Rap Game Brandon Sales

You know how Never Did by Rich Kidz failed to make much impact IRL when it should've been as big as Ca$hin' Out or Ayy Ladies earlier this year? Can someone plz wrong that right and make sure In The Car from the new Rich Kidz 'tape is the biggest ATL Rap hit of 2013 because it's everything great about Travis Porter's fruity ATL-Rap and Ty$'s Rap & Bullshit distilled into a single song :

"..and I ain't even asked you for your number
I just wanna do it in the hummer.."

Rich Kidz - In The Car
(From Straight Like That 3 mixtape; 2012)


Anyone who can answer what the fat third member of Rich Kidz actually contributes to the group other than dancing awkwardly in their videos wins a special prize of some minging peppermint flavoured green tea I bought by accident thinking it was just the regular variety a few weeks ago. It tastes like a pack of polo mints dissolving in a cup of warm 5 day old piss but it's very good for weight loss according to the packaging.

Bestest 2 rap songs of the last 7 days

"Fuck you n*ggas with a horse's cock
I'm takin' mine off the top
whores watch as we board the yacht like George C. Scott"

Roc Marciano - We Ill
(From Reloaded album; 2012)


In which Roc Marciano gives a lesson to Jay Electronica in how you're supposed to rhyme on percussion-free production without sounding like Mindbender Futurama's Mindbender Loves You show over a beat which sounds like the score for some mythical James Bond Vs. Jim Jump from King Of New York spin-off movie. Still not sold on Marciano as a great album artist given some of his supine choices in production, but when he does get it right, he makes N.Y Rap sound effortless again.

"I want action, n*gga, gunclappin', n*gga
flex up and I'm whackin' n*ggas
these hoes like action figures : no brain, heart, and no passion' in 'em"

Bo Deal ft. Zed Zilla - Nothin' Like Me
(From Welcome To Klanville mixtape; 2012)


In which Bo Deal continues his recent one-hot-song-every-mixtape average and Zed Zilla partially redeems himself after his dismal Rents Due 2 mixtape. I got two related questions with this one : who'd a thunk Bo Deal would be the only good Brick Squad weed-carrier still knocking out the odd good tune in late 2012, and is it true that that Zed Zilla is the Rapper $tarlito takes multiple subliminal shots at on Clap For Him? You know who you are, we know who you ain't etc.

Are Das Racist and their manager the Rap Game Terry Richardson?

Think about it, yo: in the same way rapey Richardson has Anna Wintour threatening the girls he molested that their modelling careers are finished unless they keep schtum, the two sexual-predators from Das Racist and their alleged rapist manager have had Julienne Shepherd from SPIN Magazine (who just happens to be dating Dap from Das Racist) keep the sexual-assault allegations about them out of the Rap media.

Whether this means Julienne's fellow SPIN scribe Brendan Sodeberberg is Grace Coddlington or André Leon Talley depends entirely on how closely you paid attention to the Vogue office power dynamics in The September Issue. Whatever the case, the pair of them are a couple of careerist stooges protecting a trifecta of sleazy sexual-predators; it's now impossible to take Shepherd seriously as a feminist when she's sold her fellow woman out at the expense of her Rapper boyfriend & his pals, and Soderberg sure has some nerve complaining about Lupe Fiasco's mansplaining when he's part of the rapist-sympathising SPIN cabal that's swept a sexual-assault story under the carpet in order to protect three of their Rap industry buddies.

Related : And the winner of SPIN magazine's # 1 Rap song of 2012 goes to..

The millennium Palko

I know we're supposed to hail Agent Orange as Cage's artistic apex, but I'll be damned if I'm riding for any song which starts with the line "I'm against the machine like Rage"; Dude should've stepped his 90's Rap-metal similes up and at least come with something creative like "I'll leave your mouth with no fronts like Dog Eat Dog!" instead, right? The original version of 54 (minus the cumbersome breakdowns of the LP version) my man Dan is actually the best record Cage ever made and it's his masterpiece because it sounded absolutely nothing like anything else he'd made at that point, possibly because he was still deluded enough to think that he could compete with Slim Shady-era Eminem :

Cage - 54 (original version)
(From 54 12"; 1999)


In reality, the best Cage could've hoped for back at the turn of the millennium was a really good undie N.Y Rap solo album in the vein of Scaramanga's 7 Eyes, 7 Horns LP, made from the best Mighty Mi and Alchemist beats from the Smut Peddlers LP and the 4 Mondee beats from the Yak Ballz EP. Alas, it wasn't to be and Cage's only real achievements of note after 54 were his embarrassingly hilarious identity-crisis after he discovered The Hives and checkerboard slip-ons at the age of 32, and his bankrupting of Def Jux after his Suicide Boy-bait album that El-P bet his entire label's budget on tanked spectacularly.

A message to all white American Rap bloggers still blessing the internet with their thoughts on U.S politics

Courtesy of the nastiest and duttiest track Sean Peeeeeeeeeee has been involved in since Fuck Dat Rapper and Da Art Of Disrespekinazation in 2008 :

Sean Price - STFU Part 2
(From Mic Tyson album; 2012)


The final word on the 2012 American election can only fall to the blog game Afrika Sukhbaatar who continues to bring that Mongolia Clap to every plump Yenta in north London :

20 great non-2012 Rap songs I discovered in 2012

Token bi-monthly generic vanity list in the vein of this post from last year. Feel free to drop some gems you've caught late passes for in the '012 too on some I Share, We All Share type shit. Unless, that is, you're Wicked22 - then you can git ta steppin' and go slash your wrists with your Damu The Fudgemunk REAL VINYL NOT MP3S!!! :

DB Tha General - Gas (2007)
Chinx Drugz ft. French Montana - All About My Money (2010)
Boo ft. Maxminelli & J-Von - Ima (1999)
Grand Puba - Time To Put It On (199?)
Jackie Chain - Molly (2011)
Young Squad - Break Me Off (2008)
All $tar - $tarlito's Way (2007)
J-Buc & Lil' Cali - Stuck up (2011)
Disco Four - Throwdown (1983)
Ike Eyes - Blue Roxies (2011)
Duddy Ken & Attitude - Valet (2003)
A-Mafia - I Ain't Playin' (2004)
Newcleus - Programmed 4 L.O.V.E (2009)
TREE - Trouble (2011)
Black Rob ft. The Lox - Can I Live? (alternate 12" version) (1999)
Maceo - Ho Sit Down (2006)
Lord Finesse - Inconsiderate Females (1989)
Handy ft. Box & Webbie - Mobbin' In Them Old Schools (2005)
HBK Gang - She Ready (2010)
Latee ft. Prince Naiquan & E-Marvelous - Who Rips The Sound (199?)

Martorial elegance # 66

^^^^^ This is why amateur Rap vlogging is currently light years ahead of aspiring professional music-critic vlogging, folks - FrankieThaLuckyDog breaks out a secrete & rare 1-of-1 Rest In Peace Lil' Phat ringer tee for his live video review of the Lil' Trill & Shell album; whereas Anthony Fantano squeezes his tubby moobed torso into smedium Death Grips merchandise-stand tees for his Youtube reviews, and shamelessly continues to Dana Dane his internet forefather Filipino Frank AKA Dozer AKA Chinese Cog by rockin' t-shirts with neckholes that are more stretched-out than Peter Schibetta's butthole :

Ayo ANU # 4

You gonna post something from the Lil' Trill & Shell album or is that dubious honour left to me?

So, it was inevitable that Lil' Trill would finally make a song I like on his new duo album with perennial Trill ENT coffee-boy Shell, just like it was inevitable that said song would be one that Mouse On Tha Track has worked his magic on. What's unexpected here is that it's the Mouse production he doesn't lend his vocals to for a chorus; instead, it uses a recurring word gimmick hook like Boosie's Bullshit that challenges you not to soak your jocks laughing every time you hear it because it's the most silly noise I've heard on a Rap song since Lil' Trill's pre-pubescent 2008/2009 voice :

"If you a hatin' type n*gga you should drown in mud"

Lil' Trill & Shell - Me
(From By Any Means Necessary album; 2012)