Wednesday 11 October 2023


Today's topic: Rap rumours from the pre-internet dayz of wayback with some urban myths which Chinese whispered their way across the Atlantic ocean to suburban England. It later transpired they were all fabrication not 1 fact, but a lot of them seemed plausible at the time. Truth be told, a handful of these duck tales may have been invented by my teenage m8 Butty Bate - a serial liabetic Billy Bullshitter who went on to do a stretch in prison for insurance fraud.

* LL Cool J lost his hair when he was a kid due to a perm which went disasterously wrong.

* Slick Rick lost his eye due to a nasty infection which was caused by a pigeon shitting on him.

* Dana Dane was Slick Rick's twin brother.

* Ice-T & Darlene released a p0rn movie sometime in the late 1980s.

* Shock G and Humpty Hump were 2 different rappers.

* MC Hammer's touted dance battle with Michael Jackson actually happened behind closed doors and Hammer won.

* 2Pac was the dancing black lad in the video for Jane's Addiction's Been Caught Stealing.

* Cypress Hill's B-Real was related to Mike Muir from Suicidal Tendencies and both groups were all members of the same L.A gang.

* The lass who gets drenched in booze in the Nuthin' But A "G" Thang video was Julie Carmen.

* Eazy-E caught HIV off Tairrie B/Eazy-E was injected with HIV by one of Suge Knight's goons.

* KMD were in an episode of Parker Lewis Can't Lose.

* Zev Luv X ended up in Bellevue mental hospital after Subroc died and KMD were dropped by Elektra Records.

* Pete Rock & CL Smooth split up because CL had set up a carwash franchise which was far more financially rewarding.

* Freddie Foxxx sodomised one of Benzino's crew with a baseball bat.

* Before Wu-Tang blew up, ODB was a legit homeless bum who lived in an abandoned subway tunnel under Staten Island.

* Kool Keith was gonna make a p0rn movie companion to his Sex Style album starring himself and the p0rn0 actress on the album's front cover.

* Lil' Kim offered her fans blowjobs for money at a concert and swallowed so much jizz she had to go to hospital to get her stomach pumped.

* 2Pac faked his own death, hid out for months, and then killed Biggie on March 9th 1997.

* James Murdoch released a Rap 12" single on Rawkus Records.

* 50 Cent got shot up by some Staten Island goons in retaliation for dissing Wu-Tang on How To Rob.


Anonymous said...

Suga Knight had goons beat up and sodomize Devante from Jodeci

Anonymous said...

DJ Quik killed a guy at a party and that was the motivation for “You’s A Gangsta”

Jmil843 said...

Kanye actually got beat up so bad they broke his jaw. There was never a car accident

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Wtf @ that Devante one 😬😂

Spartan said...

Eric Sermon jumping out the window to avoid getting caught in a compromising position with another bloke.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

THEE classic.

Yohan said...

Pudgee was THE gay rapper in the NY scene.

Ma$e got caught down in Atlanta in a compromising situation in a car.

Marilyn Manson got a rib removed so he could blow himself.

Don't know what exactly is or isn't true but rap's ongoing fascination with hunting down possibly non-straight rappers forever remains one of the true four elements.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Every day when I open YouTube it seems like there's a new video of that Gene Deal bum insisting Puffy is a literal puff.

Hooligan said...

Troop was secretly owned by the Klu Klux Klan.

Your Old Droog was Nas disguising his voice.

Kool G Rap getting run out of New York by NY Goons/The Mafia.

The meeting that took place in the late 80's where heads of record companies, media and movers and shakers in the prison industrial complex got together to push and promote 'gangsta rap'.

After getting his Jordan's scuffed in the 'Do The Right Thing' Buggin' Out went and became the biggest meth dealer in the US using a string of Chicken Shops as cover.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

💀 @ that last one.

Anonymous said...

My neighbour's cousin's dog walker's postman can confirm the Lil Kim story. There was quite the delay in her receiving medical treatment because she had to wait in the stomach pump queue behind Marc Almond, George Michael, Elton John, Alanis Morrissett, David bowie, Jon Bonjovi and your mum.

The attending medics were exhausted; having spent the preceding shift removing ribs So that Stevie Nicks, Prince, Marilyn Manson and Roy Hattersley could pleasure themselves.

As for rap urban myths?:
Roxanne Shante having a phd in clinical psychology.
2Pac losing his balls in that 1994 shooting.
Erick sermon or LL Cool J DEFINITELY being "THE gay rapper.."
Missy Elliott being born a man.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Just remembered there was supposed to have been a Foxy Brown sextape too.

Yohan said...

It took me until last year to definitively find out Lady Gaga wasn't born a man.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

When I first saw the Paradise City video on British telly, I was convinced Axl Rose was a lass.

Fred said...

Butty Bate sounds legit, hope he’s doing well today.

The Ice T/Mike Muir and ODB ones made their way to France since I remember hearing about these as a teenager.

There was a story/rumour about Method Man getting his shoes stolen while crowd surfing at a show in Paris, and then stopping the show to berate the crowd and get them back, and another one about Guru smoking crack on stage during the last GangStarr euro tour. Don’t know if those counts? I know there was more, need to brush up.

And then one I’ve heard later but different variation about E-40 getting back at Biggie because the Brooklynite had slighted him in an interview, one version had him sending goons to NY to corner Big in an alleyway and making pee himself, and another one where a local Bay Area gang also held Big & Junior Mafia at gunpoint after a show in Oakland or SF and made them present excuses. Convoluted shit but you know, “print the legend” I guess? 😅

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

The latter is true re: E-40 and Biggie.

I also hope Butty Bate is doing okay. He deleted his Facebook so I dunno where he's at nowadays.

Anonymous said...

That Ma$e one is true lol

Yohan said...

^ Never read anything more than vague accusations online and the radio broad screaming IT'S MASE RIGHT in Pimp C's Atlanta rant.

Andrew Barber said...

this one had my school on fire:

The Luniz shot Master P 31 times because he stole the Ice Cream Man persona from them.

Word to Baskin-Robbins.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Gotta love the ott specificness of 31 times.

Ben said...

These all read like a thread on Boxden 💀

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

The highest compliment 😄

xanaxfantasia said...

for posterity i'm adding:

- SWAG standing for "Secretly We're All Gay" (i see you tyler the creator lol)
- gucci mane and waka flocka flame falling out over them both being in love with selena gomez, who gucc obv met on the set of 10/10 film "spring breakers"
- travis scott having fucked over/stolen music from a series of collaborators and managers until he "hit the big time" (kind of the kanye playbook/ a tale as old as time but given the whole "pick up the phone" situation, pretty flagrant)
- drak's fake abs

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

😁 @ Drake's fake abs.

I remember some early 2000s message board guy swearing that Big L was killed by an angry gay guy over his "anti homo, that's a no-no" lyric. The hole in that particular theory was the song those lyrics were from wasn't released until after L's murder 🤦‍♂️

D said...

I really miss the way urban legends used to work, there was a real on the nose innocence to em

Grandmaster flash was a nonce
Big Daddy Kane caught aids from madonna
Lil Flip has aids(you def brought this one to my attention)
Afrika baby bam was groomed by the other bam
Troop (the label not the group thsi time) was owned by the kkk, LL had to stop wearing em after this lol

The Gay Rappers had a lot of incarnations but none as undeniable as will smith imho

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

I forgot about the BDK/Madonna one. That was an absolute pre-internet classic.