Wednesday, 19 December 2018

The Poor Elementz: A.C The Program Director

A new series dedicated to various 4 elementz survivalists polluting t'internet who make Dart Adams seem like one of the DGB guys. For doz who've slept, allow me to introduce A.C The Program Director.


Who dat: Wee Man from Jackass-looking L.A troglodyte who KRS One kicked out of the Temple Of Hip Hop for being too insane. A.C suffered some sort of severe head injury in the early 90s which somewhat explains his retardation.

Greatest quotes: "When 2Pac died I said to the homies ‘let's go get Ice Cube!!’"

Key beefs: KRS One; Ice Cube; people with "earbola"; Stones Throw Records; Robbie Unkut; anyone who doesn't subscribe to his patented Hip Hop Philosophy.

Notable opinionz: insisting race doesn't exist; declaring that Dooley O is this century's best rapper; claiming a club night is "not a real hip hop jam" if the DJ plays songs people already know; opining that producers aren't real unless they can indulge in an impromptu beatbox battle.

Claims to fame: calling up Jay-Z on The Wake Up Show and telling him he needs to "try harder"; making those REAL HIP HOP IS NOT ON THE RADIO t-shirts DJ Premier wears; bragging that he sleeps on top of his record crates; spamming the Unkut.com comment section for years.

Other eccentricities: thinks everyone should drive solar power cars; possible owner of the world's largest collection of 3/4 length cargo shorts.

21 comments:

The Martorialist raped me said...

If you're a tru 4.1 Elements believer, you can buy a download of one of his demo quality albums on bandcamp for the low-low price of $25: https://acthepd.bandcamp.com/

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Bayan Mongol 😂😂😂

Step One said...

Great stuff. Didnt he also broadcast an online radio station from what appeared to be a storage unit or something?
Look forward to the next installments.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

I'm sure you can guess who the next installment will be about.

Anonymous said...

El Choppo hahahaha

Rob Rebecci said...

Let's not forget this Five Mic Classic: https://www.discogs.com/Jess-The-Facts-AC-The-Program-Director-Philosophical-Science/release/12374303

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

On his IG he says Jess The Facts is a top 5 rapper right now.

Step One said...

Looked at his IG earlier and felt a bit bad for the guy but then I remembered his posts on Philaflava and what an arrogant dick he is.

Step One said...

Also loving that discogs listing. 1 has, 6 want, never sold. Added by AC himself with a ton of errors but even the pedant freaks that are Discogs mods haven't bothered to correct it.

d said...

Yes man, been waiting on this since you said your message boarder article got no takers. plz include the infamous “it was out of respect, something you wouldnt know a thing about” incident in the apropriate installment

Stupid Woman said...

Which legendary Hip Hop Character will be next to be immortalised in a Martorialist profile? My predictions: Filipino Frank, Will High, Spencer Kansa, The Ruf, Blade, Southpark Mexican, El P?

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

I was joking about doing a G.O.A.T rap message boarders article, but maybe I shouldn't have been because it could have brought Will High out of hiding.

Even Mindbender has sold more albums than A.C.

Anonymous said...

The hanging can of Krylon is killing me

supremeblaqsquare said...

I have absolutely no idea who the fuck this man is, but this one track I just now listened to made me feel that he might go for making a duo with that rap critic youtube guy now-i-rap-myself persona or getting signed to R.A. the rugged man

Pink C said...

Apparently he's also REALLY not down with whoever this guy Houseslippers is

Pink C said...

I could see myself spending a day over the holidays just going down the wormhole and browsing through this guy's thousands of opinions on IG but on the other hand that actually might not be a great use of time

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

DJ House Shoes is some Dilla flunkie. He did the scratching on my 2nd favourite Quelle Chris song which shits on A.C's entire life, natch.

d said...

Isn't houseshoes Mayer Hawthorne's dj name?

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Nah, completely different bloke.

Anonymous said...

I know that Sway/Hov clip you talkin about haha

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Make the music with your mouth.