cOWWWWWabunga

Max B made good music in prison, so it's not inconceivable that he can continue to drop good music when he gets outta prison next month. In a perfect world, Max would have the best post-prison comeback streak since Mac Dre. Alas, rappers fall off all the time, the world's an imperfect place and that's word to John Bender. The reality is we're probably gonna have to contend with a whole lotta dross just to get a few good choonz. Since ur boi Martavelz is the chairman of the British (surf)board let me offer The Wave God a few suggestions in who and what he needs to avoid when he gets back in the studio. The top 10 things Max B needs to steer clean of when he touches home turf:

1. Auto-Tune
2. Drake
3. Any kind of Atlanta influence
4. Anyone or anything associated with Griselda
5. VladTV, Joe Budden and the whole pathetic Rap gossip industry
6. Paul Couture beats
7. New York Drill flows
8. Alchemist collaboration albums
9. Posting gym-bore workout videos on Instagram
10. Musical collaborations with French Montana

Listen, I luh Coke Wave as much as the next Max maven, but the only time I wanna hear Max & French together in the future is if they're talking shit about Hell Rell again. Instead, let's have some more Max B & Styles P songs on a par with the Kill That Faggot remix and Hawaii 5.0.

Another thing Max should avoid is sobriety. Turning straight edge has claimed the musical-mojos of rappers as diverse as Gucci Mane and Homeboy Sandman, and is as deadly a rapper curse as cosmetic dentistry. Obviously Max shouldn't develop a raging coke habit or become an alkie or start popping opioids. Instead, get him on the 'shrooms and let's see what see the psycheVelzic era has in store. Strawberry Fields forevOWWWWWWWW.

Moe B

Big Moe ft. Mike Wilson - Leave Drank Alone
(From Moe World album; 2003)


Is Leave Drank Alone Rap's most uplifting and wholesome song about addiction? Rest In peace Big Moe, I wish you hadn't filled your albums with verses from your m8s because them songs where you went sing-sang for self are a missing link between Nate Dogg and Max B. In fact, Just A Dog (Club) is a key song in the proto-Wavy canon innit?

Big Moe - Just A Dog (Club)
(From Moe World album; 2003)

What happened to Piece? (part 3)

Gzus Piece - Globetrottin'
(From Globetrottin' single; 2023)


As Mic Terror sang on that White Gzus song, it's the Return Of The G. Craig David met that lass on a Monday, Gabriel Gzus reappeared on the same damn day. Some Midwestern waviness goin' on in this song, a vibe that's best described as Bone Thugs-N-Biggaveli. That said, Globetrottin' feels more like an intro than a single, so hopefully it's the prelude to another capital A Anthem in the vein of Forever Gangster.

There's a breezy little new Max B song on that new Coke Boys compilation. Max & the guy who runs the This Is Biggavel YouTube channel have even done a video for it. Who else but Biggavelz is out here shooting music videos from inside their prison cell?

Max B ft. DJ Drama - Lemonade
(From French Montana & DJ Drama's Coke Boys 6 compilation; 2023)


Mountains aside, I usually loathe Paul Couture's Von Dutch soundin-ass beats, but this one has caught me off guard during the January blues. Reverse-seasoooooowwwwwnal effect innit? Song's more of a splash than The Wave, but it'll work lovely soundtracking some winter warz this January.

I don't even like Jack, but I fux with that beat right there

Jack Harlow - First Class (instrumental with hook)
(From YouTube; 2022)


On one hand, I wish Max B would go jackin' for Jack Harlow's First Class beat because it really is some grown and gorgeous shit. On the other hand, I'm happier than a pig in the proverbial with this instrumental because that beat could be some Mr. Fingers shit. Music that's as evocative as a coastline streaky bacon sunset. Life's a beach and then you fly, pelican, fly.

Generic list post: October 2022

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Max B got hench. Maybe he's been using yoga to get swole? Makes sense since he's been in prison for a long stretch. Really doe, free the King of New York already!

Prodigy - White Lines (1999)
Y@k Ballz - TCK (CDQ version) (2001)
Lil' Maru - On The Block (2021)
Mouse On Tha Track - Big Blossom (2022)
WNC Whop Bezzy ft. Mouse On Tha Track - Don't Stop (2022)
Homeboy Sandman - Boy Sand También (2022)
Duke Deuce - Anna (2022)
Slimeroni, Aleza, Gloss Up & K Carbon - Shabooya (2022)
George Clinton - Man's Best Friend (instrumental) (1983)

Other notables: October's Most Unexpected song award goes to Seiji Oda's City-Pop remix of DB Tha General's classic 2007 Intro; B.o.B dropped an unintentionally funny song defending his right to be a Flat Earther conspiracy theorist lol; Postcard is the first DJ Lucas & Papo2oo4 I've liked enough to listen to more than twice.

Other stuff: I made a post which links all the Audiomack playlists I've made so far this year; lotta hot music new and old contained in them there playlists. I also found out that Max B got the Why You Do That instrumental by a stroke of serendipity caused by New York traffic.

Crosstown Traffic

Max B - Why You Do That (instrumental)
(From Why You Do That single; 2007)


Via this video, sum shit I read: the production duo Arkatech Beatz made the Why You Do That beat for Jim Jones and arranged a meeting with him at ByrdGang's studio, but then got caught up in heavy traffic and by the time they arrived Jones had left. Max B was still in the studio writing and recording and told the Arkatech lads he'd pass their beat CD on to Jones, so they left it with him. Max listened to the CD, heard the Why You Do That beat, loved it, decided to keep it for himself, and the rest is history innit. Now, I'm a big fan of O.G ByrdGang era Jim Jones, but praise the Lord for New York's heavy traffic that fateful day. A stroke of serendipity which was both fortunate and glorious.

Max B - Why You Do That
(From Why You Do That single; 2007)


A quick browse through the Arkatech Beatz production discography reveals that Why You Do That is easily the best beat in their entire catalogue. That said, they were also behind the title track of Big Pun's first album so fair play to the lads.

You minor, nearly major

2Rare - Oochie Coochie
(From Oochie Coochie single; 2022)


Philly Club Rap which kinda sounds like Chicago Bop? As The High & Mighty nearly said, that's a pleasant surprise like seeing unshaven pussy right in front of your eyes. Oochie Coochie might be the catchiest chorus of 2022 - a hook so horny it'd make Max B proud (2Rare even talks like Max when he says "I'm tryna hit you too, I got the wave right now and you keep tryna make me be the one to cuff you" to his bird on the phone.) At 1:14 Oochie Coochie is more like an intro than an anthem, but I ain't mad at it in this instance.

... who am I tryna fool? Nah, I'm mad. Oochie Coochie coulda/woulda/shoulda been a 5 Star General choon if it were longer. Not only is a 1:14 Rap song musically unsatisfying to me, it's also functionally impractical: how am I supposed to listen to this shit in the car and keep my eyes on the road when I've gotta fiddle around to rewind the song every 74 seconds? The unfortunate thing with a lot of these zoomer rappers is that they make music for TikTok instead of making music for cars. You know what's really annoying though? None of 2Rare's other songs are this short, but none of them are anywhere near as good as Oochie Coochie. Flippin' typical innit?

In theory, 2Rare could solve Oochie Coochie's problem by recording a 2nd verse for an extended mix. In reality, extended mixes usually end up creating more problems where the new verses either sound like awkward ProTooled attachments or use a different flow which ends up debunking the original song's charms. Life is... too short, and so is this song. Guess I'm just gonna have to accept that.

No love for boppers, they smell like cocks

Texas Boyz - Awready
(From Digital Playaz EP; 2022)


I presume Awready by Texas Boyz is a budding viral hit because it's been regularly popping up in random Instagram stories for the past month or so. Big grower tune for me where the "EUREKA!" moment came when I realised it sounds like Z Money & Bandman Kevo if they were signed to Swisha House Records. 281-330-8004, hit Texas Boyz up on the low because Texas Boyz caught Mike Jones' holy ghost.

Bonus Beats: Know What I'm Saying was my jam from Mike Jones' first album. Evidently Max B agreed with me because he beatjacked it for one of the highlights of Public Domain (The Prequel).

Max B - Have U Seen Her?
(From Public Domain (The Prequel) mixtape; 2007)

Max B · Have U Seen Her

Immaculate taste that fella... and Max's taste ain't bad either tbf.

New York Strait Talk

Don't you hate when New Yorkers try to discredit Rap music from other regions like "we don't listen to that here"? California and Tennessee must have been devastated that the city who bought multiple albums by Das EFX and Drag-On didn't give any play to Suga Free's Street Gospel and Project Pat's Ghetty Green. Ironically, New Yorkers tend to have terrible taste in their own Rap music let alone Rap music from other regions. Lest we forget that New Yorkers prefered Fat Joe to the rest of D.I.T.C and anointed Mos Def as the savior of Real Hip-Hop™. Lest we also forget that New Yorkers put their industry weight behind the likes of Mims and Maino when Max B was hiding in plain sight. And these are the authoritarians whose taste we're supposed to defer to? LMFAO.

In hindsight, it was obvious that New Yorkers were unreliable authorities on their own Rap music when they ignored Whodini's I'm A Ho and The Showboys Drag Rap and left it to California and New Orleans to recognise the brilliance of both songs. If we can pinpoint the moment when New York's superiority complex became a worldwide laughing stock it was 2012 when the city decided A$AP Ferg made music which was remotely listenable. After that, Rap fans only looked to New York to see what was poppin' there and then ran in the opposite direction. I bet that makes New Yorkers real mad, don't it? But I bet New Yorkers can't find a single lie in this post.

BTW, no shotz @ Maino. He wasn't competition when him and Max B were contemporaries in the late noughties, but he did have three undeniable jams back then: Role Model shoulda been the Broken Language of 2008, Hi Hater transformed Money (Dollar Bill Y'all) into some post-Jigginess, and Rumors is the G.O.A.T Dead Perez gossip song of that era. "I was readin' the daily news where they said they had flicks of Lloyd Banks havin' sex with a hairy dude" is a helluva lyric.

Maino - Rumors
(From Real Recognize Real mixtape/DVD; 2005)


Pity nobody has ever identified the sample on Rumors because it sounds like it comes from the nastiest Spaghetti Western ever.

Not over till the fat wavy plays the demo

Max B - Over (Intro)
(From Negro Spirituals album; 2021)

Max B · Over (Intro)

Always wanted to say that Max B has album intros which body other Rapper's whole albums and now I can. My man still makes good music, man. A lotta y'all favourites don't!!

Mountains is as close as this Negro Spirituals album comes to a Nu-Wave BBQ Music anthem, which is a pre-Christmas miracle since it's produced by that useless hack Paul Couture.

Max B - Mountains
(From Negro Spirituals album; 2021)

Max B · Mountains

Miraculously, Paul Couture also didn't manage to mangle the Picture Me Rollin' interpolation on Don't Make Me Cry. Bit weird having Raheem DeVaughn on this shit, tho - Max and a sanger on the same song is like having parsnips and potato wedges on the same plate innit?
Max B ft. Raheem DeVaughn - Don't Make Me Cry
(From Negro Spirituals album; 2021)

Max B · Don't Make Me Cry

"OH, WHAT JOU NEED HIM FOR????"

Max B? More like Maxi Priest amirite

Max B - I Wonder (Coco Mango)
(From the internet; 2021)

Max B · I Wonder (Coco Mango)

Like my Granddad always used to say, you can't keep water in concrete indefinitely because it'll leak eventually. Max B - the first New York rapper since Grand Puba to use patois on record without soundin' like Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black. Free the Boss Don and the World Boss.

I'm waterproof when the rain hit

Max B - Bang Bang Boogie
(From Public Domain (Million Dollar Baby Radio) mixtape; 2006)

Max B · Bang Bang Boogie

Every time I wipe out after deep surfin' The Wave™ I come outta that water with a song I've kinda slept on. So, move over Deez My Streets because Bang Bang Boogie is ya host's new favourite song on Max's first Public Domain mixtape. Shoot, bro - Max over The O'Jays is like a waterproof suit, yo. That grown and Gore-Tex shit for the summer, for the winter, fourth quarter, whatever, owww.

Generic list post: August 2021

Styles P & Max B - Kill That Faggot (remix)
(From Max B's Million Dollar Baby 2 mixtape; 2008)


Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Styles P didn't break Max B outta prison to perform the Kill That Faggot remix at the LOX and Dipset Verzuz. And that's why there needs to be a rematch when Max gets out.

Little Shawn - Hickeys On Your Chest (video) (1992)
Digable Planets - Little Renee (1993)
BIA - Whole Lotta Money (2020)
Ezale - Raised Like This (2021)
Stunnaman02 & QuakeBeatz - Big Steppin' (2021)
Homeboy Sandman - Go Hard (2021)
Max B - Revolution (2021)
Rio Da Yung OG & RMC Mike - Give Me Lyfe (2021)
Stephanie Mills - Never Get Enough Of You (1983)
Cookiee Kawaii ft. Justin Love - Donkey (2021)

Other notables: quite like Capitol 1 by EST Gee; AZ's The Wheel ain't my favourite shit but it's still a billion times better than Nas' new album (wtf? @ the guests on Doe Or Die 2 tho.)

PS: when Homeboy Sandman says "I'm like Samson in reverse" on Go Hard he's really talking about Romelu Lukaku.