jam as a fantasy unreleased Ma$e X The Neptunes track recorded for Double Up (Pusha has only ever been any good at sounding nonchalant over Neptunes beats so it's no surprise that him trying his hand at Ma$e's flow over a Chad & Pharrell replica by The Dream would result in his best song since 2006), but Pure manages to overcome the Pusha-T factor because it's a song about cocaine which would probably sound wonderful if you were actually high to your eyeballs on cocaine. Listen to those yawps of bandito trumpet and tell me you don't feel the bravura of a Zapatista general during the 1994 uprising in Chiapas.
Thursday 28 November 2013
Hold up, I show out when I show up
VERY RAER HIGHLIGHT FROM THE MIDDLE PORTION OF SLIM THUG'S LATEST ALBUM NOT RUINED BY NEEDLESS APPEARANCE OF THE TEXA$ TERMANOLOGY NOW HAS A VIDEO!
Slim Thug - 84s
(From Boss Life album; 2013)
Don't wanna be one of those hommes who gush over rapper's voices a little too enthusiastically, but, gosh, it's almost like Thugga's dulcet tones were willed into existence just to talk slick about vehicles and vaginas over spurious Pimp C productions by Big K.R.I.T like this, wonnit? Lemme venture to suggest that 84s is a top 5 song outta Houston this year alongside Z-Ro's Look Good, IONCAHH by BeatKing, Killa Kyleon's Cadillac, and Cake by UGK, Boosie & Big K.R.I.T.
(From Boss Life album; 2013)
Don't wanna be one of those hommes who gush over rapper's voices a little too enthusiastically, but, gosh, it's almost like Thugga's dulcet tones were willed into existence just to talk slick about vehicles and vaginas over spurious Pimp C productions by Big K.R.I.T like this, wonnit? Lemme venture to suggest that 84s is a top 5 song outta Houston this year alongside Z-Ro's Look Good, IONCAHH by BeatKing, Killa Kyleon's Cadillac, and Cake by UGK, Boosie & Big K.R.I.T.
Wednesday 27 November 2013
Probably can't tell but I been through Hell
Stuff I know about about Stu Hustlah: he's from Fort Wayne, Indiana, and he's the type of traditional regional Gang$ta-Rapper who treats C-Bo with the same sort of reverence that east coast rappers reserve for Rakim; some lad called Conor did a guest post about his clique Murder Gang for Thomas' gaff; he's featured on a Feddy Da Sneak & Young Bossi song I'm very fond of; I discovered this certified jam in the related videos for that Freddy Da Sneak & Young Bossi song I'm very fond of; he could probably pursue a side career playing Turf Talk's stunt-double:
Stu Hustlah - Let Off Da Strap
(From It's Me album; 2013)
Really wish I'd heard this before the temperature's dropped and the sky's turned grey for the next 4 or 5 months. Shout outs to all the UK man dem who heard Stu's "it's me, it's me" ad libs during the intro and thought dook was gettin' in on that Carol Vorderman ISME.com advert loot.
(From It's Me album; 2013)
Really wish I'd heard this before the temperature's dropped and the sky's turned grey for the next 4 or 5 months. Shout outs to all the UK man dem who heard Stu's "it's me, it's me" ad libs during the intro and thought dook was gettin' in on that Carol Vorderman ISME.com advert loot.
Tuesday 26 November 2013
Generic list post: 2013 edition
15 2013 singles, deep cuts, and loosies which really should've gotten more luh IRL and on teh internet:
The Lox - Summer's Too Hot
A-Wax - Buffalo Bill
Travis Porter ft. Jeremih - Err Damn Day
Mouse On Tha Track - Mr Lump Sum
Doughboyz Cashout & YG - Hella Ice
A-Mafia - Block Hugga
HD Of Bearfaced - No Pretendo
Fredo Santana ft. Blood Money - Take Risks
Mic Terror - West Coast
Kap-G ft. Young Jeezy - Jose Got Dem Tacos remix
Dom Kennedy - Nothin' Like Me
Roach Gigz ft. Kreayshawn - Pu$$y Magnet
BeatKing - IONCAHH
Chinx Drugz - How Can I Lose?
Suga Free & Pimpin' Young ft. Nate Dogg - 15 Minutes To 5
Related: Dom Kennedy should consider working with DJ Mustard more because Nothin' Like Me is so much better than his regular stuff, especially the much overrated My Type Of Party which just sounds like a 2011 A$AP Rocky Karmaloop commercial before they added the token corny faux-Screwed hook.
A-Wax - Buffalo Bill
Travis Porter ft. Jeremih - Err Damn Day
Mouse On Tha Track - Mr Lump Sum
Doughboyz Cashout & YG - Hella Ice
A-Mafia - Block Hugga
HD Of Bearfaced - No Pretendo
Fredo Santana ft. Blood Money - Take Risks
Mic Terror - West Coast
Kap-G ft. Young Jeezy - Jose Got Dem Tacos remix
Dom Kennedy - Nothin' Like Me
Roach Gigz ft. Kreayshawn - Pu$$y Magnet
BeatKing - IONCAHH
Chinx Drugz - How Can I Lose?
Suga Free & Pimpin' Young ft. Nate Dogg - 15 Minutes To 5
Related: Dom Kennedy should consider working with DJ Mustard more because Nothin' Like Me is so much better than his regular stuff, especially the much overrated My Type Of Party which just sounds like a 2011 A$AP Rocky Karmaloop commercial before they added the token corny faux-Screwed hook.
(T_T)
After his brief pisspoor flirtation with Ryan Hemsworth (nowadays "selling out" for a rapper means letting some Canadian Tumblr DJ turn your music into a half-baked facsimile of something from a 90s Mo' Wax Trip-Hop compilation), $tarlito is back to atone for his sins with some real Sad Boyz Rap. Keep The Change from his new album features 'lito doing 'lito over lugubrious production which sounds like steam wafting up offa rain sodden streets, while Troy Money is a decent enough weed carrier in a Young Dolph Jr. kinda way and I particularly enjoyed his "had to change how I live so I could change where I live" line:
"I'm sippin' pink and smokin' purp
Sellin' weed, no felonies, a spelling bee when I go to work
OZ's QP's, HQ's of O.G, yeah I go beserk"
$tarlito ft. Troy Money - Keep The Change
(From Fried Turkey album; 2013)
Tha sample sounds kinda like an outtake from Bernard Herrmann's Taxi Driver OST. I'll be your BFF if you can identify where it comes from.
Sellin' weed, no felonies, a spelling bee when I go to work
OZ's QP's, HQ's of O.G, yeah I go beserk"
$tarlito ft. Troy Money - Keep The Change
(From Fried Turkey album; 2013)
Tha sample sounds kinda like an outtake from Bernard Herrmann's Taxi Driver OST. I'll be your BFF if you can identify where it comes from.
Monday 25 November 2013
Cadbury's milk Trae
A list of the rappers who appear on Trae's new mixtape I Am King: Puffy, Jeezy, T.I, Krayzie Bone, Roscoe Dash, Lil' Reese, Kevin Gates, Lupe Fiasco, Snoop Dogg, Meek Mill, Lil Boss, Wiz Khalifa, Jadakiss, Jay'Ton, Yo Gotti, Dougie D, Da Brat (!), Big K.R.I.T, and B.o.B.
By my reckoning there are 7 people in that list who have any business being on a Trae full length, the rest amount to the most generic assemblage of industry cameos since French Montana's album. So it's astonishing to find out that the immediate standout track and the only cut which sounds like it was recorded by a Texas rapper is the one which features guest vox from a journeyman hack like Snoop, who'd probably jump on an Admiral Crumple song for a quick cheque at this point. Nursery-rhyme beats, Trae still making boring car-talk tropes sound compelling, and a Snoop verse that's clearly ghostwritten by Trae FTW:
Trae ft. Baby Houston & Snoop - Old School
(From I Am King mixtape; 2013)
Looking on the bright side, at least Trae spared us a cameo from his Grand Hustle label mate Iggy Azelea. Bruce Samazan, James Murdoch, and Robbie Unkut are the only Aussies who should be allowed anywhere near Rap music, IMHO.
By my reckoning there are 7 people in that list who have any business being on a Trae full length, the rest amount to the most generic assemblage of industry cameos since French Montana's album. So it's astonishing to find out that the immediate standout track and the only cut which sounds like it was recorded by a Texas rapper is the one which features guest vox from a journeyman hack like Snoop, who'd probably jump on an Admiral Crumple song for a quick cheque at this point. Nursery-rhyme beats, Trae still making boring car-talk tropes sound compelling, and a Snoop verse that's clearly ghostwritten by Trae FTW:
(From I Am King mixtape; 2013)
Looking on the bright side, at least Trae spared us a cameo from his Grand Hustle label mate Iggy Azelea. Bruce Samazan, James Murdoch, and Robbie Unkut are the only Aussies who should be allowed anywhere near Rap music, IMHO.
Saturday 23 November 2013
Erm, where's the Freeway & Jacka album then?
The snippets for Highway Robbery were up on Amazon and that shit was scheduled for release on november 12th. Then the page vanished, the album didn't drop and Jacka announced it'd been pushed back until 2014.
Why he do dat dere? I was particularly intrigued by the snippet of a Young L produced slap featuring Husalah called Shuckin' & Jivin' which sounded like it had the potential to be the new Sleep With Da Fishes (Boom Clack):
Husalah - Sleep With Da Fishes (Boom Clack)
(From Mob Trial compilation; 2006)
Why he do dat dere? I was particularly intrigued by the snippet of a Young L produced slap featuring Husalah called Shuckin' & Jivin' which sounded like it had the potential to be the new Sleep With Da Fishes (Boom Clack):
(From Mob Trial compilation; 2006)
Friday 22 November 2013
Boston George is the southern Termanology
Can somebody keep this fucken' wack arse leech-with-loot offa otherwise great Boo Rossini and Slim Thug songs, and can Lil' Lody stop giving him beats period, plz?
Thursday 21 November 2013
Just sayin, bruv 9
Everybody on the Rap internet is either too cool or too clueless to admit this, but the original version of Canibus & Rakim's I'll Bust 'Em, You Punish 'Em over the beat which sounds like something from the Beatnuts' A Musical Massacre deserves to be lauded alongside the O.G versions of AZ's Your World Don't Stop and Doe In Advance by Gang Starr in the pantheon of amazing 90s N.Y Rap songs which were then rendered unlistenable by sample clearance for their official retail release:
Keeps my tongue glued to the A-Dat when I'm trackin' my shit
Let my spit lubricate the chap on my lips
And make you rappers have fits cause I'm back in the mix"
Canibus ft. Rakim - I'll Bust 'Em, You Punish 'Em
(From I'll Bust 'Em, You Punish 'Em 12"; 1999)
FYI Canibus, using spit to lubricate your chapped lips will only make them drier.
Labels:
just sayin',
Martorial elegance,
rap,
underrated jams
Generic list post: Val DOOMican edition
Here at The Martorialist, we've only really ever fucked with MF DOOM on the occasions when he rhymes over MF DOOM beats, so, ideally, his official follow-up full length to Operation Doomsday would been made up of the best tracks from the King Gheedorah, Monsta Island Czars, and MF Grimm albums. If he'd have let ya boy DOOM Passantino right chea MC Serch this chimerical sophomore album, the tracklist would have ran a lil' somethin' like this:
1. One Smart N***** (Intro)
2. Fazers
3. Foolish (with MF Grimm & Megalon)
4. Mic Line
5. Rain Blood (with Megalon)
6. Final Hour
7. Anti-Matter (with Mr Fantastik)
8.Fastlane (with Kurious)
9. Escape (with Monsta Island Czars)
10. I Hear Voices 0 (with MF Grimm)
11. I Hear Voices 1
12. Next Level
Kurious, Megalon, and MF Grimm all would have had solo tracks on there with Fastlane, Rain Blood, and I Hear Voices 0 respectively; Monsta Island Czars would have been allotted another weed-carrier posse cut in the vein of Who You Think I am? with Escape; and the absolutely incredible Arrow Root instrumental those Scienz Of Life plums ruined on Next Level from the King Gheedorah album would have had DOOM gettin' all ? over the top of it as the emotive album closer instead.
Anybody fancy making this into a YouTube playlist?
2. Fazers
3. Foolish (with MF Grimm & Megalon)
4. Mic Line
5. Rain Blood (with Megalon)
6. Final Hour
7. Anti-Matter (with Mr Fantastik)
8.Fastlane (with Kurious)
9. Escape (with Monsta Island Czars)
10. I Hear Voices 0 (with MF Grimm)
11. I Hear Voices 1
12. Next Level
Kurious, Megalon, and MF Grimm all would have had solo tracks on there with Fastlane, Rain Blood, and I Hear Voices 0 respectively; Monsta Island Czars would have been allotted another weed-carrier posse cut in the vein of Who You Think I am? with Escape; and the absolutely incredible Arrow Root instrumental those Scienz Of Life plums ruined on Next Level from the King Gheedorah album would have had DOOM gettin' all ? over the top of it as the emotive album closer instead.
Anybody fancy making this into a YouTube playlist?
Wednesday 20 November 2013
ATLanta's Most Wanted
Since that dibba-dibba-dinosaur singin' ass hack Mos "Yeltsin Beyonce" Def is too busy indulging in publicity stunts to advertise that he's available for Prisoner-Of-War movie roles and fighting with John Mayer over #RARE Visvim gear at Union, it's left to Rich Kidz to bring back the spirit of early 90s Ice Cube:
"The cut locked up
Got Boosie locked up
Why the fuck Zimmerman out doin' what he want?"
Rich Kidz - Trayvon
(From A Westside Story mixtape; 2013)
Crazy fruity Swag-Rap didn't die, it just got political.
Got Boosie locked up
Why the fuck Zimmerman out doin' what he want?"
Rich Kidz - Trayvon
(From A Westside Story mixtape; 2013)
Crazy fruity Swag-Rap didn't die, it just got political.
Tuesday 19 November 2013
Reasons why I love YouTube #51
(From Wanna Be A Baller single; 1999)
Monday 18 November 2013
Wu Wuu Wuuu >>>>>> any Wu-Tang song from the past few years which doesn't feature an AZ cameo
Welcome to the post where I stan for the occasionally unintelligible Uncle Murda & Rocko song where they both make funny noises at the end of damn near every line akin to Akinyele circa Vagina Diner. With its next level onomatopoeia based on a Martin Lawrence sitcom catchprase, Wu Wuu Wuuu is the final frontier of recurring phrase Rap, and Jahlil Beats' production is both pretty and ugly AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!
If you want beef, what it doo-ooo
You pussy by yourself, you tough when you with your creewuuu
I been tough since public schoo-oool
Momma whipped my ass for bein' bad at schoo-oool
Beat me in the shower is what she used to doo-oooo
Belt used to hurt, had me screamin' out OOOHH-OHHHH-OOHHH
Then I'd go outside with an attitu-uude
Flippin' on n*ggas, they like I thought we was coo-oool?
Over misunderstandings I'm eatin' n*ggas foo-oood
Call me the animal that took over the zoo-ooo"
Uncle Murda ft. Rocko - Wu Wuu Wuuu
(From Wu Wuu Wuuu single; 2013)
See guys, it's not just Young Thug who can make great Rap music by making daft sounds with his gob!
Martorial elegance: the anti-CRC edition
There's a war goin' on out chea no Rap fan over the age of 30 is safe from! J-Love is not impressed by the Conservative Rap Coalition's philosophy of wearing age appropriate clothing and now exists as the main sartorial role model for all ageing fat whiggas who just can't say no to oversized sportswear, large logo POLO and bandanas. Fuck your tasteful J.Crew shirts and slacks, J-Love is back like Air Max '87s on ol' Joey Essex lookin' ass banter lads with dat DJ Talent swag and his Rap Hands of Death:
Sunday 17 November 2013
Fuck minimum wage, I feel like I got minimum days
Lil' Snupe - No Games
(From RNIC mixtape; 2013)
Posthumously listening to Lil' Snupe, what's even more striking than the references to his own demise is his spookily prophetic penchant for rhyming about gunshot-related torso wounds on so many of his songs. Using his fellow former Louisiana native Soulja Slim as the most obvious point of comparison, if his amazing intro to DJ Mustard's Ketchup album (the only Snupe song I'd heard prior to his death) is his From What I was Told type definitive classic, then I'd argue No Games should be his quintessential fan-favourite deep cut a la You Got It. No Games is also one of the only songs in his oeuvre which sounds like it it was recorded by a Louisiana rapper right down to the Mista Cain shout out, and Snupe was much more intriguing a prospect as Louisiana's rappin' ass answer to Fredo Santana than he was as the Dramchasers Lil' Malik to Meek Mill's Snoop Dogg.
Geographical similarities aside, the slain rapper Lil' Snupe's career probably parallels the closest isn't Soulja Slim but New York's Half-A-Mill: both Snupe and 'Mill were tremendously talented rappers who struggled to translate those skills into song format due to industry affiliations/expectations and poor production choices, and whose legacies seem to rest on their freestyles rather than their recorded material bar a generic song on a totally half-arsed compilation each.
Friday 15 November 2013
Reasons why I love YouTube #50
Via Gwarizm, Biggie's 15 minute video diary from the UK TV show Passengers in 1995:
"I just wanted to be that live n***a that just drive everywhere, live my life, smoke weed all day, get my dick sucked, whatever..."
R.I.P to the days when American Rap music could actually get on British telly. The best we've gotten over the past 5 years is Ice-T & Coco on All Star Mr & Mrs and Coolio on Celebrity Big Brother.
"I just wanted to be that live n***a that just drive everywhere, live my life, smoke weed all day, get my dick sucked, whatever..."
R.I.P to the days when American Rap music could actually get on British telly. The best we've gotten over the past 5 years is Ice-T & Coco on All Star Mr & Mrs and Coolio on Celebrity Big Brother.
Thursday 14 November 2013
Token N.W.A post
It's Future week on ATLanta's Got Talent and here comes the bloke behind Soulja Boy's Zan With That Lean Part 1 with an N.W.A-themed generic but utterly potent strained Auto-Goon™ joint. Kind of an apt arc really since all those Rap & Bullshit jams from Pluto everybody sweated last year were essentially overrated facsimiles of Zan With That Lean Part 2. *ducks*
"I'm a young N*gga Witta Attitude
Chain full of them Ice Cubes
Hunned thousand dollars in a Dickies suit"
Kwony Cash - Y.N.W.A
(From Don't Sleep mixtape; 2013)
Shout outs to all the homies who've witnessed enough strength of street knowledge to notice that N.W.A and Only Fools & Horses both used the Mistral font for their logos. Eazy-E & Dr Dre were the Rap Game Del Boy & Rodney on so many levels.
*EDIT* The Ruthless Records roster as Only Fools & Horses cast members analogue as according to Bradley and me:
Eazy-E = Del Boy
Dr Dre = Rodney
Ice Cube = Boycie
MC Ren = Denzil
DJ Yella = Trigger
Jerry Heller = Grandad
Suge Knight = Uncle Albert
D.O.C = Mike The Barman
Cold 187 Um = Mickey Pearce
Tarrie B = Raquel
Michel'le = Cassandra
Kokane = Tony Angelino
AIDS = The bar Del Boy falls through
Chain full of them Ice Cubes
Hunned thousand dollars in a Dickies suit"
Kwony Cash - Y.N.W.A
(From Don't Sleep mixtape; 2013)
Shout outs to all the homies who've witnessed enough strength of street knowledge to notice that N.W.A and Only Fools & Horses both used the Mistral font for their logos. Eazy-E & Dr Dre were the Rap Game Del Boy & Rodney on so many levels.
*EDIT* The Ruthless Records roster as Only Fools & Horses cast members analogue as according to Bradley and me:
Dr Dre = Rodney
Ice Cube = Boycie
MC Ren = Denzil
DJ Yella = Trigger
Jerry Heller = Grandad
Suge Knight = Uncle Albert
D.O.C = Mike The Barman
Cold 187 Um = Mickey Pearce
Tarrie B = Raquel
Michel'le = Cassandra
Kokane = Tony Angelino
AIDS = The bar Del Boy falls through
Wednesday 13 November 2013
Ayo the Beef N Broccoli tumblr
Cool method of word-for-word jacking a post about Foxx's original Wipe Me Down video I made in july, bruv, but if you're gonna gaffle my blurbs about Baton Rogue rappers in future could you at least play switcheroo with the sentence structure a bit so I won't notice when ANU reblogs you?
Props on being the first American Rap blogger to mention Joey Deacon in a post, though.
Labels:
rap,
tv blues,
why you wanna do that luv huh?,
youtube
Tuesday 12 November 2013
Late pass: Kitty Pryde calls Das Racist's rape victim a liar
The hombre Jamie just directed me to this and it makes for a handy post-script to both the Das Rapist/Julienne Shepherd debacle and Kitty Pryde/The Wavery-gate. Get a load of the erstwhile Miss Pryde calling the time Das Racist & their manager groped some teenage girl & then raped her after she'd passed out in their hotel room "some kinda miscommunication" and dismisses the allegation as "a girl said a thing on tumblr":
Moral of this missive? Kitty Pryde only cares about rape victims when they're the person employing her and/or if she can get paid to write a Noisey column about them, which makes her the most reprehensible redhead in Rap right now just ahead of Drake's painfully unfunny fat ginger mate.
*EDIT* Someone in the comments posted this frankly jawdropping show of solidarity for the sisterhood from Kitty which she apparently hastily deleted. Julienne Shepherd would be proud:
Moral of this missive? Kitty Pryde only cares about rape victims when they're the person employing her and/or if she can get paid to write a Noisey column about them, which makes her the most reprehensible redhead in Rap right now just ahead of Drake's painfully unfunny fat ginger mate.
*EDIT* Someone in the comments posted this frankly jawdropping show of solidarity for the sisterhood from Kitty which she apparently hastily deleted. Julienne Shepherd would be proud:
Monday 11 November 2013
Just sayin', bruv 8
Sacrilegious opinions about Houston-Rap #1: pardon the pun, but the remix of Yungstar & Lil' Flex's Knockin' Pictures Off Da Wall from the Crooked Profit Vol. 1 compilation knocks the original version outta the box since all the O.G does is sorta answer the question of what would DJ Screw's June 27 sound like if it weren't Screwed & Chopped? Answer: nowhere near as thumpin'.
Yungstar ft. Lil' Flex - Knockin' Pictures (remix)
(From Yungstar & Den-Den's Crooked Profit Vol. 1 compilation; 2002)
The original is a Houston classic which still gets Yungstar shows in Houston to this day, but the vocals sound all outta sync with such uptempo drums and how are they gonna call a song Knockin' Pictures Off Da Wall when it's got about as much low-end as a Minnie Mouse qweef? This remix fixes both of these problems by planting Yungstar & Lil' Flex's vocals over a sample of I Can't Wait by Nu Shooz, making it sound like a late '80s Teddy Riley Rap production repurposed to rattle trunks in Texas. Shit sounds pretty sweet in a 2014 Citroen DS4 driving around oop north too.
(From Yungstar & Den-Den's Crooked Profit Vol. 1 compilation; 2002)
The original is a Houston classic which still gets Yungstar shows in Houston to this day, but the vocals sound all outta sync with such uptempo drums and how are they gonna call a song Knockin' Pictures Off Da Wall when it's got about as much low-end as a Minnie Mouse qweef? This remix fixes both of these problems by planting Yungstar & Lil' Flex's vocals over a sample of I Can't Wait by Nu Shooz, making it sound like a late '80s Teddy Riley Rap production repurposed to rattle trunks in Texas. Shit sounds pretty sweet in a 2014 Citroen DS4 driving around oop north too.
Sunday 10 November 2013
I think Atlantic tryna set Joe Mo$e$ up, maybe I'm just Paranoid? #2
Pssst, you didn't read this salacious little rumour here, but a source close to Ty$ tells me the real reason for Joe Mo$e$' removal from the official version of Paranoid was at the behest of Ty$'s fellow Atlantic Records artist T.I who didn't take too kindly to Joe's "see, all my bitches is bad I'm not T.I, ain't no Tiny's around me uh-uh, bitch" line about his beloved missus, and that's why Atlantic have been attempting to erase the original version from the 'net these past few months. Maybe the Rap Genius annotation was the final straw for Tip?
Damn, Joe, ya boy Ty$ is all up in da game but he's got the NO MA'AM rules missin' like DB Tha General:
"Bro's over hoes? Hell naw, that's gay!"
DB Tha General - Don't Worry
(From I Shine, We All Shine album; 2012)
Damn, Joe, ya boy Ty$ is all up in da game but he's got the NO MA'AM rules missin' like DB Tha General:
DB Tha General - Don't Worry
(From I Shine, We All Shine album; 2012)
Labels:
dead perez,
rap,
why you wanna do that luv huh?
Friday 8 November 2013
Sicko Mobb are the new Migos
Which means all y'all lads & lasses need to knock it off hyping up another group who presently only have one great song and whose singular style suggests they will only ever have one great song since they've absolutely nailed said singular style already with Fiesta in much the same way Migos did with Hannah Montana. What's wrong with just celebrating Sicko Mobb for being a one-great-song wonder anyway when it means they're in such esteemed company as T-La Rock and Hot Stylz?
Sicko Mobb - Fiesta
(from YouTube; 2013)
You bloggers ain't nuthin' but models for pigeons on t-shirts by pretending those new Sicko Mobb joints with Lil' Durk and Twista are worthy of anything other than faint embarrassment for everybody involved in them. Being charitable, you could say that neither Maserati or Bitches & Bikinis are quite as awful as that Twitter-bait car crash between TREE & Danny Brown in Margarita Pracatan mode earlier this year, but both songs are hella boosy mismatches of rappers who just don't work together within the framework of the same track, and if you trendy disingenuous motherfuckers keep pushing them as THE NEXT BIG THING then we're going to end up with Sicko Mobb X RiFF RaFF X Ryan Hemsworth collaborations before the end of the year and a tragic string of mixtapes which nobody really cares about anymore a la Migos.
Related: how bad is that Twerk remix of Hannah Montana? Once upon a time only CJ Mackintosh and his UK Club remixes could flat-out ruin perfect Rap songs with such honking recklessness, but nowadays rappers have a more in-house method for spoiling their own shit: themselves. Ol' George Lucas tinkering with fucking lightsaber FX in the O.G Star Wars trilogy ass dudes.
(from YouTube; 2013)
You bloggers ain't nuthin' but models for pigeons on t-shirts by pretending those new Sicko Mobb joints with Lil' Durk and Twista are worthy of anything other than faint embarrassment for everybody involved in them. Being charitable, you could say that neither Maserati or Bitches & Bikinis are quite as awful as that Twitter-bait car crash between TREE & Danny Brown in Margarita Pracatan mode earlier this year, but both songs are hella boosy mismatches of rappers who just don't work together within the framework of the same track, and if you trendy disingenuous motherfuckers keep pushing them as THE NEXT BIG THING then we're going to end up with Sicko Mobb X RiFF RaFF X Ryan Hemsworth collaborations before the end of the year and a tragic string of mixtapes which nobody really cares about anymore a la Migos.
Related: how bad is that Twerk remix of Hannah Montana? Once upon a time only CJ Mackintosh and his UK Club remixes could flat-out ruin perfect Rap songs with such honking recklessness, but nowadays rappers have a more in-house method for spoiling their own shit: themselves. Ol' George Lucas tinkering with fucking lightsaber FX in the O.G Star Wars trilogy ass dudes.
Thursday 7 November 2013
Rejected rejected ideas #2
Annual 2013 list of my post pitches that were so bad even Dan & Drew turned them down for the Rejected Ideas section over at Fat Lace.
I Sit Alone In My 4 Cornered Room Staring At Cankles - Scarface reveals he longer feels comfortable wearing shorts in public due to his rapidly thickening lower legs.
Just A Young 'Hood N*gga, Screech Raised Me - Future argues that Saved By The Bell was a better show than The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air.
M.O.B Dick - Jim Jones & Mel Matrix explain why they're the Rap Game Captain Ahab & Ishmael.
This Is Why I'm Shot - Mims uses a ouija board to speak to Lil' Phat's spirit in a bid to find out if he really was killed by some Ukrainian guido car dealer and Eldorado Red.
The Lyrics Born Ultimatum - in an exclusive interview, the azn bloke from Latryx reveals that he left the group because the blk bloke from Latryx wouldn't stop farting on their tour bus.
It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold His Cack - Dr Gillian McKeith teaches Bizarre from D12 how to turn those lead logs into flaky floaters.
Mouse On The Track - Lil' Mouse tests out whether Nike Flyknits are good for Track & Field events.
Street Nozzles Pointed At Ya Nostros - a Rap blogger dating series in which Andrew "Noz" Nosnitsky and Lauren Nostro go on a string of paintballing dates together.
I Sit Alone In My 4 Cornered Room Staring At Cankles - Scarface reveals he longer feels comfortable wearing shorts in public due to his rapidly thickening lower legs.
Just A Young 'Hood N*gga, Screech Raised Me - Future argues that Saved By The Bell was a better show than The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air.
M.O.B Dick - Jim Jones & Mel Matrix explain why they're the Rap Game Captain Ahab & Ishmael.
This Is Why I'm Shot - Mims uses a ouija board to speak to Lil' Phat's spirit in a bid to find out if he really was killed by some Ukrainian guido car dealer and Eldorado Red.
The Lyrics Born Ultimatum - in an exclusive interview, the azn bloke from Latryx reveals that he left the group because the blk bloke from Latryx wouldn't stop farting on their tour bus.
It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold His Cack - Dr Gillian McKeith teaches Bizarre from D12 how to turn those lead logs into flaky floaters.
Mouse On The Track - Lil' Mouse tests out whether Nike Flyknits are good for Track & Field events.
Street Nozzles Pointed At Ya Nostros - a Rap blogger dating series in which Andrew "Noz" Nosnitsky and Lauren Nostro go on a string of paintballing dates together.
Wednesday 6 November 2013
Wave Bry
In theory, Roc Marciano attempting to surf Max B's wave should be a clash of incompatible styles, yet in practice he pulls it off with the sort of chutzpah that Faxsimile B's like French Montana and Sen City could only dream of. And then you realise: hey, maybe the Max influence has been there all along in post-UN Marciano songs like Ridin' Around but we were all just too busy tracing Long Island Rap lineages and devising new ways to describe dude's wordplay without making him sound like Louis Logic with Lugers & LR-300s to notice it?
Roc Marciano - Ice Cream Man
(From The Pimpire Strikes Back mixtape; 2013)
A definitive list of the Waviest N.Y Rap songs of 2013 so far : Take A Flick by Max B, How Can I Lose? by Chinx Drugz, Instagram (Catfish) by Cam'Ron & Sen City, and this. Something by Le1f too, obviously.
(From The Pimpire Strikes Back mixtape; 2013)
A definitive list of the Waviest N.Y Rap songs of 2013 so far : Take A Flick by Max B, How Can I Lose? by Chinx Drugz, Instagram (Catfish) by Cam'Ron & Sen City, and this. Something by Le1f too, obviously.
Tuesday 5 November 2013
Reasons why I love YouTube # 49
A quick Zack Morris time-out from teh Rap musik tonight for a video of Robert Tepper lip-syncing his way through the Rocky 4 OST classic There's No Easy Way Out on German TV in 1985:
You've gotta hand it to the Jerries, they might have some very dodgy eccentricities (cultivating handlebar moustaches, watching shizer smut, murdering Jewish ppl, dropping bombs on British chip shops, employing German ex-pats in America during WW2 to hide up in the Potosi Mountains and shoot down an airliner full of major U.S physicists that poor old Carole Lombard also happened to be travelling on, and releasing the kind of Das 4 Elementz Preservation Society Hip Hop which makes the New Zealand Rap group who Jaz DJs for sound like Young Thug), but they sure do have good taste in histrionic 80s American poodle-Rawk.
Related: Jonzun Crew doing Pack Jam on German TV in 1983.
You've gotta hand it to the Jerries, they might have some very dodgy eccentricities (cultivating handlebar moustaches, watching shizer smut, murdering Jewish ppl, dropping bombs on British chip shops, employing German ex-pats in America during WW2 to hide up in the Potosi Mountains and shoot down an airliner full of major U.S physicists that poor old Carole Lombard also happened to be travelling on, and releasing the kind of Das 4 Elementz Preservation Society Hip Hop which makes the New Zealand Rap group who Jaz DJs for sound like Young Thug), but they sure do have good taste in histrionic 80s American poodle-Rawk.
Related: Jonzun Crew doing Pack Jam on German TV in 1983.
Sunday 3 November 2013
Agallah the Harold Bishop
Another freezing cold sunday afternoon, another Agallah The Don Bishop pun that'll confuse 80% of the people who read this site, and another great old Agallah deep cut from Da Mixtape Iz The Album I've only just discovered recently. Hear why Agallah is the type of bloke who probably lists himself as a Hopeless Romantic on his Match.com profile here:
"Don't act all fly if I ax' you out
'Cause you and I both know Ima mash you out!"
Agallah - Let's Get High
(From Da Mixtape Iz The Album mixtape; 2001)
Don't be mislead by the title because Let's Get High isn't another entry into the Agallah weed song canon alongside the likes of Fly High and Trees For Xmas. As hinted at above it's actually an adorable little ditty in the vein of Neighborhood Hoe about "the bitches and whores, my type of shit y'all" over what sounds the closing score from some swashbuckling 1930s Clark Gable movie for Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. No, seriously, I'm not just blowin' hyperbole outta my arsehole here, I swear that sample really does come from some Clark Gable flick I've half-watched on a freezing cold sunday afternoon much like today.
'Cause you and I both know Ima mash you out!"
Agallah - Let's Get High
(From Da Mixtape Iz The Album mixtape; 2001)
Don't be mislead by the title because Let's Get High isn't another entry into the Agallah weed song canon alongside the likes of Fly High and Trees For Xmas. As hinted at above it's actually an adorable little ditty in the vein of Neighborhood Hoe about "the bitches and whores, my type of shit y'all" over what sounds the closing score from some swashbuckling 1930s Clark Gable movie for Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. No, seriously, I'm not just blowin' hyperbole outta my arsehole here, I swear that sample really does come from some Clark Gable flick I've half-watched on a freezing cold sunday afternoon much like today.
Labels:
Favourites from the flicks,
rap,
underrated jams
Saturday 2 November 2013
Instagram Pam
Unhappy to find that there's zero trace of the Trill ENT roster on Foxx's new mixtape Shake Back (dude is now referring to himself as the "Trill E-N-T underdog" and will probably have to agree to an album with godamn Lil' Trill if he wants Turk & Mel to ever officially release something with his name on it again), but very pleased to report that the 'tape's highlight is one of Foxx's customary barbiturate-ballads about his everyday woes with a chorus which could have come straight outta Mouse On Tha Track's folder of golden hooks:
"Sometimes I wanna jump in my car, put the bitch in drive
Hit the interstate and just ride and get hiiiiiiiiiiiigh
And forget about the shit I go through
Fuck everybody, right now I don't know you"
Foxx - Ride
(From Shake Back mixtape; 2013)
Frankie Tha Lucky Dog done told me Foxx's "they on the internet too, put the wrong picture on Instagram and they comin' for you" line is an ill subliminal to the white staff at Noisey whose recent expose on online lean dealing got a bunch of black dudes arrested for using Instagram to sell syrup and post picture of illegal firearms.
Hit the interstate and just ride and get hiiiiiiiiiiiigh
And forget about the shit I go through
Fuck everybody, right now I don't know you"
Foxx - Ride
(From Shake Back mixtape; 2013)
Frankie Tha Lucky Dog done told me Foxx's "they on the internet too, put the wrong picture on Instagram and they comin' for you" line is an ill subliminal to the white staff at Noisey whose recent expose on online lean dealing got a bunch of black dudes arrested for using Instagram to sell syrup and post picture of illegal firearms.
Friday 1 November 2013
Thank you Lucky Dog
If Johnny Cinco's They Gave The Wrong Young N*gga Money is the reckless Blaxploitation Spaghetti Western of cash-themed 2013 Rap songs then Money Whipped by Savage AKA Sav Sinatra AKA Savage On Tha Track (an underrated Baton Rogue producer for Trill ENT/occasional rapping weed-carrier for Young Ready) must be the sombre Paul Schrader-penned late 70s American arthouse movie in Tinsel Town clothing?
If that all sounds a bit too poncey for datazz then here's a more straightforward pitch: dreamy Rap songs with money-as-a-girl similes are way better than corny Rap songs with Hip-Hop-kulcha-as-a-girl similes.
"N*ggas rob for ya, they work for ya, they hustle for ya, they scam
They prey for ya, they wish for ya, sell dope and pro'lly get jammed"
Savage - Money Whipped
(From Money Whipped single; 2013)
All jokes aside, I'm dead serious about They Gave The Wrong Young N*gga Money being one of the key songs in a new sub-genre of 2013 ATL Rap I'm naming ‘Buck Rogers Years Spaghetti-Western jams’. Also see: Sh!t by Future, Pablo by Gucci Mane & E-40, Hannah Montana by Migos, and Jose Got Dem Tacos remix by Kap-G & Young Jeezy.
If that all sounds a bit too poncey for datazz then here's a more straightforward pitch: dreamy Rap songs with money-as-a-girl similes are way better than corny Rap songs with Hip-Hop-kulcha-as-a-girl similes.
They prey for ya, they wish for ya, sell dope and pro'lly get jammed"
Savage - Money Whipped
(From Money Whipped single; 2013)
All jokes aside, I'm dead serious about They Gave The Wrong Young N*gga Money being one of the key songs in a new sub-genre of 2013 ATL Rap I'm naming ‘Buck Rogers Years Spaghetti-Western jams’. Also see: Sh!t by Future, Pablo by Gucci Mane & E-40, Hannah Montana by Migos, and Jose Got Dem Tacos remix by Kap-G & Young Jeezy.
Labels:
rap,
spaghetti western stares,
underrated jams
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