21 Years Later

Z-Ro - Mo City Don (Freestyle) (video)
(From Let The Truth Be Told album; 2005/YouTube; 2026)

It's never too late for a proper video to one of the greatest songs in Texas Rap history. A song with no actual chorus which is #actually one long chorus innit. Just press stop or rewind at the 4:30 mark because no discerning Rap connoisseur needs to be reminded of what comes next. True story: when I first copped the Let The Truth Be Told I was so stuck on this song I didn't even listen to the rest of the album until days later. And so here's a generic list post of 30 first songs on albums which were so good they had me in a headlock for days.

Henry Mancini - The Pink Panther Theme (1963)
The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Foxy Lady (1967)
Isaac Hayes - Walk On By (1968)
Curtis Mayfield - (Don't worry) If There's A Hell Below.. (1970)
Baby Huey & The Babysitters - Listen To Me (1971)
Lalo Schifrin - Theme From Enter The Dragon (1973)
Thin Lizzy - Jailbreak (1976)
The Damned - Neat Neat Neat (1977)
Ramones - I Just Wanna Have Something To Do (1978)
Madness - One Step Beyond (1979)
Michael Jackson - Don't Stop Til You Get Enough (1979)
Motörhead - Ace Of Spades (1980)
Prince - Let's Go Crazy (1984)
Run-D.M.C - Peter Piper (1986)
Beastie Boys - Rhymin' & Stealin (1986)
Eric B. & Rakim - Follow The Leader (1988)
Danzig - Twist Of Cain (1988)
N.W.A - Straight Outta Compton (1989)
Kool G. Rap & DJ Polo - Road To The Riches (1989)
Digital Underground - The Humpty Dance (1989)
Freddie Foxxx - The Master (1989)
Faith No More - From Out Of Nowhere (1989)
LL Cool J - Mama Said Knock You Out (1990)
Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit (1991)
Soundgarden - Rusty Cage (1991)
The Diplomats - Un Kasa (2003)
Andre Nickatina - Conversation With A Devil (2003)
Mac Dre - Feelin' Myself (2004)
Z-Ro - Mo City Don (Freestyle) (2005)
Young Bleed - Stamp On It (2011)

You can play this game with me if you want, but there's one rule: all first songs on albums which are preceeded by a skit or an intro are officially excluded.

Shoes Up, Bros Down

Treal Lee & Prince Rick - Shoes Up
(From DJ Fletch presents Treal Lee & Prince Rick - Throwed Off mixtape; 2011)


Here's a Martorialist favourite which has otherwise been wiped from the internet. This deep cut by Treal Lee & Prince Rick was a Dallas equivalent of JR Writer's Grill 'Em or 3 Deep's Watch My Shoes. The song was the next step in club bad behaviour for Lee & Rick after Throwed Off (F**k Everybody): a dystopian vision of the dancefloor populated by a thousand Gary Bushells with nary a Darcey Bussell in sight. Plus, it features one of the most Tonally-Consistent™ DJ-drops ever with "F**K YOUR WHOLE LIVES, IT'S DJ FLETCH!!!"

Sister Soulja Slim

"You not invited to the cookout
But you can watch from the middle of the streets, be the lookout"

Monaleo - Sexy Soulaan
(From Who Did The Body album; 2025)


I'm feelin' Monaleo's pivot to Conscious (Gran)daughter with Sexy Soulaan and Spare Change from her new album. Peep the storytelling to make Ice-T proud on the latter song. Don Who Leo is dead, welcome to the Leokim Shabazz era.

The Trill That's Real (part 2)

KenTheMan - Not My N*gga (extended version)
(From Not My N*gga (extended version) single; 2023)


Another good single by KenTheMan which I'd missed. An extended version in this era? That's rarer than a copy of Beat Bop with the Basquiat artwork. We've been living in a golden age of Snooty Birds Talking Flagrant Shit-core Rap singles for these last 5 years.

The Trill That's Real

KenTheMan - First
(From First single; 2024)


I'd heard loadsa singles by Texas' KenTheMan except the good one right here. A glaring omission from my favourite Rap songs by Da Ladeez 2020 to 2025 list or wot? There's also a remix with Monaleo where Monaleo says "Ima get the head first and foremost, then leave him outside like a dog at a door post." Very spiteful bird-brain Rap par excellence. Posting this one for the tru hedz who recognise & realise that KenTheMan is the new version of Lil' Fame's old m8 Big Ken. That's right, 4 Star Bitches with blokes names are back!

He wanna bang-bang, but when he see me in the streetz he call me gang gang

"If a n*gga cheat on me, ima cheat back
Ain't no bitch f*ckin' wit' me, I'll swat her like a gnat
If you ever kissed my n*gga just know you eatin' ass
I might lend you that n*gga just to show I'll get him back
I ain't never been no pussy, but this pussy straight gat
I got that that FIYA FIYA FIYA from the back"

Sunnitharapper ft. OnlyHeaven - Shake Down
(From Shake Down single; 2025)


Just when I thought I was gonna spend the entire week listening to nothing but The Cramps' early shit and Wham's Everything She Wants, some XXXtra p0rnish bird-Bounce pulls me back in. If I die 2nite, let my gravestone say He could never escape Rap music. Warning: this song features a very unexpected Oochie Wally interpolation when our 2 hosts are rhyming about the hoochie coochie.

Ladeez First

Monaleo - We On Dat
(From We On Dat single; 2025)


A good example of why Rap songs with choruses are invariably better than Rap songs without. And this song features a chorus so catchy it sounds like summat kidz have been singing in the playground for the last 50 years. Best Monaleo song since the We Not Humping remix or wot?

Mello Music Group (part 2)

Mello Buckzz ft. Monaleo - Move Pt. 2
(From Move Pt. 2 single; 2025)


Two of my favourite singles of the past five years are Move by Mello Buckzz and We Not Humping by Monaleo. Both songs are my ideal standard for modern Rap singles: high BPM big choonz full of big shit talk. And so it makes perfect sense that Monaleo should be the guest for the remix to Mello's Move. Most modern remixes bring out my John Self and have me thinking "what is the point of you?", but, much like the We Not Humping remix with Flo Milli, you can jam the original Move and the remix back-to-back like late buses. Props to Monaleo for selling that "if you scared, bitch, call ya mom because I'm The Bomb.com" with the sheer chutzpah of a Lyricist Lounge rapper in 1998.

Bonus beats: this Mello single from last year has really grown on me. Back when it first dropped I listened to it a few times and thought it was cool. But now I stay spinnin' this shit like a CD. This shit should be retitled Brrr.. BD because it's some Chicago street-Rap that's colder than no clothes in some place like Nova Scotia.

Mello Buckzz ft. G-Herbo - Hmm.. BD
(From Hmm.. BD single; 2024)


Even when Mello drops a single 4 the streetz she still keeps the video packed with more arses than the women's toilets in M&S. Pray 4 those old dears with weak bladders waiting in the snaking queues for the M&S bogs.

Large Processor

BigXthaPlug - The Largest
(From Take Care album; 2024)


I'm not sayin' nostalgia is a good thing, I'm just sayin' that the best BigXthaPlug songs are the ones which sound like Swisha House songs from 20 years ago. Plz believe The Largest is one of those songs. BigX reminds me of a Texan equivalent of Duke Deuce: he's a modern incarnation of an old sound which has never dated, but he only manages to nail that sound once or twice per album.

Everlasting Ass

Lebra Jolie ft. DJ Chose - FTN
(From FTN single; 2024)


Ya host ain't from Houston, but he know where the Texarse. Lebra Jolie's What Kinda is one of my favourite songs of the past few years, but I'd mentally filed her away as a One Song Wonder™ and never bothered to check for her again. Now I'm slangin' humble pie & St. Ides in the same sentence because her new single is some Misandry Bass music for the Roxanne's Revenge-core canon. If Martorialist Radio existed, I'd start every summer 2024 show with this song and Move by Mello Buckzz. Great video too: it's basically streamable p0rnography but without the adverts for webcam girls and penis enlargers. Three thumbs up, one's not a thumb tho...

Beers, Steers, and Rears

AMB EZ ft. Nasty Nell - Birthday (video mix)
(From YouTube; 2024)


Plz believe I'm always down for some prime booty-chatter Bounce music, even if it does hail from Texas. In fact, this shit is what I wish Big Choo's recent single sounded like. Peep that Lacoste shirt & shorts co-ord Nasty Nell is decked out in - a 2024 take on Jamel Shabazz tenniscore or wot?

Moe B

Big Moe ft. Mike Wilson - Leave Drank Alone
(From Moe World album; 2003)


Is Leave Drank Alone Rap's most uplifting and wholesome song about addiction? Rest In peace Big Moe, I wish you hadn't filled your albums with verses from your m8s because them songs where you went sing-sang for self are a missing link between Nate Dogg and Max B. In fact, Just A Dog (Club) is a key song in the proto-Wavy canon innit?

Big Moe - Just A Dog (Club)
(From Moe World album; 2003)

Switches of Beatwick

BeatKing ft. Sukihana, Princess & Diamond - On Yo Head (remix)
(From the internet; 2023)


I ain't tryna get all Black Eyed Peas on youse lot, but where is the love for this song? The Texan equivalent of ah slumper, this is one of 2023's most ig'nant Rap songs. It's also far superior to the original version and not just because BeatKing reunited Princess & Diamond from Crime Mob - the original suffered from a beat-switch which sucked all the energy outta that shit. It's 2023 and rappers are still making the rookie mistake of recording songs with beat-switches where the 2nd beat is an anti-climax. The trick is that two different beats in the SAME DAMN SONG will only consolidate if both beats are of equal quality and the beat which closes the song is the 'ardest. Rappers need to study Andre Nickatina & San Quinn's Saw A Gangsta Cry as an example of how beat-switches should be done.

Andre Nickatina ft. San Quinn - Saw A Gangsta Cry
(From These R The Tales album; 2000)

Andre Nickatina · Saw A Gangsta Cry

A Banner year part 2

"What type of n*gga wear his homeboy shit?
In his baby mama crib, ridin' his baby mama whip
Man, what type of n*gga tell lies on his dick?
Always runnin' to the 'gram every time he hit a lick"

Lebra Jolie - What Kinda
(From Lebra Jolie EP; 2022/YouTube; 2023)


File this alongside YRB NY's Replace Me in the canon of Like A Pimp beat refreaks by Da Ladeez. We're equal opportunity haters here at The Martorialist and so of course we appreciate when a lass comes through talking disrespectful big shit about the lads. Essentially, this song is the latest entry into the sub-genre of Rap known as Roxanne's Revenge-core.

IF U A RESPECTABLE FELLA WHO HANDLE THEY BIZ AND TAKE CARE OF YO BIZ AND KIDZ U LAPHING AND LUVING THIS LEBRA JOLIE SONG! IF U MAD U THE ONE LEBRA TALKIN BOUT BITCH-BOY!!!!!!

No love for boppers, they smell like cocks

Texas Boyz - Awready
(From Digital Playaz EP; 2022)


I presume Awready by Texas Boyz is a budding viral hit because it's been regularly popping up in random Instagram stories for the past month or so. Big grower tune for me where the "EUREKA!" moment came when I realised it sounds like Z Money & Bandman Kevo if they were signed to Swisha House Records. 281-330-8004, hit Texas Boyz up on the low because Texas Boyz caught Mike Jones' holy ghost.

Bonus Beats: Know What I'm Saying was my jam from Mike Jones' first album. Evidently Max B agreed with me because he beatjacked it for one of the highlights of Public Domain (The Prequel).

Max B - Have U Seen Her?
(From Public Domain (The Prequel) mixtape; 2007)

Max B · Have U Seen Her

Immaculate taste that fella... and Max's taste ain't bad either tbf.

Late pass!

Monaleo - We Not Humping
(From We Not Humping single; 2021)


How come none of you fooken' humps told me about this song eh eh? Could end up being my favourite 2022 song which #actually dropped in December 2021. There's a remix of this with Flo Milli that's a better City Girls single than City Girls' latest single, but it ain't as satisfying as Monaleo's solo O.G version. As D.W Griffiths' nearly said, all you need is a girl rhyming about her guns.

Other contenders for my favourite 2022 song which #actually dropped in December 2021: Sometimes by Tony Shhnow and Road To Riches by Yuno Miles.

While you was playing Duck Hunt, we was hunting ducats

Tisakorean - Pocket Fulla Ducks
(From 1st Round Pick EP; 2022)


Rap music to make the birds drop dead from the trees. Kinda feelin' Tisakorean's Pocket Fulla Ducks because it sounds like Yungstar made a song in a Peruvian cave with Don Lope de Aguirre's personal panpipe player. Can I get a toot-toot?


Between this and Yuno Miles' Road To Riches, ramshackle zoomer shitpost Rap seems to be floating my boat this week. Or maybe I'm just in a daft mood generally because I had Edan's Let's B. Friends on repeat a few days ago. Davy DMX chopped the record down to the bone so Edan could flip it and bounce it into the most wholesome Rap bro-out ever.

Edan - Let's B. Friends
(From Sprain Your Tapedeck EP; 2001)

EDAN · Let's B. Friends

True story: Lil B's I'm Gay (I'm Happy) album was an unsubconscious swagger-jack of Let's B. Friends whole vibe.

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday...

Coop MC - Blue Sunday
(From Home Of The Killers album; 1995)

🎲 𝕱𝖚𝖓𝕶𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖎 🎲 · Coop MC - Blue Sunday

T-Funk! If Coop MC had been from Houston rather than Fort Worth would Blue Sunday be to Texas what MC Eiht's Streiht Up Menace is to California? I ain't qualified to answer that question tbqh. All I can say with any degree of certainty is that Blue Sunday is one of those Rap songs which will have you pondering your own mortality on any given day of the week. Everybody dies, B - you tuff, you'll be aiight.

A bum note

"Whassup Brie?
Whassup Kei?
Whassup Lisa? Damn, I want all three!
Ohhh Ashlee, ohhh Ashlee
I get hard when she walk past me"

DJ Chose ft. BeatKing - Thick
(From YouTube; 2020)


Put a badunkadunk on it! Ain't gonna lie, I much prefer this to BeatKing's own Then Leave. In fact, I'd opine that Thick is the best Booty-Chatter™ slumper since Back It Up by Trap Beckham & Flo Milli. Three is still the magic number for DJ Chose & BeatKing; for the rest of us, however, good things come in twos like arse cheeks.

Stupid Doo Dude Dumb

View this post on Instagram

Treal Playa's @devindude420 #Tbt

A post shared by Official ThizzNation (@thizznationbiz) on Oct 8, 2020 at 8:57am PDT

When regional G.O.A.T's collide or wot? Sux these two never recorded any music together because they'd have surely had great chemistry beyond their shared penchant for being photographed on the bog for their respective 1998 albums. Imagine Dre on a Devin song like Go Somewhere or Devin on a Dre song like Dreganomics. Alternatively, you can always just pretend that Pawns In The Game was a Domo beat for Devin's first album which Dre nicked for himself.

Mac Dre - Pawns In The Game
(From Khayree's vaults; 1997/The Musical Life Of Mac Dre Vol 3 album; 2014)