Friday, 28 April 2017

Where was you at when we was gettin' on COPS?

"Icy neck fulla rocks, this bitch I wear'll make the Titanic stop"

Nef The Pharaoh ft. Slimmy B - Bling Blaow
(From The Chang Project compilation; 2017)

More like Bling Blap amirite? Nef The Pharaoh's recent output has hit like Aaron Ramsey at the proverbial barn door, but this shit hits like bass in Husalah's car. Unlike Everything Big, this one is a Nef track which does live up to its Instagram preview snippet:

Brief thoughts on The Chang Project then: where's the slap with Mannie Fresh at? Rappers who tease previews of songs on Instagram and then take dumb long to drop them need to start getting fined. $25 per week sounds like a good starting price for late fee offenders.

Thursday, 27 April 2017

Fixxed up

"Grab that cheek with 1 hand, use the other for glasses
It's a rookie-dookie party in here, lots of new asses
Who gon' shake it the fastest? Who push slow like molasses?
I'm just tryna thow some Georges, I ain't lookin' for passes
I turn this dope into ashes, I"m like German, I'm fascist
That means I like to f*ck they faces, eat on titties that's flappy"

DJ Quik & Problem - Move Something
(From Rosecrans album; 2017)

DJ Quik's got a problem fixxer and his name is, um, Problem. Why? Because a decade on from 2007, Move Something is the song Can U Werk Wit Dat shoulda been. If Kap G's recent Icha Gicha track was some half-arsed booty-chatter, then Move Something here is a prime sirloin rumpshaker.

The unlikely highlight of the new tracks on this expanded version of Rosecrans or wot?

Wednesday, 26 April 2017

LudaThizz: when Ludacris met Mac Dre

Ludacris - Get Back
(From The Red Light District album; 2004)

Tonight's winning pub quiz question: which rapper inspired the over-familiar local rap CEO Ludacris finds lurking in the men's toilet in Get Back's video? Answer: Mac Dre, with the video being based on an actual IRL chance encounter between the 2 rappers at some point during 2004.

Allegedly, the story unfurls summat like this: Ludacris is in Oakland for a show and is taking a slash in the venue's backstage bathroom when a pilled-up Mac Dre approaches him outlining a plan for Playaz Circle to release an album on Thizz Entertainment, and an invitation for Luda to come to his studio to record a song together. Ludacris politely declines both offers, but is so bemused by Mac Dre's demeanour he decides to recreate an elaborated version of events in his next single's video, in which the director Spike Jonze hires Fatlip from The Pharcyde to impersonate Dre. Mac Dre doesn't even get an opportunity to give Ludacris the Little Bruce treatment as payback because Def Jam drops the Get Back video a mere 8 days after Dre's death in november 2004. To this very day, Mac Dre's close friends like PSD are still furious with Ludacris (though PSD had previous issues), and Luda can count himself very lucky he never found himself alone in a bathroom with Mac Minister (no George Michael.)

Who emerges from this unfortunate tale with the least dirt on their hands - Ludacris for poking fun an intoxicated Oakland underground legend trying to network with a bonafide star? Def Jam for releasing a video mocking a recently deceased rapper? Fatlip for metaphorically stabbing a fellow west coast rapper in the back? Or Mac Dre for not observing the proper etiquette when tryna discuss business in a public toilet?

Monday, 24 April 2017

Nervous rapper on a $4 Jazz sample

Enter Quelle Chris - age 20-something, and where some men leave a mark of their lives as a record of their fragmentary existence on Earth, this man leaves a blot: a dusty Bandcamp account to document a cheap and undistinguished sojourn amongst Detroit's legions of backpack-rappers. What you're about to hear on Buddies is a strange sort of mortal combat, where a rapper whose career has been given over to fighting unfavourable comparisons finds Me, Myself & I in Friend Or Foe. There was a rumble-jumble, just under 4 minutes it lasted, the mirror said "y'all are, you neurotic bastard!"

"I look in the mirror
Like who is that n*gga?
I'm cool with that n*gga
I'm through with these n*ggas"

Quelle Chris - Buddies
(From Being You Is Great, I Wish I Could Be You More Often LP; 2017)

Exit Quelle Chris - formerly a reflection in a mirror, a fragment of his own ego, a wishful thinker made out of glass, but now made out of flesh, juggling self-doubt and self-confidence like Bobby May, and on his way to join the company of other backpack rappers whose Jansports are filled with eccentricity rather than earnestness. Mr. Quelle Chris, with one foot through the door into Legit Jam™ land and one foot out of the Bandcamp Zone.

(Featured this song on my recent late pass! playlist, but it really does deserve its own post now it has a video. Truly yours ain't heard a backpack tune this quick to whip up a script like Rod Sterling since Madvillain's Avanlache.)

Sunday, 23 April 2017

Long silky hair so he don't care about brims

More proof that Dru Down's closet coulda kept his whole 'hood fly for five years back in the 90s - bitch, we fitted! You gotta acknowledge what he did in Cobra's Sliden video, menswear blogga:

Don't even front like Husalah's Gear wasn't cut from the same cloth as Yukmouth's Stuntastic. The fashions may have changed, but what is "that's the colour of guacamole on ya nacho" if not "cherry Blossom Louis Vuitton on some golf shorts" in different tones & textures for your Arm Leg Leg Arm Head, yaddamean?

Friday, 21 April 2017

Where U At?

Jimmy Wopo - Elm Street 2
(From YouTube; 2017)

Alas, not a Jimmy Wopo part deux of the Walkin' Bomb 2 calibre. Also weirdly analogous to the Nightmare On Elm Street movie franchise in that it's a patchy follow-up to a classic. Somebody shoulda told Wopo that rappers are only supposed to record sequels to songs which were misfires - that way the fans don't end up disappointed and the rapper doesn't look desperate.

Still, at least we now know what happened to the bizzy who Wopo kidnapped at the end of the Elm Street video, because there's far too many rap vids with "To Be Continued..." cliffhangers left unresolved foreverever. It's tragic enough that Slim Dunkin died IRL, let alone that his little lad who was abducted from a parking garage in the Blindside video is now pretend-lost for eternity like the rap video equivalent of Keith Bennett. Holla back, missing young'ns!

Thursday, 20 April 2017

Born to Audiomack: late pass! (2017 edition)

Ol' Martorialist had a new ongoing playlist
E.I like Nelly, (Ooh, Ooh, Ooh)

And on this playlist he had some non-2017 joints he's either discovered or had an epiphany with over the past 4 months
E.I like Nelly, Wu Wuu Wuuu

With a Dru Down here, and a Camp Lo there, here a Eightball & MJG, there a Toon & Ya Boy Big Choo, and everywhere a Quelle Chris

Ol' Martorialist posted the aforemented new ongoing playlist
E.I like Nelly, I never liked OOOUUU

**EDIT** Audiomack switched their whole system up and done f*cked everything up. Click on the playlist to take you to the page and jam that shit.

Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Got the phone in the back of my Levi's

Rich Homie Quan - Heart Cold
(From Back To The Basics album; 2017)

Red tabs on the red carpet, Japanese looms over ya Fruit Of The Looms. Is it a coincidence that Rich Homie Quan's Return To Form™ corresponds with him switching from Robin's to Levi's? #Menswear expert Dr. Dru reckons not. Good as Heart Cold and Replay are, ya host is not entirely sold on the "QUAN'S BACK!" narrative quietly gathering steam on t'internet, mind, because neither of 'em go quite as hard as his one Legit Jam of 2016 (the Martorialist edit, natch!) If not exactly a Return To Form™ then it's definitely a return from the wilderness. Maybe Quan realised Mike Ashley is the Birdman of the Tyne? Maybe YFN Lucci was just keeping Quan's spot warm after all?

**EDIT** After spending some quality time with this album, Word Of Mouth has revealed itself as The Jam. It isn't necessarily the most immediate track, but it's deceptively catchy like Herpes on a Weatherspoons' pint glass. Word around town, rap's most notable trip to the barbers since Mouse On Tha Track's Liberation (The Cut):

Rich Homie Quan - Word Of Mouth
(From Back To The Basics album; 2017)

Saturday, 15 April 2017

Another major L for The Guardian's coverage of rap music (part 234)

After using a picture of 2 lesbians for a Rae Sremmurd article recently, The Guardian have gone back to the essence for their latest rap faux pas. God bless those clueless indie journalist fux who still think Grandmaster Flash was a rapper:

Coming soon in The Guardian: the 30th anniversary of Eric B. & Rakim's Paid In Full, as told by the God M.C Eric B.

Friday, 14 April 2017

Manneus horribilis

My high hopes for Kap G's first official Lil' Skateboard P beat/hook combo track, dashed on the rocks of another disappointing 2017 rap song. If there's one thing the College Park Mexican can do, it's sell his eye-rolling wordplay with chutzpah, so there's no excuse for him coming through with some half-arsed booty chatter on Icha Gicha. G & P's lost remix of J. Balvin's Safari was shelved but this was deemed fit for release???

Kap G ft. Pharrell Williams - Icha Gicha
(From SuperJefe album; 2017)

Sad thing is, this one still sounds better than the rest of Kap's new album of generic Chris Brown collaborations, Chinese Jordan YFN Lucci-isms, and factory-fodder trap production. You don't listen to Kap G full lengths for cohesion, but you do expect at least one Legit Jam™ per project, and this SuperJefe album doesn't have owt worth adding to my best of Vato playlist. Someone get this mang in the studio with some Happy Perez Flamenco guitar beats and don't let him out until he's spittin' zingers like Tim Vine.

Wednesday, 12 April 2017

I don't gotta be in yo' house to f*ck up yo' couch!

R.I.P to Charlie Murphy, I had to regurgitate. Forever the greatest rap song to be inspired by one of Charlie's True Hollywood Stories segments on The Chappelle Show:

"See, I'll be all up in people cars, dumping ashes laughin'
Spitting, wiping snot, fuck using a napkin"

Bailey - F*ck Yo Couch
(From Champ Bailey album; 2006)

Bonus beats: never forget Bailey & J. Valentine's Hyphy remix of I'm Sprung.

Tuesday, 11 April 2017

Late pass!

Teddy ft. Dru Down & Luniz - Are You In The Mood? (LP Version)
(From Are You In The Mood? single; 1996)

Recently discovered by ya host, some 90's Mob & Bullshit via the C-Note Records allstars & the very same Teddy who did the hook on Playa Hata. Shit is a jam but it musta stayed underground with The Fraggles because Noo Trybe never released a Teddy LP. Those guest credits are kinda misleading, though - Dru Down only delivers a quick prelude to Yukmouth's verse, and Numskull doesn't even get 1 bar on it, let alone 5.

*EDIT* Uploaded the MP3 to Audiomack here

Sunday, 9 April 2017

Hammer time!

Alf Garnett sez: "Us 52%ers didn't vote Brexit so them bloody Ghancehall artists from Bongo-Bongo Land could come to our country and chirpse all our crumpet! The fing about these fackin' foreigners is that they ain't fussy when it comes to how's yer father - that Shatta Wale lad will stick his Bobby Moore up Stefflon Don's Battersea and then slip his Julian Dicks into Janine Butcher's east end innit!"

Shatta Wale - London Girls
(From t'internet; 2017)

Ya Host sez: "Song is hot like a tea kettle get! Whether you live in Clapham, Oldham, Wrexham, Strathan or Cloghan, London Girls is a legit Summer Jam™ for the first weekend of 2017 when all us Brits can get our scotch eggs out like yung Fat Frank on the pitch! Can't we all just get along so I can put hickies on her A$$ like Big Sean?"

Thursday, 6 April 2017

Hero vs. Villain

Picture not bloggas own, unfortunately.

Can't believe the CMDegreez guy is steady hoggin' his copy of this tape and refusing to hook up the full MP3s of Cash Money Gorilla and the alternate version of U.T.P. Hombre is not so much Hero Vs. Villain, but Hero & Villain simultaneously.

*Juve voice* What's the use in you teasin' a song snippet if you won't rip it?

Wednesday, 5 April 2017

"Welcome 3 talented young men who have added new and large dimensions to the beat from the street"

Apropos of it being exactly 25 years to the day since Buff Love The Human Beatbox died in 1995 according to ya host's Facebook feed, here's the Fat Boys lip-syncing their way through Jail House Rap on Soul Train in 1984 before Don Cornelius has them perform Human Beat Box live mid-interview. You cannae spell Burr without the Brr:

Never forget it was Dru Down not Mysonne who first remade Jail House Rap. Apparently recorded for the Original Gangstas movie Dx2 made his acting debut in, but shelved because he already had a Fat Boys remake popping that year. Oh well, at least the Original Gangstas soundtrack had a legit slap by Dru's BFFs the Luniz.

Tuesday, 4 April 2017

Louisiana trombones alert!

'Eh up Que Tha Truth, it's been a minute since you caught my ear. Wasn't expecting to hear you in 2017 with 3/4 of the Cross Me line-up over Trel Itz A Hit beserker-bounce, but here we are:

Que Almighty ft. 70th Street Carlos & JMM Larry - Put On That Gang
(From Soundcloud; 2017)

Sunday, 2 April 2017


Anyone else been checking those Goons Of The Industry videos about some of the legendary career criminals lurking behind the scenes in the 90s rap business? These started popping up on YouTube a couple of months ago, and they're basically F.E.D.S Magazine in video form. Essential viewing for all rap gossip-hounds, so sez ya host Dead Perez:

The score used in these videos is akin to the Mastermind theme as composed by Gustav Holst. 1:31 to 2:04 is what it sounds like when planets collide:

Kevin MacLeod - Black Vortex
(From Action Cuts album; 2014)

Friday, 31 March 2017

Finally! (almost)

Once upon a time on the blogspot yo, I damn near begged for a rip of Juvenile's unreleased Cash Money Gorilla track from the 400 Degreez promo tape which was sent out to various journalists in 1998. It was to no avail because 5 years later in 2016 ya host was crossing his fingers that 2017 would be the year someone finally uploads that shit to t'internet. Guess what song Ca$h Money Records historian CM Degreez just posted a snippet of on his Instagram?

All that tiggedy tiggedy tongue-twisting shit does impress me when we've got Juve doing vocal gymnastics over vintage Mannie production like he's the NOLA's answer to Shabba - dem b(l)ow! Really need a full rip of this true holy grail and the other unreleased 400 Degreez promo tape exclusive.

Cheers to Max from XXL for the tip-off and the hat tip linkage.

Thursday, 30 March 2017

Generic list post: March 2017

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when missing-in-action OB O'Brien was found on YouTube tryna make that Mac Lethal money. A baggage handler's gotta earn an honest crust now he's not allowed to do zany Canadian comedy sketches in Drake's videos no more innit?

Eightball & MJG - In The Wind (1997)
OMB Peezy - Loyalty Over Love (Intro) (2017)
Dru Down - My 501's (2017)
Ayo & Teo - Lit Right Now (2017)
Team Toon ft. Ya Boy Big Choo - My Hot Girl (2016)
Haircut One Hundred - Ski Club (1982)
J Hus - Did You See? (2017)

Sunday, 26 March 2017

I was on the roads when Da Brat made Give It 2 You

Warning: irksome 90s nostalgia alert! It's the generic list post I've held off making for as long as possible: 100 best rap songs of the 1990s, imho. Let's do it like they did it on the .tv channel.

Brand Nubian - Step To The Rear (1990)
Too $hort - The Ghetto (1990)
Lord Finesse - Funky Technician (1990)
Ice Cube - Once Upon A Time In The Projects (1990)
Public Enemy - 911 Is A Joke (1990)
Compton's Most Wanted - Duck Sick (1990)
Above The Law - Murder Rap (1990)
Ice-T - New Jack Hustler (1991)
Black Sheep - Try Counting Sheep (1991)
N.W.A - Real N*ggaz Don't Die (1991)
Geto Boys - My Mind's Playing Tricks On Me (1991)
Main Source - Looking At The Front Door (1991)
Cypress Hill - Hand On The Pump (1991)
Ultramagnetic MC's - Poppa Large (East Coast Mix) (1992)
Eric B. & Rakim - Juice (Know The Ledge) (1992)
Big Daddy Kane - Nuff Respect (1992)
Mac Dre - All Damn Day (1992)
Mary J. Blige ft. Grand Puba - What's The 411? (1992)
Positive K - How The *?#! Would You Know (1992)
Redman - Tonight's Da Night (1992)
Onyx - Throw Ya Gunz (1992)
Pretty Tone Capone - Case Dismissed (1992)
Dr. Dre - Let Me Ride (1992)
Eazy-E - Still A N*gga (1993)
KMD - What A N*ggy Know (1993)
Eightball & MJG - Armed Robbery (1993)
Kool G. Rap & DJ Polo - Ill Street Blues (1993)
Akinyele - I Luh Huh (1993)
C-Bo - Realer Than Real (1993)
UGK - Pocket Full Of Stones (Port Arthur Remix) (1993)
De La Soul - Breakadawn (1993)
A Tribe Called Quest - Midnight (1993)
Mac Mall - Sic Wit Tis (1993)
K-Rino - Ultimate Flow (1993)
PSK-13 - Headin' For My Trunk (1993)
Del Tha Funkee Homosapien - Wrong Place (1993)
Lil' Slim - Bounce Slide Ride (1993)
Big L - Devil's Son (1993)
Slick Rick ft. Warren G - Behind Bars (Dum Ditty Dum Mix) (1994)
Master P - Somethin' Funky For The Street (1994)
Gang Starr - Code Of The Streets (1994)
Scarface - G's (1994)
Big Mike ft. Pimp C - Havin' Thangs (1994)
The Beatnuts - Hit Me With That (1994)
DJ Quik - Dollars & Sense (1994)
Snoop Doggy Dogg - Murder Was The Case (Remix) (1994)
Tha Dogg Pound - What Would U Do? (1994)
Lady Of Rage - Afro Puffs (1994)
Nas - The World Is Yours (1994)
Craig Mack ft. Notorious B.I.G etc - Flava In Ya Ear (Remix) (1994)
OutKast - Crumblin' Erb (1994)
Bone Thugz-N-Harmony - Creepin' On Ah Come Up (1994)
Organized Konfusion - Keep It Koming (1994)
AZ - Doe Or Die (1995)
Luniz ft. Michael Marshall - I Got 5 On It (1995)
Raekwon - Incarcerated Scarfaces (1995)
ODB - Shimmy Shimmy Ya (1995)
GZA ft. Method Man - Shadowboxin' (1995)
Mystikal - Here I Go (1995)
Goodie Mobb - Cell Therapy (1995)
LL Cool J ft. LeShaun - Doin' It (1995)
Junior M.A.F.I.A - Get Money (1995)
Mobb Deep ft. Raekwon, Ghostface & Noyd - Right Back At You (1995)
E-40 ft. B-Legit & Mac Shon - Sideways (1995)
Smif-N-Wessun - Still Don't Nuthin' Move But Da Money (1996)
Special Ed - Freaky Flow (DJ Premier Remix) (1996)
2Pac ft. Snoop Doggy Dogg - 2 Of Amerikaz Most Wanted (1996)
Common - The Bitch In Yoo (1996)
Lil' Kim ft. Lil' Cease - Crush On You (Remix) (1996)
Dru Down - Hustlin' Ain't No Thang (1996)
Busta Rhymes - Woo Hah!! (Got You All In Check) (1996)
Ghostface Killah & Raekwon ft. Cappadonna - Daytona 500 (1996)
U.N.L.V - Drag 'Em "N" Tha River (1996)
G-Depp - Head Over Wheels (1996)
M.O.P ft. Kool G. Rap - Stick To Ya Gunz (1996)
Do Or Die ft. Twista & Johnny P - Po Pimp (1996)
Big Noyd ft. Prodigy - Recognize & Realize (1996)
Young Bleed - A Fool (1997)
Juvenile - Solja Rag (1997)
Camp Lo - Krystal Karrington (1997)
Khayree ft. Mac Dre - Back 2 My Mission (1997)
Notorious B.I.G - Kick In The Door (1997)
Puffy ft. Bad Boy - It's All About The Benjamins (1997)
Ma$e - Feel So Good (1997)
Mia X ft. TRU & Mystikal - You Don't Wanna Go 2 War (1997)
Capone-N-Noreaga ft. Tragedy Khadafi - Neva Die Alone (1997)
The Firm - Phone Tap (1997)
Suga Free - I'd Rather Give You My Bitch (1997)
Godfather Don - Piece Of The Action (1997)
Black Attack ft. Al Tariq & Problemz - Verbal Attack (1997)
Soulja Slim - From What I Was Told (1998)
DMX - Crime Story (1998)
Casual - Turkey And Dressing (1998)
Celly Cel ft. UGK - Pop The Trunk (1998)
Noreaga - Superthug (1998)
Cam'Ron ft. Ma$e - Horse & Carriage (1998)
Cool Breeze ft. The Dungeon Family - Watch For The Hook (1998)
MF DOOM ft. DJ Cucumber Slice - Rhymes Like Dimes (1999)
Nelly - Country Grammar (Hot Shit) (1999)
Black Rob - Whoa (1999)

Thursday, 23 March 2017

Slangin' humble pie and St. Ides in the same sentence

"Now I'm just a gangsta
Pimpin' connected n*gga, my stripes'll outrank ya
Aye, me and my 501's, lookin' for an endorsement
In 'em I'll make a fortune
All I ask is Levi to make ya pockets deeper
So my stacks of paper can fit in them and re-up"

Dru Down - My 501's
(From My 501's single; 2017)

It was inevitable My 501's would worm its way into Team Martorialist's affections eventually because this song has hidden charms for those of us who were in the mood for some new late-career Dru Down after Street Knowledge recently paid homage. Sometimes you've just gotta let a slap be a slap, so the trick with this joint is to forget the video where Dru's dressed like he's auditioning to join Jeremy Clarkson's Amazon show and remember how well he wore his 501's back in t'day. Et voilà, you have D Squared's code to menswear masquerading as an ode to Levi's: where sagging should stay above arse-level, and Hoet Laureates & regular blokes alike should aspire to look like outlaws at the O.K Corral rather than ponces on the Paris catwalk.

Wednesday, 22 March 2017

Make Bounce Great Again!

Team Toon ft. Ya Boy Big Choo - My Hot Girl
(From t'internet; 2016)

More 2016 Bounce & Bullshit in the vein of Club Luv. Late pass discovery on ya host's part, but timing is everything because the song's currently very useful as a stop-gap until Big Choo drops his remake of Dolamite's Hustlas.

BTW, uploaded the Dolamite song to Audiomack a few week back then forgot to post it here. Only Sade could provide the spine of a New Orleans club classic that's the missing link between Lil' Slim and Bone Thugz-N-Harmony. If this shit rings any biddells it's probably because Lil B also jacked it back in 2010.

Dolamite - Hustlas
(From 3rd Ward On My Mind EP; 1995)

Sunday, 19 March 2017

He got a hit full of corny words, yet he still can't afford these furs (slight return)

Dome blown within the comforts of your own home that there was once a rap magazine which put A-Wax & Smigg Dirtee on its front cover. An act that's all the more mind-blowing when you do the math and realise that the picture is taken from an internet video which was hosted on the Siccness website.

Turns out it wasn't even the first time A-Wax had appeared on the magazine's cover because there was this proto-XXL Freshmen issue which featured 'Wax, Smigg Dirtee, Mistah F.A.B, Turf Talk and a couple of other fellas on the front:

The closest thing South West Bound magazine has to an online archive is this. Dead @ the very notion of a magazine with Laroo as its cover star.

Wednesday, 15 March 2017

Generic list post: great rap songs which don't even feature any rapping

Sometimes in rap the gobby fella upfront steps aside to let the rhythm/the DJ/the guest vocalist/the vocal samples/the bloke with a vocoder pretending to be a robot do they own thing. Word around town, God made us suffer Eric B's scratch-tracks on Paid In Full and Andre 3000's singing on The Love Below as cosmic balance for these 25 masterpieces:

The 45 King - The 900 Number (1988)
Hashim - Al-Naafiysh (The Soul) (1983)
Whodini - Featuring Grandmaster Dee (1984)
Main Source - Scratch & Kut (1991)
The Jonzun Crew - Space Is The Place (1983)
MF DOOM - Hands Of DOOM (1999)
Tuff Crew - Behold The Detonator (1989)
Herbie Hancock w/ Grandmixer DS.T - Rockit (1984)
Lil' Wayne - Big Tigger Live On The Radio (2002)
Mantronix - King Of The Beats (1988)
Crooklyn Clan - Tha Franklinz (1997)
Dr. Octagon - Bear Witness (1996)
Davy DMX - One For The Treble (1984)
The Beatnuts - World Famous Intro (1997)
Jungle Brothers - J Beez Comin' Thru (Bonus Beats) (1989)
Chris Stein w/ Grand Wizard Theodore - Gangbusters (1983)
Public Enemy - Show 'Em Whatcha Got (1988)
DJ Quik ft. Robert Bacon - Reprise (Medley For A "V") (1998)
Cypress Hill - Something For The Blunted (1991)
Ezale & DJ Fresh - Interlude Of The Funk (2016)
De La Soul ft. They Mans - Rap De Rap Show (1991)
The Egyptian Lover - Baddest (Bonus Beats) (1988)
DJ Red Alert - Hip Hop On Wax Volume 2 (1984)
Trel Itz A Hit - South Lousiana Swag (2015)
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - A Touch Of Jazz (1987)

Honourable mention goes to Puff's Get Off. Shit doesn't quite match this post's criteria, but it also doesn't contain any rapping.

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

There's only a few bloggas in the town we really have to sweat about

The art of blending NorCal mob music with New York thug-rap is usually attributed to the Mob Figaz, but four years before C-Bo introduced Jacka, Husalah et al to the world in 1998 there was this song from the Luniz' pre-Rap-A-Lot independent EP where Yukmouth & Numskull formed like Voltron with Dru Down went in over a combination of Southside Movement's I' Been Watching You, a Raekwon vocal sample, and some choice mob music synthesizer squiggles:

Luniz ft. Dru Down - Doin' Dirt
(From the Formally Known As The LuniTunes EP; 1994)

You could argue it was an aesthetic accident à la Dre Dog's Smoke Dope and Rap or Brotha Lynch Hung's 24 Deep if the Luniz & Dru Down hadn't teamed up again for The Mobb over every Queenbridge thug's favourite Isaac Hayes break two years later in 1996. All of which probably explains why Yukmouth recently dropped a Nas remake and Dru Down was Jacka's go-to guest veteran.

Monday, 13 March 2017

Enola Bay

"Headfirst in the streets so you know there ain't no stoppin'
Gettin' money like a printer, lame n*ggas wanna copy"

OMB Peezy - Loyalty Over Love (Intro)
(From YouTube; 2017)

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Bay via Sick Wid It's first Alabama transplant signee. This is the first OMB Peezy song which sounds like it could feature Alabama's Duke of Datazz, and it'll work very nicely as the intro to whatever Peezy's Sick Wid It debut turns out to be. Ideally it'll be an EP in the vein of Nef The Pharaoh's own Sick Wid It debut because Rap needs less mixtapes and more Mailmans.

On the Keith Welch YouTube channel tip, Peezy needs to procure FBG's Blood Brothers for himself because that song's beat + chorus are wasted on such a forgettable group. Everybody eats, B, but some rappers are only worthy of a trip to the Harvester buffet innit?

Sunday, 12 March 2017

Reasons why I love YouTube # 75

Either Tinashe is a big Stone Cold Steve Austin fan or her much-delayed sophomore album is finally dropping this coming thursday. It's a real Gift & Curse humdinger for ya host, because along with the possibility of new Legit Jams™ comes the tragic realisation that she'll probably never shoot a video for Touch Pass where she reprises the gymnastics from 0:27 to 0:31 of this live clip:

Here comes another shameless plug for my best non-rap songs of 2016 Audiomack playlist which featured Touch Pass.

Wednesday, 8 March 2017

See these ice cubes? See these Ice Cream Mans?

Iconic moment from Dru Down's Pimp Of The Year video. Don't even front like all of Dru's 4 get-ups in that promo aren't legitimate 5/5 rap video outfits.

Monday, 6 March 2017

Kenickie Kaniff

Ayo & Teo - Lit Right Now
(From teh internet; 2017)

On one hand, I feel like that nonce from Eminem's albums postin' a track by them kids who made the Rolex song. On the other hand, this is the catchiest shit since Caroline or Cash Machine, and it sounds like a Speaker Knockerz remake of Summer Nights from Grease. Tell me more, tell me more - it's like Swag-Rap will never die. Tell me more, tell me more - I didn't go to Rydell High, I went to Rydell high.

Sunday, 5 March 2017

Late '00s 'til Infinity

DJ Jazzy Jeff ft. Peedi Crakk - Brand New Funk 2k7
(From DJ Jazzy Jeff's Return Of The Magnificent album; 2007)

Peedi Crakk's remake of Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince's Brand New Funk was the best solo song he ever made and you can't tell me nuffink to the contrary.

Down for a wave of obscure late '00s rap nostalgia right now. I wanna see XXL articles on the making of DB Tha General's Welcome To The Navy album, blog posts debating whether Big Tuck's Pussy And Patron #actually bangs harder than Not A Stain On Me, Complex listicles about the best rap songs to debut on Imeem (Mic Terror's Get Off FTW), and someone other than me celebrating Maino bangers and Juney Boomdata deep cuts which shoulda been singles.

Saturday, 4 March 2017

Breaking news: WNC officially #TeamKevinGates

"And I'll still f*ck even if we was cousins"

WNC Whop Bezzy & 70th Street Carlos - Retarded N Dumb
(From t'internet; 2017)

Quite into the idea that WNC's songs with Trel Itz A Hit on the track are Louisiana's modern equivalent of Just-Ice's first LP with Mantronix on the beat in 1986: the tone is retro-futurism, the production is stark and savage, retardation & dumbness are lifestyle choices rather than birth defects, and the artwork looks like it's straight outta Skeme's blackbook in Style Wars. Even their respective goldfronts look like some cheap rhodium grillz off eBay that'll cause Gingivitis within 3 hours.

Don't believe me then peep my playlist of 70th Street Carlos songs produced by Trel Itz A Hit, essentially the closest 2016 rap came to Just-Ice's Back To The Old School album. True story like OMB Peezy.

Thursday, 2 March 2017

Martorial elegance: O.G Bobby Robson edition

He ducks from Ralo, but he trusts in Rafa... it's Rich Homie Quan:

A lesson to be learned for all Atlanta rappers who stop makin' good songs and get their career stolen by (former enemy) YFN Lucci - f*ck around and end up wearin' a Newcastle United replica shirt in a British R&B sanger's video. Quan might be persona non grata in NYC for forgetting Biggie verses, but he's every Geordie's favourite ATLien doon Bigg Market on a saturday night, like.

Make the trap say "Wye Aye, pet!" Shit's hard out here for a Geordie today because it's exactly 15 years to the night since Bergkamp scored that goal against Newcastle.

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Your arms too short to Talkbox with Zapp & Rog'

Coulda swore I've previously posted about Glory's Let's Get Nice, but blogspot's search function tells me it was all a dream, I used to read Empire magazine. Before Arthur Baker and Maurice Starr & Michael Jonzun signed to Tommy Boy Records and became Electro pioneers, the 3 of them were in a little-known Disco group by the name of Glory who recorded one of my vocoder-funk tunes of all time. This is the music that the alien mothership in Close Encounters Of The Third Kind shoulda used to communicate with Earth:

Glory - Let's Get Nice (7" mix)
(From Let's Get Nice 7" single; 1981)

The shortened 7" mix of Let's Gets Nice pops in places that the regular 12" mix merely bubbles, thus the former is the definitive version. One truncation under a groove, gettin' edited down just for the funk of it.

Monday, 27 February 2017

Generic list post: February 2017

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Milo got Ernest Bakered outta position. Also the month when us those of us who aren't Nas fanboys were reminded just how bad the Ether beat is.

OutKast ft. Killer Mike & Slimm Calhoun - Funkanella (2000)
Fat Tone ft. Boi Big - Walking In The Rain (2003)
Fat Tone - Not Guilty (2003)
OMB Peezy - Interracial Relations (2017)
OMB Peezy - When I Was Down (2017)
Donae'O ft. JME & Dizzee Rascal - Black (2016)
Donae'O - Black/Bounce (Social Circles Remix) (2017)
Mr. Eazi ft. Wizkid, Eddie Kadi & Maleek Berry - Leg Over (2017)

Other notables: Big Choo's upcoming remake of Dolamite's O.G Bounce Thugs-N-Harmony classic potentially sounds like New Orleans' equivalent of Be Faithful; it's not that I dislike the new Roc Marciano album, it just doesn't contain a killer song like Ridin' Around or We Ill; there was a glut of new Maine Musik & T.E.C music this month but none of it sounded Louisiana enough for my liking; Kap G is now 0 for 2 as far as 2017 songs go because No New Friends sounds like the 19th song on a 20 track Migos mixtape; it's heartwarming that finding Jesus has helped Mr.2-17 deal with Bankroll Fresh's death, but his new full length suggests he's now incapable of making a simple club banger without tryna save someone's soul on it; Nef The Pharaoh's Jacka tribute with Rydah J. Clyde is decent for what it is, but all I want right now is Nef's upcoming song with Mannie Fresh.

Friday, 24 February 2017

Funkanella >>>>> Funcrusher Plus

Late pass! Ain't gon' front like my knowledge of Dungeon Family unreleased/rare joints isn't fairly basic. I'd never heard the shelved ATLiens-era track Roaches And Rats which surfaced in 2006 until last year, and I was utterly unaware of this pre-Stankonia bangeur until yesterday:

"From East Point to New York, it's OutKast and Clue y'all
Howdy doo, y'all... Howdy doo, y'all!"

OutKast ft. Killer Mike & Slimm Calhoun - Funkanella
(From DJ Clue's Backstage: A Hard Knock Life compilation; 2000)

Hard to believe the third rapper on this now exclusively makes unlistenable music with the "pudgy, fish-faced ginger" snitch from Company Flow. What happened to the Earth(tone III)?

Tuesday, 21 February 2017

It's ya boy (literally)

If Ya Boy Big Choo is New Orleans' equivalent of Fatman Scoop circa the Crooklyn Clan's AV8 Records singles, then this upcoming remake of Dolamite's O.G Bounce & Bullshit classic teased on Instagram has the potential to be his Be Faithful. Only difference is, Scoop had to be played by a cartoon bobblehead in the Be Faithful video because he was a fat bastard who dances like your dad, while Choo is the same size as pre-diet Fat Joe but moves like a combination of Ronaldinho and Mr. Hit Dat Hoe:

Top 3 most anticipated songs right now: this Big Choo shit, the Nef The Pharaoh & Mannie Fresh slap, and the first track in this OMB Peezy vlog.

Monday, 20 February 2017

Ya blogga chose me

"Come f*ck with Blood, you'll see some shit you never seen befo'
Bitch, you hella bad, I think I seen you in my dreams befo'"

Lil' Blood & 12 Gauge Shotie - Mack
(From Chicken Talk album; 2016/YouTube; 2017)

Some ramshackle mob shit for a monday. If ya host had to choose like that lass in The Mack, I'd plump for this track over anything from Lil' Blood's new album with DJ Fresh. Song's retarded, but in the best possible taste, dahhlink!

Thursday, 16 February 2017

Generic list post: 5 fives (Last Dayz)

Already tackled the subject of opening songs on rap albums, so in the interest of #balance, here's a different kind of generic list post about closing songs on rap albums.

Dedicatin' this post to the now-defunct Ego Trip website, a place which knew a thing or two about rap lists. Thank you for reposting my AZ and Grand Puba playlists, fuck you for reposting Wicked22's crappy mixes.

5 killer final songs on rap albums:
Slick Rick - Lick The Balls (1988)
Raekwon & Ghostface Killah - Heaven & Hell (1995)
Snoop Doggy Dogg ft. Lil' Malik - Pump Pump (1993)
The Jacka - Barney (More Crime) (2005)
Eric B. & Rakim - Kick Along (1992)

Woulda been killer final songs if not for an outro or bonus remix:
Camp Lo - Coolie High (1997)
Ice-T - Soul On Ice (1988)
Juvenile - Money On The Couch (1997)
MF DOOM ft. Kurious - ? (1999)
Z-Ro - Happy Feelingz (2004)

Shout out to these 5 bonus tracks, though, innit:
UGK - Wood Wheel (2001)
Black Sheep - The Choice Is Yours (Revisited) (1991)
Dr. Dre ft. Death Row - Bitches Ain't Shit (1992)
Sean "Diddy" Combs - Get Off (2006)
YG ft. Pushaz Ink - When I Was Gone (2014)

5 tracks which shoulda been killer final songs on rap albums:
AZ - Doe Or Die (1995)
Egyptian Lover - I Cry (Night After Night) (1984)
Lil' Boosie - Trouble Man (2005)
2Pac - Death Around The Corner (1995)
Mac Dre - So Hard (2001)

5 shitty final songs on killer rap albums:
N.W.A - Something 2 Dance 2 (1988)
De La Soul ft. Biz Markie - Stone Age (1993)
GZA ft. Killah Priest - B.I.B.L.E (1995)
Public Enemy - Party For Your Right To Fight (1988)
Cypress Hill - Born To Get Busy (1991)

I generally choose not to acknowledge the existence of North Star (Jewels) since I never heard it until the early noughties due to not owning a CD copy of Only Built 4 Cuban Linx until then. There's a reason why people sweat The Purple Tape, but nobody gives a shit about The Red CD: the former ends on peak-rap music with Heaven And Hell, the latter ends on a superfluous-arse throwaway.

Wednesday, 15 February 2017

Will the defendant please rise

Court is now in session (no Chill Rob G.)

Conclusive proof that We Want Some Pussy is the best song on Ezale's Tonite Show:

Stop Come On and Day Ones both bodied via vehicular homicide.

I rest my case, y'honour.

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

File this under ‘one for the Brits’ (again)

Ever since a gang of scallies kicked Sophie Lancaster south of Heaven in 2007, there's been a war goin' on pon road no goff is safe from. Thankfully the mandem have been working tirelessly to repair the damage wrought by their working class white counterparts in recent years: man'll now spend their days in the colour of mourning, living Bauhaus every weekend. Even the Party Hard bloke has shown that he's down for the Count like Dracula's people and remixed his 2003 UK Garage classic My Philosophy (Bounce) with a Transylvanian twist by combining it with his 2016 single Black. There are songs for doz that slept, and then there are songs for doz that slept in a coffin:

Donae'O - Black/Bounce (Social Circles Remix)
(From t'internet; 2017)

Speakin' of Donae'O, was Farmer Yardie the UK Garage equivalent of T La Rock's Live Drummin' With The Country Boy?

Monday, 13 February 2017

Important reminder

Not only did Maino's Role Model body Eminem with his own concept, that shit was also the best Broken Language homage since Juvenile's Pimpinabitch. Contrary to the title of the mixtape Role Model came from, Maino was not The Future, but this song and the gossip-mongering street DVD anthem Rumors will forever have a place in ya host's personal canon of noughties N.Y rap.

"I'm bad company, don't look up to me
I'm not kinda person you should ever want to be"

Maino - Role Model
(From Maino Is The Future mixtape; 2008)

Is Brooklyn in the house? The answer is "NOPE!" with regards to that supposed new AZ single No Option. Some enterprising Soundcloud producer has actually just ham-handedly grafted the City Of Gods acapella over one of his own beats and then used footage from AZ's 2016 interview on BET for the video. Plz believe the only No Option we acknowledge here at The Martorialist belongs to Kid Ink & King Los.

Saturday, 11 February 2017

Wanted dead or alive: ID this song plz

What's the song in this video 5th Ward Weebie posted on Instagram? I can't work out if it's a Bounce song, a Dancehall song, or some combination of the two genres, let alone who the artist is. Might have to watch the video another 15 times in a row just to get to the bottom of what's goin' down here.

Thursday, 9 February 2017

IG Off & Slapardous

Already learned a harsh lesson not to get too excited about Nef The Pharaoh Instagram snippets after Everything Big turned out to be a disappointment, but this song with Mannie Fresh sounds like it has potential, especially since OMB Peezy might be on there too.

I'll bet you Peezy could knock out a real disrespectful remake of Mannie's Fight Song. Key word: disrespectful.

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

They had me in the paper like I was gone, all it took was 50 thou' to come back home

"I exited the county like a muthaf*ckin' G
On two homicides they got nothin' on me
The state is weak, they can't f*ck witcha boy
The put me all on the news - look, f*ckin' witcha boy!"

Fat Tone - Not Guilty
(From Tha Stick Up Kid album; 2003)

Another favourite Fat Tone slap. Bit ironic that the guy initially rumoured to be responsible for Mac Dre's death should have his own equivalent of Punk Police because Not Guilty is an autobiographical joint about Tone beating a double-murder case, and the importance of hiring a good lawyer when the cops come running. File this one under ‘songs Max B really shoulda listened to before he decided to let Gerald Saluti defend him.’

Sunday, 5 February 2017

Girlfriends will be lost in time like tears in rain

"I saw you.. AND HIM!
Walking in the rainnnnnn
You can try and deny and lie.. BITCH!
But I'm two steps ahead of the game
Two steps, two steps, two steps"

Fat Tone ft. Boi Big - Walking In The Rain (Martorialist Edit)
(From Tha Stick Up Kid album; 2003/Ya host's stash; 2017)

Fat Tone AKA the Kansas City rapper who was murdered in revenge for killing Mac Dre even though he evidently had nowt to do with Dre's death. Here's a shortened edit of my favourite Tone song via Jack The Snipper, a throwback to the days when rappers would occasionally get their girlfriend stolen instead of stealin' everyone else's girlfriends. Why an edit? Because the proper version outstays its welcome with an outro phonecall which drags on for a minute and a half. New rule: if you ain't Snoop on the Deeez Nuuuts intro or Mac Dre circa Back N Da Hood, keep all phonecalls outta rap songs.

Thursday, 2 February 2017

Ashley Cole & Cheryl Tweedy back!

"Havin' interracial relations with this motherf*ckin' white
You play me like I'm pussy, take your motherf*ckin' life
Am I a shooter who keep a Ruger? Bitch, you motherf*ckin' right
I keep a ruler like a tutor, I don't motherf*ckin' fight"

OMB Peezy - Interracial Relations
(From Soundcloud; 2017)

Once again it's on! How's the Lay Down kid's freestyle over a 1998 Soulja Slim classic sound fresher than damn-near any rap that's dropped in 2017? Interracial Relations almost has me wishing I'd never heard From What I Was Told because Peezy sounds to the manor born on that vintage No Limit factory-line beat. Oil and water don't mix like Durex and Catholics, but Peezy's gas on this one is so fluid it's makin' a mockery of everything ya host was taught in chemistry class.

Peezy's brand new single is hot too. Lad sounds like he could hail from Louisiana, the Bay or Detroit, but actually comes from Alabama, albeit with some ties to Sacramento. That'd explain why he's recorded songs with Lavish D's main producer.

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

You sang beautifully just now

Via Gwarizm, it's the infamous Style Wars the Musical short which has only ever partially existed online in muffled cameraphone footage previously. No Lucille Ball hairdos or Computer Rock burners are present, but Skeme & his mam are down in the f*ckin' kitchen singing their f*ckin' arses off like f*ckin' birds. THIS IS IT!:

Style Wars the Musical from ApK on Vimeo.

Best believe the only La La Land we acknowledge here at The Martorialist belongs to Green Velvet.

Monday, 30 January 2017

Generic list post: January 2017

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when worlds collided.

Camp Lo - Camp Lo (Bust Ya Down) (1995/2016)
Camp Lo - Coolie High Is Life (1995/2016)
OMB Peezy - Lay Down (2016)
Street Knowledge - Dru Down Flow (Can You Feel Me) (2017)
PnB Rock ft. Ty Dolla $ign - Hanging Up My Jersey (2017)
Simoncino - Beyond The Dance (Mr. Fingers Dark Mix) (2016)
Busy Signal - Go Again (2017)

Other notables: Out The Streetz is exactly the sort of production I wanna hear A-Wax over, so of course he had to go and ruin it by letting his saltine baggage handler rap on there too; Kap G ruined Freakin 'N' Geekin' all on his own with that Cold Hands On His Back flow (thanx, Jesse); listened to the SOB X RBE album and I still can't find a song by them I like enough to pay 99p for; every time Westwood plays these new Migos singles I'm reminded of how I felt any time I'd inadvertently catch a new Das EFX single back in the mid to late 90s: FFS when are these played-out motherf*ckers gonna go away already?

PS: listen to my top 10 non-rap songs of 2016 and sixteen which ain't from 2016 playlists.

Saturday, 28 January 2017

Another major L for The Guardian's coverage of rap music

From this point forward, noone from The Guardian is allowed to mock The Daily Mail for running a story about DMX with pictures of D.M.C ever again:

What's the most #Problematic thing about The Guardian printing a picture of Bre-Z & Gizzle on its front page trailer for a Rae Sremmurd interview yesterday?

* That The Guardian thinks all blk ppl look alike to the point that they can't even tell blk lads from blk lasses?

* That The Guardian thinks two lesbians are men?