Wednesday 1 June 2016

Generic list post: worst of the worst 2000 - 2015

A canon which deserves to be put before the cannons and blasted into smithereens. Consider this post a gauntlet laid down to the entire internet - I challenge thee to top this shower of shite with your own list of the worst rap song every year thus far this century.

Mos Def - Umi Says (2000)
El-P - Stepfather Factory (2001)
Jay-Z ft. Beyonce - '03 Bonnie & Clyde (2002)
Immortal Technique - Industrial Revolution (2003)
Mos Def - Anything from his Godawful rock album (2004)
Sage Francis - Escape Artist (2005)
KanYe West ft Keyshia Cole & Twista - Impossible (2006)
Jay Electronica - Eternal Sunshine (The Pledge) (2007)
Das Rapists - Combination Pizza Hut And Taco Bell (2008)
Drake ft. KanYe West, Lil' Wayne & Eminem - Forever (2009)
A$AP Rocky ft. A$AP Ferg - Get High (2010)
Dr. Dre ft. Eminem & Skylar Grey - I Need A Doctor (2011)
John Boy & Shawty Boy - Drug Dat Hoe (2012)
A$AP Ferg ft. A$AP Rocky - Shabba (2013)
Eminem ft. Sia - Guts Over Fear (2014)
Mystikal - Robert Dinero (2015)

Technically, Umi Says was released in 1999, but its sheer rottenness transcends such trivialities as time and space. Plus, it didn't become a single until 2000 so its inclusion is a slight stretch of the rules rather than an outright disregard for the lines and codes we obey like Big Noyd. Bloggers don't think that Mos Def's shit stinks then shit hits the fan, so I don't slip Ima shit postin' hot shit with my phone in my hand.


GGGGG said...

Needs moar Eminem

step one said...

Hero by Nas is pretty horrific from what I remember. Crack A Bottle by Em & Dre was very bad. I'd actually throw Roc Boys in this list too.

There's a lot.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Run This Town was definitely in contention for the 2009 pick.

Eminem had a top 3 worst song of the year every time he dropped an album throughout the noughties. Don't even have to IMHO that because it's Actual Factz.

Anonymous said...

Empire State of mind.

Can I also suggest that "Happy" is possibly one of the most loathesome songs in recent memory.

Dame Edna Beverage said...

This is the most important piece of writing to hit the internet in 2016, bar none.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...


step one said...

Christ, I must've banished Run This Town from memory. Most of the dead 2Pac stuff sucks but the Elton John one must be the worst. Think that was 02/03?

Unknown said...

It's pretty safe to say you can make this list strictly Nas and Eminem songs but still all these songs are solid choices for some of the worst rap music ever. Never heard the Mystikal one but it's a prime example of why ATL trap rap migos soundin bullshit has ruined the south.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Strongly considered Nas' Who Killed It as the 2006 choice, but then re-listened to it for the first time in a decade and was reminded that it's an excellent piece of unintentional comedy.

It's terrible, but at least it's entertaining.

So Solid Poo said...

Mark B & Blade's You don't see the signs <<<<<< everything on your list.

Also, almost everything put out by The Wu Tang Clan, Snoop Dogg, Canibus, Ja Rule, Cypress Hill, Wyclef, Ice Cube, LL Cool J and Xzibit since the turn of the millennium has been unlistenable.

turd butt said...

immortal technique belongs in high school and not on this list

dude plays an important role in society and he's not even wrong almost half the time, like besides the autistic UFO vaccines or whatever

yeah the rest of this shit is shit though

SE said...

The Jay-Z song that nicks "Smells Like Teen Spirit" strikes me as particularly bad. Maybe because it sounds like an Eminem song. Jay, Kanye, Eminem and Wayne had a lot of stinkers this past decade.

noz said...

stepfather factory is pretty awful but i'm certain there are more dire def jux cuts from the likes of mr lif and hangar 18 and such i'll let you find them same goes for sage francis v deep anticon

sometimes i think get high is the only good asap song dunno how it's even a contender coming from the year the year that also brought us rebirth, recovery, thank me later, the frat rap big bang and those insufferable b.o.b. crossover songs

some slaughterhouse would be nice you could viably fill this list with nothing but shady/aftermath/g-unit

who killed it is a classic see

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Slaughterhouse's Frat House was the original contender for 2012 before I remembered Drug Dat Hoe came out that year. Ferg's verse on Get High is the worst debut cameo of all time, imo. It's incredible to me that he's managed to get even worse since (see: that Rocky song which also featured Gunplay.)

I will not hear a bad word against Snoop this century since he's responsible for at least 4 classic singles and a handful of great deep cuts.

kprice45 said...

"Rollin 25 Deep"

fucking "A Little Samba" by Ugly Duckling

all of Electric Circus

French Montana 'Freaks'

'Diced Pineapples'

that song Gucci Mane did with Marilyn Manson

something by Jhest has to go on this list i think

kprice45 said...

also not sure this'll count but Ms Dynamite 'It takes more'

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

All UKHH is disqualified. That's a whole 'nother list of shite entirely.

Zwoop nation said...

Everything by Jay-Z, especially "Forever Young".

Wrath of Sadiq Khan said...

I don't like Sage Francis's Escape Artist at all (sounds like a spoken word performance with some electronica played over it) but to say it was the worst rap song of 2005? Harsh. Cage, Edan, Black Market Militia, C-murder, Will Smith, Public Enemy, The Gza & Muggs, Fatlip, Geto Boys and Blood of Abraham all dropped far-far worse.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Bushwick Bill's Dirty Bitch was the worst track on Geto Boys' The Foundation and yet it's still a gazillion times better than that Sage Francis song.

step one said...

Mr Hudson. Anything with Mr Hudson involved.

David said...

this house remix justifies bonnie & clyde imo

Presented by Jimmy Carr said...

Surprised you've even found the time to listen to Eminem in recent years! I stay well away. Did you like him in the SSLP/MMLP days?

03 Bonny and Clyde Jesus Christ. So bad I can't remember it.

Will it spoil the fun to suggest Umi Says isn't a rap song? Imma let you cook tho.

I'd love to see 20 more tbh. Fantastic list.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

That Eminem song was inescapable on the Freeview music channels for a while.

Andrew Barber said...

do the 90s next

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Speakin' of the 90s, loved your Death Row piece. 👍