Wednesday, 16 January 2019

Born To Audiomack: 2010's Golden Oldies (Re-Up)

Remember my playlist of legit jams from decades past which were officially unreleased until they finally saw the proper light of day during the 2010's? Shit's just been updated with an funky little 1988 Bizzie Boyz song which flew under my radar when it dropped in 2011 (The Bizzie Boyz being Ski Beatz's first Rap group from North Carolina, mainly known for Droppin' It which appeared on Ego Trip's The Big Playback compilation.) Shout out to BudBundy1978 and DaBaby, North Carolina is in this bitch.

Tracks & Deets:
The Bizzie Boyz - Brainstorm (1988/2011)
Lord Finesse - Inconsiderate Females (1989/2012)
Spice 1 - Killa Days (1992/2014)
Camp Lo - Camp Lo (Bust Ya Down) (1995/2016)
G. Dep - Blak N*gga (1996/2016)
Mac Dre - Pawns In The Game (1997/2014)
Juvenile ft. Big Tymers - Cash Money Gorilla (1998/2017)
Sean Price - I Shot Tha (2005/2014)
Max B - Take A Flick (2007/2013)
The Jacka ft. Dru Down - For Real (2009/2015)
MF DOOM & Madlib - Avalanche (2009/2016)
T-Pain & Lil' Wayne - Listen To Me (2009/2017)



Cheers to BigSleep for Zippyshare hook up.

Sunday, 13 January 2019

Generic list post: 2009 was 10 years ago!


The finale of this cheap nostalgia-fest. 30 Legit Jams™ from the year of the Gucci Mane blog post comment section wars. Bit of an anticlimax after the 1989 and 1999 lists, but a not half bad if you're willing to accept that 80% of everything good in 2009 was now on the internet or from some obscure independent album.

DOOM - Gazzillion Ear
Lil B - Like A Martian
DJ Quik & Kurupt - 9x's Outta 10
Max B - Where Do I Go?
French Montana & Max B - Stake Sause
Curren$y - Scared Of Monsters
Gucci Mane - Lemonade
Waka Flocka Flame - Hard In The Paint
ELZhi - Deep
The Jacka ft. Andre Nickatina - Glamorous Lifestyle
Rich Boy - Drop
Lil' Boosie - Mind Of A Maniac
D-Lo - No Hoe
AZ ft. DJ Greg Mack - Live Your Life
YG - She A Model
Cali Swag District - Teach Me How To Dougie
Raekwon & Ghostface Killah ft. Method Man - New Wu
Young Dro - Clean Wit' It
Eddi Projex - On Sight
Fast Life Yungstaz - Prada Walkin'
Tha Dogg Pound ft. Turf Talk - Y'All Know What I'm Doing
UGK - Da Game Been Good To Me
Jay Electronica - Exhibit C
Treal Lee & Prince Rick ft. Wideframe - Mr. Hit Dat Hoe
Nicki Minaj - Itty Bitty Piggy
Grand Puba ft. Q-Tip - Good To Go
Jackie Chain - Diamonds & Cadillacs
G-Side & G-Mane - No One Does It Betta
A-Wax & Gonzoe ft. C-Murder - Natural Disasterz
Witchdoctor - Rich & Poor

Honourable mention of sorts goes to T-Pain & Lil' Wayne's Listen To Me: supposed to drop in 2009 but didn't see the light of day until 2017. G.O.A.T use of the Oompa Loompa song or wot?

Friday, 11 January 2019

Generic list post: 1999 was 20 years ago!


You knew this was comin' after the recent favourite Rap songs of 1989 list, right? 30 Legit Jams™ from the year when da machinez didn't all implode at the stroke of midnight on december 31st.

MF DOOM ft. DJ Cucumber Slice - Rhymes Like Dimes
UGK - Wood Wheel
Black Rob - Whoa
Mystikal & OutKast - Neck Uv Da Woods
Ghostface Killah ft Raekwon - Apollo Kids
Method Man & Redman - Y.O.U
Ol' Dirty Bastard ft. Kelis - Got Your Money
Juvenile - U Understand
Lil' Wayne ft. Juvenile & B.G. - Tha Block Is Hot
Gang Starr - Full Clip
Screwball - F.A.Y.B.A.N
Young Bleed - I Couldn't C' It
Lay-Lo - Take It Like A Gee
Pharoahe Monch - Simon Says
Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg, Kurupt & Nate Dogg - The Next Episode
Eminem ft. Dr. Dre - Guilty Conscience
Akinyele - Messin' With My Cru
Q-Tip - Let's Ride
Mista Madd ft. Slim Thug & Yungstar - Down South
Dead Prez - Hip Hop
Trina - Da Baddest Bitch
The Beatnuts ft. Willie Stubbz & Swinger - Muchachacha
Missin' Linx - What It Is
Project Pat ft. Gangsta Boo - Ballers
Craig Mack - Please Listen To My Demo
Harlem World - Cali Chronic
Slick Rick - I Own America (Part 1)
Will Smith & DJ Jazzy Jeff ft. Biz Markie & Slick Rick - So Fresh
Nelly - County Grammar (Hot Shit)
Fatman Scoop & Crooklyn Clan - Be Faithful

There's at least 4 songs here which have been rinsed to near-ruination by bait DJs, but they're still such 5 star general choonz that I can't bring meself to snub 'em: Simon Says, The Next Episode, Hip Hop, and Be Faithful. Pains me somewhat to snub Mobb Deep, Mac Dre, B.G., 8Ball & MJG, and Nas but none of 'em released a song in 1999 that I like as much as anything in this list.

'99 is also notable for being the year when the absolute worst Rap song of all time dropped. What's more horrific: the sight of 2 birds drinking scat in 2 Girls, 1 Cup, or the sound of Mos Def doing his dibba-dibba-dinosaur scat-singing on Umi Says? (FYI, I never watched 2 Girls, 1 Cup meself. I did, however, watch the Bun B reaction video.)

Wednesday, 9 January 2019

The Low End Query

Turns out Queen Key's Ha wasn't the final frontier of Chicago sub-bass, that'd be her new single Ratchett. Alas, that isn't a compliment this time around because the low-end on Ratchett sounds like it was mixed & mastered by the ghost of Helen Keller. True story: if you slap Ratchett through a proper pair of speakers you'll suffer the same fate as Lost Boy Dwayne.


Who'd a thunk there'd be such a thing as too much bass?

Tuesday, 8 January 2019

Treal Lee T.V


It's 2019, do you know what that mean? It's now a decade since the YouTube video of Treal Lee & Prince Rick dancing to Get Off Me Now with Mr. Hit Dat Hoe in their Dallas neighbourhood was uploaded. Word around town, this video is so HIP HOP that it cured Kool Herc's kidney stones - well, that's what Herc told his sister after all the donations from the PayPal account she set up mysteriously disappeared and his kidney stones miraculously cleared up overnight. Not tryna suggest that Kool Herc is a dishonest motherfucker, but when he played Liverpool back in 2000 he pretended to be doing the beat-juggling on Fusion Beats Vol. 2 himself.

Treal Lee & Prince Rick ft. Wideframe - Mr. Hit Dat Hoe
(From YouTube; 2009)



Anyhoo, it's a bit unfair that Treal Lee & Prince Rick are only remembered for Throwed Off (Fuck Everybody) innit? Here at The Martorialist we've gotta lorra lorra love for their ode to Mr. Hit That Hoe, Shoes Up, and Transform. Treal Lee & Prince Rick actually had a nice little run of songs between 2009 - 2012, but it's probably not a coincidence that they fell off after they switched from Levi's to True Religion - you can't be Dallas cowboys if you've got some homme Eurotrash jeans hanging off your arses, lads.

Sunday, 6 January 2019

Making Moves With Troup

Always thought the grainy black & white Fresh Records press releases were the only photographic evidence of late '80's Craig Mack in his O.G Rap incarnation as MC EZ, so colour me surprised to find some multi-shade flava for ya eye. Yung Mack wearing what look like Troop high-tops circa the MC EZ & Troup era:


Bonus beats: Mack's Please Listen To My Demo remake has so much more pathos than the EPMD O.G. Erick & Parrish kept it philosophical like the Greek man Plato, but Mack made it spiritual/educational like the German word Bildungsroman.

Craig Mack - Please Listen To My Demo
(From The Wooden Horse 12" single; 1999/The Mack World Sessions album; 2017)


Friday, 4 January 2019

I Got That Work Husband

"And her lil' juvenile 'll set it off behind her
And her sugar daddy buy her nothin' but designer
But her main n*gga, he the real shiner
He the Birdman, he a real Big Tymer"


Eat Em & Spitta - Side N*gga
(From Industreets The Mixtape; 2018)



Nowt firm handshake with this one, more of a behind-your-back anthem by the Baton Rouge rapper who looks like young Tragedy & the Baton Rouge rapper who isn't Curren$y. Not so much Creepin' On Ah Come Up as Creepin' On Ahnother Man's Cum Up.

Wednesday, 2 January 2019

Generic list post: 1989 was 30 years ago!


1989: the number, another summer, the sound of Funky Drummer & other James Brown breaks becoming less prevalent. 30 Legit Jams™ from the year of ya host's personal favorite James Bond movie.

Public Enemy - Fight The Power
LL Cool J - Big Ole Butt
3rd Bass - Monte Hall
Mac Dre - Young Black Brotha
Ultimate Force - I'm Not Playing
EPMD - Get The Bozack
Stezo - Girl Trouble
Nice & Smooth - Early To Rise
Ice-T - Lethal Weapon
Freddie Foxxx - The Master
Tuff Crew - Behold The Detonator
Beastie Boys - What Comes Around
Kool G. Rap & D.J Polo - Road To The Riches
Big Daddy Kane - Warm It Up Kane
Grandmaster Melle Mel - Free Style
Geto Boys - Gangster Of Love
Ultramagnetic MC's ft. Tim Dog - A Chorus Line
MC Lyte - Cha Cha Cha
Brand Nubian - Brand Nubian
N.W.A - A Bitch Iz A Bitch
The D.O.C - Portrait Of A Master Piece
De La Soul ft. Native Tongues - Buddy
Uptown - Dope On Plastic
Digital Underground - Humpty Dance
Special Ed - I Got It Made
The 45 King - The 900 Number
Lakim Shabazz - Your Arm's Too Short To Box With God
YZ - In Control Of Things
Tone Loc - Wild Thing
Schoolly D - Gangster Boogie

Previously: 1988 was 30 years ago!

Monday, 31 December 2018

Generic list post: December 2018


Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Luka Modrić won the Ballon d'Or and then turned up in Neighbours.

Grip Plyaz - Big Ballin' (2008)
Trel Itz A Hit - Cuffin' Flippas (instrumental) (2018)
BlocBoy JB - Sticcs (2018)
The Egyptian Lover - 5¢ Camel Ride (2018)
Delegation - Oh Honey (1977)

Other notables: Atlanta was by far the best of the 3 new songs on 70th Street Carlos' 777 album thingy; DaBoii's Back On My Shit would make a good B-side to Onna Gang; J. Stalin is now the Vice-era Gavin McInnes of Rap; LOL @ Fat Tone's daughter ripping Yung Cat; I was gonna peep that new The-Dream triple album people are saying is a return to form until I saw a song called Super Soaker and just couldn't bring myself to press play.

Related: The obligatory best Rap songs of 2018 post.

Friday, 28 December 2018

Styles By The 'Gram Part 3

Forgive them, Father, for they have Peter Panned on your turf:


On one hand, this sounds like it might be Baton Rouge's first Legit Jam™ of 2019.

On the other hand, no song can possibly live up to this teaser video.

Tuesday, 25 December 2018

Annual Christmas Blowie

Yea aiight, bitch, don't forget the brussel sprouts!


Think you're barking up the wrong Xmas tree there, Blueface. 'Tis the season of the festive siccness, and today's the day for a repost of Kurtis Blow's Top Of The Tops performance of Christmas Rappin'. This clip comes from a January 1980 episode of TOTP which proves that, much like a puppy, a Legit Jam™ is for all year round not just for Christmas.


Excuse me, Mr. Blow... one question, please:


Merry Christmas from ya host Fiddy Pudding.

Sunday, 23 December 2018

Lodi Dodi & Diana™

The Rich Blue song I'm waitin' for now has an even better teaser video that's a genuine world's are colliding moment. In Westminster one drinks tea or gin, brah.


Top 5 Stephen Yaxley-Lennon & McCartney Beatles songs?

Lucy In The Sky With Diana™
Day UKIPper
(Send 'Em) Back To The U.S.S.R
Magical Mystery Tour Of Afghanistan By Our Brave Lads In The Forces
EDLeanor Rigby (ft. guest drums by Lee Rigby)

Friday, 21 December 2018

A Muppet Christmas Carlos

"Ain't no beefin', I got bread let's make a sandwich
We got gon' slang them bitches 'til the last man standin'"


70th Street Carlos ft. WNC Ram Bam - Atlanta
(From 777 album; 2018)



Twist that wig like Kermit's crew, it's my favourite of the new songs on 777. But what's the deal with Ding Dong being on the album when it was already on last year's Bang 2 EP? Shoulda given the best Carlos loosie of 2017 a second wind instead:

"Leave a n*gga with holes in his body like a hamper
Bitch, I be in that wood like I'm a camper"


70th Street Carlos - Bag It Up
(From t'internet; 2017)



The major criticism of 777 is that Alamo Records fucked up and put the quiet-arse unmastered version of Do That on there. Mr Bassman must have been on vacation that day, but never fear because you can find the proper version that's thick like Mississippi mud on my Carlos loosies playlist.

Wednesday, 19 December 2018

The Poor Elementz: A.C The Program Director

A new series dedicated to various 4 elementz survivalists polluting t'internet who make Dart Adams seem like one of the DGB guys. For doz who've slept, allow me to introduce A.C The Program Director.


Who dat: Wee Man from Jackass-looking L.A troglodyte who KRS One kicked out of the Temple Of Hip Hop for being too insane. A.C suffered some sort of severe head injury in the early 90s which somewhat explains his retardation.

Greatest quotes: "When 2Pac died I said to the homies ‘let's go get Ice Cube!!’"

Key beefs: KRS One; Ice Cube; people with "earbola"; Stones Throw Records; Robbie Unkut; anyone who doesn't subscribe to his patented Hip Hop Philosophy.

Notable opinionz: insisting race doesn't exist; declaring that Dooley O is this century's best rapper; claiming a club night is "not a real hip hop jam" if the DJ plays songs people already know; opining that producers aren't real unless they can indulge in an impromptu beatbox battle.

Claims to fame: calling up Jay-Z on The Wake Up Show and telling him he needs to "try harder"; making those REAL HIP HOP IS NOT ON THE RADIO t-shirts DJ Premier wears; bragging that he sleeps on top of his record crates; spamming the Unkut.com comment section for years.

Other eccentricities: thinks everyone should drive solar power cars; possible owner of the world's largest collection of 3/4 length cargo shorts.

Friday, 14 December 2018

Cuffin' Season

Trel Itz A Hit - Cuffin' Flippas (instrumental)
(From Trel Itz A Hit's archives; 2016/the internet; 2018)



Bet you ain't never heard the Cuffin' Flippas beat in its full glory before. Me either, tbf.

The Bout It Bout It of Beserker-Bounce™ or wot? Bitch, we in that swamp water like Will Wheaton. Shout out to Whop Bezzy's "I got cheese in my pocket like between my toes" line, but the first song WNC ever recorded with Trel Itz A Hit back in early 2016 knocks harder as an instrumental dunnit?

Added this to my best rap songs of 2018 post. Two instrumental jams in my year-end list like it's 1984.

Tuesday, 11 December 2018

The obligatory best Rap songs of 2018 post

2018: the year MC Serch claimed he almost had Necro & Ill Bill shoot MC Hammer on the set of the final episode of YO! MTV Raps. YOUR FUTURE IS MORBIDITY for real?

All I wanted was an anthem, just one world-conquering anthem in the vein of Flex (Ooh, Ooh, Ooh) and 2018 wouldn't give it me. Much like 2009, 2018 turned out to be one of those years where most of the good Rap happened off-centre or in the margins. That's my diplomatic way of saying ZZZZZ @ this year's BIG hits by Drake, Post Malone, Juice WRLD, Lil' Pump, 6ix9once, Travis Scott, Migos, XXXtentacion, and Lil' Baby & Gunna. Please believe that doesn't mean I've spent 2018 listening to Joe Budden gossip podcast Rap or Faux Marciano limited vinylz Rap, though, because both lanes are equally as ZZZZZ to me as the aforementioned BIG hits.

In no particular order of preference and with the usual one song per artist rule, all I love iz these:

Husalah - Bad Young Thang
70th Street Carlos - Sprite
Trel Itz A Hit - Cuffin' Flippas (instrumental)
Valee ft. Jeremih - Womp Womp
DaBoii of SOB X RBE - Onna Gang
Kendrick Lamar & SOB X RBE - Paramedic!
Rico Nasty - Smack A Bitch
BlocBoy JB - No Chorus Part 11
DJ Premier ft. Casanova - Wut U Said???
P-Lo - Same Squad
Open Mike Eagle - Single Ghosts
Queen Key ft. Dreezy - Ha
Sada Baby & FMB DZ - Planet Of The Apes
Lil' Wayne ft. 2 Chainz - Dedicate
Roc Marciano - 67 Lobby
Cash Kidd - Zorbas (solo version)
E-40 & B-Legit ft. Stresmatic - Meet The Dealers
Rich Blue - Hands Hands
Maine Musik - Soulja Slim Flow 2
Doja Cat - Go To Town
OMB Peezy - Venting Session
Nef The Pharaoh & 03 Greedo ft. ALLBLACK - Ball Out
WNC Ram Bam - G Warfare
Lil' Peep - Cry Alone
Dru Down ft. Mistah F.A.B - Streets Is Cold
City Girls - Period (We Live)
Eat Em & Spitta - FaceCard
Sheck Wes - Chippi Chippi
Homeboy Sandman & Edan - Rock & Roll Indian Dance
Mozzy - Who I Am
Tay-K - After You (O.G version)
Jay Lewis ft. Gorilla Mode Deez & Mista Cain - I Hope
Rich The Factor - Do It Gooba
Mouse On Tha Track - Let Me In (Martorialist edit)
Level ft. Boosie BadAzz & Mouse On Tha Track - #DFWT (Remix)
FBG Duck - Slide
1TakeQuan - Grub Hub
Jean Grae & Quelle Chris - My Contribution To This Scam
The Egyptian Lover - 5¢ Camel Ride

You can find a slightly condensed streamable version of this list HERE. Also, you can find a streamable playlist of my favourite 70th Street Carlos loosies from late 2017/2018 HERE.

Barely paid attention to new non-Rap in 2018 so it ain't worth me doing a separate post of my favourite jams. The highlight of Other Music™ in 2018 was obviously the G.O.A.T Guns 'N Roses song finally getting blessed with a video, but there were also a handful of other non-Rap songs that I love like frumpy music critics love sweaters with stretched neckholes:

Donae'o - Chalice (No Canadian Rappers Please edit)
Tamia - Leave It Smokin'
Mr. Fingers - Full Moon
Kreayshawn - Not My Job (Punk cover)
Juiceboxxx - Ripping Up My Soul

Bonus beats: the 2018 Late Pass post.

Sunday, 9 December 2018

Egyptian Lover has a new album out!


Sod a camel, Cleopatra coulda shook an ass or charmed a snake to this one:

The Egyptian Lover - 5¢ Camel Ride
(From 1985 album; 2018)



My face when I realised this was just an interlude and not a full song, though:


Gonna need an extended Bonus Beats mix ASAP. T'Lover had the baddest Bonus Beats and that's bad meaning good.

Saturday, 8 December 2018

Eat Em, Beat Em

Eat Em & Spitta - FaceCard
(From InduSTREETS The Mixtape; 2018)



Gotta love a video featuring a cardboard cut-out of the Rapper's mixtape cover. Nowt fancy here, just a firm handshake-core anthem by the Baton Rouge rapper who looks like young Tragedy & the Baton Rouge rapper who isn't Curren$y.

Bonus beats: Trophy was such a (space) jam. Still is, in fact.

Eat Em - Trophy
(From t'internet; 2016)


Thursday, 6 December 2018

"Good job 2Pac gaffled that shit, eh?"

.... That was my main thought when I heard the mythical O.G Dr. Dre solo version of California Love which someone finally leaked the other day. Thank you based Suge or wot?

Dr. Dre - California Love (O.G version)
(From A New World Odor: Papa's got a Brand New Funk album sessions; 1995)



Word around town, Suge let Dre leave to form Aftermath so Death Row wouldn't have to suffer the indignity of releasing an album called New World Odor.

Monday, 3 December 2018

Monty Panesar's Life of Brain

Updated my Grip Plyaz playlist with a song I'd previously slept on. Shit's called Big Ballin', it comes from his 2008 album Grip Hop album, and it's a saucy sitar joint on some Bud Bud Ding Dong type isht. Pardon the #problematicness, but that's the sort of pun you might have heard in a Grip Plyaz song innit?

"I round you up like some cattle when I wrangle
And put my nuts up in your mouth so they can dangle "

Sunday, 2 December 2018

Rock 'em out the 'boxxx

"I know these guys heard of Rock & Roll, but did you guys ever hear of Rock & Cock?"


On one hand, all the "I'm not a Rapper, I'm a Rock star!" Rappers in their crappy Metallica t-shirts deserve to be mocked and catapulted into moshpits at Brazilian Grindcore shows. On the other hand, all the best Rock songs of 2018 #actually do belong to Rappers: Rico Nasty's Smack A Bitch, Kreayshawn's Not My Job, Lil' Peep's Cry Alone, and this recent single by former Beastie baby-Boy Juiceboxxx.

"How do you grow up... when you still love Rock & Roll?
And how do you grow up... when you feel so outta control?
Just gimme a sign, oh oh, you gotta gimme a sign!"


Juiceboxxx - Ripping Up My Soul
(From Never Surrender Forever EP; 2018)


Friday, 30 November 2018

Generic list post: November 2018


Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month of Small Man, Big Moo.

Twista - NBA Live 2004 (2004)
Sheck Wes - Chippi Chippi (2018)
Homeboy Sandman & Edan - The Gut (2018)
Mouse On Tha Track - Let Me In (Martorialist edit) (2018)
70th Street Carlos - Wake Me Up (2018)
Lil' Peep - Cry Alone (2018)

Other notables: Mutumbo by 10k Caash & Rico Nasty is a bit of a slap tre-rando; favourite thing about RobLo's Dat Tapes compilation is that it contains an early Husalah song I've been tryna find for a while; that new BlocBoy JB track Licks where he says "they put a charge on my jewellery for aggravated blinding" is cool; I'm On My Way is the only song on Boosie Blues Cafe where he really pulls off the album's Son (Lava) House concept, imho.

(Chippi Chippi finally started making sense to me when I realised it evokes the same sort of dystopian rotten apple vibe as Group Home & Alchemist's Stupid MF's. Who'd have expected that from Desiigner 2.0?)

Wednesday, 28 November 2018

Reasons why I love YouTube: get at me, Dogg

Two reasons why it was worthwhile sitting through one of the new VladTV interviews with B.G. Knocc Out & Dresta: Vlad acting like the world's foremost expert on the Death Row vs. Ruthless beef and then being totally unfamiliar with D.P.G Killa, and this video popping up in my YouTube recommendations afterwards:

"B.G. Knocc Out & Dresta havin' a double-lead party for they double-lead album.
It just went double-lead, it just went 3 copies...
... and they bought all 3 of 'em, busta ass n*ggas!"



Not a lotta people know this, but B.G. Knocc Out & Dresta dropped the best anti-suicide song since Big Fun.

Sunday, 25 November 2018

Just a friendly game of basketball

Twista - NBA Live 2004
(From NBA Live 2004 soundtrack; 2004)



You know Twista & Traxster did their thing on this one when you can damn near rap the song from front-to-back and you've choreographed your own dance routine to the beat's spasmodic riddim but you've never played NBA Live 2004 in your life and you're an English bloke who couldn't give a Roland Rat's arse about basketball.

Football, darts, snooker. That's it, lads.

Tuesday, 20 November 2018

They used to do it out in the park(ing lot)

Ghostridin' the whip aint dead, it just moved to Baton Rouge.


You know what else ain't dead? Famous Amos & DJ iPod's I Bet U Won't challenge.


**Cam'Ron voice** (no Uncle Murda) Hopped out the casket, bastard, reincarnated!