Thursday, 9 June 2011

Why couldn't Raoul Moat have killed Dan Le Sac & Scroobius Pip too?

If they weren't quite contemptible enough as it is plumbing new depths in the already acrid genre of white British ppl rapping, Dan Le Sac & Scroobius Pip are now moonlighting from their dayjob to knock out zany recreations of the Scott Woods titty bar scene in Vincent Gallo's Buffalo 66 on Youtube and thus forever soiling the best American movie debut of the 90s with their mark of Cain. They even manage to ruin a piece of music as sublime as the intro to Yes' Heart Of The Sunrise by editing out the 15 second section where the washes of synth begin to build up to make way for the guitar to snake its way into the song because the part of the scene it soundtracks is the bit where the 3 strippers each shake their titties like salt shakers as the club's stagelights cast them in respective shades of red, white and blue before they all dance in unison with the 3 colours bathing them in light simultaneously, and a couple of bitchmade saps like Le Sac & Pip wouldn't ever want to objectify women like that :



(Or, y'know, maybe they were still too busy replying to internet reviews which point out that they're sinister racists who make Sage Francis look like Brother J from X Clan to think of anything suitable wacky to replace that bit with?)

Since the big homie Raoul isn't going to be popping anyone but Mary Magdalene anytime soon, I'm currently in the process of hiring a couple of local junkies who'll body a dude for the price of a Greggs sausage roll to kidnap these 2 turds and their pal who plays the Scott Woods character in the video and either offer them as a sacrifice to that volcano in Chile which is currently lookin' mad Biblical or just sell them as human guinea pigs to the Japanese scientists currently working on a cure for the mutant strand of E. Coli outbreak in das fatherland.

If you're as offended by that video as I am, here's some aloe vera in the form of the Martorialist X Step One Buffalo 66 edit remix of Heart Of The Sunrise which draws to a close before the song switches tempo and the guy from Yes who sounds like a sunday morning fishing correspondent on local radio starts singing, plus Vince Gallo interviewing himself in issue 4 of Grand Royal magazine and zinging Abel Ferrara, Chloë Sevigny, Harmony Korine, Tim Roth, John Kennedy Jr., the Clinton Family, Michael Holman, DJ Spooky, Kate Moss, Jefferson Hack, movie caterers, make-up artists, costume designers et cetera in the process :

Yes - Heart Of The Sunrise (Buffalo 66 edit)



Tomorrow marks the first anniversary of Moaty getting his wig split, apparently; I wonder if heaven got a storm drain for thug whiggaz?

3 comments:

done said...

Currently sussing how to put the hyperlinks in my full back tatoo of this post.

Thanks for introducing me to the DIS comment section aswell. Too many quotables.

videotime said...

Gawd, I fucking despise these guys. Oozing with Clerkenwell cool circa 2003.

The Great Gats, B said...

Hitler had more positives than Dan Le Sac & Scroobius Pip. Or, at the very least, his ideology wasn't quite as sinister.

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