Sunday 30 June 2013

Send ZMoney back to jail, imo

So, the Rap game Daphne from Eggheads simultaneously released 2 mixtapes yesterday featuring a combined total of 36 tracks and then didn't bother to include an MP3 of the original definitive solo version of Everything on either of them? Seriously? Not been this annoyed at a Rapper since the calamity which saw Zed Zilla drop his Rents Due mixtape sans the song that sent him viral in the first place, I'm Da Boss.

"Everybody and the money isn't everything
Fuck you mean? Colour green, that be everything!"

ZMoney - Everything
(From the internet; 2012)

So near and yet so far, lad!

Tuesday 25 June 2013

Special needs Rap Olympics

"Retarted, retarted - my 'fit game retarted
My whip game retarted, got a bad bitch she retarted

I'm retarted, retarted - my hip game retarted
My dick game retarted, all these raps, man, I'm retarted

I'm retarted, retarted, retarted, retarted
Could use a lotta words, but retarted how I describe it

Retarted, retarted, retarted, retarted
Could use a lotta words, but retarted how I describe it!"

Bubba ft. Max Minelli - Retarted
(From The Traymond Jones Story II : Reloaded album; 2013)

Baton Rogue Rap which owns a thesaurus but doesn't even need to use it because it's clever enough to come up with its own words, thank you very much.

Monday 24 June 2013

Slangin' humble pie and St Ides in the same sentence

Back when Chinx Drugz's Cocaine Riot 3 dropped in april, I damned How Can I Lose? with faint praise by insisting it was the 'tape's highlight but still little more than "a Superlight-lite retread for Chinx & Harry Fraud". In hindsight, I'm appalled that my dumb ass didn't appreciate such higher-echelon waviness at the time so I'd like to apologise : what How Can I Lose? actually sounds like is a Dame Grease-orchestrated Medieval hair-metal ballad epilogue to Superlight, which is what the French Montana album should've sounded like, innit?

Chinx Drugz - How Can I Lose?
(From Cocaine Riot 3 mixtape; 2013)

Really hate that POP noise Chinx makes at 00:19, though, because it sounds identical to a Facebook notification. What, you mean somebody hasn't replied to that status update I made about Sallie Axl from Big Brother being deeply misunderstood???

I feel it's reasonable to be emoshunul

"Came a long way from takin' the long way home
Ridin' circles around my home
Now I get surveillance on my phone
I'm Al Capone, you Al Pacino : you just play your role
Real n*ggas vouch for me 'cause I'm about my c-notes, now you know"

$tatlito - Aberration
(From Attention, Tithes & Taxes EP; 2013)

2 Things :

1. It annoys me that $tarlito often doesn't even bother to write choruses nowadays, but better hookless tracks like this where he can show his pen/flow off than tracks where his writing and voice are disrupted by schmaltzy Robin Raynelle crooning.

2. That time I compared 'lito's croak flow to Clarence "The Frogman" Henry's vocal gimmick really should've been voted as the best music criticism of 2012.

Sunday 23 June 2013

Wanted dead or alive : part 2050

Anyone care to ID me the sample on A-Mafia's Street Money? It sounds like some 18th century Italian opera jam that Joe & Larry Gallo probably listened to before they set off to turn Albert Anastasia's cabbage into coleslaw; in A-Mafia's hands it's the modern Harlem enforcer-Rapper equivalent of 1997 Q.B Thug-Rap, which isn't quite as exciting but is still a very, very good thing indeed :

"Dedicated to every honey and every girl we date
Gettin' money is my worldly fate until the pearly gates"

A-Mafia - Street Money
(From Street Anthems : The Best Of A-Mafia mixtape; 2013)

For anyone not keeping score, Street Money is the best Italo-Rapso joint since Short Kidd's The Mafia :

Short Kidd - The Mafia
(From Vulcha 101 : Freshman Year mixtape; 2012)

Saturday 22 June 2013

My Dro Called Life

Maybe I'm just in the building feelin' myself too much on this one, but I'd like to think I may have somehow contributed to that Katie Got Bandz X Gunplay song being, y'know, an actual IRL thing with a video and stuff :

Katie Got Bandz ft. Gunplay - Y'All N*ggaz Ain't Hittaz remix
(From the forthcoming Drillary Clinton mixtape; 2013)

The irony, of course, is that Katie is probably oblivious to my existence. Got me feelin' like the Blog Game Brian Krakow :

Thursday 20 June 2013

Say your prayers and take your vitamins

It's very important that chil'ren and adults alike get their iron!

Webbie - Porch
(From Ghetto Stories album; 2003)

Fuckin' right I'm still waiting on Complex's decade anniversary of Ghetto Stories list where Webbie, Turk & Mel, C-Loc, Bun B, Tru Dawg, Lil' Q, and Mouse On Tha Track break down each song in intimate detail!

Fuckin' right I'm still hoping TRILL will drop a remastered deluxe reissue with liner notes from Murder Dog's editor Scott Bejda and the internet's #1 Baton Rogue expert FrankieThaLuckyDog!

Fuckin' right I've never worn denim since I saw that middle-aged cracka wearing Obama jeans in the picture of Mel & Turk signing their distribution deal with Fontana in 2011!

Wednesday 19 June 2013

Only time I tell a lie if I was sittin' on the stand

No, your honour, no, your honour - I didn't kill that man!

Great 2012 Chicago songs I'd missed until the Kentucky kid Rey dropped his year end list; essentially, this shit is an unintentionally #Based gooned-out update of LL Cool J's That's A Lie and I still need a tagless MP3 of it. Who got da ripz?

"I been gettin' money since a killer turned twelve, n*gga
I don't have time for these fake fairytale n*ggas
You know you ain't spent twenty thousand on your bail, n*gga
Didn't cha mama tell you tellin' lies you go to Hell, n*gga?"
Boy, you ain't no 'hood n*gga, heard you a suburban n*gga
You ain't sellin' drugs, man, I heard you was a workin' n*gga
But up in your Raps you say you trappin. you be murkin' n*ggas
That's some real clown shit, I think you a real clown n*gga!

Ebone Hoodrich - Why U Lyin'?
(From Youtube/Books & Kush mixtape; 2012)

Tuesday 18 June 2013

Ayo The Guardian

Petridis and Paul Lester need to ante-up before the Yeezus review runs later this week because Jim Farber from the New York Daily News just bit a whopping great chunk out of your whole swag :

"It presents Kanye as nothing less than the Johnny Rotten of his generation... The raw, dark and minimalist reliance on stabbing, bristling synths recalls a sound pioneered by acts like Ministry, Skinny Puppy and Nine Inch Nails 20 years ago. But it finds a hip-hop corollary for it and adds many serrated twists of its own, aided by key production from Daft Punk and Rick Rubin... In hip-hop terms, it’s the hardest-rocking work since the early ’90s peaks of Public Enemy and LL Cool J. It’s just the album it should be: a chutzpah classic."

Monday 17 June 2013

Wanted dead or alive : where the audio alchemists at?

Anybody fancy ripping me the audio of AZ freestyling over Questlove's beatbox rendition of Impeach The President during that recent Sway interview? Starts at around 2:55 and finishes at 3:53. Other than his Mojo magazine Rock canon faux pas, this is the best thing Questlove's ever been involved in, right?

I always wished AZ had got Doug E. Fresh and Salaam Remi's beat for Virgo instead of Nas because dude from Q.B usually sounds so painfully awkward he's pretending to have fun and only ever has any genuine glee in his voice when he's rhyming about sticking beer bottles up Kelis' arsehole. Not that AZ is exactly Mr Chuckles himself, but he is capable of enjoying himself on record, so Virgo should've been a back-and-forth throwback party-jam between him and Slick Rick, which would've also given Rick and Doug one last recorded outing together before they both sailed off into the sunset on the not-so-good Rock The Bells-type nostalgia tour cruise ship.

*Edit* Thanx to Step and Done for coming through with the goods :

AZ & Questlove - beatbox freestyle

Saturday 15 June 2013

Just sayin', bruv # 6.5 : token Migos post

If you already have the no-DJ version of Hannah Montana you don't need to bother with the rest of Migos' YRN mixtape because Trapis Porter isn't quite as good an idea as it sounds on paper. That one song, though, is like a Zaytoven luau party in Tijuana hosted by Gucci Mane's nephews and just about justifies the hype for a Rap group with one good song who sound like they're named after a seventies Doctor Who alien :

Migos - Hannah Montana
(From YRN mixtape; 2013)

*EDIT* Song removed for copyright infringement.

Wednesday 12 June 2013

Rappers who go to jail just to get their teeth fixed?

Wasn't particularly feelin' those couple of songs by Chicago's Z Money that David Drake was tryna push last year but Regular here is somethin' else altogether :

Z Money - Regular
(From the internet; 2013)

In this instance, Something else altogether translates as weirdly alluring Gucci Mane recurring-word-jam karaoke by a dude who rhymes like Rocko wearing Daphne from Eggheads' oversized dentures. Dook even looks like he's wearing dentures that are too big-for-his-gob a la the imperious Mrs Fowler for maximum lifestyle/Rap synergy.

Tuesday 11 June 2013

Let Noz down

Gunplay - Drop Da Tint
(From Acquitted mixtape; 2013)

Fuck me gently with 2 Chainz, this is that type of scandalously savage shit that'll make one of Noz's fellow first wave Rap bloggers start spazzin' out in front of chix, son.

*Jim Jones ad lib voice* I THINK SHE LIKE ME! *Jim Jones ad lib voice*

Rap blogger trivia : as a teenager Robbie Unkut attended acting classes with Dan "Rick Alessi from Neighbours" Falzon!

Monday 10 June 2013

A-Mafia post # 20454

Good news that nobody other than me and a bunch of guys from Lenox avenue will give a fuck about: A-Mafia finally released a no-DJ version of Story Of My Life on that best of mixtape he dropped over the weekend! Ain't gon' lie like last year's Straight Savage 'tape wasn't his worst post-prison project to date but its two highlights - this and Realest N*gga In My City - are two of the best songs he's ever done and both are the anti-A$AP Mob(*1) as far as modern Uptown Rap goes:

"And it always be the n*gga that start the drama
Then when you spark the llama he wanna paint pictures like a art designer!"

A-Mafia - Story Of My Life
(From Street Anthems : The Best Of A-Mafia mixtape; 2013)

Because I love Harlem henchman-Rap like Fat Trel loves baring his weird pointy moobs at video cameras, ya boy Frances Cap Peel right chea felt inspired to put together a little 6-song RAR of some great 2003 - 2005 A-Mafia joints as a companion to my very own Mafia primer compilation.

A-Mafia - Before Maf' EP

1. Hell For A Hustla
2. The 'Jects remix (with Jim Jones)
3. Mafia Anthem
4. I Ain't Playin'
5. Everywhere
6. 40th Boys (with 40 Cal)


(*1) The real tragedy of Summer Jam 2013 wasn't the sheer indifference to Papoose's stage invasion/performance, but the worst Rapper forever ever ever ever ever A$AP Ferg being given a slot on the bill.

Sunday 9 June 2013

Eldorado Red involved in Lil' Phat's murder shockah!


Eldorado Red - Paint The Town Red
(From Paint The Town Red mixtape/Summer Grind mixtape; 2006)

As a betting man, my money was on Lil' Phat's murder being a possible byproduct of the beef between Boosie and Phat's dad Mel. In my wildest dreams I couldn't have imagined it'd transpire to be a hit orchestrated by a Russian mafioso goomba who dealt in stolen luxury cars, a college basketball star from San Francisco, and the Harlem Rapper whose signature joint up top soundtracked numerous 'hood DVD interviews including one of the all time classic shit-talking jousts.

Weirdest whodunnit in the history of Rap, innit? Props to DGB for the reporting.

Thursday 6 June 2013

Reasons why I love Youtube # 43

Two of my Rap obsessions old and new in one video - in the new corner we have Posta Boy's undefeated eight week run on Freestyle Friday, and in the old corner we have Immortal Technique huffing 'n' puffing before getting the living shit sonned out of him :

"I'm the best in the game, I know that you hate this
Shave off your moustache you look like a rapist!"

Give it up for Immortal Technique, the only Rapper on the planet who can make the Bad Boy For Life instrumental sound horrible.

Monday 3 June 2013

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus

But it doesn't matter if you have a pussy or a penis because all of our lives have been enriched by Suga Free's scriptures :