Every DOOM okie-doke is goin' according to plan, man

F*ck Jay Goa Trance, the only new KMD album which needs to happen is a deluxe remastered version of Black Bastards with those unreleased Subroc demos the DWG lads were trying to release a few years back, and a new tribute to Subroc over the Arrow Root instrumental which DOOM wasted on Scienz Of Life. Bobbito can do the liner notes, but only if he candidly flips fly prose in the style of his ad libs on Rhymes Like Dimes.

Nef rock the jewellery with the clear stones and get on a blogga head like some earphones

Super stoked wid it to find out that Bling Blaow is Nef The Pharaoh's biggest song since Big Tymin' because it happens to be his best song since #Saydatt. The kid cuddy needed to get back to some ol' fashioned Vallejo spittin' with a slick tone because too much of his recent music has been prone to middle of the mall self-mythologizing; this is great when it's the Bildungsroman of Come Pick Me Up or the victory-lap of No Masturbation, but not so listenable when it falls into the tabloid "just got off tour with G-Eazy/went to the waffle house with E-Feezy" matter-of-factness of practically everything he's released since the Neffy Got Wings tape. What Would Dre Say? Keep it bigger than life, do it Magnum.

"Where your diamonds at? I cannot see 'em in the dark
You a Sharpie, it ain't a compliment, I'm callin' you a mark"

Nef The Pharaoh ft. Slimmy B - Bling Blaow
(From The Chang Project mixtape/YouTube; 2017)


The only downside to Bling Blaow blowin' up is that it means Nef's slap with Mannie Fresh probably ain't gonna drop anytime soon.

Generic list post: 2008 jams & heartbreak

Ain't heard no new shit that's tickled my fancy yet this month so let's rewind back to 2008. Hardly a vintage annum for music, but contrary to what you'll read on the internet nowadays, 808s & Heartbreak wasn't the pinnacle of rap in '008. Thus, 30 choonz from the year when Joey Barton did a spot of porridge:

Suga Free - Allergic To Bullshit
Lil' Wayne - A Milli
Max B - Picture Me Rollin'
French Montana & Max B - Steak Sause
Hot Stylz ft. Yung Joc - Lookin' N*gga
A.B.N - Uhh Hmm
Yung LA ft. Young Dro & T.I. - Ain't I (Remix)
Heltah Skeltah - The Art Of Disrespekinazation
Curren$y - Reagan Era
All $tar - Keep Doing My Thing
Webbie ft. Lil' Phat & Lil' Boosie - Independent
3 Deep - Say What I Wanna Say
AZ ft. Styles P - The Hardest (Part 2)
Big Boi ft. Raekwon & Andre 3000 - Royal Flush
Maino - Role Model
DB Tha General - Ima Get It
Mic Terror - Get Off
The Jacka ft. Cellski - Won't Be Right
Husalah & B-Luv - That Go
AP.9 - Snitch's Worst Nightmare
Jackie Chain ft. Jhi Ali - Rollin'
Uncle Murda - Anybody Can Get It
Young Jeezy - Circulate
Soulja Boy ft. Gucci Mane & Yo Gotti - Shopping Spree
Big Tuck ft. Q6 & Gucci Mane - Pussy & Patron
Nappy Roots ft. Greg Street - Good Day
Prodigy & Twin Gambino - Box Cutters
DG Yola ft. B.o.B & Lil' Boosie - Fuck You
Andre Nickatina & Mac Dre - Cadillac Girl (Remix)
Wiz Khalifa - Say Yeah

I don't Google Doodle on the paper!

Birfdays was the worst days, but we got posts for 4 Elementz survivalists when they thirstaaay. Celebrate Hip Hop kulcha's 44th born day with the best scene from the 2nd best documentary about what went down in the Bronx during 1973 - 1983. Brim fought the law and the law won, but at least he got to theatrically cross some train tracks wearing a pair of Star Trek shades to Jonzun Crew's Space Is The Place in the process.


Props to Kool Herc for not being a serial pederast who enjoys Kraut Techno or a scam artist who plays Blur's Song 2 in his DJ sets unlike his 2 fellow Bronx pillars of whatever the f*ck Hip Hop kulcha is supposed to be (a lighthouse luring retarded ageing Californian whiggas like AC Tha PD and Wicked22 to the shores of rap message boards?)

Dirty Leeds

LFO - We Are Back
(From Frequencies album; 1991)


AKA the song which combined the disparate aesthetics of Ron Hardy and Don Revie. We Are Back doffed it's flatcap to Phuture's The Creator and then politely bodied that shit. This is Leeds not Chicago!

One of my older raver m8s once told me that We Are Back was considered a disappointment back in't day after the LFO and Leeds Warehouse Remix 12"s. Imagine that! Conclusive proof that you can't trust the opinions of Techno 'eadz or wot?

BTW, this isn't the official We Are Back video because no such thing exists. It's actually a fan-made extended edit of the mixed version of the song from Dave Clarke's X-Mix - Electro Boogie VHS tape. Or as it's known around these parts, the mix which finally sold me on the more subtle charms of Hashim's Primrose Path.

Ga, Ba, Te & Ra

Great Atlanta rap songs of the modern era which sound like they were designed to soundtrack shanty town shootouts in the mythical blaxploitation spaghetti westerns that exist only in my head: Future's Sh!t, Migos' Hannah Montana, Ralo's Calm Down Ralo.

"If he come around with them chains on
I bet he gonna leave with them chains gone"

Ralo - Calm Down Ralo
(From Famerican Gangster II mixtape; 2017)


The ultimate Movies4Men & Chill anthem, plus the missing link between Tragedy Khadafi and Gary, Barry & Terry. A fistful of late passes for ya host because this shit is undeniable and I feel silly for fronting on it until now. As the title of the 2nd best Django movie very nearly said, Ralo kilt... if it jams, post!

Another major L for The Guardian's coverage of rap (part 2076)

Only The Guardian could take the classic music journalist faux pas of thinking Grandmaster Flash was the rapper in the Furious Five to a whole 'nother level of cluelessness. Behold:



Comin' soon in The Guardian: King Creole's best moments for the Furious Five.

Comin' soon on VladTV: Lord Jamar says Kidd Creole was framed by the Gay Mafia!

Born to Audiomack: 2017 jams

All I Got Iz Me today with a quick Audiomack playlist of ya host's 20 favourite jams of the year thus far. Songs by Camp Lo, T-Pain & Lil' Wayne, Madvillian, Level & Mouse On Track, Valee, OMB Peezy, Quelle Chris, Dru Down, Creek Boyz, SOB X RBE, Ayo & Teo, J Hus etc. Essentially, it's this post, but streamlined and streamable.

Generic list post: July 2017

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when it woz Nigel wot sunk it.

Biz Markie - Off The Top Of My Head (1990)
Berner ft. Cait Da Lee - Berner (2007)
Husalah ft. The Jacka - 100 Rounds In The K (2007)
Lil' Wayne - Dinnertime (2008/2017)
YG - Fuck It Up (2017)
Yung Cat - OG Stack A Dollar (2017)
Allstar Lee - Fresh Prince Of Brick Mile (2017)
Wamdue Kids - Hypnotize (1995)

Other notables: Keydo Foolfunk's Woodstock is a rare example of good Sunz of Mane-rap in an ever-expanding sea of generic trap shit about whippin' da work in kitchens; Try Sumthin' is OMB Peezy's first song of 2017 that I'm lukewarm on, mainly because I only enjoy Yhung T.O as a hooksmith; as I said in June, A-Wax really needs to lay off the Auto-Tune and hop off Atlanta's dick; I didn't listen to any other new rap this month ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

PS: contrary to public perception, YG's Fuck It Up is a sequel to his 2009 Jerk song of the same name rather than the Kamaiyah song of the same name he appeared on last year. Very much down for She A Model 2k17 next.

Even when I'm bloggin', I'm bein' sincere

According to Instagram, tomorrow marks the 30th anniversary of LL Cool J's Bigger and Deffer album; that's 3 entire decades since LL redefined 'ardcore 'ip 'op with I'm Bad, recorded the first great rap ballad with I Need Love, and reanimated Chuck Berry's back catalogue with Go Cut Creator Go. The latter song was the only one of the album's three singles not to have been blessed with ill visualz, but who needs a video when you've got LL's barnstorming performance of it on Saturday Night Live where DJ Bobcat bodied DJ Cut Creator on his own tribute song?


Attention Soundcloud rappers in Metallica t-shirts: you ain't allowed to refer to yourselves as Rockstars if your air-guitar skillz ain't up to par with Uncle L.

For doz about to Do Wop, we salute you.

Scientific goin' beserk like Red Alert

From '86-'88, Def Jam had me on the shelf and wouldn't release any of my music. I went to @kooldjredalert's house in Harlem with #TheRulersBack cassette and asked him to play it on his show. That same evening he spinned it on 98.7 Kiss and the rest was history. The song had the streets on fire and Def Jam quickly had a release date for #TheGreatAdventuresOfSlickRick.

A post shared by Slick Rick The Ruler (@therulernyc) on Jul 24, 2017 at 11:39am PDT

It woz DJ Red Alert wot won it for MC Ricky D.

Generic list post: We Collated The Remix

Remember dem days when rap remixes weren't just superfluous throwaways featuring guest verses from French Montana and Rick Ross? If not, here's the 50 best rap remixes of all time as according to ya host (in no particular order, mind.). All of these remixes are either significantly better than whence they came or significantly different enough from the original to exist as their own entity. None of them were remixed by CJ Wackintosh.

Slick Rick ft. Warren G - Behind Bars (Dum Ditty Dum Mix) (1994)
Ice Cube ft. Das EFX - Check Yo' Self (Remix) (1992)
Snoop Doggy Dogg - Murder Was The Case (Remix) (1994)
KMD ft. MF Grimm - What A N*gga Know (Remix) (1993)
MF DOOM - Dead Bent (LP version) (1999)
UGK - Pocket Full Of Stones (Port Arthur Mix) (1993)
Twista & Legit Ballaz - Tattoo (Remix) (2002)
B.D.P - Remix for "P" Is Free (1987)
Egyptian Lover - Kinky Nation (Kingdom Kum 808 Mix) (2016)
Ultramagnetic MC's - Poppa Large (East Coast Mix) (1991)
Luniz ft. Dru Down etc - I Got 5 On It (Bay Ballas Remix) (1995)
LL Cool J - Jingling Baby (Remixed But Still Jingling) (1990)
OutKast ft. Slick Rick - Da Art Of Storytellin' (Remix) (1998)
AZ ft. Jermaine Dupri - Rock Me (Hey AZ So So Def Remix) (1998)
The Firm ft. Half-A-Mill - Firm Biz (World's Famous Remix) (1997)
HD Of Bearfaced - 40 Glock USA (Remix) (2012)
Craig Mack ft. LL Cool J etc - Flava In Ya Ear (Remix) (1994)
Notorious B.I.G - One More Chance/Stay With Me (1995)
Lil' Kim ft. Lil ' Cease - Crush On You (Remix) (1996)
Bad Boy & Lil' Kim - It's All About the Benjamins (1997)
G-Dep ft. Faith Evans - Everyday (Remix) (2001)
Grand Puba - Issues (Pete Rock Remix) (2002)
Positive K ft. King Of Chill - Step Up Front (3 Heineken Technique) (1988)
Juvenile ft. Wacko & Skip - Nolia Clap (Remix) (2004)
C-Nile ft. Juvenile & Skip - U Know Me (Remix) (2004)
Special Ed - Freaky Flow (DJ Premier Remix) (1996)
M.O.P - Handle Ur Bizness (DJ Premier Remix) (1998)
Mike Jones ft. Slim Thug & Paul Wall - Still Tippin' (2004)
Black Moon - I Got Cha Opin (Beatminerz Remix) (1994)
Mac Dre - Get Stupid (Remix) (2004)
Andre Nickatina & Mac Dre - Cadillac Girl (Remix) (2008)
Lord Finesse ft. Big L - Yes You May (Remix) (1992)
Showbiz & AG - Next Level (DJ Premier Remix) (1995)
Foxx ft. Lil' Boosie & Webbie - Wipe Me Down (Remix) (2007)
Mouse On Tha Track ft. Trill Fam - Turn The Beat Up (2010)
Public Enemy - Shut 'Em Down (Pete Rock Remix) (1991)
Fam-Lay ft. Lil' Flip & Kelis - Rock N' Roll (Remix) (2003)
Mobb Deep ft. Lil' Kim - Quiet Storm (Remix) (1999)
Big K.R.I.T ft. Killa Kyleon & Curren$y - Moon & Stars (Remix) (2010)
ATCQ ft. Kid Hood & LONS - Scenario (Remix) (1992)
Busta Rhymes ft. ODB - Woo-Hah!! Got You All In Check (Remix) (1996)
Jacka ft. Cormega & Rydah J. Clyde - Barney (More Crime Remix) (2005)
Jim Jones ft. A-Mafia - The 'Jects (Remix) (2003)
Max B - Blow Me A Dub (Remix) (2009)
Organized Konfusion ft. Large Professor - Stress (Remix) (1994)
Lil' Chris ft. Tiffini - Bad Lil' Chick (Remix) (2015)
Kool G. Rap & DJ Polo - On The Run (Al Capone Remix) (1993)
Intelligent Hoodlum - Grand Groove (Bonus Mix) (1993)
WNC Whop Bezzy ft. Boosie - U Know I Ain't Scared (Remix) (2016)
Ras Kass - Soul On Ice (Diamond D Remix) (1996)

Planned on turning this one into a YouTube playlist meself until I remembered that the Tattoo remix can only be found on Vimeo. F*ck Atlantic Records for having it removed from the 'Tube, and f*ck them again for only having the clean edit on all digi-stores/streaming services.

On West McNichols born and raised, Lane & Fair Block is where I spent most of my days

Allstar Lee - Fresh Prince Of Brick Mile
(From Fresh Prince Of Brick Mile single; 2017)


Via Tha Barber. File this under ‘song concepts you wish Peedi Crakk had flipped and turned upside down.’ Nonetheless, even that snarky bastard Geoffrey the butler couldn't fault the execution from everyone involved in this one.

What's up with Michigan rappers and the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air then? Remember when Willie The Kid made a song outta Willie The Smith tinkling his wine glass?

R.I.P to Chester Bennington

Loved Maximo Park, me, m8.

But, seriously, Breaking The Habit was a legit jam. It's not a coincidence that the only good Linkin Park song was the one which Mike Shinoda didn't rap on.

Smokin' like runnin' hot water, better yet like runnin' hot lava

Lil' Wayne - Dinnertime
(From Tha Carter 3 sessions; 2008/2017)


T-Pain & Lil' Wayne - Listen To Me
(From T-Wayne sessions; 2009/2017)


Let's talk about how unreleased Wayne songs from 2008/2009 are some of the hottest shit of 2017.

Juan For All, Aux For One

Aux 88 - Electrotechno
(From Electrotechno EP; 1996)


On one hand, it could be argued that Aux 88 were sorta like a Jurassic 5 of Motor City Electro: retro-fetishists plundering a sound that had long since passed into history for their whole M.O. On the other hand, Detroit Electro was a sound which withered and died far too quickly in the '80s, leaving relatively few records for the headz who wanted to transform their Ford Fiestas into Cosmic Cars. Thus, the Aux lads' music felt very necessary when ya host first heard songs like Electrotechno, I Need To Freak and the Take Control remix of Electronic Warfare during their live set at Manchester's Bugged Out club night during the summer of 1996. They performed for a full hour in their trademark Michelin Man bubblegooses on a molten-hot night, and you've gotta respect any group who'll sweat out half their body weight just to maintain their look onstage.

Ironically, Aux 88 ended up being a decade too futuristic for their own good: they came to the UK during Gazza's gymnastics of Euro 1996 when they'd have been far better suited to Peter Crouch's robot-dancing of the 2006 world cup.

Cat Tone part 2

"Bitch, I'm Fat Tone Jr./Stack A Dollar Jr. AKA Cat Tone!"

Yung Cat - OG Stack A Dollar
(From t'internet; 2017)


AKA a near-faithful remake of Fat Tone's OG Stack A Dollar. Prefer this to the O.G song meself because Yung Cat's twitchy goofiness is better suited to the spirit of the track than Fat Tone's hard-nosed champagne foulness.

Previously: Cat Tone.

Why couldn't God have taken the annoying AZN kid from Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom instead of Fresh Kid Ice?

R.I.P to the AZN breh from 2 Live Crew, may a gazillion Lucy Liu lookalikes "nibble on (your) dick like a rat does cheese" for the rest of eternity in Chinaman Heaven. Remember Ice for being the first AZN rapper and the first rapper period to pose with his hand on his nuts for an album cover:

(No shotz @ Jonathan Ke Quan - loved your work in The Goonies, bruv.)

Generic list post: the best of Husalah

Most rap journalists ain't nothin' but models for pigeons on t-shirts, so fair play to David Drake for interviewing Husalah on Noisey. You wack like World Cups if you're not down with Golasoaso, so consider this to the soundtrack to Hus' kicking limitless wisdom to Drake about slaps and science:

Ride 'Til We Die [ft. C-Bo, Mob Figaz & 151] (1998)
Tailor Made [ft. Mob Figaz] (1999)
Die Young [ft. The Jacka & Too $hort] (2001)
Hus G. Rap [ft. Kool G. Rap] (2002)
Hustlin' Ass (2002)
Pigeon On T-Shirt [ft. The Jacka] (2005)
Since '88 (2005)
Hus Hudson Life (2005)
Blind World [ft. The Jacka] (2005)
Sleep With Da Fishes (Boom Clack) (2006)
Murder On My Mind (2006)
Cuttin' It Up [ft. B-Luv] (2006)
Through The Night (2006)
B.I.T.C.H [ft. Dru Down] (2006)
Frozen Heart (2006)
Shock The Place [ft. The Jacka] (2006)
Live Life Illegal (2006)
N*ggas Out There Mine [ft. The Jacka] (2006)
Talk It Out (2007)
Fighting The Feds (2007)
Yea Baby (2007)
Stupid Dumb (2007)
Gear (2007)
That Go [ft. B-Luv] (2008)
On The Streets (2009)
Lord You Know (2009)
Lightweight Jammin' [ft. E-40 & Clyde Carson] (2010)
You Neva Know (2010)
Loyal To The Mob [ft. Mob Figaz] (2011)
Da Mob (2011)
See The Dark (2015)
PS - never forget that this happened:



Somehow the rap game reminds me of the craic game!

Martorial elegance 3:16

Westwood is 59, Post Malone is 21. **Paul Joseph Watson voice** - let that sink in!

A$AP Folky using Stone Cold Steve Austin's entrance theme as his walk-on music at the Wireless festival has gotta be a top 3 most laughable thing he's ever done. That said, his #LifestyleSynergy game is strong on this one since he has form for wearing them Stonewashed Steve Austin Daisy Dukes.

"It's me, Austin! It was me all along, Austin!"