Juke them, hoes. Here's a Chicago Drill & Bass booty-chatter booty-clapper with a video that's even more lesbo-erotic than Love Lies Bleeding, albeit minus the gross toe-sucking. Two thumbs up (the butt.)
Why did the Funktown rapper switch careers from Ice Cream Man to FedEx Man? Because he didn't wanna work sundaes. Eh, I got 99 problems, but flakey jokes ain't 1.
Ezale's back like next year puttin' the fun into function musik with a single he originally teased two years ago. Naturally, it's another ToNHTe Show-core slap from Jac Dre AKA the missing link between Jackie Chain and Mac Dre. When that vocal sample hits I'm pullin' Thizz Faces like I just smelt my own piss after eatin' asparagus. I'm always moaning that Ezale doesn't drop enough music, but all 5 of his comeback singles have been hot like Kampot Pepper Crab, and I'll always prefer rappers who drop a hot single and then dip to rappers who stink the Rap landscape up releasing 337 brainfart freestyle tracks every 365 days. When I say Ezale is the Rap equivalent of Drexl from True Romance I ain't just talkin' about their shared penchant for dreadlocks and droppin' n-bombs, boiiiiii - I'm talkin' their maximum impact via minimum appearance-time.
"He musta thought it was whiteboy day. It ain't whiteboy day is it?"
"Talkin' about you sell dope, you 'bout to hop in Lambos
You live with yo' momma, and she live with yo' grandma
Spent yo' last on the ruger, now you ain't got no ammo
Now when my soljas catch ya you gon' think they wearin' camo"
Foxx - Shut Up
(From Foxx Mayweather mixtape; 2012)
I'm all up in your Best Rap Dis Songs Of All Time Spotify playlist editing it to include Foxx's Shut Up. This shit was directed at Mista and Young Ready, but the specifics of the beef aren't important: it's just a funny slice of Louisiana tuba-step with zingers which have ricocheted & reverberated around my brain for the last 12 years. "Shootin' with yo' eyes closed hopin' you don't hit shit/Oh you a hitman, but in jail you hit dicks!"
The same mixtape Shut Up comes from contains one of Foxx's best singles I Wonder. One of the ultimate Baton Rouge barbiturate-ballads. War inside in my head Blues-Rap for brothers with suicidal tendencies like Rocky George.
"Sometimes I wonder if I put this pistol to my head
I wonder if my problems'll go away when I'm head
Then I think about my momma and my kids in that bed
And then I pop another bar instead"
Foxx - I Wonder
(From Foxx Mayweather mixtape; 2012)
M8, this song has grown on me like toe hair. I went from thinking 'this shit is cool' to thinking 'this shit is as good as FNF (Let's Go).' Most importantly it conclusively proves that GloRilla has broken Rap's cosmetic dentistry curse wherein a rapper gets their teeth fixed and their music forever takes a dramatic dip in quality thereafter (see: Nas, Gucci Mane, King Louie, Young Thug etc.) Knuck if you buck the Curse! Ain't gonna lie, I was completely oblivious to the Run Up Get Dun Up song it interpolates until now. Some of you muhf*ckers will probably front that you had it in your 2009 year end list which has now conveniently vanished from the internet, but I can smell a lie like a fart in a phone booth. This is the best Crime Mob song Crime Mob never recorded.
DaBanggaz314 - Run Up Get Dun Up
(From Run Up Get Dun Up single; 2009)
Bonus beats: the only rapper whose music #actually improved when they got their teeth fixed was Consequence. Rock N Roll is a personal indie-era classic/ya host's favourite random Dilla production, but there's no doubt Con's music got better after his oversized dentures transformed him into Terry Turkey Teeth in the mid 2000s.
Consequence ft. KanYe Pest - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
(From various mixtapes; 2002/Don't Quit Your Day Job album; 2007)
Yeah, America invented House music, but Britain gave that shit wings and made it fly. Here's inarguable proof via a 55 second live clip filmed at Liverpool's infamous Quadrant Park club circa 1991. What Liverpool lacked in having its own equivalent of 808 State or A Guy Called Gerald, the city made up for by knowing how to party. Someone in the YouTube comments reckons that this clip is "quite simply the best clubbing video on the entire internet!" Me, I'd crank the hyperbole-o-meter up even further: in the 4.5 billion years Earth has existed there has never been a better example of man & music in absolute euphoric synergy than when that beat drops at the 24 seconds mark.
Every 90s British Rave club had one freakishly tall shirtless bloke who was a dead-ringer for Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
