Tuesday 21 July 2015
The top 5 worst rap songs of 2015 so far
Sorry not sorry 4 the hate.
1. Meow The Jewels - MeeowrlyNumero uno with a bullet because Meeowrly combines two of my personal bête noires: El-Producto and Cat memes. Never forget that Killer Mike insisted T.I. dump Alfamega from the Grand Hustle roster yet he has no problem working/touring with a noted snitch like El-P.
2. Post Malone - White Iverson2015: the year America decided it needed a singing Milkavelli. It's now far to easy to take shots at A$AP Sham's dubious past, but White Iverson is a deserving and very much literal number 2 since it sounds like the sort of shite I'd have received in an email from some Wavery stooge back in 2010.
3. OB O'Brien ft. Drake & P. Reign - Scheming UpAs we've already established, OVO is an Islamic Canadian terrorist organisation using Drake as a trojan horse to establish OB O'Brien's comedy career in the U.S. Scheming Up was instantly eradicated from radio playlists the moment Drake's last album dropped, yet Abu Hamface O'Brien's nasally attempts at Jamaican patois still haunt me, you, and anyone else who had the misfortune to hear the song.
4. Yung Gleesh - My DogDeep in the bowels of Hell there is a special chamber awaiting the arrival of Yung Gleesh, his place there reserved on the strength of that time he raped an unconscious girl at SXSW 2015, and his making of ironic trap music for the Noisey U.S staff at the behest of his videographer manager who used Gleesh to weasel his way into shooting clips for Chief Keef and A$AP Rocky.
5. Migos - John WickKeanu's puppy died for this Poundland U Guessed It bluster of nothing? Give me more Zapatista luau party rap in the vein of Hannah Montana and YRN or GTFOH already.