Brief thoughts on King Louie's Jeep Music mixtape

Could it be that Louie's Yeezus cameo paid for a cash settlement with Disney since he's going by the King Louie moniker again? Your boy Martaveli doesn't really give a shit either way, b, because this weak arse new Jeep Music 'tape of his wouldn't have even bumped in the red pedal car I had when I was 2 and a half years old pretending to be Baloo from The Jungle Book in my nan's back garden let alone in a jeep ridin' through the concrete jungle of Chiraq where gorillas, tigers, vultures and snakes creep with that heat.

GTFOH with this throwaway bland bullshit, Louie, and leak the rest of those 2011 Dope And Shrimp cuts already or just make some kosher 2013 jeep music like that Blood Money song you recently guested on with the dissonant ruptures of sub-bass which were probably supposed to sound like Dubstep but are actually more similar to the noises Predator's helmet (pause!) made when it was honing in on human prey. R.I.P, Louie and the dude named after the Capone-n-Noreaga classic just killed the wub-wub :

Blood Money ft. King Louie - Bitch I'm Crazy
(From Drug Wars mixtape; 2013)


Do you think Louie's recent penchant for calling himself "Loulou" is a reference to Lulu the Dominican coke dealer from Paid In Full? No Kevin Keegan, but I would love it - LOVE IT! - if Rappers were to start looking to the best quasi-Rapsloitation movie of the noughties for artistic impetus on some "Paid In Full the movie did more than Paid In Full the song for me" type shit.

Reasons why I love YouTube # 44

Uploaded with the caption "I WAS A FAT BOY LOL" by none other than A-Mafia, it's a three-song medley promo video for DukeDaGod's More Than Music Vol. 2 compilation CD. Cam and Jim mustn't have fancied making Rap hands in pissy elevators as Duke pointed a 1998 Sony camcorder in their faces that day because the clip doesn't feature either of the album's best songs, but Juelz puts in an appearance and it climaxes with a video for Hell Rell & A-Mafia's Street Pharmacist which basically resembles a deleted scene from Killa Season set to some crazy baroque Jean Michel Jarre score :


"Fresh out the shower the only way I could be washed up"

RUGER!!!!!!!

Nova from I.N.F.O & Nova who produced Street Pharmacist reckons AraabMuzik ganked his whole sound from this song. Nova might be a bitter hack who spent 8 years as I.N.F.O's doja with no money, no cars, and no nothin', but he does have a point, huh?

Rap game the bust up between Callum and Jackie Travers on Big Brother

"Please ring the alarm
Please ring the alarm
Gucci Mane do wrestlin' moves, he power bomb your mom!"

Gucci Mane - Ring The Alarm
(From Zaytoven presents Birds Of A Feather Motion Picture Soundtrack; 2013)


Here at The Martorialist we've never been arrested for nothin' domestic and we certainly didn't approve of that scene in Chopper where Mark headbutted Tanya's mum, but there are certain mothers we'd like to see get power bombed. Current top 3 runs thus : Rose West, Maxine Carr, Caitlin Moran.

Reasons why I love YouTube : Max B edition

Look what's finally reappeared on the 'tube after Amalgam Digital had it removed a couple of years back : it's only the Where Do I Go? video innit! Appears to be slightly different to the original, mind, as it's bathed in a weird blue/yellow tint and it starts with a slightly longer intro where Max calls out NOE and Mel Matrix, albeit not by name :

"I'm wavier than you n*ggas! Every n*gga on Byrdgang : the fake Jay-Z n*gga, the Gargamel n*gga, all them wack ass n*ggas over there, I'm Biggavel'!"

Max B - Where Do I Go? (video)
(from Youtube; 2009)


Max was a funny guy and all that for always referring to Mel Matrix as "Gargamel" in his interviews after the Byrdgang split, but here at The Martorialist we ain't tryna hear a bad word about spaghetti head Murda Mel since he was a key component of so many great Byrdgang tracks, guested on last decade's grimiest N.W.A homage, and even has a couple of minor-classics to his own name :

"Since the kid was a misfit
I ain't have no best friend, just me and my biscuit"

Mel Matrix ft. Jim Jones - Man Down
(From Red Apples Falling mixtape; 2009)


No Ma$e allegedly gettin' caught in the range rover with the boy on Mel's "and the young boys they got love for me" line, though.

Generic list post

Co-wrote a wholly subjective greatest Max B songs list with the illest whigga in Chicago David Drake for Complex to accompany their interview with Wavy DMX. Props to the illest Mongolian 2$hin for originally noting the similarities between Jesus & Judas and Max & Jim Jones, and props to me for comparing Max's lyrics on Porno Muzik to the erotic sonnets of renaissance poet Francesco Petrarca in a Complex list.

Read the list here!

For the road, here's another wholly subjective list of some other personal favourite Max B tracks that are crucial to the overall Wave God experience :

Byrdgang - Bury Me In My Gucci
Max B - Which Way Did He Go?
Purple City ft. Max B & Jim Jones - Nick Nack
Max B - Starz Is Back
Byrdgang - Sour Diesel
Max B & French Montana - It Gotta Be
Max B, Mel Matrix & Jim Jones - Anniversary
Max B - Live Comfortable
Max B ft. Al Pac - Let It Go
Jim Jones ft. Max B & "the fake Jay-Z n***a" - 2 Blocks
Max B - Lonely
Byrdgang - Life's Like A Movie
Max B ft. Mack Mustard - The Greatest
Stack Bundles ft. Jim Jones & Max B - Cold Rockin' It

Martorial elegance : Joe Blow edition

Shout outs to Joe Blow's shitty Chemical Baby Clothing CBC logo t-shirt looking like a cheap arse C-Bo tee where the print has partially crumbled off :

"Blow piece with the iciest wrist
Shout out to A.P for knockin' Ice-T bitch!
Everything is tailor made, you won't find these kicks
Stressed out tryna find time to dry these whips"

Joe Blow - Real Mob
(From Been Grindin' street album; 2013)


Not feeling the Ice-T dis here even though Coco isn't fit to wash Darlene's knickers, but file Real Mob alongside Cold Pimp as certified jams from Joe Blow's Been Grindin' album that I've been using as Jacka surrogates the past 6 months. Here's hoping Ampichino's new Da Krazies 2 album which I've yet to hear has some joints I can use as Jacka surrogates for the next 6 months.

Shout outs to Dommy P

Duuk got stripes in the game like Matt Hardy's JNCO jeans!

Lest we also forget that Julienne Shepherd's editor at SPIN Christopher Weingarten once claimed that if it weren't for Das Racist we'd all still be posting on UGHH.com and listening to either Jedi Mind Tricks or J.R Writer. If Shepherd helping Das Racist avoid sexual assault charges rates as a 10 on the terrible-things-you're-going-to-burn-in-Hell-for-o-meter, Weingarten's comment surely rates somewhere around 7.5.

Anyhoo, plz believe ya boy Harry G.R.O.D.T right chea is patiently waitin' on Dom's 100 Worst People On Twitter entries on John Doran and all white American Rap bloggaz during election month, b!

TPP's 50 Shades More Paid mix

Check out this mix by our man dem TPP Is The Reason. I can't co-sign every inclusion here (Migos still only have one good song and Versace isn't it; Young Thug sounds like a 2008 Youtube parody of Wayne to me, which is probably the point but not something I'd ever wanna listen to; and My Hoes They Do Drugs is up there with Bet That and Tadow as far as songs which have been totally ruined by Pusha-T go because he's still too stupid to realise he was only ever good at being nonchalantly slick over Neptunes beats), but TPP is pro'lly the only other person in this country who listens to ZMoney so it's all luv thug chaps and all of the above, I've recently come around to Type Of Way in a big way, and any mix which starts Err Damn Day by Travis Porter & Jeremih automatically gets two thumbs up from ya boy Derek Wamp Wampsley right chea :



rap mix july 2013

01. Travis Porter ft. Jeremih - Err Damn Day
02. Gucci Mane ft. 2 Chainz - Use Me
03. Alley Boy ft. Ty$ - RNGM
04. Lil Durk - Dis Ain't What U Want
05. Rocko ft. 2 Chainz & Future - U.O.E.N.O (Remix)
06. Future - No Love
07. Migos - Versace
08. Young Thug - 2 Cups Stuffed
09. King Louie ft. Juicy J & Pusha T - My Hoes They Do Drugs
10. Rich Homie Quan - Type Of Way
11. Young Scooter - Colombia
12. Kevin Gates - Paper Chasers
13. ZMoney ft Brickfare - Cocky
14. Doe B - Let Me Find Out
15. Rich Homie Quan - Differences
16. Starlito ft. Kevin Gates & Alley Boy - Long Haul