The Poor Elementz: Wicked22

A new series dedicated to various 4 elementz survivalists polluting t'internet who make Dart Adams seem like one of the DGB guys. For doz who've slept, allow me to introduce Wicked22.

Who dat: quintessential REAL HIP HOP retard who looks like tubby Scott Storch if he were an extra in Dilated Peoples' Worst Comes To Worst video. Wicked22 is known for bragging he has a mammoth 'vinyls' collection, yet appears to have no more than 500 records maximum in the myriad of pictures he carpet bombs the internet with.

Greatest quotes: "For all you br0s asking if Black Jeff and Asian Jeff are my only ethnic friends, here's a spreadsheet which breaks down the races of the 37 people I count as actual close friends. These are the people who I would wish a happy birthday to and people who I'd help out if they needed my help. Those 37 friends are people who I pretty regularly keep in touch with, 12-15 of which I semi-regularly see and hangout with."

Key beefs: "gAY ass mainstream rap"; "fAGGIT ass nerd rap"; "gAY ass drumless rap"; "fAGGIT ass MP3s"; former UGHH.com CEO Adam "Quest" Walder.

Notable opinionz: doesn't so much have opinions as a handful of stockphrases he's been repeating ad nauseam for the last 15 years. Where A.C The Program Director's parochial backwardness can be explained by the head injury he suffered in the 90's, Wicked's myopic palilalia is the sewage pipe through which his Asperger's flows.

Other eccentricities: wearing t-shirts over sweatshirts; creepy fetish for AZN women; big craft beer enthusiast.

The Poor Elementz: A.C The Program Director

A new series dedicated to various 4 elementz survivalists polluting t'internet who make Dart Adams seem like one of the DGB guys. For doz who've slept, allow me to introduce A.C The Program Director.

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A post shared by A.C. The P.D. aka El Choppo (@acthepd) on Dec 15, 2018 at 11:24pm PST

Who dat: Wee Man from Jackass-looking L.A troglodyte who KRS One kicked out of the Temple Of Hip Hop for being too insane. A.C suffered some sort of severe head injury in the early 90s which somewhat explains his retardation.

Greatest quotes: "When 2Pac died I said to the homies ‘let's go get Ice Cube!!’"

Key beefs: KRS One; Ice Cube; people with "earbola"; Stones Throw Records; Robbie Unkut; anyone who doesn't subscribe to his patented Hip Hop Philosophy.

Notable opinionz: insisting race doesn't exist; declaring that Dooley O is this century's best rapper; claiming a club night is "not a real hip hop jam" if the DJ plays songs people already know; opining that producers aren't real unless they can indulge in an impromptu beatbox battle.

Claims to fame: calling up Jay-Z on The Wake Up Show and telling him he needs to "try harder"; making those REAL HIP HOP IS NOT ON THE RADIO t-shirts DJ Premier wears; bragging that he sleeps on top of his record crates; spamming the Unkut.com comment section for years.

Other eccentricities: thinks everyone should drive solar power cars; possible owner of the world's largest collection of 3/4 length cargo shorts.

Generic list post: Alas Smith and Choonz

The theory: gangsta rappers have done more to maintain Larry Smith's legacy than the entire grandstanding REAL HIP HOP preservation society. The proof: this list of Legit Slaps™ which sample, beatjack, or interpolate Larry's classic productions for Whodini, Run-D.M.C, and the Fat Boys.

Eazy-E - Boyz-N-The-Hood (1987)
Mac Dre & DJ Cee - Donkey Ain't Free (demo) (1989)
C-Bo - Play 4G (1994)
Spice 1 - Sucka Ass N*ggas (1995)
Dru Down - Can You Feel Me (1996)
Richie Rich - Ruff Neckin' (1996)
Mac Dre ft. Jay Tee & Beesh - Where We Dwell (1996)
Ice Cube & Master P - You Know I'm A Ho (1998)
The Delinquents ft. Too $hort - Are Back (1999)
Dru Down - In Jail (2008)
DB Tha General - Rockin' In My Blues (2010)
Mac Blast - 5 Min. Of Funk (2010)
Ezale - 5 Minutes Of Funktown (2013)
Ezale - Foreal Foreal (2014)
Young Devi D - Ain't No Question (2016)
Street Knowledge - Dru Down Flow (2017)
Yung Cat - Itz Like That (2017)
Discogs blinded me with actual factz: Thomas Dolby produced Whodini's Magic's Wand and then reused the riddim for one of his own B-Sides. Much like 5 Minutes Of Funk, Magic's Wand is another Whodini song ya host prefers as an instrumental.

Ya Life's On The Line

The Famous Amos I Bet U Won't challenge continues to hit new heights, quite literally in the case of his latest video where he's truck-surfin' like Teen Wolf (and in the rain on some The Dramatics type shit, no less.) If you ain't putting your own safety at risk for cheap laughs then get the f*ck off Instagram in 2018, IMHO.

A post shared by 🗣I Bet You Wont Famous Amos 😂 (@famousamos_sofunny) on Feb 23, 2018 at 4:04pm PST

Remember when Jacka recorded the best Rap song about rain since Rae & Ghost?

Homeboy, I'll make ya famous

Fuck breakdancing, Famous Amos' I Bet U Wont challenge videos are the official 4th element of Hip Hop kulcha now. Has any member of the Rock Steady Crew ever danced in a moving vehicle? No? Then I rest my case, y'honour.

A post shared by 🗣 Famous Amos I Bet You Wont 😂 (@famousamos_sofunny) on Jan 15, 2018 at 5:00pm PST

Fall back 4 elementz survivalists because breakdancing was only ever any good within the context of Style Wars. After that it's just a bunch of Japs, Krauts, and Brits rolling around on the floor together, gurning and grabbin' their nutz.

I don't Google Doodle on the paper!

Birfdays was the worst days, but we got posts for 4 Elementz survivalists when they thirstaaay. Celebrate Hip Hop kulcha's 44th born day with the best scene from the 2nd best documentary about what went down in the Bronx during 1973 - 1983. Brim fought the law and the law won, but at least he got to theatrically cross some train tracks wearing a pair of Star Trek shades to Jonzun Crew's Space Is The Place in the process.


Props to Kool Herc for not being a serial pederast who enjoys Kraut Techno or a scam artist who plays Blur's Song 2 in his DJ sets unlike his 2 fellow Bronx pillars of whatever the f*ck Hip Hop kulcha is supposed to be (a lighthouse luring retarded ageing Californian whiggas like AC Tha PD and Wicked22 to the shores of rap message boards?)