Hey internet, here's your Alpoko Don MP3s!

Since I'm in need of some good karma tonight and my Alpoko Don post stays gettin' steady hits from people searching for MP3s of Get My Paypa, Dog and All I Know, I thought I'd upload them both since nobody else on t'internet has seen fit yet and his mixtape still hasn't dropped. Get them shits here :

Alpoko Don - Get My Paypa, Dog
(From Youtube; 2012)



Alpoko Don - All I Know
(From Youtube; 2012)

Chinese Foxx

In a bid to further transform this site into the web's 7th best destination for 10th hand gossip about Trill ENT., here's another joint from the latest Foxx mixtape. This one's called Shut Up and it sees the Rap Game Blakey from On The Buses casually ripping strips off the former Concentration Camp mk.2 member Young Ready :

Foxx - Shut Up
(From Foxx Mayweather mixtape; 2012)


Deets by the pound : Shut Up is a reply to I Do What I Want To and details how Young Ready ended up with egg on his face after bragging about a homicide he hadn't committed and... look, I'm a white guy from Europe wearing Sperrys and eating french onion soup from Waitrose as I type this - I know as much about the machinations of the Baton Rogue Rap scene and how Young Ready was treated in jail as you do. Foxx wins this one unless Young Ready is prepared to take it back to the glory days of 2005 - 2009 by snatching Foxx's chain and then posing with it on camera alongside his goons à la this classic :


Favourite thing about this video has to be that the masked goons think Hell Rell's Streetz Gon' Love Me is called Streetz Don't Love Me; poor Ruger couldn't even catch a lucky break when J.R Writer was the victim.

Get yo' Foxx off

So, you've just downloaded the Rap Game Dustin Hoffman in Dick Tracy's latest mixtape Foxx Mayweather and you're unsure which song to start with : the intriguingly titled Put Yo' Pussy On The Phone? One of the tracks with $hizz that'll hopefully replicate how good they sounded together on 3rd Person? The Gold Mouth Dawg remix? Nah, homie, get yo' mind linear and head straight for the opening trick Straight Pit :

Foxx - Straight Pit
(From Foxx Mayweather mixtape; 2012)


The object of Foxx's affections in this song is a Pit because she's an independent ratchet-ass hoe who'll punch a bitch, whup a bitch, stomp a bitch, jump a bitch, and when she has something on her mind she ain't gonna mumble, bitch, so this is the point where you're allowed to think laterally and imagine that the song's muse is a Pit in the Odd Squadian sense of the word too. SCHWING!

Why duz rapperz call weed "loud" lol

Smokin' On That Loud by Drumma Boy with 8Ball & MJG came and went without so much as a Duncan Cooper or Sam Hockney-Smith reblog on The Fader when the weather was still damp and grey earlier this year, but I've pro'lly listened to it more than anything on the last 8Ball mixtape so let's see if it makes a little more sense to all y'all now that the weather's, um, windy and grey with occasional outbreaks of sun.

Drumma Boy ft. 8Ball & MJG - Smokin' On That Loud
(From some Drumma Boy mixtape I assume?; 2012)


Personally, I'll take this over any of the similar efforts Curren$y or Wiz have dropped in the past couple of years, especially since the producer Kacey Khaliel gets far more out of that Voyage To Atlantis sample than Cardo did on Mesmerized. This whole sound is what Driz' Markie likes to call Yacht-Rap, but Smokin' On That Loud is a tad more intimate and exotic than that so I think it qualifies as a Bubble Bath-Rap classic alongside Camp Lo's Material, Porno Muzik by Max B and, of course, DJ Quik's entire rhythm-al-ism CD.

It's a total fallacy that smoking weed has ever sounded as kewl and sexy as songs like Smokin' On That Loud, though, since it's a filthy past time for braindead troglodytes which can be neatly summed up by this song by deplorable cracka-ass-cracka Reggae band Tribal Seeds.

Is there anything more depressing than the major label Rap remix in 2012?

A better question would be, has there been a single great major label Rap remix since 2007 gave us a triumvirate of classics in the Wipe Me Down remix, the Pop, Lock And Drop It remix, and the Can't Tell Me Nothing ROC remix where Beanie and Freeway humiliatingly tucked into some serious humble pie just to get a little track-time with KanYe?

There's been a few dope indie personal faves in the years since like the the Polo remix, the Moon And Stars remix, the Man Up Band Up Remix and the Buck Nah remix, as well as some appalling indie ones like this Twitter-baiting bag of shite, but I'm drawing a blank on any major label ones from the past four years which aren't just back-scratching excuses in cutting cheques for Fabolous, Red Cafe, Swizz Beats, Snoop, Busta, Diddy, Wayne, Drake, Rick Ross, KanYe, 2 Chainz and various YMCMB/G.O.O.D. Music/MMG flunkies.

Any suggestions? Only song I can think of is the All White Everything remix, which most of all y'all would probably disqualify anyway since the only difference between the original and the remix is the appearance of a mercenary like Yo Gotti and it didn't even end up making the last Jeezy album.

I thought Jordans and links through from The Wire magazine was livin' it up

Off to see the Rapper who Kelis done fleeced tonight with Prince from Queens, Fritz from Harlem, and Seymour from Rochdale. I'd leave a happy man if he were to start with a medley of his verses from Live At The BBQ, Eye For An Eye, Verbal Intercourse, It's Mine and Show Discipline before launching into all the obvious Illmatic/It Was Written/noughties Salaam Remi single classics, but what my heart truly yearns for is to see him throw on a stetson, bring out AZ and then treat us to a rendition of Phone Tap that's eerily similar to this late 90s live performance from, um, some TV show that I'm unfamiliar with :


(And it really would be eerie since Half-A-Mill couldn't attend now he's, y'know, dead.)
Knowing Nas, none of that will happen and his set list will probably consist of 90% material culled from Hip Hop Is Dead, Untitled, his awful cod-Reggae Distant Relatives album with Ali Campbell from UB40's son and whatever his forthcoming long player is called, before he wheezes thorough an encore of his shitty recent single with the Supercat sample which sounds like two different songs playing in unison on a MySpace page in 2006. Ayo Nas - at least let me up on stage during Street Dreams to do the "word is bond, son, I had that bitch down on my shit like DIS!" ad lib, eh?

Reasons why I love Youtube # 27

Two absolute humdingers from the vaults of one Don Cornelius esquire today. First up we have the elaborate stage musical performance of All About The Benjamins by Puffy, The Lox & Lil' Kim at the 1998 Soul Train awards. If, like me, you occasionally find yourself wondering what a Bad Boy revue in Vegas would look like then here's a 2D approximation of our fantasy, complete with the requisite dance-breakdown where Puffy flaps about with all the rhythm of a toddler who has fire-ants in his slippers :


And then we have Elton John belting out Bennie And The Jets on Soul Train in 1975 whilst dressed as the eponymous evil hobgoblin from the Leprechaun movie franchise. Apparently Elton Da Sensei beat David Bowie by a few months to be crowned the first saltine to ever appear on t'train, and the clip is relevant to this blog's interests since Bennie And The Jets would later go on to be covered by Biz Markie and Mi Uzi Weighs An Elton pushes keys like ______ (<~~ insert generic Clipse punchline about tinkling the ivories here) :

Cobraswag & The Martorialist - #1 in your top 2

Nyquil gon' make me a star, I'ma make him a million, together we invadin' the building with a mix which'll take you on a 45 minute musical odyssey no man is safe from. It's all here : Louisiana Rap singles, Egyptian Lover ballads, 80s pop staples by Blancmange and INXS, slept on Mac Dre cuts with Dubee, 80s Chicago House classics by Maurice Joshua and Phuture, Danny Brown's dalliance with Swag-Rap, secrete bonus songs from deluxe Depeche Mode box set bootlegs, Carl Craig alias projects and a bunch of other certified jams we deemed appropriate for inclusion.


~~> Cobraswag & The Martorialist present : We're In Your Mix <~~
(A mix by Nyquil & Blogota Rich)



1. Webbie - Wipe Me Down remix (Intro)
2. Maurice Joshua - I Gotta Big Dick
3. Clams Casino - Track 13
4. Depeche Mode - Ghost In Your House
5. Mac Dre & Dubee - Westwayz
6. Mac Dre & Dubee - Hands For Holding Grands
7. Phuture - Your Only Friend
8. Paperclip People - Oscillator
9. Mc Eiht - N*ggaz Make The World Go Around (DJ Screw mix)
10. Fam-Lay ft. Project Pat - Money Makin' Trick
11. Egyptian Lover - I Cry
12. Rebolledo - Aire Caliente
13. DJ Jimi - Where They At?
14. Blancmange - Living On The Ceiling
15. Inxs - Never Tear Us Apart
16. Danny Brown - Lincoln Continental
17. Ed Banger - Greel
18. LFO - We Are Back
19. Mouse On Tha Track ft. Lil' Trill, Foxx, Lil' Phat & Webbie - Turn The Beat Up
Me, I've got the mixing skillz of a dead jellyfish or Eric Barrier with mittens on, so Nyquil handled that side of things and added such brilliant flourishes as the Matthew Africa vocal sample at 40:01. Together we dedicate this mix to the gumbo cookers, the Bourbon Street hookers, the aluminum can pickers, the drug dealer ass-kissers, the pork chop eaters, the CYC dick beaters, the bet'cha I could beat'chas, and all the holy Cobraswag and Martorialist readers.

Hey, you can listen to it on Soundcloud now too :