Thursday 28 November 2019

Generic list post: November 2019

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month that's probably gonna inspire an influx of Rappers called Hoffa, Buffalino, and Tony Pro. Also the month when some of youse lot finally realised that Jon Caramanica is just Tom Breihan in R.A The Rugged Man's body.

Mac Dre - Crest Bound (199?/2019)
A-Mafia - Wunn (2019)
A-Mafia ft. Project Pat - Hemphis (2019)
Mic Terror - Head In The Morning (2019)
Mic Terror ft. Gitta - Nobody Loves Me (2019)
J Hus - Must Be (2019)
LFO - Rob's Nightmare (1990/2019)
LFO - To The Limit (1990/2019)
Dua Lipa - Don't Start Now (2019)

Other notables: unless it's supposed to be an intro, Duke Deuce's Crunk Ain't Dead is too dope to be so short; the Lookout remix by Homeboy Sandman, Kurious & Aesop Rock was a pleasant surprise; Xanman's iCarly is aiight but if he really wants to Get Retarded™ then he should flip the Round The Twist theme; that "new" Gang Starr album was a genetically-modified Gangenstein's MonStarr; Kap G's The Bomb is a step back in the right direction for him; was my Mancunian-Rap/grey Squirrel analogy the realest music writing of November or wot?

Tuesday 26 November 2019

And on the 8th day Satan created Manchester

Here at The Martorialist we always thought Dave The Ruf would forever be the absolute nadir of Mancunian Rap. Turns out we were wrong because Dave now has some serious competition in the form of Aitch and Jordan. It's impossible to watch these two videos and not think that Rap is the musical equivalent of when the grey squirrel was introduced to the U.K: a flashy well-meaning import which is accidentally hazardous to the indigenous population.

Aitch - Taste (Make It Shake)
(A legit hit single; 2019)

Jordan - Lifestyle
(A legit viral hit; 2019)

Did the Rap game need a 16 year old Jordan Pickford and Nick Frost's scally little brother?

Sunday 24 November 2019

Reasons why I love YouTube: Crestside is the best side

Because thee fonkiest Mac Dre demo since the O.G version of California Livin' recently turned up on there. Dre is one of the few Rappers with enough charisma to sound fly in filthy 3rd generation tape-dub lo-fidelity. Bigger than life, he still does it Magnum from beyond the grave.

Mac Dre - Crest Bound
(From local Crest tapes; 199?/YouTube; 2019)

Produced by DJ Ceece who also cut the Hell outta the track. This one sounds like it was recorded around 1990.

Friday 22 November 2019

The L stood for Lads

LFO - Rob's Nightmare
(From Peel Session 1990/12" EP; 2019)

Wot a to do it is when WARP Records have finally given LFO's 1990 Peel Session an official release, eh? To clarify, that's the LFO who combined the disparate aesthetics of Ron Hardy & Don Revie, not the LFO who had M.O.P all up on their frat-Pop shouting. Anyhoo, the Peel Session consists of 4 exclusive tracks, although Take Control is basically an early prototype of We Are Back before Gez Varley & Mark Bell added the evil Electro ecky-thump. Burn one/pour out a little liquor/eat a tripe butty for the Bellmeister.

LFO - Lost World
(From Peel Session 1990/12" EP; 2019)

Wednesday 20 November 2019

Bongo Bongo Land (no Nigel Farage)

"Like goin' to Footlocker and seein' some Asics
Or goin' up to Heaven and seein' a motherfuckin' racist "

Homeboy Sandman ft. Kurious & Aesop Rock - Lookout (remix)
(From Dusty album; 2019)

Riddle me this, Backpackman: how come I generally love Quelle Chris and usually hate Aesop Rock but the version of Homeboy Sandman's Lookout I dig is the remix not the original? Cannae pinpoint an answer for that question meself, all I can tell you is that this shit transports me to a parallel universe where London's Mr. Bongo record shop still exists and I'm still tryna get a refund from Kish for that crap Non-Prophets EP he recommended me.

Smooth B - I Want My Money Back
(From Top Shelf 8/8/88 compilation; 2007)

Saturday 16 November 2019

Hell Rella Lugosi's Dead

"Yo, I gotta get this paper, mane
I rap but I'm still pullin' capers, mane"

A-Mafia ft. Project Pat - Hemphis
(From The Good With The Bad album; 2019)

Reality-Rap or wot? Might as well post this too since it's a top 3 song on the new A-Mafia album alongside Wunn and Riding Alone. Trans-regional gooncore with a Transylvania Type Beat™. As with Styles P's Kill That Faggot, we hoppin' outta coffins wearin' Bela Lugosi wigs to this one.

A-Mafia was recently on DGB talkin' like it's just you and me. Very pertinent chat about Project Pat being his favourite Rapper, and how he introduced Hell Rell to Gucci Mane's music.

Friday 15 November 2019

Hit that like button if you remember REAL HIP HOP!

What's Nas' greatest crime: never recording a duo album with AZ? Subjecting the public to his weird sexual fantasies in songs? Inspiring the endlessly tedious Illmatic versus It Was Written debate? Or dropping an album called Hip Hop Is Dead in the year when Chicken Noodle Soup was ringin' biddells?

DJ Webstar & Young B ft. The Voice Of Harlem - Chicken Noodle Soup
(From Webstar Presents: Caught In The Web album; 2006)

A better question would be what's more tragic: Soulja Boy's Crank That goin' down in history as the first viral Rap hit to emerge from YouTube when Chicken Soup Soup had it beat by at least 6 months? Or that recent noncey K-Pop remake of Chicken Soup Soup already having 90 million more YouTube views than the original version?

Wednesday 13 November 2019

N is for the neighbours that's 'bout to know my name

"P is not for pregnant, P is for protection
Q is for the questions.. that I gotta ask
Like have you ever fucked with R. Kelly in the past?
If so, keep your ST's to U
V is for the vibe starin' at the lake view
And W because we both listen to the Wu"

Mic Terror - The ABC's
(From Tall, Dark, & Gangster EP; 2019)

Another fave from that new Mic Terror EP. Alphabetical Slaughter gone Alphabetical Sauciness (no Sauce Walka/yes Sid James.) Sample of Anita Baker, listened up and down and said "mmmm I'll take ya!"

Monday 11 November 2019

Drake it like a man

^^^ Odd Future fanboys finally redeem themselves years after flooding the YouTube comment boxes of Fam-Lay's Skrung Owt with terrible opinionz about how the beat was wasted until Tyler The Creator rhymed about sexual assault, Supreme hoodies, and shitty 2010 Rap blogz over it. Nah, space cadet - Pharrell's spookiest beat ain't the place for that.

PS: my best of Fam-Lay playlist is still colder than Polish feet.

Sunday 10 November 2019

Audio Wunn Part Two

Folks probably visit The Martorialist expecting opinionz about buzzin' regional Rappers like Yung Ro (the child gangbanger version of DaBaby?) or New York hipster media creeps like Eric Sundermann (that tubby lad who cucked Ernest Baker?) Hate to disappoint you but ya host is way more excited about discovering that the bloke who directed Milk Dee's Get Off My Log video uploaded an immaculate HQ version of it to YouTube a few years back. It's the man like Milk clear like H2O:

Milk ft. Big V - Get Off My Log
(From Never Dated EP; 1994/YouTube; 2015)

Very apt that Milk was doin' songs with Ad Rock & Mike D during this era. Partially because he's dressed like he just stepped outta the Beastie Boys' So What Cha Want video here, and partially because there should be kinship between Rappers who sound like Dan Ackroyd with his bollox trapped in a vice.

Bonus Milk Dee beats:

Eamon - Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back)
(From I Don't Want You Back album; 2004)

Drake is to Eamon what Y@k Ballz is to Cage.

Previously: Audio Wunn.

Friday 8 November 2019

You down with Brits sayin' o-p-p? Yeah, you don't know me!

J Hus - Must Be
(From the internet; 2019)

Smoooooth operator, lad. Post-porridge J Hus back to life like Soul II Soul with bare winebar vybz for Caron & Jazzie and Sharon & Tracey alike. On one hand, the triumphant return of J Hus & Jae5 is a much welcome 2019 plot twist. On the other hand, there's nowt as sad as British blokes with stars & stripes in their eyes making songs about opps. If this Island must insist on doing Rap music then plz honour Roger's Profanisaurus and use our own slang, you blurts.

Wednesday 6 November 2019


"I gotta pocket fulla crystals - to repel negativity
But I still got a pistol - for any excess energy
Some of my best friends is criminals - politicians & police the enemy
Save the Remy Martin for Papoose - because I only drink Hennessey
You Forest Gump n*ggas can't sit wit' me
Because I'm gettin' brains in the whip like Kennedy"

Mic Terror - Head In The Morning
(From Tall, Dark, & Gangster EP; 2019)

Of course the song produced by the guy behind Heaux Love Me is ya host's favourite track on Mic Terror's new EP - Mic Tre & Doc DaMindbenda is A Good Combination™. Moral of the song? Say your prayers, take your vitamins, and have a shower if you're expecting your partner to treat you like breakfast in bed.

"A patriot to you, but to me he a terrorist
All this racism got me needin' a therapist
I'm a warrior, I was born prepared for this
Speak harsh realities with so much eloquence
With sumthin' in the trunk that can knock down an elephant
When you shot if you right or not is irrelevant"

Mic Terror ft. Gitta - Nobody Loves Me
(From Tall, Dark, & Gangster EP; 2019)

On the less smutty tip, I'm also diggin' this one. Proper high noon on the B.K Corral Mic-N-Midwessun vybz.

Previously: Welcome to the Terrorzone and Welcome to the Terrorzone 2.

Tuesday 5 November 2019

Audio Wunn

"Rosé sippin', man, these streets is hard
Rest in peace to Fat Ted, rest in peace Bernard
Remember when we was runnin' around in the yard
Now we in the Benz comin' down the boulevard
Never chase a broad, only chase bread
Disrespect the squad and you gonna taste lead
Always on my job so my kids stay fed
If I ain't with Rob I'm with Bigface Head"

A-Mafia - Wunn
(From The Good With The Bad album; 2019)

Tired: a genetically modified new Gang Starr album. Wired: a new A-Mafia song with big Milk Dee energy.

If Duke Da God had put together Dipset's equivalent of the Top Shelf 8/8/88 compilation (hosted by DJ Brucie B, natch) then this song woulda been Mafia Starski's contribution. Bust the running man not your brother man!

Previously: S/O to Giggs.

Friday 1 November 2019

Beyond Comprehension or wot?

Gang Starr ft. Jadakiss - Rite Where U Stand
(From The Ownerz album; 2003)

When that Beastie Boys-soundin' posthumous A Tribe Called Quest album dropped, a buncha dry-eared randos on the Rap Internet were quick to proclaim it Tribe's 4th best album. DJ Premier just released a posthumous Gangenstein MonStarr album and of course the same dry-eared randos are already claiming it's a better Gang Starr swansong than The Ownerz. Headz always wanna flip the script into a heartwarming happy ending, but factz is factz: real Guru & Primo songs will always be better than DJ Solar-era Guru offcut acapellas bolted onto bunglesome 2019 Primo beats which sound indistinguishable from their Statik Selektah knock-offs. There are no songs on this new Gang Starr album only glorified Pro Tools experiments relying on good-faith nostalgia, and an album containing guest verses from J. Cole and Talib Kweli can NEVER be better than The Ownerz. Never? NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!

Gang Starr - Sabotage
(From The Ownerz album; 2003)

Previously: Hard To Care.