Thursday, 8 December 2016

Generic list post: 2016's best non-rap songs IMO

Now is the winter of our vanity content, where everyone inflicts their favourite songs of the year on t'internet via all manner of convoluted lists. Here's 16 legit jams from the past year or so which aren't even rap songs - instead we got House shit from Chicago dons and cheeky Nando's dons, U.K Afrobeats shit, Dancehall shit, Ghancehall shit, R&B shit, girl-group pop shit featuring Ty Dolla $ign, and future-FunK shit which bangs that little bit harder than DāM-FunK's usual shit.

Mr. Fingers - Qwazars
Shift K3Y - Like This
Moelogo - Pénkéle
Kwamz & Flava - Takeover [O.G version]
Kwamz & Flava ft. Coast2Coast Ent. - Stop Stalling
New Age Muzik - Da Beat
Spice - Indicator
Dexta Daps - Chinese Jordan
Chi Ching Ching - Nacho
Konshens - Bruk Off Mi Cock
Shatta Wale - Bie Gya
Tweet - Magic
Jacquees - Know You
Tinashe - Touch Pass
Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign - Work From Home
DāM-FunK - Hazy Stomp

Bonus beats: top 5 old non-rap songs ya host discovered in 2016. How had I never heard any of these songs before this year? It's a mystery, Scooby Doo.

The Animals - Inside-Looking Out (1966)
Bananarama - He's Got Tact (1982)
Larry Heard - Missing You (1999)
Chi Ching Ching - Roast Or Fry (Breadfruit) (2015)
Donae'o - Mami No Like (2015)

Tuesday, 6 December 2016

Slangin' humble pie and St. Ides in the same sentence

"I feel like I'm Marty McFly, wat' me just travel in time
I need a bitch from the '80s, wat' me pull up with a dime
I been livin' like a rock star, rips in my jeans when I slide
Hot box the Delorean, roll up some dope and get high"


Mike $aatchi - Marty McFly
(From YouTube; 2016)



Did my damnedest to resist this Reys-Cafe find but I can't deny its Legit Slap status any longer. Still prefer it didn't have those trendy Atlanta production tics, but the kid $aatchi definitely has himself something akin to a 2k16 Reagan Era with this one. If there's two things Bay Area rap needed right now it's a song which samples the G.O.A.T Vaporwave tune, and a sixteen year old Armenian Travis Barker lookalike rapper who caught the holy ghost of Chazmaniia.

Crazy thing is Rich The Factor just dropped a new song with the exact same sample. The Oakland-to-Kansas City rap connection ain't had no love for Diana Ross' It's Your Move until 2016?

Monday, 5 December 2016

Generic list post: Stop Lyin' edition

Youze rap critics have had enough time to milk your articles about how Tribe's new album is a comfort blanket for 2016's annus horribilis, but now it's time to fess up to the unfortunate truth: that whole LP is a mess which depends on the listener sympathising with Phife's death to forgive the album's many shortcomings. The penance for blatantly misleading your readers? 10 Hail Luciens and an hour spent cleansing your sins with this list of 10 noughties legit jams by Q-Tip and Consequence.

Q-Tip - Let's Ride (2000)
Consequence ft. KanYe West - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly (2002)
Q-Tip ft. Busta Rhymes - N.T. (2000)
Consequence ft. KanYe West - Take It As A Loss (2004)
Q-Tip - Breathe And Stop (2000)
Consequence - Don't Forget 'Em (2007)
Q-Tip - Renaissance Rap (2008)
Consequence ft. Common, KanYe West & Talib Kweli - Wack N*ggas 2 (2004)
Consequence - Job Song (2007)
Busta Rhymes & Q-Tip - Thank You [Kid Capri Remix] (2013)

Do any of these songs contain Phife soundin' like a literal Lil' Half Dead, Q-Tip usin' the Beastie Boys Intergalactic vocal-filter, Busta Rhymes doin' plastic-rastamon Dem Bow karaoke, or Jarobi fumblin' to make words rhyme? Of course they don't, and that is why they're all empirically better than anything on that Tribe album. Wack N*ggas 2 is particularly notable since it's the first time Talib Killjoy had displayed a sense of humour since Fortified Live.

Friday, 2 December 2016

She say you annoyin' like a splinter

"Bitch, you 'bout make me flash
Finna get on ya nerves like I'm a rash
You ain't poppin', bitch, you know you trash
And I'm just statin' facts
If you don't like it, fuck it, we can scratch
Light your ass up like you was a match"


Jay Lewis ft. WNC Whop Bezzy - GYAB
(From YouTube; 2016)


... as in Get Yo' Ass Beat. Surprised this is the first WNC-related song to reach a million views on YouTube since it's not one of the more immediate songs in the Wreck-N-Crew oeuvre, but its charms slowly reveal themselves like as all mid-tempo Baton Rouge fight songs tend to do. Shit might be the best example of that particular sub-genre of Louisiana rap since Mista's Going Down, and Jay Lewis outdoes Whop with his own style - "Say lil' bitch don't make me flash like a picture/I stay in that water like a pickle!"

Thursday, 1 December 2016

Born to Audiomack: the best of G. Dep



I got a G-Dep playlist for those who consume shit, I love to do it like Jennifer Love Hewitt. Why? Because G. Dep's music was simultaneously butta and gutter, word to mother, go ask your brother, even when Dep was smokin' sherm he never succumbed to the Ced Gee circa 1993 stutter. How? By collecting the Deputy's 10 best songs starting with three late '90s indie-era joints, six gems he recorded during his tenure with Bad Boy Records, and the one highlight from his attempted late '00's comeback.

Tuesday, 29 November 2016

Generic list post: November 2016


Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when El Chapo probably should have hired better hitmen.

Camp Lo - Piece Of The Action (1996)
Beanie Sigel - Peep The Steelo (200?)
Trel Itz A Hit - South Louisiana Swag (instrumental) (2015)
Eat Em - Trophy (2016)
WNC Whop Bezzy ft. Boosie - You Know I Ain't Scared (Remix) (2016)
2 Chainz - Diamonds Talkin' Back (2016)
Young Devi D - Gangsta (2016)
Tinashe - Touch Pass (2016)
Spice - Glimity Glamity (2016)

Other notables: the new ATCQ album sounded like a late-career Beastie Boys/plastic-rastamon Run The Jewels hybrid so I'll make like Mesut Özil and pass; Nef The Pharaoh's Put You On isn't essential but it's a step back in the right direction; the remix of Uncle Murda's Cam'Ron Voice really didn't the presence of its namesake in 2016; Boosie & Lil' Scrappy's No Drake On is a sentiment to live by even if the song isn't particularly good; Yung Cat's 30 On Me is a good example of why regional mob rappers should lay off the Auto-Tune; Ask Around is one of those WNC tracks where Trel Itz A Hit's production outshines the rapping.

Monday, 28 November 2016

Tevas scared

WHC Whop Bezzy ft. Boosie - You Know I Ain't Scared (Remix)
(From You Know I Ain't Scared (Remix) single/Boosie's new 'tape; 2016)



The original wasn't one of my favourite songs from the WNC camp, but the You Know I Ain't Scared remix has been growin' on me like nasal hair. Whop's re-recorded vocals have more punch, Boosie touchin' down to cause Hell on a WNC track is so necessary, and more remixes should be truncated versions of the source material rather than elongated "everybody raps, b!" posse tracks. All in all, a nasty blast of restrained aggression, and the type of Mardi Gras murder-rap production Boosie really needs to be rappin' over in future.

Related: pity that Whop's Consequences didn't live up to its in-studio Instagram snippet.

Friday, 25 November 2016

The Show foreal foreal (part 2)

Slick Rick ft. Doug E. Fresh - Sittin' In My Car
(From Behind Bars album; 1994)



You just know that Doug E. Fresh will show up for the London date of Slick Rick's U.K tour but none of the others. If Rick's hired some c*nt like Beardyman to step in for Doug at his Manchester show tonight then I'm payin' some urchins from Hulme to rush the stage like MobStyle did to N.W.A's infamous show at The Apollo. The only British man who should ever be allowed onstage at a Slick Rick show is MC Ricky D himself and maybe Mark Morrison if he happens to be in the building and he's willing to recreate his 1997 Brit Awards performance.

Slick Rick ft. Warren G - Behind Bars (Dum Ditty Dum Mix)
(From Behind Bars album; 1994)



U.K readers - feel free to unfurl them narratives on how Rick's show in your manor goes down. No lie, if he plays the corny Morcheeba song and not The Moment I Feared then I'm tellin' Purple Aki that Rick's the henchest man in town tonight. It's not a game, God M.C.

Wednesday, 23 November 2016

Rap game Raven

What's the funniest f*ck-up on this new Boosie mixtape - is it WNC Whop Bezzy gettin' Mac Malapropismed as Whoop on U Know I Ain't Scared, or is it WNC Carlos gettin' What About Me?-ed entirely when he's also credited as Whoop on My Lil' Son?



I'm gonna plump for the latter since this is karma for Carlos switching his moniker from 70th Street Carlos to WNC Carlos and then back to 70th Street Carlos again. You wanted to make this shit confusin' for rap fans? Here you go then, bruv.

Monday, 21 November 2016

Martorial Elegance # 88

True Story like Terror Squad first LP: not a lotta people know this, but G.O.O.D Music's 2007 single Grammy Family was a tribute to Fat Joe. As in, we can fit the entire G.O.O.D roster famalam into that baby blue suit Joe wore at the 1999 Grammy Awards.


Holla @ ya host if every shirt or jacket by the notoriously boxy-fitting Bork menswear brand Our Legacy makes you look like Don Choppergena here. First off, f*ck Our Legacy and the size chart they claim, where an M fits like an XXL, I feel your pain.

Friday, 18 November 2016

Just A Friendly Game Of Basketball

"Together, girl, we.. we can't be stopped
This ain't no rebound, go for the block
The time runnin' out, look at the clock
And when we need points, go for the shot"


Eat Em - Trophy
(From YouTube; 2016)



If the Space Jam 2 movie ever happens then Eat Em's Trophy should be its soundtrack's equivalent of the Quad City DJ's title track. Like Twista's theme from that NBA Live game, you don't even have to give a shit about basketball to appreciate that Trophy is catchy af - good news for ya host & most non-Yank rap fans. Only a real NBA YoungBoy could rescue a concept previously mishandled by Audrey and do it in a song that's 80% hook - watch for the verse on some inverse Cool Breeze type shit. Find the Trophy MP3 here.

Remember when Jermaine Dupri remade Kurtis Blow's Basketball with Bow Wow & Fabolous? How come rappers rarely ever remake Kurtis' good songs?

Thursday, 17 November 2016

Swipe Me Down

What happened to the world this november? First Joe Blow pulls a penknife on A-Wax, then Donald Trump makes like Eric B, then everyone goes cuckoo over a ATCQ album which often sounds like fake-rastamon Run The Jewels, then Mr. 3-2 gets snuffed, then Daisy Lowe gets kicked off Strictly Come Dancing, and now your dad's Tinder profile pic has popped up as an advert on the Siccness main page:


Every region got they own Chucky Workclothes?

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Kudos to whoever uploaded the 2016 mix of Egyptian Lover's Kinky Nation (Kingdom Kum) to YouTube

Egyptian Lover - Kinky Nation (Kingdom Kum) [808 Mix]
(From 1983 - 1988 anthology 2xCD; 2016)



"Kinky Nation was a good song but I never truly loved it because I used a different drum machine. So for this project I went back into the studio and replaced the drums with an 808 and now I am happy with it."
- Greg "Egyptian Lover" Broussard, 2016.

30 years on from 1986, an aiiight filler track from Egyptian Lover's One Track Mind LP now has more bump 'n' grind than Liz Taylor & Richard Burton on the set of Cleopatra. Conclusive proof that an artist tinkering with their old work occasionally yields good results.

Also a pertinent reminder of when sex-raps left certain details to the imagination since this is now the era of "dick so big it's like a foot is in your mouth", "I'm 18 but I got a tight pussy like I'm 8", "put that dick up in her like an enema" and so on. Somehow the rap game reminds me of a dodgy '70s Color Climax smut movie, and I'm like ‘come back, Nas, all is forgiven!’

Monday, 14 November 2016

Bacon bra

Spice - Glimity Glamity
(From Car Crash Evolution riddim; 2016)



Turnin' bloggas heads like The Exorcist, it's the Demon Gyalz. Even Spice's songs in a more traditional Dancehall stylee still sound light years ahead of her peers. Can't no man ever say her pussy is dutty like swine, but man like ya host can add Glimity Glamity to his best of Spice 2014 - 2016 playlist.

Saturday, 12 November 2016

Why couldn't God have taken 3D from Massive Attack instead of Mr. 3-2???

Chicken N Kalinka presents the best of Mr. 3-2 mix
(From YouTube; 2016)



Pray for Lil' Keke and Yungstar because the curse of the Screwed Up Click strikes yet again. R.I.P to the G.O.A.T bit-player of Houston rap. Kinda ironic that one of the rappers behind Illegal Aliens should get gunned down mere days after Donald Trump is elected president of 'Murica, though, innit? Pray for Big Mike and Phil Collins too.

Friday, 11 November 2016

How many Leonard Cohen songs you got on your phone, bruv/luv?


Like Sun Ra, Patti Smith, Fela Kuti, Tom Waits, and post-2010 Lil B, Leonard Cohen is one of those artists who people pretend to adore but nobody actually enjoys listening to. Don't even dare front like you rap-internet melon farmers can name any Leonard Choen songs other than the one Christian Slater used as his intro musik in Pump Up The Volume and/or the one Alexandra Burke covered because dude was just an indie-jukebox Chris Rea who'd never recorded anything which jams as hard pon street as Road To Hell. Remember, my dears, I can smell a lie like a fart in a car, and there's somethin' stank in the air right now.

Wednesday, 9 November 2016

Pull up like Rodney in ya baby momma's Honda

"N*ggas tellin' war stories, but I ain't impressed
I cut 'em off mid-sentence, tell 'em save they breath
You can't be gangsta overnight, you gotta take the steps
Instead of playin' the hand they dealt, they tryna shake the deck"


Young Devi D - Gangsta
(From Chess Not Checkers album; 2016)



On my soul, I'll always love when a mainstream pop song gets flipped into some mainey mob shit as Young Devi D did with Kat Dahlia's Gangsta here. On the real, Pimpin' Curly must be an icon in Kansas City because every gangsta-rapper from K.C always claims they've got their enemy's baby mommas on the payroll.

Oi Rey - did Devi get locked up again or did he just decide to abandon all his social media accounts at the same damn time? Damn shame if it's the former because dooooooooood's music contains multitudes.

Monday, 7 November 2016

Reasons why I love YouTube: Trel Itz A Hit edition

Trel Itz A Hit - 3rd World (instrumental)
(From YouTube; 2016)



There's no excuse for any Louisiana rapper to be doin' their own dang over generic trap beats when the producer behind WNC's Cross Me, Keep A Glock, Bang Out, and Who You Playing With has a YouTube channel full of instrumentals for sale. Beserker-bounce that'd suit everyone from the WNC squad to Mystikal to 5th Ward Weebie is his forte, but he's also got that Louisiana trunk music which'd work for legends like Wayne and Boosie as well as upstarts like T.E.C & Maine Musik. The petition to get Foxx to cop the South Louisiana Swag beat starts here.

Trel Itz A Hit - South Louisiana Swag (instrumental)
(From YouTube; 2015)




Trel's also got that more traditional gangsta shit for the concrete and the Bayou alike, and he's even a dab hand with remakes of Louisiana classics which have never been released in instrumental form before. Everything from B.G's N My City to Soulja Slim's Ya Heard Me to Beelow's I'm A Beast to a personal fantasy instrumental in Juvenile's Roll With 'Em:

Trel Itz A Hit - Roll Wit Em (instrumental)
(From YouTube; 2014)



For future reference, these are the instrumentals for Keep A Glock, Cross Me, Bang Out, and Who You Playing With. F*ck a rat, f*ck a snake, and f*ck a pig - especially a snake.

Sunday, 6 November 2016

Sometimes it beez that way, mami

Dunno too much about R&B meself, but even a savage like moi can recognise a 5/5 Tinashe jam when I hear it. In a perfect world Touch Pass would be one of the 3 biggest songs on the planet right now behind Spice's Indicator and Tink's Aquafina; in the real world Touch Pass is destined to be ruined by a guest appearance from either Schoolboy-Q or Bhris Brown.

Tinashe - Touch Pass
(From Tinashe's Nightride mixtape; 2016)


Can see why the rest of this new Tinashe project got released as a stocking-filler mixtape rather than her official sophomore album, tbh. Tinashe? More like Tinearshe amirite! Rumour has it ol' girl wanted Bobby Brackins to whip up some more magic with his songwriting pen but he was busy recording Daisy Duke's wedding theme for the next Dukes Of Hazzard franchise reboot.

Bobby Brackins - My Bride
(From To Live For EP; 2016)


Saturday, 5 November 2016

Re-Up Gong

Quick repost of my best of Grip Plyaz playlist since nu-Atlanta rappers are still out here shamelessly biting him in 2016. Who'm I talkin' 'bout? Y'know wasisname.

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