Birds Fly South

Cookiee Kawaii - Fly Away
(From Fly Away single; 2022)


Cookiee Kawaii - Is U Mad!?
(From Is U Mad!? single; 2022)


More proof that good things come in twos like boobs: Cookiee Kawaii has dropped two singles so far this month... and they bump! Fly Away is the post-lockdown sequel to Vacation on the JeR&Bsey Club tip; and Is U Mad!? is Hip-House with a 70% Hip-Hop/30% House ratio. Both songs are exactly what I want from a visit to the Jersey Club shore.

People tell me I should listen to Bandmanrill and other rappers who use Jersey Club beats, but I use Jersey Club artists like Cookiee Kawaii and UNiiQU3 as a partial detox from Rap music. Thus, the absolute last thing I wanna hear over Jersey Club production is another G-Herbo soundalike lad.

Act A Donkey

Cookiee Kawaii ft. Justin Love - Donkey
(From the internet; 2021)


Why wasn't this the intro on Cookiee Kawaii's album? Very good scene-setter for her JeR&Bsey Club sound. Also, it's the real sequel to Vibe (If I Back It Up), f*ck the official Tyga remix!

Xanax Fantasia - where you at?

Cookiee Kawaii - Hey DJ
(From Vanice album; 2021)


Cookiee Kawaii - WERK!
(From Vanice album; 2021)


You peepin' this Cookiee Kawaii official debut album™ too? Relieved there's no Tyga guest verses. Tryna see if there's owt on there as good as Relax Your Mind; currently stuck on this pair of songs as two different sides of the JeR&Bsey Club coin. Waiting for some shitbird from Pitchfork or The Guardian to write a stinkpiece calling Jersey Club the new Pop-Punk.

PS: me, I'm still pissed that Vacation didn't go on to be the Corona era equivalent of Madonna's Holiday.

Supa Sunday In N.J

Cookiee Kawaii - Relax Your Mind
(From Relax Your Mind single; 2021)


Back up on the Jersey Club shore again today. Here at The Martorialist we don't listen to no Hip-Hop on Sunday mornings, we listen to rebranded New JeR&Bsey Hip-House. Word around the cosmos, God sayz go upwards of 125 BPM or go home.

Ol' girl Kawaii clearly understands the B&B rule: if your single's video must have an intro then fill said intro with Birds & Bums. Take note rappers!

This is reality Jersey Club - I really go through it

Cookiee Kawaii - Vacation
(From Club Soda Vol 2 album; 2020)


File this under '2020 choonz which hit even harder during England's cold, grey, damp national lockdown of 2021.'

Not only is this the ultimate Winter of our Discontent™, this is the ultimate winter of my disconnection. Thus, I find meself washing up on the Jersey Club shore again searchin' for jams. Cookiee Kawaii's Vacation is my favourite J.C find to date: a JeR&Bsey ode to the soul-cleansing reset of a good holiday that's more song than track but still retains the brevity, booty-chatter™ and BPM of the other Jersey Club bangers which have tickled my pleasure centre. If Ryanair don't use this song to soundtrack one of their annoying "Get yer Covid vaccination jab and maybe you plebs can go on holiday!" adverts then the company's entire marketing department should be sacked, imho.

Cookiee Kawaii's Vibe (If I Back It Up) seems to have been the biggest Jersey Club song of 2020 and was bestowed with the musical mark of Cain that is a Tyga remix. If Vacation ever follows a similar trajectory then let's hope someone more suitable gets to hop on the remix - someone like Flo Milli.