Saturday 12 November 2011

The magic number : random rap irritations

That's random irritations which happen to be Rap related, rather than irritations caused by crappy Random-Rap 12" singles released in 1988 and 1989 by interchangeable LL Cool J clones that Belgian dudes called Jens Roc Ski will pay silly money for on eBay :

1. Went to see Ghostface thursday night and that's twice I've caught him live in the past couple of years now where he hasn't performed Daytona 500 during the medley section of his set. It wouldn't have been churlish to ask for a partial refund because a Daytona 500 no-show in a Ghost' live performance is like Coco's career without Ice, Riff Raff without the rice, Rev' Run's Twitter without platitudes about Christ, Arsene Wenger's transfer success without Mike, DMX without a pipe, Odd Future without a dyke, or a day on WSHH without a video of a McDonalds fight.

2. Man, all y'all Drake h8orz who've downloaded whatever his latest album is called and then spent the past few days listening to it in-depth and critiquing it song-by-song online might be even more deplorable than actual Drake fans. At least his defenders have the excuse of being female/gay/named Jacques/too stupid to own The Dream's albums, you other dudes who find Drake's music revolting have wasted precious time which could've otherwise been spent listening to Bigga Make Me Cum by Max B on repeat and reading BeholdTheDestroyer or PlayingRickyMorton just so you can indulge in impassioned message board/Twitter spats. This can't be life, fellas.

3. What's the deal with MP3s from Bandcamp being unsuitable for certain MP3 players? I'll take an occasional ‘file format not supported’ loss on MP3s from Livemixtapes since they're free, but when I'm shelling out moolah for $tarlito and Mic Terror releases from Bandcamp I expect to be able to jam them when ridin' through the city at night shouting "wanker!" at anybody wearing drop-crotch chinos (is this just a U.K thing or are Hammerpants big with the yout' in America and Canada too?), not just when I'm sitting at home on the sofa scratching my balls on a surprisingly sunny november saturday morning.

$tarlito - Rather Be With You
(From #UW : Separation Anxiety; 2011)


done said...

Up there with KRS breakdancing on the twin towers, marvelous.

I seen Ghost live and while I was kinda mad he did nathan off of Ironman he did a bunch of Cuban Linx... tunes which totally made up for it imo, plus the OG Ghost Deini, Biscuits and Milk Em! - which is fucking godly live. Much better than the shitty rip of Put It On The Line I have anyways. No soundcheck obv.

Hugo Alexandre said...

word! i never even heard of starlito but i am digging it! FAT BEATS and rhymes like he's shitting on the toilet. make em say uuuuuuuuuugggghhhh

Boothe said...

#2 is some kinda truth for the internet youth.

step one said...

Havent been to a GFK solo show but Im suprised he doesnt do Daytona. Then again Redman rarely does anything off Dare Iz A Darkside apparently, and when I saw Cube he did alot more Westside Connection stuff than i expected. Maybe they should survey the people buying tickets and ask what they wanna hear when they order.

VillaƱo HIV said...

Thanks for the shoutout brer, the guest writer spot is always open.

Thomas said...

a.) totally agree about everyone analyzing Drake's album, if you don't like it why bother?
b.) people wear MC Hammer pants in the U.K.?!?!? This sounds amazing, if you could pick me up at the airport in about 12 hours and show me this in person that would be swell.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

I guess they might be more A.C Slater than M.C Hammer, but dem streetz are awash with drop-crotch elasticated hem chinos here.