"I go stupider
I ain't came from Mars, I came from Jupiter
I wanna Cupid her
Baby got them buns I'm bout to doop in her
I'm boopin' her
If she say she Blood then I'm Woopin' her
Gotta strap it up 'cause I ain't tryna leave no troop in her"
Stack Dough - Chicken
(From YouTube; 2021)
S.F robo-slap by some breh with a NOLA accent and an IT mask. This shit coulda done with a hook but I fuxwit it regardless. Fed this song into the trusty old audio-to-image converter here at Martorialist HQ and this is what came out:
The year was 1985, ya host was eight & 1/2 years old, and Run-D.M.C's performance of King Of Rock at Live Aid on TV was one of the pivotal moments where Rap music went from being something which was vaguely within my orbit via Roland Rat and Herbie Hancock to being the centre of my cultural universe alongside BMX bikes, amusement arcades, and Cadbury's cream eggs. Run-D.M.C & Jam Master Jay were a leather tracksuited star-shaped peg in Live Aid's hexagonal hole of stone-washed earnestness: they sounded like nothing the kid Marty had ever heard before and they were even cooler than the hoodlums in Michael Jackson's Beat It video. That was the night everything changed...
Thirty six years later and I still give Run-D.M.C half the credit that I've always preferred Adidas to Nike. The other half is down to Adidas Superstar tracksuits being the G.O.A.T #Athleisurewear. Wearing a slim-fit Adidas Superstar trackie to the pub on a Tuesday night to watch some Champions League football is an #AthleisurewearEra power move which makes you feel like King Cosy Boy (ask Valee!) Wearing a Nike Jordan trackie to the same pub on the same night to watch the same football, however, makes you look like you've just been to sign on the dole and makes you feel like you should be slobbing out at home on the sofa instead.
Related 80's: pour out a lil' Kraken for Ed "Duke Bootee" Fletcher. Who got the props? Alas, not Duke even though he was the Pumpkin of Sugar Hill Records, the genius behind The Message who then had his name scrubbed from the song's credits and his verses rapped by Furious Five members in the video, and the producer behind such tuff drum-machine era classix as Z-3 MC's Triple Threat and Word Of Mouth & DJ Cheese's King Kut and Coast To Coast. Credit is due.
First good Rap song of 2021 IMHO. Alabama's hoodrat Angelica from Rugrats on a Trading Places life switcheroo. Seriously, if they don't spoof Eddie Murphy's G.O.A.T movie for the video to this one then it's a complete waste of the song's concept.
The paradox of Vybz Kartel is that the Worl' Boss™ often sounds like he's from another planet: he's spent the past 7 years rotting inside a jailcell in Jamaica yet he's still sneakily recording new songs which sound like alien transmissions from Jupiter. If that reads like swanky-arse hyperbole to you it's only because this song sounds like a space-age riddim to me innit.
"If you give me less than 5 for a feature you gettin' a lazy verse
My n*gga Hell gave me what I want, I gave him a Slim Shady verse
12 racks for the Cuban, you n*ggas act stupid
Bitch, I ain't lookin' for no love, I'll whack Cupid"
Hellboy Rodd ft. Rio Da Yung OG - Talk Yo Shit
(From YouTube; 2020)
Top 5 reasons why this is ya host's favourite Rio Da Yung OG double-act track since Movie: cognisance of each other's presence on the song, genuine chemistry between both rappers, the impression that neither artist is just spittin' the first thing to spring to mind during their first take, none of Rio's gross rhymes about sex, a beat which slaps like bacon on a biscuit.
File this under '2020 choonz which hit even harder during England's cold, grey, damp national lockdown of 2021.'
Not only is this the ultimate Winter of our Discontent™, this is the ultimate winter of my disconnection. Thus, I find meself washing up on the Jersey Club shore again searchin' for jams. Cookiee Kawaii's Vacation is my favourite J.C find to date: a JeR&Bsey ode to the soul-cleansing reset of a good holiday that's more song than track but still retains the brevity, booty-chatter™ and BPM of the other Jersey Club bangers which have tickled my pleasure centre. If Ryanair don't use this song to soundtrack one of their annoying "Get yer Covid vaccination jab and maybe you plebs can go on holiday!" adverts then the company's entire marketing department should be sacked, imho.
Cookiee Kawaii's Vibe (If I Back It Up) seems to have been the biggest Jersey Club song of 2020 and was bestowed with the musical mark of Cain that is a Tyga remix. If Vacation ever follows a similar trajectory then let's hope someone more suitable gets to hop on the remix - someone like Flo Milli.
The super scientific smart-arse Jewish Percee P with scatological jokes - not a particularly tempting notion on paper, but Edan's music is undoubtedly thee dookie when banging through ya speaker. Edan found his niche in Rap's ecology with top quality even though so many of his best songs weren't included on either of his official albums, so I've made a compilation of my personal favourites. Effortless emphasis on the retro-futurist auteur tip, this playlist is designed to piss on a pessimist. Basically, don't front on the Portnoy!
Edan - Deep Cuts
1. Migraine (O.G mix) (1999)
2. The E's Have It ft. Skillz Ferguson (1999)
3. Drop Some Smooth Lyrics (2001)
4. Adrenaline Rush ft. Skillz Ferguson (2001)
5. Schoolly D Knew The Time (2002)
6. Clinical Rhymes ft. Skillz Ferguson (2002)
7. Emcees Smoke Crack (remix) (2002)
8. I'll Come Running Back To You (2002)
9. Funky Rhyming (2005)
10. Real Bad Promo (2018)
It's a pity Edan & Skillz Ferguson only recorded three tag team tracks together innit? Edan dubbed himself the One Man Arsenal on some Robin Van Persie circa 2008/2009 type shit, but his back-and-forth chemistry with Ferguson was always pure Double Trouble energy.
Plz excuse the slightly tinny sound quality of those first two tunes. The petition to get a remastered reissue of Edan's 1999 debut CD-R Artchitecture starts here! Mike Lewis, where ya at?
Kwest Tha Madd Ladd - I Met My Baby At V.I.M.
(From This Is My First Album LP; 1996)
Wait a motherf**kin' minute, true facts presented: Kwest Tha Madd Ladd's I Met My Baby At V.I.M. beat DOOM's Red & Gold to the Shoot 'Em Up Movies sample by a couple of years. The best Rap song about falling in love with a shop assistant at the mall? Possibly. The best Rap song to detail the embarrassment of having a fat hole in your sock when you're trying on kicks in a shop? Definitely. Shoulda been a single because they coulda brought the song's story to life with a lotta lotta laughs in the video.
That intro skit where Kwest and his m8 are arguing about the best song on Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde tho eh? C'mon now, lads - the #actual answer is Officer.
"The tick-tock up in my watch froze like Eskimos
Oh yessir, we up in China eatin' egg-a-rolls"
Dude 'n Nem - Watch My Feet
(From single; 2007/Tinted Incubators album; 2009)
Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when we say farewell to the year China's diet went from egg-a-rolls to infected bats. I suffered through the year and sat through so many Tiers. Happy frigging NYE.
Other notables: very pleased that Homeboy Sandman's Waiting On My Girl got blessed with a video which is as good as the song; Mac J's OnaSet makes a decent B-Side to Sparky; sad to say that Kurupt's voice sounds totally shot on NHale's new single.
Pretty funny that this has ended up one of my favourite choonz of 2020 - Jersey Club is not a type of music I've had any interest in previously, so UNIIQU3 is the siren luring me onto Jersey's shore. Basically, this track is some Loopmasters sample pack Hip-House which strikes the exact perfect balance between Hip-Hop and House; straight to the pleasure-centre dance music that'll turn your living room into a rave pon lockdown and beyond.
Mere coincidence or is UNiiQU3's moniker a homage to British Rave pioneers Unique 3? Top tip for Jersey Club producers: pitch Unique 3's Musical Melody instrumental up slightly, add some booty-chatter™, and you've got yourself the first great banger of 2021.
Christmas comfort food in the form of some old fashioned regional Gangsta-Rap which sounds closer to Pittsburg California than its actual home of Pittsburgh Pennsylvania (plus a much-unexpected interpolation of a New Orleans classic at the end!?) In a year when half these Rappers forgot how to write hooks it's nice to hear a song that's 60% chorus.
"Tank on E, blazin' that weed
Ain't got insurance like f*ck the police!
If you you ain't got sounds turn ya radio loud
This a Mano beat so it's still gonna pound
Ayyyyy, you ain't got no Benz but you can do it
Because this ain't for the ballers, this hoopty music
Ayyyyy, you ain't got rims but you can do it
Because this ain't for the ballers, this hoopty music"
Mic Terror - Hoopty Music
(From The Terrordome Vol. 2 mixtape; 2008)
I'm a Mic Terror connoisseur but he still has cuts I've accidentally treated like a red-haired stepchild. For example, I totally slept on Hoopty Music even though it's one of Mic's best pairings with Million $ Mano production and it's good enough to have been his third single after Cold As Hell and Juke Them Hoes. A pean to everyday entrepreneurialism and livin' la dolce vita within one's means, it also triggers good memories for ya host - Mic T sold fake coke to white folks, Marty sold fake acid tabs from Plastikman's Sheet One CD to posh kids.
Father forgive me - it was the late 90s, I was on a tight budget, and imported Rap CDs and 12"s were expensive.
ZelooperZ - Tryna Figure Out Where My Phone At?
(From Gremlin album; 2020)
Well, well, well - if this isn't the most weirdly-alluring delirious Based shit outta Detroit since Rich Blue's Hands Hands. Essentially, it's No Heart with big Generation Z Gremlin Get Retarded energy via an ex-member of Danny Brown's Bruiser Brigade crew. Dunno if it's necessarily good, but it's definitely got me hooked ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
"Down in the tombs 30 years can bring a n*gga to tears
Neutralised, numb and scared, can you imagine you there?
I'm elsewhere, my chick pussy pretty, shaved like a pear
Her derrière make a queer n*gga sit there and stare
This is the year, since the ball dropped been ballin' on top
Then came the Kobe death, Covid, and cops"
AZ - Different
(From Different single; 2020)
Son, who laced you with the ill Soul-crack? Been testing this one for the past week and my conclusion is that it's categorically the best original AZ song since We Movin'. Some non-fancy 70's baby New York Rap that's still flyer than Aladdin's magic carpet. Bite ya lip, let's hope Doe Or Die 2 sounds like this.
Never been able to decide whether I wish Nickatina & Jacka had rhymed over this beat or it's most evocative as it is as a wordless ode to lost ones. Probably the latter since it made for hecka emotive backing music to those JackHistoryMonth videos which Thizzler did a couple of years ago. I ain't too familiar with We Miss You Furl's producer K-Maxx but maybe I should since he was also behind my fave track on the EP where Andre & Shaheed went full tag-team on some Erick & Parrish Making Blapz type shit.
Andre Nickatina & The Jacka - Square Crows
(From My Middle Name Is Crime EP; 2010)
"Down for the count like Dracula's people" was such a hot line that Jacka used it on Square CrowsandLoyal To The Mob. Great simile, Jacka pushed heat like a chimney sweep.
2020: the year when Kevin Gates created Coronavirus or sumfink.
You probably wanna read another opening blurb about The Year None Of Us Will Ever Forget™ about as much as I wanna write one so let's just get on this this eh? In no particular order of preference, here's the songs which are soundtracking my 2020, including a handful of songs from the dying days of 2019. The list also features a handful of artists I don't particularly like for whom the stars aligned briefly on one glorious song I couldn't resist; however, please believe this doesn't mean that the list contains any Drake, Griselda, Lil' Baby, Gunna, Run The Jewels, London Drill songs, or Pitchfork poptimism - a man's gotta have some standards.
Archaeology for those who dig it, post-mortem. 36 songs from years past which have become personal favourites in 2020. I call this the Corona list because it's proper sick.
High five to those of you who recommended me some of these songs, hat tip to meself for comin' across the rest. Like I always say, it's never been easier to search for music from the past, but findin' songs you love remains as tricky as ever dunnit?
Bonus beats: also came across across a couple of videos I'd never seen before for two bona fide 80's Rap classics. First was Woppit by B. Fats, and second was the formerly banned video for A Nightmare On My Street by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince. Both videos have made me love each song even more than I did beforehand so job's a good 'un to everybody involved.
Homeboy Sandman - Waiting On My Girl
(From YouTube; 2020)
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Doseone. I watched Jel-beams glitter in the dark near the Odd Nosdam. All those moments will be lost in time, like minutes spent waiting for women when they're in bedrooms, bathrooms, or changing rooms. Time to leave already, luv!!!
Gotta love it when a great song gets blessed with an equally great video. Slightly #problematic but utterly realistic Rap. I'll say this for Homeboy Sandman - when his music and my taste do converge it's always on some idiosyncratic bugged-out shit which could only come from him. And if that ain't the very definition of It Hits Different™ then I dunno what is.
Anybody got the MP3 of this? All zShare linx have long since been nuked and there's only live versions on YouTube. Where's Rey when I need him? Somebody, anybody, help me, screeeeaaaam.
Quelle surprise: Google tells me that Bol liked this song which is both a total shock and totally on-brand. That's Bol AKA the world's only black bloke who prefers Run The Jewels to Killer Mike's music beforehand.
**EDIT** Cheers to Russian Ray for hookin' up the MP3. Strap your tinfoil snapbacks on for this one, lads.
Mic Terror - I'm An Asshole
(From King Of The New School mixtape; 2009)
Yung Cat - Ya Know
(From Fat Tone Jr. album; 2020)
Via Yohan, a Yung Cat single I'd missed. Cat's always good for one slap a year, particularly when the aforementioned slap finds him colouring between Fat Tone's lines in the style of Husalah's hyperactive country-cousin from Kansas City.
Here starts the petition for a deluxe CD reissue of Fat Tone's Tha Stick Up Kid album with liner notes from C-Bo, Yung Cat, and whoever runs the OnlyNKillaCity YouTube channel.
Proper Brat-Wave bubblegum Power-Pop from Juicy B & The Thunder Zone Band. If I say Deal With The Dream is catchier than an STD in Times Square circa the early 80s it's not to lower the tone, but because this shit wouldn't have sounded outta place in season two or three of The Deuce. Song surely woulda been a single if Juiceboxxx hadn't vanished entirely from the internet.
The Flys - Love And A Molotov Cocktail
(From Love And A Molotov Cocktail 7" single; 1978)
Let's be honest here - 70's New Punk Rock ain't a patch on 70's British Punk Rock. The proof? Even a third-tier U.K group of Coventry oiks like The Flys have a legit 10/10 gobshite Punk classic which bodies the combined discographies of the entire 70's New York scene other than Blondie, The Ramones and the one good Richard Hell & The Voidoids song. New York's alright if you like junkies with nary a decent tune in sight!
Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when there was no sadder sight than European men masquerading as American political experts and arguing about Biden Verzuz Trump. You nerds need to cultivate some Yank interests which are actually fun - like Rap music, natch.
Other notables:OHFR? is the first Rico Nasty song I've kinda liked this year; listened to Goodie Mob's new album and I wish they'd replace Cee-Lo with Witchdoctor or Backbone or Nathaniel or damn near anyone who's ever appeared on a Dungeon Family album; Rio Da Yung OG should be forced to retitle his Accidental Shit Talkin' EP as Here's Some First-Take Freestyles I Can't Be Bothered Writing Any Hooks For; no matter how many times YouTube recommends it to me, I'm not listening to Kay Slay's Rolling 50 Deep 18 minute posse cut; shit I wasn't expecting this month: a Tinashe Xmas EP where she covers Wham's Last Christmas.
"Ay' I'm a reptable
Treat him like he cut the line 'cause he next to go
I think I'm a timebomb, yeah I'm next to blow
He was talkin' all that beef 'til he a vegetable"
Mac J - Sparky
(From the internet; 2020)
Now I'm checkin' in, check me out. Missed this one last month but now I've caught up it's my fave Mac blast since OldSkoo. Hookless if you take the song at face value in homage to producer Sparky Made It Slap, once you realise Check Me Out was the O.G title then there is a sneaky hook in there like Abu Hamza in a cheap suit.
Whenever I listen to Mac J on Soundcloud and leave shit runnin', it always ends up playing some terrible Mac Miller song with Juicy J. No disrespect to the dead, but Mac Miller sex-raps were second only to Mindbender Futurama sex-raps in terms of sheer horrificness.
This Dancehall refreak by Michigan & Smiley of Nice Up The Dance fame takes the crown. Jah's greasy spoon uptown ranking which almost certainly woulda been banned from the jukebox in Tom's IRL diner if Kramer's racist arse was in the building.
Every year I come across a couple of Mac Dre songs I'd previously slept on and 2020 is no different; first there was the acoustic version of Times R Gettin' Crazy and now there's this hubba knock from that dodgy Mac Dre's The Name album. Ain't gon' lie, first time I heard this song I sat there sweatin' bullets expecting an uncredited guest verse from some Gilligan pill-carrier like BA or Miami The Most to spoil it. Praise the Lord - Hallelujah for some uninterrupted guerilla gurp from Furl Hawaiianshirt.
FFS can't believe I enjoy a U.K Drill song by some breh afflicted with the dreaded kid's TV presenter voice which runs rampant in the sub-genre. Tbf, M1llionz's Brummoi accent does have chutzpah and the B1llionz beat conjures up images of green grass rather than grey pavements. Not arf bad for a miserable style of music I usually can not stand.
Maybe I'm buggin' but the flow/beat combo here kinda make me think of a midlands Jacka. Midlands Jacka: a phrase I never expected to type lolz.
