Is Snootie Wild cursed?

Consider the evidence - first Bhris Brown & Trey Songz nick his biggest hit and now some caucasoid Yung Gleesh lookaline called Post Malone nicks his whole style. Not gonna front like White Iverson isn't a somewhat of a jam, but folks really need to stop pretending it's an organic viral hit from outta nowhere rather than a song that's being expertly worked by a team with money and industry connex:

Post Malone - White Iverson
(From Soundcloud; 2015)


This lad appears to have zero musical back-history bar one other song and a KEY! & Makonnen track he co-produced, which leads me to believe there's a strong whiff of former grindcore vocalist turnt A$AP Honky turnt current on-trend incarnation emanating from him.

*EDIT* LMAO this peckerwood was doing deep & meaningful acoustic Bob Dylan covers in 2013 before he befriended Lyor Cohen's son:

Top 5 things learned at Westwood's party last night

1. It's no coincidence that you can't spell UKHipHop without UKIP, but Westwood's parties are single handedly solving racial tensions in this country.

2. Trap Queen is the biggest club record here right now, Hot N*gga refuses to go away, CoCo is thankfully on its way out, Westwood's cut & paste of Whatcha Say/Truffle Butter is the definitive version of the song.

3. Westwood grabbing the mic during Try Me and imploring the ethnic ladies in attendance to "try me if you want a white guy tonight" bodies the entire history of stand-up comedy.

4. Where lesser DJ's would invite a handful of white lasses onstage to awkwardly twerk for the crowd, Westwood is a true showman who employs his own troupe of PoC twerk-gymnasts the L30 Dancers to dry hump lads plucked from the crowd.

5. That rumour about some bin-dippers nicking the rims off Westwood's jeep that time are true. Consequently, he gets the train up to Liverpool nowadays.

Fangs done changed

"Saw Bobby Shmurda on Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel
*YEAH!*
Now they got him on Rikers Island
*CRAZY!*"

Uncle Murda - Rap Up
(From YouTube; 2015)


It's 2015's annual Uncle Murda post on The Martorialist already courtesy of the video for his 2014 Rap Up song. Everybody I'd linked to the MP3 of this a couple of weeks back casually dismissed it as Murda biting Skillz, but the song this actually shares the closest affinity with now it's been given the visual treatment is Maino's street DVD minor-classic Rumors, and that song/video's format of pithy zings and gossip-mongering is the perfect set-up for a rap troll like Uncle Murda.

Plus, unlike every Skillz Rap Up track ever recorded, Uncle Murda's song has replay value since it breathes new life into the same Dexter Wansel sample as Agallah & Sean Price's Rising To The Top, and Murda's comic timing on the ad libs is Jim Jones circa 2006 - 2008-level perfect. No, really - if you haven't added "I THINK?", "I'LL STILL HIT IT!", "YOU KNOW HOW WHITEY DO!, "SHE KICKED HIM!", and "I KNOW!" to your daily lexicon then you just ain't listening right.

No Black Sheep

Linked this in last weeks Swag-Rap Renaissance generic list, but the song deserves a post of its own since it's the best Battle of The Sexes rap song since Safe Sex by Bo Deal & Mello G Blanca. The spectre of Project Pat & La' Chat's back-and-forth on Chickenhead looms large here, and, as Facebook has proven time and time again, there's nowt more entertaining than a couple airing each other's dirty laundry out in public:

"C'mon let's be real, I know that you broke
Thinkin' that you fresh? Them yo' homeboy' clothes
Just got offa work? You ain't got no job
Same shirt, same pants, shit stains in yo' draws"

Mr. 2-17 ft. The Ratchets - This And That
(From Know What I'm Sayin 2 mixtape; 2014)

Biz Khalifa

"Back when I was a kid I used to drive aloooone
Always feelin' like I was stuck out here on my own
Now my pockets are full and I'm still drivin' slow
What goes on in my head, don't nobody really know"

Wiz Khalifa - Smoke Chambers
(From Soundcloud; 2014)


Post-divorce Wiz is a Numan altogether: solus in his car, weary of the outside world, and somehow now possessing the ability to remodel this casual freestyle over some Mac DeMarco song that sounds like a really weird gay night at Blackpool Ballroom circa 1974 into Biz Markie's Alone Again 2K14. This one dropped late last december and works best if you consider it as a harbinger of Wiz releasing his sensual 8 minute odyssey with Ty Dolla $ign - the The May 4th Movement Starring Doodlebug to ease you into the Black Ego.

Hearing this for the first time on Charlie Sloth this afternoon made it worth suffering through all the grim UK road-rap and that OB O'Brien & Drake song where Abu Hamface attempts to do a Jamaican accent.

Generic list post: R.I.P Jacka edition

Why does it ALWAYS have to be the important rappers who die? Why can't it be the kiddie fiddlers like South Park Mexican or the psychopaths like Big Lurch instead of the promising upstarts like Speaker Knockerzs and Lil' Snupe, or the legends like Pimp C and Jacka? The erstwhile Shaheed Akbar AKA Dominick Newton earned his own place on rap's Mount Olympus by releasing one of the 10 best albums of the noughties with The Jack Artist and by fathering an entire sub-genre of gangsta-rap which sprawled from Oakland and Sacramento to Ohio and Indiana, so you'd have thought he'd have earned himself enough good karma from this senselessly fucked-up universe which presumably keeps Suge Knight alive because he was partially responsible for the Death Row back-catalogue to live a long and healthy life as an Oakland rap legend in which he could get keep getting fatter and fatter by the year as he'd been doing since most of us first became aware of him after Barney (More Crime) appeared on Cormega's Legal Hustle compilation in 2004.

As someone who grew up loving Slick Rick and Too $hort equally, Jacka's music was catnip to me: melodic but never at the expense of a bassline you could feel in your molars, and vividly written but never at the expense of a catchy tune that'd worm its way into your head. Fuck being hard, Jacka was complicated, which is why immersing one's self in his mammoth catalogue was such a rewarding experience. This was a man who not only wrestled with the contradictory impulses of human psychology on record, he also brought the best out of an otherwise useless pudding like Berner on the two separate albums they recorded together. Thus, the best way I can pay tribute to Jack' today is by gorging myself on a steak this lunchtime and delving deep into his catalogue once again in order to come up with a generic list post of my favourite Jacka tracks. Never blink, never forgotten:

1. The Jacka ft. Husalah - Blind World (2005)
2. The Jacka - Heavy Rain (2005)
3. The Jacka - Murder Somebody (2006)
4. The Jacka & Husalah - N*ggas Out There Mine (2006)
5. The Jacka - Barney (More Crime) (2004)
6. The Jacka ft. Husalah - Pigeon On A T-Shirt (2005)
7. The Jacka - Kuran (2005)
8. The Jacka ft. J Stalin & Dub 20 - Never Blink (2005)
9. The Jacka & Ampichino ft. T-Nutty & Husalah - Hustle In The Rain (2010)
10. The Jacka - Iller Clip (2005)
11. The Jacka ft. Too $hort & Husalah - Die Young (2001)
12. The Jacka ft. Cormega - Storm (2009)
13. The Jacka - Feel This Clip (2005)
14. The Jacka & Ampichino - I Try (2006)
15. The Jacka ft. Lil' Ric - Won't Break Me (2005)
16. The Jacka ft. Kazi & Husalah - 1, 2, 3 (2001)
17. The Jacka & Ampichino ft. Nate Da Nut - Family First (2006)
18. The Jacka ft. Fed-X - Standing By Starz (2005)
19. The Jacka, Ap.9 & Fed-X - Hood In Me (2008)
20. The Jacka ft. Cellski - Won't Be Right (2009)
21. The Jacka - A Real Feeling (2008)
22. The Jacka ft. Andre Nickatina - Glamourous Lifestyle (2009)
23. The Jacka - Dopest Foreal (2009)
24. The Jacka & 12 Gauge Shottie - Dope (2009)
25. The Jacka & Ampichino ft. Husalah & Lil' Rue - Death To My Enemies (2010)
26. The Jacka ft. Dru Down & Joe Blow - The President's Face (2014)
27. The Jacka - Million Miles (2001)
28. The Jacka - Ask God (2014)
29. Freeway & The Jacka - Uh Huh (2013)
30. The Jacka & Berner ft. Lee Majors & Fed X - Trafficking (2009)

EDIT - an anonymous person came through in the comments with a 32 song Jacka compilation. Download that shit here.

2:45 minutes of funk

"Bend her over in the car, that's what she want me to
But no dough, I ain't budgin' like I got a cramp or two"

Hardini - Come Thru
(From the internets; 2015)



It's cool when you play Pin The Tail On The Unknown Rapper With The Funniest Name as you're browsing Siccness' new audio section and chance upon on a song which sounds like D-Lo revamping No Hoe in the quasi-Egyptian style of Mac Dre's Dipped When You See Me. Give this man a round of applause for bringing back ‘Spongebobs’ as a pejorative 11 years after Slick Pulla used it on the O.G mixtape version of Trap Or Die.

Rap songs that aren't on YouTube but really should be # 4

It's january 1987 and T La Rock is finally on the cusp of releasing his debut album 4 years after It's Yours redefined The New Rap Language. He has 9 songs already recorded with his chosen producers DJ Louie Lou & Kurtis Mantronik, but he's contractually required to deliver a 10 song LP by his record label and has just over 9 minutes worth of space left to fill on side 2 of the album. The LP can only end one way: an iconoclastic yet representative valediction, with its host triumphantly reminding the new generation of rappers already threatening him to make him irrelevant why It's Yours is in their DNA, as the combined talents of Louie Lou & Kurtis Mantronik push the album's tuff LinnDrum sound to its logical conclusion.

Instead, big Tezza choose to end his hallowed long-awaited debut album with a 9 minute sub-Buffalo Gals calamity which features a repeated "What's Up, Doc?" vocal sample that reaches Chinese water-torture levels of irksome by its 4th appearance, Greg Nice ad libbing about his hairy butthole in a hillbilly accent, and DJ Louie Lou doing an egregiously racist AZN impersonation which makes Mickey Rooney's performance in Breakfast At Tiffany's seem like a multi-nuanced portrayal of the AZN-American experience. Its title is Live Drummin' With The Country Boy, it's both uniformly awful and a key song in the history of '80s rap, and nobody has ever bothered to upload it to YouTube in the past decade:

"Confucius say to me
You go to bed with itchy butt, you wake up with sticky fingers"

T La Rock ft. Greg Nice & Louie Lou - Live Drummin' With The Country Boy
(From Lyrical King (From The Boogie Down Bronx) album; 1987)