"I like to have a good time, so I attract the ladeez"

Young Bleed really out chea with a new video on VEVO that currently has less than 50 views and makes the infamously lo-fi Put Ya Stamp On It video look like it was shot on Percy Miller's dime in 1998. Don't shed no tears for an ageing near-platinum rapper now reduced to struggle-budgets, though, because Bleed is also really out chea with Puffy as his life coach judging from Make Um Dance's sentiment. Shit should be a minefield of forced-corniness, instead it's a chessboard of goofy charms where each move results in the sorta fun you'd never expect to find on a 2015 Young Bleed song.

Young Bleed - Make Um Dance
(From YouTube; 2015)

A recent-ish jams 4 u compilation volume 4

Another zipfile of recent favourite songs I've posted over the past few months. J Hus' Lean & Bop is included because it bodies any Yank dance record made in 2015 and you can't tell me shit to the contrary.

1. Patman - LIT (2015)
2. Lil' Chris - Gods Crying (2015)
3. J Hus ft. DoccyDocs - Lean & Bop (2015)
4. The Jacka ft. Dru Down - For Real (2015)
5. J.Stalin ft. L'Jay - Bye Felicia (2015)
6. Maine Musik - Social Media Gangsta (2015)
7. Chinx - How To Get Rich (2015)
8. Shy Glizzy ft. Boosie - Going Thru It (2015)
9. Stresmatic ft. Nef The Pharaoh & Mazerati Ricky - 2 Phones (2015)
10. Nef The Pharaoh - Come Pick Me Up (2015)
11. Mozzy ft. E Mozzy & Celly Ru - Love Slidn (2015)

~~~> DOWNLOAD 'EM ALL HERE <~~~

Not a song about the practices of Dr. Gillian McKeith

Don't no digital algorithms understand me, mane, but by some weird quiver of coincidence, 3 of my 5 favourite post-prison Boosie songs are thinly-veiled sequels to his classic 2005 - 2008 deep cuts: I'm Wit Ya is an updated reconfiguration of I Know; comeback album finale I'm Sorry is Mama I'm Sorry with a broader scope; and his Shy Glizzy duet Going Thru It is Goin' Thru Some Thangs 2K15. Best track to bear Shy Glizzy's name since Funeral, and better than anything on Boosie's latest 'tape.

"Baby-momma drama - don't wanna argue, I want peace
Shit, my daughters teenagers - hope they don't fall for a n*gga like me"

Shy Glizzy ft. Boosie - Going Thru It
(From Shy Glizzy & Zaytoven's For Trappers Only mixtape; 2015)


Theory: the real reason Funeral didn't pop like folk expected is because Glizzy removed DJ Drama's opening ab libs from the official retail/streaming MP3 and effectively sapped the song of its gravitas since Dram F. Kennedy's contribution was maximum-impact-via-minimum-appearance-time on a par with Nitt Da Gritt's Trap Queen epilogue. Funeral without Drama's rousing intro monologue about leaving this mortal coil with your legacy intact so everyone at your wake can bow their heads with dignity? Yo, that's like Juelz on Rap City without Canal Street ice, the Chinese restaurant in Liverpool One without rumours of mice, or a Larry Lifeless band which doesn't besmirch Christ.

Martorial elegance # 83

Can't be a coincidence that International Mens Day also happens to fall on the same date as World Toilet Day this year because even Atlanta's foremost superthug rapper is a drydick rando in 2015. BMF: Blowin' Masculinity (with) Fedoras?

Life is a beach and these bloggas is flotsam & jetsam

Had no idea Honey Cocaine dropped a video for Martorialist fave Honeydick last month, but then why would I since most of these bloggas will only cover the music of Female Rappers™ if they can spin it into some sorta entry-level feminism thinkpiece. For a hilarious recent example of this phenomenon, contrast the amount of words written about the W.W.A singles to the amount of words usually written about Katie Got Bandz or Sasha Go Hard - comedy hasn't been that outta sync since Danny met Arnie.

Honey Cocaine - Honeydick
(From The Gift Rap EP; 2015)


As for the Honeydick video, Honey Cocaine made her male back-up dancers black out their faces before she posed on a tree stump surrounded by dead Visvim models. Can't believe the entire po-faced thinkpiece mafia missed out on a prime opportunity to shart out 500 words on how she's "subverting the male gaze".

Ya girl is usin' blow and she's usin' you

The Jacka ft. Dru Down - For Real
(From DJ Child's Mash Out Babylon compilation; 2015)


If Jacka & Dru Down had recorded a track for the Devilz Rejectz 2 album, it probably woulda been For Real. Shit is a wet sunday november night in audio form, and a song that sounds like it should have its own Murder Dog advertisement (™Rey).

Spice Playlist & Chill

Spice has gotta be my favourite non-rap artist since The-Dream, yet she seems to gets zero coverage beyond specialist dancehall blogs or Lily Allen linking the So Mi Like It video on Twitter in a desperate attempt to try and justify one of the many occasions she was accused of racism. The female half of Romping Shop has the filthiest gob in all of music right now, but there's a poetic flourish to the way Spice talks about pum, batty and jumpin' pon cocky over Jamaica's best riddims. Collated a playlist of ol' girl's best tracks from the past couple of years for everyone who fuxwit music where the wet-sheets mania of lust coexists peacefully with the warm comfort blanket of lurve.


Sidenotes: no Bend Ova because Back Bend is the far superior tune; no So Mi Like It remix with Busta because Americans should be kept as far away from dancehall as is scientifically possible; no I Love You Baby because that backing track sounds like it belongs on one of Lily Allen's cod-reggae songs; and no download link because Spice has a babby to feed - go cop her shit on Amazon or the other place.

Rap Ü

Lil' Chris - Gods Crying
(From the internet; 2015)



Lil' Big Man 2k15 goes Where Are Ü Now Tropical on a song where he compares rain to the Lord's tears and references the Dutty Whine? Count me in. Arguably the first Lil' Chris song which could feature guest appearances from Justin Bieber and The Jacka.