Manneus horribilis

My high hopes for Kap G's first official Lil' Skateboard P beat/hook combo track, dashed on the rocks of another disappointing 2017 rap song. If there's one thing the College Park Mexican can do, it's sell his eye-rolling wordplay with chutzpah, so there's no excuse for him coming through with some half-arsed booty chatter on Icha Gicha. G & P's lost remix of J. Balvin's Safari was shelved but this was deemed fit for release???

Kap G ft. Pharrell Williams - Icha Gicha
(From SuperJefe album; 2017)


Sad thing is, this one still sounds better than the rest of Kap's new album of generic Chris Brown collaborations, Chinese Jordan YFN Lucci-isms, and factory-fodder trap production. You don't listen to Kap G full lengths for cohesion, but you do expect at least one Legit Jam™ per project, and this SuperJefe album doesn't have owt worth adding to my best of Vato playlist. Someone get this mang in the studio with some Happy Perez Flamenco guitar beats and don't let him out until he's spittin' zingers like Tim Vine.

I don't gotta be in yo' house to f*ck up yo' couch!

R.I.P to Charlie Murphy, I had to regurgitate. Forever the greatest rap song to be inspired by one of Charlie's True Hollywood Stories segments on The Chappelle Show:



"See, I'll be all up in people cars, dumping ashes laughin'
Spitting, wiping snot, fuck using a napkin"

Bailey - F*ck Yo Couch
(From Champ Bailey album; 2006)


Bonus beats: never forget Bailey & J. Valentine's Hyphy remix of I'm Sprung.

Late pass!

Teddy ft. Dru Down & Luniz - Are You In The Mood? (LP Version)
(From Are You In The Mood? single; 1996)


Recently discovered by ya host, some 90's Mob & Bullshit via the C-Note Records allstars & the very same Teddy who did the hook on Playa Hata. Shit is a jam but it musta stayed underground with The Fraggles because Noo Trybe never released a Teddy LP. Those guest credits are kinda misleading, though - Dru Down only delivers a quick prelude to Yukmouth's verse, and Numskull doesn't even get 1 bar on it, let alone 5.

*EDIT* Uploaded the MP3 to Audiomack here

Hammer time!

Alf Garnett sez: "Us 52%ers didn't vote Brexit so them bloody Ghancehall artists from Bongo-Bongo Land could come to our country and chirpse all our crumpet! The fing about these fackin' foreigners is that they ain't fussy when it comes to how's yer father - that Shatta Wale lad will stick his Bobby Moore up Stefflon Don's Battersea and then slip his Julian Dicks into Janine Butcher's east end innit!"

Shatta Wale - London Girls
(From t'internet; 2017)


Ya Host sez: "Song is hot like a tea kettle get! Whether you live in Clapham, Oldham, Wrexham, Strathan or Cloghan, London Girls is a legit Summer Jam™ for the first weekend of 2017 when all us Brits can get our scotch eggs out like yung Fat Frank on the pitch! Can't we all just get along so I can put hickies on her A$$ like Big Sean?"

Hero vs. Villain

Picture not bloggas own, unfortunately.

Can't believe the CMDegreez guy is steady hoggin' his copy of this tape and refusing to hook up the full MP3s of Cash Money Gorilla and the alternate version of U.T.P. Hombre is not so much Hero Vs. Villain, but Hero & Villain simultaneously.

*Juve voice* What's the use in you teasin' a song snippet if you won't rip it?

"Welcome 3 talented young men who have added new and large dimensions to the beat from the street"

Apropos of it being exactly 25 years to the day since Buff Love The Human Beatbox died in 1995 according to ya host's Facebook feed, here's the Fat Boys lip-syncing their way through Jail House Rap on Soul Train in 1984 before Don Cornelius has them perform Human Beat Box live mid-interview. You cannae spell Burr without the Brr:



Never forget it was Dru Down not Mysonne who first remade Jail House Rap. Apparently recorded for the Original Gangstas movie Dx2 made his acting debut in, but shelved because he already had a Fat Boys remake popping that year. Oh well, at least the Original Gangstas soundtrack had a legit slap by Dru's BFFs the Luniz.

Louisiana trombones alert!

'Eh up Que Tha Truth, it's been a minute since you caught my ear. Wasn't expecting to hear you in 2017 with 3/4 of the Cross Me line-up over Trel Itz A Hit beserker-bounce, but here we are:

Que Almighty ft. 70th Street Carlos & JMM Larry - Put That On Gang
(From Soundcloud; 2017)


*Edit* yes I now realise it's a tuba not a trombone.

HEY YOU GUUYS!

Anyone else been checking those Goons Of The Industry videos about some of the legendary career criminals lurking behind the scenes in the 90s rap business? These started popping up on YouTube a couple of months ago, and they're basically F.E.D.S Magazine in video form. Essential viewing for all rap gossip-hounds, so sez ya host Dead Perez:









The score used in these videos is akin to the Mastermind theme as composed by Gustav Holst. 1:31 to 2:04 is what it sounds like when planets collide:

Kevin MacLeod - Black Vortex
(From Action Cuts album; 2014)