Friday 30 March 2018

Generic list post: March 2018

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Soundcloud-rap's Captain Save-A-Paedo army formed like Voltron.

Ghost8800 - Sonic Boom (video mix) (2012)
Mozzy - Who I Am (2018)
Roc Marciano - 67 Lobby (2018)
Rich Blue - Hands Hands (2018)
The J.B.'s - Crossover (1977)
Diana Ross ft. Michael Mars Bar - Upside Down (Live) (1981)

Other notables: initially dismissed OMB Peezy's Ride as corny Po Pimp nostalgia, but that shit is a grower if you can get your noggin' around the notion of Peezy doing a Rap & Bullshit radio jam; Juice & Gin is what Two 16's might have sounded like if Valee had complimented ZMoney's verse rather than just dropping a breezeblock of words on there with no regards for the rest of the track; those two singles by Quelle Chris & Jean Grae are more like soundtracks to alt-comedy videos than songs; YG and Queen Key both let ya host down with their respective new singles.

Monday 26 March 2018

Clear and Present Ginger

The Jamie Jinx™ strikes again! I'm not sayin' that El-P is a danger to ethnic minorities, but it's very suspicious how every blk guy who aligns themselves with him ends up consumed by the ginger fire, innit? Casualties thus far include them 2 other blokes from Company Flow, Cannibal Ox (especially Vordul), the late Camu Tao, and now Killer Mike. You can bet your arse that Mr. Lif woke up this morning in a cold sweat.

So, what does the (probable) dissolution of Run The Jewels mean in the grand scheme of The Culture? Your buddies who "don't usually like rap BUT..." are gonna have to find themselves a new group to stan for, and El-P is gonna have to find himself a new blk rapper to ruin with his terrible production.

"Yo El, you crazy for this one, son!"

Saturday 24 March 2018


... And speaking of fan-made GTA videos for rap songs, here's one for Tay-K's After You. Wonderful union of sound & image for the "now his bitch's ass on my dick in the bathroom" lyric at 0:33.

Tay-K - After You
(From YouTube; 2018)

Tuesday 20 March 2018

The Boss & The Nonce (no Rick Ross & World Ultimate)

* You can enjoy this video without feeling a sliver of guilt because serial-pederast Michael "Mars Bar" Jackson probably hadn't bummed any children at this point. Similarly, you can still slap the Jackson 5's cover of I'll Bet You and the whole Off The Wall album for the same reason.

* The 2nd best Diana Ross live video after the Muppet Show performance of Love Hangover or wot? Old gal describes herself as "a tunnel for others with talent to move through me" in this clip, but she's more of a conduit for the joy that music can bring innit.

* It's apt that Bananarama were the biggest girl-group since The Supremes because neither trio could dance for toffee. Thing is, it doesn't even matter that Diana cuts a rug with all the grace of your aunty Liz when Boney M's Rivers Of Babylon comes on the pub jukebox, because she oozes class.

* Alas, Upside Down does not lend itself to Vaporwave as well as It's Your Move did.

Saturday 17 March 2018

The A in GTA stood for Agallah

Agallah ft. Sean Price & Bazaar Royale - Rising To The Top
(From GTA III Game Radio FM station; 2001)

I've never even played played the 3rd Grand Theft Auto game and yet this fan-made video has still got ya host opin like them mans in the YouTube comments. On the 5 Star Millas scale, Rising To The Top rates as an 8-Off out of 5 song; Propane & Primo were nice, but Propane & Pricey were the best.

Bet Agallah was shitting twiglets with rage when he found out that Duck Down Records' HCACIC Dru-Ha removed his verse from Tel E Mundo and polished some of the grit outta the beat for the song's inclusion on Boot Camp Clik's Collect Dis Edition compilation. O.G version FTW 4 life:

Agallah ft. Ruck aka Sean Price - Tel E Mundo
(From Agallah's Da Mix Tape Iz The Album mixtape; 2001)

PS: Never forget that Sean P's babby boy could pronounce Agallah better than Jim Jones.

Thursday 15 March 2018

IDGAF: The Next Level

"I don't give a fuck, diggin' in her motherfuckin' purse
Diggin' in her purse like she dead in a hearse
I don't give a fuck like Herschel
I don't give a fuck, we gonna tear down Marshalls"

Rich Blue - Hands Hands
(From YouTube; 2018)

Shout out to Chris Parker, we in this bitch! The missing link between Bass and Based or wot? To paraphrase an infamous mixtape ad-lib by DJ Kay Slay, ONLY DETROIT COULDA DONE THIS, YO!!!

"Read the bible, it say don't with Rich Blue, told you don't fuck with me too
Read the commandments, it said don't fuck with Rich Blue, I swear that's number 52!"

Tuesday 13 March 2018

If we sacrifice Lee Mack to a volcano can we get Craig Mack back?

Damn, son! Bad Boy Records is lookin' like the Overlook Hotel of Rap right now - a cursed entity with the data to turn ya body into anti-matter, and anyone who was ever employed there is guaranteed eternal damnation in its ballroom of lost souls. Protect Black Rob at all costs.

R.I.P to the only rapper with a fly government name, a pioneering figure in Gettin' Retarded, and an arguable forefather of what's now known as 'Mumble-Rap'. Granted, both of Craig Mack's albums were glorified ashtrays, but from the MC EZ & Troup 12" in 1988 right up to his indie 12"s a decade or so later, Mack was #actually a Consistently Good Singles Artist™. Here's yer proof in the form of a generic list post:

MC EZ & Troup - Get Retarded (1988)
MC EZ & Troup - Just Rhymin' (1988)
Craig Mack - Flava In Ya Ear (1994)
Craig Mack ft. Notorious B.I.G, LL Cool J etc - Flava In Ya Ear (Remix) (1994)
Craig Mack - Making Moves With Puff (1994)
Craig Mack - Get Down (1994)
Craig Mack - Jockin' My Style (1997)
Craig Mack - Style (1997)
Craig Mack - Please Listen To My Demo (1999)
Craig Mack - The Wooden Horse (1999)
Craig Mack - Brand New N*gga (2000)
Craig Mack - Mack Come Thru (2000)

You won't be around next year, and, sadly, neither will he now. Drinks in the air for Mack, folks: the only man to get any decent use out of Das EFX post-1992.

Friday 9 March 2018

"I been slappin' all my life, you been slappin' for a month"

"I'm ridin' round town, bitch, I gotta keep it trill
Wakin' bitches up with the speakers in the grill
Even if you deaf I bet a n*gga can feel
'Cause the rear view mirror shakin' like it got the chills"

Ghost8800 - Sonic Boom (video mix)
(From YouTube; 2012)

Ain't gon' lie, ya host had never heard this revamped mix of Ghost8800's MySpace staple Sonic Boom until what would have been his birfday today. Same Gas as the O.G version but with at least 50% more crispy pop in its trunk. Song's been slappin' since last decade, but I'd never blapped it like this until tonight.

Thursday 8 March 2018

Everything's fine, but I'm in a 1997 state of mind

Worst than purgatory? Yeah, word to me! One of my favourite N.Y indie-era 12"s this; Piece Of The Action flirts with Jigginess to the extent that even Funkmaster Flex played it, while Seeds Of Hate was best described within the pages of On The Go magazine:

Friday 2 March 2018

Now I can talk MY shit

Unpopular opinion: Valee's much-heralded verse on Two 16's was impressive from a theatrical standpoint on the breath control tip, but not particularly enjoyable from a musical standpoint because it was a blatant act of attention-hogging on someone else's song and a waste of all the little melodic tricks Valee has up the sleeves of his Adidas tracksuits. Juice & Gin here is the song Two 16's would have been if Valee had complimented ZMoney's verse rather than just dropping a breezeblock of words on there with no regards for the rest of the track.

Valee - Juice & Gin
(From GOOD Job, You Found Me EP; 2018)

Really doe, ya host just hopes Seen Her Before doesn't end up being an outlier in Valee's catalogue because Makonnentosh Plus is a song-style which needs to blossom into a full-blown sound. Once more for doz that slept:

Valee - Seen Her Before
(From 1988 mixtape; 2017)