Sunday, 18 January 2009

I hate smart chicks but i love brains...

Min, the Egyptian god of fertility, is usually distinguished by his throbbing stiffy poking itself into the face of anyone unfortunate enough to find themselves in his immediate vicinity. Now, i'm no expert but credible sources (Doctor Who and Krs One) have suggested that the Egyptians were a technologically advanced race who were so sapient that they may have had the means to travel through time so it's entirely possible this long-donged deity may have hopped in his horse drawn DeLorean, skedaddled foward to 2008 and popped his permanentely petrified-prick over Vicki Coren.

Vicki, daughter of the late Alan Coren, kinda reminds me of a plumper, less fit Julie Delpy (which is a compliment) and when she isn't patronising former University Challenge champion geeks like the ubiquitous Dr Ian Bayley on BBC4 quiz shows with her stern headmistress-esque voice and demeanour, she's winning Poker tournaments and playing Texas Hold 'Em all night in her local casino. So not only is she a posh arrogant bird with a hot voice who comes from money, but she's also a professional gambler who makes that Theo Paphitis loot (she raked in over $1,200,000 in poker tournament winnings alone last year) which could be used to keep me in the life of Ted Dibiase type luxury i feel i deserve to be living in.

And she has nice tits, which makes her top 5 dead or alive in my reckoning.


2SHIN said...

Actual quote from my facebook:

"Interests: Victoria Coren, Tina Fey and Sharon Horgan"

She forms the holy trinity of the most eligible bachlorettes in the world.

My love for these women knows no bounds.

2SHIN said...

I think the vibrations from her voice would give me constant erections though.

She also wrote a book about her making a porno.

Perfect woman.

louise said...

Look at you two bonding over a shared love of vagina. It's almost bringing a tear to my eye.
Please say throbbing stiffy again though. It does actually turn me on.

Superbrad said...

i think dr. ian was on every single bbc quiz last year