The 2012 Kreayshawn, V-Nasty and A$AP Rocky all rolled into one

Ladeez, gentlemenz, dread-head drillaz, cashed-out azns and lady hittaz - meet Katie Got Bandz :


Katie Got Bandz - I Need A Hitta
(From teh internet; 2011)


Katie's the 2012 Kreayshawn because she happens to be a visually interesting chick Rapper on the cusp of viral success, making I Need A Hitta her very own Bumpin' Bumpin'.

Katie's the 2012 V-Nasty because she's a hoodrat Rapper of some kind of AZN descent who drops N-bombs like she's auditioning for a cameo on Efil4zaggin.

Katie's the 2012 A$AP Rocky because her Rap career is being carefully cultivated by a power-blogger since she's currently dating David from So Many Shrimp/The Fader, although you didn't hear that gossip from me, aiight?

Hop onboard now before she becomes the talk of Tumblr and you can even get to comment on her resemblance to the Eskimo girlfriend of Kiwi backpack-blogger/hip hop message board firecracker Jaz for the ultimate in 'net Rap-nerd in-joke kudos:


Trying to work out whether this is a beatjack of some song by the likes of Tyga or Ace Hood, or whether Chi-Town's Katie really has somehow managed to secure herself a Luger beat?

An A-Mafia compilation 4 u

Last year I tried to tell you about how A-Mafia is the latest descendent in the classic Harlem thug henchman-Rapper lineage which includes AZie & Pretty Tone Capone from MobStyle, Bloodshed & C.O.C-era Herb McGruff, and Hell Rell circa Diplomatic Immunity Volume 1 but all y'all bloggers just continued writing think-pieces about A$AP Rocky and posting Smoke DZA remixes. I'm not bitter, though, because sometimes youze guys just need a helpin' hand in the right direction, so here's a belated Xmas present in the form of a 10 song compilation of the best chinchilla-Mafia songs from the past couple of years I've zipped up as an introduction to those of you still snoozin' on the only Uptown Rapper with blood on the bottom of his ACGs :


~ A-Mafia : Illmafic ~

1. Ted Dibiase
2. My Side Of The Story
3. 2050
4. Road To The Riches
5. Wayne Perry
6. I Believe I Can Fly
7. Shine On (with Charlie Clipz)
8. Foldin' $100 Billz
9. Real Live Pro remix (with JR Writer & 2 Chainz)
10. 1000 Grams
~~> DOWNLOAD HERE <~~
All of these are legit songs bar 2050 and Road To The Riches, but both are essential to the 2010/2011 A-Mafia oeuvre and more than manage to do justice to their original sources. It'd be disingenuous to try and convince you that Godzilla-Mafia is a major Dipset talent, but he does share a particular trait with Cam and Max in their respective primes by possessing the uncanny ability to sound great over any style of production, thus he's one of the few N.Y Rappers to comfortably navigate Luger and ersatz-Luger beats without sounding like the Rap version of Guy Coma. Tie a pair of red underpants around your head and take a bite of that chicken with us million dollar whiggaz who've been goin' O.T since we came outta the womb.

I don't believe you, bitch, 'til you kill sumthin'

"Nu$$ie gots ta go, Nu$$ie gots ta go
that boy actin' bad, he gonna ruin us fa sho"

Nu$$ie - Score 5-0
(From Bad Azz album; 2006)


We're all about equilibrium here at The Martorialist, and so if the Louisiana D.A are going to use Boosie's own lyrics against him during his trial for Nu$$ie's murder then can't his lawyers then employ various lines from Nu$$ie songs as evidence that Nu$$ie was pretty much begging to have himself murked and have Boosie cop out to a plea of assisted suicide rather than the current homicide charge?

Anybody have the Bad Azz CD? It's not listed at Amazon or Discogs, nor does it appear to have ever uploaded it to the 'net bar a couple of songs on Youtube. By Anybody I'm specifically referring to you, Blast.

You're dead to me, bruh-bruh

Husalah hanging out with white ppl backstage at a Theophilus London show = that moment the mystique is forever obliterated a la the video of Beanie flashing Come Hither eyes at Peedi as he whispered sweet nothings in his ear or the clip of a black-eyed Cam'Ron wearing Daisy Dukes in the tiny backyard of his bungalow in Miami.

Ayo David SMS

How come you haven't got a Danny Bonaduce in old Dr Dre videos-esque cameo in the long-awaited Too Cool video then, bruv?

King Louie - Too Cool
(From Chiraq Drillinois mixtape; 2011)


Truthfully, the video is a tad lacking in both T&A and Louie's dancing for my liking, but here's hoping it does the job and doesn't vanish from the web after a couple of days like the Work Something clip did. Bring that shit back, DGainz!

King Louis

It's come to my attention that there doesn't seem to be a single picture of the Pen & Pixel album cover Shawn Brauch cooked up for Louis Theroux on the internet currently, so thought I'd rectify the situation since I'm experiencing somewhat of a creative drought in regards to blogging at the moment :

"A cat loving gangsta is what you are!"

2012 : the year in which Blogspot users officially become as lazy as the denizens of Tumblr?

Wanted dead or alive # 11 : I'm A Shop Shutter

Heard a snippet of a Baton Rogue stomper called I'm A Shop Shutter by The Shop Shutters on one of Frankie Tha Lucky Dog's Louisiana Pit radio show videos from 2010 which I've become moderately obsessed with, but the only other trace I can find of it online is a 2009 review of the 2007 CD it comes from on Frankie's blog with a link to a website to buy it that's currently a shut shop.

Anybody have any info' about the The Beginning CD by Shop Shutters? There's another couple of snippets of I'm A Shop Shutter in this R.I.P Big Markee video Frankie put together which make me go Whoa Na because it sounds so awesome but then leave me all tearful like Waaaah-Waaaaah because I'll probably never hear it in its entirity :

The teams that meet in Maf'

"'Cause A get doe, supply bricks for more cheddar
they say I flow like Nas mixed with Cormega"
A-Mafia - Road To The Riches
(From Youtube; 2011)


Thought I'd rip this from Youtube because it only seems to exist on there currently other than some stupidly pitched-up version of it that appeared on a DJ Cash Crook mixtape last week and I utilised the most primitive Youtube-to-MP3 software on my computer to give it the crackly feel of some old Doo Wop mixtape freestyle. Not entirely sure about that lyric above, though, since A-Mafia released more great songs in 2011 than Nas has made in the 7+ years since 2004, right?