Friday 31 July 2020

Generic list post: July 2020

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when DMX didn't even play his G.O.A.T solo song during his soundclash with Snoop. Ain't gon' lie, I loathe those Verzuz battles as a concept: music reduced to a sport for DJ Vlad, Joe Buddens, and Rap Twitter to have opinionz about. The absolute last people that rappers/producers should be encouraging are the dullards who spend all day on Twitter ranking Jay-Z and KanYe West albums.

Dangerous Dame - My Name Is Dame (1989)
Dangerous Dame - OAKtown (1989)
Mac J & Bris - Forgot About Me (2018)
Mac J - Free Bris (2020)
Flo Milli - Pussycat Doll (2020)
Flo Milli - Weak (2020)
Icyjay - Balla (2020)
S1mba ft. DTG - Rover (2019)
SAULT - Stop Dem (2020)
Dua Lipa - Good In Bed (2020)

Other notables: Mick Jenkins having a U.K hit with a song produced by Black Milk is something I didn't see coming; Sleepy Hallow & Sheff G's Molly is shameful Chicago cosplay but I secretly kinda dig it; Duke Deuce & Mulatto's KIRK is a booty-chatter banger but ain't a patch on his last mixtape's deep cuts; most embarrassing song I heard this month was either Drake's new U.K Drill karaoke and Fabolous' Afrobeats song; are Gassed Up Lighties the Mel & Kim of U.K Drill?

Tuesday 28 July 2020

4 albums from high school

If a vanity challenge goes down on the 'net, I want in. Bit unfair for us Brits to whittle this particular challenge down to a quartet of albums when high school lasts for half a decade in the U.K, but this is a accurate reflection of my first four years of secondary education. Let's party like it's 1988 to 1992!

I can't think of any British albums which were the shit to me during high school. I can, however, think of a shitload of British singles which ruled my high school years. Official faves:

Bomb The Bass - Megablast (1988)
Soul II Soul - Back To Life (However Do You Want Me) (1989)
Depeche Mode - Personal Jesus (1989)
Silver Bullet - 20 Seconds To Comply (1989)
Monie Love ft. True Image - It's A Shame (1990)
Adamski ft. Seal - Killer (1990)
808 State - In Yer Face (1991)
Caveman - I'm Ready (1991)
Stereo MC's - Connected (radio edit) (1992)
SL2 - On A Ragga Tip (1992)
London Posse - How's Life In London? (1993)

There's no point in playin' this parlour game if you're gonna pretend you were too cool for high school. Me, I was too young and dumb to appreciate some of the G.O.A.T British dance singles which dropped during my high school years even though they were chart hits: 808 State's Pacific 707 and A Guy Called Gerald's Voodoo Ray in 1989, LFO's LFO in 1990, and Future Sound Of London's Papua New Guinea in 1991.

Monday 27 July 2020

True story or no story: late pass!

"Every time I needed help n*ggas forgot about me
I ran into some chicken and forgot about it
N*ggas hatin' you can't even get no gwop around 'em
Cut 'em short 'cause you'll never see the top around 'em"

Mac J & Bris - Forgot About Me
(From YouTube; 2018/Big Headed album; 2019)

I like Adios but I love Forgot About Me. Can't fathom why Sacramento didn't embrace Forgot About Me like San Francisco embraced Lil' Yase & Yatta's Get It In. Different city, but same energy.

Bonus beats: True story or no story reprise.

Friday 24 July 2020

Song, Why Isn't You Here?

"Bitch, I ain't never had no home trainin'
I run up in my job yellin' F*CK YOU, PAY ME!"

Flo Milli - White Girl Mia
(From Soundcloud; 2018)

Why didn't Flo Milli just include White Girl Mia on her debut EP rather than use a snippet of it for the intro? Song is peak hoodrat Angelica from Rugrats Brat-Rap in the Flo Milli canon. Really doe, twelve songs isn't an EP - it's an LP masquerading as an EP because major labels are terrified of classifying anything as an album in case it flops. If the label are all up in the game with the rules twisted then they shoulda just maximised this opportunity and included My Attitude, Eat It Up, and Iconic anyway for the full Flo Milli Shit™ experience.

Thankfully the generic Auto-Tune fuckery and cameos from hacks like Tyga and Gunna I feared didn't materialize on this LP-in-EP's-clothing. In fact, the most radio-friendly song on here might be the highlight of the new tracks. Don't cha wish all Rap radio had character like Flo Milli?

"He love my aura, when he with you he be bored
If he call I press ignore, I'm overseas in Bora Bora"

Flo Milli - Pussycat Doll
(From Ho, Why Is You Here? EP; 2020)

Tuesday 21 July 2020

Rap's O.G DSquared

Dangerous Dame - My Name Is Dame
(From Jumpin' cassette; 1989)

Best song from Dangerous Dame's debut tape, imho. Your nuts and your arms - you gotta know when to hold 'em and you gotta know when to fold 'em if you're slappin' some raw Bay Area b-boy shit like this.

Sunday 19 July 2020

Style Wars over Star Wars

If nothing else, 2020 will go down in the history books as the year when one of Hip Hop's oldest debates was finally settled - yes, Cap from Style Wars really is a toy!

There's nowt as noncey as grown men who are into toys, but I ain't mad at someone making their own personal Style Wars action figures. How very fitting that Min One's figure is a dead ringer for Moxie from Auf Weidersehen, Pet since he's ended up being the documentary's biggest dirtbag.

Most iconic use of Dion's The Wanderer: Style Wars or The Wanderers?

Friday 17 July 2020

Slap Trerando

Icyjay - Balla
(From the internet; 2020)

File this one under 'random slaps where the whole song is basically a 2 minute hook.'

Thursday 16 July 2020

Martorialist elegance: Do The Fila

The most iconic All Fila Everything™ outfit in the history of Rap? It wasn't worn by noted-fanboy 2Pac or any of the Rappers who've recorded odes to the brand like Schoolly D and Steady B. Shit, it wasn't even worn by a Rapper - it was #actually worn by Eric B & Rakim's Fort Greene kingpin m8 Rapp Magnetic on the back cover of Paid In Full:

Ya host's own personal favourite All Fila Everything™ outfit in Rap history, however, is a bit more complicated. It was worn by Black Dynasty's Dion Stewart, but in a song which has no need to exist - the jankey video remix of Deep East Oakland:

Much like the O.G Goodfellas DVD, there's two sides to every story. But you either lyin' or you deaf like Ben Mitchell if you prefer the video mix of Deep East Oakland to the O.G version.

Black Dynasty ft. Dru Down & Dangerous Dame - Deep East Oakland
(From Deep East Oakland single; 1994)

Deprived of another classic Dru Down video outfit just because Black Dynasty decided to go for delf over a tinpot re-recorded beat. Oh the humanity.

Tuesday 14 July 2020

Annual post about some random U.K tune

S1mba ft. DTG - Rover
(From YouTube; 2019)

Truthfully, I fronted on Rover for the longest - homeboy tryna flex in Superdry ski goggles is unforgivable, but as an anthem this song is undeniable. Rover had URL goin' nuts during lockdown to the point where it reached number 3 in the U.K Top 40, hilariously inspired an Australian remix, and even went gold in New Zealand (we did it, Moscaddie, we did it!) Now a certain sense of normality has resumed, Rover deserves to have IRL goin' nuts for what's left of this lost summer. Basically, if I can drunkenly sing "I just wanna make the moo lah lah, got 'em all screamin' ooh la la" in the pub on a quiet Wednesday night then it'll be my official Song Of The Summer™ 2020.

PS: there's even a new remix with Lil' Tecca for myopic 'Muricans!

Sunday 12 July 2020

Killer heels, darlin'

Flo Milli - Like That Bitch
(From YouTube; 2020)

Like I said, not so much DEATH BY STEREO as DEATH BY STILETTO!

Here at The Martorialist we're savouring Flo Milli's current run of singles because generic Auto-Tune f*ckery and cameos from hacks like Tyga and Gunna are surely inevitable. Highway to the danger zone from hereon in?

Saturday 11 July 2020

Dreams And Bugbears

Do you ever dream about music and then wake up sad because the song which soundtracked your sleep was just a figment of your imagination and it'll only ever exist in your head? Ya host had one last night where Nate Dogg flipped Biz Markie's Let Me Turn You On and I'm now feelin' blue because it was all a dream...

Biz Markie - Let Me Turn You On
(From All Samples Cleared album; 1993)

Thursday 9 July 2020

True story or no story reprise

"Ay, n*ggas slide but we don't scam
I just bought another glizzy, it's a grown man
Yeah, it bust moves but it don't dance
I should call him peanut butter 'cause he don't jam"

Mac J - Free Bris
(From YouTube; 2020)

Turns out I was wrong - this other Mac J track is #actually the most Front Page Of slap of 2020 thus far. Damn, Bris' sidekick/patna has some serious gas in him. Also see: Siccame which makes the ideal B-side to this.

"He ain't got on headphones so I know he heard
N*gga you ain't paralysed, bitch,you got ther nerve
He was dissin' on the first, he dead on the third
I run up in ya house, we call it a purge
N*gga this a life lesson, you live and you learn
Now his soul in the sky, it look like a bird
I call him Lil' Saint, that n*gga got served"

Mac J - Siccame
(From YouTube; 2020)

Wednesday 8 July 2020

True story or no story

"When that drac' start singin' It gon' hit high notes
And that glock speak Spanish - adios!

Mac J & Bris - Adios
(From YouTube; 2020)

Probably an unpopular opinion, but I like this more than any of the Bris solo tracks my ears have crossed paths with. Purely a production preference thing tho because Adios is the most Front Page Of slap of 2020 thus far.

Saturday 4 July 2020

The Ice Is Right

"Yo, how did he go out?
So ladies, we just ain't talkin' 'bout you
'Cause some of y'all n*ggas is bitches 2"

Ice-T - Bitches 2
(From O.G. Original Gangster album/VHS tape; 1991)

All factoid, zero tabloid: there has never been a better example of "you made it a hot line, I made it a hot song" than Ice-T's Bitches 2. A random Bushwill Bill lyric from Size Ain't Shit expanded into a full fledged life lesson consisting of 4 different flesh & bone examples of 4 different full steezy fellas. People sleep on Ice-T's songwriting but that man was penning Rap gospel between 1986 and 1991.

Friday 3 July 2020

Martorial Elegance: Lidl Wayne

Finally the U.K has a true heir to Kwik Save's Medina brand trainers with Lidl's foray into the budget supermarket shoe market. Forget uncle Charles, I wish Gary Warnett was here to pontificate about these shits:

Tbf, on a purely aesthetic level these things are no worse than any of those Yeezy clodhoppers. Here at The Martorialist we'll wear a Mac Dre cap or a Max B t-shirt, but we'll be damned if we ever walk around in KanYe Pest's equivalent of the dreaded Master P sneaker.