Tuesday, 13 April 2021

Shinola songs from the shittiest artists

Talking about the Chili Peppers' Give It Away and Metallica's Enter Sandman in this post got me thinkin' about other elite examples of songs I love by artists I loathe. Not so much One Song Wonders in the vein of Jay Electronica's Exhibit C, more detestable artists who somehow managed one Godly fluke in an otherwise ghastly catalogue Γ  la Weak Become Heroes by The Streets. Here's five diamonds from their artist's respective seas of shite - all genres, all gems.

Tricky ft. Martina Topley-Bird - Christiansands
(From Pre-Millennium Tension album; 1996)

You, a square: Tricky's Maxinquaye is the Illmatic of the Hardcore Continuum.

Me, a connoisseur: STFU Grimey Simey junior. Christiansands is the one song where Tricky's Worzel Gummidge whisper wap doesn't sound like a wet fart after a night on the cider. For that we can thank his backing vocalist bird, the subtle use of a Slick Rick sample, and John Woo for giving the song big villain's penthouse energy in Face/Off.

U2 - Desire
(From Rattle & Hum soundtrack; 1988)

You, a square: I hate U2, you hate U2, we all hate U2. Really doe, Brian Eno coaxed a few jams outta them in the 90's.

Me, a connoisseur: I wanna talk to you shorty 'cause you be trippin' sometimes. There was nowt more embarrassing than 90's U2 tryna be all arch and knowing. U2's one legit 10/10 classic came at the arse-end of their Christian cowboy cosplay era when they brought out the Bo Diddley beat for Desire. The result: MTV's answer to Mystic Eyes innit.

Big Sean - Paradise (single version)
(From Paradise single; 2014)

You, a square: I can't stand Big Sean but I can't front on the A$$ remix or I don't F*ck With You.

Me, a connoisseur: You all up in Da Game with the answers missin'. As anyone who went to a Westwood party in 2014 knows, Paradise is the one song where Big Sean's hyperactive valley girl steez worked. In my personal canon of Detroit spazz-Rap, Paradise is the mainstream club banger counterpoint to Pablo Skywalkin's All Facts.

Cliff Richard & The Drifters - Move It
(From Move It single; 1958)

You, a square: I refuse to believe that Tennis-loving Tory nonce Cliff Richard has ever made a good song.

Me, a connoisseur: Me too TBF until I heard Move It. The Truth like Beanie first LP: Move It would be universally acknowledged as the G.O.A.T British Rock & Roll banger of the 50's if it didn't belong to Clifftiano Richnaldo.

Azealia Banks - Miss Amor
(From Broke With Expensive Taste album; 2014)

You, a square: I wish Azealia Banks would stop being such a troll edgelady and start putting out great music like 212 again.

Me, a connoisseur: LMFAO she's a far better troll than she is a rapper, m8. 212 was just a dry-run for Miss Amor where she did her usual Ya Kid K karaoke over an R&S Records classic and accidentally recorded a lost Lil' Kim song from Diddy's Last Train To Paris album.

Friday, 9 April 2021

True story or no story: back for 2021

"Bitch, I know my mathematics, I just keep countin'
Another sucker in the dirt and he ain't sprountin'
Ain't no playin' in that water, n*gga, they drownin'
They ain't even comin' outside, n*gga, they grounded
Bitch, you know that I'm the shit, you can't piss me off
I just called God, he missed mi call
I get in that pot, my wrist evolve
Never had a pet, I miss mi dog"

Mac J - Gotta Grudge
(From Tricky Situation EP; 2021)

Ah, that's more like it from Mac J. Subaquatic slap, sub-zero zingers, a soupcon of vulnerability, and he's actually spent time composing a chorus. His best song since Sparky or wot?

Thursday, 8 April 2021

Wax on, piss off

A buncha unreleased peak-era Casual songs? YAY! A 'vinyl driven release'? NAY!

Limited edition boutique Rap records are for Hypebeast teenagers on Instagram and middle-aged men who'd be stamp collectors or model railway enthusiasts if they'd never discovered Hip-Hop. Wax is a vastly-overrated format anyway - I give 12" singles their props but that's where it stops because vinyl has always been a useless format for Rap albums. Picture me paying money for an album on a format I can't play in a car or I can't even program out all the stupid skits about farts and blowjobs? GTFOH and take your pleas for crowd funding with you, m8.

Someone tell Dante he can keep the song with Everlast, though. I dunno what if it's Plastic Paddy-era Everlast or Wooden Guthrie-era Everlast but ain't nobody wanna hear any incarnation of that guy on a 90's Casual song.

Tuesday, 6 April 2021

Generic list post: can you believe 1991 was 30 years ago? (part 2)

The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu - It's Grim Up North
(From single; 1991)

Was 1991 as good a year for Other Genres™ as it was for Rap? This is the post where I prove that, yes, it was even tough that damn Bryan Adams song from Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves was utterly inescapable for most of the year.

LFO - We Are Back
Nirvana - Breed
SL2 - Way In My Brain
Massive Attack ft. Shara Nelson - Unfinished Sympathy
Slint - Nosferatu Man
Prince & The New Power Generation - Cream
Second Phase - Mentasm
Teenage Fanclub - The Concept
ESG - Erase You
Junior Reid - Banana Boat Man
Paperclip People - Oscillator (Electronic Flirtation Device)
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give It Away
808 State - In Yer Face
A Guy Called Gerald - Sunshine
Soundgarden - Rusty Cage
Aretha Daye ft. MC Chan - No More (Making Love)
Talk Talk - Ascension Day
Jodeci - Treat U
Electronic - Getting Away With It
Cajmere ft. Dajae - Brighter Days
Helmet - Sinatra (Peel Session version)
Shades Of Rhythm - Sound Of Eden
Genesis - I Can't Dance
K-Klass - Rhythm Is A Mystery
Seaweed - One Out Of Four
The Ragga Twins - Hooligan '69
The Brand New Heavies ft. N'Dea Davenport - Never Stop
Metallica - Enter Sandman
The Source ft. Candi Staton - You Got The Love (1991 mix)
En Vogue - You Don't Have To Worry
The Todd Terry Project - Never Give Up (Melody Mix)
Thee Headcoats - Girl Of Matches
The Prodigy - Your Love
Madonna - Justify My Love
The House Crew - Keep The Fire Burning
My Bloody Valentine - Only Shallow
Crystal Waters - Gypsy Woman (She's Homeless)
Fugazi - Steady Diet
2 Bad Mice - Bombscare
Sounds Of Blackness -
Moby - Go (radio edit)
Throwing Muses - Counting Backwards
Altern-8 - Activ-8 (Come With Me)
Monster Magnet - Snake Dance
Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam - Let The Beat Hit 'Em
Born Against - Jock Gestapo
Shabba Ranks - Trailer Load Of Girls
Future Sound Of London - Papua New Guinea
Guns N' Roses - You Could Be Mine
Masters At Work - 69 Steps

Bonus thoughts:

Amazing year for British dance music or wot? Arguably the first year where the U.K overtook the U.S for sheer quantity of quality choonage.

Of course the best song from Massive Attack's first album was the one which didn't feature any Bwistolian whisper stoner wap vocals by 3D or Tricky.

I hate the Red Hot Chili Peppers but Give It Away is a legit 10/10 jam and if it's good enough for Pimp C then it's good enough for me.

I also hate Metallica but Enter Sandman is another legit 10/10 jam and if it's good enough for an entire country squeezed into a field then it's good enough for me.

Seaweed's One Out Of Four was the Generation X teenage skater boi's equivalent of the Brand New Radicals' You Get What You Give.

Madonna's Justify My love was a late 1990 song which didn't fully blossom until 1991.

I only discovered Masters At Work's 69 Steps a couple of weeks ago but it's a killer choon which is way better than the other 1991 MAW track which became a U.K Rave classic when played at 45 RPM.

Saturday, 3 April 2021


P-Lo - Boomerang
(From Boomerang single; 2020)

Since my comments turned into a surprise P-Lo fanclub meeting the other day, here's another of his recent singles I'm all over like Heinz ketchup on fish & chips (other ketchup brands are available!) Much like Yours and Get Me Lit, Boomerang puts the Fun into Function Music and comes as a welcome relief when so much current NorCal Rap is barely functional. Seriously - have you looked at Thizzler or Siccness recently? Both sites are near-endless successions of wannabe Da Boii, Mozzy and Lil' Yase clones whose music has more tickle than slap. Rap's grim up North California right now so these P-Lo singles are a much-needed blapp of Vitamin D.

Wednesday, 31 March 2021

Generic list post: March 2021

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Necro's brother from Non Phixion was lookin' a bit rough.
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Jeff Waz On The Beatbox (live) (1989)
Coop MC - Blue Sunday (1995)
Money Boss Players - Yeah (199?/2021)
KLC ft. Mannie Fresh - No Place Like Home (2006/2021)
Digital Underground ft. J. Stalin - Hyphy Hump (2010)
P-Lo - Yours (2021)
City Girls - Twerkulator (2021)
Masters At Work - 69 Steps (1991)
Beabadoobee - Last Day On Earth (2021)

Other notables: fair play - Frankie Tha Lucky Dog's song with Level is a jam; two very unexpected comebacks this month with Snaggapuss and Pretty Tone Capone; Flo Milli's Back Pack (Flora The Explorer) gives me weird feels - like I'm far too old to be listening to this song; I'm bored shitless of new Rap songs which are under two minutes and have nothing resembling a chorus.

Saturday, 27 March 2021

Operation CB

You, a square: upon initial contact with this trendy new drumless Rap album, I can deduce that it has redefined how Rappers use negative space to find previously-unexplored new pockets.

Me, a connoisseur: M8, City Girls combined Planet Rock with Percolator and the results are pure Miami Bass Poison Quim madness.

City Girls - Twerkulator
(From the internet; 2021)

Apparently this song got officially cock-blocked by sample clearance. Gonna hazard a guess that Bambaataa was asking for too big a bag since the noncing allegations have left him broke and hiding out in Germany. Never forget!

Wednesday, 24 March 2021

God bless YouTube: Jeff & Will Waz On The Box

Rippin' up Showtime At The Apollo in 1989, it's Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince performing Jeff Waz On The Beatbox. Alas, the Apollo crowd were not as receptive to Jeff & Will's charms as the Union Square crowd because there's a stark contrast in energy levelz between artists on the stage and audience in the seats.

Alongside The Girlie Had A Mustache, Jeff Waz On The Beatbox is one of the two tape/CD bonus tracks from the shitty third Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince album which bodies everything on the regular LP. Them crackas at Jive™ f*cked things up big Willie style by relegating both songs to bonus status when they shoulda been the third album's two main singles: Jeff Waz On The Beatbox is a far better tribute to Jazzy Jeff's human-Octopus DJ skillz than Jazzy's Groove, while The Girlie Had A Mustache bangs way harder as a Fresh Prince storytelling yarn than the frankly Godawful I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson. Plus, imagine how hilariously #problematic a video for The Girlie Had A Mustache could be by modern day Cancel Culture standards, right?

Tuesday, 23 March 2021

Late pass!

"It's gettin' hot in herre so take off all your nose
I am gettin' so hot that I'm about to take my nose off"

Digital Underground ft. J. Stalin- Hyphy Hump
(From The Greenlight EP; 2010)

As the popular parlance goes, I was today years old when I found out that Digital Underground recorded a Hyphy sequel to The Humpty Dance which interpolates Nelly's Hot In Herre. A legit slumpah which isn't that big a shock since Digital Underground were poppin' pills and wearin' stunna shades in NorCal decades before Mac Dre.

Related thought: is Packet Man (Worth A Packet Mix) the only good CJ Mackintosh remix ever or wot? Shit sounds like a New Jack Swing track produced by Khayree, which is obviously some wonderful shit to sound like.

Sunday, 21 March 2021

God didn't make you funky

"Pause for the cause, mouthwash wouldn't hurt at all
Stop tounge-kissing basketballs"

Lord Sear - Ya Mouth Stink
(From Hello! (The Wake Up Call) 12" single; 2000)

B-Side Wins Again from the Mr. Bongo era. Guru made halitosis a hot skit, Lord Sear made it a hot song. This ain't a joke, this ain't a game no mo', this is peak Reality-Rap for doz who brought their nasty niffs through the door. Maximum musical synergy here because Lord Sear's production on this is as funky as the bad breath depicted in his rhymes. It's all luv to 1997's Alcoholic Vibes but Ya Mouth Stink is the song where Sear's radio persona best translated to wax.

It's a pity Sear didn't drop another single with his old C.M Mob famalam DOOM on the production job.

Saturday, 20 March 2021

Truly Yours

P-Lo - Yours
(From Yours EP; 2021)

Now that's what I call Sang-Rap! Yours is the song which has officially earned P-Lo his Shmobby Brackins pseudonym. Same Squad proved that P-Lo could write/produce a million dollar solo choon which should be the biggest song in California, but who'd a thunk he'd conjure up the Bay Area R&Bass equivalent of My Boo eh? HBK Gang Bass All Stars Vol. 1 coming soon?

Bonus beats: last year's Get Me Lit was one of those songs I loved which nobody else on the Rap internet gave a f*ck about. Oh well, there's no accounting for everybody else's bad taste ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

P-Lo - Get Me Lit
(From the internet; 2020/Yours EP; 2021)

Monday, 15 March 2021

Generic list post: can you believe 1991 was 30 years ago?!?

Transitional, pan-regional, transcendent, pandemonium...

Best way to describe Rap in 1991 - all of the above or with this 50 song list below? A Wonderful 12 months in Rap that I'm still findin' jams from 30 years later. An annum of last hurrahs, grand entrances, artistic peaks, all-time anthems, and sustained plateaus. Let's party like it's 1991 - in a disused Essex warehouse or a Seattle high school gymnasium.

Ice-T - New Jack Hustler
Eric B. & Rakim - Juice (Know The Ledge)
Ice Cube - Steady Mobbin'
N.W.A - Real N*ggaz Don't Die
Slick Rick - Bond
Mac Dre - Da Gift To Gab
Geto Boys - My Mind's Playing Tricks On Me
Scarface - Money And The Power
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Summertime
Digital Underground ft. 2Pac - Same Song
2Pac - Tha Lunatic
Nice & Smooth - Hip Hop Junkies
Gang Starr - Form Of Intellect
Naughty By Nature - O.P.P.
Cypress Hill - Light Another
Black Sheep - Try Counting Sheep
De La Soul - Ring Ring Ring (Ha Ha Hey)
A Tribe Called Quest - Buggin' Out
Leaders Of The New School - Case Of The P.T.A
KMD ft. Brand Nubian - Nitty Griity
Grand Puba - Fat Rat
M.C Breed & DFC - Ain't No Future In Yo Frontin'
Main Source - Looking At The Front Door
Big Daddy Kane - Nuff Respect
Kool G. Rap & D.J Polo - Bad To The Bone (Street Remix)
Biz Markie - What Goes Around Comes Around
Kid Capri - Don't Sweat Me
DJ Quik - Tonite
2nd II None - If You Want It
D-Nice - 25 Ta Life
Pete Rock & CL Smooth - All Souled Out
Heavy D ft. Kool G. Rap, Grand Puba, CL Smooth, Big Daddy Kane etc - Don't Curse
Above The Law - 4 The Funk Of It
MC Lyte - Poor Georgie
Positive K - Night Shift
The Convicts - Free World
Chubb Rock - Just The Two Of Us
Too $hort - So You Want To Be A Gangster
MC Pooh - Sex, Money & Murder
Showbiz & A.G. - Giant In The Mental
Compton's Most Wanted - Def Wish
Black A.G. - No Typa Drugdeala
A.Z. Of MobStyle - Don't Dis Nobody
Freestyle Fellowship - Legal Alien
Organized Konfusion - Prisoners Of War
Del Tha Funkee Homosapien - The Wacky World Of Mass Transit
Ed O.G. & Da Bulldogs - I Got To Have It
PHD ft. Cormega - Set It Off
Public Enemy - By The Time I Get To Arizona
39 Posse - Got What It Takes To Make It

Bonus thoughts: I'm genuinely jealous of folk who got to grow up listening to those early Mac Dre EPs; O.P.P. has always been my fave song from Naughty By Nature's first album so I'm happy it's gone from being overplayed to being not played enough; lots of potential honourable mentions here but the two I'm gonna choose are Kraftworks by the UMC's and Easy Star by Poor Righteous Teachers; Tim Dog can, indeed, suck a big fat dick.

Saturday, 13 March 2021

If your name's not down, you're not comin' in

Duke Deuce ft. Offset - Gangsta Party
(From Duke Nukem album; 2021)

WHAT DA FUUUUUUUUUUUUUK are Rappers thinkin' by adding Migos guest verses to their songs in 2021? The old adage goes it only takes two people to get a party started, but Duke Deuce woulda been far better off dancing with himself on this one. Gangsta Party is the only song from Duke's latest album which might have as good as Yeh, Crunk Ain't Dead, Bad News and Fat Mac if only he'd have hit Offset with a "not tonight, buddy" at the door. Let's stop the bullshit already, Rap would be a far better place in 2021 if Migos had never existed and Travis Porter had got the beats for Hannah Montana, YRN and Fight Night instead.

Tuesday, 9 March 2021

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday...

Coop MC - Blue Sunday
(From Home Of The Killers album; 1995)

T-Funk! If Coop MC had been from Houston rather than Fort Worth would Blue Sunday be to Texas what MC Eiht's Streiht Up Menace is to California? I ain't qualified to answer that question tbqh. All I can say with any degree of certainty is that Blue Sunday is one of those Rap songs which will have you pondering your own mortality on any given day of the week. Everybody dies, B - you tuff, you'll be aiight.

Saturday, 6 March 2021

Surprise, surprise!

First another member of The Fat Boys carks it, then some unreleased Money Boss Players songs come out, now KLC's shelved The Drum Major album finally drops in full. Been waitin' on this shit since its lead single from 2006.

KLC ft. Fiend & Callicoe - Play It Loud
(From single; 2006/The Drum Major album; 2021)

Nice touch to have Paco Troxclair's Duffy on there even though it's from last decade. An even nicer touch is KLC & Mannie Fresh both giving Hurricane Katrina the finger on their Big Tyme love letter to New Orleans No Place Like Home. Had this song come out in 2006 it woulda been the best ode to the NOLA since 5th Ward Weebie's Supa Sunday In N.O.

"Now, let's talk about this bitch Katrina
F*cked over the city and soaked my Beamer
But it's aiiight, I got money from FEMA
And my new whip is so much cleaner"

KLC ft. Mannie Fresh - No Place Like Home
(From the vaults; 2006/The Drum Major album; 2021)

That "RE-UP!!" ad lib tho.

Friday, 5 March 2021

God bless YouTube: Keepin' The Faith

Something I learned today: Ed Lover & Doctor DrΓ© had a 1990 Yo! MTV Raps spin-off called Da Show where Faith No More performed Epic and Edge Of The World live. Check out Mike Patton rigged out in pyjamas + Doc Marten boots, Ed & DrΓ© doing Doo Wop backing vocals on the latter song, and Roseanne Barr's cameo at the end. Makes sense that Ed & DrΓ© would have Faith No More on their show since FNM were the best Rap-friendly Rock band of that era, but still a pleasant surprise on the Worlds Are Colliding™ tip.

From what little online info there is about Da Show, it seems that it was just a one-off special. Pity it didn't blossom into a proper series which ran throughout 1990 with a buncha Worlds Are Colliding™ live performances eh? Picture the cameras rollin as Ed Lover did his Dance while Jane's Addiction played Been Caught Stealing or EMF performed Unbelievable or Suicidal Tendencies brought the house down with Send Me Your Money or Depeche Mode ran through Enjoy The Silence or Danzig knocked out Devil's Plaything or Sonic Youth hit a rendition of Kool Thing or Happy Mondays shambled through Kinky Afro or Slayer cranked out Seasons In The Abyss - such a show woulda been the ultimate Yo! MTV Raps soundclash with 120 Minutes and Headbanger's Ball.

Thursday, 4 March 2021

Foe Tha Love Of Money Boss

Things done changed on the Rap Internet when I'm findin' out about a new album of unreleased/rare Money Boss Players songs via Bobby Dee rather than Robbie Ett. Minnesota should just release a double CD Money Boss discography that retails for no more than $20 and isn't some stupid limited edition thing which you only have a 5 minute 3 a.m window to cop. Buying a new Rap CD - can it be all so simple again?

Tuesday, 2 March 2021


Conclusive proof that Humpty Hump put the fun into funky via Digital Underground & 2Pac's performance of Same Song in the long-forgetten Dan Aykroyd movie Nothing But Trouble. Highlights include 2Pac in his very first movie appearance pretending to sing the hook, lowlights include Aykroyd as a decrepit Scottish judge who looks like a melted Xmas candle.

Nothing But Trouble is categorically not a good movie. It is, however, a pretty bizarre movie, so a performance of Digital Underground's other song from the soundtrack would have fit right in; Tie The Knot is a song that nobody other than Digital Underground could have ever made and plz believe that's nuttin' but a compliment.

Both Same Song and Tie The Knot later appeared on Digital Underground's This Is An EP Release, which was one of young Marty's favourite tapes of 1991. Bugs me out that EP came out 30 years ago this summer because it's older than some of this blog's readers. Shout out Norma Desmond - I'm not old, it's the people that got young.

Sunday, 28 February 2021

Generic list post: February 2021

Team Toon ft. Ya Boy Big Choo - My Hot Girl
(From My Hot Girl; 2016)

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Ricky Powell, Prince Markie Dee, and Blaza Da Beat Contractor all went back to the essence. You probably ain't familiar with Blaza but he was the New Orleans Bounce producer behind the boards for Ya Boy Big Choo, ReUp Reedy, 5th Ward Weebie's Club Luv, and Team Toon's R&Bounce classic My Hot Girl. R.I.P to the lads.

Foxx - Friends (2011)
CeeFineAss ft. MoneyBagg Yo - Payback 2.0 (2020)
Cellski - Clappin' (2021)
Devin The Dude - To Each His Own (2021)
TREE - For Y'all (2021)
Cookiee Kawaii - Rather Be (2020)
A Guy Called Gerald - Bad Boy Ride (1994/2012)
Real Lies - Boss Trick (2020)
Years & Years - It's A Sin (2021)

Other notables: Mouse On Tha Track's Knees Like Megan is more TikTok bait than track but still a step back in the right direction for him; nothing on Duke Deuce's new album is really stickin' for me - very disappointing since he's made a handful of my favourite songs over the past couple of years; Jim Jones is such a gym bore now that even his music videos are just extended work-out clips; it was inevitable that two dirtbag saltines like Yelawolf and Caskey would make an album together.

Bonus reading: had fun reminiscing about 2011 Rap and live performances on The Word.

Saturday, 27 February 2021

Rum, Artillery & The Lash

"When I roll one deep, got the pistol in my drawerssss
When I roll four deep, not a pistol at alllllllll"

TREE - For Y'all
(From Soul Trap album; 2021)

Loadsa Rappers can make smash-a-face bar fight music, but only a select few can make shitfaced pub singalong music. As Schoolly D nearly said, this ain't Soul Trap... this Pogues Trap! FRESH FOR ST. PATRICK'S DAY 2021, YOU SUCKAZ!!!

Previously: TREE of life.

Tuesday, 23 February 2021

Generic list post: can you believe 2011 was a decade ago?

'Twas the year of Drake becoming inescapable, Nate Dogg's death, Camel & KanYe's Otis, J. Cole's rise, Tyler The Creator's Yonkers, Heavy D's peaceful journey from the house to the hearse, Big Sean blowin' up, Azealia Banks' 212, Yelawolf's album on Shady Records, and the A$AP Rocky okie-doke... but let's not hold any of that against 2011 eh?

2011 was the peak year of the blog-Rap era, which was both a gift and a curse: on one hand, I found so much quality music via blogs; on the other hand, the Rap internet was awash with terrible blogs by delusional Wavery lads desparete to ride Yams' coattails. Whateva, man - variety is one of life's spices rather than one of its vices, so 2011 is a Helluva enjoyable Rap year to turn into a list.

Young Bleed - Stamp On It
E-40 ft. B-Legit & Stresmatic - Rear View Mirror
Juicy J - Who Da Neighbors
Mic Terror - Chief Sampson
Hollywood Holt & Million $ Mano - The Show
Meek Mill ft. Young Chris - House Party
Gunplay - No Arm And Hammer
Lady - Pussy
DJ Quik ft. Suga Free & Ty Dolla $ign - Nobody
Tyga - Rack City
Danny Brown - Lincoln Continental
Bo Deal ft. Mello G Blanca - Safe Sex
Husalah - Da Mob
The Jacka ft. Laroo & J. Stalin - All We Do (Remix)
Joe Blow - The Dopest
Sir Michael Rocks ft. Shorty K & Tris J - Too $hort Back
Max B - South Wave
French Montana ft. Charlie Rock - Shot Caller
Chinx Drugz - Superlight
Treal Lee & Prince Rick - Shoes Up
Kreayshawn - Gucci Gucci
DB Tha General - Upgrade Em 2
N.O.R.E - N.O.R.E Shot Somebody
Fam-Lay ft. Project Pat - Money Makin' Trick
Rich Boy - All I Know
TREE - Trouble
A-Mafia - Foldin' $100 Billz
Mouse On Tha Track - Swagger Fresh Freddie
Foxx - Friends
Webbie ft. Lil' Phat - What's Happenin'
Lil' Phat ft. Mannie Fresh - Talk Some Mo Shit
Boosie & B.G. - 187
Black Rob - Up North
Mysonne - In Jail
Jackie Chain ft. Bun B - Parked Outside
King Louie - We Like To Party
Travis Porter - College Girl
Rich Kidz ft. Young Thug - $100 Autograph
Fat Trel - Rolling
LoveRance ft. IamSu & Skipper - UP!
Roc Marciano - My Persona
$tarlito - Rather Be With You
Yo Gotti ft. Zed Zilla - Bang Bang (video version)
Pac Div - Posted
Waka Flocka Flame & Slim Dunkin - Twin Towers 2 (Intro)
Wooh Da Kid - I Prefer
TKO Capone - Louis Gucci
Ike Eyes - Blue Roxies
Katie Got Bandz - I Need A Hitta (O.G video version)
Rittz ft. Yelawolf & Big K.R.I.T - Fulla Shit
Kendrick Lamar - A.D.H.D
Soulja Boy - Zan With That Lean Part 2
Boldy James ft. Tennille - Concrete Connie
HD Of Bearfaced - 40 Glock USA (Remix)
Future - Same Damn Time
A$AP Rocky ft. A$AP Twelvy & A$AP Nast - Trilla
Giggs - Monster Man

Bonus thoughts: one of the many great things about Young Bleed's Stamp On It is that you can have the edited low bitrate video version in your 2006 list and then put the explicit CDQ album version in your 2011 list; of course, you could have Young Bleed's Holla At Uh Dog in your 2011 list instead and it'd be an equally great selection; Trilla is the ONLY song which justifies A$AP Mob's existence as rappers although 80% of that song's appeal is the beat & the hook; I don't care that King Louie's We Like To Party is still officially unreleased a decade on because I first heard that song in 2011; Giggs' Monster Man absolutely deserves to be on this list because it's as good as any American song and it's a song no American could ever make; I'm annoyed to learn that Cousin Fik's No Gravity is #actually from 2010 because I love that song like Frank Bruno loves Harry; the saddest song of 2011 was Dhat Fam & Mista's Expose One since both members of Dhat Fam were murdered for making it.

Sunday, 21 February 2021

Johnny Come Lately The Foxx

"I remember when I couldn't get a ride, befo' I learned how to drive
Soon as I got a whip, n*ggas was ride or die
I really ain't have no money, hoes was actin' jive
Gave me the wrong number, hurted a n*gga pride
Now I'm runnin' across 'em and givin' 'em the same line
Givin' 'em the same number, knowin' it ain't mine"

Foxx - Friends
(From I'm Better Than Blessed mixtape; 2011)

Foxx single which passed me by back in 2011. Solo dolo Rouge Blues in the vein of Stressed Out, I Wonder or Man In The Mirror. It's a damn shame Foxx didn't get to release a 2nd album for Trill Entertainment back in 2012 or so, especially since the label continues to drop increasingly shitty Webbie Savage Life albums from 05 'til infinity.

Wednesday, 17 February 2021

God bless YouTube: I Will Survive

YAY: an amazing clip of Melle Mel & Duke Bootee lip-syncing their Electro VΓ©ritΓ© classic Message II (Survival) on some German TV show in 1983.

NAY: hang on - that's not Duke, it's Rahiem from the Furious Five just like in the video for The Message. Yet more shiesty Duke Bootee erasure by Sugar Hill Records or wot?

AYO: word around town, Melle Mel's Zed from Zardoz lookin' outfit was the tipping point which forced Run-D.M.C to flip Rap's whole sartorial script with their Adidas tracksuits, Lee jeans, and Double Goose bomber jackets.

MAYBE: was Melle Mel's outfit the inspiration for 2Pac's infamous studded leather vest? 'Pac thought he was Mob Piru but looked more like a Crippendale in that thing.

Monday, 15 February 2021

TREE of Life

TREE - Floatin'
(From Soul Trap album; 2021)

Son, as long as the talent and spark is there, son, MC TREE G is gon' grow, God. MC TREE G is gon' grow like a sapling.

TREE really floated ova da wudz with this one. Proper evergreen pulp diction pre-order from the new MC TREE G stock right here. Lookin' forward to the album sprouting 4 real next week.

Sunday, 14 February 2021

Let me find out you thought this was EPMD!

CeeFineAss ft. MoneyBagg Yo - Payback 2.0
(From Welcome To My City album; 2020/YouTube; 2021)

Very rare modern instance of a remix ya host prefers to the original. Nothing to do with the presence of MoneyBagg Yo, everything to do with the More Ounce To The Bounce pressure lettin' Miss Cee go full 69th Ward Ceebie.

(Actually, that's a tad unfair to MoneyBagg Yo since "bring your luggage and your phone but no feelings in here" is a great line on the hotel, motel, Holiday Inn tip.)

Saturday, 13 February 2021

Homeliss - that's my homepiss

"Now this is just to get some thoughts out there
And f*ck who's offended because I just don't care"

Homeliss Derilex - F*ck You!
(From Homeliss Derilex cassette; 1993)

Unpopular but undeniable opinion: Homeliss Derilex are the ownerz of Rap's best F*ck You song. I don't dig them jokes and, yo, I back up my quotes so lemme explain why - ig'nant west coast underground Gang Starr was a difficult steez to pull off but Homeliss Derilix nailed it here like Chris & Snoop.

Monday, 8 February 2021

God bless YouTube

A long time ago on TV sets here in the U.K there was a ramshackle yoof show called The Word. Filmed in Manchester on friday nights it benefitted hugely from Yank artists being in town for live shows and consequently ended up featuring the British TV performance debuts of Generation X big hitters like Cypress Hill, Snoop, The Pixies and Nirvana.

Factor in the performances by EMF, 808 State & MC Tunes, Public Enemy, Snow, Blur, Rage Against The Machine, Shabba Ranks & Marky Mark, D:Ream, Huggy Bear, Jamiroquai, L7, Mary J. Blige, Oasis, Goldie, Dog Eat Dog, Gravediggaz, Jon Spencer Blues Explosion and The Word's archives amount to a warts & all snapshot of the early nineties musical zeitgeist.

Naturally, yours truly had a compilation VHS tape of the show's best live clips which got rocked until the tape sadly popped sometime in the early noughties. Thankfully, in the years since all the performances have turned up on YouTube - all except The Pharcyde's rendition of Ya Mama, that is. Well, guess what I've just found on the 'Tube, lads!

Bonus beats: the two greatest performances in The Word's history were Oliver Reed's shitfaced rendition of Wild Thing and Onyx's barnstorming version of Throw Ya Gunz, the latter of which is essentially an extended stage invasion by the Moss Side mandem.

Bonus bonus beats: the most underrated Rap performance in The Word's history was Craig Mack doing the Q-Tip remix of Get Down during Mack & Biggie's Bad Boy U.K tour of 1995 - specifically, underrated by me since I've only come around to accepting the remix is better than the original in recent years.

In hindsight, The Word's head honcho Terry Christian probably regrets booking Mack instead of a Biggie performance of the One More Chance remix. But the reason The Word was so very special™ is that it's the only TV show on Earth to have performance clips of Ya Mama, Throw Ya Gunz and the Get Down remix in its archive - singles which weren't the respective artist's largest hits but are still legitimate classics.

Much like Big Poppa, we'll always miss The Word here at The Martorialist. That said, since The Word went off air in 1995 appearances on U.K TV by The Charlatans have dropped by 70% - silver linings eh?

Saturday, 6 February 2021

C-Ski Beatz

Cellski - Still Clappin'
(From Uncle Cell album; 2021)

Bona fide Dope Fiend Beat blues courtesy of Cellski - some proper mogadon mob music slap. It's a pity Uncle Cell doesn't produce more beats because that man has BEEN knowin' how to construct a Slap Classico since the Young Cellski days of Streets Of Frisco. Lest we forget that man was also behind the boards for Won't Be Right.

The Jacka ft. Cellski - Won't Be Right
(From Tear Gas album; 2009)

If you can listen to Won't Be Right and not end up shirtless and screaming "I JUST WANNA CLAP ALL MY ENEMIES" by midway through the first chorus then are we listening to the same song, bro?

Bonus beats: 2 Sticks was too lowkey to be the lead single from Cellski's new album. However, if you flip it and bounce it into the B-side for Still Clappin' then its Quiet Storm subtleness hits hella different.

Cellski - 2 Sticks
(From Uncle Cell album; 2021)

Tuesday, 2 February 2021

Homeboy throw in the towel, ya flick got took by Ricky Powell

Damn! Smoke an invisible Jazz cigarette for Ricky Powell. Those mutton chops he sported in later life made him resemble Vassily the Meerkat but it's all pumpernickel because he's the only man to ever look fly in Pony kicks. If a picture is worth a thousand words then the Rickster's best pix were on some Moby Dick type shit. Here's ya host's top five favourite Ricky P flickaronies.
Bonus snap: Rickoi even shot the most quintessentially Edan pic of Edan ever.

Monday, 1 February 2021

One 4 the Britz: Boyz-n-the-Club

The Streets - Weak Become Heroes
(From Original Pirate Material album; 2002)

Not a lotta people know this but ya host is a big fan of Weak Become Heroes by chirpoi Brummoi c*nt Mike "The Streets" Skinner. It's the one thing Skinner ever recorded where I found his inherent cringe-factor endearing rather than embarrassing, and the song struck a perfect balance between British kitchen sink melancholy and Balearic dancefloor magic. The latter can also be said of Real Lies 2020 single Boss Trick, thus it's the true heir to Weak Become Heroes in the canon of Everything But The Pet Shop Boy-core.

Real Lies - Boss Trick
(From 2020 releases bundle EP; 2020)

Definite hint of classic London Trigger flow on this. In fact, if Giggs had grown up as a so sensitive North London sad lad then he might have recorded Boss Trick.

Sunday, 31 January 2021

Generic list post: January 2021

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when I 'ave mostly been listening to Operation: Doomsday and Black Bastards.

KMD - Scrambled Eggs (1991/2021)
Perfection ft. Snoop Dogg - Understand Perfection (1992)
Andre Nickatina - Nickatina Says (2000)
Hellboy Rodd ft. Rio Da Yung OG - Talk Yo Shit (2020)
Flo Milli - Roaring 20s (2021)
Stack Dough - Chicken (2021)
Cookiee Kawaii - Vacation (2020)
Jazmine Sullivan ft. H.E.R - Girl Like Me (2021)
Vybz Kartel - Yami Bolo (2020)

Other notables: I'm not particularly fond of Sauce Walka or drumless Rap songs so I'm surprised R.I.P Buddy made its way into my rotation; the Max B & Giggs song should have happened in 2009; listened to Duke Deuce's Soldiers Steppin' and came to the conclusion that I'm bored of his Crunk revival songs now; I'm assuming Kap G wrote Lil Nas X Holiday because the first time I heard it I genuinely thought it was a new Kap song; Thirstin Howl III's Return Of The Polorican is a better #Menswear advert than song imho.

Bonus beats: Edan deep cuts playlist.

Friday, 29 January 2021

Late pass! 8 Crip Walks to perfection

Perfection ft. Snoop Doggy Dogg - Understand Perfection
(From the Please Pass The Mic compilation; 1992)

Perfection is perfected so now I finally understand what Snoop's line on Nuthin' But A "G" Thang meant. Pre-The Chronic Doggy Dogg from the L.A Gangsta-Rap cassette tape netherworld. Same Grover Washington sample as Played Like A Piano but with a tad more tinkling of the keys. Fun fact: the "one n*gga who decided to leave and get his rap on elsewhere" Snoop is throwin' salt on during his first verse was none other than Domino.

MP3 here for anyone who wants it like this, like that, and like this and uh.

Thursday, 28 January 2021

It was all a dream, I first heard Get Retarded on Ego Trip's The Big Playback CD

MC EZ & Troup - Get Retarded
(From Just Rhymin'/Get Retarded 12" single; 1988)

What if Get Retarded was the A-side of Craig Mack's one 12" as MC EZ and it became a big golden-era hit, consequently changing Mack's whole career trajectory? Crazy visionz, check it out, BOOM: Fresh Records then had MC EZ & Troup record an album in 1989 and the duo begin rollin' with RUSH management alongside fellow Fresh roster groups EPMD and Nice & Smooth. Thus, EZ & Troup follow EPMD and Nice & Smooth over to Def Jam when Fresh Records folds in 1990 where they release another couple of successful albums in the following years. Fate conspires that Mack still records Flava In Ya Ear, Get Down etc, but they're MC EZ songs on Def Jam songs rather than Craig Mack songs on Bad Boy - ergo, the Flava In Ya Ear remix features Redman in Biggie's place and Making Moves With Puff is now titled Making Moves With Russ.

In this parallel trajectory, Puffy still signs another former Fresh Records roster member who's spent the early 90's in Rap's wilderness - Stezo who has now rebranded as Stephen Williams. Hmmm not sure that woulda worked out for Bad Boy tbqh.

Sunday, 24 January 2021

Lord knows

"Nah, now I ain't on your level
But can I ask you a question - why you make the Devil?
Me, I wouldn't make my own enemies
And for every fatal disease I'd make remedies
Switch George W. with John F. Kennedy
He in the drop-top enjoying the weather
Laura Bush got brain on her sweater
I like that pic a bit better"

Mic Terror - If God Was Mic
(From the internet; 2008)

Much like Hoopty Music, If God Was Mic is an early Mic Terror song which really shoulda been a single. In a perfect universe it woulda been the If I Ruled The World of the late-MySpace/early-blog Rap era; in my universe it's a #MicTerrorHive classic. Slick Rick-level songwriting which contains multitudes and my personal favourite use the Go On And Cry loop courtesy of Gzus Piece who was a producer before he started rhyming. How much do I love this song? Like Tyson loves Cus D'Amato!

Tuesday, 19 January 2021

StackDoughnalds was mah spot!

"I go stupider
I ain't came from Mars, I came from Jupiter
I wanna Cupid her
Baby got them buns I'm bout to doop in her
I'm boopin' her
If she say she Blood then I'm Woopin' her
Gotta strap it up 'cause I ain't tryna leave no troop in her"

Stack Dough - Chicken
(From YouTube; 2021)

SF robo-slap by some breh with a NOLA accent and an IT mask. This shit coulda done with a hook but I fuxwit it regardless. Fed this song into the trusty old audio-to-image converter here at Martorialist HQ and this is what came out:

Saturday, 16 January 2021

Rock (on the) Box

The year was 1985, ya host was eight & 1/2 years old, and Run-D.M.C's performance of King Of Rock at Live Aid on TV was one of the pivotal moments where Rap music went from being something which was vaguely within my orbit via Roland Rat and Herbie Hancock to being the centre of my cultural universe alongside BMX bikes, amusement arcades, and Cadbury's cream eggs. Run-D.M.C & Jam Master Jay were a leather tracksuited star-shaped peg in Live Aid's hexagonal hole of stone-washed earnestness: they sounded like nothing the kid Marty had ever heard before and they were even cooler than the hoodlums in Michael Jackson's Beat It video. That was the night everything changed...

Thirty six years later and I still give Run-D.M.C half the credit that I've always preferred Adidas to Nike. The other half is down to Adidas Superstar tracksuits being the G.O.A.T #Athleisurewear. Wearing a slim-fit Adidas Superstar trackie to the pub on a Tuesday night to watch some Champions League football is an #AthleisurewearEra power move which makes you feel like King Cosy Boy (ask Valee!) Wearing a Nike Jordan trackie to the same pub on the same night to watch the same football, however, makes you look like you've just been to sign on the dole and makes you feel like you should be slobbing out at home on the sofa instead.

Related 80's: pour out a lil' Kraken for Ed "Duke Bootee" Fletcher. Who got the props? Alas, not Duke even though he was the Pumpkin of Sugar Hill Records, the genius behind The Message who then had his name scrubbed from the song's credits and his verses rapped by Furious Five members in the video, and the producer behind such tuff drum-machine era classix as Z-3 MC's Triple Threat and Word Of Mouth & DJ Cheese's King Kut and Coast To Coast. Credit is due.

Friday, 15 January 2021

Billie Eilish Ray Valentine

Flo Milli - Roaring 20s
(From Roaring 20s single; 2021)

First good Rap song of 2021 IMHO. Alabama's hoodrat Angelica from Rugrats on a Trading Places life switcheroo. Seriously, if they don't spoof Eddie Murphy's G.O.A.T movie for the video to this one then it's a complete waste of the song's concept.

Wednesday, 13 January 2021

♫ I'm gon' send him to outta space to find another race ♫

Vybz Kartel - Yami Bolo
(From Yami Bolo single; 2020)

The paradox of Vybz Kartel is that the Worl' Boss™ often sounds like he's from another planet: he's spent the past 7 years rotting inside a jailcell in Jamaica yet he's still sneakily recording new songs which sound like alien transmissions from Jupiter. If that reads like swanky-arse hyperbole to you it's only because this song sounds like a space-age riddim to me innit.

Hat tip to Dank for hippin' me to this one.

Sunday, 10 January 2021

Just The Two Of Us

"If you give me less than 5 for a feature you gettin' a lazy verse
My n*gga Hell gave me what I want, I gave him a Slim Shady verse
12 racks for the Cuban, you n*ggas act stupid
Bitch, I ain't lookin' for no love, I'll whack Cupid"

Hellboy Rodd ft. Rio Da Yung OG - Talk Yo Shit
(From YouTube; 2020)

Top 5 reasons why this is ya host's favourite Rio Da Yung OG double-act track since Movie: cognisance of each other's presence on the song, genuine chemistry between both rappers, the impression that neither artist is just spittin' the first thing to spring to mind during their first take, none of Rio's gross rhymes about sex, a beat which slaps like bacon on a biscuit.

Can't believe I posted this one before Pink Chardonnay.

Friday, 8 January 2021

This is reality Jersey Club - I really go through it

Cookiee Kawaii - Vacation
(From Club Soda Vol 2 album; 2020)

File this under '2020 choonz which hit even harder during England's cold, grey, damp national lockdown of 2021.'

Not only is this the ultimate Winter of our Discontent™, this is the ultimate winter of my disconnection. Thus, I find meself washing up on the Jersey Club shore again searchin' for jams. Cookiee Kawaii's Vacation is my favourite J.C find to date: a JeR&Bsey ode to the soul-cleansing reset of a good holiday that's more song than track but still retains the brevity, booty-chatter™ and BPM of the other Jersey Club bangers which have tickled my pleasure centre. If Ryanair don't use this song to soundtrack one of their annoying "Get yer Covid vaccination jab and maybe you plebs can go on holiday!" adverts then the company's entire marketing department should be sacked, imho.

Cookiee Kawaii's Vibe (If I Back It Up) seems to have been the biggest Jersey Club song of 2020 and was bestowed with the musical mark of Cain that is a Tyga remix. If Vacation ever follows a similar trajectory then let's hope someone more suitable gets to hop on the remix - someone like Flo Milli.

Wednesday, 6 January 2021

Born To Audiomack: Edan Deep Cuts

The super scientific smart-arse Jewish Percee P with scatological jokes - not a particularly tempting notion on paper, but Edan's music is undoubtedly thee dookie when banging through ya speaker. Edan found his niche in Rap's ecology with top quality even though so many of his best songs weren't included on either of his official albums, so I've made a compilation of my personal favourites. Effortless emphasis on the retro-futurist auteur tip, this playlist is designed to piss on a pessimist. Basically, don't front on the Portnoy!

Edan - Deep Cuts
1. Migraine (O.G mix) (1999)
2. The E's Have It ft. Skillz Ferguson (1999)
3. Drop Some Smooth Lyrics (2001)
4. Adrenaline Rush ft. Skillz Ferguson (2001)
5. Schoolly D Knew The Time (2002)
6. Clinical Rhymes ft. Skillz Ferguson (2002)
7. Emcees Smoke Crack (remix) (2002)
8. I'll Come Running Back To You (2002)
9. Funky Rhyming (2005)
10. Real Bad Promo (2018)

It's a pity Edan & Skillz Ferguson only recorded three tag team tracks together innit? Edan dubbed himself the One Man Arsenal on some Robin Van Persie circa 2008/2009 type shit, but his back-and-forth chemistry with Ferguson was always pure Double Trouble energy.

Plz excuse the slightly tinny sound quality of those first two tunes. The petition to get a remastered reissue of Edan's 1999 debut CD-R Artchitecture starts here! Mike Lewis, where ya at?

Sunday, 3 January 2021

Kwest Tha Madd Ladd hit it first

Kwest Tha Madd Ladd - I Met My Baby At V.I.M.
(From This Is My First Album LP; 1996)

Wait a motherf**kin' minute, true facts presented: Kwest Tha Madd Ladd's I Met My Baby At V.I.M. beat DOOM's Red & Gold to the Shoot 'Em Up Movies sample by a couple of years. The best Rap song about falling in love with a shop assistant at the mall? Possibly. The best Rap song to detail the embarrassment of having a fat hole in your sock when you're trying on kicks in a shop? Definitely. Shoulda been a single because they coulda brought the song's story to life with a lotta lotta laughs in the video.

That intro skit where Kwest and his m8 are arguing about the best song on Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde tho eh? C'mon now, lads - the #actual answer is Officer.