Monday, 8 August 2022

No love for boppers, they smell like cocks

Texas Boyz - Awready
(From Digital Playaz EP; 2022)

I presume Awready by Texas Boyz is a budding viral hit because it's been regularly popping up in random Instagram stories for the past month or so. Big grower tune for me where the "EUREKA!" moment came when I realised it sounds like Z Money & Bandman Kevo if they were signed to Swisha House Records. 281-330-8004, hit Texas Boyz up on the low because Texas Boyz caught Mike Jones' holy ghost.

Bonus Beats: Know What I'm Saying was my jam from Mike Jones' first album. Evidently Max B agreed with me because he beatjacked it for one of the highlights of Public Domain (The Prequel).

Max B - Have U Seen Her?
(From Public Domain (The Prequel) mixtape; 2007)

Immaculate taste that fella... and Max's taste ain't bad either tbf.

Saturday, 6 August 2022

Boricua's Way

Tony Touch ft. Doo Wop & Pain In Da Ass - The Return Of The Diaz Brothers
(From The Piece Maker compilation; 2000)

Tony Touch & Doo Wop were tighter than Carlito & Lalin, nah mean? Here at The Martorialist we've got a lotta lotta love for the second single from Tony's first compilation. On The Return Of The Diaz Brothers Tony & Wop were like a rapping DJ version of The Beatnuts who let Pain In Da Ass deliver his greatest Tony Montana ad libbing on a song. Tommy Boy Records clearly gave Tony a budget with oodles of 0's to be able to sample Salsation and to shoot a fancy video in Miami featuring Angel "Chi Chi from Scarface" Salazar. Plus, it was a return of The Diaz Brothers foreal foreal because they were the second Hip-Hop duo to adopt the moniker of those infamous characters from Scarface folklore.

Bonus boricua beats: just like Carlito's barrio, the video for Homeboy Sandman's Enough ya no existe since he threw a hissy fit and deleted his YouTube account last year. Fortunately it reappeared on his VEVO page a few days ago and I do mean fortunately because it's such a funny little no-budget video with Sandman, J-Live & Kurious all unintentionally dressed like uncles as they rhyme each other's verses. In theory, a song built on a drumless acoustic folk guitar sample should be earbola to me; in reality, it was the first Homeboy Sandman song to catch my ear back in 2014 - some EZ-Elpee Listening type shit.

Homeboy Sandman ft. J-Live & Kurious - Enough
(From Hallways album; 2014)

Sandman took Kurious' "worse than drugs, yeah, stress is a disease" line to heart and turned it into an album.

Wednesday, 3 August 2022

Born To Audiomack: Eatem's Greatest Pressure

When he's not reactivating banned Instagram accounts for the likes of Boosie, NBA Youngboy, WNC Whop Bezzy and OMB Peezy, Eatem is out here making some of the best Baton Rouge Rap music of recent times. For doz who've slept: Eatem looks like Percy Tragedy and makes fun rowdy southern anthems in the vein of Treal Lee & Prince Rick. He fits into the current Rap game as Baton Rouge's equivalent of Duke Deuce, but with different angles to his bangers like triangle isosceles. I woke up screaming "FORK THE WORLD" and decided to compile my favourite Eatem singles into a playlist, starting with 2016's Trophy and ending with his latest single Magical. Life is a Big Mac and bloggas come up and say "you did that?" So, chow down with me - everybody eats, B.

~~ Eatem's Greatest Pressure ~~
1. Trophy (2016)
2. Get The Roid (2016)
3. Side N*gga (ft. Spitta) (2018)
4. Whoop Sum (2019)
5. Hit Da Drank Twice (ft. Lil' Larry) (2019)
6. Spent It All (2019)
7. Wats Wrong With Em (2020)
8. Go Get Yo F*ckin' Brotha (2021)
9. Cup Of Tea (2021)
10. Lil' Phat Flow (2022)
11. Magical (ft. BR Cowboy) (2022)

All original songs except for his Hit The Quan beatjack Get The Roid which should be recognised as the official version IMHO. You don't rework, you don't eat.

Sunday, 31 July 2022

Generic list post: July 2022

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when male music critics embarrassed themselves by pretending to enjoy and have serious earnest opinionz about Beyonce albums again.

Cam'Ron ft. Lil' Cease - Hustler (1999)
Timbaland & Magoo ft. Attitude - Leavin' (2003)
Mac Dre & Zion I - Roll On Out (2007)
Stunnaman02 & DrewBanga - Wit' A Twist (2022)
Duke Deuce - I Get Crunk (2022)
Mr. 2-17 - Still Spaz'n (2022)
Z Money - Lyin' On Oath (2022)
Burna Boy ft. J Hus - Cloak & Dagger (2022)
Beabadoobee - The Perfect Pair (2022)
The Chats - I've Been Drunk In Every Pub In Brisbane (2022)

Other notables: GloRilla's Tomorrow is more like the B-Side to FNF (Let's Go) than it's follow-up single; here I was thinking we might get a Doja Cat X Homeboy Sandman collaboration and instead we got Lizzo X Quelle Chris & Chris Keys.

Further reading: me on my top 22 songs of 2022 so far, on why New Yorkers are terrible guardians of their own Rap galaxy, and on how a certain INXS song inspired a certain Prince song. Plus there's Party Sparty on the best Giallo soundtrack cuts. Oh, and then there's me again on my favourite TV show ever coming to an end.

Saturday, 30 July 2022

I Wonder If Heaven Got A Cul-De-Sac In A Fictional Suburb Of Australia?

This is worse than when Michael Owen got those two late goals in the 2001 F.A Cup final. My favourite TV show of all faded to black forever ever last night and I feel like my dog died in front of me again. What am I to do? I'm crying over Karl & Susan Kennedy and I'm feelin' blue. Other than Rap music and football, Neighbours has been an only constant in my life since 1988. Why couldn't God have taken Eastenders or Home & Away instead?

Neighbours was famed for being the Aussie soap opera which was bigger in Britain than its homeland, and for introducing the world to Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, Kylie Minogue, Ben Mendelsohn, Alan Dale, Natalie Imbruglia, Holly Valance, Margot Robbie, Jesse Spencer, the Hemsworth brothers, and that bird who played Annalise (but not Iggy Azalea!) And every last one of them should all be thankful for Neighbours because without the show they'd probably be shearing sheep or advertising Vegemite for a living instead. But for me, Neighbours was deeper than that: Australian ex-pats who live in Britain are the W.O.A.T, but Australians in Australia are an entirely different proposition - the temperature is Californian, but their temperament is British, and so this weird cultural identity crisis with its own unique customs and slanguage has been best expressed in music like Bon Scott-era AC/DC and The Chats, movies like Wake In Fright and Idiot Box, and TV shows like Round The Twist and Underbelly. Neighbours was a more wholesome expression of this dicthomy, and in its teatime TV slot acted as chewing gum for my eyes and comfort food for my soul AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!

Any old prestige HBO TV show can be engaging, entertaining, and emotionally-involving for five or so series. To be all that & a bag of Macadamia nuts five days a week for 37 years? David's Chase and Simon could never. And that is why Neighbours was proper ritualistic Transcendental Television™. It's the end of an avvo for Paul Robinson's neighbourhood. Pour out a little Aussie beer of your choosing for the show I loved so much I could even forgive it giving cameos to Lily Allen and Russell Brand.
How had I been watching Neighbours so long but only just found out the bloke who played Doug Willis is Jason Donovan's IRL dad?

Thursday, 28 July 2022

Saturday Knight Fever

"F*ck a Suge Knight, I'm tryna have a good night
I'm tryna hit this n*gga Drew - you in the 'hood, right?"

Stunnaman02 & DrewBanga - Wit' A Twist
(From It's Big album; 2022)

F*ck a Suge Knight, I'm tryna have a good night are words to live by. Roll Wit' It is my jam from Stunnaman02 & DrewBanga's EP, but I got love for Wit' A Twist too. NorCal Rap needs more Flamenco-guitar type Dreganomics.

Mac Dre - Dreganomics
(From Ronald Dregan album; 2004)

When some brick shithouse bouncer ejects you from the bar for throwing Skittles at the DJ because he's playing multiple Drake songs in a row that's a f*ck a Suge Knight, I'm tryna have a good night moment. Follow me now, let me lead the way, if you gon' believe in somethin', believe in NoDrake. It's only civilised that we can live our lives without hearing a whiney Canadian guy, nights out royally spoiled by that nonce's music, NoDrakeganomics.

Tuesday, 26 July 2022

My Mind Spray 4

This picture of Mac Dre in Hawaii was a physical manifestation of his "I want my own Island, betcha ima get it" lyric.

I thought Flo Milli was in danger of becoming into the new OMB Peezy: a young Alabama upstart who got brainwashed into making boring Spotify playlist fodder. Turns out she's #actually the new Beastie Boys: as the bratty belligerence disappears, so does the magic. Her new album got a couple of jams, but she's mostly lost what made her unique: that she was a hoodrat Angelica from Rugrats.

Tired: CD reissues of every every mediocre regional '90s G-Funk album. Wired: CD reissues of no-DJ versions of Max B's late '00s mixtapes.

Another reason why New Yorkers are such terrible authorities on their own Rap music: they've been bodied at documenting their own '80s history by a guy from Virginia.

If some music critic writes a Wasn't Timbaland brilliant? article and doesn't mention any of the Timbaland & Magoo singles then, to misquote Magoo himself, that music critic got no taste, we fart on your thinkpiece. Yeah, Magoo has a funny voice, but so does Kendrick Lamar and some of you ponces swear he's The Most Important Artiste Of This Generation™.

If the clothes really do maketh the man then these jeans explain why 70th Street Carlos' music is such a confused mess nowadays.

DJ Vlad and Joe Budden have made me hate Rap gossip, but I'd still love to hear the full unedited version of Mad Skillz Ghost Writer. Scandalous when it dropped, it's one of my favourite Rawkus Records singles and 22 years later it still works as a Rap industry cryptic crossword even though some of the blanks have been filled in.

Mad Skillz ft. DJ Fusion - Ghost Writer
(From Ghost Writer 12" single; 2000)

Sunday, 24 July 2022

What a Div'

Three Times Dope - Funky Dividends
(From Original Stylin' album; 1988)

It's thanks to the sample from Delagation's Oh Honey that Three Times Dope's Funky Dividends is one of the G.O.A.T summer day songs which isn't #actully a summer day song. Funky Dividends begins as a postscript to Spoonie Gee's Love Rap and ends as a precursor to Sporty Thievz' Cheapskate (You Ain't Gettin' Nada). Top 10 Philly Rap single of all time or wot?

Thursday, 21 July 2022

Generic list post: 22 from 2022

22 songs from 2022 which are too hot like Coolio and the current weather. Basically, this is my slightly belated best songs of the first half of 2022 list. No particular order of preference, and contains 2 British Rap songs and 3 songs with no rapping.

Monaleo - We Not Humping
Seiji Oda - WAKE UP
Hitkidd & Glorilla - FNF (Let's Go)
Young Jr - Bird Walk
AD - All I Do
Eatem - Lil' Phat Flow
Tony Shhnow - Sometimes
Duke Deuce ft. Glorilla - Just Say That
Homeboy Sandman - Fruit Day 1
Ezale - Ironic
Consequence - Blood Stain
Asian Doll ft. Bandmanrill - Get Jumped
Yuno Miles - Road To Riches
A-Wax - Streets Callin'
Stunnaman02 ft. Lil' Kayla - Roll Wit It
Young Bleed - Dat' Water
Westside Boogie ft. DRAM - AIGHT
Benzz - Je M'appelle
Knucks ft. SL - Nice & Smooth
Cookiee Kawaii - Fly Away
Mr. Fingers - Coastline Paradox
Real Lies - Dream On

Favourite movies of 2022 so far gotta be Boiling Point, Brian and Charles and The Innocents. Hopefully catch Hatching and Crimes Of The Future soon.

Thursday, 14 July 2022

Febreze the beat

Mr. 2-17 - Still Spaz'n
(From YouTube; 2022)

Revisiting some classic Mr. 2-17 got me checking out what he's been upto recently. Turns out he's been bobbing and weaving between the past with Soulja Boy tributes like Crank Dat Dance and the future with Jean-Michel Jarre Prog-Swag instrumentals like Still Spaz'n. Mr. 2-17 reckons this one is a #YeatTypeBeat; me, I'd prefer #AnyoneButYeat on it and would rather he lets the beat breathe as an instrumental forever ever.

Bonus beats: My pick for G.O.A.T instrumental which exists only on the producer's YouTube page because nobody's ever bought it? Gotta be this Trel Itz A Hit beat where he really let his nuts hang. Oi Trel - you came up outta that Bayou like a muskrat on this one.

Trel Itz A Hit - South Louisiana Swag
(From YouTube; 2015)

Tuesday, 12 July 2022

New York Strait Talk

Don't you hate when New Yorkers try to discredit Rap music from other regions like "we don't listen to that here"? California and Tennessee must have been devastated that the city who bought multiple albums by Das EFX and Drag-On didn't give any play to Suga Free's Street Gospel and Project Pat's Ghetty Green. Ironically, New Yorkers tend to have terrible taste in their own Rap music let alone Rap music from other regions. Lest we forget that New Yorkers prefered Fat Joe to the rest of D.I.T.C and anointed Mos Def as the savior of Real Hip-Hop™. Lest we also forget that New Yorkers put their industry weight behind the likes of Mims and Maino when Max B was hiding in plain sight. And these are the authoritarians whose taste we're supposed to defer to? LMFAO.

In hindsight, it was obvious that New Yorkers were unreliable authorities on their own Rap music when they ignored Whodini's I'm A Ho and The Showboys Drag Rap and left it to California and New Orleans to recognise the brilliance of both songs. If we can pinpoint the moment when New York's superiority complex became a worldwide laughing stock it was 2012 when the city decided A$AP Ferg made music which was remotely listenable. After that, Rap fans only looked to New York to see what was poppin' there and then ran in the opposite direction. I bet that makes New Yorkers real mad, don't it? But I bet New Yorkers can't find a single lie in this post.

BTW, no shotz @ Maino. He wasn't competition when him and Max B were contemporaries in the late noughties, but he did have three undeniable jams back then: Role Model shoulda been the Broken Language of 2008, Hi Hater transformed Money (Dollar Bill Y'all) into some post-Jigginess, and Rumors is the G.O.A.T Dead Perez gossip song of that era. "I was readin' the daily news where they said they had flicks of Lloyd Banks havin' sex with a hairy dude" is a helluva lyric.

Maino - Rumors
(From Real Recognize Real mixtape/DVD; 2005)

Pity nobody has ever identified the sample on Rumors because it sounds like it comes from the nastiest Spaghetti Western ever.

Sunday, 10 July 2022

Don't you wish that you could wake up and find Z Money soundin' irregular again?

Z Money - Lyin' On Oath
(From Back 2 The Blender album; 2022)

Turns out that Z Money over a Playboi Carti Type Beat™ is everything I want. As an O.G Z Money fan who hasn't been too into his new music since he lost the sense of humour + the J Neal production, I'm pleased to wake up and find out that Lyin' On Oath is his least regular shit since Dope Boy Magic.

Z Money - Dope Boy Magic
(From Dope Boy Magic single; 2014)

No love for Trap beats, they smell like cocks.

Saturday, 9 July 2022

My Alphabets Part 2

"M is for the Money, E is for the Evil
The other M for Memphis, the P is for the People
The H is for the Hoes and the I is for Ice
The S is for your Soul, it can come with a price"

Duke Deuce - I Get Crunk
(From CRUNKSTAR album; 2022)

It's a testament to how timeless LL Cool J's I Need Love is that it's already inspired two remakes so far this year. DJ Fresh & J.Stalin's I Need A Plug is a nice little requel, but Duke Deuce's I Get Crunk is bigger and deffer enough to qualify as a legit revamp. This shit needs a proper video where Duke can strut his half B-Boy/half D-Boy stuff. Off-beat and on-beat, old skool like Beat Street, Duke got more funk than Popmaster Fabel's feet.

True story: as I was writing this post the universe aligned with the algorithm and YouTube recommended me a documentary about LL Cool J's Bigger And Deffer album. Let Marty lead you away from drugs and petty crime, lead you away from Memphis beats and rhymes, lead you to that ticket line so you can watch 11 minutes of LL in his prime.

If LL doesn't shout out Duke like he did Peewee Longway then we riot.

Thursday, 7 July 2022

Cam Du

Cam'Ron ft. Lil' Cease - Hustler
(From The Rough, Rough, Rough album promo CDr; 1999)

Sum shit I just found out: Cam'Ron had a Hard Knock Life-core song on the promo version of S.D.E. Flipping So You Wanna Be A Boxer from Bugsy Malone with Lil' Cease bouncing the hook. Easily the best Hard Knock Life-core track which wasn't produced by The 45 King.

Craig Mack and Big Scoob went to the 45 King for The Wooden Horse and Can Du respectively, and while neither of those tracks blew up, they were far better Hard Knock Life-core choonz than Jay-Z's own hard knock-off Anything or whatever Busta's shitty song with The Ugly Duckling sample was called. Latter song is such a quack it was the first flop single of Busta's solo career.

Wednesday, 6 July 2022

New old Dre, who dis?

Seiji Oda & Lil' Ricefield dropped yesterday's best birthday tribute to Mac Dre. Best because it captures the thrill of gettin' your dome blown within the comforts of your own zone to Dre's music, and best because it put me onto a Dre deep cud I'd never heard before. Bass on this shit is bigger than E.T's head and makes me wanna roll out like Missy Elliot's queen size waterbed. My summer slumpah of 2022 is here!

Mac Dre & Zion I - Roll On Out
(From Too $hort & Friends' I Heart The Bay compilation; 2007)

May I continue to find old-but-new-to-me Mac Dre songs for many years to come.

Monday, 4 July 2022

My Alphabets

INXS - Need You Tonight
(From Kick album; 1987)

My m8 Tomo is a Prince mega-fan and recently edutained me with an interesting anecdote about two of the best pop singles of the 1980s. The story goes that Prince was simultaneously hugely impressed and hugely infuriated by INXS' Need You Tonight: hugely impressed by it as a song because he was already an INXS fan after What You Need blew up in America a couple of years earlier, but hugely infuriated by someone else having a massive hit which was drenched in his own DNA. So he decided to rework an acoustic demo of his into something which was, essentially, Need You Tonight with an even bigger boner. Hey presto - Prince's last great single of the '80s was born.

Prince - Alphabet St. (single version)
(From Lovesexy album; 1988)

Of course, whether Alphabet St. is a better song than Need You Tonight is entirely subjective innit. But what isn't up for debate is that Alphabet St. trumps Need You Tonight in Prince's mission statement of sheer Big Boner Energy™. Job's a good 'un - the best example of Prince living up to his The Purple One nickname or wot?

While this anecdote isn't quite Prince's equivalent of James Brown's Hot (I Need To Be Loved, Loved, Loved) swaggerjacking David Bowie's Fame, both instances prove that colonial cracka artists can occasionally spur black 'Murican artists to greater heights. Game recognise game, bro's do too. Pour out a little liquor for all the lost lads.

Thursday, 30 June 2022

Generic list post: June 2022

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when I found out that the cassingle of Big Scoob's Champagne On The Block had an amazing front cover. Those of us who own the 12" got shafted.

Big Scoob - U Got It (2002)
Yung Joc - A Couple Grand (2006)
Monaleo - We Not Humping (2021)
Eatem ft. BR Cowboy - Magical (2022)
Duke Deuce ft. Glorilla - Just Say That (2022)
Homeboy Sandman - Fruit Day 1 (2022)
Consequence - Blood Stain (2022)
P-Lo ft. Larry June - Good (2022)
Ezale - Hotel Motel (2022)
Westside Boogie ft. DRAM - AIGHT (2022)
Knucks ft. Sainte - Playa (2022)

Other notables: I'm still not tryna hear G-Herbo soundalikes over Jersey Club beats but Asian Doll's song featuring Bandmanrill is hot like summertime with corduroys; Seiji Oda's What It Feel Like is a cool little stopgap song; as someone who has a soft spot for French Montana I didn't need him on a remix of the best U.K single of 2022.

PS: they were only Lil' like Chris, but I made a couple of playlists this month: five New York 12" songs I love and my top 5 NorCal Rap songs of 2022 so far.

PPS: I wouldn't necessarily say that Playa is one of my favourite songs on the Knucks album, but that chorus stays richochetting and reverberating around my head, so I've ended up listening to it more than the album's de facto best songs.

Wednesday, 29 June 2022

You were ALWAYS the bellhop, Mr. Ezale

Ezale - Hotel Motel
(From Hotel Motel single; 2022)

The Andrehick Hotel Motel has a new employee - heeeeeere's Ezay. I did say that Ezale songs tend to be different than the snippets suggest and that's certainly true with this one because the I Get Around beat-switcheroo from teaser number two is now entirely slo-mo Screwed. WTF - the Pol Pot of the Pillionaire's Boys Club keeps pretzelling my pomegranate, man. Regardless, Ezale singles are always mini-movies in musical form. Gonna tell my kid this is The Shining.

Ezale caught the Furley Ghost with that Stupid Doo Doo Dumb moment @ 1:34. Best sittin' on the bog reveal scene in a music video since Tom DeLonge in Blink-182's All The Small Things.

**EDIT** Good news, the I Get Around beat-switcheroo isn't Screwed on the MP3.

Tuesday, 28 June 2022

Late pass!

"N*gga, stop talkin', just come suck it
When it's smoke, bet the opps gon' duck it
We kick smoke up, they kick buckets"

Monaleo - We Not Humping
(From We Not Humping single; 2021)

How come none of you fooken' humps told me about this song eh eh? Could end up being my favourite 2022 song which #actually dropped in December 2021. There's a recent remix of this with Flo Milli which is a better City Girls single than City Girls' latest single, but the remix ain't as satisfying as Monaleo's solo original. As D.W Griffiths' nearly said, all you need is a girl rhyming about her guns.

Other contenders for my favourite 2022 song which #actually dropped in December 2021: Sometimes by Tony Shhnow and Road To Riches by Yuno Miles.

Monday, 27 June 2022

Diamond D & The Psycho-Spiritual Neurotic

"Being a human being is abrasive
They throw you on the job without no orientation
It's not like everyday I need a standing ovation
Before I leave I'd like to leave a couple of traces
Roll the dice and move ahead a couple of spaces
Shed the fear of flying and defy limitation
Recognise the signs and their interpretation
Take an ancient science and apply innovation
I'm not one to make haste or stay patient
So every single day is like a paid vacation"

Homeboy Sandman - Fruit Day 1
(From I Can't Sell These album; 2022)

Marky Mark, The Mighty Ducks, Good Vibrations on my fave song from Homeboy Sandman's new Lost Tapes type album. Conclusive proof that every New York rapper of note should beatjack Diamond D's Freestyle (Yo That's That Shit) for a Lyrical Exercise song. But then, you knew that already if you've heard Sean Price's 60 Bar Dash, right?

Thursday, 23 June 2022

Born To Audiomack: Five N.Y Twelves

Here at The Martorialist we keep a stylus pen like a fiend keep a pipe with him, so here's another quick quinary of quality playlist. Revisiting Big Scoob's early 2000's singles has got me in the mood for some personal classic New York 12" singles, thus here's five songs I love like RZA & Kool G. Rap loved Cakes. Cool thing about this era of New York Rap is that everybody who was deep in them record racks and up on them webstores experienced shit differently, and so songs like Missin' Linx's Can't Be Stop or Lord Sear's Ya Mouth Stink might not have entered your orbit but they're both 5 Star General choonz to me.

1. Phil Blunts - On The Attack (1996)
2. Consequence - Rock N Roll (1997)
3. Blahzay Blahzay - Ice Grillz (2000)
4. B-1 ft. Large Professor - Put Yo' Self In My Place (2000)
5. Ayatollah ft. Rakim - A Cold Feeling (2002)

1. Phil Blunts' Yonkers classic On The Attack which should be a proper New York classic. N.Y drama-core that's so good it can make me overlook Phil's very #problematic line about rape.

2. Had a soft spot for Consequence ever since I heard Rock N Roll. Alongside ATCQ's The Jam, this is one of the best examples of late 90s clip-clop Dilla production imho.

3. Not a lotta people know this, but the second best song Blahzay Blahzay & P.F. Cuttin' ever recorded is Ice Grillz. Some mean-muggin' Brooklyn winter warz Rap.

4. B-1 is best known for his guest spots on Kool G. Rap's 4, 5, 6 album and his two singles on Rawkus Records, but for Q.B connoisseurs his true Dunn-Rap hall of fame tune is Put Yo' Self In My Place.

5. There were only two good things to come from Rakim's tenure with Aftermath Records: the Truth Hurts song he guested on and the Ayatollah banger A Cold Feeling. Supposedly recorded for The Wash soundtrack, it woulda sounded perfect on Kay Slay's first compilation.


Tuesday, 21 June 2022

Wanted dead or alive: Kryptonite by Big Scoob

Big Scoob's Kryptonite was a minor classic which rang out alongside Ante Up in summer 2000, but I've only ever seen it uploaded online as the instrumental. Perhaps Kryptonite is a true You Had To Be There™ tune: Big Daddy Kane's former back-up dancer dropping a Superman theme sampling indie single which became a Funkmaster Flex Tunnel Banger™ staple. Here in the U.K, Kryptonite was a rare example of a Westwood favourite which got love in Mr. Bongo by British backpackers who had their Jansports strapped too tight. Step Won came thru with the Ronaldinho to Rivaldo type assist, so I threw the MP3 up on Audiomack and Mediafire. Ya gun got dust in it from not bustin' it!

Big Scoob - Kryptonite
(From Kryptonite 12" single; 2000)

Be rude to leave you without another Big Scoob song to step to, so here's the lesser known U Got It. Scoob on some I Got It Made braggin' & boastin' over a certain Bobby Byrd break. U know the proto-Top Shelf 8/8/'88 steez.

Big Scoob - U Got It
(From U Got It single; 2002)

Anyone got an MP3 of Scoob's Say It Loud? Never heard it meself, but it could be cool if it's a JB sample. Alternatively, it could sound like a Drag-On album track which is why I'm hesitant to spend a tenner on the 12".

Sunday, 19 June 2022

Did somebody say just Eat?

"It's so good it's magical, lemme put a spell on you
I know you got a n*gga, baby girl I ain't gon' tell on you
I don't need no honey pack, I don't pop no f*ckin' percs
Hit that ass from 9 to 5, lemme get that f*ckin' work"

Eatem ft. BR Cowboy - Magical
(From Magical single; 2022)

You know how Homeboy Sandman's Talking (Bleep) is just Conjugal Visit To The Prison Of The Mind re-tweaked with rhymes about pet peeves and a hook made from a wah-wah guitar sample? Eatem's Magical follows a similar trajectory: it's just Go Get Yo' F*ckin Brotha re-tweeked with rhymes about "your girlfriend" and a hook made from the BR Cowboy restaurant jingle & Russ Meyer sex EFX. No shotz @ Sandman or Eatem because there's nowt wrong with that in either instance - craftily re-tweaking your own songs is the 7th element of Rap music.

Props to Eatem's producer/former Down Bad member Mike Sneezy for making the aforementioned Russ Meyer sex EFX sound like Herbie Hancock's Watermelon Man. I'm not a Jazz guy, but I've loved that shit ever since I first heard it soundtracking Guy Mariano's G.O.A.T Sk8 video part.

You wanna go down? Why not. I'll be like Matt and Han' you a cock.