Tuesday 21 July 2015

The top 5 worst rap songs of 2015 so far

Sorry not sorry 4 the hate.

1. Meow The Jewels - Meeowrly
Numero uno with a bullet because Meeowrly combines two of my personal bĂȘte noires: El-Producto and Cat memes. Never forget that Killer Mike insisted T.I. dump Alfamega from the Grand Hustle roster yet he has no problem working/touring with a noted snitch like El-P.

2. Post Malone - White Iverson
2015: the year America decided it needed a singing Milkavelli. It's now far to easy to take shots at A$AP Sham's dubious past, but White Iverson is a deserving and very much literal number 2 since it sounds like the sort of shite I'd have received in an email from some Wavery stooge back in 2010.

3. OB O'Brien ft. Drake & P. Reign - Scheming Up
As we've already established, OVO is an Islamic Canadian terrorist organisation using Drake as a trojan horse to establish OB O'Brien's comedy career in the U.S. Scheming Up was instantly eradicated from radio playlists the moment Drake's last album dropped, yet Abu Hamface O'Brien's nasally attempts at Jamaican patois still haunt me, you, and anyone else who had the misfortune to hear the song.

4. Yung Gleesh - My Dog
Deep in the bowels of Hell there is a special chamber awaiting the arrival of Yung Gleesh, his place there reserved on the strength of that time he raped an unconscious girl at SXSW 2015, and his making of ironic trap music for the Noisey U.S staff at the behest of his videographer manager who used Gleesh to weasel his way into shooting clips for Chief Keef and A$AP Rocky.

5. Migos - John Wick
Keanu's puppy died for this Poundland U Guessed It bluster of nothing? Give me more Zapatista luau party rap in the vein of Hannah Montana and YRN or GTFOH already.


SE said...

I love the hate. "John Wick" sounds like a parody of the Migos formula. Dyin to see the movie tho.

My pick: K Camp "Lil Bit"

J said...

Come back Will High all is forgiven

GGGGGGGG said...

Meek says Drake has ghostwriters.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Told you Abu Hamface is teh real brains behind OVO.

Habibi said...

Each and every one of these people should be eating wet towel in Guantanamo for the next 50 years for the terror they've unleashed on our ears.

Queezy said...

Gleesh should be at number one.

Anonymous said...

I hope OB gets ebola.

Pitchfork Mod Forum Snitch said...

Great post.