Wednesday, 30 October 2019

Generic list post: October 2019


Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Drew Millard had one of the best top fives that BBC best Hip Hop songs poll thing. Is it time for a critical reevaluation of the Millardmeister?

2Pac - Letz Get It On (Ready 2 Rumble) (O.G version) (1996/2019)
Sada Baby - Lame (2019)
BandGang Lonnie Bands ft. ShittyBoyz - Simba (2019)
A-Mafia - Riding Alone (2019)
The Egyptian Lover - 5¢ Camel Ride (Long Version) (2019)

Other notables: stoked to see Open Mike Eagle's Single Ghosts finally getting blessed with a video; the challenge remix of Eatem's Whoop Sum turned out to be a better video than song; gave JPEGMAFIA's new album a spin and was reminded why I can't listen to ANY rapper who wears Doc Marten boots; was gonna peep Danny Brown's new album until I saw El-P appears on there which resulted in a flashback to the Godawful Huzzah remix; is 645AR's Bible & A K the birth of Eunoch-Rap?

Bonus beats deluxe: the best Rap songs of the 2010s, imho.

Monday, 28 October 2019

S/O to Giggs

If you're talkin' The Hardest™ then A-Mafia better pop up in your thoughts as an artist. And if you're talkin' The Martorialist then plz refer to our A-Mafia playlist on Audiomack. Here was ya host thinking that the G.O.A.T Harlem henchman Rapper was done & dusted after he got pinched for beak distribution earlier this year, but he's back like he never left to leave your speakers covered in red like a portion of chips.

"I'm just riding alone
In the armrest is where I'm hiding my chrome
I gotta lotta shit goin' on inside of my dome
Don't even feel safe when I'm inside of my home"


A-Mafia - Riding Alone
(From YouTube; 2019)



Bonus beats: Riding Alone is this Maferf*cker's first song since My Boy 4 years ago.

"I'm the 40th don with the gaudiest charm
Balled so hard in the streets n*ggas called me Lebron
Beef is surely upon, read my story in psalm
Kidnap your brother, your sister, your shorty, your moms"


A-Mafia - My Boy
(From YouTube; 2015)


Thursday, 24 October 2019

He's the hairy headed gent who ran amok in Project Blowed

"You post online and you haunt with that
You both dead and alive like a quantum cat"


Open Mike Eagle - Single Ghosts
(From Soundcloud; 2017/What Happens When I Try To Relax EP; 2018/YouTube; 2019)



Fresh for Halloween you (blood)suckers, there's now a video for that spooky Open Mike Eagle song with a longer lifespan than The Lost Boys. Since 2017 this song has returned to haunt me each Halloween like a poltergeist McRib, and I ain't too ghoul for school to not post it thrice now it's been brought back to life again on the visual tip like Amityville 3-D.

Related: if Michael Jackson is now too #problematic for pub parties then can Werewolves Of London replace Thriller as the Halloween Anthem Ne Plus Ultra™? Wolfman's got nards! He's also got way more bangers than an army of zombies.

Warren Zevon - Werewolves Of London
(From Excitable Boy album; 1978)



Yo son, I had crazy visions, check it out, BOOM: a JD's Ghostin' skit. "I ain't never been ghosted like that I used to do the ghostin'. OkCupid was mah spot!" etc.

Wednesday, 23 October 2019

Comme Detroit Garçons

"And I might just scam you, bro
Put a shell in his back - Michelangelo"


BandGang Lonnie Bands ft. ShittyBoyz - Simba
(From YouTube; 2019)



Via Ray Garraty. For a song that only lasts 2 and a half minutes, this track sure slaps with a lorra lorra synergy and packs a lorra lorra punchlines from the 4 lads involved. Now that's what I call Maximi-zing! More impressively, it even justifies the existence of Comme des Garçons' corny diffusion line with ShittyBoy BabyTron's "Play hoody on the only time that my heart gon' show" line. Perfect **Mic Drop** moment to end the song or wot?

Not quite my fave Detroit song of the month, mind. That'd be Sada Baby's 2k19 equivalent of LLYGMISTA innit.

"Choppa and a Glock the size of Andy Milanokas, n*gga
I sip lots of Wakie and my pockets got that gwop up in 'em
I dont f*ck with thots most of them blocked after my cock up in 'em
It's a buncha snakes up on your squad, how is you rockin with 'em?"


Sada Baby - Lame
(From YouTube; 2019)


Sunday, 20 October 2019

Martorialist Elegance: Make The Trap Say Too-Rye-AYE!

JPEGMAFIA sez: Come On Eileen!


Gave JPEGMAFIA's All My Heroes Are Cornballs album a listen and was instantly reminded why I categorically do not fuxwit Rappers who wear Dr. Martens boots. Much like septum-rings, Doc Martens are for baby-mommas and sweaty moshers, and I humbly opine that there should be no place for them in Rap music or The Culture™. Perhaps it's #problematic for some white wanker to suggest that contemporary black brehs who wear D.M boots are weirdo wrong 'uns, but the evidence stacks up like dirty dishes: Kid Cudi, Theophilus London, A$AP Rocky & his rapey m8 A$AP Bari, Ian Connor, Travis Scott, Chris Brown, Vic Mensa, and JPEGMEFIA. As Ice Cube coulda said - Irrefutable, baby!

What's gone wrong in the black community that it's now acceptable to dress like the worst sort of white ppl ever AKA crusties? Mans thought they were swaggy when really they were Swampy.

Friday, 18 October 2019

Once upon a time on the Rap part of YouTube...

Ice Cube ft. Lil' Russ - A Gangsta's Fairytale
(From AmeriKKKa's Most Wanted album; 1990/YouTube; 2006)



One of YouTube's first and best fan-made videos. So good, in fact, that it inspired another Cube fan to make a video for Gangsta's Fairytale 2 in 2009.

Ice Cube ft. Lil' Russ - A Gangsta's Fairytale 2
(From The Predator album; 1992/YouTube; 2009)



You, a square: Gangsta's Fairytale or Gangsta's Fairytale 2?

Me, a connoisseur: Lil' Russ or De La Soul's young'n Jeff?

Mack Daddy to the left of me, Baby Gangsta to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with youz.

Friday, 11 October 2019

The best Rap songs of the 2010s imho


Pour out a little Rumbullion for the decade of "Das Racist are important", "Nicki Minaj is the best Rapper alive", "RiFF RaFF is an artist we should take seriously outside of the TKO Capone songs he guested on", "Migos are better than The Beatles", "Young Thug is a human saxophone", "Travis Scott is the last Rockstar", "Joe Budden is an engaging multimedia personality with good opinions", and "Blueface is the best Rapper ever" versus "Blueface is the worst Rapper ever." On one hand, any decade where some insufferable c*nt like Drake can flourish was undoubtedly the worst decade of Rap to date. On the other hand, the 2010's was arguably the most diverse decade of Rap thus far. Truly, it was the worst of times, it was the best of times.

I helped the blog game, it ain't help me, I'm top 5 dead or alive and that's just off my post about Dozer's beef with Immortal Technique. Gimme a choo-choo train for the most badass tracks of the 2010s as according to ya host Messi Mart. Please believe this list has zero interest in Reflecting The Zeitgeist™ and is merely presented as a shrine to my own absolute favourite songs of the decade in one huge splurge of hyperlinx. It's lists like this which remind me that music bloggin' is basically DJing for people who can't be arsed learning how to DJ but still wanna inflict their taste on other people innit? The Martorialist is mah spot so I don't need any dry-eared randos tellin' me what songs I should have on my own damn list - take your suggestions, stick 'em in your own damn list, and keep it movin'.

Beeda Weeda - Bassrock Babies (O.G version) (2010)
Lil' Boosie - Top To The Bottom (2010)
Sean Price - Figure Four (2010)
Young Dro - Freeze Me (2010)
Curren$y - Michael Knight (2010)
Wiz Khalifa - The Kid Frankie (2010)
Dru Down ft. The Jacka - Hello Hello Hello (2010)
A-Mafia - 1000 Grams (2010)
Lil B - Good Morning (2010)
Young L - Young L-E-N (2010)
Roc Marciano - Ridin' Around (2010)
Gucci Mane - Normal (2010)
Waka Flocka Flame ft. Kebo Gotti - Grove St. Party (2010)
Soulja Boy ft. Gucci Mane - Pretty Boy Swag (Remix) (2010)
HBK Gang - She Ready (2010)
Travis Porter - Make It Rain (2010)
NhT Boyz ft. The Jacka - U Ain't From (2010)
$tarlito - Alright (2010)
Keak Da Sneak - Maxi Pads (2010)
Max Minelli - Louisiana Sky (2010)
Meek Mill ft. Young Chris - House Party (2011)
DB Tha General - Upgrade 'Em 2 (2011)
Kreayshawn - Gucci Gucci (2011)
Juicy J - Who Da Neighbors (2011)
LoveRance ft. IamSu & Skipper - UP! (2011)
Lady - Pussy (2011)
Bo Deal ft. Mello G Blanca - Safe Sex (2011)
Danny Brown - Lincoln Continental (2011)
E-40 ft. B-Legit & Stresmatic - Rear View Mirror (2011)
Mysonne - In Jail (2011)
Husalah - Da Mob (2011)
DJ Quik ft. Suga Free & Ty Dolla $ign - Nobody (2011)
Katie Got Bandz - I Need A Hitta (video mix) (2011)
Webbie ft. Lil' Phat - What's Happenin' (2011)
Rich Kidz ft. Young Thug - 100 Dollar Autograph (2011)
Sir Michael Rocks ft. Shorty K & Tris J - Too $hort Back (2011)
HD Of Bearfaced - 40 Glock USA (Remix) (2011)
Treal Lee & Prince Rick - Shoes Up (2011)
Tyga - Rack City (2011)
Fat Trel - Rolling (2011)
Ike Eyes - Blue Roxies (2011)
Lil' Phat ft. Mannie Fresh - Talk Some Mo' (2011)
Rich Boy - All I Know (2011)
Wooh Da Kid - I Prefer (2011)
Gunplay - Jump Out (2012)
Rick Ross - High Definition (2012)
Chinx Drugz ft. French Montana - I'm A Coke Boy (2012)
Mic Terror - Heaux Love Me (2012)
Fam-Lay - Clap Clap (2012)
Feva ft. Husalah & Franchise - Handsome (2012)
Jeezy ft. 2 Chainz - R.I.P (2012)
Ghost8800 - Sonic Boom (video mix) (2012)
Future ft. Casino - Karate Chop (2012)
Jackie Chain - So Throwed (2012)
Diamond ft. Juicy J & Jackie Chain - At The Bar (2012)
King Louie - Val Venis (2012)
Young Giftz ft. TREE - Nino (2012)
Clyde Carson ft. The Team - Slow Down (2012)
Alpoko Don - Get My Paypa Dog (2012)
Foxx ft. $hizz - 3rd Person (2012)
Mouse On Tha Track - Raise A Finger (2012)
Nicki Minaj ft. 2 Chainz - Beez In The Trap (2012)
Sage The Gemini - Red Nose (2013)
AZ - We Movin' (2013)
Lil' Wayne ft. 2 Chainz - Rich As Fuck (2013)
K Kutta - Lum Lum (2013)
Mystikal - Hit Me (2013)
DJ Mustard ft. Ty Dolla $ign & Joe Mo$e$ - Paranoid (2013)
Ezale - Foreal Foreal (2013)
Gzus Piece - Gimme That Cash (2013)
Project Pat ft. Juicy J - Never Be A G (2013)
ZMoney - Regular (2013)
Grip Plyaz - Ray Lewis (2013)
Young Thug - Stoner (2013)
Busta Rhymes & Q-Tip - Thank You (Kid Capri Remix) (2013)
P.Rico - Gladiator (2013)
Johnny Cinco - They Gave The Wrong Young N*gga Money (2013)
Sicko Mobb - Fiesta (2013)
Pablo Skywalkin' - All Facts (2013)
Boldy James - Moochie (2019)
Suga Free & Pimpin' Young ft. Nate Dogg - 15 Minutes To 5 (2013)
Z-Ro - Look Good (2013)
BeatKing - IONCAHH (2013)
Migos - Hannah Montana (2013)
Kevin Gates - Neon Lights (2013)
Speaker Knockerz - Lonely (2013)
Kap G - Fuck La Policia (2014)
J-Diggs - What Would Dre Say (2014)
YG - BPT (2014)
Fabolous - Lituation (2014)
TREE - Probably Nu It (2014)
Kid Ink ft. Usher & Tinashe - Body Language (2014)
Junglepussy - Bling Bling (2014)
K Camp - Oh No (2014)
Rae Sremmurd - No Type (2014)
The Jacka ft. Dru Down & Joe Blow - The President's Face (2014)
A-Wax - Trainwreck (2014)
5th Ward Weebie - Let Me Find Out (2014)
Rich Gang - Freestyle (2014)
Big Sean - Paradise (single version) (2014)
Lupe Fiasco ft. Ty Dolla $ign - Next To It (2014)
Shy Glizzy ft. DJ Drama - Funeral (2014)
Mr.2-17 - Strong Arm Flexxin' (2014)
Flo Rida ft. Sage The Gemini - GDFR (2014)
Heaven ft. Lil' Chris - Don't Shoot (2014)
Rich Homie Quan - Flex (Ooh, Ohh, Ohh) (2015)
Nef The Pharaoh - Big Tymin' (2015)
22nd Letter - Blunt On Me (2015)
Ampichino - The Eulogy (2015)
Kendrick Lamar - Alright (2015)
Level & Mouse On Tha Track - I Bet U Won't (2015)
Lil' Chris - God's Crying (2015)
Warren G ft. Nate Dogg - My House (2015)
Fetty Wap ft. Monty - 679 (2015)
Dr. Yen Lo - Day 22 (2015)
Young Devi D - Young Fly N*gga (2015)
Berner & The Jacka ft. Rydah J. Klyde - One Sound (2015)
Honey Cocaine - Honeydick (2015)
Paul Wall - Swangin' In The Rain (2015)
Bankroll Fresh ft. Boochie & Travis Porter - Walked In (2015)
Hardini - I'm Bick (2015)
70th Street Carlos ft. JMM Larry & SOG Sherwood Flame - Cross Me (2016)
Tink - Aquafina (2016)
French Montana ft. Kodak Black - Lockjaw (2016)
Yung Cat - You Ah Bitch (2016)
2 Chainz - MFN Right (2016)
Team Toon ft. Ya Boy Big Choo - My Hot Boy (2016)
Jimmy Wopo - Elm Street (2016)
Dreezy ft. Jeremih - Body (2016)
Uncle Murda - Cam'Ron Voice (2016)
NBA YoungBoy - 38 Baby (2016)
Ralo - Calm Down Ralo (2016)
Rittz ft. Mike Posner & E-40 - Inside Of The Groove (2016)
T.E.C & Maine Musik - Ain't No Comin' Down (2016)
OMB Peezy - Lay Down (video mix) (2016)
Quelle Chris - Buddies (2017)
WNC Whop Bezzy & 70th Street Carlos - Trell (2017)
Mozzy - Sleep Walkin' (2017)
Creek Boyz - With My Team (video mix) (2017)
Tay-K - The Race (2017)
Open Mike Eagle - Brick Body Complex (2017)
Queen Key - My Way (2017)
Baby Soulja ft. Boosie BadAzz - Dirty (2017)
Loc Choc - Fast Life (2017)
FMB DZ - Friday (2017)
Doughboyz Cashout ft. B. Ryan - This Is How We Move It (2017)
DaBoii of SOB X RBE - Onna Gang (2018)
Rico Nasty - Smack A Bitch (2018)
DJ Premier ft. Casanova - Wut U Said???? (2018)
Cash Kidd - Zorbas (2018)
P-Lo - Same Squad (2018)
Valee ft. Jeremih - Womp Womp (2018)
Sada Baby - LLYGMISTA (2018)
City Girls - Period (We Live) (2018)
Lil' Peep - Cry Alone (2018)
Jean Grae & Quelle Chris - My Contribution To This Scam (2018)
FBG Duck - Slide (2018)
Rich The Factor - Do It Gooba (2018)
BlocBoy JB - Mercedes (2019)
Duke Deuce - Yeh (2019)
Positive K & MC Lyte - I'm Still Not Havin' It (2019)
Eatem - Whoop Sum (2019)
DaBaby - Walker Texas Ranger (2019)
Ether ft. Fivio Foreign & Mr. Swipey - WAKA (2019)
Peezy - New Car Smell (2019)
ShooterGang Kony - Charlie (2019)
Polo G - Deep Wounds (2019)
Lil' Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus - Old Town Road (remix) (2019)
Kokane - Doo Doo Headz (2019)
XanMan - Foulin' The Plug (2019)
The Egyptian Lover - 5¢ Camel Ride (Long Version) (2019)

Best old Rap songs to properly see the light of day this decade:
Bizzie Boyz - Brainstorm (1988/2011)
Lord Finesse - Inconsiderate Females (1989/2012)
LL Cool J - Year Of The Hip Hop (1991 or 1992/2011)
Spice 1 - Killa Days (1992/2014)
Camp Lo - Coolie High Is Life (1995/2016)
G. Dep - Blak N*gga (1996/2016)
Pete Rock - Street Dreams (instrumental) (1996/2019)
2Pac - Letz Get It On (Ready 2 Rumble) O.G mix (1996/2019)
Mac Dre - Pawns In The Game (1997/2014)
Casual - Who Do That? (1997/2016)
Juvenile ft. Big Tymers - Cash Money Gorilla (1998/2017)
Z-Man - Artistic Violence (1999/2012)
Young Bleed - Stamp On It (2006/2011)
Camu Tao - Plot A Little (2007/2010)
Max B - Take A Flick (2007/2013)
MF DOOM & Madlib - Avalanche (2009/2016)
T-Pain & Lil' Wayne - Listen To Me (2009/2017)

Best non-American Rap songs of the 2010s:
Giggs - Monsta Man (2011)
Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX - Fancy (2014)
MHD - Afro Trap Part 3 (Champions League) (2015)
Krept & Konan ft. Jeremih - Freak Of The Week (2015)
Nick Brewer ft. Bibi Bourelly - Talk To Me (2015)
New Age Muzik - Da Beat (2016)
21 Savage & Metro Boomin' - No Heart (2016)
Young T & Bugsey - No Mickey Mouse Ting (2016)
DJ Consequence ft. YCEE In A Benz (2016)
J Hus - Did You See (2017)
MoStack - Let It Ring (2017)
Donae'O - Black (Social Circles Remix) (2017)
Sneakbo ft. Giggs - Active (2017)

If anyone fancies putting the main list together as a streamable playlist then do it on YouTube rather than Spotify or any of the other DSPs. Why? Because all yer DSPs are currently missing the right mixes of Bassrock Babies, Freeze Me, I Need A Hitta, Paranoid, Fiesta, Thank You, Never Be A G, Lay Down, With My Team etc. If that ain't bad enough, all yer DSPs are also currently missing the tracks by Boosie, Foxx, Bo Deal & Mello G Blanca, Mysonne, Fat Trel, HD Of Bearfaced, Treal Lee & Prince Rick, Rich Boy, Wooh Da Kid, Mic Terror, Rick Ross, Grip Plyaz, Pablo Skywalkin, Rich Gang, 22nd Letter, Lil' Chris etc. A playlist without those songs ain't my list, so DON'T add my name to it.

Bonus beats: best non-Rap songs of the 2010s imho.

Bonus beats two: top 50 Rap late pass discoveries of the 2010s.

Bonus beats three: top 50 non-Rap late pass discoveries of the 2010s.

Monday, 7 October 2019

I think these corny indie fux tryna wind me up, maybe I'm just Paranoid?

Reasons why you should never trust Pitchfork part gazillion: their best 200 songs of the 2010s list features the Godawful B.o.B remix of Paranoid rather than the original Joe Mo$e$ version which Atlantic Records tried to shut down at the behest of T.I. This song's still good as fuck, Pitchfork's list is a boogawoof!

DJ Mustard ft. Ty Dolla $ign & Joe Mo$e$ - Paranoid
(From DJ Mustard's Ketchup mixtape; 2013)



Picture me EVER payin' to use Spotify or any other other DSP when none of them have the proper version of Paranoid.

Friday, 4 October 2019

Fun fun fun on the Cairo Autobahn

The Egyptian Lover - 5¢ Camel Ride (Long Version)
(From Beyond The Galaxy EP; 2019)



Ya host asked for an extended version of that killer interlude from Egyptian Lover's 2018 LP, and lo and behold here it is. Initially balked at the notion of an 8 minute instrumental until remembering that Lover Boi has form for showing his arse on extended 808 epics. In fact, 8 minutes is the ideal length because this is driving music to peel off on the tar in your cosmic car, fuck around and get your driver's licence from Mars.

Ancient Egyptians actually had flying cars, y'know. It's true - I heard it in a Ras Kass song.

Tuesday, 1 October 2019

Mighty Mike Tyson (no Spoonie Gee)

Heard by Seldon but seldom heard before, here's one for youz hardened 2Pac stans: the O.G version of that track he recorded for Mike Tyson to use as his entrance music for the infamous Bruce Seldon fight on September 7th 1996. There's been a couple of remixes of this which have emerged over the years, but this is the original mix with the beat which later got resold to Spice 1. Presumably the TruPac fanboy equivalent of Martin Shkreli finally got his hands on this and then leaked it a couple of days ago.

"All they see is black venom then my silhouette
Just watch the fear reappear in they eyes when I hit the set
Oh no, 2Pac wit' team Tyson, Seldon was seldom seen
Iron Mike cut his head like a guillotine"


2Pac - Letz Get It On (Ready 2 Rumble) (O.G version)
(2Pac's last recording session; september 6th 1996/the internet; 2019)



Sux that 2Pac died and we never got an Evander Holyfield response to this. Obviously it'd be produced by one of the Bad Boy Hitmen with lyrics penned by Biggie and ad libs from Puffy.

Added this to my 2010's golden oldies playlists of old tracks which have emerged this decade.