Friday, 6 March 2015

Generic list post: "can you believe 2005 was a decade ago?" edition

2005: the year Crash won the best movie Oscar, Lost won the best drama Emmy, Little Britain won the best comedy Bafta, Simon Cowell won GQ's TV personality of the year award, Liverpool won the Champion's League, Chelsea won the Premiership title, the Patriots won the Super Bowl, and that Geordie twat who shagged Makosi in the hot tub won Big Brother U.K.

What an absolute nadir for humanity, eh? Here's great 25 rap songs from 2005 to remind you that the year wasn't a total bust in cultural terms:

Z-Ro - Respect My Mind
AZ - Never Change
The Jacka - Barney (More Crime)
Lil' Boosie - Trouble Man
Purple Ribbon Allstars - Kryptonite
Lil' Wayne - Tha Mobb
Jim Jones ft. Max B - G's Up
Purple City - It Ain't Easy
Boyz N Da Hood - Trap N*ggaz
Maino - Rumors
D4L - Do It Like Me Baby
50 Cent - Window Shopper
Three 6 Mafia ft. Young Buck & 8Ball & MJG - Stay Fly
Frayser Boy ft. Mike Jones & Paul Wall - Got Dat Drink
Maceo - Nextel Chirp
Dirt McGirt - Lift Ya Skirt
Mac Mall & Mac Dre ft. E-40 - Dredio
Paul Wall - Internet Going Nutz
M.O.P - Instigator
Ying Yang Twins - Wait (The Whisper Song)
Beanie Sigel - Feel It In The Air
P$C ft. T.I. & Lil' Scrappy - I'm A King (Remix)
Sean Price ft. Tek - Onion Head
KanYe West ft. Paul Wall, GLC & T.I. - Drive Slow (Remix)
Black Rob - Questions And Answers

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

That's a 3 hot singles every ten year average

Following on from their trifecta of Sittin' On 23z, Cali Iz Active and Y'All Know What I'm Doing in the noughties, Daz & Kurupt return with their first good single of whatever we're callin' this decade and it sounds exactly like what you'd hope a Dogg Pound X Kokane single would sound like in 2015. "You 38 and you still rappin'?" Not a problem as long as you hail from the west coast and you're not Dr. Dre - please continue, lads.

Tha Dogg Pound ft. Kokane & Snoop - Skip Skip
(From Soundcloud; 2015)

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Jimmy Spicer is the best rapper to have never dropped an album

Because why bother dropping an album when your first single found you rapping in at least 4 different voices including the most convincing Transylvanian accent since Bela Lugosi, and traveling across space & time for 14 minutes to hob-knob with Frankenstein's monster, Howard Cosell, Aladdin, the Genie of the lamp, and Superman?

Jimmy Spicer - Adventures Of Super Rhyme (Rap)
(From Adventures Of Super Rhyme (Rap) 12"; 1980)

When Spicer claimed "Planet Rhyme-on is my place of birth", it's not so much a boast as an explanation of how he appeared ex nihilo in 1980 with Adventures Of Super Rhyme (Rap) as rap's first eccentric on wax. Third single Money (Dollar Bill Y'all) is rightfully lauded as Jimmy's masterpiece, but it's on his debut single here where he really styled on motherf**kers making labyrinthine storytelling rhymes sound like off-the-dome stream of consciousness, whilst making clearly improvised ad libs sound like they'd been pre-planned to within an inch of their life.

In summary, Jay Elecwho?

Sunday, 1 March 2015

A Richmond, CA-era No Limit compilation 4 u

Some anonymous commenter zipped my Richmond-era No Limit generic list up into a 20 track RAR file. Gonna assume it was that same French lad who zipped up with my Swag Rap renaissance generic list, so give that man a round of applause for being the David Ginola to my Kevin Keegan.

Before The Big Tank & The Big Bank - A Richmond, CA No Limit Compilation

1. Master P - Somethin' Funky For The Street (1994)
2. West Coast Bad Boyz - High Fo' Xmas (1994)
3. Master P ft. Silkk - The Ghetto's Trying To Kill Me (1994)
4. Master P - Bloody Murder (1992)
5. Young Cellski ft. UNLV - Stressed Out (1994)
6. Master P & C-Murder - Hood Carols (1994)
7. Ray Luv & Tha Link Crew - Born Hustlaz (1994)
8. TRU - Ghetto Is A Trap (1993)
9. Master P ft. Simply Dre, King George & Silkk - Playa Wit Game (1995)
10. Master P - Ooh Shit (1992)
11. E-A-Ski - Straight Business (1992)
12. West Coast Bad Boyz - No Limit Party remix (1994)
13. E-A-Ski - Just For The Radio (1992)
14. The Real Untouchables - I Wear A Bullet Proof Vest (1992)
15. Master P - 99 Ways To Die (1995)
16. E-A Ski - Mama Used To Say (1992)
17. Master P & C-Murder - Christmas in da Ghetto (1994)
18. TRU - Life Of A Gangsta (1993)
19. Master P - I'm Going Big Time (1992)
20. Master P ft. RBL Posse - Tryin To Make Dollar Out Of 15 Cents (1994)


Saturday, 28 February 2015

Generic list post: february 2015

Obligatory monthly round-up posts of the songs I've been listenin' to most during the month when Zach G snitched on Chippy Nonstop and got her deported:

Tons of The Jacka (2001 - 2014)
Rich Homie Quan - Daddy (2015)
Lil' Chris - Got Her Own Shit (2015)
Wiz Khalifa - Smoke Chambers (2014)
Tink ft. Charlamagne Tha God - Around The Clock (2014)
Kevin Gates - The Law (2015)
Bandit Gang Marco - Get Low (2015)
White Gzus ft. Mic Terror - Return Of The G (2015)
Rocko - Strap On My Lap (2015)
Big Sean - Paradise (Extended) (2015)
Shaggy ft. Maxi Priest & Super Cat - Night Flight (2014)

What else? A-Wax dropped the most interesting Jacka tribute track even if it had very little replay value; Fetty Wap's new mixtape is a bag of shite other than my favourite song of january; One Time by Migos is the perfect follow-up to Fight Night in that it's a killer radio jam I'll pro'lly never listen to again of my own accord; Post Malone's White Iverson is a kinda catchy but utterly rotten viral experiment by the Cohen family & some saltine who was doing acoustic Bob Dylan cover versions in 2013; Just when Kendrick Lamar had developed his Digable Dru Down voice on i, he goes and raps like Sean Dyche on his new song The Blacker The Berry.

Thursday, 26 February 2015

Rap songs that aren't on YouTube but really should be # 5

"Skydiver, she'll swallow the whole bottle
Take your Master and your VISA got you goin' desperado
But when she go low you feelin' like you hit the lotto

Camp Lo - Material
(From Black Hollywood album; 2007)

Top 3 reasons why Material should be on the 'Tube: it's a top 5 post-Uptown Saturday Night song by the Lo; it's so luxurious you could take a bubble bath in it; it's a glaring omission from my best rap replays list and I need to make amends.

Wednesday, 25 February 2015

R.I.P to Nate Dogg, he bodied Warren G on Regulate

"I'm a real G, this ain't a movie
Cats lookin' for me, they Shaggy & Scooby"

DB Tha General - B's And C's
(From Gang Enhancement album; 2015)

Last year The Kid Ryan's No Boundaries posed an interesting question - could Regulate-core become a legitimate sub-genre of west coast rap. Finally we have an answer in the form of this new DB Tha General track - maybe, yeah. Naturally, the sun, moon and stars ensured the codification of this new offshoot genre could only happen during the same week as the Warren G X Kenny G collabo on Jimmy Kimmel.

Afraid I shan't be checking for any more new DB Tha General from hereon in due to his increasingly annoying penchant for constantly repeating his own lines in EVERY song. It's a practice that's neither big nor clever nor acceptable from anyone in 2015 unless Mike Jones passes the microphone to Albert Arkwright:

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Chippy Nonstop got kicked out of AmeriKKKa and dumped in Canada!

Hawaiian Jack, Slick Rick, Shyne, MF DOOM, DJ Kenn, Chippy Nonstop... every generation gets the rap deportation case it deserves. No shots from this side, mind - whilst Chippy might represent the absolute nadir of Godawful ironic Tumblr-rap media nepotism, at least she's never perverted the course of justice by calling Das Racist's rape victim a liar as her BFF Kitty Pryde did that time.

Here at The Martorialist we'd gladly sign the Stop Chippy Getting Deported To Canada petition under the provision that it also meant Ryan Hemsworth could never again enter the U.S to ruin once-promising rappers like Sasha Go Hard with his regurgitated Howie B album cut 8th generation trip-hop beats or DJ shows in N.Y.C that'd be completely empty if not for his 30 leech buddies from Noisey and The Fader.

Ultimately, the blame for Chippy Nonstop deportation must lie on Wavery outcast and SoulStrut whipping boy Zach G's shoulders. Things were all fine and dandy on the Visa front until Zach recorded that dis song last year where he flat-out called Chippy a hairy smelly Indian before going on to accuse David Drake, Al Shipley and Andrew Nosnitsky of being racists:

Zach G - Can't Hate Right
(From YouTube; 2014)

Monday, 23 February 2015

*Guru voice*

It's mostly tha beat which makes you flip, it's mostly that bass which reminds you of a certain 2009 song by DJ Quik:

"Pussy n*ggas hate ya when you're climbin' up the ladder
Worryin' about me, n*gga, I fucked around and lapped ya"

Rocko - Strap On My Lap
(From Expect The Unexpected mixtape; 2015)

Thank you Bas(s)ed Rocko for making a song that sounds like what I wish Young Dolph songs sounded like. Gave this one a whirl in the car yesterday afternoon and that bassline turned me and mines into the ginger kid from Adventures In Babysitting:

Sunday, 22 February 2015

Shout out to Gucci Souleymane

In the most touching display of Anglo-French unity since Gilles Grimandi stepped to Stefan Henchoz for fouling Ray Parlour that time, one of le français lads from zee rap internet turnt my Swag Rap Renaissance generic list of recent songs by Roscoe Dash, Fetty Wap, J Money & Yung L.A, Lucci, Mr.2-17, KO The God, Rae Sremmurd etc into a compilation. Download that shit HERE.

Like Officer Crabtree might have said to Rene, I hoop zey incloded zat noo Bondet Gong Merko zong too, zhough.

Friday, 20 February 2015

An Agallah compilation 4 u

After the show it's the after-party then after the party it's the hotel lobby and after Freddie Foxxx it's M.O.P then after M.O.P it's Agallah The Don B - the quintessential Brooklyn 'ardrock rapper with a gob that could strip paint and production skills to match.

If you're only familiar with Agallah as the guy from Purple City who had that song with Sean Price in the 3rd Grand Theft Auto game then this post should hopefully hip you to his history. Anything else you need to know about him is contained in this compilation which starts back in 1996 with the Alize 4 Dolo remix when he originally went by the name of 8-Off The Assassin and concludes with a couple of tracks from more recent times, including Blaze Of Glory where he checkmates Roc Marciano at his own game with his own style.

Not gonna front like I'm an Agallah expert, but I am a big fan of those moments when he does get it right and his catalogue is so ridiculously large and inconsistent that somebody needed to have a go at collating those moments when he does get it right into a 20 track best of compilation. Highlights include: The Crookie Monster is a song no other rapper could have made; the Adolf "8-Off" Agallar (Interlude) from Tony Touch's first compilation; Rising To The Top and It Ain't Easy are both top 10 NYC tracks of the noughties; Gangster might just be the missing link between Snaggapuss' freestyles on DJ Doo Wop's mixtapes and Max B's debut on Jim Jones' G's Up; the much-underrated Kraftwerk-sampling single Club Hoppin'; the aforementioned cut with Roc Marciano Blaze Of Glory.

Agallah The Joe Bish (compilation)

1. Alize 4 Dolo remix (w/ Mr Cheeks) (1996)
2. Till My Heart Stops (w/ R.A. The Rugged Man) (1997)
3. The Crookie Monster (1999)
4. 5 Star Millas (1999)
5. Adolf "8-Off" Agallar (Interlude) (2000)
6. Rising To The Top O.G version (w/ Sean Price) (2001)
7. Let's Get High (2001)
8. Telemundo (w/ Sean Price) (2001)
9. N.Y.C (w/ Ike Eyes & Sean Price) (2001)
10. Gun Go (2004)
11. Gangster (2004)
12. Rockin' (2004)
13. It Ain't Easy (w/ Shiest Bubz) (2005)
14. Picture Me Rollin' (w/ Shiest Bubz & Ike Eyez) (2006)
15. New York Ryder Music (w/ DJ Premier) (2006)
16. Club Hoppin' (2006)
17. Rap Bobby Fischer (2010)
18. Treez 4 Xmas (2011)
19. Blaze Of Glory (w/ Roc Marciano) (2013)
20. Vange (2014)


Plumped for the O.G Rising To The Top with Agallah sangin' the hook not to be a contrarian but simply because it's the superior version of the song. Feel free to swap it if you've grown up with the GTA III incarnation, otherwise you're best to stick with this version.

Thursday, 19 February 2015

This is the first Bandit Gang Marco I'd pay 99p for if it weren't on a free Livemixtapes release

Bandit Gang Marco - Get Low
(From You Don't Know Me mixtape; 2015)

Linking two birds with one post here since Get Low by Bandit Gang Marco is both a notable addition to the Swag-Rap renaissance canon AND a pertinent reminder that Illegal Alien by Genesis is a song/video which actually happened IRL and not just inside Phil Collins' brain.

Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Fettle down

Fetty Wap might be the first east coast rap dude to be able to trot out the tired old "I'm not a rapper" cliche and actually have a point to stand on: his vocal stylings on Trap Queen and RGF Island are far closer to Mavado than they are Max B, Westwood is currently making excellent use of Trap Queen in his sets as the ideal transitional record between rap and bashment, and RGF Island sounds like it'd be best experienced as you're stood on Jamaica's Blue Mountain peak busting 2 semi-automatic weapons into the sky in orgasmic joy like you're Stitches in the Brick In Yo' Face video.

Fetty Wap - RGF Island
(From Soundcloud; 2015)

Linked this one in passing twice now but it definitely deserves a post of its own, dunnit?

Monday, 16 February 2015

Generic list post: No Limit Richmond, California edition

Far be it from me to suggest what the Grand Imperial Percy Miller should be doing with his money in 2015, but surely his disposable income would be far wisely spent paying to upload the Richmond, CA-era No Limit Records back catalogue to iTunes/Amazon/Spotify than shooting videos with n-bomb dropping AZNs for the Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull runt of the Bout It song franchise? After all, how can the chil'ren truly get caught up in the magic of the festive season if they've never heard the West Coast Bad Boyz High Fo' Xmas album?

Strictly 4 the K.I.D.Z here's a generic list post of 20 essential No Limit tracks from the Richmond-era that'll make you howl with laughter at their black comedy one minute and then stun you into silence the next with their vivid depictions of the dangers of being a black man in AmeriKKKa. Never has anyone in rap made biting sound as effective a blueprint as the brothers Miller & their Richmond cronies who were blatantly pillaging the rap personas, song concepts, rhymes styles, and production choices of the popular Ruthless/Rap-A-Lot/Death Row gangsta-rappers of the day, but doing so in the most eccentric and distinctive manner that they ended up being pioneers of low-budget northern California Mob Music.

1. Master P - Somethin' Funky For The Street (1994)
2. West Coast Bad Boyz - High Fo' Xmas (1994)
3. Master P ft. Silkk - The Ghetto's Trying To Kill Me (1994)
4. Master P - Bloody Murder (1992)
5. Young Cellski ft. UNLV - Stressed Out (1994)
6. Master P & C-Murder - Hood Carols (1994)
7. Ray Luv & Tha Link Crew - Born Hustlaz (1994)
8. TRU - Ghetto Is A Trap (1993)
9. Master P ft. Simply Dre, King George & Silkk - Playa Wit Game (1995)
10. Master P - Ooh Shit (1992)
11. E-A-Ski - Straight Business (1992)
12. West Coast Bad Boyz - No Limit Party remix (1994)
13. E-A-Ski - Just For The Radio (1992)
14. The Real Untouchables - I Wear A Bullet Proof Vest (1992)
15. Master P - 99 Ways To Die (1995)
16. E-A Ski - Mama Used To Say (1992)
17. Master P & C-Murder - Christmas in da Ghetto (1994)
18. TRU - Life Of A Gangsta (1993)
19. Master P - I'm Going Big Time (1992)
20. Master P ft. RBL Posse - Tryin To Make Dollar Out Of 15 Cents (1994)

(Strictly 4 My P.E.D.A.N.T.Z: a handful of these tracks by P, The Real Untouchables, and E-A-Ski weren't originally released on No Limit back then, but they're still absolutely canonical and would bear the official No Limit stamp in the late '90s when were reissued by Percy's then burgeoning national empire.)

Sunday, 15 February 2015

It's Lil' Chris who smells of the onion rings in this relationship

"Gurl, I ain't Future but I'm lookin' for ya
Head so good, got me cookin' for ya
Pussy smell good like detergent
Pussy so tight like a virgin"

Lil' Chris - Got Her Own Shit
(From Made It Thru The Struggle mixtape; 2015)

Because if there's one quality a man wants from his independent woman, it's the aroma of Dettol wafting from between her legs. Production on this highlight of the new Lil' Chris mixtape sounds like what would happen if Stephen Hawking's electronic voice generator thingymebob actually caught up to the speed of his alpha waves. Like the first comment on Soundcloud succinctly sez - 1st time hearin some shit like this str8 heat too.

Coming soon: the top 5 Lil' Chris video GIFs that shoulda been Vine hits.

Saturday, 14 February 2015

Musical Youth's debut LP aside, Reggae was a terrible genre until 1993

1993 being the year when Shaggy released Oh Carolina and Super Cat dropped the Bad Boy remix of Dolly My Baby.

22 years on from Oh Carolina, Shaggy is still Reggae's saving grace: Night Shift is the song which finally makes amends for him & Maxi Priest not recording a remix of That Girl with Super Cat back in 1996, and his return to form is the only thing that can possibly save the genre from the indignity of Drake's unfunny ginger mate OB O'Brien speaking in patois on Schemin' Up. How is this not number 1 on the pop charts in at least 27 different countries?

Shaggy ft. Maxi Priest & Super Cat - Night Flight
(From Out of Many, One Music (XL Edition) album; 2014)

Conclusive proof the music internet was useless in 2014: everyone went apeshit over D'Angelo's comeback album even though it only contained four good songs, yet nobody noticed Shaggy dropped his hottest joint in over a decade until one of the Irish lads from that ILX message board posted it this week.

Friday, 13 February 2015

Generic list post: february the 13th

Is your significant other basic enough to wanna drag you along to the 50 Shades Of Grey movie this weekend? Never fear because ya boy Quepid is here to ease your pain with another pre-Valentine's Day romantic-rap generic list post for all lovers and haters alike. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore! But when that Loon cameo hits their g-spots like one of Betty from Corrie's hotpots, that's a Martorialist lover's rap playlist!

LL Cool J - I Need Love (1987)
Jagged Edge ft. Jermaine Dupri & Loon - Promise (So So Def remix) (2000)
Baby Bash ft. Frankie J - Suga Suga (2003)
Snoop - Sensual Seduction (2007)
A-Mafia - Love Train (2011)
Salt 'N' Pepa ft. En Vogue - Whatta Man (1994)
Twista ft. KanYe West & Jamie Foxx - Slow Jamz (2003)
Legit Ballaz ft. Dejion - Ride Slow (2006)
Kurtis Blow - Hello Baby (1985)
A-Wax - If Time Was... (2004)
Mannie Fresh ft. Lil' Wayne - Lady Lady (2004)
Jennifer Lopez ft. 50 Cent - I'm Gonna Be Alright (Track Masters remix) (2002)
Dude 'n Nem - McDonalds (2007)
Bobby Brackins - Jon And Kate Plus 8 (2010)
Kid Capri - Whisper (1991)
Mary J. Blige ft. Kid Capri - Love No Limit remix (1993)
Rich Kidz - Sunrise (Interlude) (2012)
Rich Gang ft. Rich Homie Quan - Milk Marie (2014)
P Diddy ft. Ginuwine, Loon & Mario Winans - I Need A Girl (Part 2) (2002)
Fetty Wap - Trap Queen (2014)

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Re-Up Gong

The Divshare links for those 2 unreleased MobStyle tracks their producer Fred Flak hooked me up with a couple of years back have long since expired so I upped 'um to Audiomack. Both were recorded in 1989 for MobStyle's The Good, The Bad, The Ugly album but neither ended up being used. Sadface emoji @ Azie's "we got 'Po, still runnin' the show/Rich, on top of a bitch" line during the third verse of Cypher - perhaps the most tragic "it was all good just a week ago" couplet in all of rap?

MobStyle - Cypher
(From Fred Flak's vaults; 1989)

MobStyle - Freestyle
(From Fred Flak's vaults; 1989)

On the real, if the N.W.A biopic doesn't include a reenactment of when they were chased offstage at the Apollo by Pretty Tone Capone from MobStyle & a bunch of his goons then the movie is some sentimental Hollywood revisionism and the only thing that can save it now is if they do the sensible thing and let Iggy Azalea fulfill her destiny by playing Tarrie B in a movie.

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

This is the first Tink song I've paid 99p for

Tink ft. Charlamagne Tha God - Around The Clock
(From Around The Clock single; 2014)

Still spendin' money from 2008, still findin' songs from 2014 I'd missed previously. Almost drowned in the sea of unmerited praise for Tink this past year or so, but ol' girl's the recipient of the best Timbaland beat in donkey's years with Around There Clock here and she's got that rebirth of Ladybug Mecca flow goin' on - 68 inches above sea level, 93 million miles above these Dej Loafs.

Or Dana Dej/Tink Got Gunz/Cruella Black as that biter is known around these parts.

Monday, 9 February 2015

A Spoonie Gee compilation 4 u

Here's a compilation of songs by Harlem's knight in white linen Spoonie Gee. As rap's O.G smooth-talking convivial raconteur and the first rapper to rhyme in his own mellifluous God-given voice, Spoonie birthed Uptown legends like Ma$e and Max B as well as G.O.A.T's like Slick Rick and Too $hort. Rhyming in his own dulcet tones also gave him an advantage over his fellow class of 1979 rappers, in that his flow always never sounded dated throughout rap's ever-changing sonic backdrop's of the '80s, whereas his more stentorian peers such as Melle Mel and Kurtis Blow were left floundering by 1985 give or take the odd Free Style.

What you'll find on this compilation: his three early disco-band classics as well as his two more polished disco-band recordings for Sugar Hill Records, a 1982 live routine as over the break from Liquid Liquid's Cavern, the two mid-80s tracks with Davy DMX behind the boards, his one stellar song from the 1985/1986 drum-machine era, Teddy Riley's ghost-remix of Take It Off with those Go-Go drums that were the trademark tic of his productions between 1985 - 1987, and a trifecta of his golden-era tracks with Marley Marl working his magic on the production tip. Find 'em all below like you're trapped in a virtual reality Manic Miner:

Spoonie Gee - Harlem Knight In White Linen (compilation)

1. Spoonin' Rap (1979)
2. Love Rap (1980)
3. The New Rap Language (w/ The Treacherous Three) (1980)
4. Monster Jam (w/ The Sequence) (1980)
5. Spoonie Is Back (1981)
6. Sex (live at Danceteria) (1982)
7. The Big Beat (1983)
8. Street Girl (1985)
9. Get Off My Tip (1985)
10. Take It Off remix (1986)
11. Spoonie Gee (1987)
12. The Godfather (1987)
13. She's My Girl (1987)


If you wanna explore the Spoonie Gee catalogue any further then you're gonna have to go discover them 1987 new rap swing tracks with Teddy Riley for yourselves - Did You Come To Party would be the best one to start with, and you'd have to be rollin' like Davros or Degrassi Drake not to bust into the Cabbage Patch when you first hear I'm All Shook Up.