Martorial elegance # 67

Shout outs to Jeezy & Gotti, Philaflava poster Yr Gangsta Conscience, the Surfer Girl LP by the Beach Boys, the Oi Polloi gear gawdz, and all the fellow soljas and soljarettes out there who've ever spilled peri-peri sauce on their white jeans :


♫ "He takes me to the soda shop wearin' white Levi's
at the record hop he's wearin' white Levi's
everywhere he goes he's wearin' white Levi's
and his tennis shoes, and his surfin' hat, and a big plaid Pendleton shirt" ♫

The Majorettes - White Levi's
(From White Levi's 7"; 1963)

Nobody beats the quiz

Are you the type of person who suffered a bad case of hemorrhoids sitting on the toilet trying to complete the crossword in The Source? Do you post on Rap message boards just to display your intimate knowledge of Boo Rossini's sex life and Eric B's appearances on WWF RAW? Here at The Martorialist we was like "me too", so whatchu get here is just a preview of our new quiz series, Rap-trivia geeks - we see you!

This first Martorialist pop quiz is all Boosie everything and strictly 4 the more erudite Baton Rogue-Rap aficionados out there. Answer all ten questions correctly and then FLEX your Rap internet bragging rights afterwards on some "as we walked through the crowd they threw bills in the air" type shit because we're all out of prizes right about now bar half a bottle of hemp seed oil that's a year out of date if any of y'all want it? Earn that shit below :


1. What was the name of the album C-Loc and Boosie were supposed to drop as a duo around 1999/2000 before C-Loc got locked up?

2. Although Young Bleed is credited as appearing on Boosie's Cold Blooded it's actually another Concentration Camp Rapper. Name him.

3. Which Louisiana ex-Rapper did Turk & Mel shoot in the face after they caught him bootlegging TRILL ENT. releases at his record store in Baton Rogue?

4. Complete the following lyric : she call me, she cryin', "Boosie I'm pregnant!" ____ ______ ___ ___ ____ ___ ___ ________ _______ ____ _____ __ ____ _____

5. Which song from Ghetto Stories did I Smoke, I Drank originally begin life as an unofficial sequel to?

6. Name both Boosie videos Marlo Mike makes a cameo in.

7. On which song does Boosie interpolate Juvenile's Pimpinabitch?

8. In Ghetto Stories - The Movie, how many times does Boosie say the word "FUCK!" during the first scene he appears in?

9. Which inseparable cartoon characters are Boosie and his 40-glock like?

10. Once Boosie gets out of prison, what's the likelihood he's gonna record a shitty positive album with his Rapping pre-pubescent daughter before he records a reunion album with Webbie?

Martorial elegance : Percy Miller's balaclava dilemma edition

Louie V Mob - Dope Case
(From New World Order mixtape; 2013)


Lovin' this joint from Percy's much-anticipated Louie V Mob 'tape since it goes buck, P arguably does Fat Trel better than Fat Trel currently does Fat Trel and blah blah blah, but, boy-oh-boy, king Miller sure could use some of Shawn Brauch's artistic alchemy right now; how's he gonna go from being in a trio of flaming skeletons wearing balaclavas on the classic Tru 2 Da Game cover to being in a trio of regular dudes wearing balaclavas with crappy No Limit screenprints that'll probably crumble off after one wash on the cover of this comeback mixtape?

Martorial elegance : NWA edition # 3

One time I was on the train wearing a COMPTON beanie when some angry black dude called B-Dot approached me all like "why you wearin' that, bruv?" I got away with him not calling me a cultural tourist after I told him I was "just a fan of that Bill bloke from True Blood". Could a white girl with an N.W.A tramp-stamp get away with it so easily if she were in the same scenario? Over to you, Brian:

Alpoko Don's laugh >>>>>>

Phew, Alpoko Don has gone back to tappin'-on-table-top basics after his mixtape-over-Soundcloud-beats debacle! But why did he pretend he was going to prison for 8 years when he's still recording new videos, why have I been averaging a couple of hundred of hits per day for him over the past month when the height of his viral buzz was last summer, how does he manage to use a "yo the subject of my song is like a woman" extended metaphor on Street Life without me wanting to travel back in time and rip Common's tongue out before the I Used To Love H.E.R studio session?
Alpoko Don - Street Life
(From Youtube; 2013)


Doin' it on the porch >>>>>>> doin' it in the park

Baton Rogue ain't got no luv 4 Cypress Hill?????

DJ B-Real ft. Mouse On Tha Track - It's Easy
(From Pay Da Producer Volume 1 album; 2013)


So the only DJ B-Real you need to pay attention to in 2013 is Trill's in-house producer who works as the K-Def to Mouse On Tha Track's Marley Marl. Only he's another producer/Rapper like Mouse so I suppose that makes him the Daz to Mouse's Dr Dre instead? Work that analogy out for yourselves and just know that the two gentlemen have recorded a song together on B-Real's first proper release which sounds like what would happen if Mouse got all up on the records of that Baton Rogue Heavy Metal band who were all up on the Boosie Justice Facebook page posing last year :

Generic list post

20 great songs from 2003 which weren't the Ignition remix or featured on Get Rich Or Die Tryin' :

The Diplomats - Dipset Anthem
Lil' Boosie & Webbie ft. Pimp C - Finger Fuckin'
David Banner - Cadillac On 22s
Ghostface ft. Jadakiss - Run
Mac Dre - Dipped When You See Me
Freeway ft. Peedi Crakk - Flipside
Tragedy Khadafi - Neva Die Alone Part 2
Baby ft. The Clipse - What Happened To That Boy?
Juvenile - Numb Numb
Gang Starr - Sabotage
Blaq Poet - Poet's Comin'
Three 6 Mafia ft. Lil' Flip - Ridin' Spinners
T.I - Rubberband Man
King Geedorah ft. Mr Fantastik - Anti-Matter
Ludacris ft. Shawnna - Stand Up
Scarface - Dirty Money
The Federation ft. E-40 - Hyphy
Killer Mike ft. Big Boi & Sleepy Brown - A.D.I.D.A.S
Bubba Sparxxx - Jimmy Mathis
Black Moon ft. Sean Price - Looking Down The Barrel

Brief thoughts on Juice by Chance The Rapper

Wise Intelligent aside, the only thing worse than British ppl rhyming in faux-American accents is American ppl Rapping with faux-Jamaican inflections :

Chance The Rapper - Juice
(From Acid Rap mixtape; 2013)


Kinda envy you dudes who can listen to Juice and think "this is a fresh and interesting Rap song for 2013!" because on the two occasions I've tried to bump it this afternoon I've been mentally bombarded with petrifying crazy flashbacks of Mindbender Futurama's F.A.I.L :

Mindbender Futurama - F.A.I.L
From the 8th layer of Hell; 2008)