Martorial elegance # 35

Is CJ a victim of the rolled chino trend? Does Daphne wear skirts or trousers with those M&S blouses? Do Kevin, Chris, Barry, and Pat ever turn up in shorts during hot weather? Has Judith got a decent body on her for a GAILTF?

These are the questions which plague every Eggheads fan who spends too much time pondering what our Herculean tv quiz team are wearing under their desk as we twist and crank our necks into flesh pretzels to catch a glimpse of their outfits that split-second when you see them stand up before it cuts to them sitting there grimacing in the question room.

The newest issue of Radio Times with the Eggheads feature finally clears one of these pertinent issues up as we learn that Judith doesn't look too dumpy for a 67 year old and that her footwear of choice are... Chuck Taylors?



Can women of pensionable age wear Converse? Were the clues there all along with her being an expert on the Rolling Stones during the music rounds? Aren't Cons Jack Purcells, Pro-Keds Royal Los and those recent Nike premium All Courts (the tan suede ones in particular) all better alternatives to Chucks in the same price range if you want some kicks with a white rubber toebox? Is going from making posts about why Judith is the most alluring tv quiz show member of recent times to obsessing over her footwear in the space of two years a symbol of my spiral into hommedom?

J-Zone - Q&A

MF Doom's best track since the glory days of Operation Doomsday?

I've been pretty much disappointed by everything MF Doom has dropped since Operation Doomsday aside from the odd tune here and there and Madvillain, which took a while to worm its way into my brain as i'm a square who thought Doom only excelled over his own beats, so i was fairly indifferent about his new album, but i'm pleasantly suprised that i've liked everything which has leaked from it so far, with the exception of that new version of the Ghostface tag-team Angelz with the clunky tagged-on drums which make it lumber where it once soared.

This got me thinking what his best post-Operation Doomsday tune is. You don't have to be Gail Grimble (Palin is so 2008, darling; It's all about Trimble in 2009) to know that it's I Hear Voices part 2 but that'd be too obvious a choice and, besides, it doesn't count as it was on the reissue of Op' Doomsday. Madvillain is great but it works better as something you experience as a whirlwind whole as opposed to singling out specific tracks.

Fast Lane with Kurious from the King Geedorah album is magnificent but that's also disqualified due to it not having Doom rapping on it, so his finest post-Operation Doomsday moment has gotta be Mic Line, his solo track from the otherwise woeful Monsta Island Czars group album :

MF Doom - Mic Line



Where does that sample come from? Isn't it some Stevie Wonder cover which was on that Bobbito & DJ Spinna mix?

Trina is NOT the Baddest Bitch

Though, i hasten to add that this and this will always get love here at The Martorialist.



I've had a thang for Kate O'Mara ever since she was in Dr Who and Dynasty (is that the most unlikely pairing on the cv of an actress in the history of tv?) when i was a shorty. Like Winehouse, she has a touch of dirty gypsy whore about her but on tv she usually played posh Cruella DeVille-ish bitches and, crucially, looked like one with her haughty sneer, vampish high-cheekbones and come-hither eyes. You could propose that she was a human version of Skeletor's bird Evil-Lyn, who many a seventies baby raised in the eighties will have lusted over during their misspent youth.



Phwoar..

The last show i remember Kate in was Absolutely Fabulous but that feels like a lifetime ago and it would be polite to suggest that Kate could be described as positively archaic at this point, so when i heard she was in an episode of Doctors last year i watched it through my fingers on the iPlayer thinking she'd probably be looking like a cat's sphincter superglued onto a rotten rear by now. Yet, despite the fact she makes Mumm-Ra The Ever Living seem like someone Gary Glitter would pester, she hasn't really aged since about 1991 (Corey Feldman Syndrome) - she's still fit and i still find myself libidinous for her gypsy/witchy/bitchy charms.



I'm gettin' tipsy, i hope she reads cocks like a gypsy..