Tuesday, 22 July 2014

Ambitionz Az A Shaun Ryder

"I'm in the field, 2 sticks on me
2 bricks on me
Consequences and repercussions - it get sick, homie"

DB Tha General - Is He Really Real?
(From The Book Of Secrets album; 2014)

Is ya boy trippin' or is the beat on this cut from DB's new album based on some Happy Mondays song? If so, wow, something good has finally arisen from the toxic nadir of post-WW2 British culture that was Madchester.

Ian Brown's crimes are just as heinous as the crimes committed by Ian Brady, Ian Huntley, and Ian Watkins, IMHO.

Monday, 21 July 2014

Lots of people say they don't listen to Kid Ink. They do.

Respectfully submitted for your perusal - the fake Chris Brown's other good song. Length: a little over 3 minutes and 25 seconds. Guest: the one rapper who preferred Missy Elliot's drop-crotch binbag suit to Bad Boy's bacofoil shiny suits. Origin: whatever the fake Chris Brown's album is called. Motives for posting this? Therein hangs the tale, for in just a moment, we're going to ask you to shake hands, figuratively, with the notion of the fake Chris Brown having made two more good songs than Schoolboy Q ever has, and the concrete reality of No Option sounding like what Drake would sound like if he didn't grow up drinking milk out of plastic bags. This is The Martorialist.

Kid Ink ft. King Los - No Option
(The internet; 2013/whatever Kid Ink's album is called; 2014)

Sunday, 20 July 2014

You mention me? You better jump a fence from me!

Copywrite's recent bullshit "yo son, I got 5 DUIs and Stone Cold Stunnered a cop so I'm going to jail until november!" publicity stunt to promote his new Amalgam Digital album has just reminded me that he was featured of one of my low-key favourite 12" singles on Fondle 'Em Records with the other bloke from MHz who wasn't Camu Tao. If Ratchet production is the great leveler of rappers nowadays then moody piano samples were the great equaliser during the 1997 - 2002 indie-rap era:

"Stay outta the section when I'm lacin' joints
Any suggestion of battlin' is outta the question like an exclamation point"

Jakki Tha Motamouth ft. Copywrite - Widespread
(From Widespread 12"; 2000/MHZ's Table Scraps compilation CD; 2001)

Related: Why couldn't God have taken Copywrite instead of Camu Tao????

Friday, 18 July 2014

There's Levels to this shit

What do rodents say when they play bingo?

'Eyes down for a full mouse'!

That was my favourite Mouse joke of all time, this is the new Mouse On Tha Track full length Air Time:

If you read this site, chances are you're already versed in what to expect from a new Mouse release, so the only insight I need to offer you is that you should probably add Level & Mouse's Get It Back onto the tracklist and pretend its a retail-only bonus song:

Level ft. Mouse On Tha Mouse - Get It Back
(From Unsupervised album; 2013)

PS: yes, Liberation (The Cut) is really about Mouse chopping his dreads off. Regardless of whether you like his music or not, you gotta admit that Mouse is one of the few rappers out currently who can get away with making a song about getting his hair cut. Imagine such a topic in the hands of Stalley or one of PeeWee LongWay's shirtless mates and shudder.

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Logjams on multiple levels

Probably gonna rename this site Random West Coast Slaps Found On Thizzler, Siccness or Digital Dripped because that's all ya boy Nate Patrin Dogg right chea seems to be posting this summer. The thing is, California rap is so ~on~ right now that even the 3.5/5 tracks like this posse-cut below are 4.5/5 tracks compared to what's coming out of every other region:

"I got an old bitch
I got a new bitch
I even got a few bitches I went to school with
I got a mixed bitch, I got a black bitch
But one thing I never had was a wack bitch..."

City Shawn ft. D-Lo & Show Banga - Bitches
(From the internet; 2014)

One of my nan's favourite saying was that it's better to have too much of something than too little and City Shawn, D-Lo & Show Banga are out chea keeping her spirit alive with this Bitches thlap. If you were bummed-out that Philthy Rich discontinued his _ Bitches At The Same Time series in 2012 after its third installment then this is the jam 4 u.

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

Her Mistakez?

From A-Wax's Instagram:

That's beautiful. If this marriage doesn't last it'll only be because of the dude arguing about how Buffalo Bill has more knock factor in the whip than Gun Range during their trips to the supermarket every saturday morning.


If, like me, one of your fantasy rap match-ups is an S.D.E song with Cam and Lil' Kim exchanging flirtatious zings like Mary & Puba on What's The 411? then this new unreleased Cam song with Nicki is as close as we're ever gonna get to that dream coming to fruition. No idea who produced this but that beat really does sound like a lost Darrell "Digga" Branch beat from the S.D.E sessions, dunnit?

"How you runnin' 'round frontin' like you paid in full?
My n*gga, you ain't Rico, this ain't Paid In Full!"

Cam'Ron ft. Nicki Minaj & Yummy - So Bad
(From the vaults; 20??/the internet; 2014)

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Orson Welles told Henry Jaglom that Laurence Olivier used to jerk off to his own reflection in teh mirror

"Say I look better in person
Cheated on her man but she told me it's worth it"

Kool John ft. P-Lo - Bitch I Look Good
(From the upcoming Shmop City mixtape; 2014)

File this under ‘most of the best HBK slaps have some sort of 1995 - 2004 Ca$h Money influence’ and ‘also see: She Ready, Is That Yo' Hoe?, the 100 Grand remix and Heal The World.’

Monday, 14 July 2014

Generic list post: K-Klass songs DJ Mustard should use

Yo DJ Mustard, I'm really happy you used Robin S & Snap! and I'ma let you finish, but K-Klass got one of the best discographies in House music of all time! One of the best discographies in House music of all time!

For all y'all uncultured infidels who use the term EDM without a hint of embarrassment, here's the dilly, yo: K-Klass were the greatest non-Chicagoan House group ever because they understood that the absolute zenith of House music is the piano intro to Marshall Jefferson's Move Your Body. Imagine a Daft Punk who'd ever had an original idea, a Daft Punk who'd ever made more than 4 good songs, a Daft Punk who weren't a couple of poncey French blokes who make dance music for people who usually think that dance music is gay and/or dumb... that's K-Klass.

So, here's 10 songs from K-Klass' labyrinthine oeuvre that are ripe for sampling now we're on the cusp of a Hip-House revival. List is a 60/40 split of their own club classic singles and their incredible remixes of artists from other genres which never failed to make the original songs superfluous thereafter:

K-Klass - Rhythm Is A Mystery
Bobby Brown - Two Can Play That Game (K-Klassic mix)
K-Klass - Why
K-Klass - Let Me Show You
Joe Roberts - Lover (K-Klass Klub Mix)
K-Klass - Don't Stop
M People - Love Rendezvous (K-Klass Klub Mix)
K-Klass - So Right
Blondie - Rapture (K-Klass Klub Mix)
K-Klass - What You're Missing
Janet Jackson & Luther Vandross - The Best Things in Life Are Free (K-Klass mix)

On a list-related note, check out this Shout Out songs (1990 - 1994) compilation on Hot Box. Only notable omissions I can think of currently are Dedication by Brand Nubian and The Shout-Outs by Kid Capri.

Sunday, 13 July 2014

Luncheon music

Like I suggested already, Ratchet is already destined to be the most important sound of this decade because it's the great leveler of rappers. New case in point: even everyone's least-favourite Jacka weed-carrier Street Knowledge now has a legitimate 4/5 jam to his name thanks to this blumper by June On The Beat.

"Ladder on my hammer, banana on my choppa
Masked up, Phantom of The Opera
Gassed up, with a cannon in my boxers
Mobbed out with a brand new ham sammich for my patna"

Street Knowledge - 40 Witta 30
(From 40 Witta 30 single; 2014)

June On The Beat was also responsible for I Been That by Show Banga & Sage The Gemini so he's probably a producer I should pay more attention to. Will Paypal a fiver to anyone who comes through with a list of June On The Beat slaps.

Saturday, 12 July 2014

lol Percy

It's that moment every TRU No Limit Soldier has been waitin' for since the Grand Imperial Percy Miller returned to the rap game a couple of years back: P & his newly-hired goon squad going Ratchet over Poundland DJ Mustard beats for -- how perfect an historical parallel is this? -- the upcoming sequel to Ice Cream Man:

"Throwing money like it's pizza
N*gga runnin' round, hoes say they wanna meetcha
Bad bitches on a n*gga like Keyshia
N*gga might ghostride to the preacher"

Master P ft. Eastwood & Travis Kr8ts - Too Real
(From Ice Cream Man 2 album; 2014)

Invasion of the Paranoid snatchers! The only difference is this is at least a gazillion times better than the B.o.B version.

Friday, 11 July 2014

The inverse Gentle Jones

Is it a turd? Is it a train? Nope, it's another 2014 rap song which happens to be inspired by I Need A Freak:

"I got the swag of a high school jock, bitch
Reason why the whip topless
Seldom seen, don't come across this.."

Smoov-E ft. Clyde Carson - What's It Gonna Be?
(From What's It Gonna Be? single; 2014)

What's It Gonna Be sounds like it was born to be slapped alongside Game's new Don't Fight The Feeling homage, but, eh, Smoov-E has previously displayed some very dodgy South Park Mexican-type tendencies he revisits here. Dude might need Julienne Shepherd on his team to hush that story up if it turns out he's really 'bout dat Mickey Mars Bar life.

Thursday, 10 July 2014

No Sky Sports

"Let's keep it real, Stunna: when's the last time you been to Super Sunday?

They might not know what I'm talkin' 'bout, but I know what I'm talkin' 'bout.."

Ain't gon' lie, I didn't know what Gillie Da Kid was talkin' 'bout either until coming across Supa Sunday In N.O when gettin' familiar with 5th Ward Weebie's full discography on Spotify recently. Is this the most Louisiana-sounding Louisiana rap song of the noughties or wot?

"Everybody's on the scene, baby mommas and all
You got your junkies, your winos, big timers and all
You got your bitch folk, your rich folk, and n*ggas like me
Who got 10 in his pocket but he wearing a G"

5th Ward Weebie - Supa Sunday In N.O
(From Da Unexpected album; 2003)

P.S. There's now a live acapella preview of Let Me Find Out Part 2 on YouTube.

Wednesday, 9 July 2014

B.o.B makes good song in 2014 shocker!!!

Are fiddles officially a thing in Atlanta rap again? It's ya boy Nigel Duddy Kennedy:

B.o.B ft. Ty Dolla $ign - Drunk AF
(From No Genre 2 mixtape; 2014)

Gonna take this as Ty Dolla $ign & B.o.B's official apology for ruining Paranoid.

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

An appreciation of AZ's shelved Final Call album (sorta)

It's now been a decade since AZ's annus horribilis of 2004 where his friendship with Cam'Ron resulted in Nas not clearing Serious for AZ's Final Call album before the album leaked onto the internet months before its release date to scathing reviews from XXL causing AZ to scrap the entire project. A handful of its tracks would later go on to fan-favourites which appeared on various unofficial compilations & as bonus tracks on official albums, and the entire album eventually got Lost Tapes-billed CD release on Koch Records 4 years later in 2008, but unless you're a hardcore AZ maven this entire story probably passed you by, and the album currently finds itself in danger of being relegated from the Comparative Obscurity subsection of the noughties New York rap canon into the depths of Complete Oblivion.

Serious was the first track since How Ya Livin' where Nas outrapped AZ so it's probably best left as an unofficial entry in the Anthony Cruz catalogue, and shelving Final Call was a rash decision on AZ's part when the album was cut from the same Coogi sweater & Evisu denim cloth as his previous full-length Aziatic and contained a bunch of great songs which he could've condensed down into an EP and then sold independently in New York as he'd done 4 years earlier with S.O.S.A promo CD when he faced similar issues after departing from his Noo Trybe Records deal.

You can't buy Final Call or anything from it on iTunes/Amazon etc because AZ had a fall out with Bob Perry, and all the RAR file links to it are probably dead at this point, so ya boy Ho Hattie Collins right chea whittled it down to its essentials and uploaded the results for doz dat slept. No Magic Hour because CL Smooth sounds like a Tomtit on a round of beef over that beat, no You Know even though I love it because it might be a bit too Rap & Bullshit for all y'all savages, and I ripped No Strings Attached from the Anthology compilation because it's mastered better than the one on Final Call.

AZ - Final Call (EP edit)

1. Live Wire
2. Talkin' Gangsta
3. Seems That Way
4. I am AZ
5. No Strings Attached
6. Omega
7. The Truth


Sunday, 6 July 2014

Don't fight the stealing

File this under ‘songs I never would've listened to on the internet which sound so right as radio jams on Westwood’ and ‘lol @ Game now being a more popular rapper than 50’:

Game ft. Too $hort, Problem, AV & Eric Bellinger - Or Nah
(From whatever Game's next album is called; 2014)

Mercifully, this is a sneaky homage to Too $hort's Don't Fight The Feeling rather than the throwaway beatjack of Ty$ & Wiz Khalifa's last single you'd expect it to be with that title. A+++ will definitely enjoy hearing this throughout the summer of 2014, though it's obviously not a patch on Suga Free's reimagining of Don't Fight The Feeling.

Saturday, 5 July 2014

Old man yells at (Sound)Cloud

Taken from SoundCloud, two west coast joints with samples from the G-Funk era that both totally sound like now, even if now happens to be an overcast saturday morning. Throw these tracks into your playlist next to YG & TeeFlii's Do It To Ya and, et voilà, you too can feel like Yukmouth & Numskull at the pool party in the I Got 5 On It video:

IamSu! ft. 2 Chainz & Sage The Gemini - Only That Real (Back 2 Cali Remix)
(From DJ B Cause's SoundCloud; 2014)

The Kid Ryan ft. Problem & Mr Smith - No Boundaries
(From The Young California SoundCloud; 2014)

The original Only That Real sounded too stiff and cheerless for ya boy Dianne ONYXberry so this remix corrects both of those problems, and No Boundaries needs to blow up to atone for Problem getting his verse cut from the definitive version of 2014's best Ratchet & Bullshit song.

Friday, 4 July 2014

Ya shoulda killed me after the 2nd Body Count album

Ice-T - Ya Shoulda Killed Me Last Year/M.V.P.s
(From the O.G. Original Gangster VHS tape; 1991)

Here at The Martorialist, we've forgiven Ice-T a multitude of transgressions over the years -- giving Everlast his start in rap, dressing up as a kangaroo in Tank Girl, dumping Darlene for a skanky caucasoid like CoCo, pretending to laugh at Philip Schofield's shit jokes on All Star Mr & Mrs, claiming Lupe Fiasco is a superior artist to Soulja Boy --, but in today's Guardian he committed the ultimate cardinal sin of sweating that bloke who's both the worst rapper of all time and a cardboard tough-guy who got the shit beaten out of him by a teenage Filipino who later found fame on the internet filming himself sucking tranny's dicks:

R.I.P big man. We'll always have that time I turned up at school on non-uniform day with a chain around my waist like you on the back cover of O.G.

Wednesday, 2 July 2014

The Blurbs

"Ray, this is Walter!"

This was me the first time I heard Cardan's Feelin' It from his shelved 1999 album Hey Young World. Feelin' It is a song of contrasting fortunes for its authors, where Ma$e's former shiny suit folder from Harlem World probably still cries himself to sleep over it never coming out as his follow-up single to Jam On It, Pharrell clearly thanks his lucky stars it was never officially released so he could rework and reuse elements of the song for two of his biggest hits of the noughties: that Justin Timberlake McDonalds commercial song and Snoop's Drop It Like It's Hot.

"Knockin' Computer Love mixed with Super Thug"

Cardan ft. Pharrell - Feelin' It
(From Hey Young World album; 1999)

Some pub-quiz trivia for datazz there. Main reason for this post, though, is that I recently stumbled on the no-DJ version of Cardan & Ma$e's mixtape minor classic Time Is Money. Cardan made an awfully good Ricky Butler to Ma$e's Lt. Mark Rumsfield, and Time Is Money is a quintessential proto-Jiggy Harlem deep cut from that transitional period between street favourites like American Dream and Creep, and legitimate hits like Feel So Good and Horse And Carriage.

"Got keys I leave my n*ggas for when I'm gone
Butlers that bring me buffets after dawn
6 Mexicans get paid to mow my lawn"

Cardan ft. Ma$e - Time Is Money
(From DJ Clue's New Acuzations mixtape; 1997)