Master P's version of the trademark Rick Ross grunt ad lib >>>>

I got questions like Percy Miller on the Tru 2 Da Game intro :

1. Doesn't it warm your cockles to know that P can vanish from the Rap game for years, reappear, and not miss a trick in re-imagining whichever Gang$ta-Rappers are currently popular in his own inimitably eccentric image like it's 1992 - 1998 all over again?

2. Post-RealN*ggaTumblr, can we all agree that the only good things to come out of A$AP Rocky's career are the Trilla instrumental and the re-emergence of P and No Limit?

3. How'd I manage to completely miss I Ain't Feelin' That until yesterday when I've kept abreast with everything else P has dropped over the last year or so from the TMZ : Too Many Zeros, the joint with Game, and all those recent tracks with Fat Trel & Alley Boy?

4. What's gonna infuriate Rap purists more : the first dope Primo beat in years having Master P rhyming on it or I Ain't Feelin' That right chea being better than anything on that milquetoast new Big Boi album?

"Don't ask me why I'm doin' it 'cause, bitch, I'm so real
got bananas for the monkeys, pull 'em out and let 'em peel"

Master P ft. Louis V Mob - I Ain't Feelin' That
(From the internet/Uptown Veteran mixtape; 2012)

Just sayin', bruv # 4.5

Two unpopular opinions for the weekend : Mr. Eon had a better Rap voice than Kendrick Lamar, and the revamped version of One By One from the Smut Peddlers album is the second best thing Cage was involved in after 54 :

Smut Peddlers - One By One
(From Porn Again album; 2000)

More rapist defending of Das Racist by SPIN; possible racism too

Did all y'all catch Julienne Shepherd accusing Will Staley of vague misogyny on Twitter last week after he casually asked what Das Racist's hypeman who dates a music magazine editor is going to do now his group have split up? Looks like this is the payback for 30 odd years of sexism in Rap music, folks : a female critic who puts up with a sleazebag rapist boyfriend in order to further her journalism career complaining that anyone who dares to point out Das Racist owed their entire success to her and her SPIN street team jabronies is on a par with domestic abuser Justin Lee Collins.

Never fear, though, lads, cads, bounders, love-rats and Rap Game Sid The Sexists, because Grip Plyaz has returned to restore the misogyny levels in Rap music with an amazing new song which reduces the women in his life to only being memorable by their hips and arses over a beat which goes duu-duu-duu-duu and dee-dee-dee-dee-dee :

"Shawdy superbad with a stupid frame
ass off the chain
y'know, wasaname?"

Grip Plyaz - Wasaname
(From Purp, Wind & Fire album; 2012)


More importantly, have all y'all noticed SPIN scribes like Brendan Sodemberg and Charles Aaron deriding Mystikal as an "unrepentant shithead", an "awful person", and "a mentally unstable, criminally violent, and desperately fucked-up individual" at the same damn time as they pen heartfelt eulogies to Das Racist, which not only gloss over the rape allegations towards them but also paint them as a trio of misunderstood swell guys?

Your humble author right chea wouldn't dare suggest that there's an undercurrent of mild racism present in SPIN's coverage of Rap music, but according to Soderberg and Aaron a black rapist who's paid his debt to society for taking part in a rape = vilest person since Hitler, while their slightly more exotically ethnic rapist buddies in Das Racist who are yet to be convicted on sexual assault charges = salt of the earth dudes who wouldn't hurt a fly.

As Prince nearly once said

This is what it sounds like when androids cry :



King Louie - More Bandz
(From Drilluminati mixtape; 2012)


Obviously, the most exciting thing about the new King Louie mixtape is that we're finally allowed to talk about Band Nation without whispering, but mixtape climax More Bandz is also pretty special since it sounds like heartbroken cyborgs crying over being dumped by the White Witch of Narnia. Or sumfink.

So, anyhoo, has Shy Glizzy officially just become Noz's riposte to David Drake's Chief Keef in their D.C vs. Chicago Rap beef then?

Poot-poot

Thank you, tastemaker Noz - @$$ On The Internet and Leggings Song from Dormtainment's Broke and Famous album are very much relevant to this blog's interests, and their earlier hit Fart In Front Of Me is some reality-Rap, I really go through it!!!!

"It might smell bad, but it feels so good
your fart in the morning gives me morning wood"

Dormtainment - Fart In Front Of Me
(From We're Not Rappers But We Rap mixtape; 2010/Youtube; 2011)


Can we get a Mic Terror X Dormtainment collabo ASAP, plz?

I can do dat

Proudest Martorialist achievement of 2012? Inspiring the O.G Boom-Bap dinosaur blog don Robbie to quote DB Tha General lyrics on teh Twitter!

What, you ain't know ya boy Paul Robbin' Son right chea and Robbie go back like Harold Bishop and Lou Carpenter? The Rap internet is like Lassiters and most of these dudes are just rentin' rooms in our hotel, motel, holiday inn.

Aussie soap-related Rap puns time : ErinsDorrough, Toadfish RebecChi Ali, Joan A$AP Ferguson, Prisoner Celly Cel Block H, Summer Ay Bay Bay, Thuns & Daughters.

Obligatory best Rap songs of 2012 list

Year-end lists are the only time you ever want to be early to the party so here's to 2012 AKA the year which gave us a critically acclaimed album by a Rapper who I found practically unlistenable on his song with Gunplay, the year which has still yet to give us Husalah's customary one great song per annum, and the year I'm gonna humbly take credit for Katie Got Bandz's success and Das Racist's break-up. This was also the year which finally presented me with a few Rick Ross solo joints I like since they don't sound like mock-Jeezy or pastiches of American Gangster-era Jay-Z, and which gave the world a great Chief Keef song I never want to hear again due to its terrible G.O.O.D Music remix with KanYe's unintentionally hilarious Junior Reid vocal samples and Jadakiss' ridiculously silly Christian Bale as Batman voice.

So, these are the songs that've rocked my world in 2012. Can't be arsed separating them into singles and album or mixtape cuts + loosies this year since so few of the singles I like become hits nowadays, and, as ever, la règle du jeu are one song per artist and no order of preference.

A-Mafia - Realest N*gga In My City
Fam-Lay - Clap Clap
Ampichino & Young Bossi ft. Yukmouth - Runaway
Gunplay - Jump Out
Rick Ross - High Definition
Mic Terror - Rodney King
Chinx Drugz ft. French Montana - I'm A Coke Boy
Coke Boyz ft. Stack Bundles - Tap That
DB Tha General - Don't Worry
Alpoko Don - Get My Paypa, Dog
Killa Kyleon & Mouse On Tha Track - Freddy Krueger
Mouse On Tha Track - Raise A Finger
Foxx - I Wonder
$hizz & Foxx ft. Webbie - Send Ya Hit Man
Lil' Phat - Countin' Money
Troy Ave - I Know Why You Mad
Clyde Carson ft. The Team - Slow Down
TREE - Sunday School
Young Giftz ft. TREE - Nino
$tarlito - Clap For Him
Travis Porter - Ballin'
E-40 ft. Cousin Fik - Wasted
Cousin Fik - Knocka N*gga Down
DJ Paul - Cocky
N.O.R.E - Kenny Powers
Skip ft. Wacko - Bandana
Future - Trending Topic
Nicki Minaj ft. 2 Chainz - Beez In The Trap
Jackie Chain - So Throwed
Feva ft. Husalah & Franchise - Handsome
Dubb 20 & Husalah - Been A While
Katie Got Bandz - Hittaz Only
King Louie ft. Shorty K - Hitta Shit
Roc Marciano - We Ill
Alchemist ft. Roc Marciano - The Turning Point
NhT Boyz - Freeway
Gucci Mane ft. Rocko - Plain Jane
Frenchie ft. Trick-Trick - Jack Shit
Bo Deal - N*gga Rich
Nas ft. Mary J. Blige & DJ Hot Day - Reach Out
Drumma Boy ft. 8Ball & MJG - Smokin' On That Loud
Treal Lee & Prince Rick ft. Ace Hood - Transform
Max Minelli - Safe Place
Kevin Gates - Radio
TKO Capone ft. RiFF RaFF - Lil' Mama I'm Sorry
Rich Kidz - Never Did
Lil' Durk ft. Fredo Santana - Wild N*ggas
Problem - Trippin'
Ty Dolla $ign - My Cabana
GLC ft. Raheem Devaughn - Cathedral
DG Yola - Ain't It Funny
Black Rob ft. Snaggapuss & Sadat X - Can't Make It In N.Y remix
J. Stalin - The Molly Song
Lil' Cali - Me And My Thugs
Diamond ft. Jackie Chain & Juicy J - At The Bar
Short Kidd - The Mafia
LoveRance ft. 50 Cent, IamSu! & Skipper - UP! remix
IamSu! - Two Eleven
Show Banga ft. Kool John & IamSu! - Party Ain't A Party
Fat Trel - Swishers & Liquor
HD ft. Lil' Rod - Pursuit Of Happiness
Beanie Sigel - Kush Dreaming
Krypto ft. Beanie Sigel, Freeway & Axion Jaxion - Black Tie Affair
Mystikal - Hit Me
Philthy Rich - 3 Bitches At The Same Time
Game ft. Master P - HVN4AGNGSTA
Grip Plyaz - Wasaname
Sasha Go Hard - Why They Mad?

The Alpoko Don mixtape is appalling

The Rapper with the ultimate less-is-more m.o could've simply vanished leaving us a handful of great recordings on some 4-2 Tha Dome type shit, but dude had to go and fuck his whole legacy up by dropping a mixtape where he rhymes over the blandest, most mosquitoes-shagging-on-a-sheet-of-paper soundin' ass beats you've ever heard which completely nullifies everything that made Get My Paypa, Dog and All I Need so unique and appealing in the first place.

"WHAT A BITCH!"