Martorial elegance # 68

Linked the Harlem World performance of Cali Chronic on Soul Train in the comment section a few weeks back, but it pro'lly deserves its own edition of Martorial Elegance due to Loon's oversized FUBU Canadian tux' and Blinky Blink's boxy all-white outfit, which is the missing link between Ma$e's get-up in the Been Around The Water video and Chopper's infamous suit :


White jacket, white pants, you think it look like Spade'! White jacket, white pants, we think it look mad NBA!

All is forgiven, Trinidad Jame$

When the dust has settled and the history books are written, future civilisations of this mortal coil won't remember Trinidad Jame$ as ATLanta's shitty Tumblr version of A$AP Rocky who managed to sucker Def Jam into giving him a deal. His legacy will simply read "White popped up in the All Gold Everything remix video 3 years after Code Name changed the Rap landscape forever!"


Here at The Martorialist, we attribute Jeezy's fall from grace as he struggled to get Def Jam to release Thug Motivation 103 a consequence of two specific incidents : him selling out Slick Pulla's Trapublicans party to endorse Obama and him not allowing White to hop on the All White Everything remix. A couple of years later and we're still smarting over the spectacular missed opportunity of the latter, but should Jeezy treat us to a remix of R.I.P with White playing 2 Chainz's position then he'll be da man on our streetz again, especially if he introduces White's verse by saying "take these yams, White man!"

All these thugs luv Jeezy 'cause they know that he the truth, got a weed carrier the same colour as coconut milk juice.

Brief thoughts on Foxx's new Cold Blooded mixtape in the style of 3rd Person

Foxx ft. $hizz - 3rd Person
(From Don't Work, Don't Eat mixtape; 2012)


Ayo, nobody's told Foxx about Livemixtapes!
Foxx done fucked up and uploaded his new mixtape to Mediafire as untitled WMAs!
Now Foxx got Baton Rogue-Rap geeks like Fredo & ANU tryna decode his rap recitals!
Because Foxx just went and put his 'tape on Datpiff in MP3 when it still doesn't have any song titles!
Foxx's "popped a n*gga, I'm sweatin'" line on his All Gold Everything freestyle almost redeems the existence of Trinidad James!
And it sounds like Foxx got a Mouse On Tha Track feature on Track # 19 with-no-name!
Foxx is still really good when he rhymes about down 4 life 'hoodrats and dastardly dames!
But Foxx is definitely at his best when he's doing barbiturate-ballads and detailing how Baton Rogue is the backdrop for his paranoia and pain!

"If you don't like me, I'm okay with that
Just when you see me don't be givin' me no fake dap
If we supposed to be beefin' sunday, how the fuck we cool monday?
N*gga, fuck you, because all I know is one way"

Foxx ft. Lil' Cal - One Way
(From Cold Blooded mixtape; 2013)


FYI - I only know that the title of Cold Blooded's token Rappaz-have-feelings-too joint is One Way because it'd leaked previously, and the Lil' Cal character on this isn't the Lil' Cali of Dat Dick fame but the song's producer who Foxx clearly let spit his verse in exchange for a free beat. Real Foxx aficionados will be familiar with this practice already since it's just another example of $hizz Syndrome.

Did I post this before Thomas?

Your host Clarence C-Bo right chea had pretty much given up on Jacka over the past couple of years, which isn't necessarily a bad thing since he gave us around 8 years of great music beforehand and Ampichino picked up exactly where he fell off, but he has my attention again with this cut. A Bird Money song (I think he's Young Bossi's weed-carrier, right?) in name only, essentially, this is the first Mob ballad from the third instalment of Jacka & Ampichino's Devilz Rejectz trilogy. Can you keep a stiff upper lip when Jack' sez his kids don't even have friends because they're never loyal? Shit, the kid Young Baresi right chea didn't even make it that far because I was tearing up right after the opening stanza :

"Hard to tell my daughter she got a brother with another mother
caught up in the lust so I probably never loved her"

Bird Money ft. Jacka & Ampichino - Don't Involve Me
(From The Book Of Bird Money : The Name Speaks For Itself album; 2013)


Pretty impressive how Bird Money's verse manages to cram in even more generic reference to the mafia than that hilarious movie-montage video for Mob Business by Ampichino, Freeze & Yukmouth did.

This forthcoming Eazy-E documentary looks interesting

Got my Eazy-Duz-It tape and I listened and I learned, saw the Real Muthaphuckkin G's video and I tried to grow a perm :


Wot no Tarrie B?????

Val Penis

God bless your unintentionally-homoerotic ass, Rap music, for having dudes listening to other dudes talking about their todgers in intimate detail :

Lil' Cali ft. Mystikal - Dat Dick remix
(From the upcoming Catch Up 2 My Campaign mixtape; 2013)


This new remix of Lil' Cali's Dat Dick which has been gaining traction outside of Baton Rogue and on t'internet over the past month is coo', especially Mystikal's whole Damn/Honey Ham/Candy Yams/Instagram/Birmingham/Man rhyme scheme, but you fools done lost your rabbit-ass minds if you think Mystikal is a better fit for the song than Mouse On Tha Track was since the original is pretty much the Aguirre, The Wrath Of God to Dick Look's Fitzcarraldo :

"Got her trickin' breakin' bread
I just break her back and make her do the stanky leg"

Lil' Cali ft. Mouse On Tha Track - Dat Dick
(From Against All Odds mixtape; 2012)


I guess that means Level's Dumb Dick remix with Mouse, Mystikal & Mz Trill would be the Cobra Verde?

They used to do it out on the porch

Well thank fuck for that; Alpoko Don has FINALLY released an album of all his on-the-porch freestyles so we can forget the Plugged In mixtape where he rapped over shitty Soundcloud beats ever happened :

Cop it on Bandcamp.

That's all I got today. Ayo, it's the kid Genial Harry GRODT signin' off.

Reasons why I hate Youtube # 1

Because frigging white ppl have now made it practically impossible to find any of the real Harlem Shake videos on there. Ay', somebody get Puffy on teh Twitter and tell him to bail the muthafuckin' deputy out of prison so he can dust his pistol off and go blast all these zany saltines who've participated in a faux-em Shake video over the past 18 days unless they study this compilation for 18 hours a day as penance :