Tuesday, 25 February 2020

Bounce (For The Juracán)

79rs Gang - 79rs Bout To Blow
(From YouTube; 2020)



Injun war dance Alpoko Bounce? Divine, darrrrrling. Big Chief Jermaine from the 7th Ward, Big Chief Romeo from the 9th Ward & their band of native shamans summon up ancient spirits of Juvenile and Lil' Slim from the Bayou. Don't get it twisted, though - any ponce who tries to tie this into "Hauntology" will curse themselves to spend eternity tormented by Mark Fisher's weird pixie voice.

Saturday, 22 February 2020

Chief Queef: Make The Music With Your Mouth, Duke

Duke Deuce - Fat Mac
(From Memphis Massacre 2 mixtape; 2020)



Ladeez & germz, it's 2020's first song to feature a fat Rapper doing fanny-fart noises, and when I say fanny I ain't talkin' in the American sense, boiiiiii. Fair play, the Yeh guy ain't half bad at Project Mack-core here.

Duke Deuce - Bad News
(From Memphis Massacre 2 mixtape; 2020)



Another thing the Yeh guy ain't half bad at: condensing Big Memphis Energy down into placid Valee exoticness. It's nonchalant but still hardbody as f*ck.

Tuesday, 18 February 2020

And you gotta watch Tommy because Tommy be schemin'

Coolio - Aw Here It Goes (Kenan & Kel extended Theme)
(From TV show; 1996/Fantastic Voyage: The Greatest Hits album; 2001)



Following on from the last post, it also blows my mind that Tommy Boy never released Coolio's full Kenan & Kel theme as a single. Granted, it featured a buncha lyrics recycled from 1,2,3,4 (Sumpin' New), but it jammed way harder than that song so who cares? Plus, Tommy Boy CEO/Mountain Climber Who Plays An Electric Guitar™ Tom Silverman was hardly shy of releasing a plethora of singles in the hope one would stick, was he?

Never forget the Coolio vs. Tina Malone beef in Celebrity Big Brother.

Saturday, 15 February 2020

The Fresh Prince Of Bellend A&Rs

DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air (full version)
(From the TV show; 1990/Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince Greatest Hits album; 1998)



The biggest mistake Them crackers at Jive™ made wasn't continually delaying The Clipse's Hell Hath No Fury, it was not releasing the full Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air theme as a single back in 1990/1991. A no-brainer global hit in waiting, that shit coulda been as big as Summertime and made the world a more fun place in the process. Instead Jive came up with the bizarre decision to only release it as a Netherlands-exclusive and not even in its original form. Whichever A&R came up with that idea should have been fired - into space.

Thursday, 13 February 2020

Ten Four, we have an AZN droppin' N Bombs!

"All eyez on me, freaky hoes up in the backseat
Hurt the block how I run them backstreets
Gotta keep a 40 in case he try to clap me
And when it get to bustin' turn you n*ggas into athletes"


RichCityD - All Eyez On Me
(From Thizzler's YouTube channel; 2020)



I love the sound of random slaps in the morning. Come for the #problematic AZN, stay for the Happy Perez chords and haunted house synths.

Sunday, 9 February 2020

Generic list post: can you believe 2010 was a decade ago?


Yes I can/no I can't because 2010 simultaneously feels like a lifetime ago and five minutes ago. Very much an annus horribilis for anthems because some of the worst big Rap choonz of the decade dropped in 2010: Eminem's Not Afraid, Drake's Over, Young Money's Bedrock, Nicki Minaj's Super Bass, and KanYe West's Power. Tbf, 2010 wasn't quite as much of a lost wasteland as 2009 but so many of the songs in this list deserved better fates. Thus, 30 faves from the year of Gudda Gudda's Grocery Bag™ punchline:

Young Dro - Freeze Me
Beeda Weeda - Bassrock Babies (O.G version)
Rick Ross ft. Styles P - B.M.F (Blowin' Money Fast)
Sean Price - Figure Four
Lil' Boosie - Top To The Bottom
Webbie - My People
Mouse On Tha Track ft. Trill Fam - Turn The Beat Up
Curren$y - Michael Knight
Wiz Khalifa - The Kid Frankie
Dru Down ft. The Jacka - Hello Hello Hello
A-Mafia - 1000 Grams
Lil B - Good Morning
Young L - Young L-E-N
Grip Plyaz ft. Slick Pulla - Stuntman Mike
Roc Marciano - Ridin' Around
E-40 ft. Clyde Carson & Husalah - Lightweight Jammin'
Gucci Mane - Normal
Waka Flocka Flame ft. Kebo Gotti - Grove St. Party
$tarlito - Alright
AZ - The Calm
NhT Boyz ft. The Jacka - U Ain't From
YG ft. Ty Dolla $ign - Toot It And Boot It
HBK Gang - She Ready
Travis Porter - Make It Rain
French Montana ft. Curren$y - So High
Young Jeezy ft. Yo Gotti - All White Everything
Keak Da Sneak & DJ Fresh - Maxi Pads
Max Minelli - Louisiana Sky
Treal Lee & Prince Rick - Throwed Off (F*ck Everybody)
Mic Terror - My Bitch Tonight

Bonus beats: nostalgia lists for 1990 and 2000.

Sunday, 2 February 2020

Yo home to Nightmare!


DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - A Nightmare On My Street
(From He's The DJ, I'm The Rapper album; 1988/YouTube; 2018)



Damn, nobody told me that the banned A Nightmare On My Street video finally turned up online in 2018. Banned because New Line Cinema had it pulled from circulation in 1988 to use The Fat Boys' Are You Ready For Freddy? as a promotional tie-in for the 4th A Nightmare on Elm Street movie instead. Lord knows why because the Fat Boys song was shite, and there couldn't have been any tricky image rights issues to negotiate when the Freddy of Jeff & Will's Street looked nowt like the Freddy of Elm Street. One, two, Freddy's evil Muppet Billy Idol's coming for you...



Let's be honest here, this video resurfacing and Jimmy Wopo's two Elm Street songs were the only notable things Freddy's Franchise™ produced last decade.

Rap music - three, New Line Cinema - nil.

Thursday, 30 January 2020

Generic list post: January 2020

"Alright Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my onion."


Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Anthony "The Needledrip" Fantano earned himself a 2020 Oscar nomination.

Intelligent Hoodlum - The Rebel Returns (1989/2019)
Field Mob - At The Park (2006)
Pronto Spazzout - Jiggy Music (2019)
Casanova - Jail Call (2019)
Eatem - Wat's Wrong Wit' Em (2020)
FMB DZ ft. Sada Baby - Dripple Dragons (2020)
Boldy James & Alchemist - Speed Demon Freestyle (2020)
J Hus ft. Burna Boy - Play Play (2020)

Other notables: of course BlocBoy JB flipped Still Tippin' into Still Crippin'; Foxx should hop on WNC Whop Bezzy's Bout A Week because it currently sounds unfinished.

Bonus beats: nostalgia lists for 1990 and 2000.

Monday, 27 January 2020

Late pass!

"I'm at the park tryna holla at every girl
The paint on the Chevy drippin' like a Jheri Curl"


Field Mob - At The Park
(From Light Poles and Pine Trees album; 2006)



Somebody in my comments recently suggested this is the G.O.A.T Field Mob song. I wouldn't quite go that far, but still everything's real in the Field because shit is a jam 4 real. It's kinda like Field Mob doing a KanYe West song and yet that's somehow not a bad thing in this instance.


Why'd nobody skool me on this song before? And how was it not a single?

Friday, 24 January 2020

Dem Bow meets Dem Gal



"I had to link a cougar with the Luger
But the next time I'll bring her the big bazooka"


J Hus ft. Burna Boy - Play Play
(From Big Conspiracy album; 2020)



J Hus wasn't lying when he said he played for the Gunners, eh? Ain't gonna lie, though, ya host wasn't expecting Hus & Burna Boy's latest collaboration to be the Afro Bashment equivalent of Giggs' Monsta Man. Instant anthem, albeit an instant anthem which summer 2019 was gaggin' for.

Hate to be a contrarian h8er boi but this new J Hus album ain't a patch on Common Sense. Maybe I'm being too picky? Alternatively, maybe you ain't being picky enough?

Wednesday, 22 January 2020

Grandmaster Spazz

"Like Kemo I get dippy if that scenery too iffy
But they know whassup, my brothers notorious like Biggie
Wig slippin, boy you trippin', I wouldn't leave the hoe with a hickey
You be hoppin' dick to dick, bitch, I wouldn't even let you kiss me"


Pronto Spazzout - Jiggy Music
(From Spazzin' Out Part 1 mixtape; 2019)



Cold, grey January is always a good time to catch up on songs from the previous year innit? So cheers to The Boxxx Report for puttin' me onto this Pronto Spazzout song which is currently buzzing in Chicago. Its USP: a bolt of energy that's kinda like a Lil' Herb song ghostwritten by Jimmy Wopo.

Pronto Spazzout - the only Rap moniker which would also work as the name for a Grindcore band?

Sunday, 19 January 2020

Generic list post: can you believe 2000 was 20 years ago?


"THERE'S ONLY FIVE YEARS LEFT!" bellowed Busta Rhymes on Everything Remains Raw. Then we all finally got to party like it's 1999, the clock struck midnight, and... ain't a damn thing changed. This was particularly true in Rap because half the biggest anthems of 2000 were released in 1999: Black Rob's Whoa, Method Man & Redman's Y.O.U, Dr. Dre's The Next Episode, Crooklyn Clan's Be Faithful, Jay-Z & UGK's Big Pimpin', DMX's What's My Name and Party Up (Up In Here), Juvenile's U Understand, and Nelly's Country Grammar (Hot Shit).

All of which is a fancy way of reminding all y'all that I dropped a 1999 list last year, and now I'm postin' a 2000 list as a sequel to my recent 1990 list. The 35 best Rap songs of 2000 as according to me.

OutKast ft. Sleepy Brown - So Fresh, So Clean
Ghostface Killah - Saturday Night
Kool G. Rap ft. RZA - Cakes
Mac Dre - Off Tha Rictor
Prodigy - Keep It Thoro
8Ball & MJG - Pimp Hard
M.O.P - Roll Call
DJ Quik - Pitch In On A Party
Shyne ft. Barrington Levy - Bad Boyz
Black Rob ft. G-Dep - B.R.
Three 6 Mafia ft. UGK & Project Pat - Sippin' On Some Syrup
Project Pat - Gorilla Pimp
Cocoa Brovaz - Super Brooklyn
Nelly ft. City Spud - Ride Wit Me
SPM ft. Baby Beesh - Oh My My
Big L Flamboyant
Cam'Ron ft. Prodigy - Losin' Weight
Mystikal - Big Truck Boys
Bumpy Knuckles - Industry Shakedown
Trick Daddy ft. Trina, Deuce Poppito & Co - Shut Up
Trina - Pull Over
De La Soul ft. Redman - Oooh
Big Tymers - Get Your Roll On
Mad Skillz - Ghost Writer
Snoop Dogg ft. Kokane & Suga Free - Bring It On
C-Murder ft. Magic & Snoop Dogg - Down For My N*ggaz
Big Pun - N*gga Shit
K-Rino ft. DJ Screw - Why Ya Wanna Hate?
Beanie Sigel - The Truth
Field Mob - Project Dreamz
AZ - I Don't Give A F*ck
Ruff Ryders ft. Snoop Dogg, Yung Wun, Scarface & Jadakiss - World War III
Jakki Tha Motamouth ft. Copywrite - Widespread
Ludacris - Southern Hospitality

Note: if people can dance to songs by/featuring a serial groomer like Drake then I can stan for SPM's one legit 5/5 song.

Thursday, 16 January 2020

What's a goon to a gobbling?

Mic Terror - Head In The Morning
(From Tall, Dark, & Gangster EP; 2019/YouTube; 2020)



Hooray - my favourite song from Mic Terror's last EP now has a video. Hip hip hooray - the video lives up to Mic's "I love a pretty face, fat ass, and huge boobs" lyric.

It's a brand new decade, we need brand new attitudes, and brand new ways to stop superfluous dudes from turning every Rap video into a sausagefest. In with Eye Candy 4 The Lads, out with neighbourhood goons mean-muggin' the camera! Sing along with me, folks:

♫ NO MORE LOCAL RANDOS, BRING BACK VIDEO HOES! ♫

Monday, 13 January 2020

Rebel without a boutique raer vinylz release

"Mic manipulator mutilating MC's
Narrator-navigator of the seven seas"


Tragedy AKA Intelligent Hoodlum - The Rebel Returns
(From Marley Marl sessions; 1989/the internet; 2019)



There was me thinkin' I knew all the unreleased 1989 Intelligent Hoodlum tracks via old Westwood shows and those two EP's on DWG Records. Then I came across this sequel to The Rebel and was like "how have I never heard this before?" Turns out Westwood did play this in 1989, someone upped the audio of that to the internet in 2016, and someone else finally tracked down the test press 12" last year and ripped it. A smattering of lyrics on this one date back to the 1987 Super Kids era. Otherwise, it's sick-scientific Tragedy mispronouncing the Tasmanian Devil over a twangy loop of Cissy Strut.

Friday, 10 January 2020

R.I.P 5th Ward Weebie


5th Ward Weebie ft. Wild Wayne & Trombone Shorty - Drop It How Ya Feel It
(From Soundcloud; 2018)



Let me find out that the internet is bullshitting with the news of 5th Ward Weebie's death. That man kept Bounce alive when Bounce had taken a dive, made music which sounded like Mardi Gras in Magnolia Projects, and was responsible for some of the only non-corny Real Instruments Rap™ of this past decade. Most importantly, Weebie owned the G.O.A.T Louisiana-sounding Louisiana Rap song:

5th Ward Weebie - Supa Sunday In N.O
(From Da Unexpected album; 2003)



Rest in peace lil' big man. I hope Heaven got more pop-up Seafood Gumbo restaurants you can open up with your royalties from Audrey's Nice For What.

Wednesday, 8 January 2020

Black Steel In The Hour Of Lateness

"Have you ever thought of suicide
On a jail call when your mother cried
She ain't understand you had to ride
It was him or you, it was do or die"


Casanova - Jail Call
(From Behind These Scars album; 2019)



I got a letter from the government the other day, I opened and read it, it said I'm a sucka for sleepin' on Casanova's Jail Call. Pain music par excellence where Casanova turns down for what's the first introspective song of his career. Not so much Don't Get Caught, as Don't Do It If You Do Get Caught. Modern Blues and the most effective anti-porridge song since Mysonne's In Jail.

Never fear, though, because the next song on Casanova's album is a Brooklyn Shout-Rap version of Body Count's Talk Shit, Get Shot where Cas' threatens to pull up on people who've trolled his Instagram.

Monday, 6 January 2020

Buff(et) Crew

Eatem: he looks like Percy Tragedy and makes regionally distinct rowdiness in the spirit of Treal Lee. This new song's pressure, but with only one verse it makes a better B-side to Spent It All than a single in its own right.

"Different angles with the banger like triangle isosceles"

Eatem - Wat's Wrong Wit' Em
(From YouTube; 2020)



Where's my true Paid In Full fans at? I'm talkin' people who copped the O.G bootleg DVD from Canal Street in 2002 with the scene set to Special Ed's I Got It Made which was later overdubbed with Jaz B. Lat'n's era-inappropriate Set It Off for the official movie. Lord knows why they changed it because I Got It Made was on disc one of the soundtrack.

Friday, 3 January 2020

Generic list post: can you believe 1990 was 30 years ago?


The year was 1990, I was in my 2nd year of high school, Round The Twist was my fave show on TV, Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby was thee shit to me initially, and I loved FNM as much as N.W.A. Plz believe ya host was livin' that Hardcore Hip-Hop lifestyle, though: stealing Posca pens from Partners and tagging up provincial carparks, buying a pair of snow-camo trousers in a misguided attempt to dress like the S1Ws, paying a neighbour to record me Yo! MTV Raps off BSB, and accidentally making a Jehovah's Witness girl cry by playing Silver Bullet's 20 Seconds To Comply on our high school common room's tape-deck.

James Brown samples and Ultimate Breaks & Beats staples were starting to recede as new styles and sounds were beginning to fully blossom, but 1990 Rap was still funkier than Rab C. Nesbitt. And so, in no particular order, here's 30 Legit Jams™ from 30 years ago. Some were faves at the time, others I've discovered in the years since, all of them are absolute choonz.

Brand Nubian - Step To The Rear
Too $hort - The Ghetto
Eric B. & Rakim - In The Ghetto (LP mix)
Ice Cube ft. Lil' Russ - A Gangsta's Fairytale
N.W.A - Real N*ggaz
Above The Law - Murder Rap
Gang Starr - Just 2 Get A Rep
Compton's Most Wanted - Duck Sick
Lakim Shabazz - The Voice Of Power
King Tee ft. Ice Cube & Breeze - Played Like A Piano
Master Ace - Me And The Biz
Kool G. Rap & D.J Polo - Kool Is Back
Rated X - Be Cool To Your Girl
EPMD ft. LL Cool J - Rampage
Poor Righteous Teachers - Rock Dis Funky Joint
Digital Underground - Packet Man
Chubb Rock - Treat 'Em Right
X Clan - Funkin' Lesson
Public Enemy - 911 Is A Joke
Poison Clan - Bad Influence
KMD - Peachfuzz
M.C Pooh - F***in' With Dank
Lord Finesse & DJ Mike Smooth - Funky Technician
Ice-T - Mind Over Matter
LL Cool J - Mama Said Knock You Out
C.O.D. - Clever Word
A Tribe Called Quest - Luck Of Lucien
Jungle Brothers ft. Native Tongues - Doin' Our Own Dang (Do It To The JBs mix)
Main Source - Looking At The Front Door
Mob Style - Gangster Shit

Bonus beats: can you believe 1980 was 40 years ago? Was gonna drop list of my favourite Rap songs from 1980 too, but it'd just be three Spoonie Gee tracks, Jimmy Spicer's Adventures Of Super Rhyme, Treacherous Three's Body Rock, and Kurtis Blow's Hard Times.

Wednesday, 1 January 2020

Throw Dem Bowsers

For Smif-N-Wessun to get one of their very best songs effectively shut down by sample clearance was standard practice, to get two was plain bad luck: first there was Nothing Move But The Money in 1995, and then Super Brooklyn in 2000 after their rebrand as the Cocoa Brovaz. In a perfect world Dru-Ha got the Super Mario Brothers samples cleared and Super Brooklyn went on to be the biggest Boot Camp Clik single since Leflaur Leflah Eshkoshka. G.O.A.T video-game sample song? Possibly. The only Boot Camp Clik song Peter Crouch could do The Robot to? Definitely.

"I'm a Brooklyn survivor
These streets is hotter than lava
Yo, that saliva burn you like fire"


Cocoa Brovaz - Super Brooklyn
(From Super Brooklyn 12" single; 2000/Game Over compilation; 2002)