Enola Bay

"Headfirst in the streets so you know there ain't no stoppin'
Gettin' money like a printer, lame n*ggas wanna copy"

OMB Peezy - Loyalty Over Love (Intro)
(From YouTube; 2017)


Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Bay via Sick Wid It's first Alabama transplant signee. This is the first OMB Peezy song which sounds like it could feature Alabama's Duke of Datazz, and it'll work very nicely as the intro to whatever Peezy's Sick Wid It debut turns out to be. Ideally it'll be an EP in the vein of Nef The Pharaoh's own Sick Wid It debut because Rap needs less mixtapes and more Mailmans.

On the Keith Welch YouTube channel tip, Peezy needs to procure FBG's Blood Brothers for himself because that song's beat + chorus are wasted on such a forgettable group. Everybody eats, B, but some rappers are only worthy of a trip to the Harvester buffet innit?

Reasons why I love YouTube # 75

Either Tinashe is a big Stone Cold Steve Austin fan or her much-delayed sophomore album is finally dropping this coming thursday. It's a real Gift & Curse humdinger for ya host, because along with the possibility of new Legit Jams™ comes the tragic realisation that she'll probably never shoot a video for Touch Pass where she reprises the gymnastics from 0:27 to 0:31 of this live clip:



Here comes another shameless plug for my best non-rap songs of 2016 Audiomack playlist which featured Touch Pass.

See these ice cubes? See these Ice Cream Mans?

Iconic moment from Dru Down's Pimp Of The Year video. Don't even front like all of Dru's 4 get-ups in that promo aren't legitimate 5/5 rap video outfits.

Kenickie Kaniff

Ayo & Teo - Lit Right Now
(From teh internet; 2017)


On one hand, I feel like that nonce from Eminem's albums postin' a track by them kids who made the Rolex song. On the other hand, this is the catchiest shit since Caroline or Cash Machine, and it sounds like a Speaker Knockerz remake of Summer Nights from Grease. Tell me more, tell me more - it's like Swag-Rap will never die. Tell me more, tell me more - I didn't go to Rydell High, I went to Rydell high.

Late '00s 'til Infinity

DJ Jazzy Jeff ft. Peedi Crakk - Brand New Funk 2k7
(From DJ Jazzy Jeff's Return Of The Magnificent album; 2007)


Peedi Crakk's remake of Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince's Brand New Funk was the best solo song he ever made and you can't tell me nuffink to the contrary.

Down for a wave of obscure late '00s rap nostalgia right now. I wanna see XXL articles on the making of DB Tha General's Welcome To The Navy album, blog posts debating whether Big Tuck's Pussy And Patron #actually bangs harder than Not A Stain On Me, Complex listicles about the best rap songs to debut on Imeem (Mic Terror's Get Off FTW), and someone other than me celebrating Maino bangers and Juney Boomdata deep cuts which shoulda been singles.

Breaking news: WNC officially #TeamKevinGates

"And I'll still f*ck even if we was cousins"

WNC Whop Bezzy & 70th Street Carlos - Retarded N Dumb
(From t'internet; 2017)


Quite into the idea that WNC's songs with Trel Itz A Hit on the track are Louisiana's modern equivalent of Just-Ice's first LP with Mantronix on the beat in 1986: the tone is retro-futurism, the production is stark and savage, retardation & dumbness are lifestyle choices rather than birth defects, and the artwork looks like it's straight outta Skeme's blackbook in Style Wars. Even their respective goldfronts look like some cheap rhodium grillz off eBay that'll cause Gingivitis within 3 hours.

Don't believe me then peep my playlist of 70th Street Carlos songs produced by Trel Itz A Hit, essentially the closest 2016 rap came to Just-Ice's Back To The Old School album. True story like OMB Peezy.

Martorial elegance: O.G Bobby Robson edition

He ducks from Ralo, but he trusts in Rafa... it's Rich Homie Quan:

A lesson to be learned for all Atlanta rappers who stop makin' good songs and get their career stolen by (former enemy) YFN Lucci - f*ck around and end up wearin' a Newcastle United replica shirt in a British R&B sanger's video. Quan might be persona non grata in NYC for forgetting Biggie verses, but he's every Geordie's favourite ATLien doon Bigg Market on a saturday night, like.

Make the trap say "Wye Aye, pet!" Shit's hard out here for a Geordie today because it's exactly 15 years to the night since Bergkamp scored that goal against Newcastle.

Your arms too short to Talkbox with Zapp & Rog'

Coulda swore I've previously posted about Glory's Let's Get Nice, but blogspot's search function tells me it was all a dream, I used to read HHC magazine. Before Arthur Baker and Maurice Starr & Michael Jonzun signed to Tommy Boy Records and became Electro pioneers, the 3 of them were in a little-known Disco group by the name of Glory who recorded one of the G.O.A.T vocoder-funk tunes. This is the music that the alien mothership in Close Encounters Of The Third Kind shoulda used to communicate with Earth:

Glory - Let's Get Nice (7" mix)
(From Let's Get Nice 7" single; 1981)


This shortened 7" mix of Let's Gets Nice pops in places that the regular 12" mix merely bubbles. Thus, it should be recognised & realised as the definitive version. One truncation under a groove, gettin' edited down just for the funk of it.