Black Is Back

"I don't argue with my bitch, we just agree to disagree
You ain't never seen a n***a do this shit to dis degree"

Eatem - Start It Off
(From the internet; 2024)


Eatem has spent the past year bouncing in and out of prison, but he's back with a "allow me to reintroduce myself" type track. Much like Lil' Ricefield's Him Burton, this is one of those rare all bars/no chorus tracks I can fuxwit because it's a (re)intro which still has structure even though it lacks a chorus. Plus, the beat is that old robotic, futuristic Galvatron shit that's left a doo doo stain on my brain the size of Unicron. Don't get me twisted like an Arabian gymnast tho - apart from the 1986 movie, everything about the entire Transformers franchise sucked.

* Really doe, it's time for Eatem & Day Day Sustaaa to stop sittin' around like puddings and shoot a video for their battle-of-the-sexes song Get Somebody Else To Do It.

* Plz believe my Eatem's Greatest Pressure playlist is still available for yer listening pleasure.

'Mande Effect

Getting It Back: The Cymande Story (trailer)
(the BFI's YouTube page; 2024)


Been waiting to see the Cymande documentary since a trailer for it first appeared a couple of years back, so shit was on like Donkey Kong when my local cinema screened it last night. Never did I ever imagine I'd see the Biz Markie puppet on a British cinema screen, but that's exactly what happened when the documentary featured clips from Master Ace's Me & The Biz video. I never quite realised how unsuccessful they were in the U.K at the time, nor how popular they briefly were in America - my mans supported Al Green on tour playing to thousands of people every night, were the first British group to headline Harlem's Apollo theatre, and The Message was a legit Billboard 100 hit. Fancy that eh?

Cymande's Dove is one of those songs which has me thinking "how did ANYBODY ever come up with this?" and "how did NOBODY ever come up with this before?" at the SAME DAMN TIME! Moreover, I can't believe nobody flipped that sample until Diamond D cooked up The Score for The Fugees in 1996. Part of me wishes Diamond had given that beat to somebody else, but that somebody else probably would have been wack-arse Fat Joe. Sometimes you've gotta say "c'est Fu-Gee-La vie" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We live in a world where nobody has ever uploaded Cymande's Soul Train appearance to YouTube, but there are multiple uploads of David Bowie's performance of his woeful Golden Years single on Soul Train. Motherf**kers are all up in the game with their priorities missin'.

Late pass!

Hard Rock Soul Movement - Double Def Fresh
(From 12" single; 1986)


What dis? A 1986 British Electro track by future Kiss FM DJ duo Max LX & Dave VJ designed for Covent Garden body-poppers which got a second wind during the 1988/1989 Summer Of Love and became a favourite of Acid House Ravers. Makes sense because you can totally imagine this gettin' played next to sum shit like Voodoo Ray, right? Morgan Khan must not have been a fan of this track because he never included it on any of his Street Sounds Electro compilations. But the likes of A Guy Called Gerald, LFO and Autechre were all big fans of this track and it shows in their early music.

A pack of Jammy Dodgers goes to any non-Brits who can identify where the "I'm afraid it's not fresh" vocal sample comes from. Don't be cheating by Googling it tho!

Russell Athletic

LARussell & P-Lo - Lil' Lad (Unimpressed)
(From Majorly Independent EP; 2024)


No shotz, just factz: this LARussell & P-Lo EP with the former on the raps & the latter on the beats is a better 2024 HBK Gang release than the #actual 2024 HBK Gang release by Kool John & P-Lo. You already know Yankin' with D-Lo is my shit, and this is another choon of choice. When LARussell says "man, this shit be makin' me feel like Turf Talk, oh my God!" in the opening seconds, it sets the tone for what type of Dumb Knock™ this one is.

Follow The (Imperious) Leader

Rappers, dump your bespoke Jesus-piece medallions and cop yourself a vintage 1978 Battlestar Galactica official merchandise pendent of Imperious Leader. Late 70s kids turning up to infant school with that thing around their necks must have felt like Slick Rick in 1988. The pendents were never released in the U.K, but we did get Mattel's Imperious Leader action figure after Battlestar Galactica mania hit Britain in the early 1980s. File it under 'action figures which looked like Colonel Gaddafi meets Purple Aki.'

In 1990 Mattel released the first ever The Simpsons figures including a Bart Simpson & skateboard figure which was the blueprint for Gucci Mane's amazing Bart Simpson chain. If Jeezy had his wits about him he'd have responded by getting a chain made modelled on Mattel's Nelson Muntz & trashcan figure, but with Bart's legs sticking out of the trashcan. Crazy visionz, BOOM:

Yeah, in the past year I've become one of those sad late 40-something blokes who use vintage toy figures as objet d'art ornaments for my desk and shelves. Holla @ ya host if you wanna sell me a Baron Greenback bully figure for around the £20 mark.

Rumour has it your kitty burnin', girl, that's a Hellcat

LARussell & P-Lo ft. D-Lo & Malachi - Yankin'
(From Majorly Independent EP; 2024)


... and speakin' of P-Lo, he produced LARussell's new single which I fuxwit. We got subtle but effective use of the Sonic Boom thud-reverbos; we got three rappers & one producer with chemistry galore in the single-take video; we got a chorus which shouts out Messy Marv and The Jacka; and we got a finger-snappin' riddim. Unfortunately, we also got LARussell wearing Nu-Metal lookin' ass trousers which are even worse than the JNCO lookin' ass jeans LL Cool J wore in the Saturday Night Special video. When did Rappers become the most swagless dressers on the planet? What happened to the world?

HBacK

Kool John & P-Lo - Tip Toe
(From Moovie 2: The Yequel album; 2024)


Ezale and Seiji Oda both have AZNthems out, so it's only right P-Lo steps in the arena. Peep him & Kool John goin' back and forth like centre court @ Wimbledon on this latest single. I hate tennis, but you catch my drift, yeah? HBK on their EPMD. That video intro tho - shit's got me feelin' like Roy Keane when he rang Robbie Savage.

P-Lo is a good example of Mouse On Tha Track syndrome: wherein the crew's producer guy figures out his own lane as a rapper, and then outlasts everyone else in the crew with his auteur songwriter/producer talent.

Twinkle twinkle, little slap (part 2)

"'Cause even when you lightweight slap, I go dumb
We gon' do it big like FE-FI-FO-FUM
They be jackin' slang wonderin' where it came from
And we all got game so each-one-teach-one
We all different"

Seiji Oda - A Gentle Gigg
(From A Gentle Gigg EP; 2024)


File this under 'a song which slaps so much more serenely for me now it has a video.' Very pleased to hear Seiji actually rapping again because he lost me last year with all the wishy-washy Auto-Tune sangy shit. True story: he got the phrase Gentle Gigg General from little old me.