Monday 30 June 2014

Generic list post: june 2014

Obligatory round-up post of joints I've been feelin' these past 30 days AKA the month that Simon Price was racist on Twitter.

A-Wax - Trust Issues (2014)
Priceless Da Roc - Yike Stand (2014)
The 99 Percent - Shabooyah! (2014)
Selfmade - Let It Breathe (2014)
BeatKing ft. Kirko Bangz & Michael Watts - Friendly (2014)
Lil' Wayne - Krazy (2014)
Fiend ft. 38 $lim - Off The Porch (2014)
Mouse On Tha Track ft. C-Loc - All The Way (2014)
Raheem The Dream - Freak No Mo' (1998)
Travis Porter - The $ (2014)
Fabo - Flying Cars (2014)
Young Thug ft. Trae Tha Truth - Baby (2014)
CoCo Kiss ft. Robyn Fly & Ms Go Ham - Side Piece (2014)
RJ ft. Jay 305 - I Feel Like (2013)
Slim 400 ft. TeeFlii - Kno Where The Party @ (2014)
Disko Boogie ft. Slim 400 & Killa Twan - All My Goons (2014)
Agallah & City Lights - The Privilege (2014)
Lil' Chris - What Money Do (2014)

Previously: may, april, march, february, and january.

Sunday 29 June 2014

Feminism is back!

Not too sure whether Side Piece by CoCo Kiss, Robyn Fly & Ms Go Ham is the inverse Loyal or a well-meaning ode to not settling for unfaithful scrubs which ends up as girls slut-shaming other girls into accidental punchlines like they were Hell Rell in 2007 street DVDs. Either way, song is catchier than the Tetris theme:

"The bitch think she cute, the bitch think she fire
But that hoe on the side like she got a flat tire"

CoCo Kiss ft. Robyn Fly & Ms Go Ham - Side Piece
(From Zaytoven presents The Zaytown Sorority mixtape; 2014)

Catchin' up on last night's Westwood and he played this shit, so I'm assuming it's currently movin' on up the pecking order in U.S rap radio rotation and will soon receive a real video? Ya boy GerMane Greer right chea is findin' it very #problematic indeed that I'm first hearing this song via a 50 year old British bloke rather than through those American rap bloggers who regularly churn out opinionz 4 u feminist think pieces about every single Nicki Minaj freestyle. Riddle me this: why is it that the vast majority of active rap bloggers only ever bother to acknowledge music by Female Rappers™ when there's a chance to get paid for it?

Feel like we should probably use this post to talk about Robyn Fly's Wipe My Ass too.

Saturday 28 June 2014

I feel like Suga Free pimpin' the beat

Fallen down the Pushaz Ink weed carrier rabbit hole for the second time this week. We already know RJ got slaps with DJ Mustard, but he also has singles that knock with DJ Swish on the production & his 37 year old uncle from South Central lookin' ass Jay 305 on the second verse:

"Gettin' fucked to record? That's pornography
Rappers tellin' my story, no biography
Got a bad lil' bitch used to flock for me
She went to jail with her momma' lost property"

RJ ft. Jay 305 - I Feel Like
(From O.M.M.I.O mixtape; 2013)

If YG's neighbours can score themselves a DJ Mustard beat or two, then Suga Free over Mustard needs to happen ASAP. Would even settle for a remix of I Just Wanna Party with him doing the hook and replacing Yams' lean cup-carrier Schoolboy Q.

Friday 27 June 2014

Brief thoughts on Drillary Clinton 2

(You so Fancy for this one, Spartorialist!)

Not really feelin' anything on this new Katie 'tape, tbh. Block On Tha Trakk really came through with the production that'll make you conscious of your own internal organs, but Katie's delivery is too ^^^^^^^^ when her whole shtick has always hinged on her sounding utterly ________, and there can't be a soul on this chunk of spinning rock who wanted a KGB X Wale collaboration.

R.I.P Katie? If so, you've had a way longer hot streak than Chief Keef.

Thursday 26 June 2014

Generic list post: jacked son like Curtis edition

Inspired by Ezale's Foreal Foreal and Trina & Lil' Mo's shemix of Cut Her Off, here's 20 remakes, homages, freestyles, unofficial remixes, and outright beatjacks that I now prefer to the tracks from whence they came.

50 Cent - 50 Shot Ya (2002)
G-Unit - Fat Bitch (2002)
Z-Ro - Mo City Don (freestyle) (2005)
KanYe West - A Million freestyle (2003)
Street Smartz - Ain't No Burna (1996)
Lil' Boosie - They Dykin' (2007)
E-40, San Quinn, B-Legit & Richie Rich - Timin' (2003)
The Diplomats - Dynasty freestyle (2001)
Max B - Have You Seen Her? (2007)
French Montana & Max B - Steak Sause (2008)
Lil' Wayne - Georgia Bush (2006)
Nicki Minaj & Lil' Kim ft. Gucci Mane - Freaky Gurl remix (2008)
Curren$y - Reagan Era (2008)
$tarlito - I Ain't Went Nowhere (2011)
DMX & The Lox - Get At Me Dog DJ Clue freestyle (1997)
Ma$e - Carshow freestyle (1997)
Lil B - Good Morning (2010)
Pharrell ft. Fam-Lay - This Is The Life (2006)
Big L - Doo Wop freestyle (1998)
DB Tha General - Rockin' In My Blues (2011)

Wednesday 25 June 2014

Pushaz Ink 2nd stringers >> Pusha-T solo

Fresh offa his appearance on my favourite posse cut of the month, YG's mate Slim 400 has a new Mustard slap with him playin' the front, and it bumps:

"Smokin' on some dynamite, touchin' on some black tail
Mr Bring The City Out, you bitches know the detail"

Slim 400 ft. TeeFlii - Kno Where The Party @
(From t'internet; 2014)

File this under ‘the best 8bit beats production of june 2014’ and ‘joints for those of us who think When I Was Gone should've been on My Krazy Life for real and not just a bonus track’

Tuesday 24 June 2014

It's ya boy Jeremy Dark Sun Riders

Wow, it's only the 2nd rap song about spacewhips in as many months. If A-Wax's Jetsons is the sound of a vintage 1956 Eldorado Seville Coupe taking off from the autobahn, then Flying Cars is what happens when Fabo from D4L returns to his second home of Japan to test drive a 2015 Lexus RX 350 which just happens to have an alien in the trunk. Started seein' spaceships on the castle from The Karate Kid Part II?

Fabo - Flying Cars
(From the internet; 2014)

Pretty apt that this has the word Flying in its title because, like Lil' Chris' Keep Your Head Up, that production sounds like it comes from a European TV commercial about tampons with wings. Anybody think of some other songs from the past 12 months with that exact same sound? If we can come up with 5 in total then we've officially got a new sub-genre on our hands: Tam-Rap/Rayner Muzik.

Monday 23 June 2014

Generic list post: Non de Replay edition

Real instrument replays in rap songs really do suck, but then you'll know that already if you've ever had to suffer UGK's debut album Too Hard To Swallow or had the misfortune to catch Public Enemy live with their lumpen Mordred-soundin' ass backing band over the past 14 years. You could hire a dream-team group comprised of members of The Bar Kays circa 1968 & The JB's circa 1972 and they'd still sound like an '80's chat show house-band the second they attempted to duplicate an Ultimate Breaks & Beats staple for someone to rap over.

Here's ten great real instrument rap songs which inexplicably bucked the curse of the replay by some sliver of luck, and ten of the worst real instrument rap songs which turned A grade source material into Z grade session-musician shite.

The Good:

Too $hort - The Ghetto (1990)
Treacherous Three - Body Rock (1980)
Dr Dre ft. Snoop, Kurupt & Nate Dogg - Next Episode (1999)
The Fearless Four - Rockin' It (1982)
UGK - Chrome Plated Woman (2007)
Eric B. & Rakim - Move The Crowd (1987)
Lil' Wayne ft. TQ & Big Tymers - Way Of Life (2002)
Curren$y - Famous (2010)
Super 3 - When You're Standing On The Top (1982)
HD of Bearfaced - No Pretendo (2013)

The Bad:

Sugar Hill Gang - Apache (Jump On It) (1981)
AZ ft. SWV - Hey AZ (1998)
Nas - Disciple (2004)
UGK - Cocaine In The Back Of The Ride (1992)
Treacherous Three - At The Party (1980)
Scarface - Mind Playin' Tricks '94 (1994)
Eric B. & Rakim - To The Listeners (1988)
KanYe West - Hey Mama (2005)
Grand Master Flash & The Furious 5 - It's Nasty (Genius Of Love) (1981)
Elzhi ft. Royce Da 5'9 & Stokley Williams - Life's A Bitch (2011)

Saturday 21 June 2014

Gone fishin'

Here's another recent example of multi-regional, shameless hook biting where the third song is the one which ended up with some money behind it and thus made its way into global rap radio rotation.

Lil' Chris - Godamn
(From Money Talks mixtape; 2013)

Bar-None from Too Much Trouble 2014 Lil' Chris' Gat Damn video drops back in july 2013, although the song is titled as Goddamn on his Money Talks mixtape which dropped a week or so later.

NMB Stunnaz - Got Damn
(From God Damn single; 2013)

A couple of months later in the twlight of august, Florida's NMB Stunnaz God Damn surfaces online and is scooped up by DJ Spinatik to feature on his Street Runnaz '77 (Streets On Lock) mixtape.

Rolls Royce Rizzy - Gah Damn
(From Gah Damn single; 2013)

A miliitary-brat who eventually settled in ATLanta, Rolls Royce Rizzy's Gah Damn first appeared sometime around november 2013 but didn't start making much noise until april of 2014 before the inevitable all-star remix with Twista, K Camp, Jermaine Dupri & Lil' Scrappy, and an east coast-friendly remix with Cassidy. In early june, Rizzy signed to So So Def.

Moral of this story? It coulda been Lil' Chris gettin' play on Westwood and signed to So So Def now on some Rap Game Time Bandits type flex with his boss Jermaine Dupri, but, hey, at least it wasn't Same Shit, Different Day or Keep Your Head Up that got jacked.

Wednesday 18 June 2014

Blk ppl on the internet & Migos

Hot 97's Ebro can't understand a word they're saying, Rap Radar's Captain Save-A-Elliot Brian "B.Dot" Miller thinks Drake made them irrelevant, Canada's most illustrious hip hop journalist Mindbender Futurama thought they were a him, and as for the self-styled "Bay Area Boosie" DB Tha General......

They invented the slap 1.5

"I wish a muthafucka would try to try me
Roman numeral number 4, kid, a IV
Chain go John Doe, no I.D
High speed through the I.E with a 9 piece"

RJ ft. KayEss - Shoulda Coulda
(From RJ & DJ Mustard's O.M.M.I.O mixtape; 2013)

^^^ Honourable mention to yesterday's Surf Dudes With Attitude, Kinda Slappin' compilation which got cut from the tracklist at the last moment because there was already 1 YG weed carrier present and I wanted NhT Boyz on there.

RJ & Mustard should have pushed this as a single instead of the Gone Ride With Me homage Ride Wit' Me because that hook was good enough for Lil' Reese and 2 Chainz to both outright gaffle it for On My Soul and Woulda Coulda Shoulda respectively.

Tuesday 17 June 2014

They invented the slap

Here's a RAR file of 15 slaps outta California from the past 12 months or so that've mostly gone unheralded across the rap internet even though you can do all the new dances wearing house shoes outside in the streets to them. Most of these songs have been posted on this site in some form previously by ya boy Craig Jerkins right chea, but here's all the MP3s with a handful of other tracks that are equally slappin' in one handy data dump.

Surf Dudes With Attitude, Kinda Slappin' (compilation)

1. Genasis - Touchdown (2013)
2. The 99 Percent - Shabooyah! (2014)
3. Ezale - Foreal Foreal (2013)
4. DB Tha General - Execute (2013)
5. Priceless Da Roc - Yike Stand (2014)
6. Show Banga ft. Sage The Gemini - I Been That (2014)
7. A-Wax - Jetsons (2014)
8. Rico Tha Kidd & DJ Upgrade - Hey Girl (2013)
9. Clyde Carson - No Sleep (2014)
10. Disko Boogie ft. Slim 400 & Killa Twan - All My Goons (2014)
11. Lil' Debbie - $lot Machine (2014)
12. Bobby Brackins ft. Clyde Carson & Ty$ - Big Body (2013)
13. Ben J of New Boyz - Save It For The Birds (2014)
14. Cousin Fik ft. Sage The Gemini, Clyde Carson, E-40 & Ty$ - Mr Moet remix (2013)
15. NhT Boyz - Yang Been Str8 (2013)


Sunday 15 June 2014

All I wanted was a Coco.... JUST ONE COCO!!!!!

If you haven't heard, Ice-T was once like Mike, H.R, & Schoolly all rolled into one, and just when it looked like the year's most amazing non-rap song featuring a rapper belonged to DJ Snake & Lil' Jon, Ice got Ernie C to strap his guitar back on. AP.9 might be a bit more young, and Ice should have never dumpied' Darlene for Coco's big saggy bum, but if Body Count's cover of Institutionalized isn't better than Turn Down For What then it's the closest one:

"He said do you realise how much sugar is in that kool aid?
I said do you realise how much blood is in the human body? Do you wanna see it, motherfucker?"

Body Count - Institutionalized 2014
(From Manslaughter album; 2014)

Hola Hollowmanvito. Let's not even front like all guitar music hasn't been a dead genre since Limp Bizkit's Break Stuff before Body Count returned.

Friday 13 June 2014

I asked you not to call me Goon, my name is Rocky

If you've been waitin' on a really cheap & nasty Ratchet version of We Dem Boyz then this is the song 4 u this summer:

"If you ain't with the shits you needta take ya ass home
All my motherfuckin' goons is on!"

Disko Boogie ft. Slim 400 & Killa Twan - All My Goons
(From the internet; 2014)

File this under ‘posse tracks involving YG's weed carrier Slim 400 that YG should have hopped on himself’ and ‘potential west coast gang$ta rap anthems that da kidz can create dances to on Vine’.

Thursday 12 June 2014

It was worth it!

The rookie Sacramento rapper/producer Selfmade bled for our entertainment when he fell off the hood of a moving car in his Stupid Clean video, so I feel obliged to post the MP3 of it now his debut mixtape is here. Song is still catchier than that summer cold currently doing the rounds, and dude lost skin tissue and vital fluids so we wouldn't have to go through that:

"Never rock the same shit - call me Mr. Clean
All mob, no talk - call me Mr. Bean"

Selfmade ft. Street Knowledge - Stupid Clean
(From Big Bizness mixtape; 2014)

Not had chance to listen to the rest of the 'tape yet but I'm hoping it contains more references to UK sitcoms and a couple of other tracks which sound like they're from a 2014 northern Californian analogue to DJ Mustard's Let's Jerk compilation.

Wednesday 11 June 2014

Martorial elegance # 75

Why did Bush knock down the towers? Why you around them cowards? Why do rappers wear ballet pump/bowling shoe-hybrid lookin' ass Prada sneakers? Why didn't Fast Life Yungstaz release Prada Walkin' as the follow up single to Swag Surfin'?

"Countin' big racks in the mountains is where you'll find me
Money in the air, make it rain and change the climate"

Fast Life Yungstaz - Prada Walkin'
(From Jamboree album; 2009)

Was Hit Man by Spoonie Gee & Teddy Riley the first steel drum-rap song or do we count Hip Hop On Wax 2 by DJ Red Alert?

Tuesday 10 June 2014

The unlikely scenario where A-Wax now makes better music than any of the Mob Figaz

Like ANU said in his post about Lay 'Em Down Twice, A-Wax's new album Pulling Strings album is shaping up very nicely indeed. Jetsons really does sound like it was made to be slapped in a flying car, and Trust Issues pulls my own strings in much the same way that The Shooter did last year:

"When I was young they had two things they assured me of: that was death and prison"

A-Wax - Trust Issues
(From the upcoming Pulling Strings album; 2014)

Petition to get noted A-Wax expert Rey to put together a compilation of deep cuts by the rapper with the worst neck tattoo ever starts here.

*EDIT* Ack Miller came through with an A-Wax compilation.

Monday 9 June 2014

Generic list post: Tuff City edition

Oi Aaron Fuchs - if I refrain from mentioning your alleged pecuniary shortcomings in this generic list post of my 12 favourite songs in the Tuff City Records catalogue, will you hook me up with an MP3 of that secrete & rare Black Rob remake of Spoonie Gee's Take It Off in return?

1. Spoonie Gee - Street Girl (1985)
2. Lakim Shabazz - Your Arm's Too Short To Box With God (1989)
3. Coldcrush Brothers - Fresh, Wild, Fly And Bold (1984)
4. The 45 King - The 900 Number (1988)
5. Davy DMX - One For The Treble (1984)
6. PHD ft. Cormega - Set It Off (1991)
7. YZ - In Control Of Things (1989)
8. Grandmaster Caz - Yvette (1985)
9. Ultramagnetic MC's - Biscuits And Eggs (1996)
10. The Flavor Unit - Flavor Unit Assassination Squad (1990)
11. Lord Alibaski - Top Gun (1989)
12. Priority One - I Can't Go For That (1988)

In recent years Questlove has been the chief besmircher of Tuff City's business practices, nonetheless Fuchs is responsible for releasing some of the best 12" singles of the 1980s, getting the Coldcrush Brothers to record their one great studio song, convincing Grandmaster Caz to lay his legendary Yvette live routine down on wax before LL Cool J could kinda flagrantly jack it, and discovering Lakim Shabazz.

What's Questlove ever done for the better of humanity other than make Pumpkin roll in his grave as The Roots sullied the reputation of rap music made with teh real instruments, and pass himself off as a music scholar whilst mispronouncing the names of Sex Pistols albums & Roxy Music members?

Friday 6 June 2014

Martorial elegance #74

Courtesy of Drew Huge, a 1983 Jonzun Crew press release with the quartet looking like Wolfgang Amstrad Mo√ęzart & The 3 Macketeers at Rick James' annual player's ball:

Please believe Jonzun Crew's outfits are 100% more masculine than any rapper wearing True Religion bootcut jeans and hideous Giuseppe Zanotti high-tops made out of pleather and 4 different velcro straps.

Jonzun Crew - Space Is The Place
(From Space Is The Place single; 1982/Lost In Space album; 1983)

Thursday 5 June 2014

Quavo can't dance like me, Offset can't dance like me

One of these days The 99 Percent will cotton on the fact that Double Dip is their masterpiece and shoot a video for it which unleashes an entire new dance craze on a hitherto undiscovered social media video site. Until then you'll have to make do with their second best song Shabooyah! as their latest single and the perfect counteragent to that unfortunately boring new Travis Porter mixtape:

The 99 Percent - Shabooyah!
(From Yike In It EP; 2014)

Sucks that they put a corny Young Thug cabaret song on their EP instead of their third best song Slow Down, Hold On, but how can you be mad at the lads who now have two entries in this current new golden-era of dance records with Yike In It and Shabooyah!?

Hey, let's come up with a comprehensive list of the best dance songs of the past couple of years. We got the two aforementioned 99 Percent tracks, Slow Down by Clyde Carson, Don't Drop That Thun Thun by Finatticz, Gas Pedal and Red Nose by Sage The Gemini, Panoramic by Dmac et al (*1), Yiken by Priceless Da Roc, Drop That #NaeNae by We Are Toonz, Fiesta by Sicko Mobb, FeFe On The Block by Stunt Taylor and maybe one other Bop song. What else?

(*1 I finally got Step One to edit Dmac out of Panoramic for me only to find I missed his verse.)


"So ladies we just ain't talkin' 'bout you
'Cause some of these n*ggas are bitches too!"

Ice-T - Bitches 2
(From O.G. Original Gangster album; 1991)

As chil'ren who learned everything we know about life from old Ice-T albums, Bitches 2 taught the Martorialist crew that the only acceptable form of hate is equal opportunity contempt. Thus, Trina & Lil' Mo's Shemix of K Camp & 2 Chainz's Cut Her Off comes as a much-welcome Gotta Hear Both Sides moment for the year's most overrated song, albeit one that Lil' Mo steals:

"Fuck him and his new bitch, I can give 2 shits
Especially since that was a bitch I used to be cool with"

Trina ft. Lil' Mo - Cut Her Off (Shemix)
(From the internet; 2014)

In an alternate universe where justice prevails, this will make the original irrelevant by the weekend, and K Camp's team will have no choice but to finally give 2014's best song about non-discriminatory contempt a push:

"I can't trust these n*ggas, I can't trust these hoes
Ohhhhhh nooooooooooooo"

K Camp - Oh No
(From Oh No single; 2014)

Wednesday 4 June 2014

Tuesday 3 June 2014

Yike Allen

Isn't it wonderful that a former Freestyle Friday champion like Priceless Da Roc can now avoid the post-106 & Park pitfalls of Posta Boy & Jin and end up carving out a career as the Sir Mix-A-Lot of Bay Area booty anthems? Fact: if more rappers based their careers on making dance songs about arses like Yiken and Priceless' latest slap Yike Stand, the world would be a much better place and nobody would have to record another Band Aid single; them kids in Africa don't need snow at Christmas when they can have Yike Vines 24/7 365 days a year instead.

Priceless Da Roc - Yike Stand
(From the internet; 2014)

That EMPIRE online label really need to turn their Yike 4 Life compilation into an ongoing series. They'd be the Street Sounds Electro compilations for the Hella Saucy generation.

Monday 2 June 2014

The Link Print

Very impressed to see the Dougie make an appearance in a British daytime quiz show that's primarily watched by pensioners/students/housewives/the unemployed/the housebound plus quiz TV show nerds watching it on iPlayer when they get home like moi:

Actual facts: the Dougie's definitive moment on film still comes from its creator during the Guess Who? intro at The Rooftop in the Keep Rising To The Top video. If only IRL rap shows were like this:

Doug E. Fresh & The Get Fresh Crew - Keep Risin' To The Top
(From The Worlds Greatest Entertainer album; 1988)

Sunday 1 June 2014

Attn: Louisiana rap fans

This new Pyrex Radio 7 (Sex, Drugs & Money) mixtape by Big Jay & Dirty Glove Bastard is worth a quick shake since it features Max Minelli's best song of the year, plus a grip of exclusive shit like two tracks by Fiend in Whomp Whomp-mode, and a Mouse On Tha Track & C-Lo song that's a homage to Sickness and the first time 'Loc has touched down on a Mouse beat since 1 Rubber: