Wednesday 31 May 2023

Generic list post: May 2023

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when ya host joined in with Blog Era™ nostalgia. People tryna out-post Marty, how? I'm ridin' round with stylus pens the size of Lil' Bow Wow.

MC Lyte - I Cram To Understand U 1990 (DJ DOC remix) (1990)
Big Scoob ft. Celph Titled - Floss Filthy (2003)
J Hus - It's Crazy (2023)
Berner ft. The Jacka - Gone (remix) (2023)
Berner ft. Nef The Pharoah - Picky (2023)
Capolow - Team304 (2023)
Suga Free & Kokane - Bitch In Da Trunk (2023)
Suga Free & Kokane - SugaKane (2023)
Abie "Available" Baker - The Web (1959)
Fred Wesley & The Horny Horns - Say Blow By Blow Backwards (1979)

Other notables: Kali's Area Codes should have an entirely different beat since it's a homage to the most danceable Ludacris single - where's the Tonal Consistency™ eh eh?

Monday 29 May 2023

My Mind Spray 9.5

Two tracks I'm fiendin' for right now: this Lil' Ricefield song and this Nef The Pharoah song. Hopefully both Rappers don't leave me hanging like this Ezale song.

A couple of my m8s are fans of that new LL Cool J song produced by Q-Tip, but it sounds like some weird Cannibal Ox shit to me. If LL wants to sound like he's signed to Def Jux then I'd prefer he sounded like he was produced by Edan rather than El-P. Crazy visions, BOOM: Edan hooks LL up with some Top Shelf 8/8/'88 type beats and encourages LL to drop some absurdist My Rhyme Ain't Done-core songs.

I would have mentioned Burn One's old website in my Hall of Game blog list if I could remember the name of the site. Best song I discovered via that place has gotta be G-Mane & G-Side's No One Does It Betta.

I see lots of rappers wearin' Sergio Tacchini athleisurewear nowadays, but I've yet to spot any of them in the brand's crown jewel - their Time tennis shorts in navy blue. There's two types of people in this world, my friend: those of you who look like you're about to walk into court, and those of us who look like we're about to walk onto centre court. Come join Marty Macassi in the latter camp this summer.

Friday 26 May 2023

From Dem Boy Paigon to Dis Boy Demon

"I wanna send him to Jupiter
It wasn't me, it was Lucifer
I don't care if I'm a superstar, all them man I'm gonna crucify
I believe that you can fly when I put this bonsam in your eye
Crept up on him on the sly
F**k the law, I don't abide"

J Hus - It's Crazy
(From It's Crazy single; 2023)

Reasons why we love J Hus here at The Martorialist: everyone was expecting his comeback single would be a big summer anthem in the vein of Lean & Bop or Did You See, but he returns speaking in fiendish black magic tongues with the baddest Juju since our man from The Beatnuts. You can stick your dour U.K Drill up your arse, m8, the real British wickedness is right here. A song designed to soundtrack a very different type of hot weather.

Unpopular but actual factual opinion: the first three episodes of Blackadder series one are some of the best episodes in the show's entire run. As well as putting a fresh twist on various Shakespearean plots and reversing the later dynamic between Blackadder and Baldrick, they feature Brian Blessed, Peter Cook and Alex Norton in delirious form, and Elspert Grey quietly delivering some of the show's best quotables.

Plus, those first three episodes are free from any of the "Sticky McStickface from McSticksville"-isms which blemish the best episodes from the later seasons. One of the many problems with the British middle-classes is that they're incapable of writing comedy without tainting it with 'cockwomble' humour.

Thursday 25 May 2023

Good Morning, Cap'n

Capolow - Team304
(From Team304 single; 2023)

Every now and then I find myself partial to Capolow's Fetty Slap shtick, so what better time to enjoy his new single than the day his stylistic forefather was sentenced to 6 years in prison? Lotta stuff to like about Team304: double-pronged huge hook with the Big Tymers flow, bass which hits like Ronald Reagan on Angie Dickinson, pizzicato olde Mafioso strings, and a video that's a 2 & a half minute arse appreciation. No pork on this fork!

Tuesday 23 May 2023 who???

The Pharcyde - 4 Better Or 4 Worse
(From Bizarre Ride II The Pharcyde album; 1992)

Psssst - keep it on the DL, but I'm pretty sure that Party Sparty has identified the Sleazy Trumpet Horns™ from The Pharcyde's 4 Better Or 4 worse. Click this link and check the choon at the 1:14 mark. It gotta be like French & Max, right?

Related: Hotbox just dropped a compilation of Rap songs which sample The J.B's. Talk about a stroke of serendipity because I'm off to see Fred Wesley & The New J.B's live tonight. Fred is 79 years old and he's still out on tour givin' up food for funk. Ya host went to see The Chats live this past friday so my musical Yin/Yang levels will be in full steezy alignment by tomorrow.

Thursday 18 May 2023

Hall of Game: Get At Me, Blog

Everybody is talkin' about the blog era this and the blog era that. Lemme tell you about my favourite Rap songs I've discovered via blogs and bloggers. Any old chump can have opinionz about Rap music on the internet, but it takes a special kind of chump to sift through the crud and find the choonz. To those who rocked my speakers by putting me onto these songs, I salute you. Sadly, most of these blogs are dead now; even more sadly, so are some of the bloggers behind them - pour out a little ĺiquid of your preference for Gary Warnett, Yams, Matthew Africa and NyQuil.

Unkut ~~> Godfather Don - Status (1996)
Gel & Weave ~~> Young Bleed - Put Your Stamp On It (2006)
Cocaine Blunts ~~> Dre Dog - Smoke Dope and Rap (1993)
Government Names ~~> Tim Trees - Bank Roll (2000)
HoustonSoReal ~~> Big Tuck - Not A Stain On Me (2007)
Sole Sides ~~> Fam-Lay - Skrung Owt (2006)
So Many Shrimp ~~> Soulja Boy ft. Gucci Mane & Yo Gotti - Shopping Spree (2008)
FakeShoreDrive ~~> Mic Terror - If God Was Mic (2008)
Frankie Tha Lucky Dog'z Block ~~> Tha Camp - 1 Rubber (2007)
Werner von Wallenrod ~~> Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince - Touch Of Jazz (Collapsed In The Streets mix) (1987)
DGB ~~> Mouse On Tha Track ft. T Mac - Rubbin' On My Head (2009)
Traps N Trunks ~~> Lil' Boosie - Top To The Bottom (2009)
Thizzler ~~> Beeda Weeda - Bassrock Babies (O.G version) (2010) ~~> Dru Down ft. The Jacka - Hello Hello Hello (2010)
Nah Right ~~> Red Cafe ft. Pete Rock - Heart & Soul Of New York Cuty (2010)
Spine Magazine ~~> Prodigy - Raining Guns and Shanks (2008)
Fat Lace Magazine ~~> Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde - Doing The Do (1982)
Southern Hospitality ~~> HBK Gang - She Ready (2010)
OnlyBuilt4ZshareLinks ~~> The Firm ft. Half A Mill - Firm Biz (World Famous explicit remix) (1997)
Ichlugebullets ~~> Elzhi - Deep (2009)
Gwarizm ~~> Young T & Bugsey - No Mickey Mouse Ting (2016)
Real N*gga Tumblr ~~> Jae Millz - Sober (2009)
World Star Hip Hop ~~> Ezale - Foreal Foreal (2013)
Grand Good ~~> Kurious Jorge - Best In The World (2014)
12 Man Rambo Tapes ~~> Spice 1 - Killa Days (1992)
T.R.O.Y ~~> Half A Mill - In The Projects (1995)
Steady Bloggin' ~~> Grip Plyaz - F**k Dat Hipster Shit (2010)
The Smoking Section ~~> Mysonne - In Jail (2011)
Matthew Africa ~~> The Delinquents ft. B-Legit & Richie Rich - Bitch N*ggas (1999)
Beer And Rap ~~> 5th Ward Weebie - Let Me Find Out (2014)
Cobra Swag ~~> Messy Marv - Ima Tell You Whuts Real (2008)
100 Grand On My Wrist ~~> Feva ft. Husalah & Franchise - Handsome (2012)
Damn, Here's A Tissue ~~> Calvin T - Bottom Bitch (2014)
Sisilafami ~~> Short Kidd - The Mafia (2012)
Chicken-N-Kalinka ~~> Drama - Big Ball (2001)
Pay Tray ~~> The LOX - What Up, What Up (extended mix) (2008)
Droptops & Stacy Lattisaw Tapes ~~> Ike Eyes - Blue Roxies (2011)
Rey's Cafe ~~> Young Devi D - Young Fly N***a (2015)
The Hotbox Social ~~> Baby Soulja ft. Boosie BadAzz - Dirty (2017)
Rap Music Hysteria ~~> WNC Carlos ft. JMM Larry & Sherwood Flame - Cross Me (2016)
Crime Dawg By Law ~~> TREE - Honor Roll (2011)
Pink Chardonnay ~~> Duke Deuce - Yeh (2019)
The Boxxx Report ~~> DJ Premier ft. Casanova - Wut U Said? (2018)
Ray Garraty ~~> Cash Kidd - Zorbas (2018)

Honourable mentions: shout out to Dirtnap2 for being a British bloke who loves Max B as much as I do. And hat tip to Pure Baking Soda for helping spread the word that A-Wax's Thug Deluxe is one of the G.O.A.T NorCal Rap albums.

**EDIT** So, what's your favourite song you've discovered via this place then?

Monday 15 May 2023

Best of Both Worlds

Big Scoob ft. Celph Titled - Floss Filthy
(From No More Mr. Nice Guy 12" single; 2003)

File this under 'rapper pairings nobody saw coming.' In hindsight, the link-up of former Big Daddy Kane back-up dancer Big Scoob and future Bo$$ Hog Barbarian Celph Titled seems even more bizarre now - especially when it's Big Scoob featuring Celph Titled rather than vice versa. Anyhoo, this shit is a back-slapping bromance à la The Essence with the twist of Scoob extolling the joys of jiggyness and Celph celebrating his own cheapness. A very unexpected slice of "I do what work for me, you do what work for you"-core.

Other than me, Dom Passantino and Plum Drank, who else is #Bo$$HogBarbarian$Hive?

Wednesday 10 May 2023

Wednesday at Berner's

Berner ft. The Jacka - Gone (remix)
(From Arrogance Is Ignorance album; 2023)

Berner ft. Nef The Pharoah - Picky
(From Arrogance Is Ignorance album; 2023)

What we have here are two good examples of how Berner's exquisite taste in beats and guests can make amends for his own shortcomings. We've come a long way from THAT line on Nef's Bitch, I'm From Vallejo eh? But we've come an even longer way from Berner being edited out of his own Drought Season albums - dome blown in the comforts of my own home at him now being richer than Eminem or Drake. Dome also blown in the comforts of my own home at Berner doing an EP with some Mancunian Road-Rapper. Rap went from Ay Bay Bay to Eh Up Bay Area.

Monday 8 May 2023


"Not tryna boast or brag
But my vocab will hit you like a Sugar Ray Leonard jab"

The 45 King ft. MC La Kim - We Got The Funk
(From The 45 King's Master Of The Game album; 1988)

Top 3 Lakim Shabazz song, thus it really should have been on his first album. Shabazz was a rapper of paradoxes: he looked like Kendrick Lamar's baby-brother but he possessed the voice of a Nation Of Islam bodyguard; he's pigeonholed as a 5% conscious rapper when much of his music is about obliterating emcees into molecules; he's loved by ageing Anglo-Saxons like me & Eminem despite the fact he was none too fond of us white folk; he had a penchant for rapping over horn samples when Kenny G was the world's most famous saxophonist.

Tuesday 2 May 2023

For The Lads, By The Lads

Suga Free & Kokane - Bitch In Da Trunk
(From SugaKane album; 2023)

This Suga Free & Kokane album features some bakin' soda free treats for those of us who thought Bring It On was the best song on Snoop's Tha Last Meal CD. Personal highlight has gotta be Bitch In Da Trunk: a funk upon a rhyme street gospel to put the dip da in your day and the tip toe in your two step. It's music to Scare The Hoes™, but in a good way. That said, here at The Martorialist we don't condone throwing a bitch in da trunk - unless it's Ice-T's definition of a Bitch and the Bitch in question is a Bobby.
There isn't a single wasted second in Reservoir Dogs, which makes it all the more ironic that every movie Quentin Tarantino has made post-2000 has wasted my time by being at least 20 minutes too long. Being branded an Auteur has been the downfall of many a director. THEY SHOULDA NEVER GAVE YOU GUYS CARTE BLANCHE!!