Tuesday 30 August 2016

Generic list post: August 2016

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Andre 3000's guest appearance on that new Frank Ocean album wasn't even the biggest surprise cameo of August.

OutKast - Roaches & Rats (1996)
A-Wax - Dead People (2010)
Rich Boy - All I Know (2011)
Ezale - We Want Some Pussy (2016)
Rae Sremmurd ft. Gucci Mane - Black Beatles (2016)
WNC Carlos ft. JMM Larry & SOG Sherwood Flame - Cross Me (2016)
Mic Terror - I Don't Call The Cops (2016)
Uncle Murda - Cam'Ron Voice (2016)
Ka - That Cold and Lonely (2016)
Mr. Vegas - Nuh Play Pokémon (2016)
Timaya - Bang Bang (2016)

Other notables: Pneumonia doesn't bang as hard as When It Rain, but it's still got me excited for a new Danny Brown album - a notion which was inconceivable two years ago; Childish Gambino-does-Swag Rap is not something I'd enjoy in theory, but I'll be damned if Aminé's Caroline isn't a jam of sorts; All Dat is ya host's favourite TREE song since Naan; not a good month for Nef The Pharaoh since his new single Everything Big and the DEV song he guested on were both disappointments; 38 Baby is the first NBA YoungBoy song which suggests that he has a future beyond being just another trendy teenage gangbanger-rapper; I listened to Young Thug's Jeffery EP thing and came to the conclusion that I should stop frontin' on Pick Up The Phone just because of Travis $cott's co-billing; the rest of Thug's EP? No' Fa Me as a Scottish Devin The Dude might say.

Monday 29 August 2016

I never ghost rode whips, ghosts rode in my whips

"Dead people - I see 'em still
I see 'em in motion, I see 'em bein' still
Shhhh - dead people only I can view
When the time is right, wait until it's opportun'
Walkin' out the house, desert eagle on the side
Broad daylight I'm seein' people that've died
Some of natural causes, some were murdered
Some were actual losses, others deserved it"

A-Wax - Dead People
(From Nightmare From Elm Street Vol. 1 mixtape; 2010)

A-Wax over the best Sid Roams beat on Prodigy's Product Of The 80's album shoulda been the main theme to It Follows. Only weirdos care about whether rappers really live what they spit, but those rappers who've caught a body do tend to be the vividest authors when it comes to Murder Rap. "Seein' people I ain't got no business seein', I remember just feelin' like it was him or me.."

Sunday 28 August 2016

Reasons why I love YouTube # 73

No matter how awful the BBC's Are You Being Served? reboot is tonight, console yourself with the knowledge that it can't possibly be any worse than the early 80s Aussie remake which John Inman agreed to star in (presumably because of the huge sums of money Oz's Network Ten threw at him to reprise his role of Mr. Humphries during the winter shooting breaks from the U.K series in 1980/1981, because colonialism will live forever Down Under, and because all of Australia's own campest gay blokes were busy playing for the national cricket team during those years.) The show is a bizarro-world Are You Being Served? where all the characters and plots are near-identical to David Lloyd & Jeremy Croft's O.G series, but Mr. Humphries is the only person who can deliver a gag and everyone else sounds like yung Mel Gibson or au naturel Iggy Azalea:

... And yet it's still not close to being the biggest shitcom remake of all time. That honour belongs to either the 'Murican pilot episode of Peep Show or the British version of Married With Children with Russ Abbot as Al Bundy.

Wednesday 24 August 2016

Late pass: when you come up out the A you got that stupid Feng Shui

The one type of song my best of Kap G playlist was lacking in was yer standard bangeur-with-barz, so luckily enough I recently came across a nice lil' loosie from january which fits that bill to a tee. Get in where In The A fits in at track number 8 below:

Monday 22 August 2016

I wasn't on the roads when Donna Summer made Love To Love You

40 essential joints which didn't make Pitchfork's best 200 songs of the 70's listicle. Don't get it twisted - ya host ain't actually read the P4K piece, but someone copy & pasted it elsewhere and I noticed a shitload of glaring omissions which were probably cut at the expense of a plethora of overrated singles by the likes of David Bowie, Patti Smith + Bruce Springsteen, and a bunch of the usual wanky Jazz songs which music critics always pretend to like for listicles like this.

Funkadelic - I Bet You (1970)
Shirley Bassey - Light My Fire (1970)
Santana - Oye Como Va (1970)
The Stooges - Loose (1970)
Curtis Mayfield - (Don't Worry) If There's A Hell Below.. (1970)
Dennis Coffey and the Detroit Guitar Band - Scorpio (1971)
Baby Huey - Listen To Me (1971)
Roy Budd - Get Carter (Main Theme) (1971)
Groundhogs - Cherry Red (1971)
Al Green - Simply Beautiful (1972)
Johnny Cash - A Thing Called Love (1972)
Lyn Collins - Think (About It) (1972)
The J.B's - The Grunt (1972)
Cymande - The Message (1972)
Elton John - Bennie And The Jets (1973)
The Honey Drippers - Impeach The President (1973)
Billy Joel - Worse Comes To Worst (1973)
James Brown - Papa Don't Take No Mess (7" edit) (1973)
Maceo & The Macks - Parrty (1974)
Isaac Hayes - Hung Up On My Baby (1974)
Hall & Oates - Sara Smile (1975)
Bernard Herrmann - Taxi Driver (Main Theme) (1976)
Bill Conti - Gonna Fly Now (1976)
Steely Dan - Black Cow (1977)
Robin The Frog - Halfway Down The Stairs (1977)
The Buzzcocks - Orgasm Addict (1977)
Ronnie Hazelhurst - Are You Being Served? (Theme) (1977)
AC/DC - Whole Lotta Rosie (1978)
The Misfits - Bullet (1978)
Kraftwerk - The Robots (1978)
John Carpenter - Halloween (Main Theme) (1978)
The Bar-Kays - Holy Ghost (1978)
Rick James - Mary Jane (1978)
Linda Clifford - Runaway Love (12" version) (1978)
Joe Walsh - In The City (1979)
Madness - One Step Beyond (1979)
Anita Ward - Ring My Bell (1979)
The Sequence - Funk You Up (1979)
Spoonie Gee - Spoonin' Rap (1979)
Motörhead - Bomber (1979)

Related: I was on the roads when Madonna made Crazy For You.

EDIT: one of the Japanese lads turned this post into a Milq playlist. Arigato, PG slick like El Gato.

Saturday 20 August 2016


"Ima say what's on my mind, y'all can say whatever
I'm rootin' for Trump, he bringin' back the Reagan era
Can't trust Hillary, Hillary can't suck dick
That's why Bill cheated with the Monica Lewinsky bitch
Homies gettin' shot up in front of they kids
You think we give a f*ck who the president is?"

Uncle Murda - Cam'Ron Voice
(From t'internet; 2016)

Here at The Martorialist we'll always ride for those rare occasions Uncle Murda's trolling finds a purpose and he stumbles his way into the type of song everyone wishes 50 Cent could still make. Teddy Da Don's beat on this one sounds like Harry Fraud found some late 90s lost Beatnuts instrumental and revamped that shit to make it knock like the 2016 I'm A Coke Boy. Consider Cam'Ron Voice as the double A-Side to Murda's definitive remix of All The Way Up - the Martorialist edit minus any trace of Fat Joe di Rastamon, natch.

Related: Bloggas get shot everyday, b - you be aiight... you tough, right?.

Thursday 18 August 2016

Born to Audiomack: best of A-Mafia edition

A-Mafia claims his official debut album finally drops this fall, but whether it's any good or not is almost immaterial at this point - Uptown's own Mr. Outta Town has already cemented his position as the G.O.A.T Harlem henchman rapper because none of his immediate competitors have gone so hard for so long (or been able to Love Rap their whole goonery up at the drop of a Con Funk Shun classic.) Here's a best of A-Mafia playlist which starts in 2003 with his tracks from various Purple City mixtapes and finishes in 2015 with his My Boy single. Monsters, gorillas, alligators, beasts, demons, and fans of N.Y thug rap with opera samples - it's yours.

Other Audiomack rap playlists courtesy of ya host: AZ Deep Cuts, Best of Jackie Chain, Best of Grip Plyaz, Grand Puba Deep Cuts, Best of Fam-Lay, Best of Lil' Chris, Rap Songs Which Aren't On YouTube, Best of Kap G, and Akinyele Deep Cuts.

Tuesday 16 August 2016

Brief thoughts on Nef The Pharaoh's Everything Big

Nef The Pharaoh - Everything Big
(From YouTube; 2016)

- Nef & P-Lo AKA Shmobby Brackins owe us a legitimate slap after Meantime was the only outright dud on Nef's debut EP. Everything Big, unfortunately, is not that legitimate slap.

- This isn't an outright dud per se, it just sabotages itself in a similar way to Rae Sremmurd's By Chance: by wasting a great hook on a song where the production needlessly switches up for the verses and the rapper utilises a flow that's now totally played-out.

- Ca$h Money Records nostalgia is so passé at this point, but I can't be mad at a semi-homage to the oft-forgotten last great single of CMR's golden-era: Mannie Fresh's Real Big.

- On the real, when's Juvenile's VEVO page gonna get that HD Solja Rag video?

- This shit here is my most-anticipated Nef joint. Not the first time Nef's music has bore the influence of MC Ricky D and hopefully the song won't feature his touring buddy G-Eazy rapping about hotel orgies on it when it eventually drops.

- Full disclosure: ya host has been known to enjoy a bit of Sleazy-G rapping about hotel orgies.

- Ezale wins this round of 2016's best nu-Sic Wid It slap of the late summer.

Monday 15 August 2016

Gotta eat the intestines like groceries part 2

"Big Lurch is innocent and was set up" truthers on YouTube >>>>>>>>>>>

Shit, Big Lurch YouTube comments in general >>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sunday 14 August 2016


Did you find this tune in a YouTube rabbit hole which began with one of Maine Musik's videos? If so, YouTube's suggestions are currently the internet's foremost tastemaker of 2016 Baton Rouge rap because I stumbled on this tune the exact same way.

"She asked me for some shoes, I bought her Crocs
Bitch, what the f*ck do I look like a bop?
SIKE! I wouldn't buy a bitch a pair of flip-flops"

WNC Carlos ft. JMM Larry & SOG Sherwood Flame - Cross Me
(From YouTube; 2016)

If not, meet me at the crossroads like Bone Thugs because you've come up on the new Watch My Shoes. A turn-up anthem that's 2016 rap's most eviscerating use of the term ‘bop’ since OMG by RJ.

"F*ck your baby momma, she a bop!
F*ck your baby daddy, he a bop!"

(From OMMIO 3 mixtape; 2016)

Bit spooky how Cross Me and TEC & Maine Musik's Ain't No Comin' Down both have a Bone Thugs Crossroads line when both songs dropped within a week or so of each other innit? p

"Lord please forgive me, I'm a lost soul
Bone Thug his whole clique then meet each other at the Crossroad"

T.E.C & Maine Musik - Ain't No Comin' Down
(From YouTube; 2016)

Friday 12 August 2016

Just sayin', bruv: Whodini edition

Whodini - Featuring Grandmaster Dee
(From Escape album; 1984)

AKA the 5 Minutes Of Funk instrumental. Back in the '90s there was a HHC magazine interview with Whodini breaking down some of their classic singles where they admitted 5 Minutes Of Funk was an instrumental track Larry Smith made as a showcase for their DJ Grandmaster Dee which banged so hard they couldn't resist rhymin' over it. It's all luv to Jalil & Ecstasy for including both incarnations on their Escape LP, but they really shoulda played the background and just let Larry get his groove on for dolo because Featuring Grandmaster Dee is one of the few rap songs which works best as the version without any rapping. Think of it as the O.G The 900 Number in that respect.

1983/1984 really was the only good era for instrumental rap: 70% of the Wild Style OST, West Street Mob's Breakdance - Electric Boogie, Hashim's Al-Naafiysh (The Soul), Davy DMX's One For The Treble, Herbie Hancock & Grandmixer D.ST's Rockit, DJ Red Alert's Hip Hop On Wax Volume 2, and Featuring Grandmaster Dee here.

Tuesday 9 August 2016

Wanted dead or alive: ID a sample

"..And free Gzus all he wanted was Top"

Mic Terror - I Don't Call The Cops
(From Soundcloud; 2016)

Every generation of bent bizzies gets the 911 Is A Joke they deserve. Anyone know where the loop on the best Mic Terror track since N.W.G comes from? Something as other-worldly as this sample sounds like Bernard Herrmann composed the movie score for an Orson Welles adaption of Hansel & Gretel. Which means it'll probably transpire to be 10 seconds of unexpected brilliance on a Daniel O'Donnell Xmas single.

Monday 8 August 2016

Beaches & Sisters

The slapification of 2 Live Crew's We Want Some Pussy is a concept so startlingly obvious it's hard to believe the resulting song has taken 30 years to come to fruition. Given that Ezale is currently one of the most reliably unreliable rappers in the trade, We Want Some Pussy 2.0 has actually taken three decades to arrive in 2k16 day internet-time. Tune is just about worth the wait, though, because Funktown potentially has itself a new Pimp Of The Year for the function. Ezale's Gon' Bring That Town Shit Back to your doorstep, your doormat, your doorbell; I betchu already knew We Want Some Pussy dropped because Dru Down told y'all Funk smells.

Ezale - We Want Some Pussy
(From YouTube; 2016)

Quiz time: what was the first rap video to be set on a beach? Hint: Ty Dolla $ign may have been droppin' actual factuals about the brothers, the brothers on Alley Boy's RNGM.

Tuesday 2 August 2016

Born to Audiomack: Akinyele deep cuts

As well as documenting Akinyele's metaphysical redemption between Break A Bitch Neck in 1995 to Love My Bitch in 2001, my Ak' deep cuts compilation also proved that there's much fun to be found in the ol' rascal's catalogue beyond Vagina Diner and Put It In Your Mouth. Thus, I've upped it to Audiomack.

Tried getting Jack The Snipper to edit out the awful near-2 minute intro to The Robbery Song, but the MP3 wouldn't play on teh 'mack so you'll still have to suffer the extended skit where some wench called Janet gets slapped up and a crying toddler gets their cap peeled during a home invasion. All apologies to Moscaddie and Mumsnet innit.