Tuesday, 6 June 2023

My Mind Spray 10

Saw AZ live in Manchester on Sunday night. On one hand, it kinda annoyed me he only performed one verse + the hook of every song. On the other hand, it meant he could cram a shitload of his classics and fan-favourites into an hour, which is long enough for any live show. Can't wait until ageing rappers with Generation X fanbases start to perform in seated venues where we can sit down to nod our heads, bust our Rap-hands, and wave our arms in the air like we just don't care.

The AZ show was a day after Saturday's F.A Cup final Mancunian derby so AZ's tour DJ Doo Wop indulged in some Manchester United vs. Manchester City #banter with the crowd. Pity it was wasted on everyone in attendance because nobody from Manchester suports Utd and Citeh don't have any supporters over the age of 14 other than the Gallagher brothers.

In no particular order, top ten Rap songs of 2023 so far IMHO: Lemonade by Max B & DJ Drama, It's Crazy by J Hus, Get Somebody Else To Do It by Day Day Sustaaa & Eatem, So Icy by Kookei, What Do You Like by Nef The Pharoah, Gone (remix) by Berner & The Jacka, Dia de Los Reyes by Homeboy Sandman, Keep Dat N*gga by iCandy, On Wat U On by MoneyBaggYo & GloRilla, and Regular by P-Lo.

You'd swear I was born in a pot the way my blood boiled when I recently saw someone compare RX Papi to Max B. Nah, m8 - Max B is a master songwriter who went on a manic run because he was facing life in prison; RX Papi is a first-take freestyler churning out throwaway tracks for the sake of #content. Your man can't see Max like cheap seats.

Saturday, 3 June 2023

**Busy Bee voice** What's your zodiac sign?

"My Capricorn chick tries too much
My Scorpion chick always lies too much
My Taurus chick's way too bossy
My Sagittarius chick's always rollin' with a new posse
I only f**k with my Libra chick when I'm high
'Cause she crazy like my chick that's a Gemini
My Aquarius chick never shows me love
My Aries chick just wants to hold a grudge
I love chillin' with my Cancer chick
But she got a temper, nearly made me crash my whip
My Virgo chick's forever fussin'
And she's a know-it-all, you can't tell her nothin'
My Leo chick stays by my side
Thought I was bad but she got way too much pride
I been runnin' through these lighties since the nineties
Got these bitches in their feelings like a Pisces"

Nines - Calender
(From Crop Circle 2 album; 2023)

Am I the only Brit who prefers Calender to Nines' usual Trapper Of The Year borishness? This shit is a unisex jam which is 25% 7 Days, 25% What You Want, 25% Girls, Girls, Girls and 25% precisely what I wanna hear blaring outta Bluetooth speakers in pub beer gardens this summer. If J Hus doesn't wanna drop Road-Rap's 2023 Song of The Summer™ then Calender is a substitute of the 2006 Henrik Larsson calibre.

Really doe, Nines needs to chill with the Scorpio slander. The only lies we tell are whiter than Young Black Teenagers. It's not what they know, it's what they can prove!

Wednesday, 31 May 2023

Generic list post: May 2023

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when ya host joined in with Blog Era™ nostalgia. People tryna out-post Marty, how? I'm ridin' round with stylus pens the size of Lil' Bow Wow.

MC Lyte - I Cram To Understand U 1990 (DJ DOC remix) (1990)
Big Scoob ft. Celph Titled - Floss Filthy (2003)
J Hus - It's Crazy (2023)
Berner ft. The Jacka - Gone (remix) (2023)
Berner ft. Nef The Pharoah - Picky (2023)
Capolow - Team304 (2023)
Suga Free & Kokane - Bitch In Da Trunk (2023)
Suga Free & Kokane - SugaKane (2023)
Abie "Available" Baker - The Web (1959)
Fred Wesley & The Horny Horns - Say Blow By Blow Backwards (1979)

Other notables: Kali's Area Codes should have an entirely different beat since it's a homage to the most danceable Ludacris single - where's the Tonal Consistency™ eh eh?

Monday, 29 May 2023

My Mind Spray 9.5

Two tracks I'm fiendin' for right now: this Lil' Ricefield song and this Nef The Pharoah song. Hopefully both Rappers don't leave me hanging like this Ezale song.

A couple of my m8s are fans of that new LL Cool J song produced by Q-Tip, but it sounds like some weird Cannibal Ox shit to me. If LL wants to sound like he's signed to Def Jux then I'd prefer he sounded like he was produced by Edan rather than El-P. Crazy visions, BOOM: Edan hooks LL up with some Top Shelf 8/8/'88 type beats and encourages LL to drop some absurdist My Rhyme Ain't Done-core songs.

I would have mentioned Burn One's old website in my Hall of Game blog list if I could remember the name of the site. Best song I discovered via that place has gotta be G-Mane & G-Side's No One Does It Betta.

I see lots of rappers wearin' Sergio Tacchini athleisurewear nowadays, but I've yet to spot any of them in the brand's crown jewel - their Time tennis shorts in navy blue. There's two types of people in this world, my friend: those of you who look like you're about to walk into court, and those of us who look like we're about to walk onto centre court. Come join Marty Macassi in the latter camp this summer.

Friday, 26 May 2023

From Dem Boy Paigon to Dis Boy Demon

"I wanna send him to Jupiter
It wasn't me, it was Lucifer
I don't care if I'm a superstar, all them man I'm gonna crucify
I believe that you can fly when I put this bonsam in your eye
Crept up on him on the sly
F**k the law, I don't abide"

J Hus - It's Crazy
(From It's Crazy single; 2023)

Reasons why we love J Hus here at The Martorialist: everyone was expecting his comeback single would be a big summer anthem in the vein of Lean & Bop or Did You See, but he returns speaking in fiendish black magic tongues with the baddest Juju since our man from The Beatnuts. You can stick your dour U.K Drill up your arse, m8, the real British wickedness is right here. A song designed to soundtrack a very different type of hot weather.

Unpopular but actual factual opinion: the first three episodes of Blackadder series one are some of the best episodes in the show's entire run. As well as putting a fresh twist on various Shakespearean plots and reversing the later dynamic between Blackadder and Baldrick, they feature Brian Blessed, Peter Cook and Alex Norton in delirious form, and Elspert Grey quietly delivering some of the show's best quotables.

Plus, those first three episodes are free from any of the "Sticky McStickface from McSticksville"-isms which blemish the best episodes from the later seasons. One of the many problems with the British middle-classes is that they're incapable of writing comedy without tainting it with 'cockwomble' humour.

Thursday, 25 May 2023

Good Morning, Cap'n

Capolow - Team304
(From Team304 single; 2023)

Every now and then I find myself partial to Capolow's Fetty Slap shtick, so what better time to enjoy his new single than the day his stylistic forefather was sentenced to 6 years in prison? Lotta stuff to like about Team304: double-pronged huge hook with the Big Tymers flow, bass which hits like Ronald Reagan on Angie Dickinson, pizzicato olde Mafioso strings, and a video that's a 2 & a half minute arse appreciation. No pork on this fork!

Tuesday, 23 May 2023

WhoSampled.com who???

The Pharcyde - 4 Better Or 4 Worse
(From Bizarre Ride II The Pharcyde album; 1992)

Psssst - keep it on the DL, but I'm pretty sure that Party Sparty has identified the Sleazy Trumpet Horns™ from The Pharcyde's 4 Better Or 4 worse. Click this link and check the choon at the 1:14 mark. It gotta be like French & Max, right?

Related: Hotbox just dropped a compilation of Rap songs which sample The J.B's. Talk about a stroke of serendipity because I'm off to see Fred Wesley & The New J.B's live tonight. Fred is 79 years old and he's still out on tour givin' up food for funk. Ya host went to see The Chats live this past friday so my musical Yin/Yang levels will be in full steezy alignment by tomorrow.

Thursday, 18 May 2023

Hall of Game: Get At Me, Blog

Everybody is talkin' about the blog era this and the blog era that. Lemme tell you about my favourite Rap songs I've discovered via blogs and bloggers. Any old chump can have opinionz about Rap music on the internet, but it takes a special kind of chump to sift through the crud and find the choonz. To those who rocked my speakers by putting me onto these songs, I salute you. Sadly, most of these blogs are dead now; even more sadly, so are some of the bloggers behind them - pour out a little ĺiquid of your preference for Gary Warnett, Yams, Matthew Africa and NyQuil.

Unkut ~~> Godfather Don - Status (1996)
Gel & Weave ~~> Young Bleed - Put Your Stamp On It (2006)
Cocaine Blunts ~~> Dre Dog - Smoke Dope and Rap (1993)
Government Names ~~> Tim Trees - Bank Roll (2000)
HoustonSoReal ~~> Big Tuck - Not A Stain On Me (2007)
Sole Sides ~~> Fam-Lay - Skrung Owt (2006)
So Many Shrimp ~~> Soulja Boy ft. Gucci Mane & Yo Gotti - Shopping Spree (2008)
FakeShoreDrive ~~> Mic Terror - If God Was Mic (2008)
Frankie Tha Lucky Dog'z Block ~~> Tha Camp - 1 Rubber (2007)
Werner von Wallenrod ~~> Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince - Touch Of Jazz (Collapsed In The Streets mix) (1987)
DGB ~~> Mouse On Tha Track ft. T Mac - Rubbin' On My Head (2009)
Traps N Trunks ~~> Lil' Boosie - Top To The Bottom (2009)
Thizzler ~~> Beeda Weeda - Bassrock Babies (O.G version) (2010)
Siccness.net ~~> Dru Down ft. The Jacka - Hello Hello Hello (2010)
Nah Right ~~> Red Cafe ft. Pete Rock - Heart & Soul Of New York Cuty (2010)
Spine Magazine ~~> Prodigy - Raining Guns and Shanks (2008)
Fat Lace Magazine ~~> Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde - Doing The Do (1982)
Southern Hospitality ~~> HBK Gang - She Ready (2010)
OnlyBuilt4ZshareLinks ~~> The Firm ft. Half A Mill - Firm Biz (World Famous explicit remix) (1997)
Ichlugebullets ~~> Elzhi - Deep (2009)
Gwarizm ~~> Young T & Bugsey - No Mickey Mouse Ting (2016)
Real N*gga Tumblr ~~> Jae Millz - Sober (2009)
World Star Hip Hop ~~> Ezale - Foreal Foreal (2013)
Grand Good ~~> Kurious Jorge - Best In The World (2014)
12 Man Rambo Tapes ~~> Spice 1 - Killa Days (1992)
T.R.O.Y ~~> Half A Mill - In The Projects (1995)
Steady Bloggin' ~~> Grip Plyaz - F**k Dat Hipster Shit (2010)
The Smoking Section ~~> Mysonne - In Jail (2011)
Matthew Africa ~~> The Delinquents ft. B-Legit & Richie Rich - Bitch N*ggas (1999)
Beer And Rap ~~> 5th Ward Weebie - Let Me Find Out (2014)
Cobra Swag ~~> Messy Marv - Ima Tell You Whuts Real (2008)
100 Grand On My Wrist ~~> Feva ft. Husalah & Franchise - Handsome (2012)
Damn, Here's A Tissue ~~> Calvin T - Bottom Bitch (2014)
Sisilafami ~~> Short Kidd - The Mafia (2012)
Chicken-N-Kalinka ~~> Drama - Big Ball (2001)
Pay Tray ~~> The LOX - What Up, What Up (extended mix) (2008)
Droptops & Stacy Lattisaw Tapes ~~> Ike Eyes - Blue Roxies (2011)
Rey's Cafe ~~> Young Devi D - Young Fly N***a (2015)
The Hotbox Social ~~> Baby Soulja ft. Boosie BadAzz - Dirty (2017)
Rap Music Hysteria ~~> WNC Carlos ft. JMM Larry & Sherwood Flame - Cross Me (2016)
Crime Dawg By Law ~~> TREE - Honor Roll (2011)
Pink Chardonnay ~~> Duke Deuce - Yeh (2019)
The Boxxx Report ~~> DJ Premier ft. Casanova - Wut U Said? (2018)
Ray Garraty ~~> Cash Kidd - Zorbas (2018)

Honourable mentions: shout out to Dirtnap2 for being a British bloke who loves Max B as much as I do. And hat tip to Pure Baking Soda for helping spread the word that A-Wax's Thug Deluxe is one of the G.O.A.T NorCal Rap albums.

**EDIT** So, what's your favourite song you've discovered via this place then?

Monday, 15 May 2023

Best of Both Worlds

Big Scoob ft. Celph Titled - Floss Filthy
(From No More Mr. Nice Guy 12" single; 2003)

File this under 'rapper pairings nobody saw coming.' In hindsight, the link-up of former Big Daddy Kane back-up dancer Big Scoob and future Bo$$ Hog Barbarian Celph Titled seems even more bizarre now - especially when it's Big Scoob featuring Celph Titled rather than vice versa. Anyhoo, this shit is a back-slapping bromance à la The Essence with the twist of Scoob extolling the joys of jiggyness and Celph celebrating his own cheapness. A very unexpected slice of "I do what work for me, you do what work for you"-core.

Other than me, Dom Passantino and Plum Drank, who else is #Bo$$HogBarbarian$Hive?

Wednesday, 10 May 2023

Wednesday at Berner's

Berner ft. The Jacka - Gone (remix)
(From Arrogance Is Ignorance album; 2023)

Berner ft. Nef The Pharoah - Picky
(From Arrogance Is Ignorance album; 2023)

What we have here are two good examples of how Berner's exquisite taste in beats and guests can make amends for his own shortcomings. We've come a long way from THAT line on Nef's Bitch, I'm From Vallejo eh? But we've come an even longer way from Berner being edited out of his own Drought Season albums - dome blown in the comforts of my own home at him now being richer than Eminem or Drake. Dome also blown in the comforts of my own home at Berner doing an EP with some Mancunian Road-Rapper. Rap went from Ay Bay Bay to Eh Up Bay Area.

Monday, 8 May 2023


"Not tryna boast or brag
But my vocab will hit you like a Sugar Ray Leonard jab"

The 45 King ft. MC La Kim - We Got The Funk
(From The 45 King's Master Of The Game album; 1988)

Top 3 Lakim Shabazz song, thus it really should have been on his first album. Shabazz was a rapper of paradoxes: he looked like Kendrick Lamar's baby-brother but he possessed the voice of a Nation Of Islam bodyguard; he's pigeonholed as a 5% conscious rapper when much of his music is about obliterating emcees into molecules; he's loved by ageing Anglo-Saxons like me & Eminem despite the fact he was none too fond of us white folk; he had a penchant for rapping over horn samples when Kenny G was the world's most famous saxophonist.

Tuesday, 2 May 2023

For The Lads, By The Lads

Suga Free & Kokane - Bitch In Da Trunk
(From SugaKane album; 2023)

This Suga Free & Kokane album features some bakin' soda free treats for those of us who thought Bring It On was the best song on Snoop's Tha Last Meal CD. Personal highlight has gotta be Bitch In Da Trunk: a funk upon a rhyme street gospel to put the dip da in your day and the tip toe in your two step. It's music to Scare The Hoes™, but in a good way. That said, here at The Martorialist we don't condone throwing a bitch in da trunk - unless it's Ice-T's definition of a Bitch and the Bitch in question is a Bobby.
There isn't a single wasted second in Reservoir Dogs, which makes it all the more ironic that every movie Quentin Tarantino has made post-2000 has wasted my time by being at least 20 minutes too long. Being branded an Auteur has been the downfall of many a director. THEY SHOULDA NEVER GAVE YOU GUYS CARTE BLANCHE!!

Sunday, 30 April 2023

Generic list post: April 2023

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when the Premier League became as pointless as the Bundesliga, Ligue 1 and the Scottish Premier League. Why couldn't Elon Musk's shitty space rocket have crash landed on Manchester Citeh's training ground and injured their entire first team until the end of the season????

Drama - Big Ball (2001)
Homeboy Sandman - A! (video) (2022/2023)
Nef The Pharaoh - What Do You Like (2023)
Suga Free & Kokane - Bitch In Da Trunk (2023)
iCandy - Keep Dat N*gga (2023)
Curren$y & Jermaine Dupri - Screens Fallin' (2023)
Rae Sremmurd - Flaunt It/Cheap (2023)
Mic Terror - Might Pimp (2023)
Big Doobie - I Go To Costco For That Wock (And That Chicken Bake) (2023)
Madness - Night Boat To Cairo (French TV performance) (1980)
Bad Manners - Inner London Violence (1980)
S-J - I Feel Divine (Dem 2 remix) (1997)

Other reading/listening: I put together a Day Day Sustaaa Quinary Of Quality playlist; Mosi Reeves wrote a killer article on 80s Bay Area Rap; EttelThun did a mix of Harry Allen's 12 Underacknowledged Hip-Hop Cuts; Chicken N Kalinka put together a 4 part best of Slip-N-Slide Records compilation; Juiceboxxx took us back in time with his favourite concert clips from 2003; The Spartorialist paid tribute to movie opinionz from the Baby Blue.

PS: that Drama Big Ball single linked up top is my second favourite late pass discovery song of 2023 so far. It's like Mystikal recorded a Country Grammar-era Nelly type single. Cheers to Chicken-N-Kalinka's aforementioned best of Slip-N-Slide Records compilation for that one.

Friday, 28 April 2023

Thizz Khalifa Part 707

"I got higher than a muthaf*ckin' whatdyacallit
Some n*ggas pullin' hamstrings 'cause they ain't ballin'"

Nef The Pharoah - What Do You Like
(From What Do You Like single; 2023)

Mentioned What Do You Like in January's wrap-up post, but its since become my Slap Du Jour alongside P-Lo's Regular. Basically, a blappified-beatjack which is more to my taste than the song it begets. Ultimately, a good example of how the Kid Cuddy Nef is an old soul in a new Rapper's body. And speaking of bodies, now Nef's got swole he's finally grown into his Big Chang Chang nickname.

PS: Old Enough is still better than most of the bullshit that people were jockin' last year.

Wednesday, 26 April 2023

It Ain't My Falt

Harold Faltermeyer - Shoot Out
(From Axel F single; 1985)

Something I learned today: Harold Faltermeyer's Shoot Out isn't actually on the Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack even though it's featured in the movie and was the B-side to Axel F. As the dearly-departed Maori man said - how bizarre! Back in 1985 Young Marty loved Shoot Out as much as its famous A-side even though I'd never seen Beverly Hills Cop and barely knew who Eddie Murphy was - both songs just sounded like some cool electronic bodypopping music I could do The Robot to.

Then again, back in 1985 Young Marty thought any song with a synthesiser sounded like some cool electronic bodypopping music: from Paul Hardcastle's 19 to Neil Falconer's Spy Hunter arcade theme to Pet Shop Boys' West End Girls to Jan Hammer's Miami Vice theme to Madonna's Into The Groove to the Colin Baker era Doctor Who theme to Dead Or Alive's You Spin Me Round (Like A Record). It wasn't until Falco dropped Rock Me Amadeus that ya host said "I can't pop to that!"

Monday, 24 April 2023

Mondays are Terrorble Part 2

"Got her screamin', soundin' like Texas Chainsaw Massacre
But I ain't Leatherface, I ain't chasin' after her"

Mic Terror - Might Pimp
(From YouTube; 2023)

Mic Terror back up on The Martorialist, turning the Windy City into the Wavy City. Open ya third eye and realise that a song can't be sexist if it interpolates Olivia Newton-John's Physical. Two talking points here: Mic's No Limit Mystikal vest, and the video being shot at FakeShoreDrive's Project Pat show this past weekend.

Previously: Mondays are Terrorble.

Saturday, 22 April 2023

My Mind Spray 9

I'm on a crusade to get M.O.P's Handle Ur Bizzness (DJ Premier remix) recognised & realised in the Shinola Remixes of Shitty Songs canon. Go bump that shit in ya Lex Coup or ya Lex hoop and tell me I'm wrong.

If people talk about best songs from the blog era and they don't mention $tarlito's Alright, Beeda Weeda & DJ Fresh's Bassrock Babies and Giftz & TREE'S Nino then those people probably misspent the era listening to a buncha bullshit by Kid Cudi, Odd Future, and A$AP Mob

Is I Gotta Habit the only Max B song Maya Jama knows? Obviously I wouldn't expect her to be up on the Kill That Faggot remix, but where's the love for Why You Do That or Where Do I Go? eh?

W.O.A.T modern Rap fan - guys who swear that Azealia Banks has more than one good song. Granted, that one good song varies from listener to listener, but nobody genuinely likes or needs more than one song by Ya Kid A.

Can I plug my Day Day Sustaaa playlist again? Hardest 5 song playlist uploaded to the internet in 2023 no IMHO necessary.

Monday, 17 April 2023

Exclusive footage of Britain colonising France (1980)

Madness - Night Boat To Cairo
(From Le Collaro Show; 1980)

Because I'm still in the 2 Tone zone after Dance Craze, here's Madness doing Night Boat To Cairo on some French TV show in 1980. It's a mimed performance, but in the best way possible. Word around town, England's 2022 World Cup semi-final loss to France was reparations for this clip. Parlez-vous Francais, mi amor, merci, oui oui, bon bons, good moaning and all apologies.

Back in 2019 I tried to solve the ever-enduring question of One Step Beyond or Night Boat To Cairo? In hindsight, the answer is clearly BOTH!

Saturday, 15 April 2023

Alphabet Boy (reprise)

Homeboy Sandman - A!
(From A! single; 2022/YouTube; 2023)

Belated video for my favourite Homeboy Sandman loosie of last year, shot in a German Hip-Hop club which looks exactly like what you'd imagine a German Hip-Hop would look like. As with most of the best Sandman songs, this one strikes a delicate balance between cosmic and commonplace by mixing Galaxy Brain shit with Ground Control shit. I'm not saying I agree and I'm not saying I don't - I'm saying I won't ever stop finding entertainment in Sandman's wacko eccentricities. The song's also a good example of No Bap with motion - and that's thanks to a bassline which will have you bustin' and pluckin' air-bass moves like Mark King from Level 42.

Can we get a video for Radiator next plz?