Tuesday 30 September 2014

O.G Maco is the poor man's Grip Plyaz

Poor Grip Plyaz - always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Had he released the video for the 2014 remix of Fuck That Hipster Shit during the H*pster-gate shitstorm on the rap internet this past summer he could have done Anthony Fantano numbers instead of the Chris Ott numbers he's bound to pull in now the clip has finally hit the internet lookin' like it was shot by Robby Müller circa 1986 as Grip rides around Atlanta shinin' in a horse drawn carriage.

Grip Plyaz - Fuck That Hipster Shit 2014 remix
(From the internet/ReTURNT To Sender EP; 2014)

Feared the worst when I saw the word remix plastered across the MP3 of this 6 months ago, but in this case the 2014 version just trims a couple of minutes of fat out of the near-5 minute original and embellishes it with a few extra whooshing sound-effects. It neither improves nor decreases the quality of the song, but it does leave us with a couple of precious spare minutes we could possibly use to remind ourselves of how good Stuntman Mike/Wasaname/Child Support/Ray Lewis were too. If only more rappers were that considerate.

Generic list post: september edition

The songs ya boy has been messin' with hard during the month when I could still get away with going out in just shorts and a polo shirt, but could barely find any new rap I liked when I was in the house like LL & Maia Campbell.

Flo Rida ft. Sage The Gemini - GDFR (2014)
Rich Gang - Freestyle (2014)
Rich Gang - Givenchy (2014)
Famous To Most - Whip (2014)
Twista ft. Ms. Kane - Game Recognize Game (1999)
Twista ft. Legit Ballaz & Johnny P - Ball Wit' Us (2001)
Ms. Kane - Getty Up (2001)
Dorrough Music ft. Lil' Boosie - Beat Up The Block (2014)
Heaven ft. Lil' Chris - Don't Shoot (2014)
DJ Quik ft. Suga Free & Dom Kennedy - Life Jacket (2014)
Sport E. Odie ft. King Carter, S Dub, Fresh Dot Dollaz & Revenue - We Winning (2014)
Philthy Rich ft. Ampichino & Young Bossi - Candle Light (2014)
Vince Staples - Hands Up (2014)

Previously: august, july, june, may, april, march, february, and january.

Sunday 28 September 2014

Reasons why I love Youtube # 61

Here's a video of the classic G-Unit line-up performing 50 Shot Ya for KPTV/Yahoo Music back in 2002. 50 obviously caught LL's holy ghost paying homage to I Shot Ya when he felt compelled to strip off in the studio, thus ensuring a perfect 10/10 score from the Lifestyle Synergy department of the Fashion Police:

Thursday 25 September 2014

Generic list post: 2014 rap songs that new Kendrick Lamar joint is better than

Moral of this post: 'tis better to admit enjoying a corny Kendrick Lamar song which casts vague allusions to Suga Free & Digable Planets than it is to have ever stanned for any of these chunks of shite that the world is all the more worse a place for for their existence.

1. Anything by Makkonen
2. Anything by Schoolboy Q
3. Drake - The Catch Up
4. Anything by Your Old Droog
5. O.G Maco - U Guessed It
6. Cam'Ron, Juelz & assorted leeches - Dipshits
7. El-P & Killer Mike Ft. Michael Winslow - Oh My Darling Don't Cry
8. Sicko Mobb - Lonely
9. RiFF RaFF - Time (LP version)
10. A$AP Mob - Hella Hoes
11. That Wiz song with J & Pat where he does the cod-rasta voice
12. Rowdy Rebel ft. Bobby Shmurda - Computers
13. That last AZ song which let me down when I really needed some new AZ
14. 98% of all 2014 NYC rap, tbh
15. A-Wax - Trap Dere

A special layer of Hell is obviously reserved for any new music Joe Budden, Ryan Hemsworth and any of the rapists from Das Racist dropped this year.

Tuesday 23 September 2014

I think I like it

Kendrick Lamar and I haven't spent much time together previously due to my aversion to his Zeldar from Beldar vocal stylings, but in the slowest month for good rap so far this year, him doing a Suga Free cover version of Happy in the style of Digable Planets over my favourite Isley Brothers jam sounds like something I can probably coexist with for a few weeks. What, Cadillacs ain't gon' roll no mo' 'cause I finally dig a Kendrick song?

Kendrick Lamar - I
(From the internet; 2014)

(EDIT: MP3 got removed so added the video.)

Don't get shit twisted, though, Year And A Day from B-Boy Bouillabaisse will forever be the best rap song which samples my favourite Isley Brothers jam, and I'd much rather listen to Bobby Brackins over Kendrick as far as current California rappers with Lisa Simpson voices go.

Saturday 20 September 2014

F**k Charlie Sloth

Sport E. Odie ft. King Carter, S Dub, Fresh Dot Dollaz & Revenue - We Winning
(From We Winning single; 2014)

File this under ‘currently poppin' regional songs completely unacknowledged on the rap internet which are mostly notable for their hook and because they sound marvelous with Westwood shoutin' "THIS IS MY THEME HERE, KID!!" and "ALL MY FRESHERS COME AND PARTY WITH YA BOY WESTWOOD IN LEEDS!!" over them.’

Wednesday 17 September 2014

Reasons why I love YouTube # 60

Thank u Drew Barber 4 comin' through and alerting me to the fact that Ball With Us from the 2nd Legit Ballin' compilation has an amazing video. This shit is like Chicago's version of the Flava In Ya Ear remix video in terms of the sheer amount of local legends who make cameos. And then there's the matter of Twista's hairdo and proto-"dat ass!" face at 0:03:

"Befo' we sweat let's take some pictures to add to the portfoli'
Moey, droey, that shit I smoke with my homies
Takin' penitentiary poses thirty ballas strong
Only takin' pictures with bitches that gon' show us the thong"

Legit Ballaz & Johnny P - Ball Wit' Us
(From Legit Ballin: New Testament 2k Street Scriptures - Volume 2 compilation; 2001)

Fuck your "rap squats", it's the penitentiary pose. Always has been, always will be.

Tuesday 16 September 2014

American whip

What I dig about future viral smash #Whip by Famous To Most is that it simultaneously manages to hark back to records like Whistle's (Nothin' Serious) Just Buggin' and forecast a future sub-genre of rap which sounds akin to a car crash of Travis Porter & Dorrough's Old School Nikes:

Famous To Most - #Whip
(From #Whip single; 2014)

Monday 15 September 2014

I'm in dere like booty hair and that's my duty there

"Where you get that game from, huh bruh?
You comin weak and can't be pimpin her on the daily and leavin the dubs
'Cause baby knows you're a scrub
You gotta be more like all the pimps in the industry
Much love to 8Ball & MJG
Too $hort and Ice-T
Pimp C, Bun B, and Suga Free
Playas like us is what you couldn't be"

Twista ft. Ms. Kane - Game Recognize Game
(From the Legit Ballin' Volume 1 compilation; 1999)

File this under ‘Man, Twista really had the illest non-album deep cuts on those Legit Ballin'/Legit Ballaz compilations he put out’ and ‘Ms Kane's reverse flip of N.W.A's I Ain't Tha 1 from Legit Ballin' Volume 3 isn't half bad either.’

Saturday 13 September 2014

Martorial elegance: "they never seen 'em in real life, I live a real life" edition

Just spotted these shoes on the Union blog's photo shoot for that recent Junya Wanatabe X Levi's collection and I want them now and shit, like nowwwwwwwww. Alas, the Union post didn't list what they are, I can't see 'em anywhere on the Union webstore, and none of my IRL & internet friends who follow #menswear can identify them either.

Rap internet, you're my last hope here. Tell me what these shits are so we can resume normal service and get back to discussing Sage The Gemini punchlines or the time Tarrie B appeared on an episode of Jukebox Jury after Booty Collins, Pat Collins, the bird who played Kerry Bishop in Neighbours, and the bloke from New Order had voted Murder She Wrote a hit:

This clip would be total Martorialist catnip if it weren't for the fact that New Order were pretty rubbish other than their handful of obvious singles, and Pat Cash played a sport that's primarily enjoyed by alleged paedophile pop singers and Elliot Rogers lookalikes who think all London's working class tube workers are scum.

Friday 12 September 2014

Jay-Z lost

"I know that broad gon' want pop me bad when I drop the Jag'
And try and turn my sons against me like a hockey dad"

Consequence ft. KanYe West - Take It As A Loss
(From Take 'Em To The Cleaners CD; 2004)

Quick reminder that a playlist of all the tracks KanYe & Consequence recorded together between 2003 - 2005 would result in a collection that's at least a trillion times better than Watch The Throne.

Wednesday 10 September 2014

Ayo Danny Brown

Just because you can make songs with rappers whose music you enjoy such as TREE, ZMoney and BeatKing it does not necessarily mean that you should. If you really must insist on making a song with every underground regional rapper you've discovered via reading mixtape reviews on Pitchfork then can you please spare a moment's thought on how your style would compliment theirs and not just rush into the booth and squawk all over other people's otherwise perfectly good songs in that voice you've been using on every single fucking cameo verse you've recorded since XXX?

You are out here combining the least savoury practices of A$AP Ferg, El-P, Drake, and RiFF RaFF right now, and it's an even worse look for you than that time you were forced to pretend to enjoy Kitty Pryde's music after your manager procured her contract from one of those Wavery nonces.

Tuesday 9 September 2014

Where is teh love for Limp Bizkit's true auteur?

"I'm the realest, that's first things first
My biscuits ain't limp, but shout out Fred Durst"

P-Lo ft. Sage The Gemini - Show You
(From The L.A Leakers' #LeaksOfTheIndustry14 mixtape; 2014)

Wes Borland be like THIS right now:

Bay Area-related tip: A-Wax finally dropped that Money Back song from his Instagram which ANU & I thought was gonna be on Pullin' Strings. Think I prefer the Instagram snippet over the full song, tbh.

Monday 8 September 2014

The whole Byrdgang's in here like Shannon Hoon was here!

Well, not quite the whole Byrdgang, but there's a 50%/10% ratio of Purple City Byrdgang and M.O.B Byrdgang in this here posse picture from 2005:

J.R Writer and Ike Eyes are also present, but I dunno if the other blokes are big-time NY drug dealers who were a crucial part of the rap landscape at the time like Killer Ben, Rap Supreme, Kelvin "50 Cent" Martin et al in the Paid In Full posse picture, or just a bunch of weed-carrier's weed-carriers? Whoever the other goons may be, this JPG is more important to the overall history of New York rap than 97% of the music to emerge from NYC thus far in 2014.

And so here's a generic list of 10 A-Mafia songs that are 2000 light years better than Bobby Shmurda's Hot N*gga but which weren't afforded the same level of attention/support because A-Mafia can buy beer legally and NYC is a city run by Ken Kaniff & Cyril Smith type creeps. As FEAR nearly once opined and Das Racist recently proved, New York's alright if you like sex offenders:

Jim Jones & A-Mafia - The 'Jects remix (2003)
A-Mafia - Hell For A Hustla (2003)
A-Mafia - Everywhere (2004)
A-Mafia & 40 Cal - 40th Boys (2005)
A-Mafia - 1000 Grams (2010)
A-Mafia - Love Train (2011)
A-Mafia ft. 2 Chainz - Real Live Pro remix (2011)
A-Mafia - Wayne Perry (2011)
A-Mafia - Realest N*gga In My City (2012)
A-Mafia - Story Of My Life (2012)

Saturday 6 September 2014

Heaven knows I'm Ms. Melodie now

Really didn't think Lil' Chris could top Keep Your Head Up for its combination of the positive and the polyphonic, and then he goes and releases a 2014 analogue to Self Destruction with a 9 year old girl who I'm gonna assume is either his daughter/cousin/niece or a random pre-pubescent plucked from the west side of Chicago who Chris' manager is passing off as the inverse-Lil' Mouse?

Heaven ft. Lil' Chris - Don't Shoot
(From YouTube; 2014)

Chicago experts and/or ex-pats: is this the first foreal foreal Kidz Bop Bop song, and why is it catchier than all of Lil' Chris' own Bop songs?

Friday 5 September 2014

Shinola songs by shit rappers part whatever

The only way Flo Rida could ever make a song I'd ever want to listen to is by nicking a horn sample that sounds like it's from a 45 King-produced Lakim Shabazz song a la Ariana Grande's Problem and then letting Sage The Gemini do the hook and most of the rapping. He did just that and we've all been sleeping on it for the past couple of weeks:

Flo Rida ft. Sage The Gemini - GDFR
(From GDFR single; 2014)

DEV's Kiss It, Adrian Marcel's 2 AM, Show Banga's I Been That, and this... Sage The Gemini is pretty much 2014's cameo king M.V.P.

Wanted dead or alive: Dorrough edition

Dorrough Music ft. Lil' Boosie - Beat Up The Block
(From the internet; 2014)

Man, I swear Dorrough is trollin' me here since his latest cut Beat Up The Block has a title that's somewhat reminiscent of the song of his I've been lookin' for a good quality MP3 of for about 3 years now to no avail:

"I'm a grizzly boy straight out the zoo
Shockin' hoes like Pikachu
Surprisin' n*ggas like peek-a-boo with the okie-doke or the switcheroo"

Dorrough Music - Swangin' Beatin' Down Blvd
(From Dallas mixtapes; 2006 or 2007/The Vault mixtape; 2011)

A Texan cousin of DJ Unk's Comin' Down Da Street, Swangin' Beatin' Down Blvd was one of Dorrough's early tracks which was big in Dallas around 2006/2007 but then ended being up cut from his debut album for some silly reason, and it's now been wiped from the internet at the behest of Bob Perry even though it's never officially been available for sale digitally. Best shit Dorrough's ever made and ever likely to make, and I'd probably donate one of my pinky toes to get a good quality MP3 of it.

If one of eOne Entertainment's unpaid interns sees this post when they're Googling for illegal links of their material then tell your bosses to put that CDQ MP3 of Swangin' Beatin' Down Blvd up for sale on Amazon.

Wednesday 3 September 2014

An Akinyele deep cuts compilation 4 u

It's 2014 and even your grandparents can recite Put It In Your Mouth from front-to-back on cue during Christmas lunch, and Vagina Diner is now rightfully lauded as an early '90's N.Y classic in certain quarters of the rap media. But how familiar are you with the rest of Akinyele's catalogue? If you still don't know the difference between your Aktapuss and your Anakonda then here's a zipfile of 15 Akinyele deep cuts from his lesser-known releases.

This thing is in chronological order so you can witness Akinyele's blossom from the ruffneck street-rap of In The World and The Robbery Song to the post-Jiggy Rap & Bullshit of Three and Do You Wanna? Moreover, you can also witness Ak's metaphysical progression from Break A Bitch Neck in 1995 to Love My Bitch in 2001, where dude went from "beatin' bitches up ain't nothin' new to me, whether you're down with social security or you're just hittin' puberty" to "I spit flows for ya, kick down door's for ya, even suck all ya toes for ya" on some Rap Game High-Heel Throat Fuck Scene From Tenebre type shit:

(GIF via Party Sparty)

And that's not even the best Biggie interpolation here since you can find his Juicy homage Coochie ("it was all a dream, I used to read Playboy magazine/n*ggas gettin' their dicks licked with whipped cream..") at track number 9. Also of great note on the rap history tip is Sister Sister, the only true heir to Biz's Just A Friend as far as rap songs about being marooned in the friend-zone go:

Akinyele - Deep Cuts compilation

1. Break A Bitch Neck O.G version (with Kool G. Rap)
2. In The World O.G version
3. The Robbery Song
4. Enter
5. Murder
6. Juan Valdez O.G version
7. Get Up
8. Sister Sister
9. Coochie
10. Three
11. Messin' With My Cru
12. Gangsters
13. Do You Wanna? (with Uneek)
14. Problems
15. Love My Bitch (with Simone)


If I'd ruled the world in 1997 then The Firm's line-up would have consisted of Nas, AZ, Foxy Brown & Akinyele, and their album would have comprised of a 50/50 ratio of Phone Tap-type tracks where AZ & Nas went back-and-forth with each other and filthy sex tracks where Foxy & Akinyele went back-and-forth at each other like Ak' & Uneek later did on Do You Wanna? in 2001.

Tuesday 2 September 2014


Just some new nasty Baton Rouge bottom-runger rap to spoil your tuesday via the label of that geezer who talked shit about Kevin Gates on Young Ready's last 'tape. Lil' One Tha Champ dropped a song with Mouse a few weeks back that was rubbish, but this new track is a nice little slice of tawdry Young Ready-core, which appears to be a legitimate sub-genre of Baton Rouge-rap in 2014:

"Dress code colder than Pluto, swaggin' like I'm Obama
You n*ggas is super-lame, I put that on yo' mamma"

Lil' One The Champ ft. Scotty Cain - U Kno
(Spotted at DGB; 2014)

Lil' One The Champ out chea keepin' Louisiana's penchant for Obama jeans alive in 2014.