He used to hold my teeth, I used to call him braces

J Hus - Massacre (Colors performance)
(From YouTube; 2023)


J Hus metaphors givin' me flashbacks of Hell Rell's album cover. Massacre is ya host's favourite example of the Roadrapfrobeats sound on Hus' new album, but I prefer this Colors performance to the studio version. "They never seen such a skinny man in a big puffer jacket" back for 2023, baby! As demonstrated here, Hus has a very malleable natural mouthpiece, which is why it deactivates my chakra when he smothers his voice in generic Auto-Tune on certain songs. Now, let's get a Dreck-less Colors performance of Who Told You next.

Beloved by bitches like brown UGGs

"Like to think I'm kinda smart, a n***a coulda been a surgeon
Like the same Gzus Piece in a slightly different person"

Gzus Piece - Rich Off Drugs (R.O.D)
(From Rich Off Drugs (R.O.D) single; 2023)


"To obtain the biscuit one first must risk it
These is non-fiction bars I be throwin' like discus"

Gzus Piece - Hibiscus
(From Hibiscus single; 2023)


Don't get it twisted, Gzus Piece is also lightin' up #MondayMass like Christmas with new techniques which are more holistic mixed with pimp shit and some spiritualistic. Here at The Martorialist we're perennially in a 12" single state of mind, so these two singles go together like Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett as an A-side and B-side. I swear both songs is all chicken whether they're wings or they're tenders.

True story: Rich Off Drugs is the first time I've come across the word Sassafras since Green Day dropped Dookie.

Girl, Gou know it's true

Peggy Gou - (It Goes Like) Nanana
(From (It Goes Like) Nanana single; 2023)


Peggy Gou's latest single being Britain's inescapable ipso facto 2023 Song of The Summer is the universe correcting its two previous mistakes of Starry Night not blowing up in 2019 and Dreck ruining J Hus' 2023 summer anthem. Much like Starry Night was kinda like a City-Pop House version of Bananarama's Aie a Mwana, (It Goes Like) Nanana is kinda like a City-Pop House version of Bananarama's Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss Him Goodbye). More importantly, it's the only song which can unite BooHooMan lads, ASOS "Get The Look" lasses, Primani Joes & Joannes, Stone Island scallies, Gorpcore zoomers and Gen X Clobber Connoisseurs™ on British pub dance floors right now. It's a beautiful thing when a song you love by an artist you like takes over the real world innit? Hat tip to XL and ATB.

My Mind Spray 11

Myopic New Yorkers won't admit it, but MC Shy D rocked that navy & red leather Adidas Superstar tracksuit better than Run-D.M.C. Naturally, I had to cop the polyester version when Adidas reissued it 2017, and it was notably rocked by Maine Musik. Adidas' last great Superstar tracksuit before the brand switched to cheaper materials and added that damn contrast piping to all the tops.

Listening to Z-Ro's new single with Shaquille O'Neal has got me wondering whether Shaq prefers The Life of Joseph W. McVey or Let The Truth Be Told? The former is the more consistent album, but the latter's highlights are the best shit Z-Ro's ever recorded.

YouTube currently recommending me Loon interviews has reminded me of a few things: This Ain't Funny is a deep cut which really shoulda been a street single; flipping Schoolly D's Saturday Night into some Fake Neptunes jiggyness on How You Want That was a minor stroke of Bad Boy genius; Loon ghostwrote one of my favourite Puffy lines ever with "have you ever been to St. Tropez and seen a brother play a mandolay?" on I Need A Girl Part 2.

An A&R who shoulda been fired: the label guy at Big Beat Records who decided that the A-side of Percee P & Ekim's debut 12" single should be the middling Now They Wanna See Me rather than the killer Puttin' Heads To Bed or the fast-rap classic Lung Collapsing Lyrics. You had one job and you blew it twice, m8.

One of the absolute worst things about the Rap Internet is that it's fulla gormless basic bastards who primarily talk about music in terms of maths - be it first week sales, streaming numbers, view counts, chart positions, social media followers, Top 5 MC lists, "1 Gotta Go" polls and release date anniversaries. These lads are a buncha L7s and when I say L7 I ain't talkin' about Donita Sparks & Dee Plakas, booiiiiiii.

I promise anybody can get it like I'm a communist

"I keep my glock in a purse, you can't endorse it
Oh, you forgot about 2Pac in the corset?
Or Cameo with the red cup on his nuts
You old n*ggas need to shut the f**k up!"

Mic Terror ft. Gzus Piece - Chinese Money
(From Chinese Money single; 2023)


Took me a while to warm to comrade Gzus Piece's flow here, but now I've acclimatised and everything is all Bisto. In fact, it's the exact sort of graviness I want from a 2023 Mic Terror & Gzus Piece song. Check the optimum #ClobberTalk in Mic T's verse defending man-bags from the criticisms of sartorially-stunted old headz with selective memories and Polly Pocket mentalities. These streets are like Baghdad if you ain't carrying your gentlemen's essentials in a man-bag. Less essential, however, is Gzus Piece's fleece jacket in the video. Gorpcore victims have a lot to answer for with making an eyeball-polluting fabric like fleece aesthetically acceptable. The black sheep of Gorp-gear, it's the clobber equivalent of an ironic mullet.

"They let me in with the strap, but they vaccined Cardi B
Why the f**k they sell junk food at the pharmacy?
R. Kelly at a high school game ain't as hard as me
I don't give a f**k, Robert still the king of R&B"

Mic Terror - Lori Lightfoot
(From Lori Lightfoot single; 2023)


Catching up on some of the recent #MondayMass tracks and this one is a jam 4 real in the Mic Terror canon. Still containing multitudes, still reppin' Harold's Chicken Shack, still Chicago's Papi of #Problematic Rap. Real talk, why do they sell Chupa Chup lollipops in pharmacies?

My Mind Spray 10.5

Such a shame it's not cool to check for TREE anymore because his recent 10 Mac 11's song is as good as his classic shit and categorically bodies most of the trendy Rap which folks are currently goin' cuckoo for on the internet.

Juvenile & Mannie Fresh's Tiny Desk show was so good I'm hankering for a part two where they perform Bounce For The Juvenile, Solja Rag, Follow Me Now, U Understand, I Got That Fire, Nolia Clap and Get Ya Hustle On. Let Mannie get his roll on with a live rendition of Real Big too.

True story: the San Francisco Funk-Metal band Mordred invented Bay Area Slap in 1989. Their music actually slapped while the 80s Rap music by Too $hort, Calvin-T, Magic Mike, Digital Underground, The Mac, Mac Dre etc more accurately bumped or knocked. Mordred also invented Nu-Metal because they were the first Rock band to have a DJ cuttin' shit up on their songs.

I'm definitely in the midst of a mid-life crisis because I just copped that second Super7 Slick Rick toy figure to go with the first figure. I've kept both them shits carded and hung 'em on the wall as art. Wouldn't say no to Super7 doing two Mac Dre figures for #balance: one in his What's Really Going On? outfit and one in his Treal T.V 2 Hawaii outfit.

If you thought Jim Jones' late 2000s bootcut jeans were bad, check out these bellbottomed monstrosities he wore recently. Ironically, he isn't even wearing the worst jeans in that picture. Pix like that make me grateful that my love affair with Rap music began in the 80s when its practioners actually wore cool clobber.

Same old Aussies, always melting

A while back our cobber King Kos recommended a 1993 Ausploitation horror flick by the name of Body Melt. Very relevant to Martorialist interests, the movie is a gross-out splatterfest in the vein of Peter Jackson's early flicks which features such Aussie TV luminaries as him wot played Harold Bishop in Neighbours, him wot played Toby Mangel in Neighbours, and him wot played Matthew the ghost in Round The Twist series two. But the best thing about Body Melt has gotta be the soundtrack by the movie's director Philip Brophy. Each character/set of characters has their own theme, with the highlight being the score for the baddest bitch Australian big pharma has ever seen AKA Shaan. On one hand, it's the least Australian song ever because it sounds like one of Yuzo Kishora's Rave-inspired Streets of Rage tracks. On the other hand, the song has a gonzo bluntness which is pure Aussie bogan. Throw the good sportsmanship on the Bar-B, m8.

Philip Brophy - Shaan
(From Body Melt soundtrack; 1993)

Go fight some other guy

"Your love lookin' through my phone? I can keep that shit
Your love ask you where I'm goin'? You can keep that shit
Don't tell me go see my hoes, 'cause I'll go see that bitch
'Cause either with you or without you Ima be THAT shit
Now I do want you around, but I don't need that shit
You say some mean-ass shit, I think you mean that shit
If it's a toxic situation I will leave that shit
We don't gotta fight to f*ck, just say you need that d*ck
I just need a rolled blunt and a clean-ass crib
And a home-cooked meal from a sweet-ass chick
With a nice booty and some DD-ass t*ts
And I'll be home and outta trouble and I won't be in the mix"

Mic Terror - Is This Love?
(From Is This Love? single; 2023)


Mic Tre on that Devin The Broski shit with this one. Suga Free once said love ain't nothin' but two people feelin' sorry for each other, Mic's stance is more love ain't nothin' but two people learnin' to tolerate each other. Or, to paraphrase Brand Nubian, love me by leavin' me alone. Anyhoo, give our boy a Black Excellence Oscar for delivering some of the best domestic argument faces in a music video since Terrence Howard in Ashanti's Foolish clip.