Not so main Source

This was the first review which had Young Marty questioning whether The Source's ratings could be trusted. Reggie Dennis' glowing review and the 3.5 mic rating rating were out-of-sync like a dubbed VHS smut movie, and I had the album before I read the review so I already knew it was far better than a 3.5 mic rating. The bit which puzzles me most nowadays is Dennis' claim that Melle Mel wrote Straight Up N*gga. The flow kinda does sound like it contains Mel-titudes, but I've never seen any actual evidence that he wrote it. You'd think that Melle Muscles would have got some sort of official writing credit by now, right? After all, Prince Whipper Whip from Grandwizard Theodore & The Fantastic Five has a co-writer credit on Fried Chicken and that's just an interlude innit.

Ice-T - Fried Chicken
(From O.G. Original Gangster album; 1991)


** EDIT ** Werner dropped from the rafters into my comments and came through with clarification that Melle Mel was indeed the co-writer of Straight Up N*gga and he's credit on the penultimate page of the CD booklet.

My Mind Spray 20

The most accurately succinct description of Young Bleed's music I've ever heard was by Bleed himself on Give and Take when he said "you know I let the beats bang and slowly do my thang."

Kurious' Mystery Mixtape and Slick Rick's Victory album were released as overpriced boutique vinylz, so is it really too much to ask to get CD releases of both? If a CD release is good enough for G. Dep's tracks from the 1990s then it's good enough for new releases by Kurious and Slick Rick.

Ezale's website is selling t-shirts, hoodies, hats, lighters, toy trains which you use as blunt passers, carbonated fizzy drinks and damn near everything except physical copies of his Town Taxes album. Rappers are so annoying sometimes.

Lil' M.U's Top Of Cars is definitely the 2025 equivalent of Dude 'n Nem's Watch My Feet. Unfortunately it didn't hit the UK top 40 singles chart like Watch My Feet did back in 2007 or 2008.

Checking the current UK top 40 singles chart, and the only rapper who appears is a white scally from Liverpool in a balaclava... and it isn't even the kid who made Packs and Potions.

Say cheesey part 2

LARussell ft. Snow Tha Product - Am I Blurry?
(From Am I Blurry? single; 2025)


To paraphrase the Dag Nasty lads, there's a thin line between slap and slop. When I discover an old Mac Dre song I've never heard before, I'm always nervous on my first listen that one of Dre's goons will pop up with a verse and ruin the track. It's a similar nervousness with a new LARussell song, but instead of a goon's verse, it's LARussell's own lyrics about streaming statistics or Instagram analytics which kill a track stone dead for me. That muhf**ker nearly manages to mess up his own song here by veering dangerously close to becoming a rapping LinkedIn profile. Thankfully he reigns himself in and doesn't ruin a ClayDough production that's the sound of the trans-BART express. Very unexpected but welcome guest appearance by Snow Tha Product looking like a Juggalo burglar.

I should probably pay more attention to what ClayDough produces. He's one of the keyboard lads from The Yee Section who is behind my favourite Seiji Oda song of 2025.

Juke Them, Hoes (part 2)

Lil' M.U. - Top Of Cars
(From Handful maxi EP thingy; 2025)


You already know Lil' M.U's Top Of Cars is one of ur host's favourite 2025 Rap singles. But why did the original video get wiped from the internet and get replaced with a new video which is nowhere near as good? M.U let her own footwork do most of the talking in the original video, but here she mostly leaves it to her m8s to get on their good foot. Worse still, nobody even dances on top of a car second time around. Word up, the enshittification is real.

There's a From The Block performance of Top Of Cars where people in the comments are like "this beat sux!" And that is precisely why Hip-Hop kulcha is such a joke now: the audience mostly consists of dry-eared box-brains with terrible taste in music.

F**k off like you're Ernest Baker

Either J Hus' new song with that Canadian nonce is trolling me or God is punishing me for enjoying Hus' Devilish behaviour on It's Crazy. Of all the people Hus could get on this track it had to be THAT frigging guy. This is a Drake guest spot which sets the bar low and then limbos under it sounding like Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black: a textbook example of his usual creepy nonsense that's made all the worse by its rambling length, his cringey attempts at patois, and the shrill deathrattle of how Godawful his voice sounds with a pinch of Auto-Tune. Wasn't it bad enough that One Dance forever besmirched the Do You Mind remix? Brexit is such a failure that we can't even stop Canadian nonces ruining songs by U.K artists. Someone get Suella Braverman on the phone and tell her to forget about illegal immigrants on boats - our J Hus summer jam of 2023 has been invaded by the W.O.A.T rapper who tried to groom Jorja Smith when she was a teenager. To paraphrase that crap Welsh indie band, if you tolerate Drake then your children will be next.

Of course some intrepid soul will edit Drake out of this which will be fine for my personal use, but the damage is already done. This song is bound to become inescapable this summer and every time I hear that Canadian nonce's voice I'm gonna be counting down the days until winter. **EDIT** cheers to one of my commenters who found this particularly smooth edit where you can pretend the Canadian nonce's verse never existed. Summer isn't quite saved yet, but it's a start.

J Hus - Who Told You (no Drake edit)
(From YouTube; 2023)

My Mind Spray 7.5

When Grand Daddy I.U died recently, someone suggested he was Kid Capri's ghostwriter for The Tape album. Never caught wind of that rumour before but I can definitely hear imprints of I.U's flow in Capri's words and how they're delivered. The Tape is a very enjoyable album, and finding out that Grand Daddy I.U possibly contributed to it only adds another layer of enjoyment for me.

My favourite non-2023 Rap song discovery of 2023 so far has gotta be B.A.N.P by Day Day Sustaaa. It's possible I'll find another non-2023 Rap song that's better than B.A.N.P but unlikely I'll find one that's harder.

Someone needs to ask Devin The Dude why Yo' Ho got cut from the retail version of Just Tryin' Ta Live. What possible reason was there to shelve a bonzer Dr. Dre production which was beggin' to be the album's main single?

Life's a bastard when I've become a big Homeboy Sandman fan, but the only U.K show on his current European tour is in London. Would recommend catching him live because his 2019 Liverpool show with Edan was a blast and had me going back searching out the older songs he performed like America, The Beautiful and Talking (Bleep).

I thought Jim Jones' 2007 Simon Cowell lookin' ass bootcut jeans were the nadir of rapper denim, but those bellbottomed skinny distressed jeans rappers are wearing nowadays are a new low.

Don't Believe The Hype (Sticker)

On one hand, it was a game-recognise-game moment when Devin The Dude got top billin' on the hype sticker for Jacka's Tear Gas CD. On the other hand, it was shameful that Cellski got shafted for sticker-space when he was behind the boards and the microphone for the album's arguable best single. Damn, homie - Cellski made Streets Of Frisco but he still got knocked out the box for Planet Asia.

Young Cellski aka 2 Took - Streets Of Frisco
(From Inner City Life EP; 1992)

G-Funk Classics · Young Cellski - Streets of Frisco

So, Jacka songs from 2007/2008 you wish he'd put on Tear Gas? I got these 5 on it:

The Jacka - Heavy Rain (2007)
The Jacka - Aspen (2007)
The Jacka - Rule The World (2007)
The Jacka - Wake Ya Game Up (2008)
The Jacka - African Warrior (2008)

Wholesome Of Mischief

Ugly Duckling - Fresh Mode
(From Fresh Mode EP; 1999)


How I learned to stop worrying and love this song: forget how annoying Ugly Duckling's fans were and enjoy the song for its wholesome backpack-and-forth between Andy Cooper & Dizzy Dustin. It's silly to let other people ruin an artist for you, but Ugly Duckling's fanboys tended to be 4 Elements fundamentalists or "I don't usually listen to Rap BUT..." guys, so that's my excuse and I'm stickin' to it. A pity, though, because I coulda used Fresh Mode as a Nice & Squeaky-Clean detox from songs like Freddie Foxxx's Part Of My Life and Juvenile's U Understand back in 1999.

Mind you, I was absolutely right to hate Everybody C'mon back in '99. If that song were a person then it'd be Wicked22.

Generic list post: June 2022

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when I found out that the cassingle of Big Scoob's Champagne On The Block had an amazing front cover. Those of us who own the 12" got shafted.

Big Scoob - U Got It (2002)
Yung Joc - A Couple Grand (2006)
Monaleo - We Not Humping (2021)
Eatem ft. BR Cowboy - Magical (2022)
Duke Deuce ft. Glorilla - Just Say That (2022)
Homeboy Sandman - Fruit Day 1 (2022)
Consequence - Blood Stain (2022)
P-Lo ft. Larry June - Good (2022)
Ezale - Hotel Motel (2022)
Westside Boogie ft. DRAM - AIGHT (2022)
Knucks ft. Sainte - Playa (2022)

Other notables: I'm still not tryna hear G-Herbo soundalikes over Jersey Club beats but Asian Doll's song featuring Bandmanrill is hot like summertime with corduroys; Seiji Oda's What It Feel Like is a cool little stopgap song; as someone who has a soft spot for French Montana I didn't need him on a remix of the best U.K single of 2022.

PS: they were only Lil' like Chris, but I made a couple of playlists this month: five New York 12" songs I love and my top 5 NorCal Rap songs of 2022 so far.

PPS: I wouldn't necessarily say that Playa is one of my favourite songs on the Knucks album, but that chorus stays richochetting and reverberating around my head, so I've ended up listening to it more than the album's de facto best songs.

T.I. Vs. T.I.P. voice

T.I. - 24's
(From Trap Muzik album; 2003)


T.I. - Be Easy
(From Trap Muzik album; 2003)


T.I. - Rubber Band Man
(From Trap Muzik album; 2003)


I wanna talk to you, shorty, because you be trippin' sometimes. It ain't a doubt in my mind that Trap Muzik had one of the best singles trifectas of all time. Ain't shit harder than 24's; smarter than Be Easy; more heart than Rubber Band Man; don't argue with me, reader.

Coulda been a perfect quadruple if Let's Get Away wasn't the fourth single. What began as a smooth jam for hoes with gold teeth and hoes with good credit quickly became Tip's perversion on wax. My man put the T.I into T.M.I on that song. Damn, son - T.I. was Brad J in the streets but J. Cole between the sheets.

Never forget the Planez verse, never forgive it either.

Thinking of a Masta plan

Master Ace - Me & The Biz
(From Take A Look Around album; 1990)



Boggles my mind that the brilliance of Me & The Biz was an accidental masta stroke - the song is a glorified reference track which ended up being released because Biz Markie and Marley Marl both refused to be in the same studio to record Biz's vocals. Masta Ace says he thinks the song would have been a bigger hit if Biz had appeared on it; perhaps, but it would have lost what makes it such a unique song, and Rap would be poorer without the Biz Markie puppet which was created especially for the video. Real talk, though - how'd everyone involved go to the trouble of making a Biz puppet, decking it out with the video's best outfit, and then do the song itself dirty by editing out the entire third verse? You bet that makes me real mad, don't it.

Crazy visions, BOOM: Ace pays tribute to The Diabolical by recording Me & The Biz part 2. There's no need to find a new beat because it's scientifically impossible to come up with a better backdrop for Ace's Bizisms than that Cymande sample.

Generic list post: best bonus tracks (2000 - 2021)

When MF DOOM asked "which n*ggas is wack until they last two tracks?" on The Finest in 1999 he couldn't have ever anticipated how ridiculous the bonus track game would become in following decades: regular bonus tracks, deluxe bonus tracks, remix bonus tracks, re-released 2nd pressing bonus tracks, 2nd disc bonus tracks, European bonus tracks, Japanese bonus tracks, Australian bonus tracks, Best Buy bonus tracks, Target bonus tracks, iTunes bonus tracks, Spotify bonus tracks etc etc etc. FREEZE! This shit is outta control, for example an actor who never snapped outta his role. So, here's ya host's favourite songs from the past 20+ years which were forced to get in where they didn't fit in as bonus tracks.

Sean Price ft. Agallah & Bazaar Royale - Rising To The Top (2005)
UGK - Wood Wheel (2001)
Nas - Thief's Theme (2004)
AZ - Live Wire (2005)
50 Cent - Wanksta (2003)
Bubba Sparxxx - Disappear (2003)
Foxx ft. Boosie & Webbie - Wipe Me Down (remix) (2007)
D-Lo ft. E-40, Beeda Weeda & The Jacka - No Hoe (remix) (2009)
The Jacka - It's The Jack (2006)
Ludacris - Act A Fool (2003)
Diddy - Get Off (2006)
Young Dro - Cartoon (2006)
Max B - Blow Me A Dub (remix) (2008)
Gucci Mane - Photoshoot (2009)
Waka Flocka Flame - Luv Dem Gun Sounds (2010)
Mic Terror - Rodney King (2014)
Mac Dre ft. PSD & Dubee - Bonus Track (2004)
Jim Jones ft. Max B & Mel Matrix - Sour Deez (2006)
Birdman & Lil' Wayne - Neighbourhood Superstars (2006)
YG ft. Pushaz Inc - When I Was Gone (2014)
Prodigy - Dirty New Yorker (2008)
Future - Sh!t (2014)
Berner & The Jacka ft. J.Stalin - Live Without Me (2015)
Roc Marciano - Paradise For Pimps (2012)
Boosie - We Gon' Miss You (2010)
T.I. - You Ain't Fly (2006)
Busta Rhymes ft. Diddy & Pharrell - Pass The Courvoisier Part 2 (2002)
Rhymefest - These Days (2006)
Freeway ft. Young Chris - Line 'Em Up (2003)
Kendrick Lamar ft. Dr. Dre - The Recipe (2012)

Nothing sums up Nas' idiocy better than him relegating his last truly great song to a bonus track on one of the worst double albums in Rap history. Word is bond, son, you let yourself down like dis!?!

PS: Schrödinger's Album (noun)
A philosophical thought-experiment conducted by dullards on Rap Twitter where Nas' It Was Written is simultaneously unfairly underrated and better than Illmatic.

Cat Tone part whatever

Yung Cat - Who Shot Me
(From YouTub; 2021)


Yung Cat's always good for one slap per year. Not sure that taunting the people who shot you is a particularly good idea, but according to internet gossip Cat's recent shooting was just another one of his staged publicity stunts. Alas, the video of him pretending to sign a record deal has long since been deleted but this fugazi classic from Killa City's H&M store remains:


Look closely and you'll notice that the guy Cat "robs" in the H&M video is the very same guy playing guitar with the gun in the Who Shot Me video lolz.

Can You Phil Me?

Phil Blunts - On The Attack
(From On The Attack 12" single; 1996)


A '96 Yonkers minor classic which never ascended to Tunnel Banger status and now finds itself lost in Random-Rap purgatory. Never in a month of Black Sundays or Blue Mondays did I ever imagine Phil Blunts' On The Attack would have a video but looka here, boys & very occasional girl. Song's hot like quilts... except for that lyric at 01:31. It doesn't ruin the song for me but does make me wince. Why you wanna say that bruv, huh?

Maybe there's another secrete & rare video for Phil's other late 90's single They Don't Really Love Us? If this ain't the most Queens-soundin' song to ever come from Yonkers then I'll eat LL's Kangol hat.

Phil Blunts ft. Black Jesus - They Don't Really Love Us
(From They Don't Really Love Us 12" single; 1997)

HoodScienceEntertainment · PHIL BLUNTS -THEY DON'T REALLY LOVE US(ORIGINAL)

Handily, you can get both these songs on the same damn 12" single.

Wax on, piss off

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A post shared by Dante Ross (@danteross)

A buncha unreleased peak-era Casual songs? YAY! A 'vinyl driven release'? NAY!

Limited edition boutique Rap records are for Hypebeast teenagers on Instagram and middle-aged men who'd be stamp collectors or model railway enthusiasts if they'd never discovered Hip-Hop. Wax is a vastly-overrated format anyway - I give 12" singles their props but that's where it stops because vinyl has always been a useless format for Rap albums. Picture me paying money for an album on a format I can't play in a car or I can't even program out all the stupid skits about farts and blowjobs? GTFOH and take your pleas for crowd funding with you, m8.

Someone tell Dante he can keep the song with Everlast, though. I dunno what if it's Plastic Paddy-era Everlast or Wooden Guthrie-era Everlast but ain't nobody wanna hear any incarnation of that guy on a 90's Casual song.

Operation CB

You, a square: upon initial contact with this trendy new drumless Rap album, I can deduce that it has redefined how Rappers use negative space to find previously-unexplored new pockets.

Me, a connoisseur: M8, City Girls combined Planet Rock with Percolator and the results are pure Miami Bass Poison Quim madness.

City Girls - Twerkulator
(From the internet; 2021)


Apparently this song got officially cock-blocked by sample clearance. Gonna hazard a guess that Bambaataa was asking for too big a bag since the noncing allegations have left him broke and hiding out in Germany. Never forget!

If your name's not down, you're not comin' in

Duke Deuce ft. Offset - Gangsta Party
(From Duke Nukem album; 2021)


WHAT DA FUUUUUUUUUUUUUK are Rappers thinkin' by adding Migos guest verses to their songs in 2021? The old adage goes it only takes two people to get a party started, but Duke Deuce woulda been far better off dancing with himself on this one. Gangsta Party is the only song from Duke's latest album which might have as good as Yeh, Crunk Ain't Dead, Bad News and Fat Mac if only he'd have hit Offset with a "not tonight, buddy" at the door. Let's stop the bullshit already, Rap would be a far better place in 2021 if Migos had never existed and Travis Porter had got the beats for Hannah Montana, YRN and Fight Night instead.

God bless YouTube: I Will Survive

YAY: an amazing clip of Melle Mel & Duke Bootee lip-syncing their Electro Vérité classic Message II (Survival) on some German TV show in 1983.

NAY: hang on - that's not Duke, it's Rahiem from the Furious Five just like in the video for The Message. Yet more shiesty Duke Bootee erasure by Sugar Hill Records or wot?

AYO: word around town, Melle Mel's Zed from Zardoz lookin' outfit was the tipping point which forced Run-D.M.C to flip Rap's whole sartorial script with their Adidas tracksuits, Lee jeans, and Double Goose bomber jackets.

MAYBE: was Melle Mel's outfit the inspiration for 2Pac's infamous studded leather vest? 'Pac thought he was Mob Piru but looked more like a Crippendale in that thing.

Martorial Elegance: The Blacker The Beret

It ain't necessarily a bad thing that Jeezy's gone from berettas to berets if he's rebranding himself for the Western Europe market on some Jacques Or Die type shit. It is, however, a bad look that he's gone from Circulate to resemblin' an uncircumcised Plush Penis©.

Bonus hats: are Quartersnacks' Coinstar caps inspired by Juiceboxxx's ode to the loose change dream machine?

Everybody eats, b! (But preferably at their own table)

"F*ck it, go and spin the bottle
You know I don't do no cappin', that's why a n*gga wearin' goggles"

Eatem ft. 70th Street Carlos - Spin The Bottle
(From YouTube; 2020)


Pffft - you wait a couple of years for two of Baton Rouge's rowdiest to hop on a proper track together and when it finally happens Carlos' vocals sound like they've been clumsily Pro Toolsed in from another song entirely. Is it too much to ask for a guest verse that's cognisant of the lead rapper's presence and the song it features on? That is why ya host is a solo song afficionado nowadays - gimme a singular vision rather than a shared collaboration.