Sunday, 24 June 2018

Reasons why I love YouTube part whatever

Black Sheep performing that song live at MTV Spring Break in 1992 with Cypress Hill and Smooth B joining them onstage as impromptu back-up dancers. Clip is so hype it can make you temporarily forget that The Choice Is Yours (Revisited) is one of those legitimate 10/10 classics to have been ruined by lazy DJs overplaying it - ubiquity's gonna kill your favourite 90s banger quicker than a favour or a bullet.

Friday, 22 June 2018

Heavy C

"Catch your baby momma, make my young'n's steal her purse
I know a lotta n*ggas want me in the hearse
But I'm strapped you fuckin' clown, you motherfuckin' jerk
I got n*ggas in black all round your house, you 'bout to get merked"

70th Street Carlos - Big Knots
(From t'internet; 2018)

Really wish rappers wouldn't invite visits from the Grim Reaper upon themselves in their #barz like that. Here at The Martorialist we definitely ain't tryna see 70th Street Carlos become Baton Rouge's answer to Heavy D on some The Overweight Lover's In The Hearse type shit.

Anyhoo, Big Knots initially felt like a disappointment after last month's trifecta of Bang Bang, Sprite, and Wreck, but shit's a grower like chickweed on your granddad's allotment. A proper bells of doom 4 Horsemen Of The Apocalypse entrance theme.

Tuesday, 19 June 2018

R.I.P Jimmy Wopo

Pittsburgh really is the pits, huh? Pour out a little Snapple for the tragically slain Jimmy Wopo, now cursed to be "that other rapper who died on the same day XXXHamster got snuffed". It's a mystery Scooby Doo why it's always gotta be rappers who die - it's about time some Drum & Bass producers and Death Metal bands get sent back to the essence instead to #RestoreTheBalance

It doesn't even matter that Wopo blew his creative load early in his career with Elm Street, Walkin' Bomb Pt. 2, and Nanana because a smattering of brilliant songs will always make up for a whole lotta so-so material thereafter. That said, ya host still wishes that Back Door was a solo track because that one had to potential to be Wopo's best song until Sonny Digital decided to lay a ho-hum guest verse on it.

R.I.P Wopo - I'll never be able to see Ousmane Dembélé without thinking he's a dead ringer 4 u.

Monday, 18 June 2018

You 48 and you still slappin'? Mmmmm

"The streets talkin', them bullets like HUUUUUMMMM
No name for the blame but a barrel of a gun
But, whoooooa, them streets is cold
And that's the same thing as hot when you on my block, let's go!"

Dru Down ft. Mistah F.A.B - Streets Is Cold
(From G.P. No P.C. Lock Up album; 2018)

Good old man pimpidoo mob music from D Squared & some uncredited breh who sounds vaguely familiar. Moral of the slap? Stick to ya cataplults if you ain't got no aim, lil' hombres. Ideally this one would have dropped on a cassingle with My 501's and For Real (retitled as Tube Socks on Dru's new album.)

*EDIT* Guest is Mistah F.A.B sounding far more contemplative than his usual self.

Thursday, 14 June 2018

Generic list post: 80s non-Rap 101

Robert Tepper dramatically lip-syncing his way through the best song from the Rocky IV OST on some German TV show. Lotta speculation in the YouTube comments about whether Tepper colours his hair or not, but I couldn't care less meself - if he dyes, he dyes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's non-Rap week here on The Martorialist, mainly because ya host has been struck down by a strong dose of blogger's block. Thus, here's a companion to the 80's Rap 101 post generic list post: 101 great non-Rap songs from the decade when Paolo Rossi was never called an arsehole.

Gen X - Dancing With Myself (O.G 7" version) (1980)
Mavis John - Use My Body (1980)
Motorhead - Ace Of Spades (1980)
Roger Troutman - So Ruff So Tuff (1980)
Siouxsie & The Banshees - Happy House (1980)
Diana Ross - Upside Down (1980)
The Cramps - I Was A Teenage Werewolf (1980)
Blondie - Call Me (1980)
The Brat - Leave Me Alone (1980)
Joy Division - Isolation (1980)
Maze ft. Frankie Beverley - Before I Let Go (1981)
Kraftwerk - It's More Fun To Compute (1981)
The Jam - Funeral Pyre (1981)
Human League - Don't You Want Me (1981)
Minor Threat - Straight Edge (1981)
Glory - Let's Get Nice (7" version) (1981)
Hall & Oates - I Can't Go for That (No Can Do) (1981)
The Go-Go's - Our Lips Are Sealed (1981)
The Plugz - El Clavo Y La Cruz (1981)
John Carpenter & Alan Howarth - Chase Across The 69th Street Bridge (1981)
Bad Brains - I (1982)
Fun Boy Three ft. Bananarama - It Ain't What You Do.... (1982)
Vanity 6 - Nasty Girl (1982)
John Sullivan & Ronnie Hazelhurst - Hooky Street (1982)
Michael "Mars Bar" Jackson - Billie Jean (1982)
Negative Approach - Ready To Fight (1982)
ABC - Poison Arrow (1982)
Musical Youth - Pass The Dutchie (1982)
The Freeze - Refrigerator Heaven (1982)
Patrice Rushen - Forget Me Nots (1982)
Deep Wound - Video Prick (1982)
Debarge - I Like It (1982)
FEAR - New York's Alright If You Like Saxophones (1982)
Haircut One Hundred - Ski Club (1982)
Blancmange - Living On The Ceiling (1982)
The Style Council - Long Hot Summer (1983)
ESG - Moody (Spaced Out) (1983)
Bananarama - Cruel Summer (1983)
The RAH Band - Messages From The Stars (1983)
Yes - Owner Of A Lonely Heart (1983)
Rick James - Cold Blooded (1983)
Mary Jane Girls - All Night Long (1983)
Suicidal Tendencies - Institutionalized (1983)
New Order - Blue Monday (1983)
Billy Joel - Careless Talk (1983)
Rufus & Chaka Khan - Ain't Nobody (1983)
Yellowman - Zungguzungguguzungguzeng (1983)
Prince & The Revolution - The Beautiful Ones (1984)
Nu Shooz - I Can't Wait (1984)
Black Flag - Slip It In (1984)
Bronski Beat - Smalltown Boy (1984)
New Edition - Mr. Telephone Man (1984)
Philip Bailey & Phil Collins - Easy Lover (1984)
Hüsker Dü - Never Talking To You Again (1984)
Wham - Careless Whisper (1984)
Tears For Fears - Shout (1984)
Dennis Edwards ft. Siedah Garrett - Don't Look Any Further (1984)
Harold Faltermeyer - Axel F (1984)
Duran Duran - Wild Boys (1984)
Madonna - Into The Groove (1985)
Brad Fiedel - Dream Window (1985)
Simply Red - Holding Back The Years (1985)
Cherelle ft. Alexander O'Neal - Saturday Love (1985)
Robert Tepper - No Easy Way Out (1985)
Model 500 - Night Drive (Thru-Babylon) (1985)
Yello - Oh Yeah (1985)
Dead Or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) (1985)
Art Of Noise - Moments In Love (7" version) (1985)
Anita Baker - Sweet Love (1986)
Bl'ast! - Nightmare (1986)
Virgo - Free Yourself (1986)
Mr. Fingers - Can You Feel It? (1986)
Sleezy D - I've Lost Control (Space Side) (1986)
Adonis - No Way Back (1986)
Half Man Half Biscuit - Trumpton Riots (1986)
Dag Nasty - Circles (1986)
Janet Jackson - What Have You Done For Me Lately (1986)
Talk Talk - Life's What You Make It (1986)
Cro Mags - Hard Times (1986)
Peter Gabriel - Big Time (1986)
Cameo - Candy (1986)
Guns N' Roses - It's So Easy (1987)
Frankie Knuckles ft. Jamie Principle - Baby Wants To Ride (1987)
Phuture - Your Only Friend (1987)
Tim Capello - I Still Believe (1987)
Terence Trent D'Arby - Sign Your Name (1987)
INXS - Need You Tonight (1987)
Coldcut - Beats + Pieces (1987)
Sade - Turn My Back On You (1988)
Danzig - Mother (1988)
Bobby Brown - My Perogative (1988)
Guy - Teddy's Jam (1988)
Al B. Sure! - Night And Day (1988)
Infest - Fetch The Pliers (1988)
808 State - Pacific (1989)
Depeche Mode - Personal Jesus (1989)
The Reynolds Girls - I'd Rather Jack (1989)
Faith No More - Edge Of The World (1989)
Tamsin West - Round The Twist (Theme) (1989)
Soul II Soul - Back to Life (However Do You Want Me) (1989)
Nirvana - School (1989)

***EDIT* Thanx to Noah for turning this into a YouTube playlist.

Tuesday, 12 June 2018

"And now for something completely different..."

One of ya host's favourite new-to-me discoveries of the past couple of years, found when reading an interview with Repo Man director/former Moviedrome host/greatest living Scouser Alex Cox: the 1980 EP by the L.A Chicano Punk band The Brat. Bird up front on vocals, teenage angst on deck, and a strong ear for a tune so comparisons with X are inevitable, but The Brat were rawer, which always helps Punk music age better dunnit.

Related trivia: when Alex Cox first met Harry Dean Stanton's agent he tried to get Cox to consider another one of his clients for the role of Bud in Repo Man instead of Stanton.

All seemed to be going properly and professionally, so I paid a courtesy visit to Harry's agent at the most famous Hollywood agency. This was an eye opener. I spent 20 minutes chatting to the agent about what a great actor Harry was, and the wonderful work he'd done. The agent listened and then said, ‘Harry Dean's okay, but he's past it. You need someone younger, more up-and-coming. I also represent Mick Jagger. Why don't you offer Mick the part?’

This gobsmacked me. First, Jagger was completely wrong for the role of a grizzled, burned-out L.A repo man. And second, the agent was out of line. We'd offered Harry the part, and here his agent was trying to do him out of the job. It was immoral, surely a breach of contract, and stupid. I replied that Harry's age, experience, and nationality made him the best choice, made my excuses and left.

Thursday, 7 June 2018

Flid Marti

Kid Capri - Intro
(From 10/09/89 mixtape; 1989)

Doesn't matter whether your leisurewear is Prada or Primark, this is still pure goosebumps under yer sweatsuit vibes innit? Kid Capri's blend of Stephanie Mills' Something In The Way You Make Feel acapella over the Impeach The President drum-break was Rap & Bullshit before Ron G or Uptown Records. Dome blown within the comforts of my own home that it was also Hype Williams' inspiration for using the acapella of Soul II Soul's Back To Life to soundtrack Belly's opening scene:

Monday, 4 June 2018

"Your shit is underground, my shit is underwater" 2k18

"Let's keep it trill, bitch, I'm in that water like a Navy seal
On them percocets, got me roarin' like a damn wheel
Her skillz give me thrillz, suck my ballz and give me chillz
Bitch, I'm starvin', I need a meal, I got my tool with my drill"

WNC Ram Bam - G Warfare
(From Rehabilitation mixtape: 2018)

In that water like LL Cool J in Deep Blue Sea, even the WNC 2nd-stringers like Ram Bam are comin' with that fire H20 right now.

Related: smfh @ Alamo Records for listing all of 70th Street Carlos music on Amazon/Spotify etc as 70thstcarlos.

Saturday, 2 June 2018

R.I.P Channel U/AKA

"It looks like it's just me n da girls
Because all the mandem are doin' sumfin' else"

Gemini - Me N Da Girls
(From Channel U; 2007 or 2008)

We'll always have Gemini's Me N Da Girls even if 90% of the other songs played on Channel U were only notable for their struggle comedy value. We can try but we'll never forget Bearman, Mr. Wong, Jelluzz, and Tulisa's coke dealer m8 Mike GLC.

AKA was mah spot, though. Where else on national British telly could you catch videos by Donae'o, Giggs, Kwamz & Flava, J Hus, Young T & Bugsey, and Maleek Berry next to videos by YG, Spice, Tinashe, Rich Homie Quan, Busy Signal, and Tay-K, followed by a Best of Snoop video hour? Ya host's bouts of summer insomnia are gonna be precisely 95% more boring from hereon in unless KerrangTV do regular Danzig specials or NOW 80s start showing Fun Boy Three videographies.

Get Elton John in to perform Candle N Da Wind for Freeview channel number 373 innit. Above the clouds with .TV, Bravo and that quiz station Suzanne Cowie used to present on.

Friday, 1 June 2018

The P in P.S.K stands for Pussy

"Nowadays n*ggas mad because you ain't they bitch
Beat this pussy on him, shorty instantly pussy whipped
Left his ass blue by the balls, he a Crip
Tongue in my shit, by the mouth he a ship"

Queen Key ft. Dreezy - Ha
(From Eat My Pussy EP; 2018)

Finally the fairer sex have their own P.S.K. Thought Valee & Chase The Money's Acid was the final frontier of Chicago sub-bass, but evidently not.

Wednesday, 30 May 2018

Generic list post: May 2018

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Famous Amos & DJ iPod's I Bet U Won't challenge continued to lay golden (l)eggs.

Z-Man - White Girls Wit Ass (1999)
Husalah - Bad Young Thang (2018)
E-40 & B-Legit ft. Stresmatic - Meet The Dealers (2018)
DaBoii of SOB X RBE - Onna Gang (2018)
70th Street Carlos - Wreck (2018)
70th Street Carlos - Sprite (2018)
BlocBoy JB - No Chorus Part 11 (2018)
Valee ft. Jeremih - Womp Womp (2018)
Devo - Fountain Of Filth (1977/1991)

Other notables: 70th Street Carlos' Bang Bang ain't half bad either; the City Girls' Period (We Live) is kinda like Shut Up if it were recorded by a female Poison Clan; Vouch coulda been my favoirite Kevin Gates song since Neon Lights if it weren't for the stale Auto-Tune vox; couldn't muster up the will to sift through a 27 song Rae Sremmurd album since all its lead singles have been boring; alas Kali Mac's Show The Ladies Some Love isn't good enough to be the 2k18 version of Rated X's Be Cool To Your Girl.

Tuesday, 29 May 2018

Shut Up!

"I call my last thang Monolopy
I fucked him so good I own a few properties"

City Girls - Period (We Live)
(From Period album; 2018)

"We gon' let the band deal with this! M.I.A style, old skool!" Via ANU and that's fo sho doe. Is this Trina's new song? Hell no, bro, it's the hoe Poison Clan on Quality Control.

Saturday, 26 May 2018

Now that's what the f**k I call a chain reaction!

If A-Wax now refuses to make good music/argue with Husalah on social media then at least he's making himself useful in the Rap game by coming out with the best chain of 2018. How's this for a wet dream?:

A post shared by A-Wax (@waxfase) on

Thursday, 24 May 2018

Generic list post: Detroit Rap City

Ain't gon' lie, ya host is hardly a Detroit Rap maven - the only Eminem album I've ever heard in full is The Slim Shady LP, nor have I ever heard any joints by Slum Village, Trick-Trick, Phat Kat, Guilty Simpson, BandGang or Rocaiine that I've ever wanted to play twice. Ya host does, however, know that it's been warm in The D ever since Cybotron dropped Cosmic Cars in 1982, so here's a generic list post of my G.O.A.T Detroit jams.

Cybotron - Clear (1983)
Awesome Dre & The Hardcore Committee - Killer On Wax (1989)
Esham - No Singin' At My Funeral (1993)
Bo$$ - Deeper (1993)
Aux 88 - Electrotechno (1996)
Eminem - My Name Is (1998)
Royce Da 5'9 - I'm The King (1999)
D12 - Shit On You (2000)
Jay Dee - Fuck The Police (2001)
Obie Trice - Got Some Teeth (2003)
Frank-N-Dank - What Up (2006)
Black Milk ft. Royce Da 5'9 - Losing Out (2009)
Elzhi - Deep (2010)
Danny Brown - Lincoln Continental (2011)
Pablo Skywalkin - All Facts (2013)
Boldy James - Moochie (2013)
Big Sean - Paradise (O.G version) (2014)
Quelle Chris - Buddies (2017)
Doughboyz Cashout ft. B Ryan - This Is How We Move It (2017)
FMB DZ - Friday (2017)

This might be the first generic list post where I won't just politely sneer at any "OMG you need a song by ______" comments. Skool me on some Detroit choonz, lads!

Related: P.H.I.L.L.Y.

Tuesday, 22 May 2018


Dunno about youze lot, but here at The Martorialist we're absolutely flabbergasted that some shitty Tumblr rapper who used to chum it up with ex-SPIN writers involved in Das Rapistgate/various failed aspiring A&Rs from The Wavery would turn out to be a serial-sex predator. Where art thou Kitty Pryde when t'internet requires you to call a Tumblr rapper's rape victims a bunch of attention-seeking liars again?

Actual factz, relax: in terms of #problematicness and rapey behaviour, Tumblr rappers beget Soundcloud rappers. If Das Racist were the Tumblr-rap(ist) XXXtentacion, then Yung Gleesh was the Tekashi69, and now Antwon is the No Jumper weed carrier Lil' Housephone.

Monday, 21 May 2018

Mr. Swerve-On

"She say I turn her up, she call me coffee
She said eat her cat, I said that's where you lost me
She said Ding Dong, I told her Cross Me
All these n*ggas hatin' on me, they need to get up off me"

70th Street Carlos - Wreck
(From t'internet; 2018)

Blown out the frame like Pan Am Flight 103 by the kid from 70th Street. Carlos aka Boosie FatAzz stays showin' up and showin' out in this weekly series of his that we'll call May Madness.

Friday, 18 May 2018

Julianne EscoBeedaWeeda Shepherd

Another reason why ya host ain't gonna never actually pay for any official streaming service: the only version of Beeda Weeda's Bass Rock Babies on there is the jankey 2014 re-recording. O.G leaked loosie version FTW 4 life.

"If you was born in the 80's you a bass rock baby
Your parents either sold drugs or did 'em on the daily
Bass rock hit, the 'hood went crazy
Shit got shady, the streets got mainey
Safety was a issue, a stray might hit you
We went from fist-fisting to killin' with pistols
Task pullin' kick door's, the turf goin' skitzo
You had a drop stain, my n*gga, you was official"

Beeda Weeda - Bass Rock Babies
(From t'internet; 2010)

Arguably the G.O.A.T DJ Fresh blap, definitely the best Beeda Weeda slap, unfortunately a lost DigitalDripped classic when it should have been as big as D-Lo's No Hoe.

Wednesday, 16 May 2018

Louisiana tubas alert!

"Shut up, why you lyin', all my bitches fine
I look like I'm blind, I been dumb since I was nine
Lemme hit up my barber I'm finna go and get a line
I sip too much lean, it's fuckin' with my kidney
Rule number one: you better not ever leave no witness
Put that tool in his mouth just like he at the dentist
My circle smaller than a period at the end of a sentence"

70th Street Carlos - Sprite
(From t'internet; 2018)

Back to the Trel again from Carlos after last week's ol' robotic futuristic George Jetson type shit. If 'los is dropping a new video every tuesday can we get either of these next week?

Disclaimer: here at The Martorialist we don't approve of rappers drinking lean, mind. Remember dem dayz when Sprite was summat vaguely innocent that rappers shilled for when homaging Double Trouble on the stoop in Wild Style?

Always thought Nas & AZ missed a trick by not casting Nature as the random lad who turns up all excited and snappin' his fingers.

Sunday, 13 May 2018

Johnny Rap presents The Martorialist 80's Rap 101 Zippyshares

Johnny Rap done zipped up my 80's Rap 101 generic list post into 3 separate RAR files so you no longer have any excuse to sleep on Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde's Doing The Do, Z-3 MC's Triple Threat, or Stezo's Girl Trouble.

Download 'em here: part 1, part 2, and part 3.

Thursday, 10 May 2018

Dirt Off Your Shoulders

Nas - Street Dreams
(From It Was Written album; 1996)

Word is bond, son, I had dem shitz down as grassy knolls like dis.

Tuesday, 8 May 2018

**Easy Mo Bee voice**

"Yo Carlos, I don't even understand how they didn't understand you on them Trel Itz A Hit joints.
Kick somethin' over some old robotic, futuristic George Jetson type shit..."

"Dirty cup, uhh, that's that medicine
Dirty pistol, but I'm fresher than a peppermint
I hear them n*ggas hatin', I got ears just like an Elephant
Look like I got wings 'cause I'm flyer than a Pelican"

70th Street Carlos - Bang Bang
(From t'internet; 2018)

Let it be known that Carlos AKA Chubb Glock treats them non-Trel productions right too. It's the joints: OG, One Day, the I Bet You Won't (Remix), and Bang Bang right chea.

Sunday, 6 May 2018

I'm part of the mafia, Czechoslovakia

"My girl is AZN, my gun is Russian
Shit stay wet because they both be bussin'"

Husalah - Bad Young Thang
(From H album; 2018)

The combination of RobLo production & Lev Berlak engineering stays soundin' like it was beamed down from another planet, huh? Like I said to Homeboy Bobby Sandsman AKA Donal, Bad Young Thang has gotta be the most effective The Power Of Mac Dre Compels Thee track since J-Diggs' What Would Dre Say. Even squares and stoolies gotta put their E.T fingers up for this one.

Weirdest thing about the Husalah album is that A-Wax didn't make a single Instagram post besmirching it. Has the 'Wax vs. Hus' beef finally gone to the crossroads?