Thursday, 11 August 2011

A blogger tryna play me, I'ma blow him off the map

(From Urban Legend; 2005)

(No Mister Cee)

ASAP Rocky's Get High was a pretty good beat/hook combination ruined by a Mickey Factz lookalike's irritatingly pisspoor Lil B impersonation which then redeemed itself via a video where a chick's arsecheeks poked out of the bottom of her M-65 jacket as she ascended a flight of steps during its opening seconds, whilst Purple Swag was a theoretically decent idea for a song with practically no replay value which then justified its continued existence with a video that featured a wildly porkable blond chick in 'fronts, the first rap-blogger cameo since Noz got all up in that footage of G-Side visiting S.T's cousin in D.C and another sartorial Loch Ness Monster has been spotted on dry land moment with the discovery of just who had been buying them Jeremy Scott Adidas high-tops with the wings other than Jedward and Lil' Wayne.

So rap blogosphere, I think we've reached that comfortable stage in our relationship where we can fess up to our mistakes so I'll concede that I once wrote an impassioned defence of Mickey Factz (actually I stand by that since his 2008 stuff from the The Leak mixtapes was near-impeccable) if all 'yall admit that you only posted those 2 ASAP Rocky videos with such vigorous enthusiasm to impress Stevie RNT since we all know Peso is Rocky's one good song which manages to tick all the relevant boxes to qualify as a bona fide N.Y jam, so now it's been afforded a video (sadly lacking any arses or blonds) we're all winners like the contestants at the Paralympic games. I'm going to lazily dub this shit the 2011 Don't Scandalize Mine since the shimmering beat reminds me of the still jawdroppingly empyrean Once In A Lifetime sample before getting back to checking DGB to see if that godamn Zed Zilla mixtape with I'm Da Boss on it has dropped already :

ASAP Rocky - Peso
(From LiveLoveASAP; 2011)


Thomas said...

Is Noz the old guy in denim shorts and pierced ears or the guy at the end of the video with the greasy hair? Either way lol.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Neither - he's the soccer dad in the sunglasses with the toddler on his shoulders when G-Side are posing in front of the white house at 2:57.

done said...

Not his first though:

Such a shame he abandoned blogging for managing Rocky full-time, Hes a top 3 dude imo.

done said...

And If the blonde chick doesnt get the cosignature you probly roll pro-homo.

Thomas said...

Haha on a serious note I don't think full time rap journalist have a good chance of reproducing.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Can't believe I didn't shoehorn some sort of attempt at a joke about Haptronic from Superfuture being Rocky's stylist into this post now.