Reasons why I love YouTube part whatever

Funny how a video can sell you on a song you'd previously dismissed as merely aiight, innit? It was always gonna be an impossible task for Ezale to find original production which equals that of the Larry Smith and DJ Mustard classics he'd jacked in 2013, but the modest slap of I Ain't Trippin' Off Nothin' sounds so much more tremedo when paired with moving images of him in the midst of the worst comedown of his life before his mind rewinds back to the night before where he's Thizzfacing around the function like some Phunky Phat Graph-X-ized hybrid of Jackie Chain & Animal from The Muppets.

Ezale - I Ain't Trippin' Off Nothin'
(From YouTube; 2015)


Hold tight all the Oakland rappers tryna chirpse lasses who're more interested in meetin' Sage The Gemini.

Late pass!

Hott Headzz - Hmmm
(From YouTube; 2015)


A Chicago hit with 5 million views and counting ya host was oblivious to the existence of until Drake mentioned it as another example of 2015 viral-bait with bars on my post about Lil' Twon & Playa Gator's Bruh remix, Hmmm by Hott Headzz is what woulda happened if Hot Stylz remade Juvenile's Ha with lyrics about eatin' ass like a variety of edibles in the style of Lil' Herb & Lil' Bibby. These lads get a pass on actin' like rimmin' is still some shocking act of kinkiness, but rappers need to step their fetish game up in 2016 - go eat the placenta like groceries or go home.

Just sayin', bruv # 13

If there's one thing millennials have got right, it's their contempt for Star Wars. This is, after all, a mediocre franchise with one decent movie to its name which initially existed to sell toys to kids and only exists 37 years later to sell tie-in tat to '70s baby menchildren inflicting their childhoods on their own kids. Moreover, this is the franchise which single-handedly ended the wildest decade of American cinema and helped birth everything terrible about Hollywood post-1980: sequels, prequels, reboots, redubs, rejigs, movies that are composite sketches of other movies, movies by Kevin Smith.

There are, in fact, only 2 minor positives to emerge from the whole toxic debacle of Star Wars. The first is Carrie Fisher as an 80s equivalent of Liz Taylor in Cleopatra, the second is Max B saying "Luke I am your father!" as he mercilessly clowned Hell Rell & his mum on French Montana's Cokedog Millionaire DVD. The Wave >>>>> The Force:

Martorial elegance # 84

When Papoose has swapped his oversized fitted cap for a fedora you know the Drydick Rando-ification of rap music is officially underway. F**k a Hoop Dream, I am way under the brim:

Fat Joe walks up to Papoose and asks him "what's your favourite album of mine?" The perma-sullen faced Papoose mulls it over for 5 seconds and then replies "JLS One's Envy!"

Kiss of death like I'm Ernest Baker?

2015 was the year we first experienced just how disastrously a Drake cosign could backfire, but I ain't even mad at The Canadian for vanting to zuck Nef The Pharaoh's blood. Fangs ain't what they used to be in the music industry for yer budding regional stars, so if Count Drakula wants to take a bite out of Nefidelaphante then it's A-okay with me as long as Nef's music finds its way into more radio playlists and Aubrey Lugosi keeps his dulcet whines away from Big Tymin', Michael Jackson, and Come Pick Me Up.

Keep Drake's vocals away from Nef's grotty sex-jam Boss Me too - the world's an unpleasant enough place as it is right now without being subjected to bags of sand-raps from a bloke who drinks bags of milk.

Rap songs that aren't on YouTube but really should be # 15

Back in the 80s, Schoolly D recorded 3 separate songs all with the title Gangster Boogie: there's his middling electro-rap debut single from 1984, Gangster Boogie II from his mediocre 1988 LP Smoke Some Kill, and Gangster Boogie from his 1989 magnum opus Am I Black Enough For You?. Naturally it's the best song of the trilogy that you can't currently find on YouTube... or any other streaming service for that matter - them crackas still aren't playin' fair at Jive!

Schoolly D - Gangster Boogie
(From Am I Black Enough For You? album; 1989)


If Vine had existed in 1990, Gangster Boogie probably woulda been the soundtrack to hundreds of clips where people reenacted scenes from King Of New York. 1:03 to 1:29 gotta be a prime backing track for your best Jimmy Jump strut to.

Generic list post: 2015 late pass edition

Annual list of great rap songs I either discovered this year or finally had an epiphany with. Let's quickly gloss over the fact that I've paid money for MP3s by SPM and Big Lurch during the past 12 months and get to the geographical nitty gritty: northern California seems to have the most fruitful back catalogue in rap according to my current tastes, whilst the year's biggest surprise was finding a handful of gems hailing outta the tri-state area because I'd become stupid enough to think I'd heard every notable N.Y rap song made between 1979 and 2015; being proven wrong has never felt so right.

Rated X - Rated X Is 2 (1990)
Coolio (Da Unda Dogg) - Jackin' (1991)
Greyson & Jasun ft. Slick Rick - Get Bizzy (1991)
The Bomb Squad ft. Billy Loose Screws - Illegal Shit (1992)
Latino Velvet - Raza Park (1997)
AZ ft. Jermaine Dupri - Rock Me (Hey AZ So So Def Mix) (1998)
Jiggs & Cheeks - Hustle Til I Die (1999)
Tim Trees - Bank Roll (2000)
SPM ft. Baby Beesh - Oh My My (2000)
Slimm Calhoun - Characters (2001)
Rosco P. Coldchain - I Can't Help (2003)
N.O.R.E & Peedi Crakk - N*gga Rican (2004)
J.Stalin - Pop My Collar (2005)
Birdman - Neighborhood Superstars (2006)
Bailey & J. Valentine - Go Dumb (I'm Sprung Bay Area remix) (2006)
3 Deep - Say What I Wanna Say (2008)
HD Of Bearfaced - Payday (2010)
Alley Boy ft. Ty Dolla $ign - RNGM (2013)
Junglepussy - Bling Bling (2014)
Nef The Pharaoh - Bitch I'm From Vallejo (2014)
Fetty Wap ft. Monty - 679 (2014)

By my calculations, I discovered 8 songs from this list via people on the internet so you're my dawg 4 life if you were 1 of them.

Fanatic of the B-side

'Ave a load of Superfuture's WHAT DID YOU WEAR TODAY? thread incarnate Jidenna spittin' the most poignant menswear bars since Husalah said "they never seen 'em in real life, I live a real life" on Gear. Let a one hit wonder remain a one hit wonder, but it's only good manners that every Hi Hater should be allowed a Role Model to play its position in the trenches.

"Now They Say "Jidenna Why you Dressin' so Classic??"
I Don't Want My Best Dressed Day In A Casket"

Jidenna - Long Live The Chief
(From YouTube; 2015)


Someone suggest what MIMS' equivalent of Long Live The Chief/Role Model would be if such a song even exists.