Saturday 30 January 2016

Generic list post: january 2016

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when rap went from Invasion Of The Flat Booty Bitches to Invasion Of The Flat-Earth Truthers.

Had fun posting about everything from Grand Puba deep cuts to U.K handbag-house classix to David Bowie giving his blessing to Suga Free's most hateful song to Only Fools & Horses back tattoos to the best slaps of the past half-decade this month. Had WAY more fun away from t'internet blastin' these songs, though. Hat tip to RMH for the BallGreezy track - who'd a thunk Waviness woulda been splashin' up on the Miami strip club circuit back in 2007?

Melle Mel - Westwood freestyle (1994)
BallGreezy - Shone (2007)
AV LMKR - Money Dance (2015)
Lil' Yase & Yatta - Get It In (2015)
Nef The Pharaoh - No Masturbation (2015)
Nef The Pharaoh ft. Philthy Rich - #Saydaat (2016)
Ka - Delaney Card (2016)
Boosie - Forgive Me Being Lost (2016)
Boosie - Smile To Keep From Crying (2016)
HotStylz - TONIK (The Only N*gga I Know) (2016)
Colonel Loud ft. Too $hort, Snoop & Ricco Barrino - California (remix) (2016)
Jacquees - Know You (2016)
Dami Bones ft. Kamo, Prince & Notch - Da Beat (2015)
Kwamz & Flava - Take Over (2016)
Popcaan - Wicked Man Thing (2015)
Popcaan - Tight Pussy Wine (2016)
Spice - Sight & Wine (2016)

Other notables: also really dug Devils Team by Nef & The Pharaoh & Mozzy; woulda dug Mozzy's Be Here if it weren't for the cack hook which sounds like it's been copy & pasted in from another song entirely; ditto Candy Red by Slim 400 et al; waitin' to dig Ezale's Day One but it still only exists as an Instagram snippet.

Friday 29 January 2016

British man posts songs from Soundcloud

Lil' Yase - Gigalo
(From Soundcloud; 2015)

First time I listened to Lil' Yase's Gigalo I was like "yo, why is the Get It In guy makin' this ironic Wavery-core fuckery?" Second time I listened to Gigalo I was like "oh, this kinda sounds like DB Tha General if he'd signed to Thizz Entertainment and taken advantage of the copious amounts of MDMA the label was trafficking, though." Third time I listened to Gigalo I was like "whoa, THIZZZZZZZZZ IS IT!"

New Age Muzik - Da Beat
(From Soundcloud; 2015)

First time I listened to Da Beat by New Age Muzik I was like "yo, is Abrantee playing a new Kwamz & Flava tune?" Second time I listened to Da Beat I was like "oh, it's some other British brehs also infusing Aftobeats with rap." Third time I listened to Da Beat I was like "whoa, the U.K/Africa crossover hasn't produced anything this downright sensual since the days of Soul II Soul!"

Wednesday 27 January 2016

I'm on the phone talkin' like it's just you & me

LOL how's Max B sang-rapping over the phone from prison on top of a Dilla instrumental still better than 90% of N.Y rap made during the past half decade? Dame Grease initially released this track as Max's official response to KanYe West calling his new album Waves, but later admitted it's just an older recording he's had in the stash for a while. Regardless, if the Yeezy Boost fits, wear that shit:

Max B - My Wave (Message For KanYe West)
(From Dame Grease's Audiomack; 2016)

Riddle me this, folks: how come Di World Boss Vybz Kartel can record new music from his prison cell in Jamaica, yet the Boss Don Max Biggavelz can only record over the phone from prison in AmeriKKKa? Addi certainly ain't innocent, but Charly plausibly could be given the circumstantial evidence. Give that man a laptop with Pro Tools already, Bergen County!

Tuesday 26 January 2016

If I sin God forgive me but my baby need Pampers

"Mama strugglin', Grannie watch us, gangsta patnas, oh my
Can't afford it so we stole it, we was roaches, no lie
Saw my first body dead in the street at 8, oh my
Lil' Glenn just blew his brains out with his own fo' five"

Boosie - Forgive Me Being Lost
(From In My Feelings (Goin' Thru It) album; 2016)

The other Boosie song I really really really fuxwit from his latest album now has a video too. Much like Howlin' Wolf asked for water and then got gasoline, Boosie asked for money to buy nappies but life just gave him more shit instead.

Monday 25 January 2016

Boycie Da 5'9

This is like when wotshisface from Prison Break had that all-over tattoo done, but instead of it being a map of a secrete escape route outta the bing, this tattoo contains the answer to that immortal question: why did Trigger call Rodney Dave?

Never forget the Ruthless Records/Only Fools And Horses analogue me & Bradley came up with back in 2013.

Sunday 24 January 2016

Generic list post: the slap files (2010 - 2015)

Catch ya boy Foxx Mulduh hibernatin' like Eugene Tooms this afternoon, feasting on the slaps of NorCal rappers rather than the livers of dead humans. Decided to turn my contentment into #content with a generic list post of the 50 best northern California slaps made during the past 5 years as decided by a complete outsider to California Livin'. You don't like 'em? Respectfully kiss my arse 'til your lips bleed. Alternatively, drop them glaring omissions in the comments.

Too $hort - Bitch I'm A Pimp (2010)
E-40 ft. B-Legit - 43 (2012)
Droop-E ft. Nite Jewel & J. Stalin - 'N The Traffic (2013)
Cousin Fik - Knocka N*gga Down (2012)
22nd Letter - Blunt On Me (2015)
Clyde Carson ft. The Team - Slow Down (2012)
Ezale - Foreal Foreal (2013)
Dru Down ft. The Jacka - Hello Hello Hello (2012)
The Jacka ft. Dru Down & Joe Blow - The President's Face (2014)
Berner & The Jacka ft. Rydah J. Clyde - One Sound (2015)
Husalah - Da Mob (2011)
Mob Figaz - Loyal To The Mob (2011)
Joe Blow - The Dopest (2012)
Dubb 20 ft. Husalah - Been A While (2012)
NhT Boyz - Slidin' (2010)
A-Wax & Gonzoe ft. C-Murder - Natural Disasterz (2010)
A-Wax - Trainwreck (2014)
Bobby Brackins - Jon And Kate Plus 8 (2010)
Messy Marv - Real N*gga (2011)
HD of Bearfaced - 40 Glock USA (remix) (2012)
Young L - Young L-E-N (2010)
Lil B - Look Like Jesus (2010)
J. Stalin ft. The Jacka - Red & Blue Lights (2010)
Lil' Blood ft. J. Stalin - Sell My Coke (2010)
Philthy Rich ft. D-Lo & Stevie Joe - Ready To Ride (2010)
Beeda Weeda - Baserock Babies (2010)
Eddi Projex ft. Beeda Weeda - Gettin' G's (2010)
Kreayshawn - Gucci Gucci (2011)
Lil' Debbie - I Do My Thang (2014)
Keak Da Sneak - Maxi Pads (2010)
HBK Gang - She Ready (2010)
IamSu - Don't Matter (2011)
Sage The Gemini - Don't You (2013)
Show Banga ft. Sage The Gemini - I Been That (2014)
D-Mac ft. Sage The Gemini & Show Banga - Panoramic (2013)
Jay Ant - Ask Y.B (2014)
DB Tha General - Upgrade 'Em 2 (2011)
DJ Upgrade ft. Rico Tha Kidd - Hey Girl (2013)
Roach Gigz ft. Kreayshawn - Pussy Magnet (2013)
Young Lox - Legion Of Doom (2014)
D-Lo - Choppa Dance (2013)
Andre Nickatina ft. The Jacka - Square Crows (2011)
Mozzy - Wet Woozy Wop Em and Wolly (2013)
Nef The Pharaoh - Big Tymin' (2015)
Corn ft. Nef The Pharaoh - Old School Hyphy (2015)
The 99 Percent - Shabooyah! (2014)
Thug Lordz ft. Tha Realest - Mean Muggin' (2010)
Baby Bash ft. Baeza & G. Curtis - Certified Freak (2014)
Kamaiyah ft. Zay M - Out The Bottle (2015)
Lil' Yase & Yatta - Get It In (2015)

Ain't even worth anyone compiling this into a Spotify playlist since you can't find Foreal Foreal, Knocka N*gga Down, Blunt On Me, Baserock Babies, 40 Glock USA (remix). Young L-E-N, Look Like Jesus, Jon And Kate Plus 8 or Out The Bottle on there, and this list would be woefully incomplete without their presence.

Friday 22 January 2016

Go to Hell and be a felon before I snitch and go to Heaven

Nef The Pharaoh ft. Mozzy - Devils Team
(From Nef The Pharaoh & Cardo's Neffy Got Wings mixtape; 2016)

How ironic that the most Kush & OJ-soundin' ass song on Nef The Pharaoh & Cardo's collaboration mixtape should by the one featuring mainey Mozzy, huh? Typically, the highlights of Neffy Got Wings are the previously released #Saaydatt and Michael Jackson, but combine Devils Team here with those 2 jams you've got yourself a nice little imaginary maxi-cassette single. If anyone professionally reviewing the Nef & Cardo 'tape wants to use Thizz Khalifa as a descriptor for its aesthetic then plz donate the £5 you'll owe me to charity thanx.

Thursday 21 January 2016

I tried to get away but I couldn't get far, because I saw my man Westwood out by the bar

Step Guardiola upped a Melle Mel freestyle over The Message on Westwood in 1994 where Rap's original 'roid rager performs his famous verse in full and then flips Duke Bootee's 2 verses with a twist of vinegar for the fish & chips massive:

"John Major's ringin' Westwood's phone
So he can throw a jam at Nate Dogg's home"

Melle Mel - The Message freestyle
(From Westwood's Radio 1 show; 1994)

It's the C.O.D Father Part III, mushy peas, sippin' on some badly-brewed tea.

Monday 18 January 2016


Spice dropped a new song last week, but my favourite dancehall track right about now has to be that Popcaan song from the chode-end of 2015 where he goes all Pumdog Millionaire. Pardon the pun and all, but Popcaan's recent songs about semi-automatic weapons absolutely body his recent popular songs about smokin' weed. Naturally, all of the above slaughter the corny Jamie Xx song deader than Jade Goody or Jo from S Club 7's post-Celebrity Big Brother career. U.K headz - I do this 4 u!!

Popcaan - Wicked Man Thing
(From the internet; 2015)

Sunday 17 January 2016

It was all good just a week ago 4 real

Or, in this instance, foreal foreal.

Ezale's next single sounds right up my road judging from the trailer here, but Instagram snippets have a tendency to lead to instant disappointments. When Nef The Pharaoh posted a teaser for Mozzy's Be Here on the 'gram in early January, I thought the rapper formerly known as Lil' Tim had the song to capitalize on his buzz: a low-key mob music equivalent of what Lemonade was to Gucci Mane in 2009. Then that shit dropped in plena a week later and what June On A Beat gaveth Mozzy with the Buck Rogers boom-clack production, he also tooketh away with his crappy hook which sounds like it'd been slid in from another song entirely. My heart sank like "no thanks!"

It sucks when you set your expectations too high (geddit?). What's really gonna suck, however, is if this Ezale single features a guest verse from G-Eazy.

Saturday 16 January 2016

British man posts rap songs from Soundcloud

HotStylz - TONIK (The Only N*gga I Know)
(From Soundcloud; 2016)

On one hand, the internet now enables every one hit wonder to hang around endlessly flinging songs at Soundcloud forever ever ever ever; on the other hand, the internet also now enables every one hit to hang around endlessly flinging songs at Soundcloud until they eventually come up with another legitimate bangeur. It's taken the Lookin' Boy lads close to a decade to record another snap-tremendo where anybody & everybody can get it, but here we are in 2016 with TONIK (The Only N*gga I Know). Can't put shit past 'em, got mans on they own song mad enough to pwn 'em.

Colonel Loud ft. Too $hort, Snoop & Ricco Barrino - California (remix)
(From Soundcloud; 2016)

Colonel Loud's hit single over the We Are One loop is a Club 18 - 35 Players Holiday to the best coast by 3 outta-state rappers & their crooner buddy, but the song is so much more evocative now it's been remixed to feature a couple of native points of view from Too $hort & Snoop in the place of of T.I imagining himself in a Doggy Style interlude and Young Dolph pretending he's bezzie mates with Crips & Bloods from Inglewood. Ain't no Freaky Tales without them locale-specific details.

Friday 15 January 2016

Song from Eden

Not only is Another Chance's 2007 single Everytime I See Her (Sound Of Eden) a staple of K-Klass' sunday afternoon sets to ageing ravers and aggy Scousers alike, it's the greatest K-Klass song never wrote. Why? Because it took a somewhat dated early 90s classic and transformed it into another timeless pop masterpiece like K-Klass' remix of Bobby Brown's Two Can Play That Game. How? Via the fine art of marshalling Jefferson.

The song's greatness, however, extends far beyond the house that jack built: those handbag-pianos and wailing diva breakdowns are ripe for someone like Jackie Chain to rap over; the vocalist bloke practically invented Future's Sh!t flow the way he said "THAT.. GIRL.. HAS.. QUALITY.. I'VE.. NEVER.. SEEN!" in the lead up to the first chorus; and that video is a Captain Save A Hoe-themed episode of Skins as directed by Jerzy Skolimowski circa Deep End.

Frankie Knuckles never got to hear David Zowie's House Every Weekend, but at least he passed away safe in the knowledge that Everytime I See Her (Sound Of Eden) had perfecto-ed the artform he'd invented.

Another Chance - Everytime I See Her (Sound of Eden)
(From Everytime I See Her single; 2007)

Thursday 14 January 2016

This ain't the rain, this is the snow

Boosie gotta the only rapper alive who can sell a lyric like "sometimes I need me a friend, I got noone to call/I need me somebody who'll listen, maybe I need me a dog" with appropriate amounts of gravitas and wryness, right? Thus, Smile To Keep From Crying is my own personal jam from his most recent album because it's the only track on there which doesn't make me depressed enough to go drown myself in a toilet bowl afterwards.

Boosie Badazz - Smile To Keep From Crying
(From In My Feelings (Goin' Thru It) album; 2016)

Also thank that chipper piano loop for being an oxidant waitin' to happen on an otherwise uncomfortably-personal LP chocked full of industrial production.

Wednesday 13 January 2016

Reasons why I love YouTube: Young Bleed edition

It's 2016, do you know what that mean? It'll be a decade this summer since the video for Young Bleed's Put Your Stamp On It was first uploaded to YouTube in all its low bitrate splendour:

Young Bleed - Put Your Stamp On It
(From YouTube; 2006)

It took 5 years to get an unedited CDQ MP3 of Put Your Stamp On It, but 10 years on and there's still no dirty MP3 version of Bleed's other 2006 low bitrate YouTube minor-classic:

Big Mike & Six 2 ft. Young Bleed - Down Home
(From YouTube; 2006)

Alas, the Down Home video audio isn't good enough to rip, the MP3 which eventually turned up on that Lethal Entertainment compilation in 2011 was a clean edit, and the Big Mike & Six 2 album is still shelved indefinitely like its a Jerry Lewis Holocaust comedy.

Free the dirty Down Home MP3 already! That song's done more time than Shyne.

Tuesday 12 January 2016


AV LMKR - Money Dance
(From Compton 2 Riches mixtape; 2015)

Right about now, AV's Money Dance is my favourite desperate attempt at a viral hit. A third generation chomp by this point, Money Dance is the exact sort of parasitic schlock you'd expect from one of Game's underlings, but ya host is a shameless mark for strip-club songs over piano samples, and this shit represents a significant evolution in hip hop kulcha by having a dance that's best performed on a mono-scooter. There's pedals to this shit in 2016!

Monday 11 January 2016

Cadillacs ain't gon' roll no mo' because David Bowie's gone?

R.I.P to the U.K's second most notable thin white Dave, a man whose greatest artistic achievement was letting Suga Free interpolate Fame for the track which all true Freelievers consider an Army Of Darkness-style sequel to parts one and two of Why U Bullshittin'. God should have never let you do dat to the 3rd Stooges album, Dave, but you're forever okay with me for signing off sample clearance on this Suga Free ode to his O.G baby-momma who supposedly provoked him into becoming a pimp:

Suga Free - Allergic To Bullshit
(From Smell My Finger album; 2008)

Just sayin', bruv: Suga Free is a more complete artist than Marvin Gaye because Allergic To Bullshit manages to accomplish in a single song what Marvin took a whole album to nail with Here, My Dear.

Friday 8 January 2016

F**k Little Bruce!

As we heard on Michael Jackson, Cardo beats & Nef The Pharaoh raps go together like babies & Facebook, and the Thizz Khalifa aesthetic they're cultivating is proving to be a surprisingly flexible sound: Michael Jackson was a pop-rap experiment as designed by Max Martin & Don Draper, while new track #Saaydaat is peak nonchalant Mannishness. Nef is probably surplus to requirements now Drake has scored some Instagram cool points off him, but if not then prepare yourself for the very real possibility that there might soon be a rap song which features the vocals of both Philthy Rich & The Canadian.

Nef The Pharaoh ft. Philthy Rich - #Saydaat
(From Soundcloud; 2016)

Related note: can I change my mind and admit that I've now come around to No Masturbation in a big way? Of course I can because writing about music should always be an ever-evolving conversation with yourself rather than a series of declarative statements forever fixed in stone. Hope Nef's gotten rapping about meeting Drake outta his system already here because if I wanted to listen to west coast rappers desperately attempting to attract The Canadian's attention then I'd just go play Game's last album.

Nef The Pharaoh - No Masturbation
(From Soundcloud; 2015)

Wednesday 6 January 2016

Do you believe in blog?

Shorty lemme tell you about my only vice, it got to do with the burgeoning friendship between Mozzy and Nef The Pharaoh but it ain't nothin' nice... it ain't nothin' nice!

"Let a cop try to pull that Baltimore shit on us
And we gonna f**k his ass up with his own billy club"

Lil' Yase & Yatta ft. G-Val, Lil' Blood, Nef The Pharaoh & Mozzy - Get It In remix
(From Soundcloud; 2015)

It's appropriate Mozzy should guest on this recent posse-cut remix of Lil' Yase & Yatta's Get It In since the original sounded like a Pablo Skywalkin collaboration with Mozzy. My rap plug in California reckons this 6 minute slice of pragmatically mainey Siccnesscore is set to be big in 2016 once the video arrives proper so get in on the action now before Marshawn Lynch dances to it in a locker room.

*EDIT* Upon further reflection, I much prefer the brevity of the original version since Nef is the only rapper who brings his A-game to the remix. How ironic that the Big Tymin' kid should spit harder shit than his new bezzie mate the Next Body On You guy.

Lil' Yase & Yatta - Get It In
(From YouTube; 2015)

Sunday 3 January 2016

Ghansta Rap

Kwamz & Flava - Take Over
(From Soundcloud; 2016)

Kwamz & Flava gotta be the only brehs out here bridging the gap between British pop-rap and Ghanaian Afrobeats. Kwamz & Flava also gotta be the only brehs out here making a semiBritishpoprapfrobeats song called Take Over ya host can throw in the mix as a prelude to YG & DJ Mustard's AIM Me in 2016. You bringin' them brehs 2 men, how them brehs Ghana win?

YG ft. DJ Mustard - AIM Me
(From the internet; 2009)

Saturday 2 January 2016

A Grand Puba deep cuts playlist 4 u

The year's Brand Nu' so here's a compilation of deep cuts by Grand Pu'.

The wheres and whens: I Ain't Goin' Out Like That and How Ya Livin' are Brand Nubian's O.G 1989 demo tracks; Fat Rat is Puba's debut solo track from the Strictly Business OST in 1991; the video mix of Check It Out, Mind Ya Business, and T-Ray's remix of Ya Know How It Goes are all non-album cuts from 1992; Time To Get It On and Can U Dig It are officially unreleased songs recorded in 1994 in the lead up to his sophomore album; Brand Nu Hustle and Somebody Told A Lie were both recorded for Brand Nubian's Foundation LP in 1998 but didn't surface until the early '00s; the 2002 Pete Rock remix of Issues is the only great song to emerge from his tenure with Koch Records; Let's Go is taken from the Top Shelf 8/8/88 compilation in 2007 but was designed to sound like a lost track from 1988; It Is What It Is and Good To Go with Q-Tip are the sole highlights of his 2009 Retroactive LP; The More Things Change was his surprisingly nice comeback track from 2015.